Pillay Place
The Pillay Place Podcast is dedicated to helping individuals and families rediscover timeless principles that strengthen the foundation of everyday life. Rooted in faith and guided by traditional values, each episode explores the core pillars of family, finance, and mental health—three areas essential to living with purpose and resilience. In a world often distracted by quick fixes and fleeting trends, this podcast invites listeners to return to the enduring truths that cultivate strong relationships, sound stewardship, and emotional stability. Through authentic conversations, practical insights, and real-life wisdom, Rahul & Van Pillay will empower you to build a life that thrives—spiritually, financially, and mentally. Join us as we rediscover the power of faith-based living and unlock principles that not only stand the test of time but also equip you to face today’s challenges with confidence and clarity.
Pillay Place
Abiding: Why Effort Without Connection Always Runs Dry | Ep. 36
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There's a specific kind of tired that comes from trying really hard and still feeling like nothing's landing. This episode gets into why that happens — and it's not the answer you'd expect.
Rahul walks through a passage that reframes connection as the missing piece, not effort. Van takes it further, connecting it to the gut-brain link and why disconnection shows up physically as anxiety, restlessness, and that nagging sense something's off. "The best test to see what you're connected to is to see what fruit you have" — and once you start applying that, it's hard to unsee.
If you've ever felt like you're running on empty despite doing all the "right" things, this conversation might help you figure out why — and what to do about it.
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Are we remaining in unhealthy toxic relationships? Are we remaining in unhealthy habits? Are we remaining our unhealthy mindset?
SPEAKER_03The best test to see what you're connected to is actually to see what food you have.
SPEAKER_00There's more brain cells in the gut than there are in the actual brain. And it's a it's a long-distance relationship between the brain and the gut.
SPEAKER_03Whatever you produce is not going to be life-fulfilling. You will not be at your best.
SPEAKER_00You actually just you die. It's more than just believing though. Because you can believe in God, but then you don't have you you can still not connect.
SPEAKER_03A bind means choice, but that choice lasts a lifetime. Hi everybody, welcome back to the Pillet Place podcast, where we talk about faith, family, and finance. You know, here um at the Pillet Place, what we really share is our experience and what constitutes to an amazing life. And we've just realized that focusing on some of these practical aspects of faith, family, and finance helps you live an awesome, awesome, awesome life. So welcome back. Thanks for joining us. Today, we wanted to talk a little bit about uh what did Jesus mean? So Jesus in chapter 15 of the book of John in the Bible says this, and that, and it's I think it's one of the most profound verses that really tells us how to live our lives. But he says, Abide in me and I in you, for without me you can't do anything. But those that abide in me will bear much fruit or be successful or be fruitful or will have an amazing life. And and um so what did he mean by that? And um I'll turn it over to my beautiful wife.
SPEAKER_00Can you slow that down a little bit? Like what I am the vine. Can you can you actually just repeat it?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I can repeat it. So, so this is what the scripture says. John 15, verse 4 and 5. Abide in me and I in you. Branches, and I'm rephrasing a little bit so that we can understand, branches cannot bear fruit by itself. It actually has to abide in the vine. Same as you. You human beings must abide in me, because I'm the vine and you're the branches. He who abides in me and I in him bears much fruit, for without me you can't do anything.
SPEAKER_00Let's let's visualize this. Yeah, please. Okay. So the vine is like the big the the centerpiece of a plant. Right. Like I don't know, grapes or trees, whatever. Right. There's like that centerpiece. The vine acts there it's primary, it's the primary like pipeline to pumping water and nutrients from the deep root.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Okay. Now the branch acts as a I guess like a platform.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Like holding out the leaves to catch the sunlight.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_00Right. And so if you are to cut the branch, like more fruit will come out, but if you were to cut the vine, you cut off the nutrients.
SPEAKER_03From the root system.
SPEAKER_00From the root system.
SPEAKER_03And in this case, spiritually, the root system, that's God Himself. That's the Father.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Right. So Jesus is saying, I'm connected to the roots, and you're connected to me. If you're not connected to me, you're not going to be fruitful.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Right?
SPEAKER_00Because you're not getting what you're supposed to do.
SPEAKER_03Right, exactly. And and the concept here is very simple. Like, let's just say that you're trying to produce mango fruit, but you're supposed to be connected to a banana tree or an orange tree as a branch. Okay. So like you can't produce something that you're not supposed to be producing. This is what he means by this is that, yeah, you can in life, you have plenty of choices. You can do things without me. But without me, whatever you produce is not going to be life fulfilling. You will not be at your best.
SPEAKER_00You actually just you die. Like ultimately, think about it.
SPEAKER_03It's funny she mentions this because that's literally what the scripture says. It's that you actually don't have any source of life without me.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, because you're not getting nutrients. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So how do we know? How do you how do you how do you check if you're connected to the vine?
SPEAKER_03Well, first of all, your root system. Do you believe that God is real? Okay. And he sent Jesus to die for our sins and and was was raised again in three days so that we could be raised with him, meaning that we have a new source of life because we believe in Jesus. So your faith determines your root system. Okay.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_03Believing in God is the number one concept. The number one, it's it's the precursor to this, right? Okay.
SPEAKER_00As a matter of fact, I don't you think that if people it's more than just believing, though? Because you can believe in God, but then you don't have you you can still not connect.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, but in reality, yes, you're c you're exactly right.
SPEAKER_00Because you're looking at the relationship between the branch.
SPEAKER_03Correct vine and just Yes.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, wait. Yeah, you're looking at the relationship between the vine and the branch.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I agree with you. The the the you can't you can't let's put it this way. What I'm saying is this is the core foundation. The core foundation in you is you must believe in Jesus to be even connected to him. The second is exactly what he said, abide in me. So what does abide really mean? Okay, and I have a few things here. One is a choice. Abide means choice, which is choose him. Okay?
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_03All right. I'm in trouble, choose him. I'm happy, choose him. It's Monday, choose him. Right? It's like it's simply a choice, but that choice lasts a lifetime. Okay.
SPEAKER_00I have abide. Well, I think abide is to obey and to remain.
SPEAKER_01Agree.
SPEAKER_00Like you're remaining. Remaining? Why does that sound weird? Okay, but you're you're you're remaining.
SPEAKER_03You're grounded in what he's saying.
SPEAKER_00You're connected.
SPEAKER_03You're connected.
SPEAKER_00You're connected.
SPEAKER_03Right.
SPEAKER_00There is a relationship, but it also has a dependence. Like you are depending on the vine to give you the nutrients.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I I guess the the piece that I'm trying to highlight here is you can't do any of those things without the simple act of a choice. True. Because reality is you could choose to go a different path every day, right? So choice is critical. The the other piece that I like to bring up here is what I call the subtle promptings in your heart. Right? And let's not confuse this with indigestion.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_03Right? But subtle, thanks to our executive director. But thanks to, thanks to um, yeah. So subtle promptings. Like subtle promptings is essentially God has given us this inside honing device. Okay.
SPEAKER_00Is that the Holy Spirit?
SPEAKER_03That's the Holy Spirit, right? Like that's the spirit inside of us. So we we as human beings have a spirit, okay? We have flesh or hands, feet, and then we have mind, will, and emotions, right? That's where we make our choices from. And that is our soul, okay? Okay. So so reality is when you believe in Jesus, you can get all these things saved, but it starts from your spirit. So your spirit, right, is the thing that gives you these inner promptings, these subtle things in your heart. And I'll make the make it very practical. Sometimes when I am confused or I'm having difficulty about making a decision, right? Instead of racing to make a decision, I try to actually just get calm and be peace, right? To just have just let things go. And I just ask the Lord in my you know small voice, I'll say, Lord, help me with this. I need your help. And I will have an inner prompting inside of me, okay? A subtle prompting or my gut will tell me, do this or don't do anything. And that tells me that the answer is from his spirit. Yeah. Into me, saying, This is the instruction that I'm giving you. And to me, that is abide. So now you have some knowledge and wisdom about what gut conversations is, right? You've studied this.
SPEAKER_00I I have. And it's so cool to kind of see what I'm studying and then like spiritually how it's actually connected, right? So you said gut, you said this instinct almost.
SPEAKER_02That's right.
SPEAKER_00And we feel it here.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00We feel it, we physically feel it in our gut.
SPEAKER_02That's right.
SPEAKER_00It usually is not in the mind.
SPEAKER_02That's right.
SPEAKER_00Our gut is actually our second brain. It has more brain cells. There's more brain cells in the gut than there are in the actual brain.
SPEAKER_03Really? And can you reference this? Is there a study? Is there science behind this?
SPEAKER_00There is.
SPEAKER_03You can look at um I am forgetting the name of the I'm sure the Bible has some reference to it, but we're talking we're looking at earthly reference right now.
SPEAKER_00Uh we can look at Dan Siegel's work.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_00Okay. Um, he's a professor at UCLA. He talks a lot about that. Okay. Um and then there's a what is that book? I'm forgetting the name of it. But that's great.
SPEAKER_03I think Dan Siegel is good enough. I mean, that's great. So tell us about the gut.
SPEAKER_00So, like the gut actually has more brain cells than there are actually in the brain. Okay. It's the only other place in the body that has brain cells in the gut. Okay. Okay. And it's a it's a long distance relationship between the brain and the gut.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_00And so it's so interesting because there's also been studies found that people with an unhealthy gut are more prun um or more susceptible to anxiety, depression, OCD. And and I think it's because I think this is just me putting pieces together, is that they can't access their gut. Or that the messaging between the gut and the brain has blockages.
SPEAKER_03This is what a lot of folks refer to as energy.
SPEAKER_00Yes. That's what Dan Siegel talks about. Yeah. Is that it's this energy in them in between them.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. And the source of all energy, right? All positive energy that has happened in the world is God Himself. He created things, right? Like we we wouldn't have the ability to think, let alone have brain cells without God Himself.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Yeah. But I think that's where the Holy Spirit resides.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00In in our gut. I think that's that makes sense.
SPEAKER_03Well, the the precursor is if you choose Jesus, right? That's the piece that got disconnected when when sin entered the world. So we have to make this very clear. When sin entered the world, we got disconnected from this spiritual connection that we had with God. And the Bible calls it the tree of life. So we could not actually uh uh bring about life, right? And and and our physical bodies were around, but like it's it decays and it dies and decays. And reality is, but our spirit, our spirit lives on forever, right? Or dies forever. So in order for that to get lit up or get turned back on or live again, we need to choose Jesus, right? And in here it says, abide in me and I in you. If you choose me, I will choose, you know, I have no choice but to choose you because you chose me.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Yeah. The um when you're the like the branch, right? The branch grows out of the main vine vein vine, vein, vine, and they cannot survive on their own. Right. That's what the word is saying as well, right? Their entire existence depends on staying physically attached to the vine.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And um because even like fruit or like I guess tomatoes, like when we when we buy tomatoes, when it's connected to the vine, it stays fresh longer.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_00And so how important is that if we just think about how do we stay connected, mindfully connected to the source?
SPEAKER_03The other the other part of this is very intentional. Okay, right?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and it doesn't take much work other than a decision.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, that's exactly right.
SPEAKER_00Because then it just that's the nutrients just come.
SPEAKER_03I love the word decision because that's actually what I what like when I say choice, a choice or a decision is the key component that helps you remain where you are, right? It helps you remain in him, and he's saying, abide in me, and I in you. And the I in you is very important because what we have to realize is that God can't deny his own people, his own children. You can't deny that you gave birth to three kids. It is very easy to. Yeah, exactly. There's very it's very evident that those are your kids. They even look like you, right? So so point being is we are cre we are create part of creation. He created us. He cannot deny us. That's actually why he sent Jesus to die for us, so that he could be reconciled with us, reconnected. So He has He has no intention other than to be connected to us. So the moment that we choose Him is the moment that we actually get that connection back. And that is why the last part of the scripture says that those that those that abide in me will bear a lot of fruit. Right? Because I created earth to have a lot of fruit, not just in trees, but through people, through all the things that I do.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Right? This was my original intended purpose.
SPEAKER_00Um this kind of reminds me of the episode that we talked about, like source, our source.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_00Right. Because it if we make this like applicable, it's what are we remaining in?
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_00Are we remaining in, of course I have to bring it back to like mental health stuff, but like are we remaining in unhealthy toxic relationships? Are we remaining in unhealthy habits?
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_00Are we remaining our unhealthy mindset?
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_00Right? Are we even remaining an unhealthy job, an unhealthy job, unhealthy church, right? An unhealthy community, like whatever it is, you're just slowly dying. Like if we like remain in a dying source.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Right. It says a lot about who and what we are connected to. Because if we look at the relationship, and there's the relationship between the branch and the vine, so us and Jesus. Yes, right. But if we have the same concept applies to if you are remaining in a negative source.
SPEAKER_03Correct. And so Well, talk, let's just say toxic relationship. You will have fruits of the toxic relationship. You are depressed, you are, you know, frustrated, you have all these things, right? And it and what you're talking about leads to the test of who you are actually connected to.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Right? The best test to see what you're connected to is actually to see what fruit you have.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, you judge, what is that verse where you judge the fruit?
SPEAKER_03You judge the tree by its fruit.
SPEAKER_00You judge the tree by its fruit.
SPEAKER_03You even call the tree by its fruit. You don't say, you know, these tiny little pips to describe apple trees. You actually say apple trees, defined by the fruit.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_03Right? Banana trees. Like you it's it's fruit-based, right? So immediate fruits be of being connected to Jesus. Immediate fruit is you will have love, you will have joy, you will have peace, you will have patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
SPEAKER_01You might fruit of the spirit. Fruit of the spirit.
SPEAKER_03So you you might you might have you were presented. You were present in Sunday school. But point being is the immediate fruits are these because now you're connected to him. You could have the biggest chaos and storm around you. It doesn't matter because you're connected to him, and through him, the fruit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. And then the fruit transfers to all areas of your life.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_03I'm talking about mentally, I'm talking about emotionally. Somebody that's connected to love will definitely have more smile in their face, will definitely have more joy and happiness in their hearts.
SPEAKER_00This might be a little off topic, but I wonder. So you just mentioned like fruit of the spirit.
SPEAKER_03Yes.
SPEAKER_00It clearly says fruit of the spirit. Yes. How do we make that into the natural? How do we transfer the spirit to the natural love, joy, peace, suffering, love?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I think I think so. For me, these things, these are the things that I test. Like if I let's just say I am anxious.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_03Right? I immediately, not immediately, but most of the time, eventually go back to what my thoughts are and what I am leaning on and what the source of this is, right? And then I try, and I my one of my best prayers that I try to pray is I just simply ask the Lord for help. I need your help in this moment. And the moment a thought comes in that leads to love, joy, peace, kind of suffering is I know, okay, the Lord has spoken to me. This is the word he has given me. That's the gut connection, right? That's the inner promptings we talked about. And then as you live your life this way, all of a sudden, the fruit that he provides, the nutrients for, will start coming out in your life. You will see financial freedom. You will see health, right? You will see the life that you want to live just play out in front of you. Right? You can't contain the fruit. A branch that's connected to the vine will produce fruit.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it has to.
SPEAKER_03It has to. It's in it's in its idea. That's right. Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_00Like, I'm connected, but I don't, I don't, I'm not gonna take it. I'm tired of fruit.
SPEAKER_03Yes. No one ever says that I'm tired of fruit.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah. Um let's see. Do you have anything else?
SPEAKER_03No, I think that's good.
SPEAKER_00Okay, well, we're gonna close off this episode. Um, if you actually have questions or even um need a prayer or something like that, we would love to hear from you. Comments below. Comment below. And um, if you find this video helpful, please share and subscribe, and we'll see you in our next episode.