Are you being nice or wasting time?

Walk into a fish market and you'll walk out smelling like fish, walk into a luxurious perfume store and you'll walk out smelling like a luxurious high class woman. 

Same thing happens with who you're talking to in the DMs:

Talking to leads who drain you = leads you to having no motivation, content/mental blocks, you feel like a broken record...

Talking to leads who lights your soul on fire = you feel activated AF, content ideas ooze out of you with ease, tears run down your cheeks as you think to yourself "I am so blessed to be living this life, working with the most incredible women and being able to change their lives) 

(Listen to this episode and you'll know exactly what I'm talking about😉)

This episode will change the way you view "converting in the DMs"  

In this episode we cover: 

• Being the woman who embodies what she teaches in her content and in all areas of her life, and as a byproduct? Dream clients feel compelled by your frequency alone
• When to draw the line with a potential "lead" 
• Conviction around selling and becoming a magnet towards the right clients

This episode will have you either walking out thinking "that's all" or "holy crap, I've just had the biggest 'aha' moment EVER" it will call you out in the best way possible but also give you the love and shove you need 🤏

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Learn to craft stories that sell and create instant demand (plug and play frameworks ready for you to implement ASAP): 

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Want more hands on support and receive the 1:1 guidance so that you can build the business of your dreams with scalable sales systems and drool worthy, seductive messaging? Apply for my close proximity coaching here⬇️

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Is it called being nice or is it called wasting time? You talk to this person, and at first, great chemistry. From the get-go, great chemistry. You guys talk so well with each other. You guys just talk about the most random topics for like hours. It could be about their business, it could be about clients, it could be about their day-to-day life, it could be about their work. You guys ask each other how your days go by. And honestly, the entire conversation feels effortless. You guys say, Oh my god, it feels like I haven't talked to you in so long. How are you? Catch me up on everything. And you guys talk about life so well as if you guys are friends who have known each other for years, right? And you start this building rapport process, and it doesn't feel forced like any other process that you have. There's no script needed. It's effortless, it's natural. You guys just go along very well. So you're like, hmm, starting to understand more about where she is in in business. You start to get to know about, you know, her problem, her pain points, like her desires, her goals, what she wants her business to look like. You know more of her day-to-day life, how she's balancing maybe work, maybe school alongside this business, and you understand more. Okay, this is exactly what's going on behind the scenes. And you are also aware that maybe some of your offers or maybe your one-on-one coaching may be a good fit for her based on where she is now. So you're like, okay, honestly, I think it's a good time to pitch. Like, I honestly think that X offer that I have could really help her, considering how she's already opened up to me. She has her guard down and she trusts me enough for me to honestly pitch. And I feel like she would definitely go ahead with it, right? So you start off by doing more problem awareness questions. You start off by kind of building more of a poor in terms of asking questions that actually gets the needle moving, and you understand more in terms of the problems that she's facing, the micro-specific symptoms that she's going through in business. And she also agrees with everything that you're saying, right? You're saying all the right words and you're like, okay, good. I'm so close to the pitch. Let me get to the pitch. Now it gets to the pitch, right? It should be easy to sell. You guys build rapport, she trusts you, there's emotional safety, there's friendship right there, and you already know a lot about her, and you are certain that this offer can literally change her life based on all these symptoms that she's presented. Kind of like your doctor right now, right? You're diagnosing her with a problem and you know the exact solution that would work on her in her exact situation. But for some reason, as soon as you pitch, all these things start coming up. I don't have time, I'm super busy. I'm just not sure if this is like the right option for me. You know, I've invested in a lot of other things before, and I'm just really not sure about this. Oh, it's kind of like, you know, pricey. I mean, it's just like, no, not something that I want to look into right now. It's not really a priority for me. And you're like, what the heck? Wait, you just said that you want to scale your business 20k months. You just said that you want to scale to multi-six figures. You just said that you want to go all in into your business. You said all these things, but then as soon as it comes to taking action, wait, what's going on? Why is she flinching? Why is she replying less? Why is she distancing herself from me? Why is it taking her now days for her to reply to me? What's going on? Right? I was just talking to one of my clients about this. She was talking to someone who may be interested in her product, and they've been talking for, I believe it's like a month and a half now around the offer, which may be the best fit for her. But this person always comes up with excuses as in, hmm, I'm just very busy, you know, like it's just life has been super overwhelming. Have not been on this account for the longest time. And I, you know, just have so many things going on with work, both with business and also in motherhood. And, you know, I just decided to take a break. I'm probably gonna come back. I'll shall see where this is going, right? And I asked her a question, which was super, super, super crucial in this exact moment. Is she your dream client? Is she your dream buyer? Is she someone that you manifest that you want to work with? She said no. And I was like, why? Because my dream client, she's the person who goes all in, she's the person who doesn't hesitate, she's the person who takes the risk, she's the person who takes action even when it doesn't make logical sense, even when life is falling apart in every angle of her life, even when no one else believes in her, even when she's having her lowest cash money, she's gonna get resourceful, she's gonna find a way. She would never make excuses. And is this the person that is your dream client? Because it's so easy to fall into the trap of you want to help that person. And I know so many of you guys who are listening to this podcast right now, you are an empath. You are someone who genuinely wants to help people. You see someone struggling with X problem, you genuinely want to help them. You see the potential, right? You see that they have so much potential to scale to their deepest desires if they just take action, if they just go ahead and learn that skill set. And also, obviously, a part of you also wants that sale. It feels good seeing that you've made a sale on your stripe dashboard, right? But what if the person doesn't see their own potential? But what if the person doesn't view this as a priority? But what if the person doesn't want to actually take radical action? Can you actually get them to take action when it isn't even a priority for them? When they have stated very clearly that honestly, they don't really want to go all in. And they've showed actions around that. They've even told you so, and they've even foreshadowed it in the conversations itself. So many of us, when it comes to having conversations, we want to save someone. We want to drag them along the finish line. We want to help them truly from a sense of like wanting to help them and truly wanting to see the best for them. But not everyone wants them for themselves. Not everyone is willing to go all in in their business. Not everyone is willing to take that risk. Not everyone can see their own potential. Not everyone wants this business as bad as they want to breathe. And we have to be okay with accepting that. Because if they are not someone who prioritizes this business, there's no sales script, there's no rapport building process, there's no amount of convincing, which would get us to actually get the needle moving in terms of having them taking action. It's very similar to a relationship, right? If someone has stated very clearly in a relationship, hey, I don't want to be in a relationship, it's just not a priority for me right now. I mean, I have a bunch of work I have to get um, a bunch of work that I need to do. I have so many things to take care of in my personal life. I just don't think it's the right time for me. Maybe somewhere down the line, do you think you're capable of actually getting them into a long-term committed relationship? Of course not, because they've already stated clearly, hey, it's not the time right now for me. It's not a priority, and I don't think it's on the top of my list, right? Similar to if someone was to go to the gym. If someone states very clearly, hey, like I don't really think I want to go to the gym, like right now it's not a priority for me. I mean, like I want to prioritize work or family more or life is just super busy and you try to force them to go to the gym. Do you think they would? Of course not. Because again, it's not a priority for them. And it's the same way when it comes to business, not every single person in your DM has a priority when it comes to taking action, when it comes to changing their life. It is not your job to save them. The more time you spend trying to save someone who doesn't want to be saved, the more time you are spending just not being present for your dream client. Hence why the most important question I ask my client is is this actually dream client? Does she share the same traits as your dream client? Is this someone that you truly want to work with? That you picture yourself being so happy, being so activated, being so lit up working with? Or do you feel like when you work with this person, even after they purchase, you're gonna have to drag them through the finish line. You're gonna have to parent them, you're gonna have to coddle them, reassure them constantly. Because I can guarantee you, if they're doing this right before the investment process, they are going to do this after the investment. I made this mistake a lot myself, right? I want to help people when it comes to investments. I know that my one-on-one coaching could help them. I know that I could definitely help them scale to 10x. But before the conversation, before taking the investment, they've already shown signs of they don't really prioritize this, right? I have to coddle them. I have to reassure them. I have to be the person who was kind of acting like the therapist. Therefore, it shows up in the coaching container itself. It is not our job, it is not our responsibility to save someone, to convince someone to take action when, you know, they don't want to. And it's so easy for us to fall in the trap of like, okay, but we also want to do this for them, but also the sake of our own benefit. But we have to realize that premium buyers, they don't just buy based on value. They don't just buy based on how many women you've worked with, they don't just buy based on how much money you've made. They buy from who you are behind the scenes. Are you truly the woman who embodies what you exactly teach in your content? Are you the woman who says one thing in your content and does the complete opposite, you know, behind the scenes? Are you the woman who says that you have firm boundaries and you're someone who doesn't give value away for free because you know your body of work deserves to pay thousands for? But as soon as you have a low cash month, you proceed to go to free coaching in your DMs, hoping that just if I couldn't offer enough value for this person who's on the brink of hitting purchase, they would just go invest in me. That repels premium clients more than anything. When you don't fully embody what you teach. Are you the person who says that you only work with a selective group of women? You are super cautious with who you enter inside your world because energy is everything, and you want your room to be surrounded by industry leaders and people who share the same all-in mentality, but you're willing to accept anyone who's willing to pay you on Zoom. Anyone who shows up on a sales call, you're willing to convince them to join your program. Are you the woman who says that you're disciplined in all areas of life, but you are not doing that, I don't know, in your relationships, in when you're working out, when you're going to the gym, right? When you're showing up in your business, right? Are you the woman who truly embodies what you teach? Are you the woman who's saying, like, I only work with a selective group of women, but you're spending 24-7 of your time in the DMs convincing the wrong woman to join your containers, having to parent them throughout the entire building rapport process, having to reassure them and give them a free therapy session in the DMs just so they could sign up to a payment plan. People buy from embodied leadership. It is so hard. I know, letting go of a conversation where you've built insane great rapport with, you've talked to that person for weeks, for months, and you've built a great relationship. But having to say no, having to say no to that, okay, I need to move on, it's hard. It's gonna be hard because you're like, oh my gosh, I could have missed out on a potential sale. I could have missed out on a client. But what if something better is coming your way? What if you have to close one chapter in order to open a new chapter? What if every single person that you're having a conversation with is a lesson about your boundaries, about your leadership that's being tested so that when you close that chapter entirely, your dream client is on the brink of hitting purchase in the next chapter around the corner. Every single time I've learned to say no to someone who is not my dream client and learning to set firm boundaries, saying, hey, like this may not be the good fit. I don't think we align. I don't think I have what you're looking for, and standing firm in what I say in my content behind the scenes, I always have a dream client who comes around the corner ready to pay in full. No questions asked, no hesitation. Boom, just send me the link. I'm ready to pay in full Kelly on a random Tuesday at 9 p.m. We have to be okay with learning to move past this. Going past, it's very similar to a relationship, right? Would you be in a relationship where you're constantly having to coddle that person, where you're constantly having to mother that person, where you're constantly having to convince them, beg them to do things for you, to buy you flowers, to give you like morning kisses, to brew that coffee for you, to tie your shoelaces, to even remember that it's your birthday, to plan something special for Valentine's Day, because never let, never let your boyfriend stop you from finding your husband. That is one of my biggest, biggest quotes that I also use when it comes to leads. Never let your boyfriend stop you from finding your husband. Never let your leads stop you from finding your dream client. If there's one thing that you can take away from this podcast episode, is if that person is not your dream soulmate enlightened clients, you have to learn the art of detachment and letting them go and trusting in the universe and God that someone better is going to come your way. If you are constantly attaching yourself to people who drain you, guess how you're gonna show up in your business? You are going to feel drained. You're not gonna have any creativity. You're going to feel as if you're dealing with this mental block, your energy is going down, right? And who you surround yourself with, even with leads, are so important. I read this quote the other day and it really, really just sparked an idea. A woman said, if you walk inside a fish market and let's say it's like a wet market in Hong Kong, right, where they sell fish, you're gonna walk out smelling like cheap fish, right? Smell bad. You walk into a luxury perfume store, you're gonna walk out feeling luxurious, like that woman who owns a seven-figure business. That CEO version of yourself, you're gonna smell like luxury, like a woman who belongs in a specific status. You're gonna smell high class. Who you surround yourself with in terms of your leads and who you are talking to actively in the DMs also affects the way that you show up, the people that you attract, the frequency that you radiate in your content and in your messaging. Learn to say no. Learn to say no because your biggest blessing is on its way as soon as you say no and as soon as you start respecting yourself, your self-worth, your time, and your energy by learning that, hey, you know what? I wouldn't have put time into this conversation if I was already signing in eight private clients every single month. If I was running a seven-figure business, if I was fully booked out and my calendar was fully booked out, if I had a wait list, if I'm literally dominating the industry, I wouldn't give this conversation even second in my time of day. I wouldn't because I know that I want to work with a specific caliber of woman. I know that I'm meant to work with the woman who truly lights my soul on fire, that I walk out of every single conversation, feeling so lit up, almost in tears, being so thankful that this is actually my job. Like this is what I actually get to do every single day. I get to get paid for the gifts that I have and to also impact so many amazing women. You want to walk out of every single conversation feeling as if you just drank three cups of coffee, feeling so lit up, ready to post 10 pieces of concept because the conversation just sparked something in you. You want to walk out of this conversation feeling like, damn, like I just cannot believe I have the most incredible woman inside of my world. Like truly, these are the dreamiest soul, soulmate clients, soul aligned clients that I've written in my journal that I manifested just a year ago. That is the feeling that you want to have when you're walking out of every single conversation. Not the feeling of, oh my god, why can't I convert her? Why do I have to coddle her? Like, why is it taking so long? No. Learn to set that boundary, learn to set that line, learn to draw that line, and learn to detach yourself away. As soon as you do that, dream clients will flood into your DMs without any questions. This is something that I can guarantee. Just try it and let me know. And I really, really hope you enjoyed this podcast episode. I just know that someone needed to desperately hear this today.