7 Things That Get in the Way of Your Budget | Ep. 28

Over 56% of millennials and Gen Z are using credit cards just to get through the month — and the average savings balance sits at around $300. That's not a budgeting failure. It's a belief problem.

In this episode, Rahul and Van Pillay break down the 7 things that quietly sabotage a healthy budget — from the shame that keeps you from facing your numbers, to the thoughts and beliefs driving your spending behavior, to the subscription charges draining your account right now without you realizing it.

They also get real about what financial unity actually looks like in marriage, why paying yourself first is the most underrated money move, and how attacking your biggest expenses can save you far more than skipping your morning coffee ever will.

This is practical, honest, and built for real life — whether you're just starting out, rebuilding, or finally ready to stop avoiding the conversation.

In this episode:

• Why avoidance and shame keep people financially stuck
• How thoughts and beliefs drive spending behavior
• Building financial unity as a couple
• Paying yourself first as a non-negotiable bill
• Tackling big expenses before small ones
• The subscription trap and how to catch it

🎙 Part of the Pillay Place Podcast — faith, family, and finance for everyday life.

Find us on Spotify @pillayplacepodcast

https://open.spotify.com/show/6yDlDhEWsh21t2zeg7f5AC?si=B7-HfM0VR6SJuI2i7l4Kdg

YouTube: @pillayplacepodcast 

https://www.youtube.com/@PillayPlacePodcast

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

A 2026 debt.com survey found that over 56% of millennials and Gen Zs now rely on credit cards to just get through the money. Average savings across the newer generation is down to 300 bucks.

SPEAKER_02 0:18

It's usually a thing that I feel ashamed of, embarrassed about.

SPEAKER_00 0:24

It's the extra things you pick up when you're out and you do that 10 times a month. The little things that add up. Majority of the time, your expenditure really is a set of behaviors that has been happening for more than what you would think has been happening. Today we're talking about seven gaps in your finances. Hi everybody, welcome back to the Pillet Place podcast where we talk about faith, family, and finance. Um, our our goal is to help you leave a legacy of faith, family, and finance. And with that, today we're talking about seven gaps in your finances. Seven gaps in your finances, and I'll quote a stat here. A 2026 debt.com survey found that over 56% of millennials and Gen Zs now rely on credit cards to just get through the month. As a matter of fact, average savings across the newer generation is down to 300 bucks. Doesn't even cost for tires. If they need to get to work by driving, they don't have enough money to actually pay for those tires if those tires fail. So um, so folks, folks are in uh dire need for better finances. So what we've decided to do is write down seven things that essentially get in the way of having a healthy budget, and we will go through them. All right, awesome. So, first thing I have here is first point is not facing the truth, not budgeting, not sitting and talking about the finances because of, and you can fill out the because of. You know, most of the time I've talked to folks about budgeting, and I teach a finance class, and um and a lot of folks typically say, well, when when things get better, I'll do a budget. When it feels like uh don't you need to do a budget to get things better? Um any any comments on that, babe?

SPEAKER_02 2:32

Well, uh I think that's very common. Like it's very, very common. Yeah, it's usually a thing that people feel ashamed of, embarrassed about. And um, but are we talking about like singles with these numbers? Or are we talking about couples?

SPEAKER_00 2:54

Are you talking about the stats that I just mentioned? Yeah, those those are average stats. So my guess is it's for every human being per person. Okay. Yeah, not necessarily couples. Um, and I don't know what the stats for the couples are, but um you know, the the the talk the not facing the truth, the the issue typically there is like you said, the the fact that they don't want to be ashamed or face the reality like this is a mirror that's holding up.

SPEAKER_02 3:27

Well, it's also when you do face it, you also would have to face a change.

SPEAKER_03 3:33

Right.

SPEAKER_02 3:34

You know, that means you would have to think about your purchases, yeah. Versus like, oh yeah, since I don't know what's in my account, I don't know if I'm up or down, but I can I'm just gonna buy this. Like there's no second thought behind it. Yeah. And so what if you do the the budget and you lay out all your expenses, the first thing you're gonna see is oh my gosh, like something has to change.

SPEAKER_00 4:04

Yeah. And and what has to change, right? Like we still do our budget on a monthly basis. And does it take work? Yes. It takes work, it takes intentionality, it takes time, right? Yeah, and why are you smiling?

SPEAKER_02 4:19

No, because I was just thinking the other day, I was getting my nails done.

SPEAKER_00 4:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:23

And you texted me, we gotta talk about the budget. And then I was like, oh, okay. So I I took out my stuff because now I have to prepare for this meeting. Yes, and I have to make sure I recorded everything so then I can report it and make sure that I did my part. And so you don't fire me from my part of the budgeting.

SPEAKER_00 4:48

Yeah, it's hard to fire the resident, but it's it's easy to talk, talk to her about the things that she messed up on.

SPEAKER_02 4:56

Um I have to make sure everything is clearly justified.

SPEAKER_00 5:00

And yeah, I mean, it's it does take a little bit of humility to really face the truth, right? And I mean, we've gone over on certain things and we've had to really objectively look at it and go, okay, is this really important what we're doing? Is it important that we go hundreds of dollars over on eating out?

unknown 5:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:19

Right? And maybe sometimes it's justified. If it is, then we need to find a way to pay for it. Otherwise, you know, we don't we don't sit there and try to credit card these things.

SPEAKER_02 5:28

No, we don't. Um I've it's budgeting is one of those things where it's so simple. Yeah, it's so easy. Yep. And it's one of the like tedious things that you kind of need to do.

SPEAKER_03 5:45

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 5:46

Um, especially when you are starting off. Correct. And especially when you're trying to have a change in your in your finances.

SPEAKER_00 5:55

I'll I'll say one thing about budgeting, and then this really is a good segue to the number two point. But one thing about budgeting is we take what we actually did. Like I'll take the bank account, and yes, for those of you that are going seriously, this is a lot of work. Yes. If your finances is not all where it's supposed to be or you want it to be, then it does take this. But we actually take all our um activities for the month, right? And I literally, some bank accounts do it very easily for you. They're like, How much did you spend on dining out? Right. And you objectively look at that and go, is that realistic? Is that something that you know makes sense for me to do on a monthly basis? And I count my income, expenses, and and try to make sure expenses are lower than income. That's the simplicity. But the second point is very important because budgeting is not necessarily the thing that will help you change behavior, it will show you what you may need to change. But the number two thing that I have here is not realizing that behavior is driven by thoughts and beliefs. Majority of the time, your expenditure really is a set of behaviors that has been happening for more than what you would think has been happening. You probably have been going over on eating out for the last five years. Right? It's just come to a point where, okay, I need to do a budget. Let me check. Oh my God, it's over.

SPEAKER_02 7:23

And you know, I I used to, well, maybe a little bit still am, but like be flexible in my in my budgeting.

SPEAKER_03 7:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:35

As in, oh, it's only it's only like five dollars. I'll like I'll record it down next time, I'll put that in next time. But it's usually the little things, yeah, right? I remember I was so mad. What was it? Remember Whole Foods? Or no, bags. Like we we had to start paying for bags.

SPEAKER_00 8:00

Oh, yeah. Okay. What does this world come to?

SPEAKER_02 8:03

Okay, this is how strict he is, and I appreciate it now because I actually see like how it's the little things. It's 10 cents, okay, to buy a bag. And I would I went into Whole Foods and I got some like groceries. Like I meant to go in there for milk or eggs or something. Do I ever walk out with just eggs? And no, probably not. And so I come out with like fruits and everything, and I bought a bag for 10 cents, and he's waiting in the car, and you got so mad at me. Remember how mad you got?

SPEAKER_03 8:41

I did.

SPEAKER_02 8:41

It was one of our biggest fights.

SPEAKER_00 8:44

Because I mean, money does lead to fights. Um, and I frankly, 10 cents is not a big deal. But the point that I think you're trying to make is the little things catch up. It does. It's the it's the the devil's in the details, it's true because majority of the time when we've worked with folks on their finances, it's the things that they didn't realize. Like I went to buy four dollars of coffee, and maybe that was in your budget, but I also picked up an extra shot for 80 cents, and I also picked up um the banana nut bread, which is only 250, right? And you did that 10 times in the month, and that catches up. And a lot of folks don't realize that until you know they're looking at these things.

SPEAKER_02 9:31

Yeah.

unknown 9:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:32

Um, so thoughts and beliefs need an actual change in the heart, and it really needs to start with a desire to actually change something about your finances, and then being graceful to yourself, realizing that maybe I can't just go cold turkey on coffee, right? But I won't do it this many times a month. And that way you can at least try to control the behavior a little bit at a time. Um, the third is a big one for us, and I wrote down unity. And um, I wrote down unity because a lot of folks think that unity is um, well, I'll tell you what unity is to me. For us, it's really working in a team. So it's not that, oh, she messed up on the budget or she didn't record this or whatever, right? She went over on her budget. It's like, okay, wherever she's at, she's at. Wherever I'm at, I'm at. Let's work together in finding a solution. Like we are together in a team against the world versus the world is against us, and you and I are also against each other. So there's a war. Yeah. Right.

SPEAKER_02 10:42

Yeah. I think when we share the same goals, the same dreams, then we're able to kind of keep each other accountable too. Yeah. Right. I think for me, like when we first got married, and I literally closed my bank account, hopped onto yours, everything was shared, everything was open.

SPEAKER_03 11:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:02

And I managed my finances fine by myself without you, believed it or not. Okay. I know you're like, you've you've just been doing it for so long, you probably don't even know that I do know how to write a check, and I do know how to wait.

SPEAKER_03 11:17

You know what a check is?

unknown 11:19

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 11:20

Okay. You've just been doing it for so long that you just assume that I don't know how. But prior to you, I was taking care of my own finances. Okay. And so, but I remember like I closed all my account, hopped onto yours, and I think the fact that I trusted you to like take over and manage this, there was a pressure for you to do it right.

SPEAKER_03 11:44

Yeah. Right.

SPEAKER_02 11:46

It wasn't that, okay, like I don't know if I can trust him. And then it makes you kind of doubt. Like, I fully gave you the power to take over and be fully in control. And I think you're like, like, I don't want to mess this up, like, I don't want to mess up her credit. Like, I don't want to mess this up. I want to make sure that you do it right and you've been doing it well. That I actually don't do much.

SPEAKER_00 12:12

Yeah, I mean, it it was a sense of responsibility. But that that you bring up a really good point because we do have one account.

SPEAKER_02 12:19

We do.

SPEAKER_00 12:20

Right? We believe in one team, one dream. And uh of course, you know, there's separate accounts for other things, but like we we have everything's united. But I I think that one piece I want to bring up is a lot of folks sometimes, especially couples, right? This is really applicable to couples at this point, is that the husband or the wife may say, Well, you do the finances and just tell me what to do. And I almost feel like that's not working together.

SPEAKER_02 12:48

Yeah, it's not, it's not really working together. I that's not the team, and I don't, I personally feel like it's a it's a cop-out, like you just you don't take responsibility being told what to do, and then also um like being told what to do, it's like I'll just do it versus thinking long-term for it.

SPEAKER_00 13:14

Yeah, it's it's working together is different, like you have your roles, right? But a team is a team, like each two different people may have two different roles, but reality is you still have to work together for a common goal. Yeah, and that's what unity is. Um, the fourth point that I have, and then we'll recap and then we'll finish off. But the fourth point I have is making savings account a bill. Making savings account a bill. So what does that mean? So what we do with our finances is we actually give first. Um one of the um uh things that God recommends and urges us to do is to give, which means to donate our time, our our energy, our skills, and even finances, right? So we give first, we um and and the scripture recommends tithe, which is 10%. So we give first, but we also um and and the just simply said, as you sow, so shall you reap. That's why we give. And then we also pay our savings account as a bill. So we pay ourselves first. And that is a common trait that a lot of folks miss because they think, well, I'll just save after everything else is paid. And majority of the time you just don't get to it. So we flipped it, and I don't know where I learned that from, but that it has helped us immensely over the years because we make sure that savings, you know, we make a savings every month.

SPEAKER_02 14:46

I mean, that also motivates you and it brings encouragement, right, to what you are when when you look at your account, you're like, okay, I am paying myself for stewarding this too.

SPEAKER_00 15:01

Yeah, it certainly helps. I mean, for me, it's like I'm more committed to paying myself than actually the credit card company. Yeah. Right. Um, so I think I think that's a principle that that I think everybody should apply to their to their why do you think that's important? Why do I think that's important? Because one, because like I said, when I used to think that I'm just gonna get to it, I never got to it. Right? Months goes by. Oh, I'm gonna do it better next month. No, I think the best way to do it is to pay yourself first, and then you're forced to manage the rest. Right? Like like numbers-wise, let me give you what really what that means is that the moment you pay yourself first, let's say it's five percent, don't pick a random number, pick something that's manageable, even if it's 20 bucks a month. But if you start paying yourself first and it's say five percent, then you're living on the 95%, right? Then you're changing everything else to make sure that you live on the 95 because 5% is a bill to yourself.

unknown 16:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 16:07

That's a big change in mindset.

SPEAKER_02 16:09

Yeah, it is. Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:12

Um, five, handling the big expenses first. So um one thing we learned as I was getting creative with our budget, and typically what we do is we pull our budget up and we pray over it. But um, I don't know if you remember when we were saving for our first home, right? We sublased one of our units where we were renting. And it's because I noticed that we were paying all this money on rent out, and I was like, how do we quickly save a big amount versus trying to save 20 bucks on drinking coffee? Yeah, right. And so I we looked at our biggest expenses like cars and student loans and housing, and we sublased the housing and we refinance the car, and it saved hundreds versus saving 20 bucks or 30 bucks.

SPEAKER_02 17:02

It's a good trick.

SPEAKER_00 17:03

Yeah, so that was a quick one, and then the final two, and then we'll cap off with this, is uh minimizing the small expenses. You already talked about this. It's like the little things that add up. There's a terminology that says devil's in the details, that's actually true, right? Behavior sometimes creeps in, like these distracting behaviors, like I'll go pick up you know, something at the gas station, and you end up picking up five things, that's fifteen dollars, that's and you do that twenty times a month, that catches up.

SPEAKER_02 17:36

I think of like kids' toys, right? If they're if it's just mom, can I buy this? Line that's four dollars, and it lasted a day. And you do that how many more times because it's just four bucks? Yeah, you know, it's just this, and I much rather spend like on quality, long-lasting things than something that's just going to give you a temporary excitement. Yeah, like 4 day, especially and like this instant gratification, especially with kids. Yeah, right. This world is already so instant, and so helping them learn that like waiting for that bigger worth it toy. Like, where did we where we where did we go? Oh the museum up up in Denver, right? Noah had like five dollars. Okay, he really, really wanted to, you know, those where you put like a dollar and five dollars in, and then it like melts a penny, and then it like uh prints something like a coin out for you. Yeah, so he really I was like, Are you sure this is what you want to spend your five dollars on? He's like, Yeah, I really, I really do. Like, okay, all right, we put in that five dollars it and it's like a metal coin, right? And it's supposed to be like a souvenir or something like that. And he's like, Mom, what does this do? It's like nothing.

SPEAKER_01 19:14

Yes, he's like, you can stare at it, you can look at it, and he was like so disappointed that thought was what he's doing.

SPEAKER_00 19:23

So we use that every time now, and we're like, you remember the five dollars you spent to get a penny?

SPEAKER_02 19:29

Yes, and he I was like, it doesn't do anything, but you know, I think it's a cheap lesson for him, right? Five dollars, and now he knows the value of the five dollars. That's right, and so yeah, I was like, here it is, here it is, honey. He's like, Why does it do nothing? Yeah, nothing doesn't do anything. I bet you don't even know where it is right now.

SPEAKER_00 19:53

Yeah, no, yeah, and then the last point I have here is um it's a it's a new one, which is subscriptions. We live in we live in such a subscription-based world that um subscriptions have been creeping up to folks' bills that they don't even recognize it or realize it. Shouldn't say recognize, realize it. For example, do we really need 700 channels through five different entertainment streams?

SPEAKER_02 20:20

Yeah, but it's five dollars and you get five, seven hundred channels.

SPEAKER_00 20:23

700 channels, you can only watch one at a time. And reality is if you have kids, give up on TV life. Like this is it changes drastically changes. Um, and a lot of businesses are sub are pivoting to subscription models because it takes roughly an average of 13 months for somebody to cancel. A year later is when they realize, oh my God, I've been paying for this and I don't even use it. So um I would highly recommend, and a lot of subscriptions are nowadays hidden in cell phone bills. You go to Verizon and they'll add a few things for subscriptions and you won't even realize it. And you know, a lot of things, I mean, we recently signed up for a subscription and and um and and yeah, subscription is a big one. So anything to add before I recap?

SPEAKER_02 21:16

No, I think it's a really it is it is moving in in that direction almost every like if it's an educational app game for the kids, it's you know, five dollars a month, but then honestly they play it four times in that month. You know, and so it is and it's not and it's all automatic. So unless you're really tracking your every line item on your bank account, you probably don't even realize that it's only three dollars here and two dollars here.

SPEAKER_00 21:50

Yeah, but yeah. So let me recap. So first we talked about not facing the truth, second, we talked about, and that's not facing the truth, the truth is. Through budgeting. Two is not realizing that behavior is driven by thoughts and beliefs. Okay. So really you have to change what's going on inside of you that's driving the behavior. Three is unity. This is very prominent with couples, having unity. Four is making sure that savings is a bill. You pay your savings account on a monthly basis. You don't try to save, you pay it, first thing. Um, and along with that, giving, as you saw, social you re five, handling the big expenses. So looking at your uh rent or mortgage objectively, trying to see if there is any income potential there. Six is minimizing the small expenses, devils in the details, right? It's the extra things you pick up when you're out and you do that 10 times a month. And then last but not least, subscriptions. A lot of expenses are hidden in subscriptions.

SPEAKER_02 22:56

I don't think you missed anything.

SPEAKER_00 22:58

All right. Well, with that, we thank you for joining us. Please um like the videos, subscribe to our channel, and you know, before closing off though, I am curious if you are struggling or s finding something difficult with managing your finances, what are they?

SPEAKER_02 23:18

Because I'd be curious and see if something that that is something that we can answer or help you with. If it's, you know, I'm struggling with increasing my savings or um paying my bills on time or whatever that problem is, what is it that you are having a hard time with? Please leave it down in the comment. We'll be happy to try and tackle it um together. Okay. Uh, do you have anything else?

SPEAKER_00 23:44

No, that that was a good point. Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 23:46

All right, thanks.