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Hail Mary In Heels - Coach Mikki
Bring It in!!
I’m Coach Mikki, football coach, Transformational leader, and mindset mentor.
For over 17 years, I’ve coached in a male-dominated sport, proving that toughness, leadership, and passion have no gender.
I created Hail Mary in Heels for every woman who’s ever been told she doesn’t belong on the field, in the boardroom, or in the game. This podcast is where strength meets style, faith meets fight, and ambition meets authenticity.
Each week, we dive into real conversations about leadership, mindset, courage, and breaking barriers, on and off the field. Whether you’re chasing dreams, rebuilding after a setback, or calling your own play in life, this is your huddle for inspiration, strategy, and unapologetic toughness.
Because sometimes, life calls for a bold move, a Hail Mary, and we do it in heels.
Start Strong - Finish Strong - Dominate Everything In Between!! - Coach Mikki
Hail Mary In Heels - Coach Mikki
When You Can’t Change Them, Change Yourself - S2E5
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What if the situation won’t change because it’s meant to change you first? Coach Mikki opens up about the cost of trying to control other people’s choices and shares the turning point that moved him from constant firefighting to focused self-mastery. The story starts with burnout at home, connects to coaching lessons on the field, and lands on a practical playbook: own your response, set firm boundaries, and build daily habits that make you unshakable under pressure.
We dig into the tension between love and enabling, and why being the family “referee” keeps everyone stuck. You’ll hear how to retire outdated coping mechanisms, choose identity over impulse, and stop asking “why won’t this change?” in favor of “what is this shaping in me?” From turf conditions to tough conversations, the rule holds: you don’t control outcomes, you control execution. That shift changes your posture, your voice, and your presence—often more than any speech can.
If you’re navigating workplace drama, relationship conflict, or cycles that never seem to end, this is a clear path forward. Learn how to meet people where they are without abandoning yourself, how to model what’s acceptable with calm consistency, and how to turn setbacks into training for a stronger comeback. We close with a team rally that locks the mindset: keep showing up, keep doing the inner work, and practice being the MVP of your own life.
If this resonated, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs a reset, and leave a quick review to help more people find the huddle.
Okay, bring it in. Bring it in. Listen up. Hey, I'm Coach Mickey, and you're here on Hail Marion Heels. And if you're ready to lace it up and lock it in today and be part of a team that's ready to make changes in their life, well, welcome to my field. And today I want to talk about something that I think we can all benefit from because I've seen this on and off the field. When we are no longer able to change our situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. I'm going to read that again. We are no longer able to change our situation. We are challenged to change ourselves. Now I I know this is pretty in depth, and I'm going to kind of go through this a little bit because I think what's happened on many occasions, and even in my own uh household and family life, is I can't change the situation. The situation is it is what it is transpiring with other people that I'm surrounding myself with. And it got to the point where it was just absolutely draining me, draining me to the point where I couldn't find any happiness, I couldn't find any joy, just the continual anger and fighting and just the the just the whole thing is just was sucking the life out of me. And I had to really take a look at myself and say, okay, so what am I gonna do with this? Because there's moments in life where you've done everything you know how to do. You've tried talking, you've tried fixing it, you've tried fighting through it, you you you've tried forcing it, you've given up sometimes, you've just sit quiet and or you just try to do everything and anything to be that referee in everybody's life, and nothing changes. Um that is one of the hardest things because I realize that you cannot develop personally when you are trying to change your outside circumstances. And I've I've kind of explained this on the field, and it hit me in my own life because I've had games with my guys where the team was faster, they were stronger, they were bigger, um, or it rained, or the field was grass where we were used to astroturf, or it was just some other element was shown or thrown at us. And I always tell my guys, look, don't focus on that. You're only responsible for what you can do. You're only responsible for taking the information that you have and implementing it and executing it and using it to your ability. Forget about the outside elements. Yes, they're going to be some kind of a factor, but you can't allow it to be the main focus of everything that you're doing. And what a hypocrite I am. Because here I am telling my guys this, and then I come home to my own life and I look at this and I'm like, oh my God. So I really had to take some serious time to focus on this and do some self-growth. And I'm in the process of making some serious changes. But I wanted to share this with you guys because I can tell you what's happened. You know, when I kept thinking I could change the circumstances, especially when it's around people you love, the only thing I ended up getting was frustrated and tired. And then I kept thinking, what in the hell is happening to me? And why am I feeling the way I do? And sometimes life doesn't change because you're not meant to escape it. You were meant to be shaped by it. And I realized that and I thought, I've got to start looking at what's beneficial for me, not what's happening around me because I have no control. And I've said it time and time again, and many, many times. You can't control other people's actions. You can only control how you respond to it. You can only control how you work with it and work around it, or how you use it to identify what you want to do. And I think we do this uh looking around us and other people because we think changing the situation feels easier than changing ourselves. And that is, there's some element to that, and I think there's some truth to that. But we're here to be able to take an inner look at who we are and how we can evolve and how we can change. And how do we learn how to do that? Because it's not easy. I've even had to step back and go, okay, I got to take responsibility without blaming everybody around me. I have to let go of who I think I am to who I really need to be. And instead of always trying to fix everything because everybody counts on me to do it, I have to step back and go, you know, no, I have I have outgrown these old coping mechanisms. I've outgrown trying to do the same thing. I'm tired of facing the same habits and the same beliefs and the same patterns that are limiting me just because the people around me choose to keep living that lifestyle. And you can't control the outcome. You can only control your response, just like I said before. And this is this is, I think, the time where a lot of us decide to either give up or start going forward. And and I know that it's it's not easy, it really isn't, because a lot of times it's gonna take a lot of self-discipline. It's gonna take getting down and really having the right mindset. And a lot of it is you have to ask yourself, even just to sit for a second, and this is what I had to do, is who am I becoming in this season of my life? Because I can tell you, the prior seasons that I have dealt with, I don't like it. I don't like how I've I've evolved, I don't like how things have transpired, I don't even like how things are happening around me. And I just know that uh what needs to change is myself because I can't change other people. Um, and I'm not gonna apologize for it. And I know that uh things will finally get easier once I start stepping up and being a little bit more disciplined, self-aware, and resilient around the things that I need to do in my life to be able to alleviate a lot of this frustration and and to just not dispute, but to I guess let go. And if the anger is going to exist, let it exist between them. I I don't need to be part of this. I don't want to be responsible and feel the way I do with the constant uh anger and and frustration. And a lot of it is is really difficult. And I got just got to stop asking myself, why won't this change? And I have to start asking myself, what is this developing in me? And I don't like it. I don't. So if a lot of you are dealing with the same stuff, whether it's at work, whether it's in a relationship, whether it's something in your environment, whether it's something that's happening around you, keep in mind you cannot control other people. You can only change and work with what you have within yourself. And you need to go from being stuck to being strengthened, you need to go from just surviving to evolving. And I have to learn that. And I'm I'm trying to step myself on solid ground with who I am, what I want, and where I'm going. And it doesn't mean that I've given up on my family. It doesn't mean that I don't love them. It doesn't mean that things are uh, you know, different based on who they are in my life. I've just learned to meet them where they are and realize I don't have to be the one fixing it. I don't have to be the one that has to accept it, I don't have to be the one that swallows it. Every single time something goes wrong, something happens, or something flares up. I have learned to just remove myself from it. And that's for my own self-survival. And they're either going to fix it themselves or they'll continue on doing what they're doing. But I've learned for myself that I don't have to be the one that has to take part in it. And I really am very proud of myself. And I wanted to share this with you because I've learned to just stop reacting and stop thinking that I can make things different. And I stand a lot different, I move a lot different, I speak a lot differently, and I'm actually changing inside. And hopefully the situation will eventually change too. And maybe I just need to lead by example on what's acceptable and what's not. And whether they get it or not, that's up to them. But I know for me going forward that I have to be strong in myself. And I have to be able to rewrite my future. And I also know what habits I need to have to strengthen me from not only from the outside, but from the inside. And I want to be strong in the version of me that I want to be seen that emerges every single day. And that's what I'm preparing for. I'm preparing to have this ability to make a difference, positive changes in other people's lives. And that's why a lot of times I share these stories with you because I know if I'm experiencing this, I know damn well a lot of you are also. And I want you to know that you're not out there alone. We're a team, and a team shares their experiences, they share their weaknesses, they share their victories. We share and lift each other up. And I know that you have a stronger you inside you. And I know you can take the setback you're dealing with and make it into a strong comeback that no one can take away from you. So I want you to just keep showing up, keep doing the inner work, and remember that we are always practicing to be the MVP in our own lives. And I'm very proud of you for getting out there and doing what you do. So let's keep moving forward. So today we're gonna break on three a stronger me. So let's bring it in and let's break. On me, on three. One, two, three, stronger me. I'm Coach Mickey. Let's go.