Episode 108: The Christmas Bill That Is Still Here in June

The Christmas bill is still here. And it is June.

If you have been making payments since the new year and the balance is moving slower than you hoped, you are in good company. Researchers describe what you are feeling as a loop, and the way out has almost nothing to do with the numbers.

This episode is for the woman who thought this would be gone by now. The woman who feels a little tug of “should have known better” every time she taps the banking app. We are looking at why a lingering bill feels heavier than the number on the screen, what the research actually says about financial stress and mental well-being, and one small thing you can do this week without spreadsheets, math, or guilt.

Here is what you will walk away with:

a clear way to see what the bill is and is not, a fresh handle on the difference between responsibility and shame, and a small first step that meets you exactly where you are.

SCRIPTURE HIGHLIGHT: Proverbs 24:16.

Research note: Financial Health Network on the connection between financial stress and mental well-being.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hi there, and welcome to your next best step. I'm Coach Janet J, and today we're talking about the Christmas bill that is still here in June. Settle in. This is for the woman who has been making payments since the new year and would love a little exhale around money this summer. The Christmas bill is still here, and it is June. Maybe you've been making payments since the new year. Maybe the balance is moving slower than you hoped. Maybe every time you open the banking app, there is a little tug of should have known better. If any of that sounds familiar, you are in good company. And today we're going to talk about how to look at that bill without flinching. What you're feeling around that balance may have less to do with money than you think. Researchers describe it as a loop, and the way out of the loop has almost nothing to do with the numbers. Back in January in episode 40, Santa Shock, I mentioned that a chunk of Americans expected to still be paying off their holiday spending in June or later. And here we are, June. Hello. So this episode is for the woman who thought this would be gone by now. The woman who has been making payments and watching the balance move at the speed of a turtle on vacation. The woman who feels a little tug of should have known better every time she taps the app. Maybe it was travel to see family. Maybe it was gifts for the grandkids. Maybe it was hosting 12 people who all eat like they are training for something. Maybe it was a hundred small just this once moments that added up faster than you expected. Or maybe there are a few choices you would have handled differently now. You can take responsibility without taking a beating. That is where we're going today. Here is one of the funny, not so funny things about a lingering bill. The original moment is over. Christmas morning is over. The wrapping paper is long gone. The family gathering is a photo on your phone. The pie is a happy memory. The receipt is hanging around like a house guest who did not get the memo. January money stress has its own flavor. It's loud and a little dramatic. How did this happen? The shock is fresh. The decorations are actually still up. June has a different flavor. June sounds more like, why are you still here? And then sometimes in a smaller voice, why am I still dealing with this? The voice is somewhere shame likes to sneak in. And shame is sneaky. It dresses up like responsibility and hopes you will mix them up. Responsibility says, This happened, what is my next step? Shame says, this happened because something is wrong with me. Those two voices sound familiar for a half a second, then they go in very different directions. Responsibility moves you forward. Shame keeps you frozen on the couch with the banking app closed. And avoiding the statement makes perfect sense. Your nervous system is trying to protect you from discomfort. When something feels uncomfortable, your nervous system does not say, let us calmly evaluate the situation with a nice cup of tea. The nervous system says, nope, close the tab, we will deal with this in October. That is so human. The Financial Health Network, an organization that researches the connection between money and well-being, found that around four in ten Americans report moderate or high financial stress. And women tend to report higher levels of financial stress than men. If money has been taking up brain space, you are in good company. Most women are carrying around some version of this. The Financial Health Network also describes the relationship between financial stress and mental well-being as bidirectional, which is the technical way of saying they feed each other. Money stress can affect mood, sleep, and focus. And when mood, sleep, and focus are off, money decisions get harder. It's a loop. The way out of the loop has more to do with softening than with trying harder. Soft eyes, steady breath, and one honest sentence. That is the doorway. Our verse today is one I really love for this conversation. Proverbs 24, 16. For though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again. Seven times. Biblically, that is a poetic way of saying a lot. The verse holds two things together. The falling and the rising. Both belong to the righteous life. Rising again is part of righteousness. Getting back up is a part of faithfulness. Looking at the statement with an honest heart and a steady breath is part of wisdom. Rising again means this is not where the story ends. The bill is information, nothing more. It tells you a balance. It tells you something about timing, maybe something about interest, maybe something useful about next December. It does not tell you your worth, whether you're a good woman, or whether God is disappointed in you. He is not, by the way. He has seen worse. A quick note I am a coach. Financial advice is outside my lane. If you need real numbers help, please find a qualified professional. What I'm offering today is the emotional doorway because wise decisions are hard to make while shame is screaming in your ear. Here's how this lands across all four pillars of wellness. Mental, replace I'm bad with money with I am a human with a nervous system and I'm learning. Emotional, a lingering bill feels heavier than the number suggests. That heaviness is real and it has a reason. Physical, financial stress shows up in the body. Steady breath and softer eyes are not just nice ideas. They are nervous system care. Spiritual, Cod meets us in unfinished places. The honest look counts as worship. Your step for this week is one statement, just one. Not every account you've ever opened. Certainly not your whole financial life on a Tuesday afternoon. One, before you tap it open, put one hand on your chest or rest it on the table. Take a slow breath and tell yourself the truth. This is where I am and I am working on it. Then look at three things the balance, the minimum payment, the interest. That is it. If you have it in you to do more, write those three numbers down. If you have even more in you, pick one next action. Make a payment, set a reminder, talk with your spouse, call a credit counselor, or close the app and have a glass of water. That counts too. The win this week is looking without spiraling. Some of the most peaceful, most generous, most spiritually grounded women I know are right in the middle of paying something off. You can love Jesus and have a visa balance. You can be wise and still be learning. You can be a good steward and still be in process. Money progress is not always linear. Sometimes it looks like a balance going down by $12 and a triumphant fist pump in the kitchen. That counts. Next Christmas does not get to borrow peace from next June. You can decide right now in June that future you in December is going to get a kinder, more thoughtful, more rested version of you. Start a Christmas fund with $5 in July. Unsubscribe from the sale emails that whisper sweet nothings to you. Sketch the gift list in October instead of at 10 p.m. on December 23rd. None of that has to be perfect. It just has to be a little kinder than last year. One more thing before we close. God is right here with you in the honest look, in the small payment, in the awkward conversation with your spouse. In the moment you decide to do it differently this year. He meets us in unfinished places. That is his specialty. You don't have to hide the statement from him. His invitation is simple. Come to me here. Here with the numbers. Here with the lesson. Here with the next step. The Christmas bill may still be here in June. So are you. So is he. So as you head into the weekend, take this with you. A lingering bill feels heavier than the number because of the loop between financial stress and mental well-being. That loop is real. Proverbs 24, 16 says, The righteous fall and rise, and rising again is part of the same verse as the falling. Pull up one statement this week. Three numbers, one steady breath. The wind is looking without spiraling. This is educational and encouraging content. It does not replace financial or mental health advice from a qualified professional. On Monday, we're going somewhere a little lighter and a little dearer. The episode is called Popcorn Prayers, the short, scattered, real-life prayers you whisper while doing literally anything else. If you have ever wondered whether God hears the prayer you mumbled while folding the laundry, you want to be here for that one. Follow or subscribe wherever you are listening or watching so you do not miss an episode. I will see you on Monday. Take your next best step.