What is the Day in the life of a pastor?

Welcome to season 2.  This season, we will look at more practical things of being a pastor, which we hope to see how God works in the ordinary life.  

We kick off this season with an episode about a day in the life of a pastor.  We talk about whether there really is a normal day, since we can experience the highs and lows of the human experience, and how God meets us in our own highs and lows.  

We then discuss how our prayer lives help create the rule of life for us.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Well, welcome back to Two Pastors One Calling. I'm here with Father Brian. I'm Pastor Chris, and we are so excited for you to join us for season two. Thank you so much for hanging in with us during season one. Hope you got to know a little bit about us and some of our experiences and some of the things that God has done in our lives to just kind of form us and shape us to who we are. And as we kick off this next season, I'm so excited. We've already been exchanging different ideas about different topics. I'm not going to share all of them with you yet. You just got to listen. But uh we've got different ones that are coming different angles, uh, and they're a little more broad, not just to get to know us, but uh even our roles a little bit. In fact, today that's kind of what we're gonna talk about. We're gonna talk about like a typical day, and I don't even know if you can use the word typical, but I'm gonna use that for right now. A typical day in the life of a pastor. And we know everybody has different types of jobs, but we thought we would just kind of compare and contrast like our typical days. And so uh I love this, and I am reading this right now. Pastor Bryan wrote this down. He said, Is there a normal routine for you? So I'm gonna throw that right to him because I'd love to know his answer to that. Is there a normal routine in a day in the life of Father Brian?

SPEAKER_02 1:12

Up until about 9 a.m., yes. Okay, um, because I think what it comes down to is our my normal routine begins with the same things every single morning and then either 6:30 a.m. or 8 30 a.m. in general, everyone's all noon, um, I have mass. I sort of mass. So um but after I finish that part of the day, then it's anything can happen, sort of a thing. And um, but as pastors though, especially when when you have a lot more administrative tasks, you you can look at your calendar and know these are my meetings today, this is gonna happen today, we're gonna do this today. But there's always those things that pop up as well and and don't uh and and help you, you know, they they pop up and they take you by surprise. And that's where real ministry begins. You know, because uh people have talked about real ministry beginning once the phone rings or once someone uh comes comes to the office or whatever. But I think is there is there a normal routine for you? I would say how I start my day and how I end my day is the normal routine. And then one other thing would be this is that um because of of our as priests, we we we take on the uh the the what's called the divine office, where we pray certain times throughout the day. Um it was drilled into me in seminary that I cannot eat dinner until I pray evening prayer. And so just be that's just how it was. That's every single day. That's what we did. We met in the chapel, we had our whole holy hour, we we prayed the rosary, we adoration, and then we finished with evening prayer every day, and then we walked downstairs and ate dinner. Okay, and so every day I can't eat dinner until I pray evening prayer. I just can't do it. It's impossible for me to do that. And you know, and and I'd be making dinner, and I've in maybe a day, uh, oh yeah, I haven't prayed yet. I have to stop what I'm doing, go over and pray it. So, really, in terms of a normal routine, I mean, there there are some things of prayer throughout the day, um, but really between 9 a.m. and 8 p.m., you you know, you have your scheduled meetings, but anything else could happen.

SPEAKER_00 3:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:34

And so that's the normal routine for me right there.

SPEAKER_00 3:36

Yeah, and I was thinking for you, so Father Brian's over a very large parish, parish is. Yeah. And so can you kind of this is kind of throwing your curve back here over the last five years, let's say, how has your routine had to adjust and change because of the number of people that you care for and that your church body as a whole is caring for in our community? It it feels like your job is maybe different. Am I right in that some things have changed over the last five years?

SPEAKER_02 4:03

Oh, it definitely has, yes. Um, I first when I first became a pastor, I I was a pastor of one parish, and that was my that was my my was all my thing every single day was was that one parish. Now being a pastor of two parishes, um it's it's definitely changed my life a lot because number one, um, I used to live on site of the place where I would minister at the one parish I was at. Now I have different two different campuses, so I don't live on one of those sites. So even things down to like, let's say it's lunchtime, and I don't have I don't have my own place on the other campus, and I don't have you know a kitchen I can go to during the day and make food. Um, I probably could if we figure it out. But even trying to have lunch when I'm at the other campus, if I didn't bring it with me that day, that means I'm either you know being bad and grabbing a bag of chips, or I just don't eat until later on in the day. And so that so really, yeah, it's changed a lot of things in that regard. It's changed um having both two different campuses, one remembering where you're at. So so I one, I have an assistant that takes care of my calendar, and she takes, I mean, she's wonderful, and she takes care of everything on my calendar, all the meetings. I'm I'm even to a point now where someone emails me, I say no, I shouldn't schedule that because she's going to take care of it. And and I don't know what else she's dealing with that's on my calendar. Um, so I think again, the terms of a normal routine and and how it's changed over time, it a lot of it, yeah, it has changed over time. And so a lot of it's a great blessing because it's it's forced me to look at ministry different, and what does it mean to be a priest different, and what does it mean to to take care of God's people differently? And uh someone said uh a parish is like a child, and you know, when you have multiple of them, like you know, I obviously I'm not married, I don't have kids, but they're telling me like you know, how each campus, each each church has its own personality, personalities, everything, yeah, and different needs, you're right. It seemed like kids, every kid has different personalities, different needs, and that's because yeah, I've learned that each I need to deal with a similar but not the same, yeah, and understand what's what needs to happen.

SPEAKER_00 6:25

So yeah, that's great. Yeah, so I have to be honest on this question because um I've never been officially diagnosed with ADHD, but I think people that know me best would say I probably do have ADHD. Yeah, uh, and I actually am gonna say that that's been a blessing for me because both of our jobs, there is a uh a shift a lot, like very quickly. You might be doing literally, and I've only had this happen a few times, but you might go to the hospital and celebrate with someone who's had a brand new baby, and then you may actually go then conduct a funeral, and then you may actually go and conduct a wedding. Yep, correct. All these things are critical components in the life of family. And uh, and I give God all the glory for this, but I've been able to like shift, and then as a honestly, as a husband and father, my day then may end with celebrating my kid's birthday. Sure. So you're like, wow. So there's four significant moments in one day, and you're pivoting and shifting from celebration to sorrow to the, you know, and it's uh it's kind of crazy. So routine, and that's why I asked you the question, the second question I did is I what I've discovered as our church has grown some. There is a little more routine in the sense of those meetings. Correct. So one of my mentors was like, and and I try this and I'm I'm not great at it, but I'm working on it. He was like, if you can pick a day that each day has kind of its purpose.

SPEAKER_01 7:44

Oh, sure, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:45

So like I might work on like a message for Sunday on like a Wednesday, and I'm like, well, that's my message prep day. And so I try to build everything around like whatever that might look like. And then around here we call it Monday meeting days. Like I have meetings all day Monday, but they're pretty routine in that regard, you know. Uh and sometimes with the way I'm wired, that can get boring. So yes, it can, yes.

SPEAKER_02 8:09

Oh, yeah, it can, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:10

Yeah, but I think what's interesting is just that sometimes, like in our particular role, like you some of the most divine moments, like they're those interruptions that you don't have planned, they're not on the calendar. And so um but yeah, go ahead.

SPEAKER_02 8:23

No, I'm sorry, apologies. Sorry about that. You know, it's been it's been a few minutes, so we've done this for us. So no, so so when when we talk about what's what's called a rule of life, you know, like that almost it's like a routine, but it's but it's like how it's it's what makes your what what regulates your life sort of a thing. You know, what like when when I when I look at it, my my rule of life, a lot of it has to do with uh my prayer times, it has to do with when I celebrate mass, it has to do with uh when I eat. Those are that's my rule of life. And then I then try to think about okay, as you said, on these different days, these are the things I I need to get done for these days. And so to to that's what that's what we have called a rule of life and uh to to and rule. This comes from the the Latin word uh regular, which which we get from regular, what makes things regular in your life. So, I mean, how have you seen a rule of life for you? You talked about a little already, but how can you get a little a little more deep in depth?

SPEAKER_00 9:21

I like what you said. You mentioned that you prayer is a big thing for you. I think for me, there's an actual spot I sit in my house. It's uh actually a recliner, but I get my Bible, I also have a notebook, and then I usually am reading a book, and that time is just time with Jesus. Like I feel like I sit there and I just want to set the pace, and it's typically best for me for it to be the first part of the day. So I'm not even dressed yet. Like I'm still wearing pajamas, slippers, and maybe a cup of coffee, and I just enjoy that time. And I really have to be disciplined. Again, maybe it's because of the ADHD. I don't know. I have to be disciplined to slow, slow down my heart, slow down my mind, slowly like not just let it be a to-do list. Yeah. And then my prayer is, or the rule of life is like, God, I want, I want your spirit, like I want to be surrendered to your spirit. Like I've got a calendar, I've got, I even set alarms on my phone. You've seen me do that before. You're like me, Strict. Um, but I don't want those to dictate. Like I want the spirit to guide the day, you know, and I always think about like those early disciples and Jesus just waking them up, maybe early in the morning and saying, hey guys, follow me. Let's go. And they don't fully know what village they're gonna go, what town they're gonna go to. They don't know what miracle they're gonna experience that day. And they were kind of on a I don't know if this is a great way to say it, but like an Indiana Jones adventure following Jesus and realizing who he was. And I just don't want to miss out on some of those, some of those things. So, in order for me to be ready for that, I my rule of life would be like, well, you better get your mind and heart ready for that. Sure. So you mentioned eating as well, like as a meal thing. Tell me a little bit more like that. Is there like a strict time that you're eating, or tie how does that factor in the rule of life?

SPEAKER_02 11:03

It it it helps you find those moments away. Okay, because uh there's different ways you can sanctify the day, one is through prayer, and the other is care for yourself. You know, so I think that that's um so those different ways help you what's called sanctify the day. Okay. And and what they become those holy moments of you saying, This is my time, and this is a non-negotiable time. Now, when I say that, they can adjust a little bit, you know? But like, um I it's hard for me to eat lunch at times because of how busy I am, how much I'm driving around, stuff like that. But when it comes to the evening time, that becomes my moment of stopping, relaxing, and having my good meal of the day as a dinner. I'll have a little bit for breakfast, not a lot, because by the time I finish mass and the office opens, I'm into the day. Um, because we we as a staff will pray together every day at the morning at 9.15, and then the office opens at 9.30, and then we're all going the same direction throughout the day. But then, but once we once past 4:30 hits, and you know, you may have a meeting in the evening time, you might have something else going on. That also that's also my time to to have that moment of just myself and maybe you know, another priest I love uh them with, and just be there and have that time just to relax, eat dinner, and have that moment of with with our Lord. I I'll pray the evening prayer, I'll eat dinner, and then and then once that's done, then I'll move into other things.

SPEAKER_01 12:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:35

Um now, here's the thing though, is that uh if if if I have a you know a 7 p.m. meeting and I I can't eat dinner until 5 30 or 6, I'll eat small. And then when the meeting's over, I'll eat a little bit more.

SPEAKER_01 12:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:49

Because I'm I don't I don't like having like a lot of like now your stomach gets heavy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So uh so yeah, that that's what I do. So I to me that that becomes part of the sanctifying of the day because you're taking care of yourself and and you're and you're thanking the good Lord for what you're eating, and you're thanking the good Lord for the day.

SPEAKER_01 13:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:08

And then and then uh the last thing you do throughout the day is you do what we call an examination of conscience where you just roll through the day, you know, the blessings, what I could have done better, the mistakes I made. Sure. Give them up to the Lord, have me do better tomorrow. And then it's off to that's awesome.

SPEAKER_00 13:26

Yeah, I love that that term, sanctifying the day. And just you're exactly right. Like, I think even people listening, like caring for yourself, like God's called you to a high calling that's caring for a lot of individuals and people and families, but it's so important to prioritize the fact that like God wants to do work in us, like continually caring for ourselves, meeting with Him, or like you said, setting apart sanctifying part of the day. So, another question we wanted to talk about and kind of exchange stories is what it what about when you know, and sometimes it's just this way, you know it's gonna be a tough day, and a tough day could be defined multiple ways. It could be hard meetings, it could be a funeral, it's too much funerals, yeah. That's exactly right. Is there anything you do that kind of preps you for I just know tomorrow's gonna be hard?

SPEAKER_02 14:12

Yeah, yeah. You know, I think one of those things is is that uh to me it starts on Sunday when you look at over your week and you think about what's what's coming over your week. I think that's a way of praying into the week. I also think that there is a certain way of when you start your morning and you look at your and you look at all of your your stuff going on that day, and you see that either that meeting or that funeral that you have or whatever it might be, and you're you're and you that's like the the the big um thing hanging over your head that day. It it's to me, how how I prepare for that is one, just trying to give it to the Lord to help me through it, you know, and and I think maybe you talk about that too, but but it is one of those where um when I start the day, it's almost kind of like praying, looking at my calendar and saying, I give this, I give this to you, help me to know what to say, what to think, what to feel, help me to know what's true, help me to know, understand what's going on, and then and then just and then and as you go throughout the day, you kind of have those moments that Lord, I I give this this time to you to please lead us through this, and not just not lead me, but lead us through this, and so we so we come to where you want us to be. And I think to me that that's that's how I begin that day, and uh that's no that's a meeting thing. Um but the other side is the funeral aspect of it all when you know you're gonna have a tough meeting where either the funeral itself or you're meeting with the family to prepare for a funeral, or you're meeting with the family because someone is dying and you're and you're meeting with them to to to pray with them and pray for that person, and you know, you have to learn how to pray into that moment. And on a certain level, as pastors, we have to kind of keep our own personal stuff away from that because we're there to minister to those people, and if we allow our own personal things to get in the way, then then our own stuff can get in the way of that moment too. So, I mean, so that's that's my way of looking at it. I mean, how how would you look at that?

SPEAKER_00 16:22

That's good. I I mean, I think that's great advice. Like, I uh I guess one of my prayers is Lord, help me be fully present and recognize your presence, if that makes sense. So sometimes if I'm stressed, I'm like, man, I just want to run through it rather than live in it. Oh, that's a very good thing. And so I think for me, I'm like, and typically it's one of those where you're like, you're right, where someone's going through a devastating situation, whether it be like a hospice situation, sometimes you walk in and you literally don't know, uh, is this person going to breathe their last while we're praying? And that does happen. Oh, it doesn't matter. And then of course the families has all different responses and reactions. Also, sometimes I think for me, I can't remember if I've shared this or not yet, but uh, I start with being a people pleaser. Yeah, and so those stressful meetings when somebody is not pleased, which is normal, and it may have nothing to do with sin at all. It could just have to do with different preferences, but they're gonna express they are displeased with you. And then you as a shepherd, you even as a leader, may need to take a stand and say, Well, you know, I appreciate what you're sharing, but we're gonna have to, we're still moving forward in this initiative or this direction, and you know that person's gonna respond. And, you know, just like everybody else, I mean, no one likes to be told how you know, the one thing that gets me, I'm gonna share this publicly now. Everybody's gonna, you you can't use this. No one can use this as a butt. When someone tells me, you don't really love me. Oh, yeah, or you don't love people. That hurts so bad. And it's like, man, I do love you. Yeah, and I know you don't like what I'm saying. Uh, it has helped me being a father because you can imagine my boys have said that in their lifetime. Hey, you don't love me, Dad. You're not letting me do X, Y, or Z, or you told me to do that, you know. And so kind of preparing my heart. And uh, I also have a close group of friends that if I'm going into a tough meeting, I'll send a text and just say, hey, pray for me. And I I protect confidentiality, I'm not gonna share who I'm going in. But they know what I'm asking for is man, we're in these moments that I might, you know, be about to get yelled at in some I need some strength. And so having brothers around you is you know like a good thing to do.

SPEAKER_02 18:33

And nice thing that that's our next episode too. Or something like that. Yeah. But you know, but you're right, I think that there's a certain level of it's easy for us to feel like we're alone when we do when we go through this thing, too. And it's easy for us to feel like there's that it's us versus everybody else, or no one sees my side, or all those type of things. And and it this is not an oh woe is me moment, yeah. But I think what it comes down to though is that we're still human. And you think you said people who become ministers and pastors do it because they want to help people, yeah. They want, they want, they want to help people along the path, so they're naturally more um leaning toward the sense of pleasing people, and so we have to learn how to not do that. And and one of the things that that when we were in seminary is that we were told that remember, parents say no a lot easier because they practice it a lot more than you guys have. Because like you guys as priests don't have kids, so you don't tell kids no at all, you know. And you probably talk about too, but like, but like us as priests, we don't have kids, we don't have families in that in that in that regard. We're not married, don't have kids. So we were we don't have we don't practice that sense of no to people.

SPEAKER_00 19:43

That is a lot of never thought about that.

SPEAKER_02 19:44

And so so we have to learn how to, you know, as we heard in our gospel for us that our gospel is best, we're going, make your you mean your yes, mean yes, and you're no mean yo, no, and not be like, Well, I don't really want you to do that, but it'll be okay, sort of a thing. Yeah, you know, which I've unfortunately I've said that before. But um, but you're right, it there is a certain level of of we like to please please people in the sense that we want people to to be happy and we want to help people find peace and contentment. Sure. And then that's that's in our heart. And say, but then unfortunately, when you have to make those tough decisions, you can't use your heart. You have to use your your your your mind and uh and the callus you build up over all that stuff to help you realize, no, I gotta make this is what I gotta do. Yeah, you know, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:32

So I've got one for you too. Yeah. So so somebody's listening to this podcast. What is one of the highlights that you would say, hey, when I think about they might be surprised by in my routine, like, here's just a really cool highlight that I experience, maybe not daily, but at least maybe once a week. That's just part of a day in a life of Father Brian. There's something really neat that you get to experience that it I mean, I'm hopefully you're still extremely grateful for it. But a lot of us would be like, oh wow, that's cool. I didn't know you get to do that.

SPEAKER_02 21:03

You know, I think there's uh when you the first thing that came to my mind was something that we only as priests do, and that's uh that's hear confessions. And um this is what you know when I say that, remember us as priests, we we know we're not the ones who are doing the forgiveness of people. We know the good Lord's doing that. We're just staying, we're just in that moment of the of the sacramental moment, and um, and we're giving the absolution in a moment. Um, but having uh seeing people come in their most vulnerable moments and then being able to witness how God is working in his love and mercy, it's it's the most humbling thing you'll ever see. Um, because at this moment you know 100% this is not you. But yeah, the but yeah, like the Lord has allowed you to be there in that moment. And it's not just for hearing confession. But like let's say you're you're you're with someone who's who's who needs some a little bit of help in their life or whatever, or you finally see them get it, you finally see them see what's going on, you finally see them like turn the corner. And those are those moments you're like, yeah, I that now I understand because this whole week was just nothing but you know this, that, and the other. But now I finally see a moment of like the good Lord working that I can see.

SPEAKER_00 22:26

Man, Father Brian stole mine. All right, no, I'll do it in 60 seconds. Like that's I was that's sorry, that was more articulate than what I was gonna say, but I I I was just gonna say, like, the idea that you get to be part of somebody's story and hear their story, yeah, yeah, because of the nature of our role, yeah, I people open up a lot more, whether it's in a confessional situation or just it could be across the table with coffee, you know, sure, and they allow you to share. And and I've been blessed to be able to share those hard moments, yeah, but then also some of the celebrations, you know. I love it when someone does call and say, I got the job. Like they they don't have to call me, like I'm not their physical family, I'm part of their spiritual family, but like we prayed for this, they interviewed, they worked hard, and they got the job, and God's provided. And so you celebrate, and so it's just and honestly, and I I have a feeling you probably feel the same way. There's times that I'm working, but I don't know I'm working. Does that make sense? Like everything I just described to you, it doesn't feel like work. Yeah, I'm I praise God, like our church does pay me to have those kind of meetings and things, and that I but a lot of like when you're operating into who God's made you to be, it doesn't feel like work, you know.

SPEAKER_02 23:39

And so yeah. I remember when I was first ordained, and probably a week and a half in, and I remember my spiritual director asked me, so you know, how's how is everything going with being a priest? And I said, honestly, it just feels normal. Yeah. And he goes, That's how it's supposed to feel. Yeah, it's just your life. It's your life, it's who's who you are, what you do is what you do. And you know, and it's that normalcy that that makes, you know, that that rules the thing you do, and and it's yeah, I just it just makes me remember that that answer of, yeah, it is it's it just feels normal. You know, it's almost kind of like you know, when you got married. Yep. To feel normal. Yeah, that's right. Same thing, you know, that's how we know the good Lord is there with us, you know. That's exactly right. So in our last few minutes here, you know, so how do you how have you seen God prepare you for the things you're moving into? I mean week to week, month to month, or even over the years. Because I think it's pretty that's that's kind of a broad question there, but but like, you know, as you is as you see how your your prayer over time, or you see what the good Lord has asked you to go through, how has that helped you when ministering to the people that that in terms of like being a pastor?

SPEAKER_00 24:49

Yeah, yeah. And when I think about like that preparation, there's been times where the preparation has scared me sometimes. And so, like the three things I'll list that you know you probably hear me say before is like, so there's God's word, and so like I'll be reading scripture and things pop off the page like they didn't do before, and then there'll be like repetition, and it can be different books of the Bible, but you're still seeing this kind of theme. And I'm I'm I'm serious when I'm like, I mean, I feel like God's the word of God is living and active, and so it's like He's saying something to me, and then your prayer time kind of matches it, and you're like, all right, what's going on? And then the final thing is so you got God's word, God's spirit, and God's people, and then God puts people in your lives, and you don't know what's gonna happen, but he's preparing you, and still, and I'm not proud of this, I wish I was more mature. At times I respond in fear. I'm like, oh man, he's preparing me for a tough season. When I get through it, I can look back and I'm so grateful. But right now, I still want to be, I want to be brave. Like I want to have faith, even when because God at times tells you, and you see this in scripture, he'll tell people, you know, things are gonna get tough. Yeah, you know, Jesus before he went to the cross in John 12, he's like, Man, the hour has come. What shall I say? God save me from this hour? No, I came to this hour. But he knew, he knew that trial was coming, the most intense thing, right? And and yet God had prepared him. And so uh, so I don't know if that answers your question, but those are like kind of definitely three things that I've God's used his word, his spirit, his people to kind of prep me for this next season.

SPEAKER_02 26:22

How about you? I I agree with 100% on everything you say. I think that there's a certain sense of of like when I'm preparing a preparing a homily for the week, there's a certain level of what have I experienced this week? Yeah, you know, or what's something that that you know, as as one people are saying, what's this one maybe a temptation I had this week? Yep. And maybe it's one of those where the good Lord is asking me to go through that temptation, obviously not to fall into it, obviously, but to know maybe what people are going through. That's right. And then or or how to preach upon that, or maybe I'm having a meeting coming up that someone's going through. I need to I need to have a a little bit of knowledge of how to over to overcome that. And to me, that that is the one thing I can only add to what you said, because I agree with everything you just said there, is that sometimes the good Lord puts us and it goes to that the the the tough season of life, he puts us through those things not for ourselves, but because we he's calling us to minister to his people, and you know, and my favorite, not favorite, but my the one in uh in uh Ezekiel, no, I'm sorry, Jeremiah, the the prayer Jeremiah when he's lamenting um the terms of his ministry, and he looks to God, he goes, God, you duped me, oh Lord. And I let myself be duped. Yeah, because Israel was not listening to him. Yeah, he thought he can go in and change everything, and they've they've been so obstinate. And then he goes in and says, I can't do this anymore, but I will, and I keep going. Yeah, and to me, that's the last thing I probably had about this is that being a pastor means we have many days where we go, I don't know if I can do this anymore. You know, please, we're fine, we're fine. But he but you have those moments of like, yeah, it's tough. But he had the the the um Jeremiah moment going, yeah, but I must keep going.

SPEAKER_00 28:10

That's right. Yeah, that's right. That's awesome. Yeah, well, thank you so much for sharing with us just the day in the life. I think uh hopefully this has been a helpful, helpful episode. And I just want you to think about as you're listening, as you think about your daily routine, where do you recognize like God just guiding and directing in his presence? And what might be like a life rule for you as well? What is something that you say, hey man, this is kind of a rule, or like you said, so something that's regular and routine in my life that really sets the pace? And we just encourage you to allow God to smile on your day each and every day. And uh, thanks again for joining us. And join us next time uh as we have our podcast, Two Pastors, one called Mm.