S1E31: Weight of the Water

This Week on Moonhaven Falls

The flood has come, and though they are exhausted, Moonhaven is still fighting back!

Selene covers the Magic Minute for Alara (With commentary from Audrick)

Ignis hosts the weekly wit check

Crossroads Chronicles interviews an elementally inclined Duo

and

Audrick gives us a quick update from under the dome.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:03

Good morning, Moonhaven Falls. This is Audric Cashmere with the Moonhaven Falls Crystal Network. Uh we're still here. We are still broadcasting through the grace of the divines. It has been two days now since the dam burst. For those of us here in Moonhaven, if we look up, we don't see the sky. We see forty feet of churning, angry river water pressing against the shimmering blue dome that is currently encasing the town. This shield of the falls, divided by Alara and Gary, and in place by order of Lord Kendrick, is the only thing between us and a crushing watery grave. It's the feat of magical prowess and innovation that I've seen no equal of. But magic on this scale does require a battery, and that battery is us. For those of you hearing this broadcast but not trapped in the town, every citizen of Moonhaven Falls is being called to the center square, where we are taking shifts, placing our hands upon the great focal gem, providing the raw essence needed to hold back the weight of the lake. Only those under five and over seventy have been exempted, well, those that were unable to evacuate anyway. No experience is needed. Alara and her apprentices are acting as the conduits, weaving our collective will into the shield. We are still here. The shield is still holding, though I don't know if any of you outside of town can even hear my voice. We've only gotten directed replies from the castle so far, and they have their own troubles. I don't think it even occurred to them to let us know if uh if we're still broadcasting. So, until I've been told otherwise, I'm going to assume that we are. Citizens of Moonhaven, please, if you see the mages, be kind. I know we're all tired, I know we're all aching, but they're the ones that are pale and shaky. They've been standing at the focal point for the last forty eight hours straight. They're the only reason we're still breathing, as they've been adjusting the runic circle on the fly, as debris and other issues have necessitated. It seems like the water is settling down a little bit. We're not really seeing the debris impacts anymore, so hopefully they can start cycling people out to get some rest, but uh Lord Kendrick's vessels up on the plateau have reported the water levels are starting to recede a little bit as the surge passes, but the pressure down here in town is still immense. Hold on, Moonhaven. Just hold on.

SPEAKER_01 2:40

Good morning, Moonhaven Falls. The stars have aligned, and the crystal network is once again humming with the frequency of the arcane. I am Celine Meadowlight. Mom, uh Alara, is currently busy with the dome, and I'm coming up on my time to lend aid as well, so Audric graciously let me reorganize his normal broadcasting schedule. This is the magic minute. Reports have been coming in from the town square near the magic fountain. It seems a few of the cobblestones have developed some kind of memory from the dragon siblings' recent weather dispute. If you step on a blue-tinted stone, you may find your weight reduced by exactly half for about three seconds. It's a quite delightful little hop, although I do suggest the town guard keep an eye on the local kids. I've already seen three of them trying to moon jump to the roof of the apocalypse. In our archives today, we find the ever full inkwell of the frustrated scribe. It's truly a marvel of enchantment, and it was found in the ruins down in the Shadow Fen. It never runs dry, which sounds like a blessing, until of course you realize it produces ink at a rate of about a drop a second. Constantly. Unless it's kept upside down and capped properly, it'll slowly drown your study in a sea of midnight blue. And as a reminder, magic is rarely as convenient as it seems, merely persistent. And now for the fundamental laws of the weave. Despite Mother saying I did a perfectly fine job last week, Audric has insisted on providing context today.

SPEAKER_02 4:02

And by context I mean sanity. Celine, please proceed.

SPEAKER_01 4:08

Let us discuss the laws of cover. If you are standing behind a tree, or perhaps a particularly stout barrel, you gain a bonus to your defense. Half cover grants you a modest protection, while three-quarters cover makes you nearly impossible to strike with a stray arrow. Right.

SPEAKER_02 4:23

See, that's just common sense. You hide behind the rock, you don't get hit by the rock thrower.

SPEAKER_01 4:29

I'm with you so far. Yes, but if you have total cover, meaning no part of your physical form is visible to the attacker, you cannot be targeted by any spells at all. Even if I know you're behind a wall, I can't reach you with my magic, unless the spell specifically wraps around corners, sometimes called area of effect spells. Wait, hold on a minute.

SPEAKER_02 4:50

You're saying that if I'm behind a thin wooden door, even if you know I'm here, you can't just, I don't know, firebolt me through the door? Most of them aren't that thick. Can't you just aim for a crack or something?

SPEAKER_01 5:07

Oh, I can hit the door, Audric, but the target of the spell must be a creature that I can see or that has a clear path of effect. The weave requires a line of sight. This is not a suggestion. It is a trajectory. Ha! It's a door, Celine.

SPEAKER_02 5:22

It's wood. You point your finger and kaboom! Honestly. If a bandant hides behind a curtain, are you trying to tell me the universe just forgets he's there?

SPEAKER_01 5:33

The universe does not forget Audric. The magic simply refuses to negotiate with Fabric. I mean that kind of makes sense, but Moving on. The law of falling. If you find yourself falling from a great height, perhaps from, say, the edge of Mohammed's plateau, you don't really have time to do more than a quick reaction, which is certainly not enough time to do anything aside from activating an item or casting a reactionary spell. Ooh, wait, wait, wait, hold on. Are you saying you fall instantly? No screaming, no dramatic last words to the person at the top? Unless you have the featherfall enchantment ready to snap into existence? Not really. Artificers call it the Doppler effect. You could scream or try to talk, but because of your acceleration away from the point you left, only one or two words would actually be understandable. After all, gravity is the only mage that never misses its casting time. Again, I get it, but that just doesn't seem like it should be correct. I'm afraid I really need to go. May your past be clear and your cover total. This has been the Magic Minute.

SPEAKER_00 6:36

Good morning, Moonhaven Falls. I must say the influx of letters to young Timmy last week was quite substantial, and I'm very happy to hear you're doing well under all that water. I was worried that all my hard work was for nothing, of course. Most of the answers Timmy got last week were apparently covered in jam or charcoal, but the effort was visible. It is truly a delight to see the local populace attempting to use their frontal lobes for something other than calculating the distance to the nearest tavern. The answers to last week's riddles are as follows a bottle, a ring, a ladder, a fan, a glove, light and trust. This week I believe we shall start in the garden and end in the stars. So listen closely. After all, a mind is like a parachute. It only works properly when it is open. I have many eyes but cannot see. I am often divided before I am buried, yet I do not die because of it. I wear a jacket all year long that I never outgrow. What am I? The first of seven keys for seven locks. Deliver your theories to the station. Timmy has apparently been considering a pair of spectacles, so do try to write legibly this time. Until next week, Moonhaven. Stay thoughtful. The alternative is unthinkable.

SPEAKER_02 8:32

Good afternoon to our town's bakers and printers, a weary smile to the mages and acolytes, a jaunty salute to the laborers, the merchants, and as ever, my fellow citizens from all walks of life here in the Lost Realms. You're listening to Crossroads Chronicles. I am Audric Cashmere here on the Crystal Network. Now, we've all felt the bite of the wind coming down off the dragon spine. We have all sweltered when the humidity rises from the Shadow Fen. Usually, our only defense is a thicker coat or a bigger fireplace. But today, we are looking at the future of the domestic environment. Joining me are two newcomers to the plateau, connecting in by transmission crystal from Lord Kendrick's castle. Their reputations have travelled faster than they have, however. These are the master artisans behind All Seasons Runics. Please welcome the Merry Duo, Flint and Mist.

SPEAKER_00 9:27

Thank you, Audric. It's a pleasure.

SPEAKER_01 9:29

We've finally stopped sneezing from the mountain dust, and the dome overhead does look properly woven, so I suppose we're happy to be here.

SPEAKER_02 9:38

It does take a while to get your mountain lungs, I'll admit, and we're lucky to have Gary and Alara. Now, you two are Janasi, correct? But of a fairly rare sort. Flint your fire and air, and mist your earth and water?

SPEAKER_00 9:54

That's right. I'm the high energy half of the marriage. I handle the circulation and the thermal output. If you want your parlor to feel like a summer breeze in the middle of a blizzard, I am your spark.

SPEAKER_01 10:09

And I am the solid foundation. I manage the humidity and the thermal mass. I make sure Flint's breezes don't just blow out candles and turn the house into an oven. We met at the Denier Academy of Runecraft. He was trying to make a self-heating kettle. I was trying to make a self-cooling wine cellar.

SPEAKER_00 10:28

It was a literally steamy romance, Audric. We realized, though, that by drawing upon and combining our heritages through runesmithing, we could create something far more versatile than simple, hot and cold.

SPEAKER_02 10:44

And that versatility caught the eye of some very high-profile clients. Word is you've already been commissioned by Lord Kendrick himself up at the castle?

SPEAKER_01 10:54

Yes, we have. We are currently weatherproofing his great hall. It's a massive project, balancing the drafty stone walls with a series of steady state runes etched into the floorboards. It should keep the room at a constant, comfortable sixty-eight degrees, regardless of whether there's a blizzard outside or a dragon blasting fire overhead.

SPEAKER_00 11:15

Yes. Lord Kendrick is a demanding client, I'll admit. But there's no denying he knows his quality. To be quite blunt, the nobility has us booked solid for the next year for certain. Possibly too, once they realize how solid our quality really is. However, and this is why we're here, we didn't just move to Moonhaven Falls to serve the top of the plateau.

SPEAKER_02 11:42

Well, that's refreshing to hear. Most artisans of your caliber wouldn't look twice at a commoner's cottage.

SPEAKER_00 11:48

But that's the beauty of runes, Audric. They're scalable. You don't need a castle's treasury to afford comfort. Once we have finished up with the nobles' homes, we're going to be opening up our hearthstone packages for the rest of town.

SPEAKER_01 12:05

Exactly. For a few gold pieces, we can etch a simple dew point rune in your larder walls to keep your bread from moulding in the shadow femme damp, or a thermal anchor in your bedroom hearth, so you'll never have to wake up to a freezing house again. Frankly, it's fair pricing for honest work. We aren't just selling luxury. We're selling livability.

SPEAKER_02 12:24

I imagine the local woodcutters might be a bit nervous about you putting them out of business if people stop needing firewood.

SPEAKER_00 12:31

No. We're not replacing fire, Audric. There's nothing like the smell of a real cedar log in your fireplace. No, our runes just make sure the heat actually stays in the room rather than disappearing up your chimney. We're all about efficiency, you see. We want the people of Moonhaven to spend far less time shivering and more time listening to well, your lovely show.

SPEAKER_02 12:58

Well, you certainly want me over. Alright, well be honest. As a married couple, who literally embodies the four elements between you, do you ever have uh climate disputes in your own home?

SPEAKER_01 13:11

Less than you'd expect, though Flint does like the bedroom to feel like a desert at high noon, and I would prefer it more like a misty morning on the coast.

SPEAKER_00 13:20

Well, yes, but it's all about compromise and finding a balance. Personally, I'm fine with a room being cool, as long as the bed stays warm.

SPEAKER_01 13:30

And I'm fine with a warm bed as long as I can kick off the covers. Believe me, if we can solve our own elemental clashes, we can definitely solve the drafts in your hallway.

SPEAKER_02 13:40

Well. Sounds like a testament to the power of compromise. And runesmithing. All season runics will be taking appointments for late next summer, starting next week, hopefully. Uh Flint, Mist, thank you for stopping by.

SPEAKER_01 13:55

And thank you, Audric. Do please stay grounded.

SPEAKER_00 13:58

And stay comfortable.

Dungeon Delvers Report

A new normal?

Thank You

SPEAKER_02 14:01

I'll try my best. That was Flint and Mist. Stay tuned, folks. This is Audric Cashmere with the Crystal Network. Good day to you, Dungeon Divers, Tomb Takers, and those of you currently treading water. I am Moran Breitseen, and you're listening to the Dungeon Delvers Report brought to you by the Fellowship of the Gilded Pen. We have a pack cycle today, so check your way of supply, sharpen your blades, cause we are going deep. First, an update for those of you currently wading through Bahamut's Plateau following the catastrophic breach of the Zeratan Dam. The plateau is currently still under three to five feet of murky, fast flowing water. The entire surface of the plateau is officially uncleared of aquatic predators. Reports from the Castle Guard confirm a massive influx of barbed fin hunters who had apparently previously been living upstream. Now, these creatures are highly aggressive in shallow water and have been seen nesting at the top of the drop where the falls usually sit. Marcus Brightbourne has issued a no-wade order for the entirety of the flats until the waters recede. Looking to the skies above the Dragonspine Mountains following the demise of the Behemoth Upstream, it would appear that the pieces of its massive carcass have mostly drifted into the lower canyons or been eaten by the fin hunters, leading to a frantic dispersal of its former inhabitants. The airspace between the serpent's tooth and dragonspine ranges are contiguously hazardous. The threat is that thousands of expats and razor gulls, formerly content to leave off the behemoth parasites, are now scattering in search of a new nesting ground and active protein. The Royal Antiquitarian Society is offering a bounty of twenty gold apiece for the first thirty behemoth mites that may have fallen during the creature's descent. The official reasoning is that these little-known monsters need to be captured, dissected, and catalogued. Moving to the west, far beyond our usual borders, we have a fresh discovery at the Singing Spires. A newly unearthed complex is then thinned but is still uncleared. A scouting party from the Oasis Explorers managed to map the entrance hall, but was driven back by sonic vibrations from an unseen monster that caused their iron gear to shatter. Now this is a high vibration assault bringing heavy plate armour, appears to be an invitation for a resonant death. Despite that, the high amount of gilding and numerous runic clockwork golems appear to indicate that there is still treasure here yet to be had. Switching to a success story from the north, the veterans of the Arcane Anvil have returned from the Mara Works with their pockets heavy. The primary assembly floor of the Bone Golem Factory is officially cleared. The Anvil successfully neutralized the Gravestitcher Alpha, netting them the 10,000 gold piece bounty that was posted six months ago. Now, while the main thread is gone, the lower storage bins are still teeming with discarded skeletal limbs that are likely to stitch themselves into some rather dangerous opponents when disturbed. This is potentially a lucrative scavage for anyone needing cheap necromatic components, or those willing to root through skeletal fragments for overlooked or unnoticed weapons and gear. The churches of Kelumvar and Latander have offered a joint bounty of 4,000 gold pieces per month, one month expected, for a party to escort a group of priests to the site to give last rites and re-inter them. We do have a resurgent warning for those frequenting the Obsidian Canyons. The Glass Web Hive, which we declared eradicated last cycle, it appears that it has seen a population boom. A recent recon and recovery mission by the Crimson Blades suffered two casualties when the empty tunnels turned out to be filled with invisible razor-sharp silk. Now, remember, these spiders are not just venomous, they are masters of light refraction. That being said, Lord Kendrick has hiked up the price for a pound of glass silk to 900 gold coins per pound, with no upper limit on delivery. And finally, there is a abysmal failure to report from the Whispering Isles. The Vault of Eternal Silence remains uncleared. The rune reavers attempted to bypass the vault's sensory wards using silence spells, but it turns out the vault's guardians, massive stone sentinels, are triggered by movement instead of sound, and are also intelligent enough to remain immobile long enough to lure parties into an ambush. Only one apprentice made it out, the rest are now permanent exhibits in the entryway, due to the Golem's stone breath attack. That being said, the Order of the Oak Father is said to be mounting an expedition to retrieve them and any others that have been similarly caught, and is offering an equal split of any treasure found once the vault is cleared. Now that is the long and short of it for today, ladies and gentlemen. Please watch the tides, watch the skies, and for goodness sake, watch your feet. This has been Moore and Brightseen for the Crystal Network. Clear a path, watch your flank, and tune in here for the lowdown on the local problems. You're listening to the Dungeon Delver's Report here on the Crystal Network. Good evening, Moonhaven. This is Audrey Cashmere, broadcasting to you from the studio, which, thanks to a very hard-working dehumidifier and our own associate Timmy, is currently the only place in town where it doesn't feel like my notes are turning immediately into paper mache. Up first, and our big story, the bubble update. Here it is, the news you're all holding your breath for, quite literally in some cases. Alara Meadowlight has issued a statement regarding the experimental shimmer shield currently holding back the forty feet or so of lake water. She asks that the citizens please stop poking their fingers through it. It is not a sheet of zooglass, it's a highly volatile weave of divination and abjuration magic, and every time someone pokes it to see if it's squishy, the streetlights in the northern ward flicker. The spell is holding, although Alara does mention that the blue tint to the light is apparently a permanent side effect of the amount of water that the light is filtering through. So if your neighbors look a little sickly, don't worry, we're all just a little cerulean for the foreseeable future. In local news, the Moonhaven Falls are currently flowing overhead, since we are technically under the falls now. Um Alara Vancroft and the town guard have cordoned off the main plaza. It turns out that the magical fountain is reacting rather strangely to being underwater. That perfect packing snow it produces has stopped forming, and the water itself seems to be charged now. Alara has likened it to a mild static shock when you stick your hands in it, so please keep the remaining children away from the town square until further notice. Quick word from our sponsors. This evening's broadcast is brought to you by the price of potions. The town apocalypse are currently running a flash sale on potions of water breathing. Now they won't help you maintain the bubble, but they will certainly make the inevitable leak drills a bit less stressful. Please remember it's better to have gills and not need them than need gills and only have a snorkel. A quick rundown on our quest board in town here. Looking a bit soggy today, but a few new listings have floated to the top. We have a missing delivery crate of water warding talismans. They were last seen vanishing in a burst of white light about the time the initial surge crashed over town, so good luck retrieving those. The local druid has put in an urgent request looking for volunteers to help convince a giant snapping turtle that the mare's chimney is not a suitable nesting site, and that it should stop trying to breach the shield. Finally, Alara Meadowlight has asked for volunteers to run errands and fetch things like food and water for the mages and citizens who are currently actively powering the wards. Finally, and on a lighter note, goodness knows we need one, I have just been handed an update from the town center. It appears that there is some relief available for For our weary defenders. As we are all now aware, maintaining the atmospheric displacement field is unsurprisingly exhausting work, and everyone, but especially Alara Meadowlight and her team of mages, have been reporting significant arcane fatigue and a rather nasty body ache, especially for the more magically adept. However, good news has come, it seems the Town Square Fountain is doing more than just giving fingers the tingles today. Local volunteers helping the mages have discovered that while the water does behave strangely under the dome, it has developed a peculiar tonic quality. It turns out that a quick rinse under the fountain's waterspout has been found to immediately ease the aches and mana burn associated with holding up our ceiling. Alara Vancroft has already authorized a temporary soaking rotation for the guards, citizens, and especially the spellcasters. So, if you see a group of people or exhausted mages standing calf deep in the basin with their heads under the fountain and expressions of pure bliss on their faces, please leave them be. They're just recharging the batteries that keep us from becoming a permanent reef. Well, that's the news for the evening. We may be underwater Moonhaven, but stay dry, or at least stay as comfortable as possible. This has been Audrey Cashmere, with the Moonhaven Falls Crystal Network. Thank you for tuning in, ladies and gentlemen. This concludes our episode of the week. If you wish to give us your answers to the Igneous' Daily Challenge, I do post them on Facebook and Patreon once per day. Should be a link to both pages in the description. If you would like to engage with a specific character or even just the channel in general, please pop by and say hello, and let me know what your favorite segment is. We do release a new episode every Tuesday morning at 5 AM Eastern, and I hope you found this podcast to be interesting, creative, and amusing. If you did, I'd appreciate it if you could take a quick moment to subscribe to the channel or follow the podcast, and a second quick moment to rate it and share it with a friend or a community. It's a simple, easy action, it lets the algorithm know that you listen to and want to continue hearing these stories. 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