Episode 12: Trust Your Gut! Red Flags at Clubs, Parties & Meet and Greets.

Not every lifestyle experience is created equal, and sometimes the best way to protect your fun is by recognizing when something just doesn’t feel right. In this episode, we talk about the red flags they’ve learned to watch for after more than 13 years in the lifestyle. From house parties and meet-and-greets to swinger clubs. We break down the warning signs that can signal potential problems, whether it’s pushy behavior, poor communication, lack of respect for boundaries, or hosts who don’t prioritize safety and consent. We also share tips on trusting your instincts, protecting your relationship, and knowing when it’s perfectly okay to step away from a situation. Because the lifestyle should always be about connection, respect, and good vibes and recognizing red flags helps keep it that way. 🍍

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:09

Welcome to In the Playroom, the podcast where the doors are open, the lights are low, and nothing is off limits.

SPEAKER_00 0:16

We're your host, Jason Stephanie. Each week, we're bringing you honest, unfiltered conversations from our personal journeys to the swinging lifestyle.

SPEAKER_01 0:24

Just a heads up, we are not professionals, therapists, or lifestyle experts. What we share here is based on our own real experiences. The good, the awkward, and the absolutely unforgettable.

SPEAKER_00 0:36

Whether you're curious, already exploring, or just love hearing what goes down behind closed doors, you've got a place right here with us.

SPEAKER_01 0:43

So kick off your shoes, pour a drink, and step into the playroom. And I'm Stephanie.

SPEAKER_00 1:00

All right, and today we are going to talk about something.

SPEAKER_01 1:03

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 1:04

Red flags and green flags of events. Whether it's a house party, whether it's a club, whether it's a meet and greet, whatever.

SPEAKER_01 1:13

Whatever it is.

SPEAKER_00 1:14

We're going to talk about our red flags. And these are I'm not trying to yuck anybody's yum from this.

SPEAKER_01 1:19

No.

SPEAKER_00 1:20

I just want to talk about what we consider green flags, what we consider red flags. And I'm sure people will um I'm sure some like people will agree with some of it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:32

I feel like the majority of them will be agreeable for most.

SPEAKER_00 1:38

And I think I I really wish there was an episode when we started on this. And there probably was, but I really wish a uh podcast would have done an episode on this when we started 13 years ago.

SPEAKER_03 1:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:51

And that could have helped. I mean, here we are 13 years, and we still run into some of this scenarios, and it's just like, what the fuck? Like, why are we here?

SPEAKER_03 2:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:01

We should have done a little bit more research. So I'm going to say for point one, right? Make sure you're going to a replible, replicable. Say it for me. Repliable? Reputable. I don't know what make sure you're going to a club that has reviews. I'm going to say that. Now I will say some of the replitable. Anyways, I'm I'm going to say make sure you're going to a club that has multiple views or multiple reviews. But I will say reputable. Reputable. There you go. Reputable. Sorry it took me a minute. Make sure you're going to a reputable. Yeah. Reputable club. Now I will say there is some clubs out there that are just now starting out and they may not have that many reviews. And it may take them a little bit, a little bit of time to get reviews.

SPEAKER_01 2:52

Well, not necessarily like telling you not to go to a new club because we went to a new club. Yeah, I mean, we hosted it. Brand new, yeah. And it was a good thing.

SPEAKER_00 3:04

Yeah, it was in a great place. Pretty good vibes. You know, what they did everything correct. Um, but what I'm gonna say is like make sure you're going somewhere that you know where you're going.

SPEAKER_03 3:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:15

Like if you're saying, hey, we're gonna do a club party, and you go to a fucking, you know, little shack in the middle of the woods, kind of feel like we're talking about our house right now.

SPEAKER_01 3:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:25

Um probably don't. We're not in the middle of the woods, but we're literally in the middle of nowhere. Yes. But anywho, uh, but make sure like you're going to a club where like there is reviews, and especially for newbies, that way you know it to expect. There is reviews on those clubs saying, hey, this is what's you know, what we think about it, um, whatever else like that. And you can kind of get an idea of how that club is. Now, one of my biggest, biggest things on clubs is I want to see, I want to be able to go to a club and have to fill out a form saying, one, I understand what consent is, and two, you know, I'm not gonna do this to other people. Um I'm they're not held reliable for my actions, whatever else like that. Because that way it ties like it, it separates a club from other people's dumb fucking reactions or dumb fucking actions. Not reactions, but actions. Yeah. So it's it ties it away from them. And I love the aspect of just saying, hey, you know, I'm reading this because I actually read what I sign and I know what consent is.

SPEAKER_01 4:36

You read it for the both of us.

SPEAKER_00 4:38

Yeah, but I know what consent is, I know what's right, what's wrong, and there is no excuse for any piss bore behavior.

SPEAKER_01 4:45

Right.

SPEAKER_00 4:47

Secondly.

SPEAKER_01 4:49

Okay. The look on your face, I'm just like cleanliness. Cleanliness.

SPEAKER_02 4:55

Yes. That word.

SPEAKER_00 4:59

Or just even safe sex or promotion.

SPEAKER_01 5:02

Like the promotion of safe sex where you see condom bowls.

SPEAKER_00 5:07

Well, and and I think about like when we have hosted house parties here, every fucking playroom had a bowl of at least cheap condoms.

SPEAKER_01 5:18

Yeah. I mean, hell, we went the bathrooms.

SPEAKER_00 5:21

Correct. I mean, hell, we went in the fucking to the KOS float trip and we actually splurged and bought fucking skin condoms for that one. Be just to give out to the people. Yeah. Yeah. But I I love the fact if I'm gonna go to a club and I see you know they are promoting safe sex, whether there's condoms in every room.

SPEAKER_03 5:43

Right.

SPEAKER_00 5:44

Um, and whether it's be latex-free or latex, it doesn't matter, non-latex or latex. It doesn't matter. As long as you're promoting safe sex, that's important. Yes. If you're not promoting safe sex, that's disgusting.

SPEAKER_01 6:01

It really is. Like, if you can't I don't know, we've been to many clubs, and I can't say any club has ever strayed away from that. Like, I don't recall any of the clubs we've been to not have like clubs.

SPEAKER_00 6:21

But anyhow. Club? Well, it's kind of a club. But anywho.

SPEAKER_01 6:27

Well, no, I'm saying like legit established clubs.

SPEAKER_00 6:31

But even um like but even at most house parties that we've been to, there's been condoms.

SPEAKER_01 6:38

There's only been one house party that I can say.

SPEAKER_00 6:44

No, not in so we've had one. We've there's been multiple, more than two, I'm gonna say. Uh actually more than three, but two out of the three had that they promoted safe sex.

SPEAKER_01 6:56

No, I'm I I know. I was saying that I can only think of one house party we've been to that didn't have condoms laying around.

SPEAKER_00 7:03

Oh, yeah, yeah, absolutely. And to me, like that is just like saying, do whatever the fuck you want to do. We don't care about your safety.

SPEAKER_03 7:12

Right.

SPEAKER_00 7:12

And at that point, it's just like and it's given it's given the new people, the the newbies, the understanding of, oh, condoms aren't popular in the lifestyle. That is a fucking lie in itself.

SPEAKER_01 7:27

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 7:29

Coms need to be displayed in every fucking every we've we've been to clubs where they have a whole ass kitchen set up, right? They'll have food. Right next to the fucking potato chips will probably be a bowl of condoms. Right next to the fucking hostess desk is a bowl of condoms. In every bathroom, there is a bowl of condoms. In every playroom, there is a bowl of condoms. In the outside area, there is a bowl of condoms.

SPEAKER_01 7:58

Yeah, there's condoms everywhere. Like everywhere that something could pop off.

SPEAKER_00 8:03

There's condoms there to typically things pop off, or I'm gonna say always things pop off in the playrooms. Uh it never pops off at the potato chips and it never No, no, but I'm saying everywhere that could potentially have stuff go down. At at the very at the bare minimum, that's where they need to be.

SPEAKER_01 8:23

Right.

SPEAKER_00 8:24

And what is it? A 30 pack of fucking lifestyles is what? Probably ten dollars.

SPEAKER_01 8:32

Yeah, like twenty bucks.

SPEAKER_00 8:33

Twenty bucks. So you get two thirty packs, that's forty dollars. Oh shit, you got sixty.

SPEAKER_01 8:38

It's not like you need to have like four hundred and no, no, just have like anywhere from five five to ten per bowl in each area.

SPEAKER_00 8:47

But I will say, and I get that most of the people bring their own condoms and they bring their own stuff because depending on whether you know you have a latex allergy or something.

SPEAKER_01 8:55

Well, everybody has their preferences.

SPEAKER_00 8:56

Correct. However, it's still just a good thing to show. Perception is everything. I'm gonna say that. Perception is everything. If you don't have it, the perception is you don't give a fuck about it.

SPEAKER_01 9:10

Right. I mean, yeah, like you said, most of the time people bring their own because they have their preferences and they want to make sure they're covered. But there are also people who might not think about it, or you know, in the situation like if it was me and I found somebody and they didn't have any, there's a bowl of condoms right there.

SPEAKER_00 9:30

Well, and this is also for the newer, new, like this is also for like the the newbies, right? Because for us, we know to have a bag with us. We have our bags.

SPEAKER_01 9:40

We always have we have our stuff.

SPEAKER_00 9:41

Yeah, we have our stuff on us. However, if there's a new couple going in, they don't know what to fucking expect.

SPEAKER_01 9:49

No.

SPEAKER_00 9:49

But I mean, it's a perception of promotion of clean. Correct. Yeah, and just the promotion of safe sex. Now, all also on the cleanliness. Have clean sheets. At the bare fucking minimum, have clean sheets to where people can replace those sheets.

SPEAKER_01 10:08

After a replace room. Yeah. To get it set up ready for the next person. Correct. So they're not playing on dirty stuff.

SPEAKER_00 10:15

I don't know if there's I had to clean up shit at one point at a party.

SPEAKER_01 10:21

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 10:22

I don't know what people have done on that bed.

SPEAKER_01 10:25

Right.

SPEAKER_00 10:26

I don't want to fuck on that bed. I don't want you anywhere near that germ-infested fucking thing. Because I don't know if it's like Well, I'm a germophobe. Correct. But I mean, I and we've dealt with it with hosting parties and everything else like that, hosting parties at clubs. Someone took a shit on the floor.

SPEAKER_03 10:50

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 10:50

And a fan at that time, or fanslash friend at that time, helped me clean it up. Yes. But it was disgusting. And those people, the people before you that use those rooms, they don't give a fuck about you. Mm-mm.

SPEAKER_01 11:04

No, they don't.

SPEAKER_00 11:05

That person that took a shit on the floor did not give two fucks about the person that goes into that room. After them. After them.

SPEAKER_01 11:12

No, they they have quite literally left it behind. Correct.

SPEAKER_00 11:15

So it's disgusting. You never know who's on that bed before and what they got or what was on that bed. Right. And that that's just my point. Now, and I will also say in the bathrooms or in the rooms. We're still in the room port, right?

SPEAKER_01 11:32

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 11:32

In the rooms. Have fucking disinsect disinfectant spray.

SPEAKER_01 11:36

Yes. And hand sanitizer.

SPEAKER_00 11:38

And hand sanitizer. Have that shit. Paper towels. They released. Paper towels, wet wipes, hand sanitizer. Paper towels for the hand sanitizer and disinfectant. And then just like wet wipes for people to clean themselves off or whatever else like that. Have that.

SPEAKER_01 11:55

With all any anywhere that like and just coming, like for instance, like the playmats in the theater at one of the clubs. They're vinyl. Have spray there and paper towels to clean them.

SPEAKER_00 12:11

Have a note also on the wall saying please clean up the area after use.

SPEAKER_01 12:15

Right. But also, I mean, I've seen it to where they have um they'll have towels in there. They'll have washcloths and paper towels. They'll have a pack of baby wipes and they'll have a pack of like Lysol wipes. So on top of the disinfectant, they also actually normally have the disinfectant wipes too, because that's easier to wipe down the bigger areas rather than just spraying it and having to go back with like paper towel. But you have all forms of ways to clean your area.

SPEAKER_00 12:49

It just shows that you're you're being responsible, that you're in you're a responsible club.

SPEAKER_01 12:53

But you're also respecting the people that come in behind you.

SPEAKER_00 12:56

Correct.

SPEAKER_01 12:57

Because you came into it clean. You're gonna respect the next people to leave a clean area.

SPEAKER_00 13:02

Any room that I go into, and this this also goes for hotels, and I know it drives you nuts.

SPEAKER_01 13:07

I already know what you're gonna say.

SPEAKER_00 13:08

I leave that room cleaner than we found it. Than the way I found it. If I had a fucking vacuum, I would vacuum that hotel room for them. He would. But I mean, it's it's just a point of just again, it's a perception and it's making sure that everybody stays safe because again, if someone is a squirter and they squirt everywhere, and then you go in behind them, you don't know what they have.

SPEAKER_01 13:36

No, and you want me to lay in it? No things.

SPEAKER_00 13:40

Correct. You don't know exactly what they got. Now going away from the rooms.

SPEAKER_01 13:45

Not even just that, you don't know. You can attest for me. I'm like, if I have not had enough water, I am not even going to allow me myself to get that far to where I squirt. Not everybody's like, but again, that's you.

SPEAKER_00 13:59

We also had someone take a shit on the floor.

SPEAKER_01 14:01

I I know, but I'm just saying, like, not everybody is like that, and they won't try to hold themselves back from getting that far.

SPEAKER_03 14:08

No.

SPEAKER_01 14:09

To leave it behind. So if they're not, if you're not hydrated enough, it is that is when you're going to have the more of the the pee, what people say. It's not, it's not squirt, it's pea.

SPEAKER_00 14:21

Oh, you could definitely smell the difference.

SPEAKER_01 14:24

But I'm saying less hydrated you are, the more it leans towards that. If you're hydrated, it's not pea.

SPEAKER_00 14:33

I think there's still a little bit, but that's I know, but what I'm saying is like there's traces amount.

SPEAKER_01 14:39

There are trace amounts no matter what. But what I'm saying is is when you're hydrated, it is just that trace amount. When you are not high hydrated, it is just pee.

SPEAKER_00 14:49

Well, that's a topic for a whole nother fucking episode.

SPEAKER_01 14:53

I know, but I don't want to lay in it. So clean up your shit.

SPEAKER_00 14:56

Yes. But also what I'm gonna say is like when you're going to the bathroom or whatever, make sure there's plenty of toilet paper, make sure there's wet wipes, and for the love of God, make sure you have Listerine or some type of mouthwash and soap.

SPEAKER_03 15:13

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 15:14

To be able to wash your hands or like I don't want to make out with someone that's just taking three shots of tequila. And one, I'm probably not going to because they're they're too fucked up. Bitch, please. But I don't like the way tequila.

SPEAKER_01 15:29

You will kiss me after I drink three shots of tequila.

SPEAKER_00 15:32

You wash your mouth. I hate the way it tastes. I don't like liquor.

SPEAKER_01 15:37

I know.

SPEAKER_00 15:37

But like I don't I don't want to make out with someone that tastes like a fucking shot glass or the bar mat or whatever else like that. I won't like there's a be fresh. Hygiene. Yeah, hygiene. Be fresh. I'm not saying you gotta fucking brush your teeth every time you use a bathroom, but if you use a bathroom after taking a shot or two shots or three shots or whatever, and you see it, if you see it there and you see little cups saying, hey, you use Dixie Cups, Dixie Cups, hey, you can use this, you're going to use it. You're gonna be, or I'm not gonna say you're going to use it. You're gonna be drawn to do it. You're going to be drawn to use it. Hey, maybe I should do this. Or whatever else. Yeah. Make sure you have that. And also shit spray.

SPEAKER_01 16:31

Poopery.

SPEAKER_00 16:32

Poopery. Girls, have that shit in there.

SPEAKER_01 16:36

Some sort of sort of spray.

SPEAKER_00 16:37

We've been we've talked about shit a lot on this episode already. Let's get away from that. But no, for real, like have mouthwash in the bathrooms. Have clean towels. Don't let the same person or just paper towels at that.

SPEAKER_01 16:52

Yeah, paper towels.

SPEAKER_00 16:53

Paper towels is the cheapest way to go. Right. For them to dry your hands. Because again.

SPEAKER_01 16:57

Honestly, I wouldn't want to see. I mean, you can have like a decorative towel out there. That's cool. But I would. I don't want to see that. I don't want to see towels. I'll see. I'll take a decorative towel that you know most people won't touch because it's decorative. But have paper towels.

SPEAKER_00 17:10

But I don't know what they've done with those.

SPEAKER_01 17:13

But no, that's what I'm saying. That's why have a decorative towel towel to where it's just decoration that no one uses and have paper towels available for when people wash their hands.

SPEAKER_00 17:24

Like if I see, if I'm going to the bathroom and I see paper towels versus a decorative hand towel, right? I'm not going to touch that decorative hand towel. I don't know if someone was just getting a blowjob and then fucking wiped off cumb.

SPEAKER_01 17:37

If it's just a decorative towel, people aren't going to use it. They're going to use the paper towels that are there. What I was saying is I don't want to see hand towels unless it's a decorative one that no one's going to touch. That's what I was getting at.

SPEAKER_03 17:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:49

I don't want to see hand towels out there because you don't know what who what the person had on his hands beforehand. Yeah. You don't know. So I don't want to see towel like regular towels unless it's a decorative one. And I want paper towels there.

SPEAKER_00 18:01

Yeah. What I'm also going to say for like the green lights, right? We've talked about a lot of the red lights. Let's talk about some more of the green lights. You know, I'm obviously they should have mouthwash, hands on the light. Everything's that we said that they should have correct. But another good green light to to see is people mingling and people asking for consent.

SPEAKER_01 18:30

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 18:31

You know, I mean, you can easily hear in a club, hey, these are our rules, or just at least talking about your boundaries. Right. Like those and promoting that.

SPEAKER_01 18:42

Well, and I I can honestly say, like every house party, club, event, any of that, I haven't been met with a lot of people that don't start off conversations that way to get it out and open in the beginning so we can get it answered and out of the way. And it makes it easier for the whole vibe to just go will like smoothly and freely and like just allowing the vibe to happen basically. However, I will say there have been house parties and things like that that I've gone to that. I don't hear I don't hear a lot of the is this okay, or can I do this? May I do that? It's just they're doing it.

SPEAKER_00 19:26

Correct. And well, and I've also seen that in big clubs too. Yeah, but it's it's rare in clubs.

SPEAKER_01 19:32

I've seen a few scenarios.

SPEAKER_00 19:34

But I'm gonna say it's rare in clubs because you have hosts there walking around. Yeah, and they're trying to get people to mingle, they're making sure that everybody's okay, and whatever else. I will say I don't think any host of a club should be fucking. There is no booty on duty, in my opinion.

SPEAKER_01 19:57

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 19:57

When we hosted at that pineapple club, right, we did not play.

SPEAKER_01 20:02

Not at all.

SPEAKER_00 20:03

It was we were dressed sexy. Well, you were. I was dressed, but like we made sure, like we made sure we did not play at all.

SPEAKER_01 20:13

No, we didn't.

SPEAKER_00 20:14

I there was playtime, but that was after we left the club. After the club at the hotel. When we were there hosting, we made sure everybody had what they needed.

SPEAKER_01 20:25

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 20:26

We made sure everybody felt comfortable. We would walk around. And I'm it's hard to ask everybody, especially when you have over a hundred couples, but it's it's nice to know that there's someone going around going, hey, how are you doing? Are you liking this? Is everything okay? Has there been any issues? What can I get you? Whatever else. Because at the end of the day, these people have paid their hard-earned money to go to an establishment where they're supposed to fucking feel safe.

SPEAKER_03 20:53

Right.

SPEAKER_00 20:53

And they're supposed to be able to feel secure. Whether it's personally and to to include personally, that that also includes STDs, STIs, but also like mentally, make sure no one is bullying, make sure no one is harassing.

SPEAKER_01 21:07

Well, and also make sure there's no like creepers that are making people uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_00 21:12

And we've had creepers at big clubs. I it goes back to when we were at one club and we were in the theater part of the club, and then you just got uh you were sitting on me riding my dick, and then there's just Stephanie, look at me. Stephanie, look at and there's a single dude that was allowed there for we met him probably 15 minutes prior. Fifteen, twenty minutes. I'd say about an hour.

SPEAKER_01 21:42

It was about an hour, but literally all that was said was look at me was like, Hi, my name is Yeah. And then hi, my name is da duh. Yeah. And that was it. And we went our separate ways. And then he remembered your name. I swear it was over an hour. Yeah. It was a while after. And then we he was

SPEAKER_00 22:00

Just he walked in, saw us fucking, and was Stephanie, look at me. And then you just looked at me and like can you can you tell him to stop? And I looked at him and was like, bro, cut it out. And he didn't cut it out, and then it run the mood for both of us.

SPEAKER_01 22:18

So we got up and left.

SPEAKER_00 22:19

And then he got embarrassed. I mean, it's I don't think he got embarrassed.

SPEAKER_01 22:23

I think I honestly feel like he was more insulted that I never looked at him and we didn't finish in front of him. But I don't I mean, don't make me uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_00 22:31

Yeah, well, fuck it. But I mean there there needs to be that security. There needs to be that, hey, are you okay? Do I need to get you anything? And what just because aftercare doesn't just belong in kink play. It also belongs in just it belongs in any type of play. And aftercare can oh yeah. It's it's a big ass wide umbrella. And it could be as simple of going, are you having fun?

SPEAKER_01 22:57

And as or even as simple as like cuddling after sex. If it's your partner, I'm not asking the coast of I'm not asking to cuddle with you, but but I'm saying the umbrella of aftercare. That's I mean it goes, it's not just for it's for everything.

SPEAKER_00 23:12

Yeah. But I don't know. I mean, I just especially with like cliques, like, right. If if I'm gonna go to a club and there's this there's those same couples there and they're very clickish and they have their own group and they don't want to talk to anybody, they don't want to let anybody in, yeah, whatever else, um fuck that club.

SPEAKER_01 23:34

There's a few of them.

SPEAKER_00 23:35

Yeah, there is a few of them, but honestly, fuck that club. Be and the thing is, is those people, even though they're not really affiliated with the club, they're not running it. However, like that's on the club's job to realize, like, hey, you know, y'all need to go fucking mingle or something.

SPEAKER_01 23:52

Or at least seem approachable. Yeah, it seems or when you're approached, don't blow people off.

SPEAKER_00 23:58

Yeah. And I get like we like no one is everybody's cup of tea. But you can still be friendly. You can still say no completely fucking like But you can still be friendly.

SPEAKER_01 24:09

Correct. Because someone in your group might find them attractive or interesting, and they hurt you and you are an asshole, and basically, you know, turn your back on them, they're not gonna want anything to do with anyone in that group.

SPEAKER_00 24:23

Correct. And then you're you're taken away from someone that's in that group from experience and what could be a great fucking time. I mean, if if I'm gonna go to a club and it's known for clickish, I'll give it a try. But if I see it for myself, I'm not fucking going back.

SPEAKER_01 24:44

Right.

SPEAKER_00 24:45

I'm not. I don't care what kind of play rooms they got, I I just I'm not gonna go back.

SPEAKER_01 24:52

No, not if they're regular group of people that tend to go there like every party or whatever, and you're letting them act but like act and treat people like that.

SPEAKER_00 25:04

Well, and the thing is, is like the club needs to be inclusive and have a positive atmosphere.

SPEAKER_03 25:10

Right.

SPEAKER_00 25:11

Like people need people welcoming newbies is very important. No clicks, excluding others, and just focus on the fun connection. Right. I mean, if if I'm not seeing that, I'm I'm fucking out.

SPEAKER_01 25:23

I mean, and I get that some clubs are like, I mean, they're just patrons, I can't tell them what to do. But like, make it an like not in, I don't make it to where you're encouraging them at the very least to try to be open to new people.

SPEAKER_00 25:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:41

Instead of just blatantly letting it happen. Well, and I'm also gonna say I mean, they're not I mean, if it's the people that are always coming to their parties, they're not gonna tell them they can't come back because that's how they're making their like reliable amount of money. But I can you can at the very least be like, hey, like we're getting some newer crowds in. Open. Try to make them feel welcome. But help them feel welcome, help them help me show them around. And that's that's on the host. Yeah, and then maybe they'll loosen up some.

SPEAKER_00 26:13

Yeah, and and that's on the host to just make sure that they understand like the the the regulars will understand, like, hey, this is a lifestyle for everybody. Everybody needs to make them feel welcome. Yeah, yeah, make them feel welcome. You ain't gotta fucking do anything with them, but just make them feel welcome. But another thing that I'm gonna talk about is alcohol use and drug use. Yes. Right.

SPEAKER_01 26:37

That's a big one. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:39

Like if I see someone doing a lot of coke on a titty, I'm I'm walking the fuck out.

SPEAKER_01 26:43

Right.

SPEAKER_00 26:44

And but what I do like is a lot of the clubs, they have their staff that will walk around and go, hey, I think you've had too much to drink. Let's start drinking a little bit of water and bringing it down.

SPEAKER_01 26:56

Like in not in not in a like a mean, like negative way either. Just be like, hey, bro, let's put this down and have this, let's drink this for a minute. And and it's not like they the person that they're saying had had enough, doesn't feel like they're being targeted or like judged. They feel like they're being taken care of. Like, hey, you're coming, you're you're trying to help me out, man. Thanks. Kind of thing.

SPEAKER_00 27:21

And and I've had it done to me. Like, hey, I think you've had a little bit too much. I'm like, shit, yeah, you're probably right. And it honestly, I think it means more whenever it comes from the host because like you know at that point, if you don't start behaving, you're probably not ever gonna get invited back.

SPEAKER_01 27:40

Right.

SPEAKER_00 27:40

But when you see a club that promotes just whatever the fuck you want to do, you know, do it.

SPEAKER_01 27:47

Yeah, no, that's not somewhere I feel safe.

SPEAKER_00 27:50

No. No, because if people aren't going to respect the club's like property, I'm not gonna do anything.

SPEAKER_01 28:01

Well, and I can I in all honesty over the years I was kind of like blind to it. But we had talked to some people that was like we mentioned going to the hotel takeovers and whatever else, and they're like, Did you see anything like anybody doing drugs or anything? And we're like, no, not that we like caught our attention, and they're like, they're doing it.

SPEAKER_00 28:30

And I'm sure they are, and I'm sure that's that's but but that's also any bar, that's also any strip clubs.

SPEAKER_01 28:36

There are there are ones like the hotel taker, which we've gone to, have been very elegant, very free. And I've never seen it, very safe, and we never have seen it ourselves, but like we know people that have gone to in the past and they're like, Yeah, that but that couple will. But they do it on their own, they don't do it out in the open.

SPEAKER_00 28:59

Yeah. No, and and again, like if I ever get asked, like, hey, I got this, do you want it?

SPEAKER_01 29:04

Fuck you. No, I don't want it, bro.

SPEAKER_00 29:06

No, I'm just gonna tell them like, no, thank you. Like, we're good. And then move on. But I but I know from that, I'm like, mm, not gonna Yeah, but I know from that I'm I'm not gonna do anything with them. No. Um, because again, like I think drugs and alcohol will alter like what you like your boundaries, especially if it's an excessive. An excessive boundaries.

SPEAKER_01 29:33

Yeah, if it's an excessive amount, you like it's gonna alter your boundaries. It's not gonna alter your boundaries, it's going to in your mind blur those lines where you don't really think you're tiptoeing the line, but you're actually over it.

SPEAKER_00 29:46

Correct.

SPEAKER_01 29:47

In reality.

SPEAKER_00 29:48

And one thing I'm also gonna say about another red flag, and maybe we should just change this title to red flags, you know, because we've been talking about. But what I will also say about red flags is if you're if you're going to a club um and there's toys, there should be someone there that is in charge of, let's say, said toy. Not in charge of it, not in charge of using it.

SPEAKER_01 30:16

But in charge of in charge of making sure it's cleaned in between everybody and is used properly and sanitized when needed.

SPEAKER_00 30:27

Yeah, and y this brings me back to like the hotel takeover, because we hosted uh sibian room or motor bunny or whatever you want to call it. Um, I mean, we have one, it's neither one of those, it's the Love Bots saddle, which which I think is good.

SPEAKER_01 30:42

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:43

And um, you know, we hosted that room. And every time we would host, uh every anytime people would want to get on it, um, I would put a condom on the attachment. They would use it, and then immediately I would throw that condom off, and then I would spray it with disinfectant toy cleaner.

SPEAKER_01 31:02

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 31:02

Wipe it down, and wipe it down, and then put a new condom on it. And then put a new condom on in the event someone wanted it or someone wanted to use it. I would not let anybody use it knowing it was unclean.

SPEAKER_01 31:14

It's not clean. Yeah, it got clean between every person.

SPEAKER_00 31:18

And I remember a couple saying, I absolutely love the fact that you're doing that. And to me, like that stuck around. Like that was like, okay, well, I'm doing the right thing to do.

SPEAKER_01 31:28

That comment like resonated. Yes, and it was one of those like a pat on the back kind of moment, but it also was like, okay, I'm not the only one that feels like this is important, and I'm gonna keep doing what I'm doing.

SPEAKER_03 31:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:41

But the thing is like to us, that's what we always did because I to me that was important for me using a toy and it being my toy. I want that chick cleaned.

SPEAKER_00 31:50

Correct.

SPEAKER_01 31:50

I'm a germaphobe. So, but have somebody else say the same thing to us because we were doing that was like reassuring to me that I'm just not being paranoid, but I'm doing the right thing by making sure it's properly taken care of and no one is getting other people's juices.

SPEAKER_00 32:09

Now, I'm not gonna say like one red flag is gonna deter me from that club or that event.

SPEAKER_01 32:17

No, not one, just none out of all of that, and just one out of any of them would not deter us, but we have also been to some events to where they have hit every fucking one red flag, and I'm like, never again will we be here.

SPEAKER_00 32:34

Yeah, never the fucking woman.

SPEAKER_01 32:36

We've had the we've had the few that have basically checked every red flag box off.

SPEAKER_00 32:41

Correct. And just remember, like, there is like there may be clicks, but just remember in your own head, everybody's a 10.

SPEAKER_01 32:49

Mm-hmm. Approach it that way.

SPEAKER_00 32:52

Everybody is a 10. There is no popular people. There is no it may be that way in their head, but there there shouldn't be. And the club bro the club should also promote that type of you know experience is everybody is a 10.

SPEAKER_01 33:09

To me, I don't feel like that's like they're the cool people. I feel like they're just kind of helping me be less selective by taking themselves out of the mix.

SPEAKER_03 33:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:20

Because I don't want any part of that. If you're gonna think you're high and mighty and you're better than anyone else that's there, I want nothing to do with you. We're not on the same level.

SPEAKER_03 33:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:29

Because I don't feel like anybody is better than anyone, and I sure as shit don't think I'm better than anyone. I'm going to mingle with anyone and everyone, regardless of if they think they're high and mighty or not.

SPEAKER_03 33:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:42

But to me, you're selecting or you're taking yourself out of the equation because I don't want to deal with that kind of people. Especially if you're gonna try to make others feel smaller than you. And I'm not about that.

SPEAKER_00 33:55

Yeah, and last thing I'm gonna say is where do we find these clubs? Well, you find them on SVC. They have a whole little selection on there that says parties. Yep. Parties and events. Parties and events. You can find those. You'll find house parties, you'll find meet and greets, you'll find clubs, hotel takeovers, hotel takeovers, and you can click on those and see people's reviews. Whether they're good or bad. You can read them and judge for yourself.

SPEAKER_01 34:23

Right.

SPEAKER_00 34:23

And then, well, you're not really going to be able to judge for yourself until you get there and you get to experience.

SPEAKER_01 34:28

But you'll be able to figure out where along the lines that club is.

SPEAKER_00 34:34

Where they lie. And then, yeah, but if you don't have an SDC, uh feel free to get one using our promo code 37673. That gets you one month free of SDC, which stands for Seek, Discover, Connect. I think it is probably the best website for lifestyle. Do you got anything else?

SPEAKER_01 34:55

I agree, but I feel like you need to just audio clip that for a commercial for now.

SPEAKER_00 35:00

Ew, I'll do these on the on the fly.

SPEAKER_01 35:02

I know, but that one was really good.

SPEAKER_00 35:04

Yeah. But I think it is the best uh website. And then you know what, shit, whatever you when you use our promo code, uh, we get a little pre we get a little bit of percentage uh what is paid, however, your first month's free, and then all that money goes to a charity. So we don't see a single penny of this. It all goes to a charity.

SPEAKER_01 35:26

It does.

SPEAKER_00 35:27

All right, babe. On that note, do you have anything else for this topic?

SPEAKER_01 35:32

I do not. I feel like we've touched just about everything.

SPEAKER_00 35:35

I do want to say we're not trying to throw shade at people. No. Um, we're not trying to yuck anybody's yum. If they want to go to a club where there is no condom play, if they want to go to a club where people are just doing what the fuck ever, then if that's your yum, then cool. Rock it. Right. But like I said if you want to be safe and whatever else like that, and if hygiene and cleanliness is ooh, I said it right the first time, is um is a part of your thing, then just yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:11

I mean, like I said in the beginning, like they're I would say a good majority would agree with our red flags. We know they're not gonna hit everybody. And they're ours. There are red flags. We're not saying that should be everybody's red flags, but th that's our red flags. And if you you know can relate to these red flags, then you're among the ones that I say are agreeable. But if you don't agree, I'm not we're not trying to offend anyone, these are just our beliefs and red flags.

SPEAKER_00 36:47

And like I said, I mean we're we would still go to an area where the there's maybe one red flag. Yeah. But if there's enough to where we don't feel safe, if there's enough to where we don't feel comfortable to stay, comfortable to even play, right, then we're probably not gonna go back. No. And you know, this is more for the the new individuals that are wanting to experience the lifestyle. Last thing I want them to do is get completely turned off and leave the lifestyle based off of one experience that was fucking horrible.

SPEAKER_01 37:27

Yeah, no, and that's that is probably very likely to happen a good bit in this with new people. Yeah. If they especially if they don't know what to look for or what they should expect going in.

SPEAKER_00 37:41

One more thing on reference. Oh goodness, okay. Just one more real quick. If there is too many singles, whether it's single men or single women, and this is just ours, this is just our experience, if there's too many single men or single women, I'm probably not gonna go. Because our rules is couples only and whatever else. And that's just in my opinion, if a couple is looking for a couple, but there is a fucking sausage party or a ham sandwich party, a folded ham sandwich, then they're not gonna find exactly what they're looking for.

SPEAKER_03 38:27

Right.

SPEAKER_00 38:29

And that's just another red flag. And and I may be like I mean, okay, I'll be able to do it.

SPEAKER_01 38:35

It may be the unpoular people.

SPEAKER_02 38:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:44

If this is like advertised as couples swinger event, then it should not overpower the couples.

SPEAKER_00 38:55

And the same thing with the hot husband event, too.

SPEAKER_01 38:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:58

Like which I've never seen one of those, but who knows? They may exist. But I mean, that that might be a thing. I don't I don't fucking know.

SPEAKER_01 39:07

No, no, no. That should be.

SPEAKER_00 39:08

Anywho, uh, yeah, those are just our red flags, and I mean, I hope this episode will help someone out there. Um but we're not trying to yuck anybody's yum, and we're not trying to throw shade at anybody. No, these are just our opinions. And yeah. So other than that, do you got anything else, babe?

SPEAKER_01 39:28

No.

SPEAKER_00 39:28

All right, cool. On that note, stay safe, stay sexy, stay weird.

SPEAKER_01 39:33

And keep swinging those pineapples.

SPEAKER_00 39:35

Bye y'all.

SPEAKER_01 39:35

Bye y'all. Thank you for tuning in to In the Playroom Podcast. If you've enjoyed this episode, please make sure to give it a five-star rating from wherever you are listening. Don't forget to also follow us on Instagram at STC. If you have any questions, comments, or feedback, please feel free to reach out and email us at in the playroompodcast at gmail.com and let us know what's on your mind. We might just feature it in our next episode. Stay sexy, stay weird, and stay safe and keep swinging those pineapples.