Episode 17: Packing for Paradise, Preparing for Reality

Lifestyle trips, hotel takeovers, cruises, clubs, and resort vacations can be some of the most exciting experiences for couples in the ENM community. But what happens when real life gets in the way? In this episode, Jason and Stef discuss the challenges of balancing careers, family responsibilities, finances, unexpected emergencies, and everyday stress while still making time for the lifestyle. Drawing from their own experiences, they share stories of trips that didn't go as planned, last-minute cancellations, unexpected obstacles, and the lessons they've learned along the way. They also talk about the importance of flexibility, managing expectations, budgeting for lifestyle events, communicating with your partner during stressful situations, and knowing when it's okay to prioritize real life over playtime. Because while the lifestyle can be an amazing escape, it should never come at the expense of your relationship, responsibilities, or peace of mind. Whether you're planning your first lifestyle vacation or you're a seasoned traveler juggling a busy schedule, this episode offers practical advice on keeping life and lifestyle in balance. Because the best lifestyle experiences happen when your real life and your lifestyle life are working together not competing with each other.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:09

Welcome to In the Playroom, the podcast where the doors are open, the lights are low, and nothing is off limits.

SPEAKER_03 0:16

We're your host, Jason Stephanie. Each week, we're bringing you honest, unfiltered conversations from our personal journeys to the swinging lifestyle.

SPEAKER_00 0:24

Just a heads up, we are not professionals, therapists, or lifestyle experts. What we share here is based on our own real experiences. The good, the awkward, and the absolutely unforgettable.

SPEAKER_03 0:36

Whether you're curious, already exploring, or just love hearing what goes down behind closed doors, you've got a place right here with us.

SPEAKER_00 0:43

So kick off your shoes, pour a drink, and step into the playroom.

SPEAKER_01 0:58

And I'm Stephanie.

SPEAKER_03 0:59

And we are back. We took another little break, uh, but it's it it goes based off of this episode. It really does.

SPEAKER_00 1:09

Yeah, it really does. You know the the main story of this episode, our conversation, I really should say, is um balancing your normal everyday life with the lifestyle, but which that's a topic we've kind of touched on before. But this one is going to be when a lifestyle event is planned well ahead of time.

SPEAKER_03 1:38

And an emergency happens, like how to figure out like exactly like what you would want to do and everything else like that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:44

Yeah. But I mean in all honesty, basically, no matter like what we have going on, how much we plan or how much we prepare for an event. Real life can sneak up on you and catch you off guard, and then you're gonna have to be ready to prepare for a plan B.

SPEAKER_03 2:06

Yes. And you know what I will say to our listeners is yes, we will be at Naughty Um in two weeks. But uh there was probably about a solid week prior uh to today that we were trying to figure out okay, can we go? Do we need to at least get some of our money back?

SPEAKER_00 2:28

Do we need to try to cancel it?

SPEAKER_03 2:29

Yeah, do we need to try to cancel everything else like that? Luckily, we didn't, and it looks like as of now we're able to go, and it looks like in the future, like we're we're gonna be able to, you know. Yeah, I'm not gonna say for sure we'll be there because there's so much unknown right now. But as far as like what it's looking like, is yes, we'll be there.

SPEAKER_00 2:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:56

You know, that's that's what I'm gonna say.

SPEAKER_00 2:58

But I mean, because in all honesty, the reason why we had a break and the reason for this episode is because a lot of people put a lot of time and effort and preparation and planning and everything into big events like this, like not even just big events like this, but even just preparing for a weekend for a hotel takeover.

SPEAKER_03 3:18

Yeah, or going to Colette or whatever else.

SPEAKER_00 3:22

Yeah, and we just had a a family emergency pop up that took me away.

SPEAKER_03 3:30

Yeah, I was by myself for like almost two weeks. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:35

You survived though.

SPEAKER_03 3:36

Barely.

SPEAKER_00 3:37

I think you're fine.

SPEAKER_03 3:38

Okay. But yeah, you you were gone for two weeks. Sorry for interrupting, but yeah, you were gone for two weeks, and there was a lot of unknowns, and it's hard to it's not like I can call you in the middle of you dealing with what you're dealing with and going, hey, do we need to fucking cancel Naughty? Because this trip is fairly expensive. I'm gonna say that. I mean, we spent cheap almost fourteen hundred dollars on the hotel room and then nine hundred dollars for the ticket. I mean, there's twenty three hundred dollars right there. Yeah, you know, it's hey, do I need to figure out something or and I couldn't I couldn't just call you and ask you. So it was mainly over text messages, yeah. And I don't like texting because I can't I can't get my tone across, I can't get my authenticity across through text. Yeah and so I the last thing I needed for for you to think is I'm being an asshole while you're dealing with this, and I'm just worried about money and that, and that's that's not the case.

SPEAKER_00 4:50

Well, no, and it didn't it didn't help either that even whenever we did get to talk on the phone and you had asked, I was just like, I don't know, because there was so much correct more at that point that we did not know. We know a little bit more now. Yeah, there's still a lot of unknowns, but but from what we have found out, we're good to go.

SPEAKER_03 5:10

Yeah, but I mean when you got back, that's when it was okay, cool, we need to go in here and we need to talk seriously about what we want to do.

SPEAKER_01 5:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:20

And we even talked about it before you left the second time. And, you know, you just told me you were like, hey, look, and I think we kind of reassured each other, like, hey, look, everything's already paid for.

SPEAKER_01 5:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:33

So it doesn't really matter if we can go or not. I mean, it does, but it doesn't because we already don't have that money.

SPEAKER_00 5:44

We already decided.

SPEAKER_03 5:45

Yeah, we already don't have it. So if anything, it's just gonna part of it is going to come back, you know? And that's that's we're kind of like, okay, you're right, you know. And so we waited for you to get back, and we waited for well, because you're the planner, and I'm the one that's kind of like, I like to you just like to tag along.

SPEAKER_00 6:07

Play it by well, no, I'm the play it by ear, don't make any big decisions until like we 100% have to. Yeah, and you are like, we need to get ahead of this. Yeah, that's that's our personalities. I am the procrastinator, and you're the one that's like, we gotta get this done and we gotta get it done now.

SPEAKER_03 6:24

Well, because you know, and and again, like it really didn't matter, but in the back of my mind is like, man, if I could get at least $900 back, I'd love to get $900 back. Or if I can get $500 back, yeah, I would love to get $500 back. I could buy a new gun with that.

SPEAKER_00 6:41

Yeah. Well, but even whenever it was all going on, in the back of my head, I was like, there was I didn't want to say a definite, like, yes, we should cancel. Because in the back of my head, I was like, there's still so much we don't know. We weren't given that much information.

SPEAKER_03 6:57

Well, and I think a part of it was we were so afraid of having FOMO in the event we couldn't go.

SPEAKER_00 7:05

Yeah, that too, probably. But I mean, I think my biggest thing was I didn't want to make a decision when we knew very little information on what was going on back home.

SPEAKER_03 7:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:20

And once we found out some more information, I'm a little more comfortable with the decision to continue to go. And I mean, it was just I don't want to get into it on the podcast. It's not part of this.

SPEAKER_03 7:34

It's just No, no, no, I I completely understand. Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 7:37

It was a family thing that I'm having to deal with, but it's okay.

SPEAKER_03 7:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:45

But um as of right now, we should be good.

SPEAKER_03 7:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:49

But that's what this episode's all about because it's about being prepared for the unknown. Yeah, and then also at the same time, you have to keep in mind most couples are a lot like us. There is one that is very prepared and well planned and thought out things, and then there's the ones like me that are like flying by the edge of their seats and just winging it half the time. And that's just yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:14

All right, so let's talk a little bit more about this. Okay. You go. You're leading it.

SPEAKER_00 8:20

No shit. All right, let's jump into this. Um, there are some of my little talking points that I've written down that we've kind of already touched on, but I want to just reiterate them because when it comes to lifestyle plans, real life can jump in there and interrupt those plans very quickly and very easily. But like when it comes to planning, you know, a weekend away or a week or you know, these kind of trips, um, having to cancel those plans, there is an emotional letdown. And when it comes to the lifestyle, you have to learn to be flexible with that because it is very important to remember that it is just one event. It is okay to miss one event. In the grand scheme of things, it is just one fucking event.

SPEAKER_03 9:06

And I do understand like where you get invested in it because at that point y'all are y'all are excited about it. You're buying outfits, you're talking about it, you're fantasizing about it. You're fantasizing about like you go on to this trip with your friends or you know, haha, our friends are probably listening that we're going to naughty with, haha. But like, I mean, you do you you talk to each other in even intimate settings about these events, but again, like you're right, you don't need to let it just you don't need to let it run you, especially if it's just one event. Like, I understand like it's a big event, but there's gonna be more naughty events, yeah. You have yeah, and that's the thing you have for us, like for us, there's gonna be more naughty events that we're gonna be able to attend, and there's gonna be other events that we could go to and just have just as much as a great time.

SPEAKER_00 10:00

Well, yeah, I mean, and you have to remember, at least, especially with big bigger events like this, yeah, they only come once a year. But they come every year, it's not a one-time thing.

SPEAKER_03 10:11

Yeah, but and also what you need to understand is it's not all at the same time.

SPEAKER_01 10:16

No.

SPEAKER_03 10:16

They they do really good at like coordinating well, we're not gonna do it on this week because there's already a party going on. There's already another big event going on, so let's do it another week and try to get more people.

SPEAKER_00 10:31

A lot of those bigger events that do that or that put on these bigger events, they do that. They yeah, they look, I mean, they take the US as a whole and kind of like or what's close to them, really, in their region of the US.

SPEAKER_03 10:45

We don't know for sure, but we would like to assume.

SPEAKER_00 10:47

I feel like they do.

SPEAKER_03 10:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:49

I'm gonna I'm gonna go with their they're not like me, and they plan ahead.

SPEAKER_03 10:54

Yeah, yeah, I agree. But I mean, what I'm I get what you're saying is like, you know, you're so stuck on this one event, but always remember, like, yeah, you did have plans with these friends to go on this event. However, there are other events throughout the year that are just as big.

SPEAKER_00 11:13

And you also have to remember that your friends are gonna understand, especially if there's a situation going on.

SPEAKER_03 11:18

Absolutely. And then, you know, and I do understand the FOMO part of, you know, because we kind of had that, you know, last year during the KOS trip.

SPEAKER_01 11:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 11:30

You know, we had FOMO very bad about man, I bet everybody's I wonder who's there, or I wonder what you we kind of already knew the theme nights, but I wonder what what the party is like tonight. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:42

And then or what they did different this year, you know, those kinds of things.

SPEAKER_03 11:45

Yeah. So I mean, FOMO is a real thing too. I will say that. Oh, yeah. But I mean, I think you're 100% correct, is you cannot be so upset over the fact that you just missed one party, but you also gotta remember like there's gonna be more than just one. Even if you are stuck on wanting to go to Hito, or even if you are stuck on wanting to go to a certain Bliss Cruise, more than likely there will be another fucking Hito. Actually, I know for a fact there will be another HEDO. And I know that there's gonna be another Bliss Cruise. It may not be the same boat, it may not be the same people putting it on. Well, besides Bliss and the owners of Bliss, but it may not be the same, like you know, people there that are content creators or whatever else that you're super excited about meeting, however, there's gonna be another one next year, probably.

SPEAKER_00 12:43

Yeah, that's true.

SPEAKER_03 12:45

Or there's gonna be one very similar.

SPEAKER_00 12:46

Oh yeah. Well, and one of the questions that I've heard a lot lately is when it's come to planning trips like this, have y'all ever had to cancel? And I'm gonna have to say no because we haven't. We've never planned a trip this big. But we have had to cancel weekend trips, like just overnight trips, like two hours away because of family emergencies or things like that. But it and it and I'm saying that just to say that like it is important you know, to I mean shit.

SPEAKER_03 13:31

It's important to categorize what is important to you and what is least important to you.

SPEAKER_00 13:36

Yes, that's again that's what I'm yeah, yeah. I kind of saw where your mind was going. I I went in the I started backwards, but like your your everyday true life responsibilities to you know, your spouse, your family, you know, your job, work, you know, all of that.

SPEAKER_03 13:55

Your career, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:56

That is more important than the lifestyle.

SPEAKER_02 14:01

To us. To us.

SPEAKER_00 14:02

Yes, but I'm and and I'm only gonna say that uh I'm saying that only to really just say not saying we don't take the lifestyle seriously. Hell, we have a podcast. But when it comes to what matters most, yeah, Naughty will be around next year. If we had to cancel, we would cancel. I just didn't want to make that decision yet because I didn't feel like we had enough information. But if it was somebody else that had all of the information they needed at the same time we did, and it wasn't looking like it does for us right now, then yes, I probably would have been like, no, I think we need to cancel.

SPEAKER_03 14:41

Yeah. And don't get me wrong, like we came extremely close. We really did a few times. Yes, like we came very, very close. But I mean, you know, like you said, you gotta prioritize what is important to you and what is I'm not gonna say least important, but what is well fucked I guess least important, I don't know. I mean, yeah, well, what what is second to that? Yeah, like you know, that's what I'm getting at. What is second to that?

SPEAKER_00 15:12

And that's where like these No, like when you have two situations, like you have the the party and then you have whatever unexpected thing happens, it's like which one is more which one do you view more important than the other? Not necessarily that like you don't care about it at all, but if you have these two things, it's like comparing the two, which one is more important? It's not that you're saying it's least important or more important, it's that out of the two, you have to pick which one matters the most.

SPEAKER_03 15:39

Yeah, and this doesn't just go based off of family emergencies, and I know that that that's what we're talking about, but it also goes based off of like child care. It goes based off of you know how long you work that day. It goes based off of, you know, a whole plethora of things, you know. I mean, there's times where typically on Fridays, I get off super fucking early. But there has been times where on Fridays we'd plan to go to Dallas or whatever else we'd plan to go to, you know, Lubbock or wherever. And by the time I get off on Friday, it's already 6 30 at night, and I really don't care to make that two-hour drive, three-hour drive.

SPEAKER_00 16:21

Yeah, just to be tired and go to a party.

SPEAKER_03 16:24

Yeah, just to be tired and go to a party because at the end of the night, I'm gonna fucking be miserable. And I feel with my misery, that is going to make you miserable, and we're gonna be like, why the fuck did we even do this? Yeah, you know, I would rather go to an event knowing that, hey, I'm here to party, I'm here to have fun with my spouse, and let's get this shit rocking. Not fuck, I need a nap. Okay, and I know I'm gonna need that.

SPEAKER_00 16:56

But there have been times where you've gotten off late and we've still gone. And the whole way there, you're like, I'm so fucking tired, maybe we should have canceled. And then we get there, and by the end of the night, you're like, I'm glad we decided to come.

SPEAKER_03 17:09

Absolutely, but again, like that it depends on the person, it depends on your mood, yes, and it really depends on the situation. Now, I mean, me working late, okay, yeah, cool, you know, we'll we'll try to go. But in the event one of our kids are sick or you know, whatever else, no, I'm not even gonna risk it. And there is there has been times like we went to um we went to um a party uh about an hour and a half away from here. We left, and not even 20 minutes later you get a flat. And we're dealing with that, we're dealing with that flat for a fucking hour. Because apparently this tire has never came off the vehicle, and I swear to god, I think it was welded on there because I was beating the shit out of it, just trying to knock it loose.

SPEAKER_00 18:03

It was not welded.

SPEAKER_03 18:05

It was not coming off. And by the time I got back in the truck, the clothes that I had on was fucking disgusting.

SPEAKER_01 18:13

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 18:14

I was sweaty. We stopped at Dollar General to get me a fucking random t-shirt, and you know, and we still went. But I mean, if it was something, let's say kids were sick, or let's say, you know, I got I got a call at work saying, hey, I need you here right now, and it's gonna be a really, really, really late night. Well, you know, I love as much as I love being in the lifestyle, I do love being able to afford lifestyle things.

SPEAKER_01 18:45

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 18:45

So I'm going to go to work right so I don't get fired.

SPEAKER_01 18:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:51

And, you know, do what I gotta do to where we can afford these things.

SPEAKER_00 18:56

For sure.

SPEAKER_03 18:57

You know, and and that's another thing. It's like money issues.

SPEAKER_00 19:00

That was one of my things.

SPEAKER_03 19:02

That's always a thing.

SPEAKER_00 19:03

Pausing lifestyle spending when it's necessary.

SPEAKER_03 19:06

And I'm gonna tell our listeners this being a swinger is not fucking cheap.

SPEAKER_01 19:12

Oh, not at all.

SPEAKER_03 19:13

At all. No, even if you don't go to parties, even if you host, the amount of money you will end up spending on toys, furniture, and everything else is fucking ungodly. Like, we have probably over $3,000 in sex toys.

SPEAKER_00 19:32

Oh, easily. Easily, easily.

SPEAKER_03 19:35

With the motor bunny, with the fucking machine, with the East End. We're getting off topic though. Yes, I am. But like with all of those, like money can be a very good factor for going, hey, maybe we shouldn't go to this party.

SPEAKER_00 19:53

But I also have like putting um reevaluating your priorities. And it's under financial concerns because when it comes to unexpected things, like say, for instance, the night we got the flat, if something else would have happened, okay. Yeah, I'd have been out. We would've we have to take care of our shit before we can go have fun.

SPEAKER_03 20:18

Sorry, I would rather have electricity than than have sexual fun.

SPEAKER_00 20:22

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:23

You know, especially I would rather have I would rather have Netflix. It's fucking 100 degrees outside than you know. But yeah, I completely understand. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:32

You have to reevaluate like when you have the unexpected like ex expenses, things like that, it's okay to step back and re-evaluate and put the lifestyle at a lower level. Yeah, we've all been there. I can almost guarantee you every person in the lifestyle at one point or another has said, I don't think we should go on this trip. We should probably save our money for something else.

SPEAKER_03 21:01

Correct. And we did that.

SPEAKER_00 21:02

We've done that.

SPEAKER_03 21:03

We well, we did that for Naughty.

SPEAKER_00 21:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:05

You know, how many hotel takeovers have we skipped? How many parties have we skipped wanting to go to these parties, knowing, like, hey, you know what? That $300 for the hotel takeover can go towards this, or you know, this money for this club can go towards our outfits.

SPEAKER_00 21:24

Right.

SPEAKER_03 21:24

You know, everything so we have done that.

SPEAKER_00 21:26

Yeah. Especially for naughty.

SPEAKER_03 21:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:29

But I'm saying if you had to cancel an like cancel going to an event because of unexpected expenses, it's okay. It happens, and sometimes you gotta do what's best for you and your family and not what's best for your hoo ha and your dangling. Dangling. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 21:50

No. All right. So let's I think this is a good time to take a break. Uh we'll listen to some commercials and then we'll come back and we'll finish this. And I think When we come back, we'll mele we'll more or less talk about like how we do it.

SPEAKER_02 22:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:06

Does that make sense? All right. We'll be right back. One more thing before we get back to the show. If you do not have an SDC, please feel free to get one using our promo code 37673. By using that code, it'll get you one month free of premium access. Seek Discover Connect. I honestly think that it is the best website for ethical non-monogamy or lifestyle. That code again is 37673. Now back to the show. One more thing before we get back to the show. If you do not have an SDC, please feel free to get one using our promo code 37673. By using that code, it'll get you one month free of premium access. Seek Discover Connect. I honestly think that it is the best website for ethical non-monogamy or lifestyle. That code again is 37673. Now back to the show. Alright, we are back. We are back. Yes. All right, babe. You had something that you were talking to me during the break, and I kind of want you to bring it up in this one. Because I know we were going to say we were going to get into pointers, but you did bring up some really good points that we need to talk about.

SPEAKER_00 23:26

Okay. So one of the other there's a few other things that I wanted to talk about that could possibly come up to where you would need to cancel an event or have to like juggle balancing, you know, life with lifestyle stuff.

SPEAKER_02 23:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:42

Um work is one of those. And I know you touched on it a little bit, but a lot of what you have to remember when it comes to careers and stuff, all careers have different busy seasons.

SPEAKER_03 23:55

Ern, I'm not even gonna just say work. I'm also gonna say schooling too. Because schooling could be in the same thing. Oh, I mean, you're a college, yeah, you're a college student at 36 years old. You know, you're a college student. So I mean, yeah, that that does happen.

SPEAKER_00 24:11

Yes. I mean, I mean, and it's long hours, everything, no matter what career you're in, you have your busy seasons, you have your times of the year that you are way busier than any other time. So you're gonna have situations or events and things like that that you're gonna miss out on. And that's okay because you're putting your career first, which is what you should do, in my opinion. Um, but also when it comes to like career and things like that, you might all also have different opportunities for travel or even the challenges that come along with traveling a lot for work. And that's another thing.

SPEAKER_03 24:50

And you know, I'm even gonna say this like, you know, the your career aspect of it is so important, and people don't understand that. Because if you don't have the money to go to dinner with a couple, if you don't have, you know, if if we're meeting a couple, I'm not gonna expect them to pay our tab. Right, you know, and I'm not gonna expect them to invite us over, and I'm not gonna invite them over here without meeting them first to see exactly like how we click or whatever else like that, unless we've been talking for a really long time.

SPEAKER_01 25:24

And feel comfortable with them.

SPEAKER_03 25:26

Yeah, and feel comfortable with them. But when it comes to like your money thing, you you cannot go to clubs without money. They're not just gonna let you in the door. No, you can't go to resorts. You I guess you could dine and dash if you really wanted to, but I mean that's that's that's one that's gonna show your character to a couple that you're supposed to get connected with. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:49

But I mean, this just goes back to um I think your career.

SPEAKER_03 25:53

What I'm saying is like I think your career and caring about your career is way more important than the lifestyle.

SPEAKER_00 26:00

Well, yes, but I'm just saying it comes back to you saying that the lifestyle is expensive.

SPEAKER_03 26:06

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:07

You have to have at least some kind of job.

SPEAKER_03 26:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:11

And you've got to take it serious.

SPEAKER_03 26:13

Yeah, you have to have some type of income.

SPEAKER_00 26:15

But it another part of like the traveling when it comes to like your career, another big pointer that or another big point I have to make is how important it is maintaining your communication and trust with your partner during those times of travel. Because I mean, there are people who when their spouse travels, they're in agreement that they can play separately. And that's great for them. Love that they can do that. Um there have been times where you've had to travel for work and you've told me to do the same thing, and I cannot take that leap. Not because I don't feel like you don't trust me to do it, it's more or less like that mind block in my head. So yeah, it just stops me from being able to commit to it really. But I mean, we've talked about it, and a lot of it with a lot of things with us is we talk about it a lot before I actually take the leap to do it. Yeah, and I think this is another one of those things. We've said it before. Y'all, you've said it before numerous times, and even on your last trip you were on, and I just couldn't do it.

SPEAKER_03 27:28

And well, and I think it depends on who the couple, yeah, it's it's the couple. Like, for instance, we met this really, really cool, awesome couple a few weeks ago, and I can already see us like being super close and potentially doing that with them. Yeah, I really could. I could see, you know, me saying, hey, go over there, have fun with her, you know, whatever. If if he wants to join, he he joins. And cool. And I could see you doing the same thing with me. Now, I'm gonna say, if you gave me the option, I probably wouldn't hesitate like you because she's fine as fuck.

SPEAKER_02 28:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:11

And but I mean, it it really depends on the couple. You know, I that's all I'm gonna say about that. But okay, continue.

SPEAKER_00 28:19

Well, and that's what I was getting at. I mean, it was with somebody you wanted you were okay with, but and I'm kind of going a little off topic with it, but that's just where my mind went when it was whenever I was thinking about you know, keeping communication and trust whenever you travel a lot. And that's another one, like to me, that's part of the trust. And yes, I know you would trust me to do it, but I don't know that I could ever make that leap. Maybe not for a while at least. Um but another part of you know, balancing career and lifestyle is privacy considerations, because you don't know what other people's jobs are or what you might say out loud and out in public that could jeopardize them.

SPEAKER_02 29:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:07

But also keeping your personal and professional lives separate. And I say that to the fact of when it comes to careers, not I mean, we've we've said from the get-go, all of our vanilla friends know. I'm saying this as professional, like career-wise. Keep it separate because you never know what could fuck up your career.

SPEAKER_03 29:35

I wouldn't necessarily say keep it separate, I would say keep work, work, and keep lifestyle, lifestyle. Now, if you have someone at work that you think is in the lifestyle or that has told you that they're in the lifestyle, then you know, it it goes back to, you know, the event that happened with you recently.

SPEAKER_01 29:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 29:57

I don't necessarily think she wants to fuck us. I think that she wants someone that she can talk to in the lifestyle because I don't yeah, because I don't think that she has any like I don't I don't know her profile, but I don't necessarily think that she like knowing her, she plays outside of our town, right? She doesn't play inside of our town or even near our town. It's it's it's way outside. Yeah. So obviously, you know, she may have some friends from you know parties or clubs or whatever else like that, but she doesn't have someone that she talks to every day like you do.

SPEAKER_01 30:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 30:38

Like she talks to you. So I think that, you know, you gotta keep work work. Yes, absolutely. But if you do find someone within the lifestyle that does work with you, or you happen to work for them, but they still confide in you and still tell you that, hey, this is who I am. Yeah, I'm just like you, maybe they're looking for a friendship to say, hey, what do you think about this outfit for this party?

SPEAKER_01 31:09

Maybe.

SPEAKER_03 31:09

Or or anything else like that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:12

Now and yeah, but I will say like But that's still, I mean, but I'm when I say keep, you know, work or you know, career, career, you know, and lifestyle to itself. There have been times where they the lines cross because there are people we work with or whatever that might be in it. We don't have a one of our one of our things is we don't really play with people that we work with. Not everybody has that. So if you do that, that's cool on you, but yeah, we kind of keep it separate. I do agree with like especially the having someone to talk to in the workplace. That is nice.

SPEAKER_03 32:00

We're going so off topic right now.

SPEAKER_00 32:03

So, okay, I don't know where to go from this now.

SPEAKER_03 32:06

All right. So how do we deal with this, right? We talk to each other. We literally ask each other, like, hey, is this event worth going? Is this event worth risking for? Going to this event, is it worth risking being a little short on money this week? Or is it worth having to pay more for child care?

SPEAKER_00 32:32

Have it or or that was one of the things I wanted to talk about too, is you know, parenting and balancing the lifestyle. Because I mean you gotta figure out child care, you have to plan around school activities.

SPEAKER_03 32:47

Yes, and then when you also have teenagers, uh their emotions are everywhere. So in one minute, they could be the happiest fucking kid, and then the next minute they think everybody's out to get them, and they're the worst human in the world. And there has been times where we have left events. We I remember going to dinner with three different couples, and we were playing cards, and our kid said, Hey, I'm not feeling like myself, whatever else. And immediately we we left. Yeah, immediately we had to leave.

SPEAKER_00 33:27

100%.

SPEAKER_03 33:28

And you know, that's that's what's you gotta figure out what's important for you and your family. Now, if it's my kid saying our other kid touched her foot and she didn't like the way she touched her foot, if I get home for that, I'm gonna be upset because I'm like, you little shit, like you could have fucking handled this, like you could have just looked completely over the fact that your sibling touched your other foot and you didn't like the way she touched it. You didn't have to text us and complain and make us think that someone's freaking out, right? But I mean, teenagers and and oh my god, fuck, I hate them so much. But teenagers in general, like they it's so hard to figure out exactly if you need to come home or not. However, I will say this if there's any doubt in my mind, we're coming home, we're coming home. Period. Yep. And you know, again, like your couples that you're talking to will understand this. They will oh they will agree with you. They will, you know, when when we had to come home because our kid was scared of scared shitless of the dog, you know, the other day.

SPEAKER_01 34:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 34:46

We had to come over because or we had to leave a dinner, another dinner, earlier again because our kid texted us saying, Hey, your dog's growling at me. What the fuck do you mean? Growling at you. Well, hell, I got home and it really wasn't that big of a deal, but I mean it still was a big deal.

SPEAKER_01 35:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 35:05

But I mean, we told our friends, and we're trying to get our tab that is in a extremely busy bar, and they said, Don't worry about it, we got your tab.

SPEAKER_02 35:17

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 35:18

And I told him, I was like, dude, okay, cool, send me the amount, let me cash app you, let me do something. Still haven't heard of the amount. I would love to, but I mean, and your friends are going to respect that, and if they're really your friends, that's what I'm gonna say. If they're really your friends, there are some people that really don't give two fucks about what's going on in your personal life, and they just want to fuck you. Not not going to yuck anybody's yum, however, I think that that me personally, I think that that's fucked up. But not to yuck anybody's yum.

SPEAKER_00 35:55

We because I mean we we value the friendships the most. So that's what that's what's important to us. If other I mean, there are people out there that don't want to really get to know you, they're just in the lifestyle to play and then dip, which there's a lot of people like that. That's what they like, that's what they like. Maybe that's I don't know. This is just in my own opinion, I feel like that's their way of not getting too too connected because they struggle separating sex from like feelings.

SPEAKER_03 36:28

Either that or they're so self-conscious about them leaving each other for other couples. Right. You know? But anywho, we're getting way off. Still getting off topic. Still getting off topic.

SPEAKER_00 36:40

Okay, so what do we do in all of these situations to help balance life and lifestyle?

SPEAKER_03 36:45

We talk. We we talk, we make time to figure out exactly what is more important to us, and we we compare and contrast. I mean, ultimately, that that's what we do.

SPEAKER_00 37:02

Well, and we also don't like overbook ourselves to where we like have like a lifestyle something another, like every weekend back to back to back to back. Yeah, we'll we'll we'll do one take breaks, we'll do one and then go like two or three weeks at least before we talk about another one.

SPEAKER_03 37:20

But I will say this is like it in the event it's hanging out with a couple, um, whatever else, and during that break of hanging out with a couple, the conversations are still happening with that couple.

SPEAKER_00 37:35

Well, I'm talking about events, not just hanging out with couples.

SPEAKER_03 37:37

Well, I mean, no, this is just lifestyle shit in general. Like, whether you're going to a hotel takeover, whether you're going to dinner with a couple, whatever else. Like it's this this is my idea of the whole life, or this is my idea of the whole episode. Whether you're talking to a couple or whether you're going to events, whatever else, it it's all in one. Now, if you're talking to a couple, you hang out, you hang out with a couple, sorry, freedom. Um, if you're hanging out with a couple or whatever else like that, and then you hang out with a couple next weekend, and then you hang out with a couple next weekend, and then the weekend after something happens, says, Okay, take a break from hanging out. And as as you know, I'm gonna say we've had that happen too, but the communication still is there between us and that couple.

SPEAKER_00 38:31

Oh, 100%. Like, even that's what I was getting. Like, we've talked to the couple you were talking about that we met a couple of weeks ago that we hit it off with.

SPEAKER_03 38:40

And gosh, she is so fine.

SPEAKER_00 38:41

She messaged us while we were in the middle of recording this. Um, because no matter what, I mean, that our the friendship is what matters to us. And I feel like when we're balancing like our real lives with lifestyle, keeping in contact with those daily chats or at least like every couple of days a little chit-chat here and there is uplifting. Like, I mean, because going through your day-to-day, Monday through Friday work, school, kids, bedtime, all of those routines, it it's monotonous. So having those breaks with the chats, even even when we're not leaving our kids to go do something, it's still it's uplifting, it's like encouraging, it's excitement because this is like we're going, we're gonna get to that. We're gonna get to be able to hang out with them in person again. And to me, that's big because I mean, like we said, friendship is what matters. And we keep the contact, we keep communication between you and I and whatever other couples we're talking to.

SPEAKER_03 39:50

Yeah. And I and going back on your first point, like when if when it is a club, when it is an event, whether it's a hotel takeover, if you're going to clubs every week, and then if you're going to hotel takeovers every week, or whatever else like that, if you're just going to club to club to club, or the same club, it really doesn't matter. Different hotel takeovers. Something happens, it's okay to take a break.

SPEAKER_01 40:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 40:17

And and I know that's what you were trying to get at. But I also wanted to put in the aspect of when you're talking to just a couple.

SPEAKER_00 40:25

Right.

SPEAKER_03 40:26

It doesn't necessarily have to be club where you're spending money, it could just be or a lot of money.

SPEAKER_00 40:30

Well, what I was saying is like how we plan, how we schedule. We don't plan going to out of town two weekends in a row, only because, for one, we have kids that we want to spend time with. And two, it's because we plan for those events and we put money aside to where we're not dipping into any other kind of funds that we have set aside.

SPEAKER_03 40:56

Yeah, but that I will say the biggest thing that we do is we talk about it. We talk about how excited we are of it. Like if if we're thinking about going to a club and we are SVP and I say, hey, this is a theme, and you're like, eh, whatever. And then I'm also like, eh, whatever. Nine times out of ten, we're not gonna go to that fucking party. No, because if we're not talking about the theme, and then we're because if we're not really excited about it, yeah, we're not gonna go.

SPEAKER_01 41:30

No.

SPEAKER_03 41:31

And you know, and it's not anything to do with a club. It's just I want to be able to go to a club or an event or whatever else with my person and with my spouse and have the best time.

SPEAKER_00 41:47

Well, yeah, you want to go to things that you're excited about, you don't want to go to things that you're kind of meant about.

SPEAKER_03 41:52

And I definitely don't want to take my per even if I'm excited about it, and I think you feel the same way when it comes to me. That technically, I'm I'm pretty excited about all clubs.

SPEAKER_01 42:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 42:03

Or all themes.

SPEAKER_01 42:04

All themes.

SPEAKER_03 42:05

But um, if we go, like if I say, hey, what do you think about this thing? And you go, uh, I really don't care for it. Cool.

SPEAKER_00 42:14

Too easy, which hasn't been many that I don't like.

SPEAKER_03 42:18

No, but I mean, there has been a few, and it's whenever that happens, I'm like, cool, we don't gotta go. And we'll save that money for the next event.

SPEAKER_00 42:31

Yeah. And one that we want to like one that we want to go to, or or I just do my own thing and I don't dress on theme and just dress sexy.

SPEAKER_03 42:40

Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 42:42

And then we're excited to go.

SPEAKER_03 42:43

No, but I think really the most important thing to this is to communicate, figure out exactly what you want to do, what is more important to each one of you, and go from there. And then compare and contrast. Like fucking do a spider web shoot. I don't care. Whatever you need to do. Just like, and that's I'm dating myself from that. Who was it the other day that I asked who a floppy disk if they knew what a floppy disk was? And they're like, What? Yeah. So I'm really dating myself right now. But like white, huh? Yeah. White chat, yeah. I wasn't gonna say chat, I was just gonna say white. White, yeah. All right, but no, I mean, I think realistically, like you just have to talk to each other, figure out exactly what you want, and go from there.

SPEAKER_00 43:36

But during this, I also feel like it is very important to remember like your why. Like for why you got into the lifestyle. Are you still like to you're doing it to enhance your relationship? Well, we didn't. Well, no, but most people it's enhancing relationships.

SPEAKER_03 43:54

Um I don't necessarily think You should get in a lifestyle to enhance your relationship.

SPEAKER_00 44:02

No, no, no. I'm saying like some people's reasons. I'm not saying ours. I'm just saying some people do it because enhance like not necessarily their relationship, but communication relationships, yeah, like with others. And then the communication styles or communication skills. Uh I'm picking up creating shared experiences together, like that kind of like that kind of thing. You gotta remember that and remind each other of that.

SPEAKER_02 44:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:30

Because sometimes we forget about the reasons why we got in. And I mean, I can I can honestly say there have been times where I felt like we were so excited about something or going somewhere or whatever else that we almost forgot to really enjoy the moment because we were just so excited about it.

SPEAKER_02 44:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:52

Alright, and while we're like talking about, you know, the communication part of it, like communicate, talk to your partner. Um remembering your why also is important to discuss when you're in these like rough, not rough patches, but just everyday life things. Yeah, like the the random stuff that could happen. Just remember your why and just communicate with each other, talk to each other, yeah, and be truthful with each other.

SPEAKER_03 45:29

I completely agree. Uh so yeah, this has been our episode on how to just handle being in lifestyle while every normal, everyday life kicks your ass. I mean, ultimately. Pretty much. Um ultimately I'm gonna say it's up to you and what you choose to do, and you just need to set those what's important to you and what's not I'm not gonna say the least important, but what's less important than the lifestyle and go about it that way. Right?

SPEAKER_00 46:03

Well, not just you, you and your partner.

SPEAKER_03 46:06

Yes, yes, you and you and your partner. But other than that, uh, so right now the plan is for us to be at uh Nadia, New Orleans. We're gonna be in the Saint. Um so if any of our listeners are in the Saint, please reach out to us. Uh, we would love to hang out with y'all. We would love to get dinner, whatever else.

SPEAKER_02 46:29

For sure.

SPEAKER_03 46:30

Um, or just order pizza or whatever else like that. Um get a drink with you. Yeah, get a drink with you, whatever. Hang out with a pool. Yeah, and then also please, please, please remember to use our code ITP for $15 off towards shameless care. Shameless care, everybody talks about shameless care, and they they mainly talk about you know the STD, SDI testing, which is a really good point because they do um they do connect you with a board certified physician uh to talk about in the event you need treatment or whatever else like that, but that's not all that they do. They have so much more, they have ED medication, they have arousal creams, they have everything you could think of. Like, so please go look at them. And if you're one of the ones using Blue Chew or any any brand like that, just I want y'all to go on Shameless Care's website and just look at the videos and look articles about it. Yes, and look at his articles, look at his educational videos on the difference between them and them, the two different companies between Blue Chew and those kinds of things, and then like the their idiom medication, and then like what you're actually getting, everything else like that. Look, please, please, please, read like do the research and educate yourself because yeah, it may cost a little bit extra, but I think, in my opinion, the fact that I know that I'm gonna be confident getting that from them, and I know that I'm gonna be safe, safe from getting it from them.

SPEAKER_00 48:13

Or they know their ingredients, correct.

SPEAKER_03 48:16

And a lot, and and now that we're going, you know, now that we said that, you know, back to the STD SDI testing, a lot of companies, they just give you results and that's it. They don't they don't match you with a board certified physician to get treatment. To get treatment. And I understand most people like, oh, it's not gonna happen to me, oh, it's not gonna happen to me, until it fucking does. Until it does. And then when you when you get that notification of, hey, you have this, but there is no treatment added to it at all, or they don't give any advice, it's just hey, you have this, good luck. Then that's that's why I think it's important for our listeners to understand, like, the quality of shit you're getting with shameless care is going to be so far greater than any other quality from what other brands. And I'm not gonna say the brands because I'm not gonna I'm not gonna down them because they're still good brands. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 49:19

Well, and I don't and we don't really know how the other ones work.

SPEAKER_03 49:22

Um well, I do know that shameless care is the only one that's bird board certified physician that that will match you with a board certified physician.

SPEAKER_00 49:30

I do know that. But what I'm saying is I don't know, I don't know if any of the other ones, if they send you a letter saying like you tested positive for a X, Y, and Z, if they figure a way out to get you medicine too, I don't know. But what I do know is shameless care will get you in contact with a board certified physician, which makes things easier because there are people I've heard it so many times when we've been at clubs or parties and stuff, and people talking about, well, I'm we I've I'm still going to the same physician I've gone to my entire life that knows our entire family and yada yada yada. I don't want to go to them for this. Well, shameless care, you go to them, you get tested, they hook you up with a board certified physician and they get you your medication. Yeah, so you don't have your your physician that's known you your whole life and knows everybody, aunts, cousins, and everybody, they ain't gotta know about it.

SPEAKER_03 50:27

Man, we should have made this the commercial. Damn.

SPEAKER_00 50:31

What me?

SPEAKER_03 50:31

Just now just all of us, just this whole fucking this this whole little stuff.

SPEAKER_00 50:36

Listen, we did, we did such a good job. Yeah. I mean, because we feel we feel good about it. Like that we love, like we love what they're doing.

unknown 50:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 50:45

And I'm not like I am gonna say this, right? And this isn't for our listeners to, you know, I'm not trying to get you to spend money there. However, I will say this company, we were talking to Robert and the owner of Shameless Care. And we told him, hey, this is what we want our money to go to. We do not, we do not have an LLC. We do this all for fun. We do this as a hobby, we do not make any fucking money, we we spend money on this, we don't even recuperate any money at all. And he realized that we were sending it all to charity, and he said, Hey, cool, your commission is now 45% because I like that so much. And to me, that speaks volume.

SPEAKER_02 51:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 51:37

And so if you spend money at Shameless Care and use our code, you get $15 off. But forty-five percent of what you spend will go to a charity for child trafficking. For child trafficking. Also, if you do not have a SDC, please use our como pro shit, como pod. Como code. Dyslexia. If you do not have an SDC, use our promo code 37673. And I really hope to God I'm not saying that backwards. I'm pretty sure it's 37673. But yes, use our promo code 37673 and get one month free of yes, it is. If it's not, you can you can correct me. But use our promo code and get one month free of premium access to STC. This is where you can message people. This is where you could RSVP to parties, you could see their guest list.

SPEAKER_00 52:42

37673.

SPEAKER_03 52:44

That's what I said.

SPEAKER_00 52:45

Is that what you said?

SPEAKER_03 52:46

Yep, that's what I said. Ha ha listening.

SPEAKER_00 52:48

There was something that didn't sound right. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 52:50

Nope. But yes, I did say it. 37673. Uh, but please use that code, get one month of premium access, and I promise you, after that one month, you're gonna if if you're serious lifestyle, if you're not if you're not one of the ones just looking into it, like you've been in this for a few years, go ahead and buy the lifetime membership. I wish I'd have done that years ago.

SPEAKER_00 53:16

I know we spent countless years paying the monthly before we're like Well, we would buy the every three months. Yeah, we would do the three months. But it was like every time we would go to do it, we're like, we wanted to do the lifetime, but then we're like, it's so expensive. And then one year we were just like, you know what? I'm tired of paying every month. Well, even if you're having to remember every like, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 53:38

Well, even if you don't want to pay the full lifetime membership, that's like right now price, just wait a little bit.

SPEAKER_00 53:44

Almost every year around New Year's, they do a big sale.

SPEAKER_03 53:49

Yeah, they do like a big Christmas sale and discount for lifetime membership. So please use that, and then you can still use our promo code, and then we'll get you know 50% of that. And what that does is that goes also to a charity. Again, we don't make any money off this, we spend money. Yes, everything that we buy, our computers, our mics, our wires, everything, our software, freaking subscription, our RSS feed subscription, everything like that cost us money. We're just doing this as a hobby. We're not trying to get rich off of it, we're not making money off of it at all. But I would love the support from our listeners to go check out shameless and help yourself. That way you get that board certified physician for that oops, that one wild night.

SPEAKER_00 54:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 54:45

Or if you do want that that arousal cream, or if you do want that ED medication.

SPEAKER_00 54:49

Or I would say, even if you're looking into trying some of the arousal cream or the ED medication, get on there and do some of your research. Use that as your research because there is some really good articles and videos on there that damn well lay out the pros and the cons for you.

SPEAKER_03 55:10

Yeah. And then also, you know, if you want an account for the best website in the world for lifestylers, check out SDC and use that promo code. Everything that you spend, use it or everything that you get using our promo code. I can guarantee you 100% will go towards the charity.

SPEAKER_00 55:30

100%.

SPEAKER_03 55:31

Yep. All right. On that note, stay safe, stay sexy, stay weird.

SPEAKER_00 55:37

And keep swinging those pineapples.

SPEAKER_03 55:38

Bye, y'all. See y'all in two weeks at Naughty.

SPEAKER_00 55:42

Hey, hey. Thank you for tuning in to In the Playroom Podcast. If you've enjoyed this episode, please make sure to give it a five-star rating from wherever you are listening. Don't forget to also follow us on Instagram at STC. If you have any questions, comments, or feedback, please feel free to reach out and email us at in the playroom podcast at gmail.com and let us know what's on your mind. We might just feature it in our next episode. Stay sexy, stay weird, and stay safe and keep swinging those pineapples.