9. Legacy, Not Liquor

What if one small choice today could change your family’s story for decades? We open up about alcohol, presence, and faith—and the surprising power of a simple question: am I choosing life or choosing death? Drawing from Deuteronomy 30:19, we explore how that short prompt can interrupt autopilot in the hardest moments and point us toward a future marked by steadiness, honesty, and hope.

We share our family’s experience with the fallout of addiction, including the lingering weight of childhood trauma and PTSD. From there, we talk about declaring a new direction—“It ends with us”—and what that really looks like in daily life. Not a grand gesture, but a series of doable pivots: writing down your why, praying over the people you love, placing visible reminders to choose life, and building simple habit swaps that make presence easier than numbing out. Whether you’re a parent or not, your example becomes a lighthouse for the people around you—proof that healing is possible and that small sober choices compound into a legacy.

If you’ve wrestled with wine-o’clock, stress spirals, or the quiet shame of not being fully there, this conversation offers both compassion and a clear path forward. We talk practical strategies for urges, the role of community and church in mentoring the next generation, and how music and prayer can anchor us when the day hits hard. The takeaway is both brave and gentle: your decision to live differently matters. It honors God, blesses others, and sets a new tone that echoes beyond your lifetime.

If this resonates, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs hope, and leave a review so more listeners can find these conversations. Then tell us: what’s your why, and how will you choose life today?

Transcript

Choices Ripple Through Generations

SPEAKER_00 0:00

The choices we make with alcohol don't just affect us, right? Ultimately, they affect other parts of our lives and other people in our lives. They ripple outward to our kids, our families, communities, even future generations, even though that's really crazy to think about. It may feel heavy to consider this, but it's also an opportunity. I think so many times with drinking, that's what I wanted to escape was the heavy stuff, the things that were so hard to comprehend or deal with that I just chose not to deal with them. But you're here and you're present, and I know you want to live in reality.

Choosing Life: A Faith Lens

SPEAKER_00 0:38

And by rethinking alcohol, you're not just changing your story, you may be rewriting rewriting your family legacy. Deuteronomy 30, 19 says, Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessing and curses. Oh, that you would choose life so that you and your descendants might live. I love that verse so much. Oh, that you would choose life so that you and your descendants might live. When you choose life, when you choose presence and to trust in God, you are passing down a legacy to the next generation. If you are a parent, this is especially um, this is especially uh significant. But even if you're not, you are still passing down something to the next generation and you still have truth and goodness and wisdom to be there for other people. Because as members of God's church, we are all called to mother and father those that are below us and to be mentors and guides and to disciple the next generation. So we all have this responsibility. And I just love the concept of choosing life. It's like in whatever moment you're in, say you're just like in like a desperate place. If you can remember this, this these two words from Deuteronomy. Oh, that you would choose life. Stop in that moment and say, Am I choosing life or am I choosing death? Because essentially these are the two paths that we have in every moment and every choice that we make. Are we choosing life or are we choosing death? Can we do the next right thing that leads to life in that moment? Every it can be the smallest decision, but even a slight pivot can put us on the right path. So just remember that. Write it down, choose life, put it everywhere if you need to, tattoo it on your

Breaking Cycles: It Ends With Us

SPEAKER_00 2:31

arm. Um, and remember that even that simple little moment of uh remembrance of those two words can can make all the difference. When we choose life, we're not just choosing a blessing for ourselves, but we are blessing those who come after us and all the ripple effects that choosing life has. When I think about my kids, I can't help but imagine that legacy that I want to leave them, especially coming from a family where alcoholism has been a part of our um our history, where especially my husband's side of the family um really was rocked in a terribly difficult way that where he went through so much trauma. He has PTSD from the way that alcohol and drugs affected his childhood. And I want to change the story. Um there's a there's a concept, there's a book called It Ends With Us. Um, the Colleen Hoover novel is it's about um ending uh generations of domestic violence in families. But when I saw that, when I read that book and I heard that title, It Ends With Us, I couldn't help but think about this. And I thought to myself, it ends with us, with my husband and I. Like we're gonna end this cycle. We are not gonna pass this down to them. I want to leave them with a legacy of life to where they choose life, not death. I don't want them to remember a mom and a dad who was always numbing out with wine or easily frustrated because I was drinking, or change my personality, you know, dependent on what time of day it was or what I was having to drink. I want them to remember a mom who was present and joyful and free and chose life. My choice to get sober wasn't just for me. It was for them too, and for the generations who will come after them. Because when you change the trajectory in one generation, it changes generations and generations and generations. And it reminds me of that song, The Blessing. Um, may your family and your children and your people, um, the blessing forever and ever and ever. And

Your Why, Your Legacy

SPEAKER_00 4:35

I just, hey, listen to that song right now. I'll link it down below. Listen to that song, The Blessing, because that's ultimately what we want, right? Maybe you don't have kids, maybe your family story is more complicated than mine, or or or or whatever it is that you're saying, but that's not me, or that's not possible. Whatever it is, I want you to hear this. Your decision to live differently matters. Your decision, your decision to choose life is ultimately gonna honor God and honor others. It's going to break a cycle, it's going to set a new tone. It shows other people what's possible. Your sobriety, if you so choose, or even cutting back a lot or changing the way that you drink, that can inspire someone else to believe that it's possible for them too. You are building a legacy of life. So take a few minutes and think about your why. Why are you doing this? Who are you doing it for? I want you to write down their names or write down the purpose of why you are stepping forward in this. Pray over these people. Pray over this reason. And let your love for others and your hope for the future give you strength when you're tempted to give up. Let's pray. Father, thank you. Thank you that our choices matter, not just for us, but for the generations after us. Give us courage to choose life today and strength to keep choosing it tomorrow. Let our lives be a blessing to our families, our friends, and our communities. Help us to always choose life. In Jesus' name. Amen.