Self-Belief Is Not an Option, It’s a Priority! - S2E2

Ready to step off the sidelines and into your own game? Coach Mikki  takes you into the huddle for a raw, field-tested look at self-belief, how it erodes, how to rebuild it, and how to keep it strong when every eye seems to be waiting for you to fail.  No empty hype, just real stories from seventeen years on football fields where acceptance wasn’t given and confidence had to be earned in public.
If you’ve ever asked who am I to do this, this conversation hands you a new script: I’ve got this, do the next right thing. Walk away with a clear plan to start today, protect your momentum, and write your own playbook, on the field, at work, or at home. Hit follow, share this with a friend who needs a lift, and leave a review to tell us the bold move you’re making next.

Chapters

• 0:33 Welcome To The Huddle
• 1:22 Naming The Problem: Self-Belief
• 2:17 Where Confidence Gets Lost
• 4:35 Seventeen Years Proving It On Field
• 5:27 Stop Waiting For Validation
• 7:35 Obstacles, Failure, And Resilience
• 9:04 Let People Learn By Doing
• 10:02 Rewrite Your Self-Talk
• 10:55 Choose Yourself And Move
• 11:21 Final Huddle And Rally Cry

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:19

Okay, bring it in, bring it in, listen up. Hi, I'm Coach Mickey, and you are here on Hail Marion Heels. And if this is your first time on my field, well, come on in, join my huddle, and right here we are going to get down to work. So if you are ready to lock it in and lace it up and get out there and get gritty and dirty, then you are in the right place. And I am going to talk about something today that I really think that we kind of overlook, not only as women, but I've just seen it through the years, whether it's on the field, off the field, with my kids, with women I work with, just in general, I think it's something that we have let go of. We need to rebuild, we need to reclaim. And that is self-belief. Now, I know that's something crazy where you're like, well, I think I got this, and I know this, but thinking you have it and knowing you have it is two different things. And I was thinking about this prior to doing this uh video. I know that a lot of times on the field, especially during games, I have gone to my guys to say to them, you've got this. I know you've got this, especially when they've come off the field after having something go wrong or something transpired, or maybe things didn't go the way we had planned. And they start to doubt, they start to lose their self-belief. And for me as a coach, my main purpose and goal and responsibility is to let each and every one of these guys know that they have everything they need in them to do what they need to do. So what happened? Where down the road do we seem to lose our self-belief? And I think it's when we start waiting for permission or we start waiting for the right time, or we think we're supposed to earn it instead of knowing that is something that we already have within us. And all we need to do is recapture that. Because somewhere along the line, we were either taught or somebody said something, or it was something that we heard or was said to us directly that led us to believe that we weren't good enough, that we were second class, that we needed to uh be grateful for where we are and who we are and not worry about anything else. And looking at all that, I can tell you, I'm sorry that doesn't sit well with me. At least not today, it doesn't. There was a time where it did, where I stepped back and I was quiet and I just kept my mouth shut and I just took it all in and I let things transpire and I didn't want to rock the boat. And now I'm at a point where if I don't step up and say something and do what I believe is right and do what's right for me, I'm gonna get walked all over. And that is probably exactly what's happening to you. If you've got any doubt with yourself and within your own self-belief. So when we're talking about self-belief, I know it is something that a lot of us have to really dig down and go, but I do I have this? Am I good enough? And we don't wake up one day and go, um, I don't think I'll believe in myself today. No, this is stuff that has been conditioned to us over and over and over through the years, through time, through things that have been said, through opinions, through conditioning of what things are supposed to be like or who you're supposed to be. And my thought is why the hell does everybody think that they can live your life better than you? And that was something I had to come to grips with. It was, you know, you need to be nice. You know, don't, don't say too much. Uh, who do you think you are? Especially who the hell do you think you are walking onto a football field as a woman when you've never played the game? Now, in my 17 years, I've had to step up and just have the most incredible ambition and believe in myself without any doubt that I can do this job. And it's never been easy. And it's not something where everybody welcomes me with open arms. Every single year on every single field, I have to go out there and prove myself. However, what I don't allow is I don't allow them to take away who I am and what I know I believe in my heart that I can do. And a lot of times we seem to always think, okay, well, I have to feel ready, or it wasn't right, or I'm waiting to be validated, or maybe there's something more that I need to learn before I can step into this position. And if you wait, you're going to be waiting the rest of your life. There's never going to be a right time. There's never going to be the perfect opportunity. There's never going to be somebody giving you approval. I've dealt with more crap thrown at me than any kind of approval or validation until I actually got out there and they looked at me and said, okay, this gal knows what she's doing. So I couldn't wait. I had to have that self-belief. And if I can have the gumption and the strength to walk out on a field where I know I've got every single pair of eyes looking at me, waiting for me to fail, then think about what you want to do. And where do you stand and where is it something that you can move forward with? If I waited for all the validation and the time to be right and everything to be perfect, I would still be sitting on the sidelines of my own life. And especially as women, we have to actually step up and reclaim who we are. And whether you're a woman, a man, or a teenager, wherever you are, whatever you want to do, everything you need is already with inside you. And you've got to have that strong identity of who you are and believe everything you've got is everything you need to be able to move forward. Now, it may be in small steps and it may be that you have to take one little thing at a time, but I guarantee as you do it, you will start compounding all the success that you're going to need to move forward. And it'll keep building that self-belief and that self-confidence. A lot of times I think we're programmed to think that we're not enough or we're not good enough or we don't have it within us. And that's all this stuff that you have to just, you have to just take it out and delete it out of the mainframe of the mind and the little voices in your head and tell them to just shut the hell up. Because if you listen to them, you're never going to move forward. And I've had to learn many times, especially when I've come off the field and I realize that I've had a lot of resistance, or I've had to adapt, or I've had to dig down and have my own strength to be able to go out and do what I know I'm capable of doing. But what I didn't allow was I didn't allow other people to take that away from me. And it's never going to be easy and it's going to be hard. And I'm not going to lie to you or sugarcoat and say, oh, just get out there and do it, and everything will be great. That's not true. You're going to go out there and you're going to hit some obstacles and you're going to have some difficult times. You might even have times where you fail. And there's going to be other times where maybe things don't go the way you think that they're going to go. But when you believe in yourself, you will take everything that has happened and you will realize that it's only one small obstacle. And whether you have to go around it, over it, blow through it, or just whatever you need to do to get by it, only you can do that. Because I guarantee there's going to be times where you are going to reach that roadblock and you're going to reach that obstacle. But if you believe in yourself, you'll know you have everything within you to get through it. And we have to do it daily. I mean, it's a daily thing, it's a daily repetition, it's a daily belief system. It's every single time you think you're going to get hit or sideswiped, you have to know that you've got this. I always think of kids. I love when I see small children and especially little ones, and they go to do something, they're like, I got it, I can do this. And they know without a doubt, even if they don't know how to do it, they are so determined to do it and get it done. It's usually one adult comes in and goes, here, let me do that, or here, let me get that for you. Or instead of stopping, let them make their mistakes or show them how to do it, even if it takes 10 times. That's what builds the self-esteem and the self-belief. Too many times we want to do it for everybody else because we think we can do it better. But what we're doing is we're really taking away the growth and the ability for someone to be able to make their own mistakes so they can grow and do what they need to do for themselves. Now, I have to look at a lot of times when I hear those self-talk things in my own head. Is this the same things that I would say to a teammate? Is this the same things that I would say to my kids? Are these the same things that I would say to my dear friends and say, you know, maybe, maybe this wasn't meant for you? I wouldn't say that to them. I'd give them all the reasons why they can. I'd be lifting them up. So why would we do that with ourselves? Why do we not lift our own selves up? Why do we always have to take the path that always talks us out of what we want to do? So you're going to have to change that self-talk. You're going to have to change and build that self-confidence. And you're going to have to choose yourself. You're going to have to choose you. You're going to have to choose that you've got it with everything that you have within you. Because I know that you do, you have the ability to move forward in everything that you want, in the time frame that you want. And also knowing that even if you haven't started it and you started today, that's the first step to reclaiming your power. So I want you to get out there and I want you to get strong in your conviction of who you are, what you want, and what you want to do, and keep moving forward and pick yourself up. You are not meant to sit on the bench in your own life. Get out there, write your own playbook and make it happen. Because I know you've got everything in you that you need. So let's bring it in and let's break. And I want you to break today on self belief because I know you have this and have the courage to do it. So ready on me, on three. One, two, three, self belief. I'm Coach Mickey. Let's go.