Episode 13: Know Before You Go! STI Testing in Ethical Non-Monogamy!

In the world of ethical non-monogamy, communication and trust are everything — and sexual health is a huge part of that foundation. In this episode, we break down why regular STD/STI testing is essential for maintaining safe, respectful, and confident connections in the lifestyle. We talk about how often couples should consider testing, how to bring up the conversation with new partners, and why removing the stigma around sexual health makes the entire community stronger. With over 13 years in the lifestyle, we share real experiences and practical advice to help you feel more comfortable, informed, and empowered. Because in the lifestyle, being responsible isn’t just attractive — it’s essential. 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:09

Welcome to In the Playroom, the podcast where the doors are open, the lights are low, and nothing is off limits.

SPEAKER_00 0:16

We're your host, Jason and Stephanie. Each week, we're bringing you honest, unfiltered conversations from our personal journeys to the swinging lifestyle.

SPEAKER_02 0:24

Just a heads up, we are not professionals, therapists, or lifestyle experts. What we share here is based on our own real experiences. The good, the awkward, and the absolutely unforgettable.

SPEAKER_00 0:36

Whether you're curious, already exploring, or just love hearing what goes down behind closed doors, you've got a place right here with us.

SPEAKER_02 0:43

So kick off your shoes, pour a drink, and step into the playroom.

SPEAKER_00 0:59

All right, babe. And today we're actually going to talk about a pretty important uh topic. Yes. Uh we're kind of actually doing these in almost like series, like it's it's kind of in a row. Uh last episode we talked about red flags, and one of the important uh aspects of it was STI protection, STI treatment, or not STI treatment, but STI STD protection and the importance of it.

SPEAKER_03 1:23

Right.

SPEAKER_00 1:23

So this episode, what I'd like to talk about is just the importance of STD and STI prevention, as well as in the event you have that, you know, wild, crazy night and it just so happens to happen.

SPEAKER_02 1:38

Well, not even not even a wild crazy night. I feel like testing should happen regularly, anyways.

SPEAKER_00 1:44

Yeah, yeah, you're yeah, that's right. I was thinking for some reason, I was thinking like STI like um treatment instead of testing.

SPEAKER_02 1:53

Yeah, you did you said them backwards.

SPEAKER_00 1:54

Yeah, I did. So what I want to talk about is you know, it's so hard and it's still taboo for um within the lifestyle for people to talk about STDs or STIs, and not just like not just if they have them or whatever, but also like normalizing the testing.

SPEAKER_03 2:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:17

Like it is so hard for that, and I don't understand why, and it should be normalized.

SPEAKER_02 2:24

Well, I mean you know, sexual health is just as important as you know normal health any other health topic, you know? It shouldn't be like an awkward conversation, it shouldn't be correct left and unsaid.

SPEAKER_00 2:42

I mean, the thing is, is like if if I have a fucking cold, I'm gonna tell people, sorry, we can't do anything this weekend because I have a cold.

SPEAKER_03 2:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:52

It should ultimately be the same thing. Hey, sorry, we can't do anything. We're getting tested for an upcoming trip.

SPEAKER_03 2:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:59

I mean, and there there needs to be like some type of normalcy to it and just just okayness to it. But for some reason, it's it's really not. And what would it shouldn't be awkward to talk about it. And honestly, I think it should be expected for people in the lifestyle to talk about it. I think it should be expected just as much as if we're talking about our rules and boundaries and anything else.

SPEAKER_02 3:27

Well, when it comes to the lifestyle, avoiding that conversation just puts you at so many risks.

SPEAKER_00 3:33

Correct. Yeah, it really does. Like it it you don't know.

SPEAKER_02 3:40

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 3:40

You're you're literally traveling into the unknown. Well, and they're if you if you end up playing with them.

SPEAKER_02 3:46

Well, yeah, and they could be asymptomatic, so you would have no idea by looking that something was up. But if you ask those questions beforehand, if they they're truthful and honest people, they'll tell you the truth.

SPEAKER_00 3:58

Yeah. And that's the thing with like the asymptomatic issues is like you you you're not showing symptoms. Everything could look clean, everything could I don't I don't know if you can taste SDIs or STDs or not. I'm assuming you could.

SPEAKER_02 4:13

I'm sure it would make it taste different. But I mean when I when I say like avoiding it, you know, could make it to where, you know, whatever. And then asymptomatic, you know, those people don't know they're asymptomatic until they get tested. And that's one thing I would say that we kind of are like not stay clear of, but when people say they don't get tested regularly, we kind of well, uh when people say that they don't get tested regularly, um, we will give them uh ways to get tested.

SPEAKER_00 4:46

Right. Uh we will show them ways how to get tested, uh, whether it's through uh shameless care or through their health care provider, if they say, hey, you know, I'm nervous about talking to people, whatever else like that, like we'll kind of help guide them. But we're also gonna talk to them about the importance of it. Right. Because in in all honesty, like removing the stigma helps people like make better, safer choices.

SPEAKER_03 5:12

Right.

SPEAKER_00 5:13

You're not going into the unknown.

SPEAKER_02 5:16

It needs to be talked about more. So that stigma does get removed.

SPEAKER_00 5:20

And you know, people say, oh, well, you know, we only play with condoms. Well, okay, so do we. You know, that's one of our things, is you know, condoms are a must. But you could still pass it with oral. Correct. You could still pass it with oral, and condoms aren't a hundred percent. Condoms are not a hundred percent.

SPEAKER_02 5:40

You're right, they're not.

SPEAKER_00 5:42

So, I mean, any type of bodily fluids or whatever else, like you could still get it. So, I mean, and and it's important. It's like it's important to break down the the the barriers of how it's taboo and whatever else like that. And what I'm gonna say is like it needs to be agreed upon boundaries of hey, here's my test results. Can I please see yours?

SPEAKER_03 6:10

Right.

SPEAKER_00 6:11

Or whatever else like that. And I get it, like some people is like, oh, well, that's HIPAA. Okay. And I completely understand where you're coming from, but it's not like I'm trying to figure out your entire fucking medical health, you know.

SPEAKER_02 6:26

But I mean, it's not even it's not even that hard if you're t getting tested to screenshot those and then you can black out whatever you don't want people to see.

SPEAKER_00 6:36

Well, okay, yes. I'm gonna say do not black out your name.

SPEAKER_02 6:39

Don't yeah, don't black out your name because or the date. Um those are anything else that are like personal identifiers or things like that.

SPEAKER_00 6:49

Correct. Like for like if you have your social or your address on there or whatever else like that, you know, obviously, yes, black those out.

SPEAKER_03 6:56

Right.

SPEAKER_00 6:56

But do not black out your name. Uh, do not black out the date uh the test was done and everything else like that. And you know, what I want to talk about is like knowing your part, like knowing your partner's expectations on this. And this is a thing that you and your partner need to talk about of hey, you know, these are this is what we're doing together. This is a great idea, this is a great way to say safe, and get their expectations on testing, get their expectations on when they want to get tested, and everything else like that.

SPEAKER_02 7:32

That way, and that way you're agreeing on like what's safe play looks like for your relationship. But like with all of that being said, this is all like the prevention, and it's the prevention starts before play even happens. And then it prevention isn't just about wearing condoms and making sure you're you're safe in that aspect, but it's about the communication that like comes beforehand.

SPEAKER_00 7:57

Yeah. It really does. Right. And and I think it needs to be a conversation between the two partners, but also I think it needs to be a conversation between those two partners and whoever they bring in, whoever they decide to bring into their circle or potentially play with, whatever else like that. You know, you were talking about you know, asymptomatics and everything, and the thing is, is that is important to to say because a lot of STDs can be asymptomatic. Can like that there's gone there's not gonna be any visible symptoms. There there won't be. The only way that you're gonna truly know that you are safe and clean, and and okay, so let me say this. I hate saying clean because that's that's really a derogatory, I kind of feel like that could be a derogatory term towards people.

SPEAKER_02 8:52

Because in this lifestyle, we we chance that every day.

SPEAKER_00 8:56

Correct. But what I'm gonna say, instead of clean, I'm gonna stay, I'm gonna say STD free. But you know, and you you again you can't rely on that, oh well I'm feeling fine.

SPEAKER_02 9:09

But this is why it's so important to get regularly tested. Because there's so m so many options for asymptomatic. Yes, there are ones that are not asymptomatic that you can visibly see and things like that. But there are so many unknowns when it comes to asymptomatics.

SPEAKER_00 9:28

Oh yeah, I know. One thing I do want to say is like, you know, we're talking about regularly tested. So what is that? So for us, uh well, okay, so you tell you tell our listeners what it is for us.

SPEAKER_02 9:41

I mean, us personally, I say we at least every three months, if not more.

SPEAKER_00 9:47

So yeah. So if we're not playing, yeah, uh, I'm gonna say once every three months. Now, in the event or if we have like the normal play partners. Right. Um, and like, I mean, it's I'm not gonna say they go off and fuck other people. I'm gonna say like we all have the same group, we're all in the same tribe, so to say.

SPEAKER_03 10:09

Right.

SPEAKER_00 10:09

And then yeah, but we also everybody still gets tested, everybody, whatever else.

SPEAKER_02 10:15

But we all also still enjoy the random hotel takeovers that were there by ourselves and not with our tribe and correct. Those kinds of events. Like we don't we're not always with them.

SPEAKER_00 10:26

Correct. And when we're in those events, we don't wait the three months, we get tested right after. Right after. Or I'm gonna say we we wait probably about a week. That way we know like if anything is in like um what is it uh shit, what is it called? Fucking growing thing, you know what I mean? Fuck what's the word?

SPEAKER_02 10:51

Don't just say I don't know what word I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 10:54

Okay, if any of our listeners know the word that I'm trying to think of, please, please, please email us and then just tell me how stupid I am and how easy the word is. But you meant what I knew. But no, like before and after big events, honestly, before and after big events, uh, that we get tested regularly.

SPEAKER_03 11:13

Right.

SPEAKER_00 11:13

Um, like before we go to naughty, we will have a test right before Naughty. Uh, we will have a test probably during Naughty, uh, with shameless care. Um, and then right after that, before we go to our, you know, back home, uh, before we start hanging out with our normal group again, right? We'll get tested again just to make sure, like, hey, we didn't bring anything back from Naughty. Right. Now, how do you talk to someone? How do you talk to a couple about saying, hey, you know, let's talk about STDs. Let's talk about SDIs.

SPEAKER_02 11:51

I mean, in all honesty, when it comes to that, you just kind of have to be in the most respectful way you can, just be direct and ask those questions. You can't tiptoe around it because I feel like that can almost make either make them feel or make you come off as like you're almost accusing them. But if you're just direct and be like, We're very conscious of ours. Have y'all been tested recently? What's y'all's like results?

SPEAKER_00 12:18

Don't be like, eh, so like Yeah, and and I would say do not take um the DDF or whatever when people say, Oh, I'm DDF. Do not take that as them saying they've been tested recently. No. Um, again, like some of these will be asymptomatic, there will be no signs or symptoms that you have anything. Uh, there's not going to be any bumps or just visibly signs, visible signs. And like I said, I don't know if they have smells or taste, different taste, or whatever else like that.

SPEAKER_02 12:51

Right. I mean, within the lifestyle, we should be just normalizing, asking whoever you're intending on playing with, like, hey, when was the last time you were tested?

SPEAKER_00 13:00

And you know, what thing that I like to do is I will like to send my or send our results to them and just say, hey, just so y'all are aware, this is our test results. Obviously, you can see we're all negative.

SPEAKER_03 13:14

Right.

SPEAKER_00 13:15

Um, and whatever else like that. And if they say, cool, yeah, uh, we don't get tested, then again, like I said, I mean, we're gonna talk to them about the importance of testing. Right. And then, you know, we're we're not gonna play with them until we know for sure that that they're clean or whatever else like that, or not clean, they're std, st i free. Um, and then go from there.

SPEAKER_02 13:38

But by sharing our our own almost creates that like comfort level for them to be able to open up instead of just flat out asking, I'm not gonna give you mine, but do you have yours? This way, it's kind of an almost smoother way of putting it out there than just asking the question.

SPEAKER_00 13:57

But like, I mean, our goal isn't to scare people, like our goal is to inform them, you know, where we're at, um, and just try to help them if they if they haven't got tested, if they're afraid to get tested, if they're afraid of the conversations that may come from getting tested, whether it's at their family doctor or whatever else like that, we just want to ensure them, like, hey, this is fucking normal.

SPEAKER_02 14:22

And you know, protecting you and other people.

SPEAKER_00 14:24

Yeah, and it's protecting you and other people. And there are other avenues for you to to take in the event all you have is your family doctor and you're afraid of being judged and whatever else like that. Like, I remember your uh OBGYN was that was a whole ass Christian hospital. And when you went in to have like your pap smear and shit, and then you had to get tested and whatever else like that, uh, they they actually asked you if you wanted to get tested, and you were like, Yes. And she was like, Okay, why have you had more than one sexual partner in the past you know six months or a year or whatever? Whatever.

SPEAKER_02 15:04

I don't remember what the date was.

SPEAKER_00 15:05

And you said yes, and she knew that you were married to me, and she didn't she's known that we have you know an older child together.

SPEAKER_02 15:13

Yeah, well, and I was actually pregnant at the time, it was my uh like initial like workup for the my pregnancy.

SPEAKER_00 15:20

But ultimately, what I'm gonna say is it's it's really none of the fucking doctor's business why you want to get tested. And even if they put two and two together, there's always that uh you know, doctor-patient confidentiality, right? That's gonna protect you from them talking to other people. And if they do talk to other people and the word gets around, no, they're breaking HIPAA laws, they're breaking fucking laws, yeah. And they shouldn't be in that position, anyways. Right.

SPEAKER_02 15:46

So I mean my personal care physician, whenever I we were on this topic not too long ago, she was just like, Was there a reason why you want to get STI and STD tested? And I was like, Well, yeah, I mean Yeah. And she was like, Okay, do you and are you and your husband swingers? Like she immediately was like, Are y'all swingers?

SPEAKER_00 16:11

But like it was almost I didn't hear this story. Fucking tell me this.

SPEAKER_02 16:15

But it was more of like This is hilarious. It was more almost like it was very much like curiosity. There was no judgment like I got from my OBGYN. This one was just like straight up. And then she was like, Okay, what kind of partners are we talking about? And she was like, and I'm asking this because I so I know what to test for, yeah. What to test for? And she's like, so I know I need if I need to test for like like the diseases that are more common with like drug addicts and stuff, yeah. And I was like, Well, I mean, I don't do that and I don't play with people that do that, but I mean, if there's a way of getting it from sex, then go ahead and throw it in there. She's like, I'm going to, but I just needed to ask that first. And I was like, okay, I want it all. And she's like, okay, done.

SPEAKER_00 17:00

Yeah. And then they'll do like the whole panels, they'll do the mouse swabs and everything else like that. Right. But I mean, you know, the thing is, is like, it's what happens when that comes up. Like, what happens in the event you get a test or a positive result? Um, one thing I'm gonna say is just stay calm and just know that a lot of STDs, SDIs are treatable. And one thing is I want to say is like make sure you communicate to your partner and you communicate to the partners that you have played with, other individuals that you have played with, let them know quickly and just take responsibility for what happened. I mean, because you're just follow through with care.

SPEAKER_02 17:44

But you telling them is not you saying like it started with you. Correct. It's just hey, it's hey, you know, I I know we played recently, I've played with some other people too, and I got my regular screening done and it something came up. Yeah, I just want to let you know so you can go get tested and so you're safe.

SPEAKER_00 18:02

But the thing is, is it if they decide to say, oh, you're a fucking bad person or whatever else, don't don't worry about that.

SPEAKER_02 18:09

You don't need that anyway, because they're um no, they can't even they're doing the same shit.

SPEAKER_00 18:13

Well, what I'm gonna say is like transparency builds trust. Even in the toughest situations, transparency is going to build trust. If you are just completely transparent with them, if you tell them, hey, this is what happened, I'm gonna say that's gonna build a little bit of trust knowing.

SPEAKER_02 18:29

Well, yes, but if they respond in that way, fuck them. You're doing the right thing. Yeah. Like they have no right to judge you because they're they could have been the one that gave it to you, or they could, you know, they they could have it regardless from you. It could have been from somebody else.

SPEAKER_00 18:45

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 18:46

Like it acting like that has no business in this lifestyle. That's why so many people, that's the stigma of it. So, like, that's what we need to get rid of. That's not how we should be responding. Correct. We should be responding like with the oh my gosh, we should be responding like adults. Like, what do you need? Do you need anything? Thanks for letting me know. I'm gonna go get tested, I'm gonna go get this taken care of. Yeah, we should be spotning like thank you for letting me know.

SPEAKER_00 19:10

Yeah, we should be responding like adults and caring human beings. Yes. Like, I mean, if your friend tells you that you're they're sick, you're gonna ask them, hey, do you need anything?

unknown 19:20

Right.

SPEAKER_04 19:21

You know, there's nothing.

SPEAKER_00 19:22

Yeah, there's no difference. So Stephanie's getting really heated over here about that.

SPEAKER_01 19:27

So you make a statement and it made me mad. Sorry.

SPEAKER_00 19:30

So so before we continue, we're gonna take a quick break so that way she can, you know, just you know, walk around, whatever else, scream, whatever, whatever she needs to do.

SPEAKER_01 19:40

I don't need to do any of that.

SPEAKER_00 19:41

But we'll be right back. Uh, we'll take a just a quick couple minute break and then we'll be we'll continue it. All right.

unknown 19:48

All right.

SPEAKER_00 19:50

We would like to take a minute to talk about something really important in the lifestyle: sexual health.

SPEAKER_02 19:55

Yes, communication and consent are huge parts of the lifestyle, but staying on top of your health is just as important.

SPEAKER_00 20:01

That's why we're excited to tell you about shameless care. They provide sex positive health care designed for people who want discrete, judgment-free testing and support from an actual certified physician.

SPEAKER_02 20:12

And one of the things we love about them is that they actually understand the lifestyle community. Their testing options are comprehensive, private, and designed to make it easy to stay proactive about your health.

SPEAKER_00 20:23

And let's be honest, the easier testing is, the more likely people are going to actually do it.

SPEAKER_02 20:29

Exactly. Taking care of yourself and your partners is one of the most responsible things you can do in the lifestyle.

SPEAKER_00 20:34

So if you're looking for convenient, confidential sexual health service, check out Shameless Care.

SPEAKER_02 20:41

Because confidence in the playroom starts with confidence in your health. And by using the promo code ITP at checkout, you can get$15 off.

SPEAKER_00 20:49

One more thing before we get back to the show. If you do not have an SDC, please feel free to get one using our promo code 37673. By using that code, it'll get you one month free of premium access. Seek Discover Connect. I honestly think that it is the best website for ethical non-monogamy or lifestyle. That code again is 37673. Now back to the show. Welcome back, welcome back. You okay, baby? Yeah, I'm good. Are you are you good?

SPEAKER_02 21:23

Yes, but this is gonna lead me into my next point.

SPEAKER_00 21:26

Well, what's funny is both sorry, listeners know, you like sprinted up and down our driveway trying to get there. Just like, yeah. I did not. But no, I'm kidding. All right, so go for it, baby.

SPEAKER_02 21:37

Well, so the lifestyle community, like, it thrives on trust, honesty, and respect. And by responding in the way that you suggested is none of those things.

SPEAKER_00 21:51

Um I I didn't say suggest.

SPEAKER_02 21:53

No, no, I'm saying the way you said it, the fur the But you said suggested. You said the way you suggested. Suggestion.

SPEAKER_00 22:02

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 22:02

The first suggestion.

SPEAKER_00 22:04

That wasn't a suggestion.

SPEAKER_02 22:05

It was just a comment. But whatever. Regardless.

SPEAKER_00 22:08

I was never suggesting people to reply back to someone who may be positive. I think it was me.

SPEAKER_02 22:14

And just be like, anyways, that's not the way to respond. The way to respond is to be respectful and then honest and everything like that. But that's what being able to share your results is going to um bring into the like bring more normally into this lifestyle about testing. Because if you openly say that, I mean, the more people actually start doing it and handling it appropriately, the more love and freedom we'll have in this thing.

SPEAKER_00 22:48

Yeah, and you know, I'm gonna say that I would like to believe like the amount of people that get tested in the world, I'm gonna say a good majority of them are individuals that play with other people, whether it's ethical non-monogamy. A lot of these people that are on Tinder and shit that you're meeting, that that single individuals, whether men or females or even couples that you're meeting on Tinder, whether it's a couple looking for a single female, single male, whatever else, it doesn't matter what what type of fucking like equation you're wanting, if you're finding them off of like, sorry, whatever type of equation you're wanting, if you're finding them like off of Tinder or fucking bumble or whatever, half of these people don't give a fuck about you. They're just wanting a one-night stand.

SPEAKER_02 23:38

Well, even if you're doing that they're not gonna get tested, but even if you're they don't care. But that's still not, nothing's wrong with that. I'm not saying anything's wrong. No, no, no, no. I mean you could use Tinder and Bumble, whatever. But if you ask them about testing, like any individual that says they get tested regularly, that means they take their health seriously, for one, and two, all they're doing is helping the community. The community is what benefits from that.

SPEAKER_00 24:05

But what I'm saying is more people on SDC. Well, yes, no, I get that.

SPEAKER_02 24:09

But I'm saying to you can still ask those questions on Tinder and Bumble because they'll tell you the truth. I mean, I I would hope they would tell you the truth. But if they say they get tested regularly, that immediately will show you that at least they give a shit.

SPEAKER_00 24:24

Well, I think Tinder and Bumble is more or less for singles. Not yes, singles, but they're also for like just the one night stands. They're they're not they're not for the long-term relationships or the friendships or whatever else like that.

SPEAKER_02 24:38

Then that's fine if that's what people are looking for. Then they can still ask them if they've been tested.

SPEAKER_00 24:42

Yeah, and we're not trying to yuck anybody's yum. I'm just all I'm getting at is individuals on that site are less likely to be tested. And what I'm what I'm getting at I get that is the stigma that we're all fucking negative or we're all positive and we're all everything correct. That's that's what I'm fucking. Now I'm about to go run up and down the road because now you're getting me heated.

SPEAKER_02 25:06

No, what I'm saying is, what I'm saying, listen, Linda, what I'm saying is what the listeners don't know is I was over here making faces at you. Correct. Listen, Linda.

SPEAKER_00 25:19

What I'm saying is is we as a community within the SDC community, or not just SEC, but SD, SDC, SLS, Cassidy, 3Fund, whatever else, an ethical non-monogamous platform community, whether it's Fat Life or fucking whatever, we are more cautious about STD, STI testing. We are the stigma is we're all positive and we're all running around with gonorrhea and fucking chlamydia and whatever else that you could think of.

SPEAKER_02 25:54

Infecting the rest of the state.

SPEAKER_00 25:55

But what I'm saying is the same people that are thinking that about us is the vanillas that are on Tinder and Bumble looking for the fucking one night stand that do not take testing seriously. There are more swingers that take testing seriously than vanilla individuals.

SPEAKER_02 26:13

I agree. But calm down. I wasn't trying to like make you a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of I'm not mad.

SPEAKER_00 26:19

I know. You're just over there shaking your head. Calm down, bro. Okay, whatever.

SPEAKER_02 26:24

It's not that serious. It is. STI testing is serious.

SPEAKER_00 26:27

Yeah, getting tested for SCDs and STIs is very serious.

SPEAKER_02 26:32

I agree.

SPEAKER_00 26:34

Now I don't know where to go because you were heated before we went on the break, and after I got after we came back from the break, you got me heated.

SPEAKER_02 26:42

Let's just move on.

SPEAKER_00 26:45

You're getting it tonight. Just so you know, you're getting it.

SPEAKER_02 26:48

Oh, okay. Whatever. Um moving on. Risk risk awareness and getting tested and things like that is very important. And no one should fear having to do that. Like it's correct, it's just a responsible choice, and responsible choices just open you up for more freedom and more fun.

SPEAKER_04 27:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:12

I mean, being able to like the prevention allows the lifestyle to stay fun and and just continue doing like sustainable. Yeah, sustainable. Like and and grow. Well, I'm I'm not even gonna say sustainable, but I'm gonna say it can it can grow.

SPEAKER_02 27:27

Continue to grow.

SPEAKER_00 27:28

Yeah, it can continue to grow.

SPEAKER_02 27:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 27:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:34

I mean, in all honesty, everybody everybody is responsible for getting themselves tested and letting their partners know that's just respect. That's just being respectful of the people you're playing with and respecting people's boundaries who are very conscious about who they play with and things like that.

SPEAKER_00 27:55

It's it's normal.

SPEAKER_02 27:57

It's normal. Like you should be respecting other people's boundaries around safety by make taking the steps that are needed to help aid the prevention, basically.

SPEAKER_00 28:08

Correct. I mean, this is like any boundary that we were like you're talking about within lifestyle. Like, I mean, some people have boundaries of no kissing.

SPEAKER_03 28:16

Right.

SPEAKER_00 28:17

Some people don't want like their their risk of like their tolerant risk is a lot lower than a lot of other people's because they don't want to potentially get mono, or they don't want to get uh anything anything, or like uh the fucking oral gonorrhea that could be transferred through kissing. You never fucking know. And the only way you're gonna be able to test for oral gonorrhea is with a a mouth swab. But I mean, and and that's what I'm saying, is like, and that's what you're getting at is people's tolerant risk to play differs.

SPEAKER_02 28:51

Yeah, well, and especially when it comes around safety, but like I know like from our past experiences, we've had couples who like require us to show them our test results, which that's okay. A lot of the times we send them anyways, and that's how we start the conversation. Yeah, but also you know, others will will rely on the communication and just like rely on that the other couple to be honest. And we have moments like that too.

SPEAKER_00 29:24

And I'm gonna say, yeah, but the the the communication honesty is going to typically happen with the individuals that we have known, we have gotten to know, right? Uh we have gotten close with.

SPEAKER_02 29:35

That's not gonna be the first time we meet somebody that's saying we're clean, just us go.

SPEAKER_00 29:39

And typically they know when we have, you know, play settings or whatever else like that. Um, whatever else. I mean, I mean, you know, whenever it comes to the yeah, hey, I got tested last week, whatever else like that, those are the same people that we've already sent like our test results to. Right. Uh, we'll send them pictures of when we get tested. They know for a fact that we get tested and they trust the fact that we get tested. Right. And that's what I'm getting at. Is like, yeah, the communication aspect is, you know, I think it's okay.

SPEAKER_02 30:12

When it's people you know when you that you've known for a while that you know you can trust. You can't know you can trust someone on the first time you meet them.

SPEAKER_00 30:19

Like, I mean, if we have someone that we hang out with like every fucking other weekend, we pretty much know what they do, they know what we do, whatever else. They've sent our they've sent us their test results, we've sent them our test results. And if I just randomly got a picture of test results saying, hey, we're clean, I'd be like, Cool. Didn't say you weren't. Like I kind of already knew that. Like, I mean, you know, whatever else. So I mean, and that's the thing, is like the the communication aspect can differ, and I think it should differ. Right. Based on the based on the relationship. But there's also some people that do not like they'll just meet someone. And this goes back to the whole tender, whatever bullshit that I'm not gonna get back into.

SPEAKER_04 31:07

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:08

But they will just say they will meet someone. Hey, do you get tested?

SPEAKER_02 31:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:13

Cool. Okay, cool.

SPEAKER_00 31:15

Okay, cool.

SPEAKER_02 31:16

You didn't ask them if they had anything. But at the same time, if you'd literally just met them, I don't know that I would immediately jump the gun and be like, I know you're clean.

SPEAKER_00 31:24

Yeah, correct. But there are some people that do that. And I'm not trying to yuck anybody's yum, but again, like that's one of our important rules is to always play with condoms. Right. Even if we even if we're tested, we're clean, and another couple's tested and they're clean, we still utilize.

SPEAKER_02 31:41

We're still using the condoms. Condoms, yeah. Yeah. But um all of this, like, there is nothing to be shameful about when it comes to getting tested regularly. And in all honesty, I don't feel like there should be any anything any shame felt when it comes to being honest with people you've played with when you've played with them and something comes back on your test results. There's nothing shameful in that.

SPEAKER_00 32:08

But no, there's not.

SPEAKER_02 32:10

We should be empowering each other, not like shaming each other. Like empowerment over shame every day of the week.

SPEAKER_00 32:18

I mean, and it shows confidence and it shows the maturity, and it it just shows respect for all individuals that are in the scenario. And not not I'm not even gonna say scenario, it shows respect and maturity and confidence within the lifestyle.

SPEAKER_02 32:35

But you know what? I also feel like being proactive like that shows how serious you are about the responsibilities that you have as somebody in the lifestyle, but there's just something about it that is attractive to have somebody like be open and honest about it and doing it regularly. Yeah, like that is a very attractive quality when it comes to the lifestyle.

SPEAKER_00 33:03

Because it's showing respect, right? And it's is showing that that they're not gonna try to cross any boundaries.

SPEAKER_02 33:08

And I take the time to do what I need to do and be what I need to be so we can be in this in a trusting way.

SPEAKER_00 33:16

Yeah. And the thing is, is like, I mean, if you want to get tested, I mean, there are like if if your insurance is pays for you to get tested, by all means, use your insurance. If it's free, use it. There isn't a I'm not gonna say there is, there's a wrong way to get tested. As long as you're doing something, you're doing something.

SPEAKER_03 33:38

Right.

SPEAKER_00 33:39

Now, you could use the Melan ones, uh whatever else, um, or you could even use shameless care. And what's cool about shameless care is they they will literally put you up with a certified physician in your state, in your state to say, hey, this is what's going on, whether you're clean or not clean, whether you're SDI free or SDI positive, or whatever else, this is what's going on. And then in the event you are SDI positive, they will help you treat it. They will give you treatments, they will prescribe you medicine for it, whatever else.

SPEAKER_02 34:15

And they even they even ask you before you even get to the results for your testing and stuff, what pharmacy you would prefer. So when something comes back, if they're if something does come back, they already know where to send the medication to. Correct. So before they even call and talk to you, more than likely they've already sent that prescription.

SPEAKER_00 34:33

Or or they send it straight to your door. And it there's you it's completely.

SPEAKER_02 34:45

That's in your intake forms is your uh preferred pharmacy.

SPEAKER_00 34:49

Well, I also do know that they will send you medication. So for um shameless care, they don't just do STD or SDI testing and treatments, they also do sexual health, whether it's ED, uh, whether it's arousal products for females, whether it's creams, whether it's uh injections for men, ED, whatever else like that. Now, I will say for our listeners, please, please, please, if you have blue chew, or if you take blue chew, or if you take any of these other fucking random ones, go on their website and just go to their learning center and read the article about blue chew and what you're actually taking.

SPEAKER_02 35:36

It also talks about the E D medicine you can get off of hens.

SPEAKER_00 35:39

Correct, and other websites like Row and whatever else. Because what you're actually taking may not, you may not know exactly what the fuck you're taking.

SPEAKER_03 35:49

Right.

SPEAKER_00 35:49

And they will break it down for you. And they also have like a podcast on there, Sex is good podcast and all of that. So please, if if you take that, you know, go to their website, shamelesscare.com and just go to their learning center and just read some of it. And again, like I mean, they they do they do provide medication. So I'm I'm assuming, and don't quote me on this, but because they will mail medication, your prescriptions for ED, for arousals, whatever else like that, yeah, because they will mail that to your door, I'm assuming that they will mail treatments to your door. I I'm just not sure. But I'm not sure. So don't take my word for it. But they will make sure that you are taken care of.

SPEAKER_02 36:40

Right. They will get you if you have anything that comes back, if it they don't have it, the medicine to send to you, they're going to send it to that preferred pharmacy that you put in your paperwork.

SPEAKER_00 36:50

Yeah. But I mean, um I don't have anything else other than please, please, please, you know, if you want to go get tested, go get tested. And please, not if you want to go get tested.

SPEAKER_02 37:05

Just fucking go get tested. Go get tested. I mean, so like to end it, I want to say like the lifestyle is built on these connections we have, and those connections need to be protected. And it starts with protecting your own health.

SPEAKER_00 37:21

Yeah. It does.

SPEAKER_02 37:24

And by doing that, you're helping everybody else.

SPEAKER_00 37:26

Yeah. And you're not just helping anybody everybody else, you're also growing. You're also normalizing it. You're and that's a thing, is it it needs to be normalized talking about.

SPEAKER_02 37:39

It does.

SPEAKER_00 37:39

Even in the most sexual freedom lifestyle there is, for some reason, it still feels taboo talking about it.

SPEAKER_02 37:48

It does. It's and it fucking shouldn't be. If I can let somebody else fuck me, I should be able to talk to them about protection. Yeah, testing and protection, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:57

And protecting yourselves and protecting him and protecting you and protect and protecting your future play partners and protecting me and whatever else. I mean, it should be normalized.

SPEAKER_02 38:08

It should.

SPEAKER_00 38:09

But anyways, so but again, if you want to go get tested and want to use shameless care, uh use our promo code ITP. Uh that's gonna give you$15 off of your order. Um and yeah, I mean, if you get it off of Amazon, you're not gonna get shit. Uh you're not gonna get that$15 off. If you get it off of uh just what other another fucking website, uh, you're not gonna get that fifteen dollars off. The only way you're gonna get that fifteen dollars off is if you go to shamelesscare.com. And you use our promo code ITP. Yes. You know, I mean swingers being ethical non-monogamy is extremely fucking expensive. It is. So why not save a penny when you can?

SPEAKER_01 38:57

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 38:58

In my opinion, we're going to Naughty in New Orleans.$15 will buy you a shot there. Hey, fuck it. That's a free shot. Are you gonna turn down a free shot? Nope. Hell no, you're not. But anyhow. Alright, so on that note, uh, you got anything else? Nope. All right, y'all. Stay safe, stay weird, stay sexy.

SPEAKER_01 39:20

You said that all fucking wrong. No, I did not.

SPEAKER_00 39:23

Stay safe, stay weird, stay sexy.

SPEAKER_01 39:26

And keep swinging those pineapples. Stay sexy, stay safe, stay weird, and keep swinging those pineapples.

SPEAKER_00 39:33

Stay sexy, stay safe, stay weird. Isn't that how it goes? No, it's stay safe, stay stay shit, stay safe. Okay, pause. Unpause. We just played another episode, so I could correct uh Stephanie over here. Stephanie, what was it? What was I correct? You were correct, huh?

SPEAKER_01 39:55

You were correct.

SPEAKER_00 39:56

I got that shit on audio recording. You may have in your phone when you were correct.

SPEAKER_02 40:03

Uh-huh. No, it's not even when I was correct, it's when you were wrong.

SPEAKER_00 40:07

Yes, but I got this shit on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and everywhere else.

SPEAKER_02 40:15

Say your fucking line.

SPEAKER_00 40:16

All right. On that note, do you got anything? No. On that note, stay safe, stay sexy, stay weird.

SPEAKER_02 40:23

And keep swinging those pineapples.

SPEAKER_00 40:25

Bye, y'all.

SPEAKER_02 40:25

Bye, y'all. Thank you for tuning in to In the Playroom Podcast. If you've enjoyed this episode, please make sure to give it a five-star rating from wherever you are listening. Don't forget to also follow us on Instagram at STC. If you have any questions, comments, or feedback, please feel free to reach out and email us at in the playroompodcast at gmail.com and let us know what's on your mind. We might just feature it in our next episode. Stay sexy, stay weird, and stay safe and keep swinging those pineapples.