Episode 16: What Makes Us Want to Meet a Couple Again.

In the lifestyle, we spend a lot of time talking about red flags and warning signs—but what about the qualities that make a couple truly stand out for all the right reasons? In this episode, we dive into the green flags that make them excited to connect with a couple again and again. From strong communication and genuine confidence to respecting boundaries, practicing consent, and simply being kind to everyone they meet, we discuss the traits that leave a lasting impression long after the event. We also share real-life examples from their 13+ years in the lifestyle and explain why the most memorable couples aren't always the most attractive—they're the ones who make others feel comfortable, respected, and valued. Whether you're brand new to the lifestyle or a seasoned swinger looking to build better connections, this episode offers practical insights into becoming the kind of couple people can't wait to see again. Because at the end of the day, attraction might spark a connection—but character is what keeps it going. 

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Transcript

0:09

Welcome to In the Playroom, the podcast where the doors are open, the lights are low, and nothing is off limits. We're your hosts, Jason and Stephanie. Each week, we're bringing you honest, unfiltered conversations from our personal journeys to the swinging lifestyle. Just a heads up, we are not professionals, therapists, or lifestyle experts. What we share here is based on our own real experiences. The good, the awkward, and the absolutely unforgettable. Whether you're curious, already exploring, or just love hearing what goes down behind closed doors, you've got a place right here with us. So kick off your shoes, pour a drink, and step into the playroom. Welcome or welcome back to In the Playroom Podcast. I am Jason. And I am Stephanie. And she tried on her outfit, y'all. I did. I'm so proud of her. Outfits. Outfits, yeah. Um, yeah, we were here, and I was like, hey, go try on your outfit. And you're like, I will. And then I decided to order new ones, and then I've tried all of them on as they've come in. Yes, but I had to tell you multiple times to try on your outfit. Well, okay, so the first, so okay, let's talk about this. The first set, I was like, hey, go try on your outfit. Go try on your outfit. Go try on your outfits. I reminded her probably five times in a day to go try on her outfits. She tried one on and she was like, Nope, just gonna order whole new ones. So Well, because whenever I the first time I went through and ordered when we first bought the tickets, um based off of the theme, I didn't really go super hardcore related to the theme. I did like color coordinated with the theme and not like full-on theme. Yeah. And then you got your shit in, and I was like, you're like on point with the theme. Yeah, no, not really. Um, I am with one of them or two of them. Uh the looking through the glass is through the looking glass? Yeah, through the looking glass. Um, or looking through the glass. I fuck, I don't know. You say it the wrong way every time. Okay, the fucking Alice and Waterland one. Yeah. Um, I just decided just to go with a polo that has cards on it or something. And like, it's gonna be too fucking hot to wear the sexy Alice. Yeah, like it's gonna be too fucking hot to wear like long sleeve jackets and everything else like that. Yeah. Like I'm already gonna be miserable during um the bordello night uh because that's long sleeve and slacks and whatever else. After that, fuck, I'm wearing shorts and a polo or something, slacks and a polo or something. Not going all out on outfits because it's gonna be too fucking hot. And I really just don't feel like sweating my balls off so much. So I'm I'm gonna the ladies there aren't gonna want your your shit sweaty. Correct. And you know, well, it's also what's a concern of mine is the weather too. Um, with it being New Orleans and how it could potentially fucking come a flood in a moment's notice. I really don't want to be outside and getting long sleeves or a jacket wet, and it's just gonna fester. It's like it's it's gonna be like it's gonna you. Yeah, I mean very easy. You never know what the weather's gonna be. We could look at it today, but that's still a month and a half away. Yeah. I mean so we never know. Yeah. But I'm planning on it, you know, and for like the day trips or day themes. Uh I mean, I got my Bobby Boucher. Uh I don't have anything for the themes, and I guess. Yeah, you do. So it is sports theme. Okay, so I have funny t-shirt theme. I don't have a funny shirt. Uh think you uh well, I mean, we could get you one. And then then it's pineapple theme. And then you have and then it's band t-shirt theme. So yeah, we're covered on all those. Oh, yeah. Okay. And I think you have I think you still have the uh Drew Breeze jersey. I said that. When you said sports, I said, Oh, I got my Drew Brees, that's right. Yeah, and I'm gonna be rocking the Bobby Boucher. That's fine. You do that. You know, the bourbon bowl, right? You do, you boo. Mama said, Okay, anyway. But I'm finally gonna get to wear my breeze jersey in New Orleans. Yeah, well, okay. Cool. I he doesn't even play for him anymore, but like Yay sports. That's that's me. Yay sports. Shut up. Also, um, if you hear a little bit of background noise, uh, it is a hundred degrees in West Texas, and we have our AC unit on in our uh studio on turbo mode. And it is like super, super hot. So if you hear a little bit of background noise, it's just our uh AC unit. And then also if you hear a little bit of heavy breathing, it's not us. It's not us, I promise you. It's it's our dog. Um, it's my lab. Uh yeah, anytime I'm home, he has to be right beside me. He doesn't leave my side, and it's too hot to kick him out. So he's cooling off in the AC. With us. With us, and instead of the house with the other dogs, because I don't want to tear up anything or whatever else. So, anywho's, let's get on to the show. Yes. All right. Uh, so a few weeks back, we actually talked about red flags and what to look for, exactly you know, when it comes to going to clubs, uh, when it comes to hotel takeovers, groups, whatever else like that, couples in general. Uh so what I want to talk about is green flags and what we look for that makes us want to meet a couple again, right? Makes us want to see them. Yeah. So, and a lot of people typically go, oh, well, they gotta be hot. Spoiler, that's not always the case. Yeah, no, it's more than just attraction. It's not always the looks, but it's it's more about their personality. Like, for one, are they kind to people? Are they kind to everybody? Yes. Are they in a group chat? Are you in a group chat with them? Are they trying to start drama with another couple? Are they talking shit about another couple? Right? Or are they treating them fairly? Like, and it's not just people in the group chats too, or anything like that. I mean, it can even just be meeting somebody, like meeting another couple at a bar. Yeah. And just how they treat inter and interact with other people. Yeah, how they how they treat the servers, how they treat the hostess, the staff, whatever else. Or even just people passing by. Yeah, exactly. I mean, if if if they're like if we're out to dinner with a couple and they start bickering with, you know, bickering with a waitress or waiter. Each other, the waiter, some of that walks by and accidentally bumps into them, something like that. What anything. Yeah, that's that shit's not needed. Um, I mean, if they start bickering with them or arguing with them, obviously that's gonna tell me that they're gonna be they only want what they want, and they're not like they they don't care about anything else, right? Right. In my opinion. So, I mean, if they're talking to the servers nicely, if they're talking to the bartenders nicely, the staff, the people, us, and they're being respectful, you know, that that speaks volumes on them. Well, that makes a huge difference. I mean, the way you treat people, I mean, even just going off of our conversations, it's it's more than that. Like, yeah, we have our conversations and we know we can conversate well and easily together. Yeah. But how can like how do you treat everyone as a whole? And that makes a big difference in whether or not I would want to see somebody again. And and again, like this lifestyle is about acceptance, it's about love, it's about communication, it's about respect. And it's not just all those within the lifestyle, it's with everybody in the world. Oh, no, that's what I'm saying. It's like it's everybody. And what I also want to talk about is like being welcoming to new couples. Um when a couple comes into a group chat or whatever else like that, how do they act towards them? Do they not greet them? Do they not say anything to them, or do they go, hey, welcome, y'all? You know, this is who we are. Yeah, we would love to all hang out together, you know, we do meet and greets on this day, we can't wait to see you. And just like an enthusiastic like response to their intro is to me is a huge turn on because again, they're all about the acceptance, they're all about the welcoming of people. Yeah. Well, when you say that, it makes me think there's been numerous times where we've been in group chats that um everybody like when a new couple enters, everybody does the like, hey, blah, blah, blah, blah, welcome, you know, yada yada yada. But then there are still the people that don't even say welcome, like just a simple welcome to the group. Yeah. Or they or immediately just start liking their photos or just commenting on their photos, oh, I would love to do this shit to you, whatever else, like that. To me, that that's a no-go. Yeah. But I mean, you know, and you can be friendly without expecting anything. And that's that's a huge turn on for me. Like if they're and well, not not just necessarily a turn-on, but just w makes me want to see them again, makes me want to get to know them even better. Because if they can understand that dinner is dinner, yeah, and you know, or a meet and greet is a meet and greet, and not expect to play, like that's hell yeah, that's awesome to me. Like, that's like we talked about in our last episode with that couple that's wanted to catch up, asked them out for dinner, and immediately they said, We're not interested in playing. That's not what the fuck I asked you. Yeah. So I mean we were wanting dinner and catch up. Correct. So I mean, it is awesome when a couple can be friendly to other couples without expecting anything because at the end of the day, the circle is very, very small. Mm-hmm. You're and especially if you don't have like if you're not in a big city, chances that you see them again at a local meet and greet, a local house party or whatever else like that is extremely high. So why not just be kind to each other? And you don't have to want to play with each other to be nice. But that's the thing, is like when someone is that way, like when someone is friendly without expecting it, that just again that makes me want to get to know them. Get to know them better. I mean, get to know them better. You know, the thing is, is we notice how people treat each other when they don't even think that we're watching. And when they think nobody's paying attention. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you know, people see shit. And the thing is attitudes are contagious. Attitudes are very contagious. So when someone is being polite, that's gonna make me want to be polite. When someone's being silly, goofy in a chat and you know, welcoming new couples, even if it's in a silly, goofy way, that makes me want to do it too. Yeah. You know, and attitudes are contagious. That's what I'm gonna say. But also another thing is man, when they respect your boundaries immediately, like there is no convincing. There's no trying to change it, there's no negotiating, and there's no guilt trips. There's none of this in the event y'all play. Man, I really wish I could have, you know, done whatever, knowing that that's a that's a boundary of ours. Yeah. Okay, now you're trying to guilt guilt trip me, dude. Don't do that. Yeah. But the ones that that respect it, the ones that will go with the flow, and the ones that will that they don't try to convince you to do something, the the ones that are just very, very, very respectful. And you don't have to be like over the top with it. No, just but just accept it. But just making it yeah, just accepting it and just not pushing it makes a big difference. Because we've we've had it both. We've we've seen all sides of that where people are pushy, where people want to like, no, you said that was your boundary, but we're gonna change it tonight. Yeah. No, we're not. Well, and it's also like, you know, taking the no thank you great uh gracefully, like those individuals. Those, all right, cool, you know, no, no problem. Um hope y'all have a great rest of your night. Yeah. Um, if y'all decide to change y'all's mind, please let us know. No, yeah. Uh those right there, those are those are big green flags. Big green flags. And then respecting even soft boundaries. Like, I mean, respecting the boundaries of like if someone is, let's say, new to the lifestyle, right? New to the experience. I would say don't try to put them in a place where it would even be uncomfortable for me and you to do after 13 years of being in it. Right. You know, start out small, you know. I mean, obviously if they're completely okay with it, they're completely okay with it. And that's great. And don't ever try to answer for somebody either. That's another one that I feel like is when that boundary range, because when it comes to whatever your dynamic is with you and your partner, that's cool. But in a play setting, no one should be answering for anyone but the person being asked the question. Yeah. Now I will say, you know, I do think it is very respectful when a couple comes up to you, they show interest in you, um, or us, let's say both of us, and then immediately they ask you. Which, you know, this is a woman's world. We all know this. The the lifestyle is a fucking woman's world. Y'all rule it. Which makes sense. But what I also love is whenever they ask you, but they're also asking me too. And typically what is what is a big green flag is hey, we want to talk to y'all about something. Yeah. How would y'all feel about this? Now, the ones that just go to you, hey, can I fuck you? You know, whatever else. Well, first of all, I'm gonna tell I'm gonna go kick rocks because that's not how this is. We play. Yeah, that's that's not our dynamic. No. Um, but I mean, when they say, hey, we we would like to talk to y'all about something, we want to bring something up to y'all. The y'all portion is very big. When it makes us one and not two people. Like it you can you can ask me, sure, but you're not really getting the full answer until it's asked to both of us. So when you come at us as a y'all and including us together as a team, yeah, that does more for couples than most people realize, just because this is us doing it together. So being in it together and then being asked questions as if the two of us together are one, yeah, makes the whole process so much smoother. And you know, it's also like again, like not changing someone's mind. Not going, you sure you don't want this, not trying to change someone's mind. Oh, you've never experienced this. Oh, you're nervous. Oh, well, let me tell you about why you shouldn't be nervous. Okay, dude, that is for a conversation that's that's is for a different time. Yeah. And there's better ways to go about it than potentially in the middle of a play setting or in front of people. Yeah. Um, you know, that that's my opinion. Now the ones that go that respect our boundaries, they go cool, that's it. You know, the sexiest response to a boundary is absolutely we respect that. You know. I also like the ones that we'll even add in there, like if it's something that they're not used to in their dynamic, they'll they'll be like they they accept it, but then they also are like, if I cross any boundaries, just please let me know. Yeah. And then because they they acknowledge that those are my boundaries, even though they're not theirs. And if they cross it, it's not really intentional just to mention it to them so they can correct it. Yeah. And that makes a big difference. And that makes that is like a bright green flag to me, just because when it in a lifestyle like this, where everyone's boundaries and rules and whatever they go by is different from one person to the next. If you just come at it like that and be like, all right, I accept that. And if I step on any toes or go too far, just let me know, because I don't mean it intentionally. Yeah. We do more than that, so that's what I'm used to. So if I'll try to rein it in, but if I if something slips, let me know. And that's the way to do it. Yeah. Uh so for my next one, and this is a huge, huge one for me. When they seem genuinely happy together. Oh, yes. When they're when they're laughing, when they're joking, that that's chemistry. That's you know that they're secure. But also it like seeing them, like seeing other couples together. Yeah. Just the way they interact with each other and is like how that when they act with when they are interacting with other people's, like we said in the beginning. The way they act together to each other is just as important as how they act with everyone else. Oh, yeah. If not even more important, because whenever they're doing it, when it's just the two of them and you see the interactions between them, you can almost get a sense of whether or not they're A, gonna respect our boundaries, B respect me as a female and not try to push. Because if I see him treating her like any sort of way, then that's that tells me like he's not gonna respect anything I say, so I'm gonna step back. But or it could do the exact opposite and be like, I trust him. Like, I feel like we as a couple can trust him with me to not try to push any boundaries or do anything that he shouldn't, and I feel safe to enjoy the moment. Yeah. And you feel safe to enjoy the moment and continue the whole thing, yeah. Because of the way they enter, but just the sense of how they treat each other helps us realize how they're gonna treat us. And it's also withn, when they check in with each other during parties, you know, like we we've been to so many parties with other couples, and I've noticed, like, hey, are you okay? You know, they'll whisper, like, are you good? Or we we'll host here. And, you know, they'll, hey, we're gonna pause real quick, we're gonna take out, we're gonna go outside, have a little talk real quick, and then we'll come back in, you know, whatever else. To me, that is great. To me, that is a turn on because they're communicating. Yeah, they're discussing exactly on what they're wanting and what their boundaries are gonna be, and everything else like that. And they're talking about potentially doing that with us. Well, and I also don't want anyone to ever feel like telling somebody that they need to take a moment to talk to each other is bad, is a bad thing. No, don't no one's ever going to think that is rude or disrespectful. Most people are going to see that is y'all are checking in with each other to make sure that y'all are good with anything that has happened so far, and then move on to what we expect from the rest of the evening. Yeah, absolutely. And you know, there there is some people that I'm gonna say like the ones that I'm just like get the fuck away, or the ones that make the passive aggressive comments, or the ones that ghost light them or gaslight them, whatever else like that, they'll make those backhanded comments, oh, you'd look so cute with your hair done like this, or oh, you'd look so cute if you lost five pounds, or what okay, dude, go get fucked, you know, or okay, homegirl, go get fucked, right? Yeah. Now I typically drag you around everywhere, but that's because you're shy and you you we we've come to an agreement that you want me to. Yes. Because if I don't do that, you're gonna awkwardly be sitting in the corner, and no one really wants to talk to what seems like a single guy. You know, I mean, obviously, I would say that hey, you know, I'm a couple, my wife's over there, but you're gonna be over there just they're gonna look at me like why the fuck isn't she with you? Twiddle of my thumbs. So dragging one partner around is not necessarily a bad thing, depending on the dynamic. Yeah. Like if there's a shyness to it and like that, okay. But if you can see that the other person is not interested or doesn't want to be there, that's different. Yeah. But like with us, it's not necessarily but I honestly I wouldn't put us in that category of dragging people around. I follow. You just lead the way. You don't drag me around. Okay. I willingly go. Well, there we go. Another one is that they have good communication. Um, they have, you know, when we talk to them, if they say, Yeah, we have our code signs, whatever else like that, to let it let each other know that uh how the night's going. We're not feeling this, or we're not feeling this, or this is good, or whatever else like that, you know, hey, that that to me that that is a huge that is a huge green flag because again, I know during like when we host, during that time that we're hosting, they're always going to be communicating. They know that there's they know their social cues whenever hey time's up or hey, she wants it like this, he wants it like that, whatever else like that. And just be able to communicate with each other. And it it's important. And it's so fucking hot to me when I see couples communicating. I don't know why. I'm weird like that, right? But like it is so hot whenever you have that. Because they're communicating and you know that if they're communicating at that point, then they're communicating and we're good to go. No, and what I will say is like when you like it is hot to answer questions clearly and honestly, right? Um, but and it is a good thing, but don't be an asshole about it, right? Like if you you know, there there is a way respectfully. Yeah, there is a way to answer respectfully, whatever else like that. And whenever they communicate clearly on exactly what they want, there is no blurred lines. There is no trying to read between the lines. Nope. It is black and white exactly This is what's happening. This is not just what's happening, but this is what they're doing. No, I mean this is what I want. This is what they would like to experience. And to me, that is they know what the fuck they want. There is no, yeah, maybe I don't, we'll see how the night goes. Yeah, I say that all the time. Yeah, but I mean, it but when it comes to meeting a couple, like, you know, I'll tell you, like, hey, you excited for tonight? Yeah, yeah, maybe, you know, or yeah, and that's all I get from you. But in the event we meet a couple, and I I'll ask you, like, hey, would you want to try to potentially have a play setting with them? If you're not feeling it, you tell me I'm not feeling it. Yeah. But if you tell me, but if you're excited about it, you give me an enthusiastic yes. Oh, yeah, absolutely. You know, yeah. Okay, cool. Now what are you now what are you wanting during this play setting? And typically you go, the only thing you're about about is when it comes to female and female play. And that's because, you know, you are more or less bi-selective. You gotta be in the right moment. On a situational basis, because I I yeah, I have to be in the right headspace. I have to the vibe has to like the stars have to align because I I have to be wanting it, feeling it, the vibe feeling right. It's not just one of those things that I'm gonna do every time we play. Yeah. They're it's situational. Well, I mean, it's it's like that couple that that we've been hanging out recently with, right? Um, you know, we kind of told them that you know, the bisectional, by situational thing with you. And they immediately, absolutely cool, awesome. Now we we've known that they've wanted that from you for a while, but they never pushed it. They never once tried to change our minds, they never once tried to um or set or anything. Yeah. Um but the last time we hung out, it fucking happened. And because it was more situational, you realize that you could trust both of them, and that was sexy to you. You find them both very attractive, and then it it naturally happened. Like it wasn't like it was forced or it was it's and it wasn't like it was expected. No, they didn't expect it. They they knew we couldn't. Well then we had been talking about it, but it wasn't like anyone was like, all right, it's time to hold up your end of the deal. Yeah, no, there was none of that, and it was so fucking natural. And we had the best time. Yeah. I mean, it was a phenomenal time. And I agree, you know, I will say I think that she's a little down because she didn't get to play with you. You were more or less just on her. Okay. Now we're getting off topic. Yeah, oh fucking stingy over here. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. It wasn't even stingy. Also, what I'm gonna say is, and this will be our last one before we go to break, is don't oversell yourself. When they don't oversell themselves, when they're being boastful and like look at me like not just that. When we plan to meet, and holy fuck, who I'm actually meeting is who is in the picture is nice. That is a green flag. The ones that have 10, 12-year-old pictures on their fucking profile that they don't look nothing like they did before, that's not okay. But the ones that literally put in your profile, these pictures are from the state. Yeah, but also but also like not even just that. When I think of like when you when you first originally were talking to me about what we were talking about today, and you said about overselling themselves, my immediate thought was the egotistical, boastful, like I'm the best at everything type of person. Because to me, every club we've been to, there's been at least one of those. Yeah. But typically they always have a fucking miserable time because the ones that are over boasting, the ones that are overselling themselves, no, that's what I'm saying. Those are the red flags. The ones that don't do that are the green flags. Oh, absolutely. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, that's literally okay, yeah. That's what I said. That's what I was getting at. Okay, but I think the honest profile pictures, all I said was have a fucking date in your bio on when the pictures were taken. Because think about it like this, Steph. You know, we we've both gone through more or less a body transformation, right? So our pictures are now updated, but what if I didn't update them? What if I just updated our weights, right? People would expect to see the old us based off of our profile pictures. Now, is that fair to them? Because maybe they're not looking for us now. Maybe they were looking for more or less what we were. Right. So it's not fair. So it is, and it brings me back to when we were talking to a couple, we filters were used, old pictures were used, we did not get live videos, we did not get live pictures. We invited them over. Yeah. That was a train race. And it was who the fuck are you? Mm-hmm. So the ones that I'm seeing, if I go out to dinner and we're waiting on them, and holy shit, I can tell exactly who that is, that's awesome. And just, you know. It's always a plus. Also with like authentic conversations, you know, when you try to oversell what you do or what all you know or everything, when you're a fucking Mario, when you one up, that's that's that's irritating. That also kind of falls on the same lines of trying to force conversation. Correct. But what I will say is like it's not but the ones that can actually have like authentic conversations and not completely try to one up each other, oh, that's pretty cool that you do that, you know, or whatever else like, and I do that, and whatever, but the ones that can actually have like authentic conversations and an adult conversations too. Yeah. That potentially won't get butthurt, that will, you know, they understand that a conversation is just that, it's a fucking conversation. But I also like the ones that don't make the conversation have to be about sex 24-7. Right. And also no exaggerated stories. Mm-hmm. I can pretty much tell when someone's full of shit. Like we went to Don't bullshit a bullshitter. I'm not a bullshitter. But what I'll and now we're kind of getting into more or less like what the red flags are on this, but yeah, but the green flags are no exaggerated stories. Yes. For example, I remember going to um a club, or so to say club, a house party. And we were leaving early because I was going to go fishing in the morning. And the individual was like, Oh, what kind of boat do you got? And I told him, it's an older boat. You know, it ain't nothing new, fancy. This dude was, oh yeah, I got a you know, fucking bass cat and uh fucking pontoon as well, and brand new and Okay, dude, no, you don't. I see what you drive, I see where you live. Yeah. Like, no the fuck you don't. Trying to convince us that he has two different boats. I was like, where are they? Because you they're not here. But like when you try to sit there and one up and when you try to lie, like, okay, that's fucking annoying. Yeah. Like, that's very annoying. You can still talk to us about the boat without like making up your own boat. But the ones that are honest is that I I I could talk to them for hours. Yeah. Like I could I feel like typically I feel like I could talk to them for hours. And realistically, authenticity is way more attractive than perfection. Oh, yeah. You know, perfection always has like it's not always greener on the other side. You know. Yeah, but I also feel like no one's fucking perfect either. So trying to be a good one. But when they try to be like when they try to be perfect, like they I can check all of these boxes. Yeah. No, you can't. Just be honest. Yep. But I mean, I think really a green flag is like when it's when they're being honest, when their profile pictures are exactly who they are. And they're not overselling themselves. Yeah. You know, when when they know, hey, this is who we are, take it or leave it, fuck, that's hot. And again, confidence next to me. We're not we're not dogging filters either. Like I use filters, some, but not heavily. You can still tell who I am. Whatever, when you take I hate taking photos with you because when I take a photo with you, I look like I'm wearing makeup. Because I use the filter on Snapchat for wearing makeup when I'm not wearing makeup. So it looks like I'm wearing makeup. Again, when I take photos with you, I hate taking photos with you because you use the makeup filter. We never have any pictures of ourselves. Correct. Yeah. Together. Yeah. I take myself as you take yours. Uh, but yeah. Occasionally you let me slip in some filters. Yeah. All right, y'all. We're gonna be right back. I gotta go get some more sweet tea, and then we're gonna come back and we will talk a little bit more on green flags. We'll be right back. We would like to take a minute to talk about something really important in the lifestyle: sexual health. Yes, communication and consent are huge parts of the lifestyle, but staying on top of your health is just as important. That's why we're excited to tell you about shameless care. They provide sex positive health care designed for people who want discrete, judgment-free testing and support from an actual certified physician. And one of the things we love about them is that they actually understand the lifestyle community. Their testing options are comprehensive, private, and designed to make it easy to stay proactive about your health. And let's be honest, the easier testing is, the more likely people are going to actually do it. Exactly. Taking care of yourself and your partners is one of the most responsible things you can do in the lifestyle. So if you're looking for convenient, confidential sexual health service, check out Shameless Care. Because confidence in the playroom starts with confidence in your health. And by using the promo code ITP at checkout, you can get $15 off. One more thing before we get back to the show. If you do not have an SDC, please feel free to get one using our promo code 37673. By using that code, it'll get you one month free of premium access. Seek Discover Connect. I honestly think that it is the best website for ethical non-monogamy or lifestyle. That code again is 37673. Now back to the show. All right, and we are back. We are back. Hey, hey. All right, so uh for again, if you don't have an STC, please use our promo code 37673. Get a uh month free of premium access. And also uh for shameless care. They also just don't just do uh STI, SDD treatment, but they also do like ED medication and arousal cream for women. So please go check that out. They have all kinds of stuff. Yeah, use use code ITP for $15 off your order. All right, so let's get back into it, right? So another green flag I'm gonna say is ones that make everybody feel comfortable. Oh, for sure. They're they're the ones that are going, that are introducing you to their friends. Like, hey, you know, have you met so and so? Oh, well, come over here. You'll you'll love them, you know. Those are the people that are just gold. This reminds me of you though, because I one thing in particular stands out. We were at a club and there was a single female there that was just standing off in the corner, not talking to anybody, and you pulled her in, and we were playing the freaking ring toss game, the around a dildo, basically, and we pulled her in and had her playing and she was just sitting by herself and not talking to anyone. Well, the thing is, is like I was I I was reading the room and I saw someone that was shy, and I could tell that she was by herself, and so I just went and asked her, like, hey, you know, how are you? I'm Jason. This is my wife, Stephanie, over there. Uh, what are you doing? Nothing. Oh, are you okay? Uh just a little shy. This is my first time. Okay, cool. Uh, come over here. We're playing a game. We're gonna include you, and we're gonna I'm gonna introduce you to these people. Yep. She actually ended up going off with these people, and they had a blast, they had a good, great time. Yeah, but was also what was also great is that the conversations kept flowing. Oh, yeah, I wasn't like there there was there was no awkward moments, there was none of that. And that right there drew a fucking crowd. Oh, we had the whole back room full, or the back patio. Back patio. Yeah, because we uh it started out with like four or five people, like or four people. It was us and another couple, and then I got her involved, and then another couple came over, and then another couple came over, and the next thing you know, we're having fucking 20 different conversations based on the same topic just across from each other. Yep. And it was it was a great time. And the the ones, and I'm not saying that I'm not trying to be boastful or anything, but I I saw that at one point when we were when we started going to the club, and that made it so much easier for us to talk to people. That made it so much easier for me to talk to people. And so I try to emulate that. I always try to introduce people to other people, and the ones that do that as well is just that they those people are gold. Like those are the ones that you want in the lifestyle, those are the ones that are building up the lifestyle of they're building up the community, they're not tearing anyone down, they're boosting everyone up. Correct. And and to me, that's that's amazing. Oh, for sure. Another one is whenever a couple can understand the consent culture, you know, they ask before touching. Um, they're reading people's body languages, um, and you know, they're always checking in, not just with their partners, but also with you, like or me in the event that we're playing, you know. And I've been guilty of this too. Um I've been told shut the fuck up. You know, with how many times I ask, is this okay? Can I do this or whatever else like that? I've just been told shut the fuck up. Consent can be taken away just as easily as it's given. So you want those check-ins. So the ones that that are constantly doing it, I know that they're respecting my boundaries. I know that they're respecting our soft boundaries. I know that they're respecting our hard boundaries as well. Yeah. And to me, that is just that's super, super fucking hot. Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah. But it also lets you know that you um are gonna be taken advantage of and you can trust that when you say no, they're gonna take your no. Yeah. And not try to push it. Yeah. I am gonna say also another one is when a couple knows their worth and they're not desperate. Um, you know, you can always go to a club and you can tell which couple is just trying to fuck whoever wants to fuck them. Um they're not looking for real conversations, uh, they're not looking for connections, they're not looking for friendship. They just want to fuck. Doesn't matter if they're attracted to you or not. You know, and to me that is a huge red flag. Yeah. But the ones that are green flag are the ones that, you know, they're gonna enjoy the event regardless of the outcome. They're not just going to try to fuck someone. Sorry. And we've we've met we've noticed that before. We've witnessed those individuals, you know, as soon as they get there, they think that they're hot shit and everything else like that. They're trying to fuck everybody in the room and no one wants to touch them because they're coming off cocky. Yeah. And at the end of the night, they're leaving with a couple that no one would have, and I'm not trying to yuck anybody's yum or anything, because uh they they may have clicked during conversation, who knows? But based off of their attitude during the during the club, we know what they were doing, and they were desperate. And that they just wanted to fuck. You know, or we've seen that so many times. Yeah. And just, you know, the the ones that are not treating every interaction as a sales pitch, yeah, but just more or less as a conversation and being present in the moment, those are the ones that I would love to talk to. Yeah. And that I want to keep talking to. I do I w I have to add, I know you skipped over it, but um the ones that can take rejection well is a green flag to me. Because if they can I mean, everyone gets told no. I mean, it's not like everyone's getting yeses left and right. Like that's not the thing. People get rejected in this lifestyle. Not everybody's everybody's cup of tea. But if you can take that rejection and respectfully just be like, that's fine, you know, cool. That to me is a green flag. If you're not gonna sit there and then turn around and like badmouth them or make up shit, do whatever, start drama because they turned you down, that's a green flag. Yeah. And I've also had those couples like reach out to us and be like, hey, you know, we we won't w when are we fucking, right? And we're not like, you know, based off of your first state sentence, like I'm not, no, no, we're not interested. Oh, well, you don't know how good y'all could have had it. What a dumb fucking thing to say. Like what a stupid fucking thing to say. Bro, okay, all right. We're we're just fine without you. Goodbye. Y'all have fun and I'll Good luck to you. Yeah, and typically, and typically those individuals no longer have their SDC profile because they're out of it. Because they realize that they're not gonna be a good idea. Wonder why. Yeah. But the ones that go, you know, no worries at all. It was great meeting you. Um, if you decide to change your mind, please let me know. Yeah. Um, hope to talk to you again soon. Whatever else, like the like the ones that are not defensive, then the ones that understand like everybody gets rejected. Yeah. Or, you know, they those those are red flags. Or sorry, green flags. No worries, man. Like, we're good. And it's not just green flags for playing. Th these are also green flags for friendships. Yeah. I mean most of us are mostly for us. I would say we we're about the friendship and the hanging out. The plays extra. Don't get don't get us wrong. We enjoy the play and welcome it whenever it occurs. But that's not our main priority. Honestly, when we went into this and we started this, it was about meeting new people and putting ourselves out there because we grew or at least I can't say I can't say for you, but for me, I grew up very sheltered. So putting putting myself out there and opening up to people like new people and meeting new people and different people. That was that was what drew me to this. Yeah. And like that's what it's about. It's not just about the fucking I agree. I agree. So I think for my last one, I'm gonna say is whenever they follow up follow up afterwards um of a meeting. Um, you know, just letting us letting us know, like, hey, we got home safe. Uh it was great meeting you tonight. Yeah. Uh we had a blast. Thanks for hanging out. Um, or and and it could even be more or less even like an honest conversation, which I hope they are all honest, of saying, Hey, we had a really good time, however, this is how we felt. You know, and to me, the honesty is the the key point in this. Yeah, you have to be honest. So hopefully every interaction is honest because there's no other way to fix or help or do anything if we're not honest with each other. Yeah, but but the ones that are going, man, it was really great meeting you tonight, you know, y'all are awesome, or just sending us that afterwards text or just you know, a message on SDC, like exactly explaining like how they felt, or just, you know, thanks for hanging out, you know, thanks for your time. And or just like the I made it home safe. To me, that means it because we always tell everybody like, hey, text us when you get home, you know, when we host here, like, hey, text us when when you get home so that way we know you made it safe and everything else like that. If you need anything, please let me know. Please drive safe, right? It we won't go to bed until we see that text message. Yeah. And not well, with anyone that leaves here. I mean, because we want to know that they made it home safely. Nine times out of ten, I will not reply to that message. As soon as I see it, I'm asleep. Yeah. Yeah. As soon as as soon as that reply the next day. Yeah, as soon as that message like hits my phone, I'll look at it. And if I have the energy, I'll thumbs up it. But other than that, I'm out, and then I'll reply the next day. But when we when they do leave, um, we do not go to sleep until we see that message. You know, because at that point we're always wondering, like, man, what if their ditch is in a car somewhere? Or sorry, their cars in a ditch somewhere. Sorry, you meant what I knew. I have dyslexia. Um, but you know, I I would just be thinking, like, man, what if their car is in a ditch somewhere? Like, what what if they hit a deer because we live out in the middle of nowhere? What if they hit a sheep or goats or whatever else you want to call them? Hogs. Hogs. Or yeah, whatever, you know. So, and that to me, that's important, is whenever I get that, it's like, okay, cool. They they took the time. Yeah, I know that they're safe, but they also took the time to let us know that they're safe, which is important, which is important to me. Oh, yeah. So I'm gonna say that's a wrap for these. We had a few more, but I mean, we're already at like 45 minutes, so um, yeah. But come come party with us at Naughty if you see us. Um, come hang out with us. Um the the schedule just dropped. It's a busy schedule. It sucks that I'm trying to figure out exactly everything that we want to do. Because we can't do everything. Because we can't do everything, and I don't like that. I really wish I had like the little uh time machine or time thing that Hermani had. I know, right? That'd be cool. But anywho, um on that note, stay safe, stay sexy, stay weird. And keep swinging those pineapples. Bye y'all. Bye y'all. Thank you for tuning in to In the Playroom Podcast. If you've enjoyed this episode, please make sure to give it a five-star rating from wherever you are listening. Don't forget to also follow us on Instagram at STC. If you have any questions, comments, or feedback, please feel free to reach out and email us at in the playroom podcast at gmail.com and let us know what's on your mind. We might just feature it in our next episode. Stay sexy, stay weird, and stay safe and keep swinging those pineapples.