Episode 42: On The One-Day Cup

Welcome back to The Sunday Service!

This week, we hear the latest tales from the Parish XI as they played a thriller against the Fellows of Farting Fallows, which went down to the final ball.

WG Rumblepants gives his 'Cricket in 3' on the festival feel of the One-Day Cup, and Mr Gompertz reads from 'The Good Book' on the young man who discovered the One-Day Cup due to the absence of Test Match cricket.

And finally, our good friends at Newberry Cricket have another terrific competition, this week giving away their brand new 360 cricket shoes.

Check out all of their top equipment here

To enter, just answer the question correctly and send it in to:

- sundayservicecricket@gmail.com

- Twitter / X - @sundayservice22

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:10

Ah, good morning, Mr.

SPEAKER_05 0:12

Church. Good to see you again as always.

SPEAKER_01 0:17

I greatly enjoyed being back at the Oval with you on Wednesday. Always a treat. What a crowd as well. It was a proper day's cricket. Anyway, how have things been with you since then?

SPEAKER_05 0:28

It's been another busy cricketing week. This week, George, another initiative brought by myself to the parish. Last week, of course, it was Bat and Jat. This week, Stool and Ball. Allow me to explain. I sat on the parish green on a stool that I brought myself and brought my own ball of a cricketing variety. And then parishioners would come and join me, bringing their own stools to sit upon, and bringing their own balls. And we would sit on our stalls and look at our balls and discuss what they would like to do with their balls. One in particular was with me for I would say young George, an hour, an hour and a half, and that was of course Rich, our opening bowler from the Parish Eleven, who sat with me on his own stall and discussed how he would like to improve his away swing. So we discussed seams holding our balls and wrist positions holding our balls. But I have to say, Reg then fell off his stool due to the fact that as always he had been in the Badgers Googly, I think for the three and a half hours before he came to join me. But I would say, George, ball and stall has been very, very successful. Now, what have you been up to?

SPEAKER_01 1:45

It's been another busy week. After the excitement of the Parish Eleven match, I decided to spend some time with the ladies of the Women's Institute during the week. I took them to the local golf club where the club professional Mr. Wedge, although I'm still not sure if that's his real name or not, led the golfing clinic. There was no driving range, which meant that the ladies all lined up on the first tea box and hit their balls into the trees which separate the 18th Fairway from the first fairway. When a pair came up the 18th Fairway, Mr. Wedge shouted, Hold fire, as the two poor blokes sifted through thirty balls on the fairway before they found their own. Mr. Wedge then took the ladies into the bunker to practice getting out of the sand. He said everybody should hit ten balls out of the bunker and then hand over to the next person. It was a great concept, but he hadn't accounted for Mrs. Shelley's ability or lack thereof. She hogged the whole practice as she repeatedly hit the ball into the lip of the bunker and watched it roll right back to her feet. The clinic ended with hitting the driver. I was watching on from what I assumed to be the safety of the terrace with a drink in hand, but I had to take refuge inside soon after a ball slammed into the wooden fence in front of me, and all the ladies craned their necks in unison to see where the ball went. Then, to my surprise, they all started cheering and enthusiastically congratulated Mrs. Watts on what they decided was a terrific shot. We all got in the money bus to set off home when we realized that Mrs. Shelley wasn't there. I looked back at the course and saw sand flying everywhere, with no sight of a ball being hit, so I concluded that she was still stuck in the bunker. Anyway. Is everything sorted for today's service?

SPEAKER_05 3:33

Yes, I've prepared my sermon, and this week I'm telling the congregation about what happened in our game, which you were at, of course, against the fishmongers of farting fellows, and let me tell you, as you know, George, it was a thriller. And I hope you'll be giving us a reading.

SPEAKER_01 3:52

Oh yes, of course I will. This week is all about the young man who discovered the beauty of the one day cup in the absence of a test cricket. Ah, good morning, Mrs. Shelley. Lovely to see you again. Oh no, don't worry about the sand. I'll sweep it up after the service. Just go and take your seat. There's yes, yes, just next to Mrs. Bartholomew, second row on the left. There you go. Yes. Lovely to see you.

SPEAKER_05 4:24

My apologies, young George, but I must take this call. Hello, this is Boycott Vicarage Helpline. Hello! Hello. Oh, hello there. Now I'm a keen gardener, and I'm very proud, very proud, I must say, of the way my lawn and flower beds look. However, I have been struggling with this hot weather. Oh yes, it has been very difficult for gardeners, hasn't it? Well it certainly has. And I've been working very hard, very hard, walking back and forth to and from my tap with my watering can so that I can look after my plants. But then, then, then, I looked over the fence, and I saw my neighbor using a pipe of the hose variety, and I don't know whether I should confront him about it or not. What is your advice? Well, as the good book says, run the first one hard and then, and only then, you may assess whether a second run is available. Right. Okay. I hope that answers your question. Uh sort of. Excellent. I'm very happy to help. Goodbye. Uh yes, uh, thank you. Uh goodbye.

SPEAKER_01 5:58

Yes, the good book is always a safe place to turn with a call like that.

SPEAKER_05 6:03

Sorry about that, George. Right, where were we?

SPEAKER_01 6:06

Well, I was just telling you about my reading that I'll give on the One Day Cup, and I was gonna ask you if WG Rumblepants is giving his address as usual.

SPEAKER_05 6:14

Oh yes. This week WG's speaking about the festival feel of the One Day Cup. And we'll be inviting members of the congregation to come to the front and provide their answers to this week's cricketing question for their chance to win a brand new pair of 360 cricket spikes thanks to our friends from the parish of Newbury.

SPEAKER_01 6:34

Oh, I'll tell you what, Churchy, I'm looking forward to the hymn again this week. I've got to say, members of the congregation loved them last week, so I'm hoping we get lots of people singing along again.

SPEAKER_05 6:46

Marvellous. I look forward to it. Oh, good morning, Rex! Oh, Rex, tremendous shoes you're wearing today. The Newbury 360 cricket shoes are looking very good. But Rex, I've never seen anybody wear them to church before, but well done to you. I'm sure the pinballs will stop you sliding around on the tile floor. Right, Rex. Yes, they look excellent. Could you could you take your seat now, Rex, please? Thank you, thank you, because we'll be starting very soon.

SPEAKER_01 7:19

Right then, Churchy, the music started, and even Rex has now taken his seat, so I think it's best we get ready to start the Sunday service.

SPEAKER_05 7:59

I trust your cricketing week has seen you all using the first power play wisely, consolidating in the second power play, and accelerating in the third power play. It's an excellent theory, and one I'm trying to bring into everyday parish life. Welcome once again to the Sunday service. Thank you very much for getting out of bed, putting on your finest, and joining together this morning. Well, the hundred continues, the one day cup continues, as does life. In the grand scheme of things, no big news is normally good news. Rickleton, Marsh, Brooke and Lawrence hit the highest ever total in a hundred ball match on Tuesday. The highest ever total in all of that competition's very long and storied history. I wonder if they sheepishly sung their famous song from their song sheets once again this week. And talking of sheepishly singing tunes from song sheets, if you look in the pockets on the back of your pew in front of you, you will find a copy of the good book and the order of service. For those of you who are listening to this service back on the recording, you can find a digital order of service posted on our Twitter account at Sunday Service22. You will also find a copy of your hymn book, so I now invite you all to stand as we sing our first hymn, Amazing Grace. It has been another extremely busy week. I will start with last Sunday if you'll allow me. I'm getting a nod from the front row, so I thank you all, especially you, Mrs. Jackson. I returned to the parish after spending the day in Chelfordshire Shire, and after a quick cup of tea at Boycott Vicarage, made my way to the Badgers Googly. I was greeted by the sight of Ted delivering his scampy suppers to the beer garden, where many of you were situated alongside the Parish Eleven and the Fishmongers of Farting Fallows. Because of course that very afternoon the Parish 11's game had taken place, and I must say, as many of you will remember, and many of you won't, because you were partaking in Tonyx and Gin again, the atmosphere in the beer garden was one that I can only describe as electric. Having found Mr. Gombert, I was informed the game had ended in a tie. I could hardly believe my ears. The Parish Eleven have never been involved in a tied match before, and the story of the game unfolded in front of me. The Mongers had won the toss and decided to bat first on a glorious afternoon. Reg, who is with us this morning, please don't all turn around, because he is fast asleep at the back of the church, bawled a spell down the slope that I was told was reminiscent of Alan Donald in his pomp. Now, whether Alan Donald was full of our local brew, I do not know, but Reg definitely was. Sexy Rex told me the ball was hitting his gloves extremely hard. I did point out to Rex that he has never actually laid a glove on a delivery in his whole career behind the stumps, but it sounded like Rex was not actually required, as Reg, our very own white lightning, ironically a drink Reg used to consume an awful lot in the 1980s, dismantled the Mungers top order. In fact, I was told by many of the Mungers' batters he simply blew them away. One of the Mungers informed me that Reg's run-up was simply terrifying as he charged down the hill, released a missile, and his follow-through took him past the batter whose stumps had been demolished, past Sexy Rex, and then he promptly fell over. Reg kept repeating this, and in his first four overs he took five wickets and the Mungers said they'd never seen anything like it. They limped like an overweight cod to 20 for 5, but Reg then fell asleep at long leg and could not be roused. Not to worry. Mr. Peters came on with his non-spinning off brakes, and the Mungers told me his flight and guile was in stark contrast to Reg's raw pace. As an aside, Mr. Gomberts told me Mr. Peters' flight and guile was so good that none of his deliveries actually landed on the cut strip, but the Mungers were bamboozled. They either tried to launch one of his, as Mr. Peters described it, deliveries about the batter's eye line, out of the ground, but only found one of our fielders, or ran straight past it, and on three occasions the ball sailed over their heads and landed on top of the stumps. And glory be, on one occasion, the delivery from Mr. Peters soared over the batter's head, hit sexy Rex standing up flush on his forehead, rebounded onto the stumps, and good old Iron Gloves had completed the stumping. The Mungers found themselves 35 for 9, and the final wicket came courtesy of a run-out from Mr. Jackson, who swooped like a young Johnny Rhodes in the colours, pushed Rex out of the way because he was standing in front of the stumps for some reason, and whipped off the bales, meaning the Mongers were all out for 36, with Mr. Peters finishing with a four-four. So 37 to win, and the Parish 11 told me they were confident at the break, and the Mongers felt they'd left a few out in the middle, including Reg, who was still fast asleep at Long Leg. Anyway, our chase did not start very well when Sexy Rex attempted a forward defence first ball to a short delivery, was hit in the chest, fell over, and sat on his stumps. From there it didn't actually get much better, as the Mongers continued to pick up wickets, mainly thanks to the late inswing of Mr. Michaels, who is an expert in salmon and carp. Runs were hard to come by, but then Lusty Lionel came out to the middle and lived up to his name in a cricketing sense. I won't explain again why he is also known as Lusty in a non-cricketing sense, all I will say is he has caused me some headaches over the years. And played some lusty shots, did Lionel, and got us to within two runs of our victory target. The main issue was that we were eight down, and then one of Lionel's lusty blows went straight up in the air, and he was caught by a monger who is an expert in trout. So two to win. And our final batter, of course, was Reg. The problem was nobody could actually find him. He was in danger of being timed out, but he suddenly appeared with Ted, who'd found him behind the bar in the Badgers Googly. Reg wobbled to the middle, and everyone told me you could cut the atmosphere with a knife. I suppose a bit like deboning a fish, a conversation that I had later in the evening with a couple of the Mongers, and Reg faced up to his first ball. At the other end was Mr. Archibald, who's not renowned for his speed between the wickets. In fact, the only thing Mr. Archibald is renowned for are his prize-winning marrows, but they weren't going to help in this tense situation. The Mungers bowler hurled a delivery down at Reg, who told me he was now seeing three balls, so aimed for the middle one, and a miracle occurred. Reg hit it and set off for the run, with Mr. Archibald taking a while to get going. But going he did. The ball rolled into the covers, and they completed the first run, but the problem was Mr. Archibald was so excited that he was moving, he found it very difficult to stop. He ran, well dawdled, past the slips and just kept going. Meanwhile, Reg had fallen over at the other end, and the Mungers completed the run-out, meaning the game was tied. Mr. Gomberts told me it was the only time he'd seen a match end, with one batter flat on his face at one end and the other batter still moving very slowly towards the boundary rope, but all agreed it was a magnificent game for the purist. The rest of the evening was spent eating Ted Scampi and discussing fishmongering and parish life, and it was a marvellous evening. Monday and Tuesday were spent attending to parish affairs, including a meeting of the parish council, where it has been decided that parishioners can use the parish pond to fill their buckets with water to do their gardens due to the banning of the hose pipe in this hot weather. A very wise decision, but I do hope some rain comes soon because all week there has been a queue of parishioners with their buckets, and I don't want it affecting Mr. Gomberts' windsurfing glasses. Wednesday I ventured to the Oval Shire with Mr. Gomberts to watch Surreyshire play the Men of Kent, or Le Gordin d'Anglais, as they say in parts of France. Surreyshire picked up a comprehensive win and over 7,000 were at the game. Who would have thought it? Proper cricket during the school holidays with the sun shining is actually extremely popular. Maybe that will catch up. Now, I must admit, Thursday and Friday I was a little under the weather. I started to feel a little dainty in the tummy area on Monday after partaking of Ted Scampy Supper on Sunday evening. I wasn't at my best Monday and Tuesday, and by the time I got back on Wednesday evening, I was very glad the U-Bend had been fixed in Boycott Vicarage. Thursday I spent, how to put this politely to you all, not too far from the Vicarage bathroom, but Friday I felt a little better and was able to hear Mr. Gombert's reading from this morning's service and his reworking of Steps Classic, The Way You Make Me Feel, which the choir will be performing shortly. Yesterday everything was back in working order, so to speak, and I had a peaceful day, enjoying the glorious weather, sitting on the parish green and ruminating on many cricketing issues, including a recall for Dan Lawrence and Ollie Pope to the England Test Squad. The Parish Eleven are not playing this weekend, which is a good thing, as everyone is still recovering from the drama of last Sunday, I think, and it was lovely to see so many of our cricketing heroes with us here today in the church for the service. So a very busy week again, and I would like to finish today, if you will allow me, with the words of James Earl Jones in the Kevin Costner movie motion picture Field of Dreams. If you build it, they will come. I feel we are building something during the Sunday service, and I thank you all for coming. Until next week, at well, everyone. At very, very well.

SPEAKER_04 19:59

This week I'd like to talk about the return of Festival Cricket, disguised as the One Day Cup. Ladies and gentlemen, can we all just take a moment to appreciate one of Cricket's greatest accidental successes, the Metro Bank One Day Cup? Now I know what you're thinking. Hang on, isn't this the competition that takes place while that other tournament is happening? Exactly. We all know the script by now. Every August the headlines are dominated by a certain competition featuring pyrotechnics, DJs, enough branding to wallpacker about Buckingham Palace, and commentators desperately trying to convince us that a cover drive has changed the game forever. Meanwhile, the One Day Cup quietly gets along with the quaint old-fashioned business of playing cricket. Imagine that. And here's the wonderful thing. Somehow, through circumstances nobody planned, we've stumbled back into something that we've been told was extinct. Festival cricket. Remember that? Counties taking matches around the region, supporters making a day of it, children chasing autographs, players chatting to spectators, and cricket that felt well connected to the places it represented. Apparently that was all supposed to be finished. Except it isn't, it's back. The beauty of the One Day Cup is it's become cricket's equivalent of your favourite village pub. There are no velvet ropes, nobody's checking whether you're engaged with the product, and nobody keeps referring to the crowd as content creators. You simply turn up, watch cricket. What a radical concept. And then there's the teams themselves. Where else do you see a 19-year-old making his debut, trying to look composed, while sharing a dressing room with someone who's been playing since Gordon Brown was Prime Minister? One minute you've got an exciting academy of prospect launching fearless, lofted drives. The next you've got some gloriously wily veteran who appears to run in at roughly the speed of continental drift, yet somehow still. Has the opposition edging behind for 27. Better still, sprinkled throughout as some of the finest Red Bull cricketers in the county game. It's a glorious mix. Youth, experience, skill, hope. Now, don't get me wrong, it's perfectly understandable that county supporters occasionally feel a little aggrieved about the prominence, and shall we say, the oxygen consumed of that other competition. You can hardly blame them. For a few weeks each summer, it can feel as though the rest of the domestic game has been politely asked to wait outside while the kids have their party. But perhaps that's led to one unexpected silver lining. The One Day Cup has found its own identity. Not as a tournament played in someone else's shadow, but as the tournament where County Cricket remembers exactly what it is. It's become the place where tomorrow's stars first appear on the radar, and where supporters can still wander around a cricket ground with an ice cream in one hand, a scorecard in the other, and the comforting knowledge that nobody is about to interrupt a cricket with a dance routine. Festival cricket didn't disappear after all, it's just changed its name. And if this is a renaissance, long may it continue. Because every game doesn't need fireworks. Sometimes all cricket really needs is cricket.

SPEAKER_05 23:21

Thank you to WG. And now Mr. Gomerts will read a passage from the good book.

SPEAKER_01 23:36

This week's reading from the Good Book is from the Book of the White Bull, PowerPlay One, 80 for 2. And the young man asked Mother Cricket, as there is no Test cricket at the moment, what am I to do? For the 100 who interests me not. And Mother Cricket replied, Well, there is one more thing. And the young man's interest had been piqued, with his eyes wide open and his eyebrows raised. Now you may not have heard of it, for little has been done to advertise, but it is called the One Day Cup. And the young man responded with interest, I now knoweth how long it takes, but I still knoweth not of what thine competition consists. And Mother Cricket said, This young man, you ought to discovereth yourself. So he bought a ticket and popped on down, and lo, he enjoyed it greatly. He saw the old guard mixing it with the enthusiastic youth. He saw the excitement and passion of the crowd, and he felt the tension as both teams grappled with the decision of whether to accelerate the run rate or preserve their wickets in the middle owes. From there on in, he vowed to spread the message far and wide. Here endeth the reading. I now invite you to join me as we bow our heads in prayer. Dearest Mother Cricket, thank you for the long hops. Thank you for the half-trackers. Thank you for the full bungers, for the short and wide ones, and for the ones that harmlessly slip out of the bowler's hand. I will forever continue to be dismissed by these deliveries, but my eyes will never cease to light up. In Swingers and Googlies, how's that? Would you now all please take out your hymn books and stand as we sing our next hymn, number one thousand nine hundred and seventy-one? You may be seated. I now invite everybody to take part in the cutting of the sandwiches and the drinking of the squash. As you come to the front and answer this cricketing question for your chance to win a pair of three sixty cricket shoes. It's a lot of cricket shoes, then there's a lot of cricket shoes. Thanks to our friends in the parish of Newbury.

SPEAKER_05 27:37

Oh yes, I love these shoes. In fact, sexy Rex is wearing them today. So could everybody please turn around and get a proper look at them? Rex? Could you stick your legs out, please? No Rex, just your legs, please. Just stick your legs out, Rex, so we can see your 360 shoes. Like you stick your arms out when you're wicket keeping. That's it. Thank you, Rex. There they are, there they are. You can see what Rex looks like in them, or to give him his full name. Now he's wearing the Newbury 360 shoes, even sexier Rex. They do look stunning, and as Rex has proven, you can choose the Spikes option if you'd like to wear them for cricketing purposes, or you can choose the pimple option if like Rex, or as he's now known, of course, even sexier Rex, you'd like to wear them to the service. Last week your simple question was this with Joe Root having been named as the New England Test Captain, can you tell me how many Test matches he won during his previous spell as Test Captain? The answer, of course, was twenty-seven. Now, this week I invite you all now to come to the front of the church, even though some of you are already here you've come up far too early again, uh, to answer this week's question. Mrs. Watts, please, please, please, could you hurry up? Thank you. I know kneeling down takes a while. Thank you. You're nearly there, you're nearly there. Yeah there, Mrs. Watts. Excellent. So here is this week's question. Joss Butler became the leading scorer in the history of T twenty cricket by smashing one for six this week. But who was the bowler that he smashed? For those not now, not now, Mrs. Watts, not the answer now. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. For those listening to this service on the recording, and therefore obviously you can't come to the front of the church right now, you can send your answers into SundayserviceCricket at gmail.com or Twitter at Sundayservice22. And those from the Parish of Newbury have also released a bespoke discount code for members of our parish. Just use Sundayservice15 and get 15% off goods at www.newbury.co.uk, excluding bespoke bats, and why not treat yourselves to some premium gear and quality willow?

SPEAKER_01 30:11

Well, all the sandwiches have been eaten, apart from the prawn mayo ones, which smelt like they went off quite a long time ago, which means that it is stumps for today's service. But please note that teas and cakes will be served at the back of the church, and don't worry, there will be no prawn mayo sandwiches. And Ted is hosting a pub quiz in the Badgers Googly shortly after the service. So get a team together and head on down for your chance to win a premium cod supplied by the Fishmongers of Farting Fallows. I expect a big turnout. And there's currently a collection plate going around, so please do give what you can. All proceeds will go towards the parish birdbath. We're making really good strides towards getting this birdbath perfect for all the birds of the parish. So please do continue to give generously towards this. And lastly, please don't forget that you can tell us all of your cricketing woes, worries, triumphs, and tales during the week by emailing SundayserviceCricket at gmail.com or messaging us on Twitter at Sundayservice22.

SPEAKER_05 31:23

Thank you everybody for coming along to the service today, and if you've enjoyed yourself, please do tell other members of the parish to come along with you next week and expand our cricketing family. Thank you to WG Rumblepants for his observations on the festival feel of the One Day Cup and to Mr. Gomberts for his reading from the Good Book. And of course, to Newbury for their continued support of the Sunday service.

SPEAKER_01 31:50

This service has been led by George Gomperts and Mark Church. So, until next Sunday, just remember, run the first one hard, and then and only then assess whether a second run is available.

SPEAKER_05 32:09

Wise words, young Mr. Gomberts, wise words. Goodbye. I hope you enjoyed the service. No, you see, we did we did well I did. I I mentioned your heroics of the five wickets against the the fish mangers of farting fallows. Um it's just just I have to be honest with you, Reg, you were fast asleep at the time, so you didn't hear me say it. Uh no, I wouldn't say say that nobody turned around to look when I mentioned that you were asleep. No, no, no, no, don't be embarrassed. Everybody was very impressed with your bowling and concluded that you were having a well-earned rest. Very good. And um, I will see you next week, Rich.