Episode 11: Confidence Is Sexy, Finding Your Power in the Lifestyle!

Confidence can make all the difference when navigating the swinging lifestyle. In this episode, we talk about why self-confidence is one of the most attractive qualities you can bring into the lifestyle and how it impacts everything from meeting new couples to enjoying play spaces and building real connections. We share their personal experiences from over 13 years in the lifestyle, discussing how confidence grows over time, how to overcome insecurities, and why authenticity always beats trying to be someone you’re not. From body confidence to social confidence, this conversation is all about embracing who you are and showing up with self-assurance. Whether you’re new to the lifestyle or have been part of it for years, this episode will remind you that the sexiest thing you can bring into the playroom is confidence. 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:09

Welcome to In the Playroom, the podcast where the doors are open, the lights are low, and nothing is off limits.

SPEAKER_00 0:16

We're your host, Jason and Stephanie. Each week, we're bringing you honest, unfiltered conversations from our personal journeys to the swinging lifestyle.

SPEAKER_01 0:24

Just a heads up, we are not professionals, therapists, or lifestyle experts. What we share here is based on our own real experiences. The good, the awkward, and the absolutely unforgettable.

SPEAKER_00 0:36

Whether you're curious, already exploring, or just love hearing what goes down behind closed doors, you've got a place right here with us.

SPEAKER_01 0:43

So kick off your shoes, pour a drink, and step into the playroom.

SPEAKER_00 1:05

It just kind of happened. And you know what? I'm gonna take it and we're gonna use this time to record a pretty good episode. I was actually thinking about this on my way home from work today. And, you know, last episode we talked about body positivity, right? And I made the comment in that episode that confidence is key. To me, confidence is sexy. Um confidence is very important. So what I want to talk about is why confidence is so important or having confidence is so important in the ethical non-monogamous lifestyle. So in in my opinion, um confidence will help build um like the play scenario.

SPEAKER_01 1:57

Oh yeah. Because I don't believe anybody has ever I wouldn't say builds the play scenario, but it enhances Yeah, yeah, correct.

SPEAKER_00 2:07

It enhances it. And that's because I don't think anybody has ever like had a play scenario with someone with piss poor confidence if that they don't believe in themselves um and had a good time.

SPEAKER_01 2:21

Well, I wouldn't say they didn't have a good time. I would say they didn't have a better time. Didn't have the the best that it could have been. It didn't have the it didn't it wasn't to the full potential of the situation.

SPEAKER_00 2:34

And it's also it's it's it's also based on that individual that has the self-doubt, the the the confidence issue.

SPEAKER_01 2:42

Obviously, they're not gonna give it their hundred percent, they're not going to be themselves I don't know, because there are times like if you don't have the confidence in yourself with the way you look, you might try to outperform the other person.

SPEAKER_00 2:59

No. Yeah, it's at the time whenever there's a confidence issue.

SPEAKER_01 3:03

No, I'll say this because that is that was me. Whenever I didn't feel like I was good enough, I would try to do everything in my power to make it to where like I gave the better blow job or I did whatever else to top the other person. So I wouldn't say that like it's not okay.

SPEAKER_00 3:22

Well, let's talk about like this, okay? Okay. We we've played with some some people that would just they were afraid to take their clothes off. And they would literally pull their dick out of the dickhole of their pants. Which was weird. Oh, yeah, it's very weird. Yeah. But and not to yoke their yum, but that I mean that has happened. Do you think that you would have enjoyed it more if they were naked? And do you think that they would have enjoyed it more if they just let loose and be themselves? Well, definitely.

SPEAKER_01 3:54

Definitely. Correct. But I mean, even that's that's my point. But even whenever I was having like when I had didn't have the full confidence that I have now, um I still like got completely naked. It was just I mean, it was just I don't know, it took me a while to realize that like it's okay because they wouldn't be in this position with me right now if they weren't interested.

SPEAKER_00 4:21

Yes, but um Yeah. Um and and that's that's that's you thinking about it. But the majority of people won't think that way. The majority of the people are gonna think, oh, well, they're here just because of my spouse, but I'm here because my spouse wants to be here and they're insecure about their body, they don't have the confidence that they have in their, you know, abilities. Well, whatever.

SPEAKER_01 4:43

I'm gonna stop you right there just because I don't like what how you said, well, I'm only here because my spouse wants to be here. Fuck that. Don't do it unless you want to do it.

SPEAKER_00 4:51

Correct. 100% correct.

SPEAKER_01 4:53

But that but we see that a lot in the lifestyle.

SPEAKER_00 4:55

And that's that's a communication aspect on it. That they need to be communicating on their wants and desires and do this as a team. And we said it since day one. Anytime you do or anytime there's any act within the lifestyle, you are doing this as a team, you're not doing this as an individual.

SPEAKER_03 5:14

No.

SPEAKER_00 5:14

If you if your partner goes to sleep at a hotel takeover and then you try to fucking sneak back into someone else's room, then you're fucking wrong.

SPEAKER_04 5:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:22

And you know, you're just you're just a dickhead. Whether you're male or female, it doesn't matter. You're a piece of shit.

SPEAKER_01 5:31

But to be honest, but I mean, we've also met people that like when one goes to bed, they've given full permission for the other partner to continue.

SPEAKER_00 5:40

Yes. And that's different. Yeah, that's different. Like, hey, y'all have fun. I'm going to sleep. You sure about that? Yeah, absolutely. But that's not what we're talking about.

SPEAKER_04 5:49

No.

SPEAKER_00 5:50

But what I also want to say is like I said earlier, or I said in the previous episode, that confidence is key. Like, if you're confident and you're you feel confident, you feel sexy, you act sexy, you're sexy to me.

SPEAKER_04 6:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:05

To me, confidence is a major, major uh attractor to me.

SPEAKER_04 6:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:11

And it is a huge turn on. Like in the swing and scene, self-assured, you know, energy draws people like in far more than physical appearance. Yeah. Like it it makes me go, oh, that this is gonna be fun. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 6:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:30

Positive and confident body language and vibes make someone magnetic. Like how you're how you're talking to them and the vibe, and just like, hey, I am who I am.

SPEAKER_04 6:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:45

Whether you like me or not, that's what I'm talking about.

SPEAKER_04 6:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:50

Like that is sexy to me. Like the I don't give a fuck what Tina says over there or whoever. Yeah, fuck Tina. But I don't give a fuck what Tina says over there. I am gonna be who I who I am. And I it's it's it's fun. To me, like you're gonna get the the genuine person. Yeah. The most genuine person at that time.

SPEAKER_02 7:17

No, I agree. No, I mean I I agree.

SPEAKER_01 7:22

Like if you I mean, if you're at a event or party or whatever else, and you see you well, you always see different types of people, but you'll always see the shy person kind of off to the corner, not really wanting to engage, that almost kind of comes off as unapproachable because they don't they they I don't know, they just have this timidness about them that almost looks scared or skittish, like you don't want to approach them. And then you have this confident, like I almost feel like it's a confident, like bubbly personality, but it's not they're not always like bubbly. I don't mean it like the bubbly personality, but I mean like the confident personality just seems like vibrant, full of energy, like they just seem like the person that wants to just have fun.

SPEAKER_00 8:21

And that brings me to my next point is when you're confident, it's easier for you to talk to people. Yeah, it's easier for you to engage in people or to engage with people. At first, like, and I'll and I'll be the first to admit, like, I've become less confident over the past year and a half. I really have. Like, there was at there was one point to where there's videos going around of me going upside down on a stripper pole and my going around? Well, I mean, we've sent it we've sent it around. We've sent it around. It's it's not that it's going around, we've sent it to people. But I there's videos of me going upside down on a stripper pole with literally just me and my boxers and my boots on. Cowboy boots, and you know, but the thing is, is like that made it so easy for people to come say hello, and that made it easier for me to go say hello. Yeah, because at face value, I am what I am at face value. If you whether you like me or you don't like me, I don't give a fuck. Yeah, I'm going to say hello. You can be the judge of that, and I'm still gonna be friendly regardless, but it makes it easier for us to talk to people. And when you are having your self, you know, self-body issues, I think my confidence would help us meet couples.

SPEAKER_01 9:45

Does that make like and I'm not trying to still to this day say like I just follow you, but it's really because I am the shy, awkward type that like I mean, I here lately I feel like I come off as confident like when we're meeting people, but I'm not gonna be the first one to say anything. Yeah, and that's my thing. I you lead the way because you are the first one to be like, hey, I'm Jason, and I'm like, hi.

SPEAKER_00 10:10

But I mean, but I mean it builds like it doesn't build, it just makes it easier to talk to people.

SPEAKER_01 10:17

But on this it makes it easier for people to approach you, yes, it does, but at the same time, I want to point out that there is a difference between being confident and sexy and just being downright cocky and like full of yourself.

SPEAKER_00 10:32

Are you calling me cocky and full of myself?

SPEAKER_01 10:34

No, no, I'm saying that like because I already said they're the shy person that kind of like seems unapproachable. There's a difference, and you can almost see it in them. That because there are two different types of confident people. It's the confident, like easy approachable, wants to have fun, very energetic, and that kind. And then there's the confident, cocky, full of themselves people that when you do approach them, if you do, can kind of come off as like asshole-ish.

SPEAKER_00 11:04

Oh, absol fucking lutely.

SPEAKER_01 11:05

I mean, there are two types of confident people, yeah. And it's the friendly, open, like just want to have fun, get to know everybody kind of person, and the confident, cocky person who is like, my shit don't stink kind of person.

SPEAKER_00 11:19

Yeah, don't be that fucking person.

SPEAKER_01 11:21

No, I would say that. That's my thing, is I've never and like you, I've you know, I've and we've said it before, like I am all about personality.

SPEAKER_00 11:32

And if you can make me laugh, but at the same time if you can make me laugh, you can make me what?

SPEAKER_01 11:38

Come.

SPEAKER_00 11:40

There you go.

SPEAKER_01 11:42

Don't be an asshole. I mean, the person, like, you can be confident, and we think we can like approach you because you come off kind of approachable, and sometimes they don't always come off as approachable because sometimes when they're that cocky and full of themselves, you don't want to approach them. But like, there's a difference between being confident and being cocky, and like, granted, cool, I'm proud of you for you know loving yourself to that extent, but yeah, but don't hate on other people and don't be a dick.

SPEAKER_00 12:15

But I'm gonna stop you right there because I think the ones that are cocky dislike themselves. I think the ones that are cocky that go, oh, I'm gonna be the best you ever had, or oh, I have a fucking perfect body, whatever else, those are the same ones that have majority of the self-image, like self-image issues.

SPEAKER_01 12:35

It could be, yeah. But I some of them I feel like it's just they're full of themselves and think, oh, you can't do any better than me.

SPEAKER_00 12:41

And you know, there is no popular crowd in the lifestyle. There isn't. We're we're all, we are all in the lifestyle together. Yeah. And that that was based on our last episode is like everybody's welcome. It doesn't matter your religion, it doesn't matter your political view, it doesn't matter your color, it doesn't matter your body size, it doesn't matter anything.

SPEAKER_01 13:02

Don't matter how much you have in your bank account.

SPEAKER_00 13:04

It doesn't, yeah, it doesn't matter what job you have or how much money you make. It does that has nothing to fucking do with it. What matters is are you a good person or are you a shitty person? Yeah, that's the only thing that matters on that aspect of it. Yeah. Also, what I want to talk about more is not that it can just help you um talk to people, it can make you more approachable, it can make uh the what the experience better, anything else like that. But what I also want to get to is like it can support healthy boundaries on communication. Or it can support healthy communication and improving your boundaries.

SPEAKER_01 13:43

Yeah, with your partner, with your partner.

SPEAKER_00 13:45

Because when you're confident, you you can openly discuss desires, yeah, limits, and feelings without fear of like reprisal or resentment or anything like that.

SPEAKER_01 13:59

Yeah, or any kind of judgment from the other person, things like that.

SPEAKER_00 14:02

Because when you're confident in your relationship, when you're confident in your sexuality, when you're confident in just you are, yeah. Who you are, fuck them. At that if if someone has an issue with it, then fuck them.

SPEAKER_01 14:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:21

You know, obviously.

SPEAKER_01 14:22

I mean, if you have the confidence to go out and do that and or do this, you know, you have to be able to have the confidence to have that open and honest conversation with your partner. And there have been times like we've seen, I mean, we've been doing this for 13 years, almost 14 at this point. And God damn, we're old. I know. We've seen a lot of people that um struggle with the communication aspects between them and their partner, but it always seems like one of them is always super confident in themselves and in the relationship, and then the other one is kind of more on like the hesitant side. They're not fully confident in themselves, they're not fully confident in being open and honest with their partner, and they still want to be in the lifestyle and have fun and do these things, but they don't know how to discuss the important things with their partner without like upsetting them or setting something off or arguing. They don't they don't have the the confidence to approach it in a normal conversation, it always kind of comes out being like pointing fingers, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 15:37

Yeah, but I I'm gonna say it's also on that other partner to be able to reassure and give affirmations to them of how sexy they are and how they're doing this as a team, yeah, and how everything is done as a team, and if if one person doesn't want it, then they neither should do it. Yeah, no, for sure.

SPEAKER_01 15:58

But what I'm saying is that when when we've like in the past, when we've seen it, like one of the pert person, purple person one of the people, fuck, purple people leaders, yeah. One of them is very confident in all aspects of like themselves, the relationship, the lifestyle, and the other one is kind of like not fully to that same like confidence standard, but when they've gone to talk to their partner or whatever else about it, it it comes off almost like pointing fingers like you're the one that wanted this, like, but I want to do it this way, and instead of like, hey, yeah, can I don't feel comfortable with that? Can we do this? Let's let's like you know what I mean? Yeah, you get what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_00 16:46

Yeah, and that's where they gotta come to like a complete agreement and come to boundaries and set their boundaries and figure out, and that's why we said, like, I think you should write boundaries, and I think I should write boundaries, expectations, goals, whatever else. And that way we can meet in the middle and go, hey, this is what we're definitely okay with.

SPEAKER_04 17:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:08

This is your expectations of this, this is my expectations, and then go from there.

SPEAKER_04 17:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:13

But what I will say is like the ones that don't um that don't have you know confidence or confidence, not only can it deter from a fun experience, it can also lead to not I'm not gonna say drama, but it can lead to awkward situations within the lifestyle.

SPEAKER_01 17:44

But it can also lead to jealousy issues.

SPEAKER_00 17:48

Yes, it can. And it can lead to but jealousy is a whole nother animal in its own. Jealousy is a whole ass umbrella. You could be jealous based off of just the way someone looks at you, or you could be jealous based off of how they fucked them, or you could be jealous based off of the text messages. The attention they get attention or what jealousy is a whole fucking thing with a big ass umbrella.

SPEAKER_04 18:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:14

Um, but what I what we're talking about is just confidence, and I think it is important, and now we're gonna I would like to get into like little tips on improving confidence. Fellas. Fellas. Slap your woman's ass when you can. Walk up and grab it. Pull up that sundress, go to town when she's least expecting it. Like, no, for No, I know.

SPEAKER_01 18:47

I'm just la I'm laughing at you.

SPEAKER_00 18:49

I mean, I'm just like, damn. But let's go. But I mean, you have to you how do you feel sexy? When do you feel sexy? The most you feel sexy is probably when I'm fucking you, telling you how good it feels.

SPEAKER_04 19:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:06

And how sexy you are.

SPEAKER_04 19:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:09

Do that. Give them that affirmation in the most intimate way possible.

SPEAKER_01 19:15

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 19:17

But also, Darren, like also not like after sex, reassure them that, hey, you know, fuck your hot. Send them that, you know, random picture at work. This also goes to the city.

SPEAKER_01 19:32

Yeah, but it's not just even it's not even just that. It's it can just be like when you're getting ready for work in the morning, let them know that like they look good.

SPEAKER_00 19:42

You were still wrapped up in the blankets in bed when I'm going to work.

SPEAKER_01 19:46

Well, you should tell me I look good with my bedhead, okay?

SPEAKER_00 19:49

Yeah. You're just over there yelling at me to turn off the lights while I'm going to work.

SPEAKER_01 19:54

That'll be me this week.

SPEAKER_00 19:55

Yeah. But but no, I mean, I think you should be able, like, I think it's very important to give those affirmations, to be able to give those compliments. Yeah. And I think that that can help with the confident level of the individual that's struggling, whether it's male or female.

SPEAKER_01 20:14

Yeah, and that the confidence issues can go both ways in for any either gender, but the affirmations, 100%, regardless of if y'all are both confident or not, those should happen back and forth no matter what.

SPEAKER_00 20:30

Like it's not just important to be able to tell them, but it's also important to show them. It's important to show them the confidence. It's important to show them, like, hey, or not just show them, but entice them to show you the confidence. Hey girl, why don't you put on this? Hey boy, why don't you put on this? Or whatever else, like that.

SPEAKER_01 20:48

Hey, boy.

SPEAKER_00 20:50

Yeah. Well, you meant what I knew. But like, it's important for that. It's really is. And it's like whenever I'm at work, I'll send you like not pictures, but I'll send you a text message, like for some reason I'm super fucking horny today.

SPEAKER_01 21:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:05

I think that's a turn on, and typically your reply is 100% a turn on for me. And I think by me feeling confident enough to tell you that I'm at work and I'm fucking bricked up, I think you know, that's confidence for me telling you that's vulnerability.

SPEAKER_01 21:26

Oh, yeah. Yeah. 100%. But like I feel like we just do that's just us.

SPEAKER_00 21:33

Correct. But but I think it is very important to build that confidence in your partner if one is lacking.

SPEAKER_04 21:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:40

Uh tell them that they're sexy. For real. Don't don't fucking just sit there and be quiet about it. Like tell them when when you think they're sexy, tell them that they're fucking sexy.

SPEAKER_01 21:49

Yeah. Well, no, also I'm gonna add on to the whole text message thing. If you think about it, mm, the majority of people in the lifestyle sexed with other people have Group chats or just you know just text message threads between the two, whatever. But it's and I'm sure if it's a group chat like your spouse is telling you like you look hot, whatever else. But it's also just as important, if not more important, to also have that just in the chat between you and your spouse.

SPEAKER_04 22:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:23

It shouldn't just be in a group chat scenario.

unknown 22:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:34

Like if we're in a group chat and I send something, you'll comment in the chat, but then like you almost always immediately text me just me afterwards and like damn babe.

SPEAKER_04 22:46

Yeah.

unknown 22:46

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 22:47

And that that boosts my ego almost in a way to be like, okay, I'm gonna keep doing what I'm doing.

SPEAKER_04 22:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:55

And that's how it should be. Like, I don't feel like granted, I know I'm not gonna say I don't feel like a lot of people do that, they probably do, but I feel like if it happened more frequently or more often and it was more a normal thing, like a more normal normality, a normalcy, whatever. If it happened more often and it was just like an almost an everyday thing, there would be a less amount of people that had the struggle with their confidence and their body image and things like that.

SPEAKER_00 23:31

But I'm also gonna say is like I think it's important for the other spouse to ensure you know the one that's sending the picture, like how do I say this? So if we're in a group chat, right, and you send a titty picture and the other guy and the other female said something about that titty picture. They're like, holy fuck, your tits are amazing, right? Just for example, yeah, right? The yabos, right? The yabos. Uh-huh. All right. So then I go and I text you, and I'm like, damn, those yabos are nice, right? I'm also gonna tell you they also like your. I'm gonna relay that they also really like your yabbos.

SPEAKER_04 24:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:20

And that gives you not just self-confidence from me, reassurance from me. Yeah, but I'm also gonna reinsure that you're getting reassurance from other people.

SPEAKER_01 24:30

Right.

SPEAKER_00 24:31

Because you're stuck with me regardless. Like, you have to give that reassurance of not only do I think you're fucking hot, but these individuals think you're hot.

SPEAKER_01 24:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:44

And give that affirmation to your spouse.

SPEAKER_01 24:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:48

And let them believe. Because they are fucking hot. You're doing this together.

SPEAKER_01 24:54

Yeah. Well, and I think a lot of it is there's so I don't know. I see it a lot with women. Mainly because I do more talking with the women than like the men. I mean, I talk with the men, but I'm saying like, you know, the women always click.

SPEAKER_03 25:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:14

And it doesn't matter how much their husbands say things like that. It always takes either A, another man or B, another female, to be like, no, bitch, like you do, like you're fucking hot. Before they're really like, okay, not saying like their spouse. That's the point I was trying to get. But not saying like their spouse doesn't mean anything, but it's it's almost like for women, especially, like when their husbands say it, they're like, it's the same thing for men. It's they're saying it because you know, that's my husband. They have to, like, they they're the they have to no matter what. But when you hear it coming from somebody else, then they're like, okay, well then, all right, fuck it.

SPEAKER_00 26:02

And that's the point that I was trying to get at is like like not just say, you know, tell your spouse that she's hot, but also reassure her that other people think she's hot based off or he's hot, based off of the text message replies in a group chat.

SPEAKER_01 26:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:18

Like then that's what I was getting at.

SPEAKER_01 26:19

No, no, I know. I was I was going off of what you were saying. That's what I was saying.

SPEAKER_00 26:22

Like, yeah. I mean, you know, yeah, you said that, you know, whenever I reply separately, I think that's also important because you should also show your spouse that attention.

SPEAKER_01 26:31

Yeah. Uh well, that's why I made that comment because like even honestly, I feel like the because you always comment in the text, like in the group chat, but you always message me privately, and it's like that almost is like stoking the fire. And yeah, that builds it up and gives me the confidence to continue going or doing more or whatever else. And that that alone makes a huge difference, and because it's not just what you say in the group chat, it's you're you're messaging me by myself.

SPEAKER_00 27:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:14

Reiterating what you said and probably going into more detail.

SPEAKER_00 27:18

Yeah, like yeah, I can't wait to come all over them motherfuckers. But yeah, I mean, it it's just it's important, and you know, there's also been times where I've noticed that you've been feeling down on yourself, and I have also texted our friends, hey, give her reassurance. For instance, and I'm gonna say this out loud, uh Jason. I've sent Jason from that other lifestyle just text messages like, hey man, Stephanie could probably use some uh uplifting. He's like, got you, bro. And he he adores you. And he's like, got you, bro, and he'll immediately send you pictures. Speaking of him, um to our listeners, if you like short stories, if you like sexy store short stories, fiction stories, uh, he's reading them on his podcast. He's uh then they're all lifestyle related. Lifestyle fictional short stories.

SPEAKER_01 28:26

Really?

SPEAKER_00 28:26

Pretty cool.

SPEAKER_01 28:28

Well, that's awesome.

SPEAKER_00 28:29

Yeah. So yeah. But anywho, going back to what I was talking about, I think it is important for you to be able to give that affirmation to your spouse. And if that doesn't work, fuck you know, recruit a friend. Recruit a friend. For real. Yeah, no, like there's been times where I've t I can tell that you've been down, and I would message him and be like, hey, have you talked to Stephanie lately? Whatever else. And hey, you should send that to her, and he would send it to you, and your mood just like your mood just fucking skyrockets, and then it's like you're the normal Stephanie.

SPEAKER_01 29:11

There was literally one day where he sent it to you and was like, show this to Steph. And I immediately texted him and I'm like, Bet you have my number.

SPEAKER_00 29:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:20

You don't have to send it to him, you can send it to me. Like, oh yeah, forgot. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:25

But anywho, that's gonna be our um ticks and or not ticks, not ticks. I'm gonna check you for ticks later. Oh god. Uh no, that's gonna be our tricks and tips um for you know just building confidence in the lifestyle and why it's important to have confidence.

SPEAKER_01 29:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:45

To be confident in the lifestyle, be confident in who you are.

SPEAKER_01 29:48

And helping your partner be confident as well.

SPEAKER_00 29:50

It doesn't matter what other people think about you, it matters what you think of yourself. And it, you know, 100%. You're a fucking star. I don't care what anybody says. Everybody, and this is why we when we have parties, we have a little sign up that says everybody is a 10. And that's to help build people's confidence. That's to make the individuals that feel less confident about themselves realize holy shit, no matter what other people look like, I'm just as important. And you are.

SPEAKER_01 30:25

Yeah, well, and we've even had the the people that will come in and still treat, like, not treat others badly, but kind of almost look down on them. And we've immediately stopped it and been like, no, y'all can leave. Yeah. And it's not the ones that are getting looked down on, it's the ones that are looking down on somebody else. We're like, you can leave. That's not the energy we want here.

SPEAKER_00 30:46

Yeah, correct. If that if that happens, I will immediately say, Hey, let's go outside and talk real quick, and just tell them, like, hey, yeah, you need to leave. Because that that's not what this is about. This is about uplifting people.

SPEAKER_04 30:57

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 30:57

This is about bringing people together. This is about love and support and just the community in itself.

SPEAKER_01 31:03

We're not gonna sit here and bash other people, we're not gonna sit here and talk down on other people. We are here to uplift each other, have fun, and just live life like in to the most.

SPEAKER_00 31:18

We are the most unjudgmental lifestyle out there. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 31:22

So we're supposed to be.

SPEAKER_00 31:24

Yeah. So for one to judge another based on how they look, or based on what their religion is, based on their uh fucking political preferences is fucking stupid.

SPEAKER_04 31:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:41

And if we have anything to do with it, they will not be at our party.

SPEAKER_01 31:46

No.

SPEAKER_00 31:46

Everybody is a 10 here, period.

SPEAKER_01 31:50

Doesn't matter what the fuck your career is or your job title or anything like that. Leave that shit at the door at work. When it comes to lifestyle, it's a lifestyle, and we're all just people.

SPEAKER_00 32:00

Well, and it doesn't even just have to go with the like it could also be like the inf influencer aspect of it, right? Take Mickey and Mallory, they have never fucking treated us any differently. They have always treated us with the utmost respect. Oh, for sure. From the times that we were fans, from when we were had friends with pineapples and we had fucking a shit ton of listeners, to even now to where we're struggling to get 10 listeners, they never treated us any differently. No, they've always treated us with the utmost respect and always tried to help. And that's what this is about is uplifting people.

SPEAKER_01 32:41

Yeah, and even when we've talked to them about when we when we started this one back up, because they were encouraging us to, um, especially the first few episodes, we're just like, We're never gonna get back to where we were, we just won't. And he he immediately was like, No, no, don't say that. And she was like, Y'all got this shit, just keep going, don't let it stop you. Yeah, and that's that's how they are. That is the amazing people that they are.

SPEAKER_00 33:07

That is the definition of the lifestyle. Yeah, that's my point. Yeah, is we're all here to uplift each other and not judge one another.

SPEAKER_01 33:15

Well, no, and that's uplifting people. Not even just that, like I mean, they have one of the best lifestyle podcasts out there, knowing that we're doing a lifestyle podcast as well in encouraging and uplifting us in that way. Like, they don't look at us as like you know, they're competition. No, and we know I mean, don't get me wrong, we're nowhere near their competition. We'll never be anywhere near competitive with them in any kind of way, but no matter what, like they've always been there to be like, you know, you're getting through to people, even if it's only one person, like you're helping somebody. But don't let the bad outweigh the good.

SPEAKER_00 33:57

But the beauty of this whole thing is is people need to understand this the lifestyle in general is not a competition. No, it's not life in general is not a fucking competition, it is what you make of it. And the thing about the lifestyle is we're trying to build confidence on other people. And that's what they have done with with us. When we when we ended Friends with Pineapples, yeah, you know, we had so many listeners, and that's that brings back brings me back to the point of you saying we'll never be where we were, and she was no no no no no. That point or her her talk to me, his talk to me built confidence in me going, maybe I should give this another try. Yeah, let's let's do this. 100%.

SPEAKER_01 34:44

The conversations we had with them was the reason why. I mean between Mickey and Mallory, Bella Sweets, and Jason from that other lifestyle, like the way that they encouraged us and uplifted us and like just fucking talked to us. Not even you know, in any kind of like way, just their communication with us, their like you know, encouragement.

SPEAKER_00 35:14

Any any influencer, any influencer has done that to us.

SPEAKER_01 35:18

Well, yeah, but I'm just saying, like, those are the main ones that we talk to. That we talk to, and they're they're the ones that made us like really stop and think and like fuck it. Like, let's do it.

SPEAKER_00 35:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 35:32

And if it wasn't for them, we wouldn't be here.

SPEAKER_00 35:34

But I think it is important to be able to build that confidence and lean on your partners or partner, yeah, and then also lean on your friend group, oh, yeah, whoever it may be to help build your confidence or confidence, and I think you will have a more successful experience in the lifestyle if you are confident. But anywho, on that note, this has been our episode on confidence uh and little tips and tricks. Um if you have SDC, lots of confidence. Yep. And if you have SDC or you want to get an SDC account, which is Seek Date or Seek Discover Connect, um greatest lifestyle website out there. They've updated their platform and it's super, super user-friendly.

SPEAKER_01 36:27

Oh, 100%.

SPEAKER_00 36:28

Go ahead and use our promo code 37673 and you get one month free. That code again is 37673. But anywho, on that note, stay sexy, stay safe, stay weird.

SPEAKER_01 36:43

And keep swinging those pineapples.

SPEAKER_00 36:44

Bye y'all.

SPEAKER_01 36:45

Bye y'all. Thank you for tuning in to In the Playroom Podcast. If you've enjoyed this episode, please make sure to give it a five-star rating from wherever you are listening. Don't forget to also follow us on Instagram and STC. If you have any questions, comments, or feedback, please feel free to reach out and email us at in the playroom podcast at gmail.com and let us know what's on your mind. We might just feature it in our next episode. Stay sexy, stay weird, and stay safe and keep swinging those pineapples.