Is Celibacy a Spiritual Gift?

In this episode of the Q&A with Pastor Charlie podcast, we explore what the Bible teaches about celibacy, singleness, and marriage through Matthew 19 and 1 Corinthians 7. Is celibacy a spiritual gift? How do you know if God is calling you to singleness, and what does it look like to use singleness for the Kingdom of God? Pastor Charlie unpacks Jesus’ words about eunuchs, Paul’s teaching on singleness, and how both marriage and celibacy can uniquely glorify God and serve His purposes.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome back to another episode of the QA with Pastor Charlie Podcast. We're glad that you're listening with us this Friday. Um, today we have a question from somebody from our church, and they are wanting to discuss the topic of celibacy and what Jesus has to say about it, specifically in the book of Matthew 19.

SPEAKER_00 0:19

All right. Well, this is one of those topics that you don't get very often, but for people who think that they might have this gift, or maybe marriage isn't in the equation for them, it's definitely one that I think is sensitive but also important. And we're gonna look at a couple of things. One, the specific passage that he's referencing in Matthew 19, and then also we'll talk about what the Apostle Paul said about it in 1 Corinthians chapter 7 and see if we can't fit together the kind of the what is the biblical picture of celibacy. Now, as we think about celibacy, really what we're talking about is that person who's never gonna get married. And that can be for a variety of reasons. Maybe they don't have the desire to be married. Like God in them has just not given them this desire to uh, you know, be with someone in that way and commit their life to that. And the apostle Paul actually is gonna say, you know what, that's not a bad thing. And it's not to in any way denigrate the idea of marriage because clearly the Bible tells us that God created marriage, that marriage is a good thing. It's the way that God is gonna bless us, tell the story of his gospel, procreate in the world to bear his image. But then there are those who are not going to have that relationship. Sometimes it's because they don't desire it, and that's part of the gift. Other times it's because that's just God's plan for their life. And so as we look at Matthew 19, first of all, because that's the passage that was being asked about, let me just kind of set the tone a little bit. Actually, Jesus talking about not being married begins with a question about marriage and specifically divorce. And so the Pharisees came to Jesus and they wanted to test him. And so there was a big debate back in that day of what was permissible, uh, what kind of divorce was permissible. And so there was really two camps. Camp number one said you can divorce your wife for any reason. And so essentially they basically had taken the idea of being indecent in the Old Testament law and had said, you know what, if she cooks a meal you don't like, you don't like the way she looks, even the way she smells, and I mean you think about how preposterous some of these things are. Essentially, a man could divorce his wife for any reason. And that was the predominant thought of the day because men like that idea. They like the idea that I'm in full control. Uh, if I don't want to be married anymore, I can come up with one of any hundred of reasons to dismiss my wife and then go marry somebody else. The other thought of that day was much more in line with what Jesus is gonna say, which is the only reason that the Bible allows for you to be divorced, as far as from this indecency perspective, is sexual immorality. And Jesus is affirming that camp and that idea, but he's also gonna take it deeper and basically take them back to the beginning and say, you know, the reason that Moses allowed for divorce was because of sin. That wasn't God's plan from the beginning. And so divorce should never be something that we seek. It should never be something that we think is a great idea. It is a last resort because of certain types of sin that make it maybe almost impossible for that marriage to be able to sustain. Even in times of sexual immorality, the Bible is clear you don't have to divorce. That's not something you have to do. But rather, because of the type of hurt that that can cause and trust that can be broken there, Jesus says, Well, this was allowed because God knew sin, unfortunately, was going to affect marriages and at times lead to a place where divorce has to happen. And so as Jesus shares that with the crowd, his disciples looked at him and said, and this is in verse 10, if the relationship of a man with his wife is like this, it's better not to marry. And what's interesting about their response is they had such a poor view of marriage that they said, Well, if I can't get out of this anytime I want, maybe it's better that I never marry. And Jesus is going to use that as an opportunity to say, Well, you know what? There are those who who aren't going to be married. And so this is what he says in verse 11. Not everyone can accept the saying, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother's wombs, there were eunuchs who were made by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves that way because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who is able to accept it should accept it. And so in their response is, well, if this is how marriage is going to be, maybe it's better for me to stay single. Jesus is going to say, Well, not everyone can accept this, but here's what you need to understand. First, there are those who are born as eunuchs, are born without the ability, because of some physical limitation, to be able to have children, uh, to be able to have that desire to be married, and that's the way that they're born. That's the way that they're made. The second thing that he says is there are those who are eunuchs because of men. And so in that day and time, kings would take young men and they would castrate them, and that way they would not be able to have any type of sexual intercourse, and they would do that to them, so that way they could take care of their harem, their wives, their concubines, and there was no fear of these men being able to have inappropriate relationships or doing anything with them. Well, the third thing that Jesus is talking about goes more into line here with the question. And he said, There are those who have made themselves that way because of the kingdom of heaven. And so he's saying, there are those who forego marriage because they want to commit themselves to God and ministry in a way that marriage and that type of familial relationships would get in the way of their service. Now, this is what the Apostle Paul talks about in 1 Corinthians chapter 7, when he is speaking about marriage, about divorce, about remarriage, but then he goes in to talk about those who it would be better for them not to marry at all. He says, I wish more of you would be like me. And the Apostle Paul here is saying that he's not in a state of marriage because that responsibility would hinder his ability to minister and to perform the ministry that God has for him. Now, this apostle that says it's better for some of you not to marry, and he wishes more of you would be like me, is the same apostle that esteems marriage very highly. He's the same apostle that speaks about marriage being the ultimate display of the gospel, the covenant love between Christ and the church in Ephesians 5. And he's not in any way saying that people shouldn't get married or marriage is a bad thing. But he is explaining that marriage is a level of responsibility. It's a level of commitment. Having children is a level of responsibility and commitment that if you don't have that, there's a type of ministry and way you can commit yourself to the ministry to be able to do. And so I've heard people say it like this there's those who are single for a season and those who are single for a reason. And that that wording sometimes can kind of bother people, but I think there is a good point behind it because some people will be single in life, and it's a season. They have a desire for marriage, and that season can be longer and shorter in some people's lives. I mean, there are people who are well into their late years of adulthood before they finally find that person to get married to, but there's a desire in their heart for that, and God blesses them with it. And there are those who are single for a reason who say, you know what, I don't have that desire, or that desire is secondary to the calling I have to serve the Lord. And as such, I'm gonna put that to the side because I want my focus to be on serving the Lord. And so, how do we know if we have the gift of celibacy? Well, I it it's hard to know that. I think one is if I don't have a desire for marriage at all, there's a probably a pretty good chance that God has given you that gift. Because I think the fact that there's not a desire for that. Maybe you have that desire, but God has not given you the opportunity for that. And for whatever reason, you just can't find it. And I would say to any person who's in that camp, don't just settle to marry someone because you have that desire, but trust God. And if the right person doesn't come along, then look at what the Apostle Paul says. And you know what, there is a blessing to singleness that enables you to serve. At the end of the day, I, you know, and part of the question that we received was about how do I know if I have this gift? And I just don't know if it's that simple to look and say, well, you've got the gift. I think there are signs though that would tell us that. Here's what I do know though. If you're married, you don't have the gift. Because if you are married, God has given you someone to be responsible for, and your ministry now involves this person that you're married to. It involves this family that God has given you. And so whether you think you married the wrong person, whether you think you made a mistake, once you have a marriage, you have a marriage, and it's not to be tossed away or to the side, and you are called to walk in that faithfully, and that becomes an extension and part of the ministry that God has called you to. And so that being said, I hope this maybe sheds some light and some clarity. I do think that there is great benefit for those in the life of the church who are single. And I think in the church, we need to always be more mindful that not everyone needs to be married, not everyone's called to that. There's nothing wrong with people who don't get married or don't even desire that because the Bible actually applauds it and says it can be a good thing. I would say in singleness, we don't use it to do what we want to do and fulfill our dreams and hopes. The idea of singleness is devoting that time, energy to the Lord. And then at the same time, marriage is a beautiful thing. It's a great thing, and the majority of people are going to be called to that. And that's by God's design and plan in the world.

SPEAKER_01 10:14

Yeah, that's good. Well, thanks for coming to listen to another episode of the CUNY with Pastor Charlie Podcast. If you have more questions like these, you can send them in to questions at Vivershmore.com, and we'll see you next Friday.