Gunsmoke: The Old Gunfighter Nobody Believed

In Dodge City, an old man named Charlie spends his days parked outside the Dodge House, spinning yarns to anyone who'll sit still long enough to listen. His favourite subject is a legendary gunfighter called Rio Joe, a man Charlie swears he once stood shoulder to shoulder with. Most folks roll their eyes and walk on, but young Chester takes Charlie's side when a couple of toughs start pushing the old-timer around, and walks away with a black eye for his trouble.

Not everyone in Dodge is willing to let a harmless old storyteller be. A local bully named Rasp decides to call Charlie's bluff once and for all, dragging him into the street in the middle of the night to make him prove he can back up his talk. Marshal Matt Dillon breaks it up, but a telegram from Washington arrives just a little too late to stop what happens next, and Dodge City learns the hard way that Charlie's stories may not have been tall tales after all.

Episode Quotes

"You're old enough to leave your gunfights behind you." - Marshal Matt Dillon

"Don't let him put on those guns and march around till he gets himself killed." - Kitty

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

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SPEAKER_02 0:16

Check their competitive prices online at tabletpharmacy.ca Around God City and in the turn of the unwest, there is just one way to handle the killers and the spoilers, and that's with a U.S. Marshal and the fellow gunsmoke. And the story of a man who moved with it. I'm that man. The first man they look for and the last they want to meet. And a little lonely.

SPEAKER_08 1:41

I was just telling you, Mr. Doby, the bird up in number four don't have no more to give to it than a old McClellan fat. Well, I don't know. What were you doing up there anyway? I seen that drummer pack his duds out of here, so I know he wasn't in there no more, so I went on up. You got no right to go in my rooms. No right at all. Well, now, Mr.

SPEAKER_13 1:58

Doby, I've been figuring I might take that room someday, and I was just kind of looking it over, sir. Oh, for heaven's sake, Chester, you're talking a lot of foolishness. You can't afford to stay in the dog's house.

SPEAKER_08 2:07

Well, it don't hurt nothing for a man to think about better than himself, sir. What in the world is that? Uh, it's a fight. Right outside my hotel.

SPEAKER_02 2:16

Now, now, now. Don't upset yourself, Mr. Doby. You just sat there.

SPEAKER_08 2:19

I'll go on out and say, Don't pay any damages. You tell him. Yeah. All right, here now. Yeah, old man. I think you better sit down.

SPEAKER_10 2:27

Here, here, you something.

SPEAKER_08 2:29

And then quit your jabbering. Here now, here. You'll leave Charlie B. Yeah, you better mind your own business, Chester. I said, move along now. Leave him be. Hey, now who you shoving here with?

SPEAKER_10 2:41

Go on.

unknown 2:42

Wait a minute.

SPEAKER_08 2:44

Okay, Chester. Okay, now just snimmer down. Don't need to get so hard-nosed. Well, you ought to be ashamed, big fellas like you pushing the old man around. We didn't mean no harm. We were just trying to get him to stop ragging at us to quit his talking. It don't make no difference to me what you were trying to do. Go on, get.

SPEAKER_13 3:02

Getting so you can't walk down a street without he stops you and talks your ear off. I said get. Oh, come on, Edward.

SPEAKER_08 3:12

You heard Charlie? No, no, I ain't hurt.

SPEAKER_03 3:14

It'd take more of them young buzzards to hurt me. What was they pushing you around for? Oh, uh, just trying to tell them something, that's all. Young folks ain't got the gumption to listen when to do them the most good. Well now. Well, they they got shot down easy. Shot? Who's gonna shoot them? Well, anybody to draw on the way they're handling them guns. I didn't hear no shooting. Of course she didn't. There wasn't none. They was talking about a fast draw. Ain't they been shot down, sure. Charlie, was you trying to tell them how to do it? Uh, young ones, they just don't listen. You tried to tell them, but they just don't listen.

SPEAKER_06 3:51

Well, now you just sat there quiet like.

SPEAKER_02 3:54

They won't bother you no more. Real Joe would have got both of them before they even slapped the leather the way they was doing it.

SPEAKER_13 4:00

Yeah, well, sure, real Joe would have outdrew anybody back. That that goes back away, don't it?

SPEAKER_03 4:05

Young smart Alexei won't listen at all, hey! They kind of winged you in the eye, didn't they?

SPEAKER_05 4:13

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 4:14

I guess maybe they did there was a few elbows flying around. Well, you better put some beefsteak on it. Man needed eyesight these days. Seeing's a good part of shooting.

SPEAKER_08 4:25

Yeah, yeah, sure. Well, all right then. You you just sat there, Charlie, now, and you let me know if you get bothered smart.

SPEAKER_03 4:31

Ain't nobody willing to listen no more. No matter how much you got to tell them.

SPEAKER_08 4:35

Yeah, well, I'll I'll see you sometime. You take care of yourself, Charlie. Ain't nobody willing to listen, Paul.

SPEAKER_04 4:55

There you are.

SPEAKER_01 4:56

Thank you, Kitty.

SPEAKER_04 4:57

Thank you, Kitty. Can't you sit down a little? Uh, maybe. A few minutes. I gotta check over the whiskey supply with Sam pretty soon. Well, now, I wouldn't want to interfere with that.

SPEAKER_12 5:10

It'd be a terrible tragedy for Dodge if the saloon ran dry.

SPEAKER_02 5:14

Yeah, most of these men would rather see the river go shrie.

SPEAKER_04 5:17

Well, you're both sounding pretty high and mighty for a couple of fellows who aren't exactly teetot.

SPEAKER_12 5:23

Don't just philosophize them, Kitty. Nothing personal.

SPEAKER_04 5:27

How come Matt buying you two bears, Doc? Because I won two games of checkers. That's right.

SPEAKER_12 5:33

He's slowing up, Kitty. Oh, he's slowing up.

SPEAKER_04 5:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 5:37

I've noticed.

SPEAKER_06 5:38

Oh. Uh Doc. Yeah. Mind if I see you for a minute? Well, sure not, Chester. Sit down. Uh, well, no, thank you. I'm thinking we might blow on over to your office.

SPEAKER_04 5:48

Chester.

SPEAKER_06 5:49

Look at me.

SPEAKER_02 5:50

Chester?

SPEAKER_06 5:52

Who is Kitty?

SPEAKER_04 5:53

Wait. You've got a black eye.

SPEAKER_02 5:56

Yeah, let me see that, Chester. Well, you sure have, and it's uh you. Well, yes, sir, I guess it is. Uh, Doc, you got something put on it. Man ought to protect his eyeside. Of course, a little late for that, Chester. You should have ducked. Yeah, where'd you pick that up, Chester? Well, I was just trying to help, that's all.

SPEAKER_08 6:14

You just don't pay a body to try and do a good deed anymore.

SPEAKER_02 6:18

Who were you trying to help?

SPEAKER_08 6:20

Uh, that old Charlie, what's his name? Sets out in front of the Dodge house talking to anybody who listens. Charlie! Don't tell me he gave you that eye. No, Doc, no, of course not. A couple of young smart Alex is picking on him, and I mixed in it, and you come out with this.

SPEAKER_02 6:35

It doesn't look like you accomplished much, do you?

SPEAKER_04 6:37

Now stop teasing him, you two. That was a nice thing you did, Chester. Thank you. I rum off all right.

SPEAKER_08 6:45

But the old Koop's bound to get into more trouble. Oh, how's that? Why, he keeps telling folks what they ought to do, and you know, Miss Dillon, there ain't too many people who want to listen to an old man like him telling how to draw a gun.

SPEAKER_02 6:57

Draw a gun?

SPEAKER_08 6:58

He's always talking about the gunfighters of olden days, and folks get tired of listening to that.

SPEAKER_02 7:03

Well, you better not listen either, Chester. You only got one more eye.

SPEAKER_04 7:07

Now, don't pay any attention to him, Chester. I'll fix that eye up for you. A little raw meat, kitty. That's about the best thing. Yeah, and a few less jokes. I never did know what was so funny about a black eye. Come on, Chester.

SPEAKER_03 7:34

Oh. Now, you see, boy, you gotta be careful about how you work the barrel. You gotta have a good true barrel on your gun.

SPEAKER_09 7:45

You sure can whittle nice, mister.

SPEAKER_03 7:47

Oh, well, uh, boy, it don't take much to do some whiggling. All you gotta do is have a sharp knife and a remembrance in your hand for what you're making.

SPEAKER_09 7:59

Well, you got a remembrance for that gun, mister?

SPEAKER_03 8:02

Oh, why. Like I have for the blaze of the Texas sun on my back. Ma'am, don't forget them things.

SPEAKER_09 8:11

It don't look like my pa's gun. Uh that that part there is different.

SPEAKER_03 8:16

Uh, this here?

SPEAKER_09 8:18

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:19

Well, they got new fangled ideas. You don't need no notch in the cylinder to make a good gun.

SPEAKER_09 8:27

Well, Pa shoots better, I reckon.

SPEAKER_03 8:32

Better than his gun. Well, Rio Joe could hit anything he could see.

SPEAKER_09 8:37

You know, real Joe?

SPEAKER_03 8:39

Yes, I know him.

SPEAKER_09 8:41

You seen him join shooting?

SPEAKER_03 8:42

Oh, I stood right with him.

SPEAKER_09 8:44

I jingle, mister. You recollect things you could tell me?

SPEAKER_03 8:48

Oh, sure, boy. I recollect real good. I recollect the time down in border country when he faced down three men using a gun like this.

SPEAKER_09 8:59

Three men. Oh, did they draw it on him?

SPEAKER_03 9:02

Well, yes, they drawed. But that was the last thing they ever did.

SPEAKER_09 9:08

It don't seem like we no man could do that.

SPEAKER_03 9:11

Rio could do it. He is good with a gun. Yeah, real good.

SPEAKER_09 9:16

Go on, mister. Tell me how he done it.

SPEAKER_02 9:18

Well, the way it was. Rio was coming along a trail by some cottonwoods. Still spinning them yarns, oh my.

SPEAKER_09 9:27

He's telling me about Rio Joe.

SPEAKER_02 9:29

Oh, Rio Joe. He's telling you about Rio Joe.

SPEAKER_09 9:35

He's that tormentor.

SPEAKER_02 9:36

Of course that should. Don't listen to him, boy. This here old fool is like to hear himself talk. He never seen a gunfighter like Rio Joe his whole life. Well, I didn't see him. He just talks so much the whole town's tired of it, boys. You don't want to get took in by an old blowhard. Now you look at here.

SPEAKER_09 10:03

Mister?

SPEAKER_03 10:05

I was telling you straight, boy. You believe me, don't you?

SPEAKER_09 10:13

Well, can you prove it?

SPEAKER_11 10:19

Yeah, I don't know, boy. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 10:49

What are you talking about? Hey, slide that bottle down this way, will you? Thanks. Hey, you the two fellas give that marshal's help for a black eye. Chester?

SPEAKER_13 11:05

Well, he was asking for it.

SPEAKER_02 11:08

Working out of his business. You know, first I thought the old man gave it to him. Old Charlie? All he does is talk. Oh, he sure does that, though, don't he? You think nobody else knows how to draw a gun? Him and Rio Joe. Boy, he don't even wear a gun. No, no, he don't. I ain't never seen him draw. He just talks about it. Don't seem like fella talks that much ought to back his play. Oh, Charlie ain't got no play to back. That'd be mighty interesting, put it up to him. What you mean?

SPEAKER_10 11:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:53

Mighty interesting. What are you aiming at? I I just got me a smart idea how to get rid of that old man. Wait a minute, Raff. He ain't done nothing bad enough to get shot first. No. Who's talking about shooting? I. You said get rid of. Sure I did, and it'll work. All you gotta do is just call his bluff. How's that? Well, get him out in the street and tell him he's got to face up to one of us, or else keep his mouth shut and leave town.

SPEAKER_01 12:29

Yeah, that'd be calling it.

SPEAKER_02 12:31

He sure ain't gonna draw. No, not a cautious like him. There'll be nothing for him to do but yeah. Come on, let's go fetch him. Tonight. Sure, tonight. Right now, he no reason to sleep on. Come on. Yeah. That's it.

SPEAKER_13 13:00

Come on now. Right down these stairs. Now wait a minute. Sweep your boy down. We got something to show you out in the secretary.

SPEAKER_02 13:09

But it's the middle of the night. Ain't gonna make much difference, old man. Yeah. I drag him right out in the middle of the street.

SPEAKER_08 13:17

Uh, you're not man enough to three up together to get away with this. What's your talking? You ain't got enough guts to water shotgun with you. We're gonna shut him up, Rast.

SPEAKER_02 13:27

Sure is making a lot of noise for an old man standing around in the drawer.

SPEAKER_08 13:32

Bunch of yellow bellies dragging a man from his bed. You just give me a chance to do that to you.

SPEAKER_02 13:37

Giving you a chance, old man.

SPEAKER_08 13:39

Down in Texas, we just strung you up.

SPEAKER_02 13:41

Oh, you've been talking mighty big for a man that don't wear no guns.

SPEAKER_08 13:45

Yeah, and you're lucky I don't.

SPEAKER_02 13:47

Now we'll just see about that. We're gonna give you one.

SPEAKER_08 13:51

Huh?

SPEAKER_02 13:51

We're gonna see just how much you learn from Rio Juffle.

SPEAKER_10 13:56

No, we can't do that. Here, let both. Let bullsey. Let me throw him.

SPEAKER_01 14:02

Let me throw.

SPEAKER_02 14:06

It's it's let him go. Oh, Marshal, we were just having some fun with him. Let him go. He sure needed the lessons. He doesn't need any lessons from you. Go on now. Get away from here. Well, there ain't no call to get rough about it, Marshal. Somebody had to shut the old man up. You listen to me. I find you pestering him again. I'll be rough in a way you're gonna really understand. Now you go on and get out of here. Come on, Charlie. You'll go back to your room.

SPEAKER_03 14:50

You don't need to give me no help, Marshal. I can take care of myself.

SPEAKER_01 14:55

Sure. I know that, Charlie.

SPEAKER_03 14:57

I wasn't scared of him. I just stood up to him.

SPEAKER_01 15:01

Yeah. Come on upstairs.

SPEAKER_03 15:06

Ain't nobody never got by with nothing like that before.

SPEAKER_01 15:10

Don't worry about it. It's not gonna happen again.

SPEAKER_11 15:12

I know it ain't, Marshal. I know it ain't.

SPEAKER_01 15:19

Carly, you mind if I come in for a few minutes?

SPEAKER_11 15:23

Oh. Well, yes, you can suit yourself.

SPEAKER_02 15:31

You figuring on staying and Dodge, Charlie? Well, I did kind of have it in my mind. Man likes a place to settle. You don't need to change your mind because of those rocks, Charlie. I'll handle it. Yeah. No need of that, Marshal.

SPEAKER_03 15:51

Oh. Would you uh step over that way? I'd like to get in that trunk. Oh, yeah, sure.

SPEAKER_01 16:09

Oh. Looks like you've had those guns a long time, Charlie.

SPEAKER_11 16:13

Yes, I have.

SPEAKER_01 16:20

Good shape.

SPEAKER_02 16:23

You're old friend, Marshal. I take good care of him. It kind of comforts me to have him with me. Yeah. I uh I wouldn't get any idea about starting to wear 'em again, Charlie.

SPEAKER_01 16:42

They're old guns.

SPEAKER_02 16:45

Oh.

SPEAKER_03 16:46

And I'm an old man. Is that what you're saying?

SPEAKER_01 16:51

You're old enough to leave your gun fights behind you. Would you remember that?

SPEAKER_04 17:26

I hope they didn't hurt the old man.

SPEAKER_02 17:28

No, they didn't hurt him. Not physically, anyway.

SPEAKER_04 17:31

Well, I guess his tribe took a beating. Yeah. A terrible thing they did too. You think he's gonna leave town now? I don't know, Kitty. I wouldn't blame him if he did. No. But it'd really be a shame. He wasn't doing any harm, telling his stories. And the kids seem to like him.

SPEAKER_02 17:50

Yeah. But Rasp didn't.

SPEAKER_04 17:53

That Rasp Hiller. He's always been a bully.

SPEAKER_02 17:57

Sound like I hear my name mentioned, Roger.

SPEAKER_04 18:00

You did, Rasp, and I'm glad to repeat what I said. I called you a bully.

SPEAKER_02 18:08

Well, now that ain't real ladylike, Miss Kitty. It isn't, Marshal. Why don't you move along, Rasp? I keep forgetting you're the big Marshal taking care of the ladies and old men around town. I have an idea that one particular old man can take care of himself. Oh, you've been listening to too many of his stories. I'm not so sure they're just stories. What do you mean? I saw a pair of horse pistols in his room last night. And they looked like they'd had a lot of weight. That old coop don't wear no gun? He's wearing one now. Old Charlie? I wouldn't get in his way if I were you. You mean that old geezer might draw on me? No. You've been took in by his talk. I'm just telling you to be careful. He's not gonna forget what you did to him last night. All right, Marsha. I'll play along. I'll tell you one thing. That old man better not start nothing. I wear my guns all the time. So do I, Raspberry. You ain't scaring me none, Marshal. I'll be around. So will I, Raspberry. So long, Miss Kitty.

SPEAKER_04 19:30

Really think there's gonna be trouble, Matt?

SPEAKER_01 19:33

I don't know, Kitty. Old Charlie was pretty upset.

SPEAKER_04 19:37

Well, you gotta stop it. Don't let him put on those guns and march around till he gets himself killed.

SPEAKER_02 19:42

I can't take them away from him, Kitty.

SPEAKER_04 19:44

Why can't you?

SPEAKER_02 19:45

Because he hasn't done anything.

SPEAKER_04 19:46

Oh. Well yeah, I forgot. You have to sit and wait until something happens. Until somebody gets killed before you can do anything. Ah, Kitty. Why don't you just go stop this thing now before someone gets hurt?

SPEAKER_02 20:00

All right, I'll see what I can do.

SPEAKER_01 20:17

Huh? Oh, hello, dog.

SPEAKER_12 20:21

Yeah, where? Where are you bound for?

SPEAKER_01 20:24

Going over to the telegraph office.

SPEAKER_12 20:25

Oh, well, I'll walk along.

SPEAKER_02 20:27

All right. I've been waiting for a wire from Washington. About time it came in.

SPEAKER_12 20:34

I'll take your badge or the other.

SPEAKER_02 20:37

Days like this, they're welcome to it.

SPEAKER_01 20:42

Hello, Ed. You've got something for me?

SPEAKER_12 20:45

Well, uh, that's a funny thing, Marshal. Something just did come in. I was going to bring it up as soon as I hit my dinner.

SPEAKER_01 20:53

Yeah?

SPEAKER_12 20:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:56

All right. Well, see you later, Ed. Sure.

SPEAKER_12 21:12

You don't look too happy about what's in that wire, man.

SPEAKER_02 21:15

This wire isn't really good news, Doc. It's something I've been expecting. That's your salary, Diddy? No, I wish it was that simple.

SPEAKER_12 21:27

But fire, hurry! Where are we going?

SPEAKER_02 21:30

I want to find old Charlie and take his guns out of it.

SPEAKER_13 21:33

You mean that wire was about old Charlie?

SPEAKER_02 21:36

Yeah. I'd ask a couple of questions. You better stick with me, Doc. You may be needed. Yeah, sure.

SPEAKER_09 21:47

What you doing, huh?

SPEAKER_01 21:48

Yeah, Chester, I'm on my way.

SPEAKER_02 21:53

John? And old Charlie. Yeah, the wire was too late. What then? Never mind. You look at Chester. Charlie over there, Doctor. Sure, man. I'm pretty sure Raff's dead, Mr. Dunning. Yeah. He's dead.

SPEAKER_06 22:10

That old man just stood there. Cool as could be. Let Raff draw first. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 22:16

And he shot him down with one of them old pistols. I'm not surprised. Let's go see him.

SPEAKER_07 22:28

How is he, Doc? He's not good enough. He's not good at all.

SPEAKER_11 22:36

Marshal.

SPEAKER_07 22:39

Yeah, Charlie.

SPEAKER_11 22:42

I ain't gonna make it.

SPEAKER_07 22:45

Don't worry about it.

SPEAKER_11 22:47

Oh, I don't I don't care about that. It's past time for me to settle. But Marsha. Yeah, I'm right here, Charlie. I I want you to know I wasn't making up them stories.

SPEAKER_07 23:07

I know you weren't.

SPEAKER_11 23:09

I wasn't making no no brags or no bluffs. I I did stand with Rio Joe. I know. I I could shoot too. I could shoot as good as he could. I could draw as fast as Rio Joe.

SPEAKER_07 23:36

Charlie, you could.

SPEAKER_11 23:38

You you believe me, Marshal.

SPEAKER_07 23:42

Yeah, I believe you.

SPEAKER_11 23:47

I figure maybe you kind of know the whole thing.

SPEAKER_07 23:54

Yeah, I do. I guessed it for real.

SPEAKER_11 23:59

Sure. Sure. Tell the others for me. Tell them I tell them I work. No. No.

SPEAKER_07 24:21

He's gone, man.

SPEAKER_06 24:28

Mr. Dillon. Just a minute ago, what was that you called him?

SPEAKER_01 24:35

Rio, Chester.

SPEAKER_06 24:37

Old Charlie was real? Oh, that's just terrible. Dying like that? Nobody knowing who you are?

SPEAKER_07 24:48

I don't know, Chester. I have a hunch Rio'd like it just this way. I'd have had to arrest him otherwise.

SPEAKER_02 24:57

Rio's been a wanted man for twenty years. William McFarland. Uh Marshall. Hollywood fighting with the four supervision by John McDonald. Features of the F. J. Big Feel and Edward McCaffrey and Jack Moy. Holly Bears. Hollywood McMahon. And George Ellis Kitty. George Walsh inviting you to join us again next week when CDS Radio presents another story of the Western Frontier. When Matt Fillon, Chester Hobbes, and Kitty, together with all the other high-living Philippines of the will be with you once more. If America living life in the 1870s, it's ever find yourself waiting endlessly at a big box pharmacy, feeling like just another number?

SPEAKER_00 26:33

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