Hail Mary In Heels - Coach Mikki

Opinions Are Not Your Reaility- S2E6

• Coach Mikki • Season 2 • Episode 6

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Bring it in: this is a huddle about power—specifically, the power you’ve been handing to other people’s opinions without noticing. We go straight at the sneaky ways outside voices turn into inner limits, how “reasonable” comments can derail big goals, and what it takes to build a filter that protects your belief while staying open to real growth. If you’ve ever shrunk your dream because someone else couldn’t see it, this conversation puts the ball back in your hands.

Ready to make your belief louder than their doubt? Hit play, huddle up, and then share this with someone who needs a reset. If the message hits home, subscribe, rate, and leave a review—it helps us rally more people to start strong, finish strong, and dominate everything between.

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Okay, bring it in. Bring it in. I'm excited to have you here in our huddle. And if this is your first time on my field, bring it in. Get comfortable. Glad you're part of my team. And we are a team of women who are here to lift you up, cheer you on, and hopefully transform your life. And a lot of my guests come on, and including myself, I'd like to be able to share insight that's going to help you make setbacks into comebacks and make you this extraordinary woman that you are meant to be, because you were not meant to sit on the sideline of your own life. So let's lace it up, let's lock it up, and let's run a play together because today we are going to talk about not letting opinions become your reality. And oh my gosh, I think this is one that needs to be addressed all the time, whether it's on the field, off the field, in a boardroom, uh, at home. It doesn't matter where you are. I've just seen it time and time again. And there's always going to be voices in your life, and some are going to be loud, some are going to be subtle, some are going to think they mean well, some will just be absolutely just reckless. And they're going to show up in different people, whether it's colleagues, parents, friends, maybe teammates, co-workers, maybe just a stranger or some critic on the internet. But it's always something that just echoes in your head. And it could have been just years ago, and it's still something that lives rent-free in your head. And the danger of this opinion is it's not the opinion itself, it's just that it's taken root inside you and it's started to shape you into who you think you are. And that's when it becomes really difficult because we have to overcome that lie we have been telling ourselves for years or however long we've been carrying it around. And at some point, we've all picked up an opinion that was not ours. And then we just keep carrying it around like it's the truth, just because somebody said it with confidence and authority. Uh could have been something simple as uh that's not gonna work. Uh, that isn't for you. You're way out of your league. Um, you're not good enough. You're not being realistic. Uh, this is something that you needed to do before, and you're it's too late. Uh, maybe it's you don't fit there, or you're always going to be heavier, you're always going to do this. You know, the fact when people are always pointing, saying you're always going to, that usually should be a red flag for you to recognize is this a truth or is this an opinion? Unfortunately, there's going to be a world of people willing to hand you out your limitations. And the reason I call them limitations is because a lot of times opinions are something that someone shouts out being reckless and not aware of what they're saying, because they set the limitations on themselves. So they don't want other people to succeed or they don't think they can do it. And one of the things that has set me uh into doing the things that I do is that I had to realize that people's opinions don't mean anything when it comes down to doing what you really want. And I had to create a pretty strong filter. I mean, I really did. I had to make a strong internal filter if I wanted to start living the life that I really wanted to do and put aside all the other fears and start seeing my potential and not allowing others' opinions to really become my reality. And opinions are easy. I mean, everybody's got one. You've heard the saying, I don't need to say it. Opinions are like elbows. Everybody has one. And for those of you that know the other version, you get what I mean. However, when we look at people's opinions, let's take into consideration and factor in the fact it's their upbringing, maybe it's their own insecurity, maybe their bias, jealousy, maybe it's a culture they grew up in, or again, maybe it's just the limits on their own that uh doesn't allow them to have the courage to start or do something so they can't see how other people can do it. So when you're trying to do something that really makes you happy and you start something new and you share it with someone, a lot of times they just can't see it through your lens. And I'm gonna give credit to uh Trent, he is a motivational speaker, and I've forgive me, I can't remember his last name, but I heard overheard him on an event one time. And one of the things he described was seeing things through other people's lenses, and he had described how wearing somebody's glasses, they're not made for you. That's their prescription. Like if you took someone who's far-sighted and you put on their glasses, but you see fine, far-sighted, and you go, My gosh, how do you see through those? Well, it's not because they were meant for you, it was made for them, and that's how I look at opinions and perspective. Just because you have a perspective or you have an opinion, it means that you are not seeing what I'm seeing through my lenses. And a lot of times that has helped me look at people and maybe have a little bit of compassion or have the strength within myself to go, okay, you're just not seeing what I'm seeing, but I'm not gonna hold that personally, and nor am I going to judge you on that, nor am I gonna take that information and live by it either, because you can't see what I see. And I think if you want to live a life with purpose, then you have to become fluent in separating opinions and look at it two different ways. Is it opinion or is it feedback? And when it's feedback, feedback is gonna help you grow, it's gonna help you thrive, it's gonna help you see things, maybe at a different, different level, different perspective. And I'm okay with that. I'm okay with saying, okay, you know what, maybe this is something I need to consider, or maybe I didn't think of that, and I'm okay with that as feedback. But when it's an opinion, I have to look at it and go, okay, am I confusing the two? Because is this something you were telling me because I need to hear it, or it's good for me, or is this something that you're just shouting out and that I need to swallow and it's destructive? And you can hear someone's opinion or their feedback or their information, but you don't have to let it become your inner narrative. You just don't. Uh, it's something where you have to weed it out and look at it. And when you're stepping out of your comfort zone and you're doing something and you're chasing something big, uh there's going to be other people that are threatened by your dream because they're not pursuing theirs. And you're not doing anything wrong, and you have courage, and it reveals so many good things about you that a lot of times they don't even know where to start or what to do. And they'll they'll step back with hesitation. And instead of looking at it inner inner wise, you know, into their inner locker room, into their inner thought process, their inner mindset, they're too quick to judge. And it's so easy to blurt out this isn't going to work. Uh, and they don't have any evidence. And it's because they don't know your capability, they don't know what your pot what your why is. And maybe it's just because they can't simply imagine doing it themselves. And I'm going to share a story with you, and it stuck with me, and this was actually a huge turning point in my life, and this was uh way before I started coaching football. So I had had a dream that I really wanted to be an Olympic athlete. Now, a lot of things I'm doing were were difficult, and and I started uh at a later age, and I thought, well, you know what? I'm running 5Ks, I'm running 10Ks, I'm running marathons. Maybe I can, I was a cross-country runner in high school, and I thought, you know what, maybe I can become an Olympic runner. And I thought, you know, I'm pretty close. I just got to shave off some time and I had to get better. And I had the time to train. I did. I still had plenty of time to train. And I was looking at it going, okay, I got this. I know I can do it. And I kept training and working. Well, a lot of times I couldn't get outside because of my work schedule to run, so I'd run on my treadmill. And my training wasn't glamorous, it was basically get on the treadmill, run, uh run it on an incline, you know. And I did it relentlessly every day. And I was watching what I was eating, I was taking care of my body, I was my times were improving. I went and bought really good shoes. I was I was looking into getting coaching to help me uh become a better runner. So I was reaching out with that, and I was I was really excited about this. But then I made the mistake of trusting my dream by telling someone, and within one conversation, that whole thing was crushed. And I'll never forget, I was I was in my living room, it was after a 10-mile run on the treadmill, and uh it was said to me, I know you're trained to be an Olympic runner, but you know it's close to impossible, right? And then he went on to describe how Olympic athletes have been training their whole lives, where they're younger, they're more conditioned, they're already way ahead. And as I stood there, all I could hear was, I'm too old, it's too late, I'm too far behind, I can never catch up. This is not gonna work, I'm not training right. And I I kept going a little bit. I I there was some more time, but it just kept running through my head. And what he had said didn't come out with cruelty, it was more dangerous because his opinion was lethal to me. And I I I just couldn't, I couldn't override the evidence of my own work and my progress in my body, and and I didn't stop to think, well, what if I can? And I started and accepted, hmm, maybe he's right. So I quit. And not all quitting is gonna look dramatic. Sometimes it's quiet, sometimes it's backing away, sometimes it's just convincing yourself you're being uh realistic now. Sometimes it's calling it maturity when uh you you really know deep down in your heart that it was something you had, but someone else has convinced you that maybe you're being silly. And you know here's something I want you to understand the moment you stop chasing a dream because of someone else's opinion, it doesn't end the dream, it just teaches you a dangerous habit. And you start to outsource your own self-belief and you start asking for permission, and you start shrinking in your goals before everyone else has to say, Oh yeah, yeah, that you know, and and you have to look for exception. And so for a long time I carried around that decision and I and I never questioned it until I learned something that just totally stopped me in my tracks, and actually it was heartbreaking to me. Because unbeknown to me, while I was training and questioning myself and ultimately stepping away, there was another woman in Alaska who was doing the same thing under the same circumstances, who was the same age, with the same roots, same endurance, same background, same age, same reality. And she had hadn't had uh an elite athletic background. And she was training on her treadmill, uh, and she wasn't doing it because she had no other option, but she was doing it because, well, excuse me, she was doing it because she couldn't get outside because it was in Alaska, so that was her best way to to uh to train. And she didn't wait for the perfect conditions, and she did what she had to do, and she didn't let opinions decide her ceiling. And she qualified for the Olympics. It was uh Christine Clark. And let that sit in for a moment. Same age, same foundation, similar training, different outcome. The different wasn't her talent, wasn't genetics, wasn't her timing, it was her belief. She just didn't allow anyone else to overwrite her own commitment. She didn't confuse an opinion with a verdict, she just kept going. And for a while I kind of lived with resentment and regret. But then I learned something, and I I took, I took it very strong to heart because I took that lesson and I took what happened and I used it towards the next thing that I wanted in my life, and that was coaching football. And when I decided to become a football coach, I didn't care what anybody said. I knew it was going to be hard, I knew it was going to be difficult, I knew this was going to be something that I was going to be up against a lot. And instead of listening to all the reasons of why I couldn't or I shouldn't, instead of shrinking and thinking maybe they were right, I really got mad. I mean, I got really pissed. I got pissed off when anybody told me I couldn't do something because I knew what I was capable of, and I knew it was going to be difficult. I knew it required support, not doubt. And that was the day I asked myself a simple question. Why am I letting someone who isn't living my life tell me how far I can get in it? And I I really thought about the other thing that came to me was why am I allowing someone else's opinion to become my reality? I think that question changed everything. It was the moment I realized opinions only have the power you grant them. And the opinion is nothing more than a sentence made of air unless you give it a home in your mind. And once you understand that, you become unstoppable. See, people are never going to see the full picture of who you are and what you're capable of capable of. They don't see your work behind the scenes, your late nights, the prayers, your discipline, your quiet determination. They don't know what you're going through, what you've already fought through, the strength that you've already built. They only see a snapshot. They can only let what they know in their own mind get through. And that is what's going to be able to send out judgment as a single thing to define the whole game. And I just I had it, I had to really sit down and understand this. And I'm sharing this with you because I know that a lot of you listening are up against things you're trying to do. And there's always that one person or something that's maybe the little voice in your head that reminds you of why you can't or why you shouldn't. And you've got to be able to reprogram that and change it or cut it. You know, I always say when something's not serving you, cut it from your team, it's not worth it because it's never going to help you excel. There is a way to be able to do this. You got to start guarding your mind from opinions, have clarity of exactly what you want, and stay open and teachable without allowing yourself to be shaped by voices that don't align with where you're going. You can take feedback and look at things, but only you can decide: does this work for you? You don't need to live for everybody's approval. The moment you realize that is the moment you become free and you begin stepping into your calling with confidence instead of any kind of hesitation. And you're going to start taking risks and you're going to start speaking up, and you will stop shrinking or feeling like you're not good enough, and you'll start standing up a little bit stronger and a little bit straighter and realize that you've got this. Even if you're not ready, just knowing that you have it within you to do it is going to be all the energy and courage that you're going to need. So you're not here to fit in with the expectations of others. Yeah. You know, you are here to live for yourself. You are here to prove to yourself that you hold everything you need with inside you. And because at the end of the day, the only opinion that truly matters is the one that you hold about yourself. And that inner voice determines your direction, your courage, and your resilience. Strengthen it, nourish it, protect it, let it become louder than the noises around you. And when you believe in yourself deeply, excuse me, when you believe in yourself deeply and unapologetically, you will stop absorbing the limitations that were never yours to carry in the first place. So let's bring it in and we are going to break on courage today. Bring it in and ready on me. So I want you to start strong, finish strong, and dominate everything between. I mean, one, two, three, courage. Let's go.