S2E9: Can You Thrive While Sleep Deprived?

In this episode we're talking about the overlooked resource that many see as an option and sometimes even a burden; sleep. If we didn't have to sleep we'd have soo much more time to do the things we want to do.

However, we DO need sleep, so I share some insight into how I'm navigating getting sleep, being a mom/wife, and building business. I know, I know...I'm totally wonder woman, you caught me on a good day.

Transcript

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Welcome to the Mom Boss Like a Boss Podcast, a podcast where we talk about mom life, entrepreneurship, and everything in between. I'm your host, Taylor B, a mom of four precious boys and an entrepreneur at heart. If you've been looking for a village of like-minded people, then I think you found the right place. I look forward to talking with you, and I can't wait to see you inside. Hey y'all, welcome back to the podcast. If you're new here, welcome welcome. If you're a returning listener, thank you so much for tuning in. If you don't know me, I'm Taylor B and I am the brand and web designer behind TB Design Loft, a design studio specializing in branding, websites, and package design, determined to help more moms build sustainable businesses that flow with their life instead of control their life. I recently had two of my first two guest interview episodes. One with my friend Marlene and one with Tommy D. So I'm really excited and I'm setting up my website so that way if you want to be a guest on the podcast, you can fill out the form. If you want to recommend someone to be a guest, you can also fill out another form. Setting all that up. It's been really great. Finally setting up the email list, all the things. So there's a lot going on behind the scenes. So I was trying to figure out what I wanted to talk about today because I have so many ideas, but I wasn't sure what I could ramble about today. I was talking to my best friend earlier today about how I've been trying to manage getting a little bit more time to work, along with balancing, getting some kind of sleep. You know, as a mom, you probably know the feeling of sleep deprivation and that feeling of exhaustion all the time. So I've been trying to figure out a way to still build my business, leave room for working and doing the things that I need to do at home. So today we're gonna talk about sleep, that wonderful thing that we all took for granted as kids. So I'm gonna tell you guys what I told my friend. Okay, just to give y'all a little backstory first. I was trying to figure out why, no matter how much I slept, it always seemed like I woke up tired. Now, granted, I'm gonna preface this, but there are probably a lot of factors that go into it. If there are any sleep experts listening to this, feel free to, you know, send any resources you have. I've done very minimal research on this at the moment. I was trying to figure out why I was always waking up so tired. Now, my diet is not the best, so that's probably a factor. I know my iron is low. Also, I still have a one-year-old who wakes up sometimes, he sleeps through the night, and then sometimes he wakes up randomly throughout the night, especially if he's sick, or sometimes it's just randomly one in the morning, he starts crying, and I'm like, oh no, why? Why are you awake? Why are you not sleeping until the sun comes up? But I digress. So I'm still in the trenches of my baby baby sleeping through the night. I would say it's a lot better than it used to be, thank God. But there are still nights where it's like, oh, this is this is a rough night. But my five-year-old also sometimes randomly wakes up in the middle of the night at like 2 or 3 a.m. and I'll hear him echoing, I'll hear his voice echoing throughout the house. And then I'll check the camera and I'm like, yep, he's up. It usually sounds like yeah and then clapping. Sometimes he gets up and is jumping on the bed, jumping on his brothers, waking them up, all kinds of things. So some nights are rougher than most. But it seemed to me that even on the nights where it's like, I slept through the night, or maybe I only woke up once. Why am I still so tired? I don't feel like I'm rested. I want to do a basic Google search, how much sleep do women need? The stupid AI overview thing that I'm pretty sure I turned off, supposedly, that won't go away. It says adult women typically need seven to nine hours of sleep per night. However, research shows women may be more sensitive to sleep deprivation and often require slightly more rest than men to compensate for hormonal fluctuations and frequently interrupted sleep. So it sounds like women, ladies, it sounds like we need more sleep to make up for, like it said, the frequently interrupted sleep and hormonal fluctuations. Again, I have not done deep research on this. So do not take me at my word. I am literally just reading off the Google search. I typed in how much sleep do women need, that was it. And of course, as moms, we don't usually get a lot of sleep in the first several years. Combined with trying to build a business, your five to nine, as they call it. You know, you have your nine to five, which is your primary job, and then your five to nine, which is the hours you quote unquote work on your business with. As moms, I mean at five to nine, that is homework time, bedtime, family time. Like that's what all that is. Probably cleaning to, you know, make up for the day and all that. So five to nine is not, that's not free time for moms. Not usually. I know for me during the school year, it's not really free time. Once they've had dinner and they're doing their activities for my older two, that would be game time for my five-year-old that's playing with toys, running around trying to get into things, thinking I can't see him, whatever it is he's trying to do. So that time frame is not really free time for moms. And it also depends on your values, it depends on what you're trying to do. I will say sometimes I work. Yesterday I worked. I was trying to work on my website as much as I could while my one-year-old was somewhat calm and not screaming at me to hold him until he started screaming at me to hold him. So I did work. I worked in the front area while my kids were having their game time and my little one was playing and also trying to keep an eye on my five-year-old. I don't always do this, but yesterday was one of those days. The sucky thing about the whole sleep situation for women, mothers who are trying to build something or have a hobby that requires time outside of their normal day is that it truly feels like you just don't have enough time in the day. Because you have to cater to everyone, you have to prepare for the next day and the future, and then you have to sacrifice sleep in order to do the things for you. You go to bed after everyone else, everyone else is asleep, and then you're up doing things, cleaning, cooking for the next day or the next few days, and then you're going to bed at 12 in the morning because you've spent three or four hours getting things getting the house together, cleaning up toys, doing whatever it is you do, or working on your business. And don't even get me started on if you need to clean, cook, and still want to work on your business, because that's what I've been struggling with. It's like, oh my gosh, I need to get this house together, but it's like I want to work on my business, or I want to work on this thing for my business, and I need sleep. It's like being pulled in a million different directions, and it's so frustrating, and it's even more difficult when you are sleep-depressed. So that was a very long-winded side note. But I also looked up, how long is a power nap supposed to be? Power naps should ideally last 15 to 20 minutes. This short window keeps you in the lightest stages of sleep, providing an immediate boost in alertness and mood without causing sleep inertia, which is the groggy, disoriented feeling you get when waking up from deep sleep. So whenever you try to take like a two-hour nap, because I tried this, I was trying to figure out why I feel so exhausted. I just took a nap. I was asleep. I was out, I was out of there. It's because a two-hour nap is not a nap. You're, and I'm gonna get into how long a sleep cycle is, because this is what has been helping me, or at least I think it's been helping me. You're waking up in the middle of a sleep cycle where you're either in deep sleep or you're getting there. It's like being rudely woken up, essentially, and then you're just like, ugh, and then it doesn't feel like you got any sleep. So, how long is a sleep cycle? I searched that too. Typical sleep cycle lasts about 90 to 110 minutes over the course of a full night. Most people go through four to six of these cycles. So, what I have been doing to help myself to give me a little bit more time to work on my business during the quiet hour while my kids are sleeping without having to just stay up super late when I'm already tired and I can't even think straight because I have realized I have to have some kind of sleep. Because when I am sleep deprived, I'm like a zombie. I'm running off of instinct and it my processing time is a lot slower. I will literally stand in the middle of the kitchen thinking to myself, what am I supposed to be doing right now? What should I be doing? I know I need to take him to school. Okay, are his snacks packed? Is his lunch packed? Did I make a lunch? Do I need to get a lunch? I need to get a lunch because I forgot to make lunch. What time do I need to leave? Oh, it's getting close to that time. Is he ready? Like my processing time, way slower when I'm sleep deprived. So, what I started doing is typically my kids, more so my two younger ones, once they are sleep, that is when I go to bed. Unless if I have something to do, like last night I was doing some cleaning to get ahead and not have to worry about it today. So that way I could do a bit more within my business so I could work on my website. Once my little ones go to bed, I go to bed. I make sure my older two are set and they know what time that they need to be laying down, and then I go to bed, or at least I try to get some kind of sleep. 10 p.m. is my ideal, you know, falling asleep time. It's my ideal time. And then I go based off of the 90-minute thing. So it's an hour and a half, and I try to wake up around one. I'm not gonna sit here and tell you that it's been consistent because it has not. There have been some days where my alarm will go off and I'll be like, I'm too tired to move and I'll go back to sleep. There have been some days where I get up and I feel energized and I'm like, okay, cool, let's go, let's go to work. Especially, I will say this, I have noticed when I have to get up and like move around more, like especially if my dog needs to go out, like she's whining. I know she needs to go out and my husband's still sleeping, and I take her out. That process of having to get her ready, take her outside, and then bring her back in, fix her food, all of that, all that movement, it wakes me up. So that is another thing. Exercise, I've heard, helps some people wake up. So if you're experiencing like, okay, well, when I wake up, I have a hard time getting up. If you, if you get up and maybe do like some stretches or some some walking, even if it's like walking around your room, walking around the house, whatever it is, if you get some movement going, that might help you wake up. Yeah, a little sidebar. There have also been times where I slept through my alarm and I was like, well, wait, what happened? Why is it five o'clock? What happened? Where did the time go? So it's not perfect, but I have had days where it was successful. So, what I would recommend to you is figure out what your day looks like and what you need as far as sleep. If you are the type of person that's like, I'm a night owl, I can stay up until 12 a.m., you know, doing stuff, and then I can go to sleep and be okay the next morning. Do that. Once your kids go to bed, stay up until 12, doing what you gotta do, and then go to bed. So that way you can get sleep. If you're the type of person that's like, I am absolutely out of it, you might be like me, I'm out of it by the end of the day. All my energy is gone, I can't even think straight. Then you might need to go to bed as soon as you can, and then just try to get up a little early. And that does not mean that you have to do the three-hour thing like I am. You could just get up an hour earlier, maybe two hours, so that way you're still getting enough sleep, whatever you need to make it work without fully sacrificing your health, because it's still a sacrifice, no matter how you decide to do it, it's still some kind of sacrifice. I will also say that um it's not gonna be perfect. What also helps me is having a set list of tasks that I know I need to work on because I've told people this and I've realized it myself. I thrive with having a clear direction, a clear set of tasks, kind of like in a regular job, even though I hate being told what to do. If I know what I'm supposed to do as soon as I clock in and I get into that routine, it becomes easier for me, it becomes faster. So if you struggle with figuring out what to do, make a list of tasks. What is it that needs to get done? So that way you figure out what you need to do. Once you sit at your desk or sit up and grab your laptop, tablet, phone, whatever it is you work from, once you figure out what you need to do and you have your set list, it'll be a lot easier to jump into work instead of spending 30 minutes trying to figure out what you should be doing. I struggle with that too. So that's why I try to make a list. You can make the list before you go to bed, you can make the list the day before, week before you can set out your tests for the whole week of what you want to do each day. Whatever works best for you. I know you can do it. There is a way to make this work with kids, with infants, with teenagers. No matter how old your kids are, no matter how many you have, it is possible. It will not be easy, but it is possible. Just make sure that you're taking care of yourself. Even if you do three days of getting up early or going to bed extra late so that way you can get work done. Maybe take another day or two to just fully sleep and rest. Make sure you're taking care of yourself. Because I also, from my understanding, sleep deprivation affects your health in ways in long-term effects, lowering your lifespan or life expectancy, heart disease, things like that. And we don't want that. We want to be healthy, but we also know that our time is extremely limited. So I leave you with that, and I hope it was helpful in some way, shape, or form. Thank you so much for tuning in. I have started to build out my website page. I'm setting up a very simple one-page website so that way while the whole thing is under construction with my new branding, I have something for you guys to take a look at. There is going to be a contact form for if you want to be a podcast guest. And there's also going to be a form if you want to recommend someone to be a guest. In the meantime, between time, you can email me at hello at tbdesignloft.com. And if you want to work with me, you can also go to TB Design Loft. Thank you so much for tuning in. I will see you in the next one. Thanks for listening to the Mom Boss Like a Boss podcast. If you have any thoughts on the episode, please feel free to reach out to me on threads or Instagram. You can find me at the Creative Altruist, all one word, no spaces, underscores, or periods. It'll also be right there in the description. Until next time.