6. Community, Faith, and a New Relationship with Alcohol

The quiet fear of being the only one not drinking can make change feel impossible. We pull that fear into the light and walk through a kinder path—one built on community, honest conversations, and small steps that add up. From the first awkward seltzer at a party to the relief of hearing your own story echoed in someone else’s words, we map the journey from isolation to connection with practical options for every comfort level.

We talk openly about identity—who am I without a drink in my hand?—and the social pressure that keeps so many stuck. With a faith-forward lens, we explore why we’re designed for community and how scripture and science agree on this simple truth: support multiplies your strength. You’ll hear how online groups, anonymous meetings, and in-person gatherings can meet you where you are, plus easy scripts for navigating invites, managing anxiety, and setting gentle boundaries at events. No rock bottom required; you’re allowed to choose a better path early.

If you’ve been waiting for a sign to reach out, consider this your nudge. Start with one text to a trusted friend. Try one online meeting with your camera off. Ask for a prayer at church. Let one light switch on, then another, until the room brightens and the next step becomes clear. If this conversation helps, follow the show, share it with someone who needs hope, and leave a review to help others find it. Your story could be the spark that lights the way for someone else.

Transcript

Naming the Lonely Fears

SPEAKER_00 0:00

One of the hardest parts of changing your relationship with alcohol, whether that means drinking less, taking a break, or just getting sober, is that it can feel lonely. You may worry that you're gonna be the only one not drinking at a party or an event. You might wonder, like, what will people say? Will they think I'm pregnant or that I have a problem? You might wonder, who am I if I'm not drinking? Like you're so used to drinking at all the things because our culture is completely obsessed with alcohol and every event is, you know, sort of drenched in it. You might wonder, how am I going to talk to people? How am I how am I going to relieve my anxiety, especially maybe if you're an introvert or you just feel nervous about going to things like that? Um, there's a lot of people that have that fear. Um, and people, and you fear sort of just what will other people think? I remember having that fear deeply embedded in me and afraid to tell people. But here's the truth: God never designed us to walk alone in this, and you don't

Designed for Community

SPEAKER_00 1:02

have to. Ecclesiastes 4, 9 through 10 says, two people are better off than one, for they can help each other and succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But sometimes, but someone who falls alone is in real trouble. We need each other, guys. Community is one of God's greatest gifts in this journey of change. So it doesn't matter if you're quitting drinking or you're training for a marathon or you're trying to get through a parenting issue. We need other people that are going through the same thing or are a step ahead of us to come alongside us. That's why so many people that try to do this alone end up failing in the end. Now we're all going to fail in one way or another. Even if you never took another drink, we are going to have failures in our lives. So don't think that's what I'm trying to say. What I am saying is it wasn't until I stepped out and basically joined hands with other people walking through this that I felt like I was empowered to change. And that's because that's what God made us for. God said it's not good for man to be alone. Now, in that line specifically, he was talking about marriage. However, um, it is clear that God also designed us to be in community. He gave us the church for one, but also we can look at data and studies and see how everything done in a group of support is better. Um, we actually are like souls and our physical bodies even start to die in solitude. And so I say all that to say, let's let's make sure that we are joining hands with other people if we're trying to get through this.

From Isolation to Connection

SPEAKER_00 2:36

When I first stepped away from alcohol, I really felt isolated because I wasn't talking to really anyone about it and I was trying to do it on my own. Pretty much everyone else I knew drank, and I didn't know anyone in my real life who was choosing sobriety. It felt very isolating, like I said. And anytime I would see someone either online or maybe meet randomly that wasn't a drinker or was sober, I was so fascinated. And I just wanted to ask them a lot of questions, but not be too obvious. Um, and then I realized, hey, um, you can actually find these people and they want to help you and they're online. Um, and this was during COVID. So we basically had to do it online. But when I began connecting with other women online who were also questioning alcohol or trying to quit, everything sort of shifted. I suddenly realized I wasn't weird, I wasn't alone. I, you know, wasn't the only one that had sort of a quote unquote normal life, but still felt like I had a problem. I wasn't the only one who nobody else in their life questioned them, but was I was questioning myself. There was a lot of other people like that. I was part of this bigger movement of women that were choosing to walk away from this thing that was bad for them, even though nobody was necessarily telling them, oh, you've got to do this or your life is gonna be over. You don't have to get to that point to choose something different. In that community, it gave me courage when I was shaky and it gave me hope when I felt discouraged. And maybe you're listening and you're thinking, I don't have anyone in my life who gets it. I'm not in a group. I am scared to like step out there and put my face or my name to this. If that's you, I want you to know you aren't alone. You're not the only one out there that feels this way. And there are a lot of women across every age, stage, and background who are walking this path. Uh, God will provide people for you, sometimes in surprising ways. And it's not just that you're gonna sit there and be like, wow, I'm just gonna wait for God to provide something.

Practical Ways to Find Support

SPEAKER_00 4:27

No, there are lots of online groups and programs that you can jump into completely anonymously if you want to, to just start going to meetings with your camera off if you need to and listening. And once you listen, you're gonna realize that there's so many people like you. If you're feeling brave and you want to go to an in-person AA meeting, that's even better to be in person with people. I know that can be intimidating. So if you're not ready for that, I totally get it. Um, but there are people on all modes of the spectrum at AA meetings, and many of them have been going for years. It is not weird to walk into one. And I promise you are gonna walk away feeling like, wow, like it's not as bad as I thought, right? Being with other people that are experiencing similar things. Community, it doesn't have to be big, it doesn't have to be dramatic. It could even start with just one friend, one mentor, one small group or one online space. The important thing is that you just you don't isolate and do this alone. I know me being in your earbuds, maybe that can feel like you're not alone, but when you're not having a truly tangible relationship where you can have conversations and really feel supported, um, that's enough, that's you need that component outside of just this podcast or just emails that you may be getting. So be brave, step forward, shame dies in the light. Your problem is not going to grow when you bring it out into the open and let other people support you. This week I want you to take one step forward toward community. That could mean texting a trusted friend, sharing honestly about your desire to drink less with someone, or even you could write it in an email or a note. It could mean joining an online support group. I'll share some of those in the notes, or it could mean reaching out to someone

One Small Step Forward

SPEAKER_00 6:18

at your church and asking if there's a recovery group or a women's group you can plug into, or just asking for a prayer request, you know? One connection, it starts everything else. Just imagine you're in the dark and you turn on one light. You could see so much more with that one light. And then imagine that more lights get turned on. And before you know it, everything has lit up and your soul is in a better place. Let's

A Prayer for Courage

SPEAKER_00 6:42

pray. Lord, thank you for the gift of community. Thank you for not leaving us to walk this journey alone. Help us find the right people who will encourage and uplift us. Give us courage to reach out and be honest. And help us also to be a friend who can lift others up when they need help. In Jesus' name, amen.