S1E27: Phantom of the Falls

This week in Moonhaven Falls:

The Phantom of the falls targets the Crystal network

Crossroad Chronicles speaks with 'Arnie' about his youth gym

Morwin gives the latest news from the realms dungeons

Ignis is having a bit of a snit about his latest challengers

and

Audrick has a revelation

Transcript

Ad- Moonhaven Guard, Sheild branch

SPEAKER_02 0:04

Good morning, Moonhaven Falls. This is Audric Cashmere broadcasting to you on the Crystal Network. If the sound of my voice is a bit more um resonant than usual this morning, it's because I'm currently sitting on a single wooden crate in the middle of a completely empty studio. You see, I arrived at work four hours ago to find that the Phantom of the Falls has decided to target the voice of the people. And they didn't just take a few trinkets. No, my friends, they took everything. The velvet curtains that dampened the echoes, gone. The carefully reinforced guest chairs, vanished. My personal collection of fountain pens, a mahogany desk, even the rug from the foyer. All gone. But here's the chilling part, Moonhaven. My broadcasting crystal. The heart of the station, as it were. It's usually kept in a magically reinforced lead-lined safe that requires a three-part incantation and two separate people to open it. This morning, I found that safe standing wide open. The crystal hadn't been stolen, thank goodness for that. No, no! It had been very carefully removed and placed on the bare floor in the exact center of the room. As though to say, I want you to be able to tell the world what I did. Our thief is no longer hiding, ladies and gentlemen. They are now performing. They are mocking the town guard, the Crystal Network, Alara Meadowlight, and every single one of us who thought that the falls protected us. Alara Vancroft, the town guard chief, spent the morning here examining the safe. And even she's at a loss. There is no sign of forced entry. Nobody saw a wagon hauling furniture across the bridges. There have been no reports of particularly large birds in the area recently, no magical flares, no anomalies, nothing. I'm at a loss, Moonhaven. I'm broadcasting to you now from the ghost of a station. And it's a lonely feeling, listeners. To whoever's doing this, you have our attention. You have our belongings, but you haven't silenced us. Oh no, not yet! I will continue to report, even if I have to do it standing on my head in an empty hallway. Now, we will be right back after a brief silence, because I no longer even have the bells to ring for the transition. Do you believe in protecting the innocent? Do you possess an unwavering resolve and a dedication to the safety of the community?

SPEAKER_00 2:54

Then the Moonhaven Guard Shield Branch needs you. We are the steadfast protectors of Moonhaven, the first line of defense against threats, both within and outside of our walls.

SPEAKER_02 3:06

As a member of the Shield Branch, you'll be trained in defensive tactics, close quarters combat, and the art of maintaining order. You will stand shoulder to shoulder with your fellow guardsmen, forming an unbreakable wall against those who would do harm. We offer rigorous training, fair compensation, and the satisfaction of knowing that you are making a tangible difference in the lives of your fellow citizens. If you are strong, disciplined, and possess a selfless spirit, we encourage you to join our ranks and become a vital part of Moonhaven security.

SPEAKER_03 3:38

Enlist today at the Moonhaven Barracks located near the Western Gate. Speak with Sergeant Bram Stonefist for more information.

SPEAKER_00 3:45

Serve with honor, protect with courage, join the Moonhaven Guard Shield Branch.

SPEAKER_02 3:53

Good afternoon to you, O Guardsmen and Private Eyes. A mischievous grin to the Kins Club and the Street Hawkers. A jaunty salute to the merchants, the liegemen, and my fellow citizens from all walks of life here in the Lost Realms. Welcome back to Crossroads Chronicles, the show that delves into the vibrant and often unexpected lives of the folk who call the Lost Realms home. Today we have a guest who's proving that big dreams come in all sizes. He swapped the solitude of the forge for the bustling energy of the gym, inspiring a new generation of pint-sized heroes. Please welcome the sensational, the Herculan, the one and only halfling bodybuilder, Arnold Arnie Bronswick!

SPEAKER_01 4:33

Greetings, dear listeners. It is an honor to be here on Crossroads Chronicles.

SPEAKER_02 4:38

Bronwick, your new venture, the Mighty Might's Gym, has taken the realm by storm. From eager young apprentices here in Moonhaven to the aspiring adventures down in the crossroads of Wakin, everyone is speaking about your unique approach to heroism. What inspired you to open a youth gym for potential heroes of all things?

SPEAKER_01 4:58

Ho ho ho. Well, for many years my life was about the personal gain, you know. Pumping iron, sculpting muscle, achieving the peak, halfling physique. But I noticed something a lack of proper foundational training for the younger folk. All of these eager adventurers rushing off without the core strength, the discipline, and well, the brawn that they needed.

SPEAKER_02 5:24

So you saw a gap in the market, so to speak, for pint-sized powerhouses?

SPEAKER_01 5:28

Exactly. My heart ached to see such good potential wasted. Young stars with spirit, but lacking the structural integrity for the longer adventuring career.

SPEAKER_02 5:40

And is that where Crossroads Chronicles came in? I do understand a particular episode played a significant role in your shift from a personal trainer to a youth mentor.

SPEAKER_01 5:50

Indeed it did. I was taking a rest day, catching up on some local broadcast. A rather insightful invention, these crystals, and I found an episode about a training dungeon.

SPEAKER_02 6:02

Kind of hard to forget the tale of the Gauntlet of Growth, yes.

SPEAKER_01 6:06

Hard to forget? It was a revelation! There is a dungeon! A dungeon that is perceptive enough to see a need for training aspiring heroes. It hit me like a fully loaded barbell!

SPEAKER_02 6:19

It did. Um What part about that tale rang your bell, so to speak?

SPEAKER_01 6:26

If a dungeon, a stationary intelligence concerned first and foremost with its own growth and development, can see such a stunning lack that it created a uh an easy mode for beginners? How lacking must the challenges have been.

SPEAKER_02 6:43

So the gauntlet's throwing down the uh gauntlet was a personal challenge to you? It's a bit of a philosophical lift.

SPEAKER_01 6:54

But is it really? Dungeons are all about well-crafted challenges. For it to tone down the difficulty universally is almost insulting. It opened my eyes to the fact that smaller barbeers and bigger dreams for others can be a thing. The story was a catalyst. It allowed me to shift my focus from building my body to building the body of future heroism.

SPEAKER_02 7:18

That future does look strong indeed. Your training philosophy at Mighty Mights often emphasizes not just physical strength, but courage. Teamwork, problem solving, uh themes that clearly stem from your inspiration. Can you tell us a little bit about your training process? Does your halfling stature influence your methods?

SPEAKER_01 7:39

Oh yeah, my halfling stature absolutely gives me a unique perspective. I understand the challenges of being vertically challenged in a world built for the taller folk. I have been underestimated to others to grin many, many times. But that just means I made sure to have our equipment custom-sized. I have both larger and smaller than standard humanoids. Our drills emphasize agility and cleverness, every bit as much as the raw power. And the enthusiasm of these younglings is a very powerful motivator when you see deleted faces light up after mastering a new lift or a difficult obstacle course. Additionally, we've recently reached out to Flickwing Meadowlight, proprietor of the slightly infamous Petalin Perry, who I believe you have spoken to before, to pass on promising students for advanced technique training once we have a decent base.

SPEAKER_02 8:33

Mighty Might's aims to sculpt not just muscles then, but also character. Well, what message do you hope your young heroes take away from the time at the gym?

SPEAKER_01 8:43

That true strength isn't just about how much you can lift, bro. It's about how much you can overcome. That even if the world sees you one way, your potential may lay waiting to be unleashed. And that sometimes the most unexpected sources can spark the most powerful of transformations. If a dungeon can figure out how to tone things down, I can figure out how to bulk things up.

SPEAKER_02 9:07

Well said, Arnie. You've shown us that inspiration can be found in the most surprising corner of the realms. Arnie Bronwick, thank you so much for sharing your incredible story with us here on Crossroads Chronicles, and I wish you continued success with the Mighty Might's Gym.

SPEAKER_01 9:21

The pleasure was all mine. May your own past be filled with inspiring encounters, and your gates be plentiful.

Dungeon Delvers Report

SPEAKER_02 9:31

And that was the inspiring Arnie Bronwick, proving to everyone that challenges were meant to be overcome. You are listening to Crossroads Chronicles here on the Crystal Network. Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. This is More and Bright Scene, bringing you the Dungeon Delvers Report. Let's check in on two vastly different but equally deadly locales. First off, the Blackwood Keep and the Misty Coast. That old sprawling ruin is back on the list. For the last three months it was technically cleared, thanks to the efforts of the Silver Spears Mercenary Company, who purged the place of most major race and sentient shadows. But alas, darkness does not sleep. Reports confirm a definite resurgence in lower tier incorporeal horrors. While the major specters have not returned, the keep is now filled with dozens of restless spirits and malevolent poltergoists making a simple passage treacherous. The Spears Return Expedition? A partial success, only managing to secure the ground floor before being forced out by the sheer number of spectral annoyances. It's a gold mine for easy ghost dust and ethereal components, but make sure to bring holy water and expect a frustratingly slow crawl. Up next, the shifting sands dig in the southern continent. The recently unearthed temple complex out in the dunes has finally been mapped out and temporarily secured. The Oasis Explorers Guild has posted a successful expedition, not for treasure, but for cartography. They have also confirmed the main temple is mostly cleared of the colossal burrowing scorpions that inhabited it, but the primary threat, now being gone, a major discovery has been made. They have found a secondary, smaller chamber that was sealed off. They could not open it, but they did confirm the presence of a unique monster type inside, some form of electrified scarab swarm. And of course, for the big payoff, the Archduke's Royal Library has just placed a colossal bounty on a unique monster, the Elpha Scarablord that commands the swarm in the sealed chamber of the Shifting Sands Dig. They want the specimen intact. They are, however, offering 15,000 gold pieced bounty for its capture and safe delivery. It is an absurd price, folks, suggesting the Scarablord's magic is valuable far beyond measure. You will likely need serious excavation tools, and probably lightning proof defences, but the big payoff is massive. So good luck on cracking that tomb. Finally, we have an urgent travel advisory for the northern plateau sector. Effective immediately, the northeastern reaches of Bahomatz Plateau are designated as a no-travel zone. The northwestern sections are now listed as travel strongly discouraged. Long-range scouts have in fact confirmed the presence of a Titanic creature of unknown classification moving along the far side of the Dragonspine Mountains. The entity, whatever it is, appears to be maintaining a steady course toward the strategic gap where the plateau separates the dragons from the serpent's tooth ranges. Due to the sheer scale of the seismic tremus preceding its arrival, all transit within this corridor is suspended. Citizens are advised to remain within the safety of Moonhaven Falls, and any sightings of colossal movement along the horizon should be reported directly to Ulara Vancroft and the town guard. The Crystal Network will continue to monitor the gap for any signs of the entity's emergence. You're listening to the Crystal Network.

SPEAKER_03 13:02

Good afternoon, Moonhaven Falls! This is Barnaby Buttercup. I am reporting live from the shadow of the Serpent's Tooth, and I must say, the atmosphere up here is, well, a bit singed. I am currently crouched behind a very large, very cold boulder, because the local heat index has spiked significantly in the last few minutes. It seems our friend Igneous has recently reached his breaking point with the Iron Head Demographic of the population. Just moments ago, I watched a barbarian attempting to use a battering ram on a door that quite clearly requires a password. The barbarian is currently reconsidering his life choices while cooling off in a nearby snowbank, alive but on the singed side. Igneo has asked for the floor, and frankly, when a dragon asks for the floor, you give him the whole building. Igneous.

SPEAKER_01 13:52

Greetings, citizens of Moonhaven Falls, and the misguided heroes currently loitering in the foothills of the serpent's tooth. This is Igneous. Lately, my gauntlet has seen an influx of individuals who appear to have mistaken my home for a common gymnasium. I have watched from the peaks as men in mismatched plate armor attempt to intimidate my stone sentinels, or worse, headbutt their way through the labyrinth of glass. Let me be exceedingly clear. My wager is a reward for challenges of the mind. If you believe your broadsword is a substitute for your brain, you are not a challenger. You are a nuisance. So, to save us both the time, and save your healers the effort of setting your broken bones, I am now instituting a mandatory pre-screening. If you cannot solve any of the following riddles on my gate, do not knock. Do not wager, simply turn around and find a nice safe hole to dig. Here is the new gauntlet before the gauntlet. Question one. If this stumps you, stay in the village square and enjoy the fountain. I have towns, but no houses. I have mountains, but no trees. I have water, but no fish. What am I? Question number two. For those of you who have read a book or two between your paltry tavern brawls, this will require a steady eye and a bit of reflection. I'm always hungry, but must always be fed. The finger I touch will soon turn red. I have no lungs, but I need air. Give me water, and I'll die right there. What am I? And finally, if you can solve this, you might actually manage to conquer the first room or so of my gauntlet. Fail here, and your tenfold wager stays in my hoard before you even step inside. I am the beginning of eternity, the end of time and space. I am the start of every end, and the end of every place. What am I? Please study them well. I'm looking for competitors, not targets. If you arrive at the Dragon Spine Foothills with nothing but a heavy shield and a vacant stare, expect to be sent back to Moonhaven Falls via the swiftest, possibly most vertical route possible. Barnaby, I trust the network will loop this message until it sinks in.

SPEAKER_03 17:06

Oof! My mustache is definitely a bit crispier than it was this morning now. Well, you heard him, listeners. If you're currently scratching your helmet over the Commoner's Gate riddle, please, for your own sake, stay in Moonhaven Falls, stick to the town square, enjoy the fountain, maybe visit Gorak, or stop by the Green Unicorn in. Check out the notice boards, but perhaps leave the gauntlet running for those who brought along a book with their shield. I'm now going to be there rather hasty retreat before my notes spontaneously combust. Back to you, Audric.

Thank you

SPEAKER_02 17:44

Well, ladies and gentlemen, the acoustics in here are certainly improved. When I walked in this morning, and I saw the bare stone floors, I admit I felt a silence I didn't know how to fill. I stood here, looking at this one solitary broadcasting crystal, the only thing our thief didn't walk off with. And I'll admit my first thought was that's it. The network's done. Next I felt anger, as my diatribe this morning certainly showed, and I apologize for that, Moonhaven. I was in a dark place. Next came helplessness, and finally I was headed toward acceptance and a resolution that I personally would rebuild this station from the ground up if I had to. And then my door opened. And it wasn't a bailiff. It wasn't a thief. It was a neighbor. And then another. And then another. And then a whole crowd. And I'm looking around this room right now, and it's no longer empty. It's it's a mosaic. To the Rowan family, thank you for the benches. My guests won't have to stand opposite me on the hard stone anymore. To the weavers and the tailors who brought in the rugs and curtains, I know these are personal items. I can see the embroidery and the edges. You've hung them over windows to dampen the reverb, you've covered the floor to soften footfalls. Honestly, the station's never looked more like a home. I'm holding a quill right now, was pressed into my hand by a young lad who said his teacher sent him. That marking schoolwork wasn't as needed as immediately as this quill was for the news. It's a bit scratched. The ink is a deep, stubborn violet, but the words feel all the more heartfelt as I write them out with this gift. Xylar, thank you for the stew at lunch. Gorak, thank you for the basket of bread. I didn't manage to finish it all. The kindness the community. Moonhaven, you did me more than just loan me your extra things. You reminded me why we do this. I've been calling this the Crystal Network for months now. I thought the network was a series of magical relays and expensive equipment, but I was wrong. The equipment, it's just wooden glass. The network is the woman who realized I needed ink. It's the man who brought a couple extra candles. The kids who have been popping in and out all day running errands and helping out around the station. It's all of you. The thief took the trappings. But they couldn't shift the foundation. Ladies and gentlemen, as long as this crystal glows, as long as you keep tuning in and helping me and each other with open arms and open hearts, we're not going anywhere. We are still here. We are still community. A family of friends, no matter how separated we sometimes may feel. Moonhaven, from the bottom of my very humbled heart. Thank you. This is Audrey Cashmere. Speaking to you from the heart of the Crystal Network. Thank you for tuning in, my lords and ladies. This concludes our episode for this week. We release a new episode every Tuesday morning at 5 AM Eastern, and to head off any questions on the topic, no, I have not personally suffered a recent theft. But thank you for your concern. I do hope you found this podcast to be creative, heartfelt, and enjoyable. If you did, I would Appreciate it if you would subscribe to the channel or follow the podcast, maybe even take a moment to rate it and share it with a friend or a community, as well as stopping by our Facebook or Patreon page to let me know what your favorite segment is. It's a simple, easy action, and it lets the algorithm know that you listened to and want to continue hearing these stories. If you want to give your answers to Igneous's pre-challenge, I will be posting them on Facebook and Patreon. There should be a link to both pages in the description. Do please keep in mind that I personally write, edit, and produce all of the content for the show, with the occasional guest appearance from my wife and children. So, if you want to send Timmy a cup of cocoa or me a cup of coffee every month, as encouragement to continue creating it, we gratefully accept. Thank you to all of our supporters. My family and I are very appreciative of all of you for showing your support by tuning in every week, and we would like to thank you for continuing to do so. I look forward to seeing you in the comments, and I hope you tune in again next week.