Episode 14: Well… That’s Awkward! When Someone You Know Finds Your SDC Profile

One of the biggest fears for many couples entering the lifestyle is simple: “What if someone we know finds our profile?” In this episode, we talk openly about those awkward but surprisingly common moments when your “vanilla” world collides with your lifestyle one.

We discuss how to react when friends, coworkers, acquaintances, or even unexpected family connections stumble across your SDC account — and why staying calm, confident, and respectful makes all the difference. From privacy settings and discretion tips to handling uncomfortable conversations and mutual surprises, we share personal insight and practical advice for navigating these moments without panic.

Because at the end of the day, if someone found your profile… they were probably on there too. 🍍😏

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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:09

Welcome to In the Playroom, the podcast where the doors are open, the lights are low, and nothing is off limits.

SPEAKER_05 0:16

We're your host, Jason and Stephanie. Each week, we're bringing you honest, unfiltered conversations from our personal journeys to the swinging lifestyle.

SPEAKER_02 0:24

Just a heads up, we are not professionals, therapists, or lifestyle experts. What we share here is based on our own real experiences. The good, the awkward, and the absolutely unforgettable.

SPEAKER_05 0:36

Whether you're curious, already exploring, or just love hearing what goes down behind closed doors, you've got a place right here with us.

SPEAKER_02 0:43

So kick off your shoes, pour a drink, and step into the playroom.

SPEAKER_05 0:59

And it has been a while. Uh, do we even know how to do this anymore?

SPEAKER_02 1:03

I don't think so.

SPEAKER_05 1:04

Oh my fucking god. We told them, we told all of our listeners, like, hey, we're gonna get better at this, and we did not. We did good for like two to three weeks and about a month, two weeks, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:18

Two weeks, and then we went back to yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:20

Well, and it didn't help that I also had like a uh business trip that I had to go on, and then by the time you came back, everything was just busy with my work and yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 1:30

Finally, this week is slowing things down.

SPEAKER_05 1:33

Well, I mean, you know, for our listeners, you're just gonna have to bear with us and hope to God, you know, we can catch back on pretty quick. Um, hopefully we remember how to do this in the middle of it. Uh, so yeah, it's yeah, it's gonna be fun. I'm gonna tell you. You know what else is gonna be fun?

SPEAKER_00 1:54

Naughty.

SPEAKER_05 1:54

Naughty. Yeah, we're gonna be in naughty uh this year. Uh I mean, we're not really gonna be doing um anything podcast related, but I mean, I might wear a shirt or something like that. But I mean, if you see us, by all means, come say hello. Um, yeah, it's gonna be a fucking blast. Um we've okay. Yeah, we've um well you were doing something. I was just confused.

SPEAKER_02 2:22

Um I am too, because you you're going back and forth between my two headphones.

SPEAKER_05 2:27

Oh, I don't I don't know. Uh okay. But anywho, um yeah, it's gonna be a lot of fun. We've picked out our outfits. I've actually ordered mine. You still gotta try on yours.

SPEAKER_02 2:39

Yeah, I do.

SPEAKER_05 2:40

And the yeah, in less than two months, we will be in New Orleans for Naughty in New Orleans. So it's gonna be fun. I'm excited. So um now that the fun's over, based on our, you know, based on our episode title, you can kind of figure out exactly where this is going for, going for um, you know, what this episode is about.

SPEAKER_01 3:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 3:03

Well, that was awkward when someone finds your SDC account. And you know, it's not necessarily just on SDC, it could be on Three Fun, it could be on SLS, Casty, Field, whatever else.

SPEAKER_01 3:16

Any of them.

SPEAKER_05 3:16

But I mean, it it can be fucking awkward. I mean, when that happens, what do you do? Like, how do you react? Well, I know I know how I reacted recently. Yeah, completely different than the way you reacted.

SPEAKER_01 3:30

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 3:32

I reacted like, woohoo, yay. But I mean, we're gonna talk about it and we're gonna talk about some key points, and these are more or less my key points because I think I'm very indifferent with you on this subject.

SPEAKER_02 3:48

Yeah, we have could we have very differing thoughts.

SPEAKER_05 3:51

Yeah, but I mean, maybe after you know, talking about this on the podcast and hearing me out what with you know key points and everything else like that, you may have this episode trying to convince me that you're right. I mean, no, but if I am, I am it is but I mean, obviously, you know, when that happens, um, and this doesn't necessarily have to be on an SEC profile or anything else like that. You could be at a club, uh, you could be at a meet and greet and run into these individuals or see these individuals. And regardless, your initial reaction is to panic. Uh-huh. But panicking is normal.

SPEAKER_02 4:32

Yes, it is.

SPEAKER_05 4:33

I mean, most lifestyle couples worry about being found out, worry about being outed and everything else like that. You know, and seeing a familiar face, whether it's at a bar or at a meeting greet or at a club or even on SDC, can create some instant anxiety and awkwardness because you're like, holy fuck, I had no idea they were in this. I thought we were just freaks.

SPEAKER_02 4:59

Fuck, what are we doing here, man?

SPEAKER_05 5:01

Yeah, exactly. It's like, you know, what are we actually doing here?

SPEAKER_02 5:04

Or the, you know, how did I not know?

SPEAKER_05 5:07

Correct. Well, and the thing is when it comes to profiles, a lot of people will cover their faces, and that's something that we did not do, and that's how we got seen. But I mean, and I've always went with the um the idea of well, if they're on that website, they're looking for the same thing we're looking for, so it really doesn't fucking matter.

SPEAKER_01 5:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 5:31

But I will say I think in some cases it does matter uh when it comes to protecting your job, when it comes to protecting your career, yeah, uh protecting your family, everything else like that. You know, that that is very, very, very important.

SPEAKER_03 5:45

Yes.

SPEAKER_05 5:46

So I mean, you know, now we have our faces covered, but we also do have a private album on our profile now.

SPEAKER_03 5:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 5:53

That you have to have a passcode to be able to see our faces, and then we also have a passcode for like naughty pictures and whatever else like that. But I mean, it is it's very, very like daunting on you, like when you find someone, when you hear someone saying, I saw your profile. I saw your profile. Whatever else.

SPEAKER_01 6:12

Oh fuck.

SPEAKER_05 6:12

But I mean, you know, if they are found, like if if they do find your profile, they were browsing too. That's the most important thing. They were browsing.

SPEAKER_02 6:21

It's not it's not like that they were say that, but you were not in that position.

SPEAKER_05 6:25

Cor yes, but I mean, this is a website that you really have to like you have to know about it. You have to know about it to be on it. Yeah, and it's the same thing with with meet and greets and clubs. You have to know about them to know about them. Um, you have to know about them to be able to go. And typically those are on the websites like SLS and SDC and everything else like that, the parties.

SPEAKER_01 6:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 6:49

So I mean, if you're if you get caught, remember, like, hey, they're in it too. Like, whatever else. So one thing I want to say is like, do not panic and do not overreact. Kind of like how you did. You completely fucking panicked.

SPEAKER_02 7:04

You called me, you were like, hey, I know I had a cup of cool common collected while the conversation was being had, but the second I walked out, I was like, what the fuck just happened?

SPEAKER_05 7:14

Well, and you called me, you're like, hey, we're gonna have two completely different opinions about this and two different reactions.

SPEAKER_02 7:21

I knew immediately though, I was like, You're gonna you're gonna feel a certain way, and I feel the opposite. So here's the deal.

SPEAKER_05 7:28

Yeah, and here's serious conversation, blah blah. We need to cover our faces, whatever else. But and avoid impulse reactions, like deleting your profile immediately. Yeah. For one, like, I mean, if they find you, don't don't fucking delete your profile. Hell, you pay for it.

SPEAKER_01 7:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 7:44

You know, don't delete it. And just take a deep breath before responding emotionally. I mean, that's very important. You know, you got to control the narrative.

SPEAKER_02 7:53

You got to be for me, I was just like, oh, oh, okay.

SPEAKER_05 7:57

Yeah. And the thing is, is, you know, we've told a lot of our vanilla friends.

SPEAKER_02 8:04

The majority of our vanilla friends know.

SPEAKER_05 8:05

Yeah, the majority of our vanilla friends know about us. And that's the thing, is like a lot of people are more understanding than what we imagine.

SPEAKER_01 8:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 8:14

Now there are those fucking people that will try to retaliate or not retaliate. They will try to fuck you over, they will try to start drama, gossip, whatever else.

SPEAKER_02 8:24

I mean, we've talked about in other podcasts where I told vanilla friends and that those friendships are are no longer there, but that's due to themselves. But at the same time, for me, it was one of those, well, then clearly you didn't see me for me. So if you're gonna let that get in between us, then we weren't really friends to begin with.

SPEAKER_05 8:46

So, and another idea for us to you know do right now is to talk about it, tell our listeners not not exactly what happened, but give them an idea. Well, I mean, we can tell them exactly what happened without saying too much detail.

SPEAKER_02 9:00

Yeah. I mean, it was it's simple. I got pulled in by my boss and was told that.

SPEAKER_05 9:09

Oh no, no, no, no. You gotta tell me the way you're you gotta tell them the way you told me. She was peeking through the blinds and everything else. Like, you gotta do it that way.

SPEAKER_02 9:20

No, I got pulled into the office and she like very quickly closed the door and closed the little blinds on the little window and the door, and then whispered to me the entire time. Which I mean, I get it because we work with a bunch of nosy people, and I mean, I don't blame her, but it was just that part I found funny because to me when I responded, I didn't whisper, I was talking like I'm talking right now.

SPEAKER_04 9:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:45

But she she continued to to whisper. But basically it got pulled in.

SPEAKER_05 9:49

Oh, and by the way, this is someone that I've found I've found attractive since like fucking day one.

SPEAKER_02 9:54

Yeah, before she even became my boss. Yeah. You liked her before I worked there.

SPEAKER_05 10:00

Yeah, I've always thought she was attractive.

SPEAKER_02 10:02

Yeah, but um and had no idea she was in this. No, I didn't either. And I don't it it wasn't a complete like I'm in it kind of thing. It was uh me and my friend, and she kind of suggested, you know, play partner. Kind of that's how I took it. Maybe not, I don't know, but that's how I took it. We're scrolling through and we came across your profile. With your position, you might want to take your your cover your faces so you're not you don't get found out.

SPEAKER_04 10:32

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But respect goes both ways.

SPEAKER_05 10:38

Yes. Right? This is a community to where we look out for each other and we respect each other and we're we're upfront and honest and truthful with each other. At least I would hope.

SPEAKER_02 10:48

And and I was told that like we were the only ones that knew just the person and I, and it was only gonna go that far.

SPEAKER_05 10:58

Well, there is someone else that knows because they're on it as well at Charles Work. But yeah, I mean, you know, and that's the thing, is like, okay, she's also said that she's known about us for over a year, and she's just now saying something. So and what I'm gonna say is like before we go into more talking points, if she wanted to be discreet, she could have easily sent an a message on SDC saying, Hey, I know who you are, I work with you, not even labeling herself as your boss, but just I work with you, and you might want to cover your face, and that's gonna pick up nicely in the episode. Her shaking her glass.

SPEAKER_02 11:39

I was mixing it, sorry, my bad.

SPEAKER_05 11:41

Yeah, but I mean, you know, that's that's yeah. But I mean, respect goes both ways. Uh lifestyle etiquette usually includes multi mutual discretion. Yeah. I mean, we both know what we're doing, we both know the risk we're taking, we both know how society feels about us. We both know the judgment that will come if we get outed to the community and everything else like that, and like local community, not not swinger community. Yeah, our community, yeah, our community that we live in. But I mean, there's always that mutual respect and mutual discretion. You know, most people in the community understand that privacy does matter.

SPEAKER_01 12:26

Not not in our community.

SPEAKER_05 12:28

Well, I'm I'm talking about in the LS community.

SPEAKER_02 12:31

Oh, the LS community. I thought you were talking about in our like local. I'm like local communities, no, they are all nosy and want to know everything.

SPEAKER_05 12:37

No, like we're talking about the LS community. Like the LS community understands that privacy does matter.

SPEAKER_02 12:42

Oh, yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_05 12:43

And what happens at clubs, what happens at meet and greets, what happens in your personal life, period. What happens in your personal life, whether it happens on STC, what it happens on SLS, stays all there. It does not go back to your work center, it does not go back to your community that you live in or anything like that.

SPEAKER_01 13:00

Right.

SPEAKER_05 13:00

I mean, lifestyle people generally protect each other's privacy. I mean, I've had multiple people say, oh, this couple had a threesome. I don't give a fuck.

SPEAKER_02 13:11

Why does it matter?

SPEAKER_05 13:12

Why does it matter? And I just go, oh, well, whatever. Cool for them. And I don't say any, and I don't go spreading it around. I don't care. But I mean, that's the thing is we like to respect each other's privacy.

SPEAKER_02 13:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 13:26

But anywho.

SPEAKER_02 13:27

I mean, I would like I mean, I would like that response from if someone was talking about us. Just be like, cool, good for them. I don't care.

SPEAKER_05 13:34

So now we're gonna talk about different scenarios of why they reached out. You know?

SPEAKER_02 13:38

I don't believe you.

SPEAKER_05 13:40

Friendly curiosity. I think that was part of it.

SPEAKER_04 13:44

And I think that that was they they're just curious about us.

SPEAKER_05 13:51

And because well, okay. So friendly curiosity, right? They're curious about us, they're curious about our experience, they're curious about hanging out with us, whatever else. That that is my take on it because you and her make sexual jokes a good bit. And she doesn't get offended. She's your boss. Okay, what boss do you know doesn't get offended when you talk about me spanking you or whatever else like that, you know?

SPEAKER_02 14:24

A cool one?

SPEAKER_05 14:25

A cool one. A rare one, a one that really doesn't fucking exist. Yeah, but I mean, and you know, just yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:37

But you say that, like, that that to me is all normal. Like, that's just how it's been since I started working there.

SPEAKER_04 14:46

I don't necessarily Yeah, but she started working there and becoming your boss when she said she saw our profile.

SPEAKER_05 14:57

So I mean, there was already that.

SPEAKER_02 14:59

Well, no, I'm saying I don't feel like the I don't think it's really curiosity on like us or like what we've done or what we do or anything like that, like you think. Okay, yeah, you're right. I think she was just she's a cool boss and she was trying to protect me.

SPEAKER_05 15:15

I think it's also the fact that we're in this lifestyle together. Me and you are in it together, her and her partner are in it together, and she knows just as well as uh we know that we typically lean on each other in the community for you know for support.

SPEAKER_01 15:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 15:36

And I'm not necessarily saying that she's interested in playing with you. Uh, don't get me wrong, if that ever happened, I would not complain one bit. But I do think that she is interested in building a connection with you, not just at work, but also within the lifestyle.

SPEAKER_01 15:51

I don't know about that.

SPEAKER_05 15:52

Because, and the only reason why I'm saying this is because she has she waited a year when she could easily just send a message. She's made sexual jokes after knowing about us. Y'all have both made sexual jokes to each other about each other after she's known. And boss aside, or co-worker aside, I and play aside, I just think that she is looking for someone that she can connect to and that she can she knows that we understand like who she is and knows that we won't judge and she's looking for that connection as a friend.

SPEAKER_00 16:45

Maybe. I don't know. I don't know. I don't ever see us. I don't want to say I don't ever see us hanging out outside of work, but I I do.

SPEAKER_02 16:58

I don't only for the simple fact of once I leave work, I want to leave work.

SPEAKER_05 17:05

Yes, but I mean that's where y'all have to be on the same page of work is work and outside's work, outside's work.

SPEAKER_01 17:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 17:14

I mean, think about some of our friends that are in medical field, they see a lot of their co-workers on there.

SPEAKER_01 17:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 17:23

And they still talk to each other outside of work. They have that separation from work and yeah, in quotation marks play, but I'm not using the word play as in playing. I'm using it as in just off work scenario.

SPEAKER_02 17:37

In the scene.

SPEAKER_05 17:38

Yeah, in the scene. But yeah. So I mean, and I just think that's that's what that was more or less about.

SPEAKER_02 17:46

I mean, there are possibilities to that. I'm not saying there's like 100% shutting it down, but I don't know. And it's mainly I would I would go more along the lines of mainly because I am like the introvert and I don't see the things that like normal extroverts see. I can have an extrovert like side to me, but mostly me is just an introvert.

SPEAKER_05 18:12

So when it comes to anything like that, it's gonna be real funny if we see her at fucking naughty. I'm going to die laughing. And then I'm gonna jump up and down. I don't think so. And I'm gonna, I'm gonna wee, I'm gonna be super ecstatic.

SPEAKER_02 18:29

No, because we're all supposed to have a work training that week, but I already had plans.

SPEAKER_05 18:34

Yeah, but you don't know if she does or not. That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_02 18:40

She scheduled it for us. I don't know.

SPEAKER_05 18:42

Okay. Yeah, but I mean, mainly thing is just stay calm and confident when someone finds out about you. And honestly, if you really want to go this route, you don't owe anyone an explanation. No. I mean, if it's someone friendly to me, uh obviously I'm gonna talk to them. If it's just a random person, I'm gonna tell them to get fucked. It's none of their business.

SPEAKER_01 19:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 19:03

But I mean, if it's someone like if it's someone that I consider a friend, um, whatever else, you know, I will talk to them and I will give them, you know, my explanation, whatever else, and and I will try to defuse a situation, which and I don't even think it's gonna reach to that point, but I mean, whatever else. And honestly, humor can diffuse awkwardness, and that's what happened as soon as she told you you made a joke about how I'm gonna react. Yeah, how excited I would be, and then and then she laughed.

SPEAKER_02 19:36

She did.

SPEAKER_05 19:37

So, I mean, and humor can diffuse awkwardness, it really, really, really can.

SPEAKER_02 19:41

Yeah, that is always me in a like an uh like an uncomfortable situation or an octor awkward situation, anything like that, just any kind of tension. I'm cracking jokes just because I don't I don't do well with like seriousness.

SPEAKER_05 19:56

Don't I mean, and a good response would be is like it looks like we both discovered something today, you know, and just ha ha ha, whatever else. I mean, that that's a great idea.

SPEAKER_02 20:07

I literally just left the office and was like, or left her office and was just like, I can't believe that just happened and immediately called you. Yeah, what the fuck?

SPEAKER_05 20:17

But it's yeah, and then you know, just y'all constantly making jokes and teasing each other and whatever else, and that's that's where I know like it will stay safe between all of us. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:27

Oh, for sure. I don't think it would ever go anywhere.

SPEAKER_05 20:32

I'm not saying that she wants to fuck you. I'm not saying that at all. I'm all I'm saying is I think that she told you the way she did because not necessarily for play connections, but emotional connections, emotional friendships, and just to where we know she knows that we can we know how she feels, and she just wants to she wants to feel that way.

SPEAKER_02 20:57

You know what I this kind of made me realize I don't really think that it was meant to be anything other than kind of hey, you should cover your face, but also I'm telling you this way so you know someone here knows and has your back.

SPEAKER_05 21:16

And that's a very that's very possible.

SPEAKER_02 21:18

And I think that's really what it boils down to because I mean we're in fucking the Bible belt of Texas.

SPEAKER_05 21:26

But the outcome the outcome was still the same. We still blurred our faces out. Yeah. So I mean, whether she did it the way she did, or whether she I mean, because there you weren't gonna like her any less if you just got a fucking text message. No, or not even a text message, but a message on SDC to where she is anonymous.

SPEAKER_02 21:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 21:44

I mean, I've never we would have never fucking guessed.

SPEAKER_02 21:48

No. No, we wouldn't have. But I've I've also never had a boss that I've 100% trusted like I do her, even before the situation. Yeah, I knew if anything was wrong or If I had any kind of issues, I knew I could always count on her to understand and be there to help support me and like help me figure out whatever the issue was.

SPEAKER_03 22:10

Yeah. And absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 22:11

I mean, and I've said this even before the situation happened. Like, I've never worked for somebody that completely understands all aspects and doesn't make you not it's she's not the type to make you feel shitty if you have to call out sick because your kids are sick or anything like that. She 100% is like, definitely stay home, get them good to go, you know, whatever. I've never had a boss like that. And even on days where she knows like I'm doubting myself and what I can do, she's always been like, girl, you got this. Like, just do it.

SPEAKER_05 22:45

Yeah, absolutely. So let's take a quick break, real quick. Uh, let's listen to a commercial on SDC. Uh, you know, get a promo code if you want a month free. Uh, and then also we're gonna listen to a promo code for um shameless care.

SPEAKER_03 23:01

All right.

SPEAKER_05 23:01

All right, we'll be right back. One more thing before we get back to the show. If you do not have an SDC, please feel free to get one using our promo code 37673. By using that code, it'll get you one month free of premium access. Seek, Discover, Connect. I honestly think that it is the best website for ethical non-monogamy or lifestyle. That code again is 37673. Now back to the show. We would like to take a minute to talk about something really important in the lifestyle: sexual health.

SPEAKER_02 23:38

Yes, communication and consent are huge parts of the lifestyle, but staying on top of your health is just as important.

SPEAKER_05 23:44

That's why we're excited to tell you about shameless care. They provide sex positive health care designed for people who want discrete, judgment-free testing and support from an actual certified physician.

SPEAKER_02 23:55

And one of the things we love about them is that they actually understand the lifestyle community. Their testing options are comprehensive, private, and designed to make it easy to stay proactive about your health.

SPEAKER_05 24:06

And let's be honest, the easier testing is, the more likely people are going to actually do it.

SPEAKER_02 24:12

Exactly. Taking care of yourself and your partners is one of the most responsible things you can do in the lifestyle.

SPEAKER_05 24:17

So if you're looking for convenient, confidential sexual health service, check out shameless care.

SPEAKER_02 24:23

Because confidence in the playroom starts with confidence in your health. And by using promo code ITP at checkout, you can get$15 off.

SPEAKER_05 24:32

And we are back. We are back. Yes. So go check out SDC. Use our promo code uh for one month free and check out shameless care. Use our promo code ITP for$15 off your order. All right. So now we we talked about our story. So now let's just give you know a couple like privacy profile tips, whatever else like that. Uh, when you're on SDC or any any dating platform, it doesn't have to be on SDC. Um, avoid using your full names.

SPEAKER_01 25:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 25:02

Uh we have our username and we just go by our initials. If we validate someone or whatever else like that, we just use our first initials. We will not use our full name.

SPEAKER_01 25:12

Right.

SPEAKER_05 25:12

And we will not we definitely won't use our fucking last name. That's stupid. But I mean, and there's probably some people out there that have their full name. Okay, cool. But I mean, for example. So that's fine.

SPEAKER_02 25:24

If that's if that's yeah, if you're in a position to where you don't have to worry about anything affecting your job, your family, anything like that, then go for it. Whatever, good for you. That's great.

SPEAKER_03 25:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:36

We, however, cannot, and that is completely okay. There is a lot of people that cannot. So if you use your initials or just nicknames or whatever you whatever, you know, it's fine.

SPEAKER_05 25:48

And you know, be thoughtful about uh your face pictures. Um, you know, I am a fan of face pictures. I I prefer looking at a profile, liking a profile with a face picture. But now that that this happened to us, I kind of understand why people put emojis over their face or blur their faces, whatever else like that. Yeah. Um, but I also have an album that people can click on to request a uh code, and then they could see our face pictures if I choose to let them.

SPEAKER_01 26:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 26:20

So that's always an option. And then just, you know, use the SDC privacy settings wisely or any any website wisely.

SPEAKER_01 26:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 26:29

Privacy settings wisely. Um you can block single men, you can block single females, you can put in there exactly what you're looking for and have those individuals be able to look at you and no one else. Um, and yeah, just again, like consider private albums for the couples that you have verified or that you have talked to, the ones that you have said, hey, you've messaged back and forth.

SPEAKER_02 26:54

Right.

SPEAKER_05 26:55

Saying, hey, you know, whatever else like that.

SPEAKER_02 26:57

Because that's always an option. It's not you don't have to have your face and everything out there just to talk to people.

SPEAKER_05 27:03

No, but I'm a sucker for a very cute smile, and I cannot see that.

SPEAKER_02 27:08

But I can say, even looking at profiles that have their faces covered, if you go to the other, like to look at the other albums, if there is an album that says face picks, I am more likely to message them than someone that just has like the naughty pictures on the profile with no face and no way to actually kind of sense what they really look like.

SPEAKER_05 27:31

Yeah. And yeah, and I get that too. But I mean, I know on um whenever I'm looking for a couple on SEC, the first thing that catches my eye is typically a smile or smile or eyes. Eyes. Eyes are a big one for me. And that's how I feel, and I feel like we're hypocrites because now we have our faces blurred or we have our faces covered with emojis. But I mean it is and it is what it is. It's just gonna have to take me a little bit of time to, you know, I guess get used to it.

SPEAKER_02 28:04

Is your face covered or is it just my face?

SPEAKER_05 28:06

Everybody's face is covered now.

SPEAKER_02 28:08

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 28:09

So I mean, because I was gonna cover yours and leave mine at that point. People thinking I'm just a fucking single person.

SPEAKER_02 28:14

I mean, when you text me saying your faces are covered or your face is covered, I would thought you just did mine and not yours.

SPEAKER_05 28:20

But well, if I did if I did just yours and not mine, if if I saw that on someone's profile, I would immediately assume that there's single men that and their wife doesn't know that they're on here.

SPEAKER_02 28:30

No, I would think it's a it's um it's a couple, but he's really married to somebody else.

SPEAKER_05 28:36

Correct. Yeah, then that's what I'm saying. So I mean, obviously I blurred both of our faces out, that makes sense, but I do also have a profile for you know, face pictures, a private profile to where people can um, you know, request uh passcode. Anyways, one thing I do want to say is be confident in your lifestyle choices. Um, shame often comes from a fear of judgment. We all we all know that.

SPEAKER_01 29:00

Oh, yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_05 29:01

Um, you know, shame is evil, we've already been down that rabbit hole, everything else like that. Uh be confident in your relationship uh helps reduce anxiety and not just your relationship, but also like what y'all agree upon. Like what what what profiles y'all agree upon, what pictures y'all agree upon, everything else like that. So, and realistically, you don't need validations from others saying, hey, you should probably cover your face picture or whatever else like that. Now, and again, like I said before, there is instances that I think that is important for you to be able to do that, whether it's protecting your family, protecting your career, everything else like that.

SPEAKER_01 29:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 29:36

But I mean, if you don't have to do that, if we don't, if we didn't have to do that, we wouldn't do it.

SPEAKER_02 29:41

Right.

SPEAKER_05 29:42

You know, I mean we didn't until Yeah, we we didn't have our I think we didn't have face covers or it was our actual faces for fucking years. And now we're having to cover 'em. But and I understand this.

SPEAKER_02 29:56

We started with our faces covered, but that didn't last long, and we uncovered them, and they've been been uncovered ever since.

SPEAKER_05 30:02

But yeah.

SPEAKER_02 30:04

You know.

SPEAKER_05 30:05

Alright. So now when it turns into a positive connection, right? Sometimes finding someone you know uh creates a stronger friendship, creates a stronger bond. It really does. Because at that point, you know that you can trust them. Yeah. You can trust them to be your full self. And I'm gonna say majority will not judge.

SPEAKER_01 30:30

Right.

SPEAKER_05 30:31

You know, we've all we're we're I'm yeah, the majority will not judge. I mean, there is gonna be those select few that are just in it for a very short period of time. You may think that they won't judge, and then they realize it's not for them.

SPEAKER_02 30:47

And then once they decide they're out, then all they're gonna do is everybody they met while they were in it, they're gonna judge them hardcore. Been there.

SPEAKER_05 30:54

Well, and not just that, just also like ex try to exposing them. And you know, and honestly, this opens support conversations for you know, in the event there's a hiccup in the lifestyle, whether there's a bad play setting, uh, whether there's uh oopsie daisy with a test or something like that, you could typically lean on those individuals for support.

SPEAKER_01 31:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 31:21

And honestly, it it helps normalize E and M.

SPEAKER_02 31:26

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_05 31:27

You know, when you become their person that they can count on, or they they know they can count on you, it's gonna help normalize EM. And it's going to help build that stronger friendship, and it's gonna help them and you talk about tougher conversations that you may not have ever talked about.

SPEAKER_01 31:48

That's true.

SPEAKER_05 31:49

And it and it may help when it comes to work. You know now if she's gonna come to you saying that she found our profile, you know that you can come to her about anything.

SPEAKER_02 32:00

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_05 32:02

I mean, you said that you felt that before, but now now there's no doubt, there's no doubting it. Well, and the possibilities of the conversation have completely fucking grown. Like the possibilities of the types of conversation have just exploded.

SPEAKER_02 32:18

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_05 32:19

Like now you can be your fucking true self and not feel judged. Yeah, you know?

SPEAKER_02 32:24

For sure. I mean, she already sees my goofiness all the time, so yeah.

SPEAKER_05 32:30

Now, and what I'm gonna say now, we talked about the positives that it can create. Now let's talk about the red flags it can create. And this is typically goes off of base when someone doesn't tell you or if someone sees your profile, but they're just uh being a fucking pissy Pamela and they're wanting to spread hurt, right? Threatening exposure. If they're threatening to expose you, just fuck them. You know, in that in that case, control the narrative definitely control the narrative and just say, fuck you. This ain't none of your business. Individuals that use screenshot uh screenshots, you know, when it comes to SDC, if they're and we typically talk to couples on SDC or not SDC, uh Snapchat.

SPEAKER_03 33:20

Yes.

SPEAKER_05 33:21

Sorry. We've said SDC a lot this episode. Uh but we talk to a lot of couples on Snapchat. In the event that happens and I see couples constantly screenshotting, you can save the fucking picture in the chat. If you save the picture in the chat and you then save it to your camera roll, it'll tell me.

SPEAKER_02 33:42

It tells me, yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_05 33:44

If you screenshot it, it will tell me. If you just save it in the fucking chat, okay, cool. I know you're not gonna try to send it some to send it to somebody.

SPEAKER_01 33:54

Right.

SPEAKER_05 33:55

But if you're screenshotting it, there's a reason for you screenshotting it.

SPEAKER_02 33:59

Oh, 100%. And I we will typically I especially when it comes to Snapchat. I will immediately report them. Well, yes, but especially when it comes to Snapchat though, I don't ever send like a visible, like easily easily like identifiable like face pick.

SPEAKER_05 34:18

Well, we do with the couples that we know personally.

SPEAKER_02 34:20

When we know them personally, yes, but when we're just starting out, I don't simply because I kind of am trying to see if they're the type to say pictures in the chat or screenshot or save to their camera role because there are people that do that.

SPEAKER_05 34:35

Yeah. And another thing is like individuals that will try to shame you. Like, how can you be on this? Whatever else. Like, how could you do this? Fuck you. This is that's not lifestyle behavior, that is toxic behavior that we don't want any part of. Period. If someone comes at me on if someone comes at me about our SDC because someone told them about it, or if they found it and then they realize it's not for them, I don't want anything to do with you. Especially if you're coming to me in that type of way. If you're gonna come to me in that type of way, of how could you do this, you know, you're going to hell or you're cheating on your wife.

SPEAKER_02 35:15

How'd you know about it to begin with?

SPEAKER_05 35:17

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 35:17

You're no better than me because you considered it for a little bit. You tried. You didn't like it.

SPEAKER_05 35:21

You failed. You tried and failed miserably.

SPEAKER_02 35:24

You tried, you tried, you failed, you didn't like it, whatever the case may be, but you were still in it at one point, so you have no right to judge anyone else.

SPEAKER_05 35:34

And uh no one has any right to judge anyone, period.

SPEAKER_02 35:37

But but for that, that's not that's not you were there for the same reason.

SPEAKER_05 35:41

Yeah, that's not lifestyle behavior. That is just fucking toxic ass behavior that I don't want any part of, period. You know, healthy EM, you know, communities value discretion and consent, like we said earlier, that we really do. We know that we are a community of one and we're a community about respect, love, and honesty.

SPEAKER_02 36:00

100%. And if you can't if you can't trust that or acknowledge that, and if even if you decide you it's not for you anymore, you don't have to go blasting people. You don't have to go judging people. You can just be like, that's great for y'all, we're not in it, we don't do it, whatever else. We decided it wasn't for us, no hard feelings.

SPEAKER_05 36:25

Yeah. And the thing is, is like if someone finds your profile, they probably weren't on that website looking for fucking furniture or clothes to buy.

SPEAKER_02 36:34

No.

SPEAKER_05 36:34

They were looking for it for a reason. These these sites are very, very noticeable.

SPEAKER_02 36:40

Like, well, yeah, but they're not they're not something you're just gonna stumble upon while trying to shop or find the normal mundane thing.

SPEAKER_05 36:48

Yeah, there is no SDC thumbnails or SLS clickbaits or Cassidy ads or anything else like that. To know about these websites, you either a you've been told about it by someone in a lifestyle or you've Googled it.

SPEAKER_02 37:04

Or you're watching the porn off of freaking X.

SPEAKER_05 37:08

Well, I mean, typically the porn off of X has nothing to do with SDC or any lifestyle websites. Those, but I mean, for you to look at some other websites, but but yeah, I mean, you know, the lifestyle feels secretive at first, it really does. And that's the thing, is like when we first got in it, we're like, oh my god, the the taboo, the secrecy, right? Yeah, and honestly, that was a huge turn on for us.

SPEAKER_02 37:33

Oh, for sure.

SPEAKER_05 37:34

But you know, it you quickly realize that there are more open-minded people around you than what you would ever fucking think. And there are more people in this than what people know, what people think.

SPEAKER_02 37:47

Oh yeah. There are any Joe Blow out there could be at work right now with somebody that is in the lifestyle and have no earthly idea, but think they know all like know them well enough to know oh, they wouldn't do that kind of thing. But guess what? You don't know everything.

SPEAKER_05 38:04

Correct, absolutely. I don't know. I mean, you know, these were our talking points um for well, that was awkward. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:16

Um I mean, I you entitled this episode that because I immediately was like, that was fucking awkward.

SPEAKER_05 38:24

But I mean, you know, the thing is, is like, you know, our listeners have heard my take on it, they've also heard your take on it. I would love for our listeners to go to email us and say who was right. Or what you think or yeah, or what you think. Um, I'm not necessarily thinking I'm right, and I I think that there's a mixture between both, between both of our theories, theories. I think there's a mixture between both of them. That's also why I came up with a theory of maybe she's not wanting to play, but maybe she's just wanting to connect with you as another like-minded individual. Well, and when you said that, that's when I started thinking maybe she just wanted for me to know that like maybe she doesn't have someone that she can talk about this with. Maybe she doesn't have someone that she can say, Oh, we're gonna go to Naughty, or oh, these are my outfits for Naughty. What do you think about these?

SPEAKER_01 39:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 39:21

And maybe she's looking for that. Not I'm not said necessarily saying she wants to play, I'm just saying maybe she wants someone that she can talk to about lifestyle things.

SPEAKER_02 39:30

Yeah, maybe. I don't know.

SPEAKER_05 39:32

We'll have to see where the future where where your closed mouth is gonna go, because I know you are not gonna talk to her anymore about this. But anyway.

SPEAKER_02 39:43

Probably not.

SPEAKER_05 39:43

Yeah, oh, I know you're not. I know you're not. It's gonna have to take for for you to believe it, if if this is the case, for you to believe it, it would have to be if we were at a club and they happened to fucking be there, and even then you would not go up and say hello. You would need her to come up to say hello to you.

SPEAKER_02 40:07

No, if I saw them, no fucking way. No, because if if I saw them, yeah, if I saw them out. Well, first it'd probably depend on what I was wearing or how much of what I was wearing.

SPEAKER_05 40:20

Okay, we are at a swingers club. That's off the fucking card.

SPEAKER_02 40:26

I'm not walking up to them with my tits out and shit. My nipples at least gotta be covered somewhat.

SPEAKER_05 40:33

Okay, I know exactly what would happen. If you go run and hide in the bathroom, if you saw them, you would immediately go, we gotta go.

SPEAKER_02 40:42

We need to leave.

SPEAKER_05 40:43

We need to leave. That's immediately the only way you would believe it is if they came up and they said hello to you and I, and then you'd be like, Oh, hi, hi, and just all awkward, and then you would probably say something like I like turtles or something to that fucking but the funny part is is they know that and you know that, and probably both would expect that to happen.

SPEAKER_02 41:13

Oh, absolutely.

SPEAKER_05 41:14

Oh, absolutely, they would.

SPEAKER_02 41:16

I'm just known as the awkward one, okay.

SPEAKER_05 41:18

Yeah, yeah. Well, now you're known as the freaky awkward one. To her. To her. But, anyways, yeah, this has been our episode on Well, that was awkward, and you know, we said a little bit of story and or told our story that recently just happened, and yeah, you know, uh we gave a little bit of tips and tricks on you know, profile safety, profile privacy, um, how to handle it, everything else like that. And you know, the main thing is just stay cool, calm, collective, and just know like this lifestyle is not about judgment. This lifestyle is not about who has better anything, it's about just accepting each other and enjoying each other's company and being there for one another.

SPEAKER_02 42:03

Yeah, but I also would want to add to that though, and just say don't overthink it and don't overreact. Like in that moment, don't Oh, you're telling them that? Don't yes, don't overreact. And I mean you can respectfully respond in the moment, but don't say anything or act all kind of crazy or whatever else. Do what I mean, I don't I'm not saying I did it the right way, but like for me, I am one of those that has to analyze and think it through after before I know how I if I responded okay or if I should have done something differently.

SPEAKER_03 42:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 42:44

Um but don't don't get defensive and start like putting up a fence. Yeah, like don't don't go in it that way.

SPEAKER_02 42:57

I mean if you're getting up a wall. If you're getting especially if they're doing it in a nice way and not being mean, not in a like calling you out kind of way, but just in a hey, I know this. I know this.

SPEAKER_05 43:08

Don't well, it's not even just I know this, it's I know this because I have one too.

SPEAKER_02 43:14

Yes.

SPEAKER_05 43:15

Um at that point, you know, don't put up a wall. Don't don't hide in your shell or anything else like that, you know.

SPEAKER_02 43:23

I mean, I hid it in my shell, but I mean I still joked about it though, because that's my my I don't I can't respond seriously in the moment. I always have to joke and then later on I'm like, dude, you're stupid. But that's just me. Only because I when it comes to any kind of serious conversation like being thrown at me without being able to think about it my immediate process is to joke because I don't really know how to respond. Especially if I'm caught off guard. So I'm going to joke about it.

SPEAKER_05 44:00

I think if it's with that the boss coworker scenario and if they do want to chat, um, be smart about it.

SPEAKER_01 44:08

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_05 44:08

Do it over Snapchat.

SPEAKER_01 44:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 44:12

I mean it only saves it for twenty four hours unless you physically save them. But I mean do it over Snapchat. Yeah, or yeah, Facebook Messenger, you can do the twenty-four hour disappearing messages, whatever else like that. The only thing with Facebook Messenger doesn't tell you when they screenshotted it.

SPEAKER_03 44:28

Right.

SPEAKER_05 44:28

But I mean just do it somewhere to where, you know, there is no evidence of that and whatever else like that, because I'm a firm believer that people can separate work from outside of work.

SPEAKER_01 44:39

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_05 44:39

I am a huge advocate for that. Um, but I mean, and I've had plenty of co-workers that I managed that end up becoming some of my best friends. And we just have to set those boundaries of hey, this is work.

SPEAKER_02 44:54

Work is work.

SPEAKER_05 44:55

You know, whenever I'm work, I'm I'm the boss, you know. But when I'm when I'm when we're out here, when we're on my boat, you can call me dipshit, you can call me you could joke with me, whatever. Like work does not go home with me. Right. Fucking period.

SPEAKER_02 45:10

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_05 45:11

Like, work does not go on the boat with me while we're fishing, work does not go with me while we're hunting, work does not go with me while we're barbecuing or anything else like that. Period.

SPEAKER_01 45:19

Right.

SPEAKER_05 45:20

But anywho, all right. Well, that was our episode. Um again, check out SDC. Use our promo code 37673 uh for a month off and use promo code ITP or$15 off shameless care. And I do want to say this about shameless care real quick. It's not just um STI, STD treatment, or testing, there's a lot of medicine or anything like that. Uh, you can also get ED uh Rousal Cream for females.

SPEAKER_02 45:49

Um there is so much on there.

SPEAKER_05 45:52

There's so much on there. So please, please, please, just go give shamelesscare.com a look and read some of their articles because what you may be taking, what you may be ordering from hymns or whatever else like that may not be what you think it is. So and they have articles on on all about that. So go go through their articles, go through their abouts, and figure out exactly what you know about the company. And you know, I fully have trust in them that that they're doing this for the right reasons, they're not doing this. I mean, hell, they have fully certified board members that will call you with your results, results, or your prescription recommendations, and they'll talk to you about it and whatever else like that. So please go give them a look and again use code ITP for$15 off your order.

SPEAKER_02 46:44

Definitely.

SPEAKER_05 46:44

All right, y'all. On that note, stay safe, stay sexy, stay weird.

SPEAKER_02 46:48

And keep swinging those pineapples.

SPEAKER_05 46:50

Bye y'all.

SPEAKER_02 46:50

Bye y'all. Thank you for tuning in to In the Playroom Podcast. If you've enjoyed this episode, please make sure to give it a five-star rating from wherever you are listening. Don't forget to also follow us on Instagram and STC. If you have any questions, comments, or feedback, please feel free to reach out and email us at in the playroom podcast at gmail.com and let us know what's on your mind. We might just feature it in our next episode. Stay sexy, stay weird, and stay safe and keep swinging those pineapples.