SPEAKER_03 0:10

Hello. Hello. Hello.

SPEAKER_00 0:13

Well, how are you feeling, first of all?

SPEAKER_01 0:15

Oh, I'm good. I'm good. Just uh getting the final final touches and final preparations made, but I feel I feel good. How did you feel when you were about to become a dad? What was that like for you?

SPEAKER_00 0:29

I just remember it was like real weird, like knowing that like because Abby was getting induced, that like we had you know, it was calm going to the hospital. You had enough time to think about like when I come back home, I'm gonna have a baby.

SPEAKER_01 0:47

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 0:48

Yeah, it's a really weird feeling. You know Milo was sudden. Like that that was just like we had to rush to the hospital. There's not a lot of time to think. With Sylvie, it was real, it was it was just such a crazy, like not crazy. It was crazy how calm it was, how casual it felt to like be like, all right, when we come back, we're going we're gonna go back with a baby.

SPEAKER_01 1:14

Did it feel like I don't know, not I mean, it since you had both experiences, did it feel like you wish you hadn't had so much time to like really weigh it out?

SPEAKER_00 1:29

I mean, I think our stay at the hospital was a lot more comfortable because we, you know, had time to be like, okay, let's pack all the stuff we want, let's download the TV shows we want to watch. But I think me and you are similar like this, where if I have too much time to think about something, I start freaking myself out. Exactly. So I so they both have pros, but I think ultimately the you know, when Abby was induced, that was probably an easier experience for me. It's just the lead up to it. Yeah, I mean the when you're at the hospital, just your whole perception of time gets I mean it's it's sort of not as I mean, th it's way more stressful than this, or just a a lot more uh crazy than this, but it is sort of similar to like taking a long international flight. And that's probably the closest thing I can come up with. Um that it feels like, where you're like the thing is the weird thing is like it's a lot of also stopping and starting, you know, like one minute you'll have to do so much stuff all of a sudden, like, okay, move uh, you know, you like say the baby's about to be delivered, or like even contractions and things, like suddenly you have to like hop on your feet and help out. But then there'll be like all this weird downtime. Like that stuff. That's like when I'd be like, get me out of here. I just want to go home and take a shower. Exactly. And you start getting I feel like this is pretty common too. You start getting like real indignant about the hospital. You're like, we don't need to be here anymore. They they can let us go. Why aren't they letting us go?

SPEAKER_01 3:12

Did you have to stay for a while? Because I've been everything I've been told is that like we really only have to stay there for like twenty four hours.

SPEAKER_00 3:18

I mean I think for us it was like a day and a half. Um maybe two days. Yeah, I like sort of the that to me I mean to me as the guy. Right. The hardest part was after the baby was born and just hanging around the hospital, and you are so useless, like at that point. You're like, you know, you can like give encouragement and hold the baby when she's arms are getting tired, but it's like you got nothing to do, but you also it's like a little you you don't feel like like it just optically, you're like, well, I can't just be on my phone like scrolling on Reddit this whole time. Right, right. But I mean, I think at a certain point it got the better of me, and I I probably did end up just scrolling on Reddit. Oh, you know what? I think uh one of the ways to distract myself was make a nice playlist for Abby, like while we're in the home.

SPEAKER_01 4:16

I think I remember you doing that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:19

That was just a nice like way to you know stay present in the room while also um you know not dozing off or just brainlessly scrolling on my phone. It's like, okay, this is doing something for the baby, or Abby at least. But then I mean the second one, that was a lot more casual. Like not casual, not in terms of getting to the hospital, that part was crazy, but after afterwards, after the baby was born, I was like, I he was like, You can just go home and take a shower if you want. Which would have seemed so insane to me the first time. Oh wow but the second time I was like and then I talked to other dads and like who had two kids. They're like, Oh yeah, I did that. It was it's like so gross in the hospital. Yeah, it's like so dry there. That's the other part that feels like you're taking a long flight. Like uh, you know, we've delivered in two hospitals, one in LA and one in New Jersey, and both of them were so dry, which just contributes to how gross you feel. Like you're all oily, you haven't slept. And when you come home and take that shower and maybe get like a half an hour nap, it's gonna feel like you've gotten eight hours of sleep.

unknown 5:35

That's awesome.

SPEAKER_01 5:36

I mean that that part I'm looking forward to.

SPEAKER_00 5:39

Yeah. Trust me, like if everything goes to plan, like the difficulty increases like as you are getting used to everything. You know, it's not you don't get like thrown into the chaos all of a sudden.

SPEAKER_01 5:55

Although I'm sure a day comes where you're just like, oh, this is different, and like I don't fully know how or how to deal with it.

SPEAKER_00 6:05

Yeah, but then you just go on YouTube.

SPEAKER_01 6:08

Right. Yeah, it's true. That's true.

SPEAKER_00 6:11

Yeah, so I don't know if you saw but the sleep person we we recommended. I don't know if you got this info on her, but she got canceled in a way that like uh I heard. Yeah, because she donated to the Trump campaign.

SPEAKER_03 6:24

Yeah, yeah, that's what I heard.

SPEAKER_00 6:26

I mean, how so you've watched it, how much do you give a fuck about that?

SPEAKER_01 6:30

Zero.

SPEAKER_00 6:31

Zero or negative one.

SPEAKER_01 6:33

Yeah, or or negative one, right. It's zero or it's in the negative. Also, even if she hadn't been, you could obviously tell that she was. Like I knew the second I saw her, I'm like, oh okay, well, I I know who this is. Like I knew exactly who this is.

SPEAKER_00 6:48

It's true.

SPEAKER_01 6:49

She looked like fucking every fox, you know, whose correspondent history, you know, amalgamated. So yeah, no, there's I had no uh, you know.

SPEAKER_00 6:59

No, you know what's funny when when Abby and I watch her, because we watched it all again from Milo. And the thing I the thing I would always say about her, um, the taking care of babies lady is uh I could just see like like if someone knew her, like personally, they'd be like, oh, she was such a bitch in high school. Totally. She really has that vibe.

SPEAKER_01 7:23

A hundred percent talks like that, yeah, uh, acts like that. Like when she brings out the when she does like bringing out people from behind the camera, I was like, oh, nobody on this set likes her. Like there's just there's no way that she is a fun talent. But she clearly knows her shit, and that's all I care about.

SPEAKER_03 7:41

Yeah, she would have to do all the things.

SPEAKER_01 7:42

I don't think this is all opinion. This is all opinion. I just want to say this is all opinion. None of this is fact.

SPEAKER_00 7:49

She would have to do, yeah, right. We don't actually have proof that she was a bitch in high school.

SPEAKER_01 7:54

Zero proof. I'm sure she was absolutely lovely. She probably has never worked for Fox. She may or may not have donated to Trump.

SPEAKER_00 8:00

But oh no, I think that has been proof.

SPEAKER_01 8:02

I think that is fact. That could be fact. That could be fact.

SPEAKER_00 8:05

Well, it'll all be fine. It'll all be all right. Thanks. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:09

I think it's gonna be fine. I'm very fortunate. We're both very fortunate that uh, and by we, I mean you and me, like that we have very supportive like families and very supportive communities and friend groups. And, you know, if I was doing this alone, like if I I mean by alone, I mean even just me and my wife, and my wife, of course, doing the the lion's share of the stuff, especially at the very beginning, uh I'd feel a million times worse. So I I I actually don't feel I don't feel in that's not the part of this that is like daunting. It's actually more of like I find my mind jumping to like and this is gonna sound insane. I so I I fully recognize this, but if you want an actual like deep dive into my psyche, it's not this is not the part that I'm worried about. It's it it will, of course, have its challenges, but you know, I'm I'm willing to do whatever. It's jumping ahead to when my kid is 12 and is like trying to invite his friends over and none of them wash their hands. Like that's the part that I'm like, okay, that is gonna be my reality. 12 years from now, put it on the calendar, my kid and his groupy friends will all be coming home from school and touching every group in my house.

SPEAKER_00 9:25

I'll I'll easily solve that problem for you. You know how in a lot of public spaces they'll have those like instant hand sanitizer things. Yeah, I got the front door. That's gonna be.

SPEAKER_01 9:38

Yeah, because it's institutional. I mean that would be that you get you get arrested for that.

SPEAKER_00 9:42

But just do it, and then you're not gonna be thinking about it. I'm going to. Yeah, or just think you will do it now, and by the time your kid turns 12, you'll probably be like, that was crazy that that's the thing I was worried about.

SPEAKER_01 9:56

It's true. Yeah, I uh yeah, I totally recognize that it's like, but it's also like I know because I work with so many kids that when you're when a kid is between the ages of like 10 and even let's just say 18, because at 18 it's a different, you know, it's it it's much your world is much different. Um like that's that's just those are just hard years for everybody. Like that's that's a universal challenge in time.

SPEAKER_00 10:21

But again, I mean, right, I'm not um obviously not there, but I just feel like nothing for cool as shit between the ages of day and ages. Well, what if my kid's not cool? Oh my god, I wouldn't know what to do. I don't know how to put in a not cool.

SPEAKER_01 10:36

You're his name is Milo, so he's obviously gonna be cool as shit. Yeah. And Sylvie is gonna be totally fine. She's gonna be a little bit more. She's already I can easily see her being yeah, I can easily see her being like an incredibly popular kid.

SPEAKER_00 10:49

I mean, yeah, it's like I t I think I told you for for her birthday last year, she wanted the members of Sonic Youth to be tattooed to her arm for her birthday. I swear to God.

SPEAKER_03 11:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:04

So Lisa Like she expressed that as a concept, like I want a tattoo of Sonic Youth.

SPEAKER_00 11:11

Yes. Dude. So it's like, yeah, no, the thing I'm worried about, and it's gonna happen because it happens to every parent, is like, yeah, there's gonna be a time she becomes way cooler than me. And then it's like all the stuff I've introduced her to that she likes, it's like all of a sudden that stuff is so uncool. Exactly. But yeah, I mean, I just feel like I just feel like if if you're doing everything alright, like the difficulty level just raises as you're becoming a more and more comf you know, comfortable as a parent.

unknown 11:45

Right.

SPEAKER_00 11:46

So it's like right, you're worried, you know, it's I mean, the funny thing is you're thinking about your kid at eleven or twelve, what what age did you say?

SPEAKER_01 11:53

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right between like ten and ten and eight or something.

SPEAKER_00 11:57

Uh I was thinking about all that stuff, and then you realize like I know they say it goes so fast, but you realize actually like how slow it all goes. Like when when it comes to like milestones. Not not in terms of like this is so awful and how slow it's going, but you're like like, yeah, when they start like uh crawling, like, oh my gosh, it felt like an eternity ago that he couldn't crawl.

SPEAKER_01 12:24

Well, it's because I'm sure you're awake for a lot more of it. Like you're like you're watching your kid almost in real time because you're getting, you know, reality.

SPEAKER_00 12:38

You don't notice in high school or middle school, maybe, like how you don't notice your friends getting taller, right?

SPEAKER_01 12:44

Yes, exactly. Exactly. Right.

SPEAKER_00 12:46

You're just doing it in real time with and then you know, someone or you don't notice yourself getting taller, and then you see like a relative you haven't seen in a while. Like, oh my gosh, you how much did you grow in the last month?

SPEAKER_01 13:02

I think for you though, because you were actually being told Yeah, you were a freak and you were just constantly being told by the girls in the grade below you how much they wanted to fuck your brains out. That that probably made you hyper conscious of, oh yeah, I'm tall as shit.

SPEAKER_00 13:21

So it's comments like that this is a good transition point. It's comments like that that have really made me realize we there's no there's no there's no show without you. So we're not we can't we're not gonna get a replacement. We're just gonna start it back up when you're ready. Especially now like that you know the show has I don't know if popular is the right word, but like a lot more people are listening. It's grown. Yeah, no, there's no question. It's grown. So I've been getting so much feedback, and it's just like it's just made it so clear. Like the show is you.

SPEAKER_01 14:02

Like it's not true. The show is not me. The show is the three of me.

SPEAKER_00 14:06

It really is. Okay. That's fair. The show is the three of us, and if one of us is missing, maybe that'll work for an episode, but it wouldn't work for it wouldn't work for, you know, a month or even more than one episode.

SPEAKER_01 14:26

No, I think it could. I think if you have a clear game plan on how to approach, let's just say the month where it's it's the two of you, if you're filling it with if you're filling your days with the lights, uh you could absolutely make it work. There's no question.

SPEAKER_00 14:44

I don't even have the lights. What does that mean?

SPEAKER_01 14:46

I mean, if you if you just look if you fill the show with like nice one interesting thing.

SPEAKER_00 14:52

I think maybe we just we just came up with our first merch item. Fill your days with the lights.

SPEAKER_01 15:00

I mean, I all right, yeah. Listen, if you I think it's from something. I don't think I I don't think I made that up. Yeah, I think it's if you Google Still Your Days with the Lights, I I feel like it is from something. But look, if I just made that up, I mean, God bless, non-existent God bless, then please merch it. Please please get that on a t-shirt and get a shop up. That would be a cool way. And I could I'd I would easily want to spend my free time in in child rearing putting together a merch shop for this podcast. I have another merch idea, which is it's pepperoni nipples, but you you do a Gaussian blur on.

SPEAKER_00 15:44

So are they edible or I mean what? No, no, no. That's on the shirt. Like you have like oh, so shit, I think yeah, it's the text on the shirt.

SPEAKER_01 15:55

And it's like, and you can have a guy like a hot guy with big pepperoni nipples, and it just says above it, or you know, I mean the placement to be determined, but it just says pepperoni nipples and or have the nipples, have the pepperoni nipples in the place that you're that a person's nipples would be.

SPEAKER_00 16:14

Well, you know what? I think I think if we come back, I think, you know, or when we come back. I have so many ideas for when we come back. But maybe one of those ideas is having on the show and asking him to sponsor our pepperoni nipple t-shirts.

SPEAKER_01 16:29

I mean, that would be incredible. I I am again again would be like the like if we get him, that has to be like the last episode of the show. That is the dead eyes. Like, that is getting Tom eyes.

SPEAKER_00 16:41

That's getting Tom Hanks on. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:43

That's getting Tom Hanks.

SPEAKER_00 16:44

So No, I think there's I think there's actually bigger guess, honestly. Really? I mean, he's I mean, imagine if we had Rabbi Field on. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:53

I mean, I think like I like almost I I mean, I can't imagine that. Like who won't be on the show, I guarantee it. I'm imagining him be on the show.

SPEAKER_00 17:05

Some people have told me that he actually probably would be on it. But then, but then what do we do? Do we talk about if he had sex with Mrs. Kagle? And also, and if he says yeah, well, yes, and we'll ask him how did that work? Like, really like get into follow-up. Yeah, because yeah, we it's just hard to imagine how that would have worked. Yeah, I think he would be down for that.

SPEAKER_01 17:26

Yeah, I think oh, yo, for sure. I could see him possibly jeopardizing his incredible neurosurgeon career for uh a tell-all about about Mrs. Cagle.

SPEAKER_00 17:38

Well, I see I did the real irony is I feel like we really cracked the show in that last episode. We just figured out like have a bunch of people on. Yeah. And we discuss a topic, right?

SPEAKER_01 17:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:51

And then we do something kind of crazy at the end.

SPEAKER_01 17:53

Uh agreed. I I I totally agree. I think that is the formula.

SPEAKER_00 17:57

Yeah. So like an episode I was thinking we could do is like have have a bunch of people on who had in school suspension.

SPEAKER_01 18:07

Oh, that could be a the bad boy episode.

SPEAKER_00 18:09

I love that. And maybe we I see the thing is I don't know what's what the crazy thing, you know, it's gotta be like a form form.

SPEAKER_01 18:18

Oh, I think the crazy context is we Yeah, I think we do like like what would an in-school suspension you play the role of like uh, you know, David Green or whoever like was running the suspension. And it's like the you know, the boys plan like some kind of prank or some kind of like, you know, like reenactment, a reenactment of the in-school suspension. Like, what was that like?

SPEAKER_00 18:40

Or we could like do something where we say like we gotta record record some room tone and everyone has to be quiet and just sit there with your own thoughts, and we get mad at anyone who talks. And like almost like sort of forcing them to do another in school suspension without them knowing.

SPEAKER_01 18:59

Oh, oh, I like that. It would be really good for podcasting. Yeah, exactly. Lots of silence. There's lots of silence. I mean, I could think of one person that would love that episode.

SPEAKER_03 19:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:16

Oh, Gary Wands. Gary Wands. That's that's a Gary Wand dream episode. He just tr he just turns it on its 30 minutes of room time.

SPEAKER_00 19:26

Also, the other episode, I think that I don't think I told you this one. The other episode idea that I think would be really good is like all my friends in middle school, it would just be like the people would have to be cool with coming on, but like all my friends in middle school, all all my like best friends in middle school, I feel like I stopped being as close with them because they all started smoking weed. And like smoking weed was always really scary for me. So we have them on and we all get high. And not you, because I know you won't. And you're gonna have a newborn. And you like make us do things like the SNL game.

SPEAKER_01 20:05

Oh, that would be awesome.

SPEAKER_00 20:07

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:08

I g I it's there's listen, I'm telling you, you could run the show for four episodes without me. I I I know that.

SPEAKER_00 20:15

But I I don't want to.

SPEAKER_01 20:17

Okay, that's that's I would never force you to do anything you don't want to do.

SPEAKER_00 20:20

Yeah, yeah. Adam's gonna be so pissed. Adam wands is gonna be so pissed when we actually start doing t-shirts as a serious thing. Because he thinks that that would be a good thing. I think just any well, I think no, I think anytime we we have like lofty ideas, he's like, okay.

SPEAKER_01 20:40

Yeah, um, well, I mean, how lofty is it? It's not like we have to like get a factory in Bangladesh to make t-shirts these days.

SPEAKER_00 20:46

No. I mean, you know what? They should be Land's end shirts.

SPEAKER_01 20:52

Oh, well, I I just figured that was a given. Right? Wasn't that the uniform pumpkin? 100%. No, they've gotta be collared, they've gotta be collared Land's Not shirt. In fact, if the shirt, yeah, if the shirts are not like to code for Bethophila, well, they're gonna have writing on them. Yeah. No, no, no. But imagine if you have, imagine if we made shirts that said Bethylla on them so that they could be used at Bethophila and then somehow very sneakily throw in a bunch of rabbi field notes.

SPEAKER_00 21:23

They're like almost imperceptibly the same uniform that like they would wear at BT now. And then you and only if you look like roll up close do you see that it says like instead of Bethlehem, it says Rabbi Field Notes.

SPEAKER_01 21:39

It's like the ghost penises on t shirts.

SPEAKER_00 21:42

Yeah, right, right, exactly. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 21:45

I gotta go, man. I love you.

SPEAKER_00 21:47

I love you too, and you're gonna do great tomorrow. It's all gonna be fine. It's just you're just gonna be uncomfortable. You're just gonna be uncomfortable and antsy for like a day or a day and a half.

unknown 21:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:58

And then you're gonna get home and you're gonna be like So what kind of white noise machine did you get?

SPEAKER_01 22:06

Did does Sylvie still use one?

SPEAKER_00 22:09

Yeah. Yeah. I know. There is sometimes like a concern though, like, oh, does this mean they're gonna be like addicted to it? I want this baby to not be addicted to stop that. There's no addiction. No. I mean, I think she even says it in taking care of babies. It's like if you really are worried about them getting addicted to the white noise, then you just as as when things like level out and everyone's comfortable with the sleep habits, you just slowly turn down the volume every night. One notch at a time. And then then if you want to take it out of there, you take it out of there.

SPEAKER_01 22:40

I remember she said that, and the other thing I definitely remember her saying was no immigrants.

SPEAKER_00 22:46

Yeah, build a wall. Build that wall. That would be great if if we didn't come back, and that was the last the last line set on this podcast.

SPEAKER_01 22:56

Build that wall.

SPEAKER_00 22:58

All right.

SPEAKER_01 22:58

Everything that was just stated was an opinion, and uh we are incredibly pro-immigration. We all come from immigrants. Even if you came on the Mayflower, you're an immigrant. Unless you are a Native American Flash Indian, uh, you are an immigrant. So please just remember that. And uh we love you all.

SPEAKER_00 23:18

Wow, you're already becoming like corny now that you're becoming a dad.

SPEAKER_01 23:23

I I just I I just I felt very uncomfortable with still missing.

SPEAKER_00 23:31

I mean the fact that you're the fact that you're well, first of all, I don't know when you said the wall thing, but uh but uh yeah, the fact that you are uncomfortable with jokes has shown real growth and maturity.

SPEAKER_01 23:45

I am uncomfortable. I'm comfortable with being canceled for that. I'm totally comfortable being canceled for the many other things that you said that should get me canceled, just not that one.

SPEAKER_00 23:56

I'm so excited to see you as a dad. You're gonna be so fun as a dad.

SPEAKER_01 24:01

If I can be like you as a fun dad, then mission accomplished.

SPEAKER_00 24:04

If my kid is asking for tattoos of John Coltrane and that is your version of it, it's done my job. Yeah. All right, love you, buddy. And yeah, text me. Text me if you have any any questions or at any time of day. Love you.

SPEAKER_02 24:46

How's it going? It's going okay. How's it going with you? It's it's going great. It's going great. Uh, I just want to say that I love you, and I want you to do the podcast without me.

SPEAKER_03 25:02

Well, I mean, yeah, okay, fine. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 25:08

Talk to you later, man. Bye.

unknown 25:10

Bye.

SPEAKER_02 25:22

On the next episode of Rabbi Field Notes.

SPEAKER_00 25:25

And Jake, I know you've grown past Gary's words, but I do think it would be a good idea to just have him on so the two of you can come to a place of understanding.

SPEAKER_04 25:39

Oh, the old man! What the fuck is the old guy doing? I gotta be honest, you know. Uh I don't maybe that's why uh the rabbi puts you in a small pool.

SPEAKER_00 25:51

That is one of the sickest burns I've ever heard.

SPEAKER_04 25:55

I don't know the name of the fucking pistol.

SPEAKER_00 25:59

Uh although you're taking over.

SPEAKER_04 26:04

To be honest, Adam, I think I talked more to my topical thing when you talk to Ariel.

SPEAKER_02 26:09

Was that what you was that what you said, Gary? You don't want to shut the fuck up.

SPEAKER_00 26:14

Please don't don't bring that up.

SPEAKER_04 26:16

No, no. I was putting on my office the other day and I ran across a copy of the Jewish times. Okay. Oh, wow. Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_00 26:29

Well, Gary, maybe we kind of do an our normal episode, and you just chime in if you think Jake is talking too much.

SPEAKER_02 26:38

So I definitely have a lot of great memories at at BT of Mr. Johnson. Can we talk about Mr. Johnson for a minute? Uh oh it's already happened. It's already happened. It's already happened. Okay, okay. Okay, okay. We could get into ZXX, which is that was a Zidex. We could absolutely get into Zidex. Wow. The greatest Judea story. Doctor, did you ever buy anything at ZX?

SPEAKER_04 27:14

No, what's that?