18: The Crowd Is King — what the prologue poems reveal about the life of a showgirl

In this episode, we uncover the secrets hidden in the six poems that fans are calling a prologue for the album. 

From the meticulous preparatory rituals to the unspoken rules that keep a showgirl sane under the gaze of adoring—and sometimes ruthless—crowds, these poems deepen our understanding of the album but also add a missing element. We explore the “monotonous thrill” of performing night after night, the moments of connection that make it all worth it, and what it truly means to love the life of a showgirl.

I encourage you to read the poems in full first before diving into my analysis in this episode. You can view the poems on my website here.

And don’t miss the bonus writing prompt at the end!

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Transcript

1:18

Welcome to Lit one 12, the Life of a Showgirl where we treat Taylor Swift's latest album like a novel I'm your host, Mara Eller, a literature and writing teacher with 16 years of experience at the high school and college level. I just retired to focus on editing and book coaching, but when I started getting requests for this series on social media, I couldn't resist. Whether you're a veteran swifty or just an AP lit nerd like me who happens to like her music, all are welcome here. I've even got something for you writers, creative prompts inspired by the subject of each lesson. You can find them at the end of the episodes or at mara eller.com/prompts. so grab your metaphorical notebook and let's unpack this record together, chapter by chapter, song by song. we recently finished going through all 12 tracks on the album. but I've got a couple bonus episodes for you. Today we're analyzing the series of six poems that were included with the different physical releases of the album. They were written in Taylor's handwriting and are untitled. At first, they appeared to be standalone poems, But fans quickly noticed that she had placed tiny stars above certain letters in each poem, and that the letters formed a word. The numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 1. For each of the poems, which is how we ended up with six poems arranged, in an intentional order to form one long poem. Fans are calling this a prologue. So in the next several posts, I'll be taking you through each of these poems in order to unpack what they mean and how they might impact our understanding of the album itself. Now, I have to confess upfront that my reading of these poems is influenced by the fact that I watched the first episode of the New Eras tour docuseries that came out on Friday. And what struck me the most was how much Taylor loves performing. she loves her fans and her team, but she also loves performance itself. Intensely, passionately, obsessively, almost self sacrificially at times. And that helped me articulate what I think is a missing piece for the life of the Showgirl album. Namely how much the showgirl loves performing. I think you can hear it to a degree in the way she sings the songs and the way she orchestrates them. But we don't hear anything in the lyrics really about her loving that part of her life about it, bringing her intense joy. It almost makes you wonder why she keeps doing it if it's so difficult, the lyrics are so much about the difficulty of this life that she finds herself leading And we have been sort of layering over that sort of assuming, taking it for granted that she also really loves this life because we're using what we know about Taylor Swift to influence our reading of the text and that's okay. But I think these poems provide a pretty strong indication of that missing piece for the album, which is why I do think these poems are essential for a fuller understanding of the text. These poems show us why it's all worth it, among other things. However, I'm not sure they should be considered a prologue, which is something that would come before the start of a novel to provide important context and character backstory that isn't easily woven into the main plot. Maybe it could work that way. Much like knowing a little about Taylor's life gives us some context for interpreting the album's narrative. But to me, the poems almost serve as a parallel text mirroring motifs that are present in the album and adding perhaps a few new ones. Now, prologues in a novel can be from a different point in time than the main plot. Begins, you know, it could be a flash forward, but usually not to the very end of the novel because that gives too much away. Like the tension that is created at the start in track one that persists all the way until tracks 11 and definitely 12, is this question, is she glad she chose this path? Has it been worth it? And these poems just like track 12 on the album, give that away. It tells us, yes, it was worth it. So I don't think it would make a great prologue for that reason. The perspective in the poems is very much from the vantage point of a showgirl who's been doing this for 20 years or more. But of course we know it's 20 years for Taylor and is looking back at what she's learned, reflecting on what this life means to her now and embracing her reality much like she does in the final track on the album. Only in more detail here, if we were using this as a prologue, if we were reading this before diving into the album itself, then it would function as a key to help us crack the code of the lyrics, much like we discussed regarding the fate of Ophelia and also the fate of Ophelia music video. It would be highlighting things that we would expect to see coming up in the songs, and when we encountered them in the lyrics, we'd pay extra attention to those things. So I'll try to point out those moments in my analysis here. the poems are written in second person with you, so she's writing to herself. It has a journalistic feel, but also the feel of a warning, a reminder kind of instructions, as well as reflections. I'll read each poem in its entirety so you can hear it and allow it to land first, so you can absorb each poem in its entirety before I break it down line by. you can also view the poems with correct formatting and punctuation. as I was looking for the text of the poems online I found that many of the typed up versions are full of errors, including some significant errors like lines missing and definitely do not portray the formatting choices that Taylor made where she indent certain lines. one thing to know about poetry, and since these are not being sung, they are like fully in the category of poetry in a way that lyrics aren't quite. Poems are meant to be seen, not just read and not just heard, although you should always read poetry aloud because it should have some auditory techniques that are at play. How it feels in your mouth as you're reading it, and how it sounds as you hear. It, is also an important part of poems, even if they're not also lyrics. But again, poems specifically are also meant to be seen on a page. So the way that the lines are indented and punctuated and capitalized matters. I'm not going to go into that much detail in this podcast, but I encourage you to take a look at the poems themselves. and you can do that. You can view the poems with correct formatting and punctuation along with an image of the poems in Taylor's own handwriting on my website. By using the link in the show notes. All right, let's dive in. Here's the first poem. Remember, they were not titled in the original form in the physical copies of the album that were distributed, though online, I've seen them with titles, but since that was not included on the originals, I'm just gonna call them by their numbers. So this is poem number one. You wake up branded with the lines of pillow, creases, thunder, bolded tree roots across your cheek. In turn, last night's mascara stains, the ivory hotel pillowcase, each one leaving their mark on the other. Looks like you're even. You say good morning to them when you walk in and they don't correct you as they spray vodka on the armpits of the dancer's costumes. We learn these tricks along the way. The flesh toned bandage wrap covered by skin colored fishnets because you will cover the wound no matter how deep it is. No one ever knew and baby, that's show business for you. Okay, so the first poem. Drops us right into a moment, waking up after a late night, probably a concert, and preparing for the next one. You wake up branded with the lines of pillow greases thunder, bolted tree roots across your cheek, and turn last night's mascara stains, the ivory hotel pillowcase. So branding, I mean that, that's a scar. So right away we've got this motif of scars something we hear about in canceled, the ones with matching scars. So even though the lines of pillow creases from sleeping so hard will go away, and it makes us think of other scars that don't go away that will last forever. And we also get this imagery of a war. because that next line says, looks like you're even, so there's this, play on the idea of the pillow creases marking you, you know, wounding scarring you, but you also scarred the pillow. So there's this battle, this tension there, even in a playful way. You say good morning to them when you walk in and they don't correct you. It's such a great line because it immediately, without telling us. Shows us that it is not morning, it is afternoon. So she had a very, very late night. But to her it feels like morning. And I think that's really powerful because it helps us understand how disorienting this life is. How you know, night is day and up is down, and what's normal for most people is no longer normal for her. Also very indirect, but maybe still in a, still a reference to the idea of sleepless nights that she doesn't sleep at night because she's performing and then she's too hyped up to sleep. So she's sleeping during the day. And then she talks about the tricks of the trade, how to clean costumes and how specifically to cover wounds. Scars, I'm imagining also blisters here. We hear about that in another poem, but how to cover up wounds that are caused by this life of performance. But no matter how deep it is, it's always covered up so that it looks seamless. So they'll never know. But importantly here, she says, no one ever knew everything here is in present tense except for this line. No matter how deep it is, no one ever knew. So that gives a sense that she's not talking only about these physical wounds that she is dealing with right now, that she needs to cover up before the next performance. But also about wounds that have occurred in the past, that this has happened over and over in her life. there's a little bit of a sense of pride that no one has ever known. Which is interesting because her songs are so confessional, right? Like we know a lot about the things that have hurt her and, and that she has felt very hurt. But this gives us a sense that we don't know the full story. That there's even more that she has not shared with us. And then she ends with, and baby, that's show business for you very much like the title track of the album. Like this is The Life of a Showgirl covering up. Your pain, hiding your pain with lipstick and lace, as we hear in that final song on the album. So to me, this almost makes it feel like these poems are meant to be an epilogue. I had talked about the final track on the album functioning almost as an epilogue, and these poems, I think, take that one step further. Can't really have two epilogues, but maybe they're both part of the epilogue. I don't know. But this first poem is very reminiscent to me of that final track on the album, which is focused on, Hey, the life of a showgirl isn't all glamor and excitement. It's also hard, exhausting work and. A lot of pain that you cannot show no matter what. You've got to show up on stage the next night with a smile and a perfect exterior, because your job is to provide a fantasy, to provide that facade of beauty and glamor and excitement and happiness to transport your audience out of themselves and away from their problems. For however long your show lasts. Now, this poem doesn't entirely tell us whether she's glad, you know, how she feels about this. We know from the last truck on the album that she feels like it was worth it, but we don't know that from this first poem so much like the album itself. This poem does introduce that question, this first poem is maybe we'd say measured. It's not joyful or enthusiastic. It's pretty straightforward. You can sense the exhaustion that Underlies this otherwise normal morning slash afternoon for her. Like this is a, is a normal day. Yet she's very aware that this is not normal for most people. So we'll have to continue through the poems in order to find out how she actually feels about this life that she's chosen. Alright, let's move to our second poem. Here we go. Coffee stretch piano keys. Vocal warmups in a locker room, shower eyelash, glue, a photo of him on the mirror, sweat and vanilla perfume, the cracking of joints and the distant beat of a drum. The monotonous thrill of it all. Plan it out so it doesn't look planned. 10 different backup plans. If your red bottom heel breaks, you will keep strutting balancing on the balls of your blistered feet. Know your exits. Shoulders back, eyes up. Hit your marks, your winks sparks. Tell them a story like it's an intimate dinner party. The looks on their wondrous faces, their expressions like mood rings. Isn't it all so majestic? Of course it is. It's a lot of other things too. The second poem starts with a list. A list of what she does or what she encounters as she's preparing for a performance. The day of the first two thirds. It reads as a list of facts basically, but by the last third, it turns into an imperative. a command, a list of instructions, hit your marks. She's telling herself what she needs to do, what she needs to remember as we hear about in the next poem. so it could be that the first two thirds of the poem are also meant to be a list of things to do and remember. starting with coffee, stretching piano keys. So she is maybe playing a little bit of piano, vocal warmups, gluing on the false eyelashes. We've got this little. Tidbit of a photo of him on the mirror. We saw that in the F of Velia music video. But for me, it brings in that subplot of a love story, which we'll hear about in poem number five. She does a great job here of bringing in sensory details, including scent, sweat, and vanilla Perfume. Coffee brings in the sense of taste, the cracking of joints brings in kinesthetic sense of something that you feel inside your body. This is something that we talked about in my write like Taylor Swift workshop about how Taylor is able to set the scene and immerse her listeners or readers into a moment where we feel like we're there with her. It's primarily by using such well chosen precise sensory details called imagery. And if you'd like to learn more about that, you can still grab the replay for the right, like Taylor Swift work. at the link in the show notes, the distant beat of a drum makes me think of a battle again, maybe it's just that I've spent a while studying the Civil War, but the beat of a drum has this sense of calling you to a battle, like calling you out to fight like this ominous sense. The curtain call, the monotonous thrill of it all. The monotonous thrill is probably my favorite phrase from this poem, maybe from all of the poems. It's a wonderful juxtaposition, a contrast. So monotonous is the opposite of a thrill. Monotonous is like over and over and over, and it gets boring versus thrill, which is obviously the opposite of boring. How can it be a monotonous thrill? It makes us think about this. So maybe this is the paradox of the showgirl life that you're creating, an experiencing thrill. Over and over and over. as we see in the rest of the poem, this thrill is the result of careful planning and many rehearsals and really specific decisions that she makes in order to connect with her audience and provide them with that thrill. And of course, if you're a great performer, while you're going to give the appearance of being thrilled, whether you feel it or not, most of the time, especially if you love it, you are going to feel that thrill. That's the high that a performer experiences. That can make it so addicting is, you know, our emotions are contagious. And when you have thousands or hundreds of thousands of people in ecstasy because of your performance, it's impossible not to absorb that. And yet doing it over and over again might become monotonous in its own way. Hit your marks, your winks, sparks. I love the internal rhyme there. Tell them a story like it's an intimate dinner party. This really speaks to her desire to connect with her fans. If you listen to my previous episode, the interview towards the end, we talked about the difference between. A performance that is performative and one that is relational. And I think this line really emphasizes that relational aspect, at least certainly for how the fans experience it. And said it's about connecting, about creating intimacy, making them feel like they're, not maybe alone with you, but part of a very select small group who's connecting with you in an authentic way. And yet none of this is authentic in a larger sense. So there's this constant tension, this contradiction, the looks on their wondrous faces, isn't it all So majestic question mark. It's like she's. Asking herself, or, you know, it's a rhetorical question, but I almost hear it as she's exhausted. Maybe this is towards the end of her two year ERAS tour, you know, and she's like, come on, isn't it also Majestic? Like, come on. Like remember like, this is, you love this? And she's like, yes, of course it is. It is majestic. It's also a lot of other things too. And it's a powerful last line because, it doesn't give a sense of completion to this poem. Like some of the lines have rhymed. there's also no period at the end of this line. So it's kind of just like, yeah, well, yes, but it's also a lot of other things it's not just that. And I'm not gonna pretend that it is. I think this poem adds to our understanding of the album by providing a sense of how much thought and detail and intentionality goes into her performances. So, you know, the songs are never specifically about the performances on the album. They're never about that experience. They're about her emotional life. You know, behind the scenes. But this poem really shows us that it requires a lot from her. and it continues that motif we had from the first poem of a sense of it being a war. But in this poem, it's really more of a war against herself. And I don't think it's quite so violent is all that, but just an internal conflict of every performance perhaps, or most performances have this sense of internal struggle of I want to make this magical for my audience and it'd be great if it felt magical to me, but a lot of times it doesn't. But I'm gonna do it anyway. And sometimes it's really hard. if we've listened to the album, we have an idea of what makes it so hard beyond just the physical, emotional demands on the day of the performance. We also know about the cancel culture and the. Gossip and the struggles with the father figure mentor manipulator person. But within this poem, all we know so far is that she has some wounds that she has to cover up. But beyond the physical wounds, you know, the blisters, we don't really have a great idea yet. What might be causing the emotional wounds? We will start to get a hint of it in the next poem, All right, so here's the third poem. Number three. Remember this city, you've been here before in another life, on another tour. Remember her? She's got a mortgage now, straight teeth where there'd been metal brackets standing with her 8-year-old daughter you mouth. I know you in the millisecond gap in your choreography to you. She will look exactly the same age as when you first saw her. She will always be 14 and a half. Remember? Look right back into the footwork. Any missed step is a misstep. You must remember everything, but mostly this. The crowd is your king who has ruled over you for centuries, benevolently for the most part. This third poem gives us her experience on stage during one of her concerts where she sees a woman that she recognizes from one of her early concerts. Now, this woman has an 8-year-old daughter, but when Taylor, when the showgirl first saw her, she was only 14 and a half. So we know that Taylor's been releasing albums for 20 years now, so we can probably guess that this is something like a 20 year gap, long enough for the 14-year-old to turn it into adult and have a child, and have that child be eight years old. But another cool detail here is that Taylor herself was 14 and a half when she signed her first record deal. Now the line says she will always be 14 and a half. So she is talking about this woman that she sees in the crowd standing with her 8-year-old daughter. We know Taylor does not have an 8-year-old daughter. But there's also a sense in which Taylor's maybe talking to herself here. remember her at 14 and a half. Remember who you were at 14 and a half. remember why you decided to do this in the first place. Remember how badly you wanted this and enjoy it now that you're living the dream that 14 and a half year old girl, I mean, we know that Taylor's success has at this point grown far beyond what I think anyone could have dreamed including her. I don't know. She's got some big dreams, but still like to be compared to the Beatles with the level of. Super stardom and critical acclaim, though perhaps she deserves more than she's received is just incredible. But I certainly know from personal experience that arriving at a goal is always anticlimactic. We always think, oh, if I just have this, if I just achieve this, if I just, you know, publish my novel, and if people just like it or I sell this many copies, or, you know, whatever the thing is, whatever the metric is, if we achieve it, It's exciting, but it's never as exciting as we think it's going to be. It still leaves us with the same doubts or struggles that we already had before. It doesn't actually solve anything because we always want more. we're always setting the next goal or moving the goal post. So she's saying, you know, remember, this is what you dream of. Enjoy it. So she says, remember with an exclamation point, and then she says, lock right back into the footwork. Any missed step is a misstep. And at first I thought, well, that seems kind of repetitive. Is it just sort of word play with, you know, her auditory techniques there? But then she says, you must remember everything, but mostly this with a colon. The crowd is your king. Who has ruled over you for centuries? Benevolently for the most part. So when she says any misstep is a misstep, she's not just talking about, you know, a stumble or missing a step in the choreography. She's talking about bigger offstage missteps. The crowd is your king. It rules over you. This, of course, reminds me of the lyric and the fate of Ophelia. wrap around me like a chain, a crown, a vine. Well, here we find out actually she's not wearing the crown, the crowd is wearing the crown because the crowd is king. The crowd is ruling over her and they have for centuries kind of a reference to the showgirl throughout time. not just this showgirl, but also maybe it feels like centuries. you are subject to their whims. Which we see more of in the next poem and get that hint of in the last line of this one where she says they've ruled over you for centuries, benevolently, and then on the next line. For the most part, it's mostly been great. Benevolent means kind, but not all. It hasn't all been great. It hasn't always been kind putting that line here at the end, it kind of juxtaposes this idea of the crowd being in control with the sense of power that she has on stage. So you know, she is creating this wondrous experience for her fans, for her audience, and. There's a sense of power there that she has so much control to elicit emotions in them. But she's saying, don't forget you're not in charge. Ultimately, like this experience is actually much more determined by them than you. They could take this away at any moment because what brings her joy, what brings her the most joy in life is performing. But you can't perform if you don't have an audience that's just rehearsal. So in a sense, she, you know, it's a, it's a very vulnerable life because unlike say, even the songwriting aspect of her life. Which she can do independent of anyone's reception. The performance aspect is dependent on their presence and their enjoyment. So, so this reminder is perhaps adding to our understanding of what makes this life so exhausting. Don't forget for a minute that they could take this all away in a second. So you need to be really careful about the way you design and deliver your performance, but you also need to be very careful about what you do and say off stage, which we hear more about in the next poem. Okay, here's poem number four. perhaps someday they will despise you again. Perhaps it is not a matter of if, but when. They'll reassess your merits and then take a magnifying glass to the shiny bug. Deflate all those heroes they had decided she was, and maybe they'll do it just because, but you live by a strict code. Never believe your own mythology. Never type your name into the search bar. Let the wolves howl all they want. The moon should never howl. You know, if you play, it's a losing game. so you keep yourself too busy to ever learn what's their name's, name, and these are the reasons you are still somewhat sane. poem number four takes us behind the scenes again to this ever present threat of cancellation, that at any moment they could decide to despise you. Again, this has happened before and it might happen again. And then she says in the second line, perhaps it is not a matter of if, but when, like perhaps it's inevitable. So. That's another thing she should not forget. She must remember this could happen again, and it's actually pretty likely this adoration you're feeling right now could disappear in an instant. They will deflate all the blown up heroic images of you that they have created, you know, idolizing you, and they'll decide you're just a shiny bug that they can pin to the wall with a literal push pin, stab through the heart and inspect, take a magnifying glass to it. Shiny bug is a weird. Word, a weird term there, but, you know, it's shiny. It's maybe pretty, it's sparkling and sequined, but ultimately it's a bug that we can squash anytime we feel like it. And no one considers it unethical to, you know, take a bug or a butterfly or something and, you know, pin it on the wall as a specimen. So there's an objectification here that she's articulating, and they might do it just because, for no reason, for nothing. You actually did, but you live by a strict code. Never believe your own mythology. I love that word, because of course she plays with, literary allusions to other myths in her songs. But she's saying here that myths have been created about her. That people have all these theories about who she is and what things mean. But she says, don't get sucked in. Don't believe it. Don't even type your name into the search bar. And then this imagery of wolves howling at the moon, but the moon should never howl back. It's a really powerful metaphor because she is the moon, you know, she's so far above the earth. There's this sense of isolation, but also. Adoration and longing. And it would be not only impossible, but ridiculous for the moon to howl back. Like the moon is so far removed from these wolves it might notice that they're howling, but it would be absurd for it to respond in kind you know, if you play, it's a losing game. This references stuff about playing the game, manipulation, deception that we hear about in the album itself. And then definitely the line from the title track where she says, the more that you play, the more that you pay. So here she's saying, don't engage. No matter how it turns out, you will lose. There's no way to win at this game of public opinion. So keep yourself too busy to even learn the names of whoever it is that's howling about you. and knowing that is why you're still somewhat sane, which has a, um, I think they call it a, a slant rhyme where it doesn't quite rhyme, but the vowels rhyme. So name and sane in a song that would work as a rhyme.'cause you don't hear the consonants nearly as much as the. Vowels'cause you're drawing them out in song. So she does rhyme here at the end of this poem and it has a period. So there's this sense of like, this is why you're sane. There's a rest, a conclusion there at the end of this, but only somewhat sane. I think this poem in particular gives us some important, useful context for the song actually romantic, which is where perhaps she was howling back, the moon was howling back and that was a mistake. That's how I interpret it in my analysis. I see that as her low point that she doesn't quite realize when she's singing that song. But then in wishlist you hear her wanting to escape all of it because she made this mistake, she started playing the game and it didn't work out well. You know, my analysis is probably the public reception wasn't as great as she thought it would be. And also she didn't like that feeling. She didn't like who it made her become in order to clap back in that way. And this also supports my theory that the character arc in the Life of Shit Girl the album is focused on her journey from really caring about what the public says and thinks about her to not caring at all. To saying, you know what, I can't control that. And when I try, it actually backfires. So I'm gonna live my life. I'm going to perform, I'm going to connect with my fans, but I'm not gonna expect it always to last, and I'm not gonna place my self worth in that. I'm going to focus on the relationships that occur off stage, and I'm gonna enjoy the journey as much as I can, which is definitely reemphasized at the end of this set of poems and in the next poem, we get a look specifically at the primary relationship that is now providing her a sense of connection and authenticity that she can never get from her fans as great as they are Okay. Poem number five. He ran to his car from work to catch the flight, missed the first act, but somehow it's better this way. It's just right because you get to watch him make his way through the masses. Parting the crowd like some neon Moses in a sequin c. He is a magnet and a trampoline. The tiny bubbles in champagne. Haphazard but precise. He crashed, landed next to you reckless, but never with your heart. if he's in, you are too. You've begun to feel that every song before was just a prayer, a wishlist. He is not what you've been waiting for. He is more why you held out, why you left, and nothing aches. Suddenly He has that effect. so poem number four is explicitly about Travis. Apparently he did miss the first act. Of one of the shows that he attended and, joined part of the way through and apparently ran to his car after whatever he had to do beforehand. But there's also a metaphorical sense in which he missed the first act of her adult life, of her career, perhaps, she's been doing this for almost 20 years before he comes into the picture, but she says somehow it's better this way. I think there's a double meaning here that you can. Applied through the first half of this poem where he's making his way through the masses, parting the crowd of her fans at this one specific concert. But he's also done that in a larger way in her life. You know, it's better this way that he's coming now this late in her life, and we hear towards the end of the poem that she says he is more why you held out, why you left. And I get the sense that she appreciates him so much more because of all the failed relationships that she had to survive to get to this point. He's not what you've been waiting for. He's more so she has been waiting. She believed in this Romeo to her Juliet, although I don't really like that reference because. Romeo really wasn't all that great in my opinion, but that fantasy of what Romeo could have been, what Juliet imagined Romeo to be, that she had started to lose hope in ever finding that maybe this kind of guy didn't exist. And then he came, he parted the sea of melancholy and, you know, failed relationships and objectifying boyfriends like some neon Moses. And this brings in the idea of rescue again. So Moses is a biblical figure from the Old Testament who, rescues his people from. Slavery in Egypt and they have to flee. They're being chased by the army and he parts the Red Sea, in a miracle so that they can escape and the Red Sea closes behind them and destroys the army. We don't have a sense in this poem that there's any kind of destruction in the wake of this parting, but we do get that sense of a rescue that he has rescued her, which references the fate of Ophelia but we shouldn't miss that. There is also a sense of her agency that she's been waiting for this for a long time. It's why she held out and why she left the boyfriends that didn't treat her well. So had she not done those things. He would not be able to rescue her at this point. And then I like this line, he is a magnet and a trampoline, so he's magnetic drawing her towards him, like she can't not look at him. But then he doesn't just pull her in and consume her. He pulls her in and then she bounces off, bigger and brighter and much more joyful than she would have been without this contact. The tiny bubbles in champagne. So he's effervescent this sense that he, lights her up inside haphazard, but precise. He crash, landed next to you reckless, but never with your heart. So He came in with a crash that it was, it felt sudden. and he was maybe reckless in his pursuit of her, but he's never reckless with her emotions. Something we get a sense of in honey. Of course, this poem reminds me the most of honey. interesting that honey and champagne are both things that you can consume, eat, or drink. honey is a bit healthier, maybe a bit more nutritious, but, compared to other metaphors like Fire, as I discuss in the episode I did on Honey, fire as a metaphor for love is unpredictable and destructive, whereas honey is. Slow and steady and nutritious, and even healing champagne. Not quite so much, but it's exciting and it's fun and it feels like a luxury and it's also almost certainly a reference to her song Champagne Problems, which was very sad about a relationship ending and how awful that felt. So we've got that contrast here that now champagne is becoming a very positive metaphor, perhaps echoing the reclamation that happens in Honey, where those pet names are reclaimed for their original meaning as terms of endearment. Then she's begun to feel that every song before was just a prayer, a wishlist, obviously a reference to the song wishlist. You know, he is what she had been praying for and wishing for, but he's even more than that. this is maybe reading a little bit into the text, but I see this as confirmation that the song wishlist is not about him in the sense that she had already found him. Like, yes, of course there's a sense in which she probably wrote that thinking about all of this, and that she knew that she had already found him. She wrote it after she had met him and fallen in love and maybe gotten engaged. but in the arc of the album, I don't think that song was meant to. Indicate that she had found the person that she just, you know, I just want you rather, she wanted to escape her public life and have intimacy, have true intimacy, emotional intimacy, and sort of a more normal life with this idealized guy that she hadn't met yet. And now in real life, she has met him and he's even better than what she ever imagined could even be support for the idea that, you know, maybe one of the ways that he's even better is that he definitely did not require her to abandon her career in order to, you know, be a stay at home mom or something like that. both, in this poem with the enthusiasm with which he attends her concert. And also in the little bit of real life interviews and commentary that I've seen, like he loves that she's such a powerhouse, that she's this incredible legendary performer and artist, and he wouldn't want her to be any different. So the poem ends with, and nothing aches. Suddenly he has that effect. So the wounds that we've been hearing about in this series of poems, they haven't disappeared, but they don't hurt. Now he has this analgesic quality, so like, um, anesthesia, you know, like a numbing effect on the pain, but clearly not numbing on other things, What I love about this poem is that it's not like, oh, I go on stage and I perform, and then I get to go home to him, and then I feel good he's there. He's part of the performance. And then I read something that like he went on stage and danced with the dancers and some of the concerts or something, but there's this congruence, this, melding of her love life and her life as a showgirl that he meets her there literally in the concert, literally on stage with her. He shares that spotlight and he makes her performance better. He's the opposite of a performance. She doesn't have to perform with him, and yet he makes her performances better. I think that is probably what makes him more than what she could have ever imagined, and that's a pretty awesome moment. Alright, let's look at our last poem in this series Tonight, all these lives converge here. The mosaics of laughter and cocktails of tears, where fraternal souls sing identical things and it's beautiful. It's rapturous, it is frightening. It's worth everything it has cost you. And even at your darkest or drunkest, you wouldn't say any different, would you? You would choose all of it again, no matter how the story ends with the ugliest booze or the loveliest bouquet, They say that love is a choice you make every single day, and that is how you love the life of a showgirl. Okay, so this sixth poem provides a sense of conclusion, much like the title track on the album did, telling us it has all been worth it, but it also adds some important, and I think really beautiful nuance to what we get in the song. It begins tonight. All of these lives converge here. So all of the lives of her fans, but also her multiple lives, you know, the 14-year-old self, the current self. Also her lover, you know, Travis, maybe even the haters that are out there, they all converged here in this concert. Perhaps, I think this works really well. Thinking of it as maybe, something that she's writing or thinking right before her last concert of the ERAS tour. Who knows? Or maybe it's any night that she has a concert, but all of those lives converge here. The mosaics of laughter and cocktails of tears, love those images. Cocktails of tears is an interesting contrast with the champagne reference in the previous poem, and it's where fraternal souls sing identical things. fraternal means like brotherly, but it can also imply sisterly. So these souls, her fans that are made into a community. And that's another thing that. I've recently been learning more is that there is this sense of sisterhood and connection among Swifties and We saw this in the first episode of the docuseries, that part of the reason people wanted to go to the concerts was to be around other swifties. They would come hours before and trade friendship bracelets and make friends. And that really speaks volumes about the person behind that kind of community, the person around whom that kind of community can be formed. So whatever else you think about Taylor Swift, that really says something, but anyway, here in this poem, she's saying those souls become a family. By singing these lyrics together and it's beautiful. It's rapturous, it's like transported to you to another world. It is also frightening. Well, what's frightening here? I think maybe the sense of power, um, the idea that it could all disappear. you know that so much of their happiness depends on you. It's worth everything. It has cost you. And even in your darkest or drunkest, which might be the same things, you wouldn't say anything different. Then she has this question, would you like? Right? It's an interesting moment of doubt. You would choose all of it again, even if this ends with disgrace, the ugliest booze or the loveliest bouquet. Thank you for the lovely bouquet. Not to the title track on the album and then. The most important line of all the poems, the last one, and such a wonderful deepening of the idea. You hear in the last track. They say that love is a choice you make every single day, and that is how you love the life of a showgirl. To me, this is an obvious nod to the line in the life of a showgirl where she says, I'm married to the hustle. So as someone who's been married herself for 17 years now, love is not just a feeling. In fact, more of the time, it's a choice and you have to make that choice every single day. The choice to love your spouse, to love the life you have. And that is the choice she has to make in order to love this life she's chosen. So I think this poem really powerfully emphasizes the narrative arc for her character that I mentioned in my analysis on that last track, that she has gone from someone who feels buffeted by the winds, the storms, lightning strikes, right, of this rollercoaster life that she's found herself in, where she is got these super high highs and these super low lows, and she's starting to lose track of who she is, and she doesn't know if she can trust anyone. She's moved from that to this more grounded sense where she understands that she can't control any of that, and all she can do is enjoy it when it's good and stay too busy to really notice it when it's bad and, and focus on what she can control, which is who she spends time with, who she gives her heart to, and the journey, the performance itself. She can delight in her craft. She can delight. In using her talents and being the best or really, really great at what she does, and she can remember how badly she wanted to be here when she was 14, and appreciate all that she's accomplished despite the pain, despite the cost. And isn't that what we all have to do? You know, one of the criticisms this album has received is that it's not relatable. Like, oh, it's just a billionaire singing about how hard it is to be her or whatever, But I think she does a really great job of connecting that very personal and, you know, very 0.1% experience to something much more universal, which is another thing that we talk about in, right, like Taylor Swift, It's really stood out to me that she said on, I think the Jimmy Fallon interview. You know, we all have a public life now, and I think especially for any kind of artist or creator, we all experience these tensions. You know, I definitely don't wanna be a showgirl, but I dream of receiving some public acclaim for my novel. Well, the more of that that I experience, the more of this other stuff I'm gonna experience and I need to prepare for that. Even my little experience with fame of going viral on social media has taught me that Even at this little tiny micro level, there were parts of it that were hard where I got, you know, mean comments and you know, worried that people were gonna call me racist, which some of'em did. Or, you know, whatever other terrible things. And that, you know, who knows that could be what people end up focusing on. You know, it's just like, it's complicated and the only way to live and especially the only way to create, is to stay true to ourselves. And that takes work, daily work of who am I and what matters. And you know, I want to give you guys the kinds of episodes that you want, the kinds of videos that you want, but I also need to remember who I am and protect my own capacity and, uh, make sure that I am. Building something that I want to live in. I'm building a life that I want to inhabit. And the same would be true for anyone listening, So I'd love to know what you think. if your impressions were any different the first time that you read through these poems, or if anything else came up as you were listening to my analysis, And I do have one bonus writing prompt for you. This is not inspired directly from these poems, but I wanted to share it nonetheless. It's something that came to me in the last week or so. I thought it would be really fun if you take one of the songs from the album and write it out like it's a full scene or story. So use the words from the lyrics, but then add to them filling it in with complete sentences to make it read like prose rather than poetry. Now keep in mind, you can't publish and receive payment for something that contains someone else's lyrics. But this could be a great exercise that you could share online without monetizing it and with clear attribution to Taylor's original song. Kind of like fan fiction, So pick one of the songs, maybe your favorite, or just the one you think is most interesting and I would put the lyrics in my document, and then I would just start filling in the gaps, you know, set the scene, use some of that vivid imagery we've been talking about, in my right, like Taylor Swift workshop. And then, you know, develop your characters, add some dialogue, show us what the person she's talking to says in response. Or you know, what happens both between the lines and after the song ends, perhaps. If you do it, I would love to see what you write if you end up sharing it anywhere. So definitely let me know. Now, before we wrap up today, I wanna make sure that you know that there is one more bonus episode coming your way on Friday. It is an interview with someone whose post I saw on social media way back in October, shortly after the album came out about how the album, reveals Taylor's growth throughout all 12 of her albums. she incorporated some internal family systems dynamics She's a mental health practitioner of sorts. I think it's gonna be a really, really interesting final episode and I highly encourage you to come back and listen on Friday. And last, I'll mention one more time that the replay for write like Taylor Swift, my 90 minute writing workshop is available for purchase. You can go to mara eller.com/write like Taylor to sign up today and get that replay along with. My slides and a PDF tip sheet where you can keep track of all the main ideas and take some notes. You'll get all of that right in your inbox so you can start using Taylor's most powerful writing strategies in your own writing, and also just enjoy diving into some of the lines from her other songs as well, and developing even more of an appreciation for her lyrical genius. And that is it for today's lesson. If you're loving these deep dives. Make sure to follow the podcast or come join the discussion on social media. My links are in the show notes. I'd love to hear your questions, comments, and insights. Class is always about bringing you into the conversation, helping you to do your own thinking and come to your own conclusions, so I'd love to see you involved. Until next time, class dismissed.