Motherhood Moments: How to Support Postpartum Moms

Today I'm talking about what really touched my heart during my postpartum journey - and what can be really meaningful to new moms!

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hi, I'm Kirsten, fellow mom, and your biggest cheerleader in all things motherhood and parenting. My husband and I co-founded Parker Baby Co. with one mission in mind to nurture and grow strong families. And that mission continues right here on Rooted Conversations. So grab a cozy drink, take a deep breath, and remember you're not alone in this journey.

SPEAKER_01 0:25

Hey everyone, welcome back to Rooted Conversations. I am Kirsten Hiebner and I am the co-founder of Parker RubyCo. And I am doing today's or this month's monthly motherhood moments. And um this is really just a shorter episode of where I just talk about things about being a mom and it's um just me yapping, really, and about things that are on my heart and I want to share with you guys. And uh this month is about coming home from the hospital after having a baby and the things that I learned, and what I've learned from my friends, and what's been important. So um, this might be your experience, it might not be, it might be what you need, it might not be what you need. Um, that's the really interesting part about motherhood is in children, is one thing works for one mom or one child, and then it is the opposite for the next mom and the next child. So um know that whenever you are listening to other moms talk, that is what worked for them, or that is what worked for their child, and it is not at all a universal thing for you and your child. Uh, we are all just sharing our experiences and hoping that it helps one or two moms. So this is my experience, and um, I hope it helps someone or just someone that's trying to go help another mom or that and be there for them after they get home from having a baby. And it's because sometimes you just want to you want to help, you don't want to be in the way, and you want to make sure you're doing the right thing. So uh when I came home from the hospital, I needed my mom. Uh, nothing, I say this all the time, nothing makes you need your mom, like becoming a mom. I and I my heart hurt so bad for the women who don't have good relationships with their moms, because I need my mom all the time now that I'm a mom, especially in those early days when you're just floundering and you have no idea what you're doing. So that was like the first thing. Um, and it was just amazing when I was after I gave birth in the hospital, even everyone else was looking at the baby or the twins and checking them, saying, Oh my gosh, and loving on them. And my mom was looking at me and like making sure I was okay. Yes, of course, she loved my babies, but I was her number one focus. And there's nothing like that. When you come home from the hospital, that's the first thing that I need. And my mom was my mom. Um, my mom, when I came home from the hospital, with the twins had set up multiple diaper stations um all over the house. I had a C-section with the twins, so I couldn't really be going up and downstairs. So uh we put diaper stations everywhere. And with twins, obviously there's diapers all the time. And with any baby, there's diapers all the time. Uh, so my favorite diaper station, this sounds really terrible and gross, but in those early days, when it's just one baby, you're the twins or your first baby. We put a changing station on the kitchen table. Uh, this was really great because you didn't have to go upstairs to the nursery and it wasn't bending over the couch or like sitting on the floor. It was at um like waist high, or so you like you didn't have to be uncomfortable for all those diaper changes. It was way more comfortable than trying to like bend over a couch or sit on the floor. Uh, so that was really helpful, just so many different spots. Um, this was kind of the beginning of the idea for the diaper caddy, um, because we had just had so many different spots around the house. So at these different stations, we had like a lot of plush blankets underneath, like the pads, and then we had diapers, tons of diapers and wipes. My mom, of course, got mad that I didn't have a warm diaper or a wipe warmer, because that's the type of things that grandmas get offended by. Um, and then like, you know, the creams and everything was set up, ready to go when I got home from the hospital. So if you're a mother-in-law, or if you're a mother or like a grandma, or if you're a friend and you're trying to figure out what to do, that would be a great thing to sneak to their house or go not sneak. Don't don't sneak, go to their house and set something like that up so it's ready when they get home from the hospital. Um, dinners like a meal train or dinners. If you want to bring dinner, let them know. Ask them what days would be a good day. Don't don't like give them an option. Just say, I'm bringing you dinner, what day? Don't say, can I bring you dinner? Say, I am bringing you dinner. This is what I'm bringing. What day works best for you? Um, because if you say, can I bring you dinner? Most people will say, Oh, it's okay. And if you don't want to cook, send them a gift card. Send them an Uber Eats gift card so that it can be delivered. Uh, that's like when I have friends from like out of state, that is how I choose to help. Um, I send Uber Eats gift cards. And then when you do deliver the food, don't come in. And I always tell my friends too, don't worry. I am just gonna drop it at your door and I'll text you when I drop it off. Um, I'm not gonna come in. That way they don't have to worry about like timing and not having their boob out, or you know, I don't know, just worrying about anything. Like they're not trying to perform or be ready for you at all. Like you're just gonna leave it at the door and leave. And there's zero strings attached. I think that's really important too. Um, people say, like, don't just come to hold the baby, come and like help with something. Maybe that's what you want. I did not. I wanted people to come hold the baby so that I could go do laundry. Like, I was holding the baby all the time. Like, come hold my baby, come play with my kids so that I can go do the laundry, so I can go clean the bathroom, so I can go vacuum the basement. Like, I needed to do those things, and I wasn't gonna ask you to do my laundry. I was not gonna ask you to fold my laundry. Like, I don't care. I just was not gonna do that. I would rather have you hold my baby and I would do that and get a break, kind of like a little mental break of like going into my laundry room and doing that. Um, or shower. Like you say, I'm gonna hold your baby and watch the kids, you go take a shower. I think those are great things. And usually the mornings, I feel like like late mornings are the best time to offer to do that. Um, to do those things. Don't expect like social time. Like when you come to visit somebody, and as a mom, like it's okay to say, like, I can't, I don't have the capacity to talk. Like, I am so, I'm just I've got a lot going on. I've got a lot on my brain. Like, I'm not, I can't have social time. So just know as a visitor, like that's not gonna happen. Don't ever come empty-handed when you come see somebody. And I just needed, I needed somebody to come sit with me. I don't want you to talk about anything. I just want you to come sit with me or watch a show with me or watch a movie and hold my baby and maybe bring me food. Don't ask about sleep. Don't ask if my baby's sleeping. They're not. They're not sleeping, I'm not sleeping, my body is not sleeping. Don't don't ask about sleep. Ask about like probably anything else. Prayer requests. Um, ask about what's going well. Like what went really well today? What went really well yesterday for you and baby's name. Keep things on the positive. Or how can I prayer pray for you? Like, or when is the next time I can bring you food? And just keep bringing up the positive. Don't talk about when your baby started sleeping through the night. Don't don't do that. Good or bad. Don't be like, my baby didn't sleep through the night till a year, because that can be really depressing, also. So unless they bring it up, just don't. And it's important that you do encourage moms to talk about the way they're feeling. And moms, if you're comfortable with them, talk to people how you're feeling. Tell them it's okay to tell them how you're feeling. And then if you're there visiting, be there for them and say, yes, what you're feeling is normal. Just be there for them. And then if they need to talk to somebody else, if it's pretty bad, encourage them to talk to somebody else. But tell them that what they're feeling is normal. Good, bad, ugly. Because I promise you it is. It is all normal. Yeah. And then stock a nursing caddy for yourself, for a friend, because you can't get up a lot. So, and once you sit down and you get that baby latched, you do not want to get up again and try to get that baby latched, especially if there's pain involved. So have a nursing caddy ready with snacks, phone, phone charger, water, a journal. I'm trying to think what else. I put my pump in my nursing caddy. Uh, the like balms and ice packets and or like like um cooling things. And uh yeah, just anything that you need to like reach for so you don't have to get up. Like hair ties. Oh, hair ties are a big one. Make sure you have hair ties to get your hair out of your face or out of the baby's face. The remote. I always had a list of shows that I want, I would like save shows that I wanted to binge for when the baby was born, so I could sit and just binge watch shows. And your kids, it's okay to not do anything. There is a time, their life is ups and downs, and there's time. There are just times in life where your kids are gonna watch more TV than normal. And there are to be times in life when your kids don't do much screen time. But when a baby comes home, that is a time of screens. Uh so be okay with that. And if you're not a screen person, that that's fine. That's you, but I'm giving you permission sometimes. Me and my friends sometimes tell give each other permission, like yes, today is screen day. This is the time to do movies all day long. My mom would say that to me too. Like, it's okay to have your kids watch TV all day today. Um, and I'm telling you that mom to mom, uh it's okay for your kids to watch TV. Now, will you deal with behavior repercussions? Probably, probably, but you gotta do what you gotta do to get through some of those harder days. So that's kind of what I'm thinking, or ways to help moms that are coming home. So that's my that's mine. Um, our next rooted conversations is um like intentional grandparenting, so and what that looks like. And I'm interviewing um a grandparent in our our team, what that looks like for them. So that's something to look forward to. Anyways, I hope you guys have a lovely day, and uh I'm proud of you guys. If you're listening, I am so proud of you. You're amazing, and you're an amazing mom.

SPEAKER_00 12:21

Love you. Thank you so much for tuning in to Rooted Conversations. I hope this episode reminded you that you're growing, you're growing a strong family, and you're growing as a parent. One moment, one choice, and one hug at a time. I'll see you next time.