Parenting Horror Stories

Today my sister-in-law is joining me for a hilarious episode recounting our parenting horror stories, and talking through the stories you submitted on Instagram. Join us for a good laugh!

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hi, I'm Kristen, fellow mom, and your biggest cheerleader in all things motherhood and parenting. My husband and I co-founded Parker Baby Co. with one mission in mind to nurture and grow strong families. And that mission continues right here on Rooted Conversations. So grab a cozy drink, take a deep breath, and remember you're not alone in this journey. Hey everyone, welcome back to Rooted Conversations. I am Kirsten Hubner, um, co-founder of Parker Baby. And I am here with my sister-in-law and best friend Jess. And um we are just, I don't know, we're just we asked for what do we ask for? Horror stories of um parents and horror stories. You know, I think that's a loose term, you know, a funny horror stories of what has happened as parents, as moms with children. Cause if you don't laugh, you cry, right? Or you do both. Okay. You laugh. You cry first and then you laugh later.

SPEAKER_00 1:14

What's that like um real? It's like, I'm not crying, I'm yapping. It's like a little girl, and she's like, the parents are like, stop crying, and she's like, I'm not crying, I'm laughing. I feel that every day.

SPEAKER_01 1:26

Oh my gosh, yes. Oh have you had anything recently, Jess, that you're like, I don't know. I'm trying to think something that's been recent.

SPEAKER_00 1:37

You know, those like new things that are like editing my family vacation, like it's a reality show or something. I mean, that was kind of like the horror meme. But I was thinking about that the other, like I was trying to think about how to share. Um, I went to Sky Zone for a birthday party on uh Saturday, and Jack was out of town. Like this just the scenario is a horror story. So Jack has been out of town for a few days, always, and my five-year-old had this birthday party she was so excited to go to, and they even invited my three-year-old, which is really kind because of the third one. There's only like you have a little kid that's so close in age. Um, so they invited Leo, um, and they were so excited to go. But I had the baby, and he's 15 months, and I had to bring him with me at nap time because there was like no other choice, I just had to, and I felt like that just whole scenario horror story in itself. But we survived. We let the baby eat two cupcakes, he ate every piece of pizza he grabbed. I like you know, was Australia cycle, jumped. Did you pay for it later? No, it was it went really well, and actually they ate there, so then I didn't feel like I had to even like feed them that night, so it wasn't that big of a deal.

SPEAKER_01 2:48

Yeah, it's always like a coin flip with those things, like and that's why you do it, is because like it could go fine, or I could be on that.

SPEAKER_00 2:59

I could have gotten a babysitter, but I was like, eh, maybe not burn it. Maybe the baby would love it, and you know what? It's like a couple hours and it went fine. So yeah, I don't really want to see my like the preschool parents right today at pickup, but but it went fine. They're all like, I don't know how you do it with three, and I'm like, I don't know. I don't even watch the people with like winging it. My husband's fishing, um, anyways.

SPEAKER_01 3:25

Puke and poop, I feel like are kind of the bread and butter of horror stories for sure, um and trips, yeah, traveling with but like I feel like that's like a bonding of family vacations. Like it's like it's the stories that come out of it. Because I would never trade those moments for like the bonding that comes out of because I don't want to scare parents away from I guess what I'm saying is I don't want to scare parents away from taking those family vacations.

SPEAKER_00 3:55

Oh, for sure, right? Like you would never go back on it. I don't want to scare them either because I do have some fun ones the best, yeah. They're the absolute best for sure, for sure. And then you get so close when you travel as a family. I just like prefacing all of it because it's just you guys, and like I'm so excited because we have the June trip coming up, and we haven't done a family vacation that's like out of our like normal, like visiting families and stuff in a while.

SPEAKER_01 4:21

So I'm really excited for you guys. I know they're going to um like the panhandle of Florida, and it's like it's just such a fun family vacation, yeah. But yeah, the I think just and like you and your spouse being, I mean, you're always a team with your spouse, yeah. But the the extra teamwork and extra like problem solving, but then also being able to like laugh and figure things out and kind of the being outside of life, normalcy. I don't know, there's just something really special about it. Totally. So we're preface that because some of these probably have a lot of travel in these horror stories.

SPEAKER_00 5:05

Yeah, both of mine are travel related.

SPEAKER_01 5:08

So yeah, I have a one like that. So um, we um asked on Instagram for some some moms to submit some stories, so we're gonna pull some of those too. But um, Jess, you wanna start? I guess I'll go since you just shared your most recent kind of one, but um we we had okay, Jess. I didn't want to share this one. Jess said it was fine. But this is my worst mom fail of all time. And I don't think I'll ever top this one. I hope not, anyways. So I have four kids, and from what I hear, this is just kind of birth by fire as a mom of four. But um, my twins had a volleyball game after church, and so we are going, we are taking two cars to church on Sunday morning, and I think this is a universal dad experience, but like dads on Sunday mornings are like I'm leaving, be in the car, blah blah blah, and moms are like I'll be in the car, I'm leaving, blah blah and moms are like you know, trying to get to dress the children still and feed them and do all the things. So Sam's like in the truck and he just he leaves, and I have the girls, I'm like, okay, and I get the girls in the car and I see him leave. And so I I I leave with the three girls, and our youngest is is a boy. So I I get to church and Sam's sitting in the pew with my parents, and my mom goes, Where's Gus? And I said, I looked at Sam because I in my head I'm like, there's no freaking way Sam came to church without any children. Like, we have four of them, you all gotta carry why wouldn't you take children with you? And he looks at me like, Where's Gus? And I'm like, Oh my gosh. And so we live 15, 13 minutes away from church. So I run out to the car, and I'm driving like a bat out of hell out of church. And um Sam calls me and he's like, I just and we live in the country, so our our our uh neighbors are like a mile away from us, but maybe not a mile, yeah, probably a mile. Yeah, and he calls me and he's like person, our neighbor just called and asks if you know he said we have our he said we have Gus. But they're not home and their nephew is house sitting and they don't know Gus, like he didn't know Gus. And so Gus had ran to their house, and the nephew is outside like taking care of the goats or whatever. And Gus was like he just sees this little boy, like five-year-old boy, running up to him out of nowhere. And this guy was like, What? What do I do? Are you okay? And Gus was like, and he goes, Do you want me to call the police? And Gus, being Gus, was like, Hell yeah, call the police. I love policemen.

SPEAKER_00 8:32

We're well super into Home Alone at this moment.

SPEAKER_01 8:35

Like he so this was like February, January, February, and Gus loves Home Alone, like it is like his favorite movie. So this is just feeding into his like dream life, anyways. So he he's like, Yes, call the police. This is perfect. So the nephew calls the police, and so as I'm pulling up to the house, my neighbor's house, the police are pulling up to the house, and I'm like, oh my gosh. So I'm like, first I go to Gus and I'm like, Gus, I am so sorry, but I'm like crying, and he's like, fine, yeah, kids fine, and I'm I'm like turning to the police officer, and I'm like, I'm sorry, and I explained everything, and he was he nice to you? Oh, yeah. I mean, he was a little bit like can you tell me what's going on? Like what the heck happened, you know, as he should be. And but I, you know, as a mom, you go through every situation of what could have happened. Like, if he would have luckily Gus was because I've asked him a lot what had gone through his mind in that time of him running from our house, and he was like, Well, I was like walking on the street on the road, and it's kind of like it's not a dirt road, but it's like it's a paved road, but it's country road. And he was like, I was like, Well, I probably shouldn't be on the street, so I jumped the fence and he was like running through the field, and and I was like, Well, good thing because like was there snow on the ground? There was a little bit of snow, yeah, but not much in Colorado. You just don't have a ton of snow, but yeah, uh, so that's my worst mom story.

SPEAKER_00 10:21

Okay, I mean, don't feel bad. I mean, he was safe. I feel like at least he was at home, like where he is safe and like not out in public, like but the so the what happened was he had gone inside to get colors.

SPEAKER_01 10:36

So we had a like a video camera on the driveway. And you if you I have only watched it once because I cannot watch it, but he I'm like leaving the drive, he's running after you, and he's like chasing after me with his with the thing of crayons, and he just like drops them instead of running.

SPEAKER_00 10:58

Like everybody you've told, like seasoned parents that you've told this to all have like told you about a story similar, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 11:06

Yeah, but it it just sucks because we live so far away.

SPEAKER_00 11:10

You were like a ways away.

SPEAKER_01 11:12

Well, you know, yeah, but then like after forever after he was like, I'm Kevin McAllister. He would go to school and like tell his teacher how we left him home alone and how he's Kevin McAllister. Dreams came true. That's yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:34

So okay, do you want to read one? Yeah, okay. I wrote two down on my little notes app. So the first one was our first like family vacation as a family of four. So we have kids, but this is when we just had two. So Frankie was like just turned two, and Leo was like seven months or so, and we were going to San Diego for like a little beach vacation, like spring break time. And our old nanny slash like neighbor was taking us to the airport, which is like such a good cheat code. And um, we had matching uh like vacation shirts and dresses on. So we all had like the Hawaiian vibe, like shirt or whatever. I thought it was cute, was so excited. My daughter had a little dress on, and um she unfortunately we all know this is going, gets car sick in the end. So we've like tried everything, but this is like a straight shoot to the airport, like you're on straight roads, but for some reason that morning she got car sick. And as we were literally pulling in to drop off, she pukes all over herself, and like it was not salvageable, like all over the car seat, all over herself in her little matching dress. So, of course, I had spares, but not a spare Hawaiian in dress, so she had to go like a sweatshirt and leggings, and then literally everywhere through the airport, they'd be like, Oh my gosh, your family's matching. She burst tears because she did not have the matching outfit. Um, so that was super sad. She's not the one, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:02

She is not the one. Like Leo would have been fine, right?

SPEAKER_00 13:06

Baby wouldn't even care, or even a baby at two wouldn't even care. Leo at four wouldn't care. No, he'd be like, All right, my backup is your like my old Spider-Man t-shirt. Sweet, perfect, literally, like traumatized, and all of our family have so many pictures from that first day we made it to San Diego, and she is in like a backup sweatshirt. Um, actually, our like Nanny Blacksall, like she was so sad for us. Like, she loves Frankie that she was like, I'm gonna try to launder it and send it to you so you have it for the rest of it and all this stuff.

SPEAKER_01 13:38

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 13:39

I didn't we didn't end up doing that, we just never wore them again. But poor baby. Poor baby.

SPEAKER_01 13:48

All right, we have another one. Like, um, let's see. Let's skip the puke and poke for okay. This one I think we've all I don't know, Jess. Maybe I have I don't know if you've had one. I can't remember, but I feel like a lot of people have one of these. But um one about my firstborn falling off the bed or any other surface. For me, it was changing her on our bed and then turn to step over to grab the wipes from another spot and then heard a thud. I feel like I can he still hear that thud and remember all the thoughts of how I broke my baby. Now with four kids, I realize that they're so durable and resilient, but I still suck. It still sucks to learn that lesson that way.

SPEAKER_00 14:33

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 14:34

Did you did a baby ever fall off the couch or anything? Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:37

I think my the only one I can really remember when they were like really little traumatized me was actually Leo, and it was at my um husband's grandma's house, which then like grandma like guilted me the round too. But um, but yeah, I just remember that you never forget that thud on the floor. I can like hear it now because my I mean you still my kids fall and hit their heads, it's the worst feeling. Yes, I know. I never had one fall off the changing table, but that was always my scare because we have like one of those dressers, so it's like high. Oh yeah, that and stairs.

SPEAKER_01 15:09

I've had like some scary stairs.

SPEAKER_00 15:12

I know. Stairs ones are really scary. Leo as a toddler fell down. Yeah, I don't remember.

SPEAKER_01 15:17

I think I was there for that one.

SPEAKER_00 15:19

My mom said I went down the stairs in a walker, though.

SPEAKER_01 15:21

That's pretty bad. Yeah, I've heard those that my dad had a really bad one when he was little. That's why like they like have they like banned? No, but they're still walkers, aren't there? Yeah, people still have walkers, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:35

Those ones are scary. Did you have babies fall off?

SPEAKER_01 15:39

Yeah, I've had, and my um bed is pretty high off the ground. And twins were really hard to keep because they were like on, yeah, going different ways. So that was hard when they're on the bed trying to change them by myself. I just lived in my bedroom for a really long time by myself. I don't know how twin moms do it with other babies.

SPEAKER_00 16:04

Oh, yeah, if you would have had us along first, I guess you'd just change them on the floor.

SPEAKER_01 16:08

That's what I ended up doing later. But it's hard on your back changing that many diapers on the floor. Anyways, but yeah, that's a hard one. I think most parents go through.

SPEAKER_00 16:20

Yeah, all of a sudden your baby can roll. You know, you think they're good.

SPEAKER_01 16:24

And you think you're fast, you think you're just like turning around for a diaper.

SPEAKER_00 16:28

You know what that reader or or whoever should have had a diaper caddy and have to go somewhere for the wipes. Yeah, it's right there. Oh, I feel for moms who go through that.

SPEAKER_01 16:40

Yes. Okay, you want to go with your my next one. Other viewpoint.

SPEAKER_00 16:45

Other one I think I feel like I was just in travel mode, but was traveling. We um actually my husband has family in the UK, so we were all the way in London and we were coming home. And when I was like kind of the keeper of the tickets, and I get the flight, and I'm like, okay, it's at 11 a.m. We need to leave here by 9 a.m. or something. I don't know what I thought. But, anyways, I was off. Like one of those numbers was wrong. So by the time we were about to leave, I was like, oh no, our flight an hour and a half, and we are like quite a ways away. So we had to go drop off a rental car and get to the airport. So we're just like really cutting it close. And we shuttle, or I think it was uh an Uber or whatever from the car drop-off to because it was like off-site car drop-off, to the airport. Um, and again, my daughter is like and she didn't really say anything, but she's telling me once we get then we like weasel our way to the front. Like, luckily, people are so nice to us. We were like late, they all let us like cut to the front of like check-in at the airport. And my daughter's like, I really don't feel good. And I just saw that look in her eyes where she's like pale, and you're just like, oh my gosh. Then I like rip off the top of it, and so she just threw up in this little snack cup, but then there was no trash can, and I had to like stay there because we have all of our stuff, and I'm like like run through half the airport with uh puke and a snack cup, and then we ran the whole way, like Jack ran ahead of us to stop the airplane, you know, and then I had the stroller, and we had to run, we had like weeze way through front of security, and we just we literally like ran and were soaking wet for that before that like nine-hour flight. So that was fun, but yeah, not ideal, but we made it through.

SPEAKER_01 18:23

Yeah. The other one I was thinking about too was how you were with us.

SPEAKER_02 18:30

You were with us.

SPEAKER_01 18:31

We were at the family reunion in Illinois, and it was like at this, we were at like the pool area, and there's like a spa outside like the pool area, and Gus just like walked out of the pool area and started peeing in like the courtyard, and the ladies came walking out of the spa area, and Gus had was like peeing.

SPEAKER_00 18:50

Just oh, I don't think I was there.

SPEAKER_01 18:54

I a lot of mine include Gus, and I don't know if it's because Gus is Gus or if it's like he's the just most recent one. It's probably a little bit of both.

SPEAKER_00 19:04

A little bit of both. Mine are all like Frankie, I mean, puke, literally puking. The only other I was like talking to Ryan about this, our colleague on the phone, and he was like, Well, what last time you were on the airplane and the XYZ happened? And I'm like, Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 19:17

That one was so that one is really funny. You should tell that one. That one, like, I those are the ones that while you're in it, you're like, why?

SPEAKER_00 19:26

Yeah, you still go again. I mean, yeah, I'm a little scarred. I'm a little scarred by this one, but it's another travel and puke because this one was last like October. We're coming to Ann Arbor, um, Michigan to Denver. And actually, we flew out of Detroit. Um, and um, that morning my daughter had an upset stomach and she just wasn't feeling very good. Um, and I had an upset, kind of an upset stomach, wasn't feeling great, but we had a really early, so we go to the airport on the flight, and I'm like not feeling great. Um, and we buy three seats and the one across the aisle because we had the lap child, and we're like, we'll just pass the lap fourth, he was still pretty little, and we had a whole row, which was nice. So I was sitting in my own row with the two kids and the baby on my lap to like nurse him at takeoff and landing, but I start to like we're taking off and like feeling sick. And I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm like panicking, like you know, you're like panicking looking for like puke bags, and I'm like looking for puke bags. I don't have any. I'm like, I turn to Jack and I'm like holding the baby, two kids in between us, we can that the window see, so I can have coverage when I nurse. And I'm like, Jack, you gotta go find me a bag. And he's like looking in his, he doesn't have any, he doesn't come back, he doesn't come back, and I'm like panicking. I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm getting sicker and sicker. And finally, uh flight attendant comes back to me and she and she has a like, oh thank you. Like my husband was going to get me one. She's like, Oh, um, he's actually in the back, and I think he got sick, and he was in the back every day for like 10 minutes till we had a stomach drug roll through, and yeah, that about broke me. That about broke broke me. But I made that one. Yeah, I mean, cleaning a throw-up is just that was a rough one. Yeah, throw up's hard. It's a tough one. Yeah, it's tough.

SPEAKER_01 21:10

That's a tough one. Um, okay, here's a another Instagram one. Um, and I feel like this is another universal one, I think. But giving my son a bath and found a little turd floating.

SPEAKER_00 21:24

Yeah, at least at least it was solid. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:29

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00 21:29

First, oh yes. I've like lots of lots of lots of pee in the bathtub, but that one's not ideal. Yeah, obviously. I mean, a solid poop is like ideal. Yeah, that's the best case scenario. Yeah, probably pretty alarming the first like childly. I think like my first child, like, you know, if there's a little pea in the time, I would like rinse, like in the whole tub, rinse it out, chlorox it, right, refill it, and now I'm just kind of like, well, scoop that area out a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 22:00

Yeah, sterile. Oh my gosh, it's sunny. Okay, um, another one. With our first baby, my wife was nursing her in bed and then letting her co-sleep with her. All my kids run hot, and it's like a little mini heater being attached to you. So when she woke up to get out of bed, she was a little surprised to feel how warm they were and a little sweaty. She pulls back to cut the covers to reveal that little nugget had the biggest blowout ever, and that was not sweat. Ew, that's so gross.

SPEAKER_00 22:31

I've had a lot of those like where I'm holding them, not quite in my bed. Yeah. But where I'm like holding them, it looks kind of sweaty, and you're like finally looked down. You're like, oh.

SPEAKER_01 22:40

Well, that happened. We've had a lot of memories together, but Sam holding Frankie at baptism. At Leo's baptism. At Leo's baptism, Sam was holding Frankie. Or what? Yeah. And Sam looks down, and Frankie had had a blowout on him.

SPEAKER_00 22:58

No, I don't think he got it on him, but it was definitely all over her. And that was when we're like she's in a beautiful dress because we were taking like why does it always happen at baptism?

SPEAKER_01 23:09

Like all my kids had blowouts like on their white clothes at baptism on the way to Ozzy's baptism.

SPEAKER_00 23:14

Frankie puked in the car. She's kind of out of it. We just have those butts everywhere. I know. Those baptism ones, she's in like a like my backup clothes were not cute, and she's like, she's in like a sweatshirt. I don't know. Cuter backup clothes. That's pretty gross. In the bed.

SPEAKER_01 23:37

The worst is the car seat, though. I know. In a car seat. That's just the absolute worst. I'm like, I'm so I'm totally the person that when food is sitting in Tupperware for too long, especially if it's plastic, I just I'm like, nope, just throw it away. Yeah. I'm so much the thought goes through my head, just throw the car seat away. Like, I just don't even want it.

SPEAKER_00 24:00

I know. We have like, I mean, the booth, well, our big car seats are really expensive, so we clean the I know.

SPEAKER_01 24:06

You've thought about it. Just throw it away.

SPEAKER_00 24:08

I'm all about like throwing away the clothes, or like although one time, well, I had these like brand new Hanson Halloween pajamas that matched kids, and it was the beginning of October. And I remember Jack's cousin watched Leo for us, and he had a little bonnet, and he was like, Oh, yeah, so I just threw them away. And I like made him go into his trash and find them, and it was like this much poop, like it was not very much.

SPEAKER_01 24:33

But okay, remember when I was potty training the twins and they were on the tower, and they were okay. So we had like one of those towers, you know, that the kids can like climb up on. And Jess was just and Jack were visiting, and they had brought their dog Bentley, and the twin I was potty training the twins so they didn't have underwear on. And I don't remember, I'm not gonna say names. One of my children pooped onto the tower, and Bentley ate it.

SPEAKER_00 25:07

Yeah, that was really gross. I love to think that's the only time he's ever eaten human poop.

SPEAKER_01 25:14

Actually, probably was. Oh my gosh. Good times, good times. Um, okay, another one. Um, my oldest was competing in a cross-country race, and I was taught toting the other three kids. My youngest was two and was hanging in our double stroller with our thirdborn. We were jogging from one viewing point to the other um spot, and I was watching my daughter running and didn't notice my youngest wanted to get out and walk on my own. Walk on my own. So she slipped off and I ran over her with the stroller. I won't forget that speed bump feeling as well as the tires rolled over her.

SPEAKER_00 25:56

That was so funny. I know. I was trying to think of stroller once too, because have you had anything like that? You know what? So remember when you always had that land in Franktown, Jack had a my husband has a dirt bike, so he likes anytime there's like an opportunity to take his dirt bike and ride somewhere, he's gonna do that. You guys used to have like 30, what, like 30 acres or something, and you were out of town, you're like, you guys are welcome to go down there because Jack really wanted to dirt bike. And we just had Frankie, and so I put her in like one of those radio fire, like it was a brand new like um wagon, but it was soft-sided, those like red radio fire ones that are soft-sided, and that land out there was like spiky, like I don't know, like after winter or something, like it was like spiky, crunchy. So I was like, okay, I'll just have her sit in the wagon and we'll just like hang out. We have like brought like snacks and we're hanging out enjoying the nice day, and those sides were soft, just right out of the side. Like, I was going off to like literally videotape, like so stupid, and she just like literally rolls right out onto like you know, twitch ants, and right out of that. She was fine, she was fine. They are so resilient though.

SPEAKER_01 27:03

Oh, yeah, they are the recently we went we were in Seattle, and all the cousins were playing on the playground, and my daughter like went to like I don't know, lay back and she knocked her head on one of the play structures, and I was out, I don't know, walking, I was walking around with my sister-in-law, not not this sister-in-law, but and um I come back and they're like Greta split her head open. And and I and Ben, my brother-in-law, is a trauma surgeon, and so I don't panic nearly as much when Ben's around, which is really nice. But and I go over and Ben's like, it's fine. That's not true. Ben Ben does not have good bedside manner, he was not talking to me like that. That that's not right.

SPEAKER_00 28:01

No, he wasn't comforting you, yeah. Oh, I'm sure he has good bedside manner with uh patience.

SPEAKER_01 28:07

Okay, yes, with patience, I'm sure. But um he was like he did say she's fine. He did say that. I I'm being chill the heck out, yeah. He was like, come on, here's blah blah blah. And he but she had braided, she had a slit down the back of her head, and he had MacGyvered braided her head shut, like taken her hair and like braided her head shut, and said that that'll be good enough. Well, I mean it's on the back of her head, so it doesn't matter what it looks like, right? And and I was like, okay. So that was so he's like, if you care what it looks like, we can go to the emergency room.

SPEAKER_00 28:47

And so Greta just walked around with a clump of bloody head, so you can't even like wash it like the hair. And um, that just happened with Frankie. She fell off our bouncy house in the basement. Seriously, you didn't know about that? No, that was probably like two months ago, no, three months ago a while, a little longer. It was, but it was after that Seattle trip. And we had the bouncy house in the basement. She fell off of it, and then oh yeah, the back of her head um whatever split open and it didn't seem to be that big, but we were like, you know, you know, 7 p night or something, and we're like, well, should we go to the ER? And blah, blah, blah. And I uh I remember that Ben did that with the hair, but I was like, I don't know if Jack, and if Jack's alarmed, then I'm alarmed because it's like, well, maybe I should like, oh, oh my gosh, like, are we that worried? Okay, go. Because he was the one dealing with her. And on the way to the ER, he called Ben and like, don't take her to the ER. Like, it's gonna be too traumatic. Like, you know, send me pictures of it, clean it up best you can, and then tie. He did, he tied little knots with her hair to her to close it. Yeah, because you don't need like plastics over because you're not worried about a scar right there necessarily, it doesn't need to be neat, yeah. And honestly, it'd be more traumatic to bring them to the ER and have them get like a shot and then stitch, like maybe a couple stitches.

SPEAKER_01 29:59

Yes, totally, and they'd have to shave their head too there.

SPEAKER_00 30:03

Well, yeah, that'd be so traumatic.

SPEAKER_01 30:05

They'd have to cut their hair there. I know. So, but I just thought that was cool. It's like cool, Ben, just braiding her head shut. That's so cool.

SPEAKER_00 30:13

I got this, and she was so sweet, and she, yeah, she was so brave.

SPEAKER_01 30:17

Yeah, Greta and Frankie are like the last people that want a bloody knot on the back of their head, though, for multiple days at a time.

SPEAKER_00 30:24

Yeah, that doesn't feel good.

SPEAKER_01 30:26

They're like our very clean girlies.

SPEAKER_00 30:29

I know, and Frankie's like wear, just like pink, like just I'll send you pictures. I can't believe you didn't know about that. So light. I know. It was like pink shape. Well, we didn't go to the ER, thank goodness. That's really nice. Okay, well, was that all the stories?

SPEAKER_01 30:45

I don't know. I think that's all I have um for submissions, but yeah, I'm I don't think I mean I I have a thousand more that I could just sit down.

SPEAKER_00 30:53

I know, unfortunately, my gamble about puke and poop, so you know, those are probably my best.

SPEAKER_01 30:59

Um I I mean we've had so many, like how many times has Leo fallen off the couch?

SPEAKER_00 31:05

Yeah, Leo Leo just falls off anything because he doesn't boys. I feel like boys just are constantly like the dinner table, he falls off the chair probably 50% of the nights, just sitting or eating. He's gonna fall off the chair. Like, I don't even know.

SPEAKER_01 31:21

Yeah, because part of me is kind of thinking this episode is to make other moms feel like they're not alone, yeah, and yeah, that they're not doing anything wrong. No, you know. Oh, I've got one. Um poison control. Have you ever called poison control?

SPEAKER_00 31:42

No, no, but uh, there's many times where I'm like, I probably should have, maybe I should have called them. I've called poison control twice.

SPEAKER_01 31:50

Oh, really? And they are like the nicest people ever. They're used to moms called okay. So both were the twins, so first time mom things. Okay, so the first time was I had given Ava ibuprofen, like a baby ibuprofen, and Sam didn't know it, and so he gave her ibuprofen too like 10 minutes later. And I was like, over those things. So I called poison control. And of course they but they don't make you feel stupid or anything, like they're like the sweetest people, honest to God. Both time. Well, and every time I've talked to other people too that have called, that they're just like the best. So um, so I called for that, and then one time Ava drank, well, I don't know how much she actually got in her mouth, but drank hand sanitizer. And the guy was like, I mean, if she's acting drunk, that's like that would be a tell. He's like, but honestly, that stuff's terrible. Like, there's no way she like swallowed a lot enough of it to like make her well just last week.

SPEAKER_00 32:59

I mean, I'm glad they're nice though, because you're not calling poison control and you're fine, it's cure like I last week. Um, Ozzie was playing in our bathroom and he just gets into stuff, and like we didn't have to really baby proof with our other kids. They just Frankie was just so chill. We were like just not that interested in cabinets or whatever. And Ozzie is, but he comes up to me, he has like water on his face. He's like, Oh, oh voila, oh voila. And then I go into my bathroom to like finish getting ready. And Frankie's like um earring cleaner was like lopped open and on the floor. And I'm like, Oh, that's the water he was he was talking about. So I was then I was kind of like, uh, should I? But it's the same thing, like you don't ingest much. So I was like, should I poison control? Like, you know, like the stuff they give you at Claire's to like clean your ears.

SPEAKER_01 33:50

Gus was my only child that was really interested in the toilet. They would play in the toilet water. Did you have a c kid like that?

SPEAKER_00 33:57

I mean, Aussie. He's kind of growing out of it.

SPEAKER_01 34:00

Gus loved it. I had to like shut the door all the time because he loved the toilet water.

SPEAKER_00 34:05

He loves it and he loves well, he likes taking the, which isn't actually quite as gross, but taking the toilet paper and putting it in the toilet. So he'll clog that thing real fast. But like he likes that and he loves the dog water and the dog food. So we have to keep those doors shut like all the time. My dogs are always thirsty, they can't get in. I'm like, sorry. Yeah. Love dog food is water. Yeah, they're trouble. But yeah, I do feel like there's a ton of these, you're not alone. It's okay to freak out. Call poison control if you're questioned.

SPEAKER_01 34:35

I mean, they're nice, and they're not judgmental at all. And they don't, even if it's now looking back, I'm like, okay, ibuprofen. Like, but they don't make you feel like come on, like they're so nice. So call poison control, like if you want to.

SPEAKER_00 34:49

They sound like encouraging, good mom support. I like that.

SPEAKER_01 34:54

Very and they're they're not like alarming because sometimes I feel like when I call the doctor or the nurse's line or whatever, they're always like, just bring them in. Yeah, they just like want to cover themselves.

SPEAKER_00 35:06

They're like, yeah, right.

SPEAKER_01 35:07

And the poison control, I did not feel like that. Oh, that's good. That's really nice. I feel like if I would have called the nurse's line for both those instant, well, at least the um sanitizing situation, yeah, they probably would have been like, just bring them in.

SPEAKER_00 35:24

Yeah, let's just check them out or something. Which I don't even know what they would do. Yeah, yeah. What else? What's big? Because I just wanted to chat about Mother's Day.

SPEAKER_01 35:32

Okay, Mother's Day. Um, yeah, what's the plan? Oh, worst Mother's Day. Worst Mother's Day. What's your worst? You guys do Mother's Day like so big. Jack is so good with Mother's Day.

SPEAKER_00 35:47

Well, no, our thing is he makes me breakfast in bed, so I've always had a really good.

SPEAKER_01 35:51

Although but Jack does like great breakfast, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:54

So it's really nice. It's breakfast in bed, it's chill. And then one year I just found out I was pregnant. Like the worst one I can think of is I had just found I was pregnant with Ozzy, and he was the one who was like sick at four, and I was pu-puking most of that day. I remember that, yeah. So that was the quote unquote worst. But you've had not not ideal Mother's Day.

SPEAKER_01 36:13

Yeah, this last one was it last? I think it was this last one. Oh, I thought it was a couple years ago. I don't remember. It was this it was last year or the year before. I don't remember. But Sam was in it, must have been two years ago.

SPEAKER_00 36:25

That's what I think.

SPEAKER_01 36:26

Sam was in China, and um Gus was being so mean. He was so mean to me. And I can't now I can't even tell you. It's like bedtime, you know, like when and Sam, when Sam's gone in China, it's like a two and a half week thing, and it's also May, like the end of school. So every day every day I'm having to do something for the kids, um, activity day and field trips and events, yeah. Yeah, all the things, and it was bedtime. I just specifically remember bedtime, and he was being so mean. And I was just outside his door, just like crying. And the girls were like scared. The three girls kept like going into Gus's room and being like, Gus, like, you're you're hurting mommy, like you need to stop. And I don't know what was up with him. He was just like being, he wasn't like when I say he's being mean, it's not like he was like hitting me or like he was just being like on. He just like was not listening, yeah. He was just not listening and was like being defiant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I just needed, I just being Mother's Day and I wanted and alone for like two to be different. Yeah, yes, I wanted it to be different, and it was not, and so everything was heightened. And so him being defiant on that day when I was tired, and like and I was so tired. And so I I would like call Sam and I was like, I don't I called Sam and was like, put Gus on the line and was like, you need to talk to your son. And Sam, poor Sam was like, I don't feel bad for Sam. What am I saying? I was like, talk to your and he's like, I don't know what to do. He's like at dinner with clients, like this really fancy dinner, and he's like trying to talk to Gus. My dad almost came over to like spank Gus, like he was so mad. Everyone was like trying to help me because I could not. Sometimes you just can't pull it.

SPEAKER_00 38:25

I mean, not that it was your fault, but you just can't pull it together. You're just like, This is right.

SPEAKER_01 38:29

Oh, totally. It was totally my fault. Your fault. It was 100% my fault. My mental space was just not okay. Um, I was the adult in this situation, and I just could not figure it out.

SPEAKER_00 38:41

Um at the end, your wit's end, if you want to.

SPEAKER_01 38:43

But yeah, that was that one.

SPEAKER_00 38:45

I know.

SPEAKER_01 38:45

Yes. What's your ideal Mother's Day, like dream mother's day?

SPEAKER_00 38:49

Probably, I mean, I wish I wish you guys were in town still. Like, I loved that one Mother's Day. I think Frankie, it was my first Mother's Day, maybe. And we and Amy even went to my parents' house. Do you remember that day? Oh, yeah, I do remember that. Do you remember that Mother's Day? So I think that morning it was my first Mother's Day, and Frankie was a very tough baby. And I remember just like um, but Jack would meet a nurse, and then I just had a break from her because I just like she was only a few months old. But um, yeah, and then we so I had breakfast in bed and it was so nice, and then we all went to my parents' house for dinner there, and I just remember feeling like really supported by their moms, so that was really nice for me. But my ideal Mother's Day is probably just like you know, breakfast at bed, there's nice, maybe do some gardening. We usually plant other's day, do some flowers or the vegetable garden, and then dinner that I don't have don't have to cook enough would be nice.

SPEAKER_01 39:46

But yeah, I yeah, that's always my big one. Like, I really don't care about any just don't make me cook.

SPEAKER_00 39:52

Yeah, and I like cooking. Any meal, yeah, I don't wanna think about it, cook. I don't want to do any of that.

SPEAKER_01 39:58

Oh no, that's literally the only thing I don't I do not want to do any of that.

SPEAKER_00 40:02

And honestly, I'm just like a ti am I just like a tired lazy girl. I just would like to be at like 10 a.m. Like just watch. I usually like to watch like I mean Frankie ends up in bed with me having breakfast most times, especially like ooh, I like this. So I think we get like every year she's up eating breakfast in bed with me, but I put on like a girly like the parent trap or I don't know, like something thing comfy and speaking of, have you watched Withering Heights yet? No. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 40:30

Do I need so good?

SPEAKER_00 40:31

What is Withering Heights?

SPEAKER_01 40:32

It's the one with um what's his face and Margot Robbie.

SPEAKER_00 40:37

Oh, really? Uh is this the one that everyone's crying and they're like food cording? You know, I'm under a rug. Uh tired.

SPEAKER_01 40:43

Okay, well, anyways, I hope you guys feel supported that your hard days um and your horror stories are normal. And even if they weren't mentioned today, your silly horror stories are probably you're not alone in those. So um, thank you for being here. And um next month, I'm not sure what next month is. So it's a surprise. Um and uh yeah, thanks for being here. We'll see you next time. Thank you. Thanks, Jess, for being here. Bye. Bye. Thank you so much for tuning in to Rooted Conversations. I hope this episode reminded you that you're growing, you're growing a strong family, and you're growing as a parent. One moment, one choice, and one hug at a time. I'll see you next time.