Shalom everyone and thank you for joining me in the study of Parashat Matot Masei, the last two parashat in Sefer Bamidbar in the Book of Numbers. Today we will try to discuss, try to understand, to really delve into the depth of an expression of nedarim, vows. There is a difference between a vow and an oath. We will not discuss that today. But try to understand exactly how it works. A person says, I will not, I'm taking upon myself a vow not to touch something, not to eat something, not to go to somewhere, and then that's it. Whatever he or she took upon themselves becomes a reality for them. Which means if someone says I'm taking a vow, I'm making myself in such a way that I will not be able to eat that apple, that apple becomes basically prohibited for that person to eat. But nothing changed in the apple. How exactly a vow works? And in addition, if someone would like to undo a vow, to nullify a vow, how does it work? After you make something prohibited, how can you unprohibit it? How can you, in a way, take away the prohibition that was applied on that object because of what you said? So it's a bit complicated issue, and we will try to simplify it and obviously derive some understanding and some lessons from it. So let's start with the beginning of Parashat Matot. So Moses talked to the head of the tribes, saying to them, this is what God commended me. If a person will take a vow upon himself or will take an oath, he should not desecrate his word. If you gave a word, if you say something, you meant it, do it. Whatever came out of your mouth, you should do it. And if a woman will take a vow upon herself when she was still not married, the father has the ability to nullify his daughter's vows, but if he did not, they apply on her exactly like it applies on any other man. So what do we have here? The idea, the focus, the emphasis is lo yachel dvaro keyotzemi piviase, which means you should not desecrate your word, lo yachel, it means lolel, not to desecrate, and also from the word chulin, mundane, which means if you took a vow, you created some kind of sanctity, holiness. And if you will violate it, in a way you make it mundane, you dismiss the holiness in it, which is obviously very similar to the idea of desecration. So, in a way, the Torah says, look, you need to be very careful about what you say, and if you say something, and if you took upon it upon yourself with a vow, you need to know that you need to what? You need to fulfill it. You can't say, ah, it was a joke. You need to be very serious about what you say. Now, this is one topic. There is a second topic, which I will call it a secondary topic, that we will deal with that first. Why is it that Moshe is sharing this commandment and those laws regarding vows to the head of the tribes? Why not just to gather all the people like he always does, and uh and tell them, look, that's what Hashem said. If a person takes upon himself a vow, that's what he or she needs to do. Why specifically the head of the tribes? So Rapshim Shon Rafael Hirsch, in the 19th century, in Germany, says the following. Zayama amarchadash, it's a new paragraph. This is something very unique here. This is a mitzvah, this is a law, taking upon yourself a vow if you want. It's unique because you are not obligated to do it. It's in a way depends on your will. Some people can live until 120 years and never took a vow upon themselves. It does not mean that they didn't fulfill a mitzvah. This is in a way a conditional mitzvah if you are taking upon yourself a vow. That's what you need to do. Which is a category, it's like almost like a subcategory. You have the Torah and you have the mitzvot, the commandments, that you need to do them. It's not conditioned, it's not voluntarily based, you need to do them. Here you have another category of mitzvot, of commandments that a person take it upon them himself or herself. And therefore, it's almost like an amendment. It's something that was written at the end of the book of Numbers. The Torah gave us permission to add upon ourselves sorts of mitzvot so we can continue to keep all the other mitzvot as well. The Torah empowers the individual, the congregation, the nation to add restrictions in order to help us to fulfill the mitzvot with loyalty and with faith. So, Mishum Kach, because of that, or as a result of it. This is the reason, says Rapsim Shon Rafa Ali, why this why this narrative, why this parashah, why this commandment was basically given to the head of the tribes. Why? The word it can be a staff, but it also can be a tribe. The tribe is comprised by different branches. Every tribe has its own unique characteristic, but within the tribe you have different people with different characteristics, different venues. The head of the tribe, the head of the shevet, the head of the tribe is in charge of his tribe, which is comprised by all those people. Therefore, the head of the tribe needs to know, he needs to be the first one to know what should he do when one person of his tribe took upon himself or herself something extra, something out of the ordinary in terms of mitzvot. He says there is something very special, very unique with the idea of a vow. Let's think about it. Let's just simplify that. We used to say that, you know, I can say something, you can say something, so we have a conversation. I can say something that can hurt you, so I will create an insult. And you can say something to me and basically insult me. So we understand that there is power to what we say. Then we also know that when it comes to business, when we try to agree upon the price, and you say A and I say B, and at the end we we basically manage to come to a price that we are both happy or not happy with. So we're not going to write necessarily a contract. Most of the times we will, but sometimes and in different businesses, your world is a commitment. With vows, we have the third level, the highest level of the power of our speech, which is that I can create a prohibition. I can create, I will call it a virtual reality for myself. So if I say I'm taking a vow, I'm not, but I'm taking a vow not to drink water from that cup, I'm not allowed to drink anything from it. Now you can come ahead and drink it. Someone else can do it. I cannot, for me, this water are prohibited on me. Now, when one individual does it, and maybe another one, I, as the head of the tribe, and now I'm talking about Rapshim Shondafal Hirosh, I need to know how to handle those people. How to handle them when they created this virtual realities for themselves, which for them, by the way, it's not virtual, that's the reality. Nothing changed with the water, nothing changed with that glass. It just now they cannot drink the water. Now, when they want to change their mind, there need to be some kind of a process. There's also need to be some kind of um, I will call it uh some kind of uh accountability for that person when after he or she took a vow not to drink water from that glass. If they want to change their mind, they can't just change it like that because that's the wrong message. Oh, I can say whatever I want, I can create whatever I want, and then I can in a way destroy whatever I created without being accountable. No, no, no. You need to be accountable. And the way to create this accountability is you need to go to the head of the tribe, to the sages, and to tell them, look, I took upon myself a vow, now I want to change my mind. And they're going to what? To ask you, to investigate. Why? Why would you do that? Why do you want to nullify your vow? Do you understand the power of your speech? In a way, what Rhabsimson Afar Hirsch says is Moses spoke to the head of the tribes because they will be the ones to navigate those branches in their tribe who want to take upon themselves extra mitzvot and extra stringencies, and there is going to be a time that they will not would like to get rid of that. So, what is the process? The process first begins with the head of the tribes. That's what Rabshim Shon Rafael Hirsch wants to suggest. There are two different types of vows and oath. Some that relates more to the soul, to the Neshamah. So he says, first, when we talk about vows or oath, it's divided to two. One, things that are related to the soul, and then things that are related to the body, to the physical body. So let's talk about the soul. When you talk about the nishamah, vows that you that are associated with your nishamah with your soul, it's divided to two parts. One is that I'm taking upon myself a vow to encourage me to do more mitzvot. So, for example, I'm taking upon myself a vow to learn every day a Mishnah, a paragraph in the Talmud, a chapter in the Bible. I always need to do it, but by taking a vow, I'm putting myself in a framework, in a in an obligation that I need to do it. So it's encouraged me to do something good. The second component to it is that I'm taking upon myself a vow not to walk through that street. Why? Because in that street there are people who do not behave ethically, and I don't want to have anything to do with such a behavior. So one is to encourage me to do something good, the second component is to help me to avoid doing something which is not good. Now, when you take upon yourself a vow that is related and associated with your body, it's also divided to two. That's one component. And the second component is that I'm taking upon myself a vow not to drink from that glass or not to go to someone's house to eat. So basically, we have two categories: a vow that I'm taking that is related to my neshama to my soul and one to my body, and each one of them is divided to two. Okay. Your physical life by saying, taking a vow that I am going to eat something, or I am going to what? To avoid eating something. I'm going to be in that place, or I'm avoiding being in that place. And then you also have a vow that is related to the Neshamah. What I will call spiritual life. Part of it is to encourage you to do spiritual good deeds, and the other one is to avoid behavior or actions that will take away from your holiness. Now, based on this understanding, we can suggest that the idea of Nedel that was introduced first to the head of the tribes was in order to allow them first to understand the ability of everyone, not only them, but of everyone to recommit himself or herself to spiritual life, but also to affect their physical life. So the head of the tribes needs to know that something like that can happen. That's a B. We need to know that we have the ability to take upon ourselves something that we are not obligated and to behave based on the speech or the words that we committed to that reality that we wanted to create. So again, if I would like to wake up every morning at 5:30 in the morning in order to learn something before uh tfila, before going to uh the morning service, I always need to learn. But I'm just encouraging me, my encouraging myself to do more. And if, for example, I say I don't want to eat something or I would eat something, I'm putting myself in an obligation to a new reality. So if I want to pause here for a second before we see Raf Salovechik's take on vows, I think that we studied and we and we learned from Raphsim Show Nafal Yosh and Orachaim, A, we understand now a little bit more about vows and the all-encompassing idea of vows, it affects every part of your life. That's A. And B, that the head of the tribes needs to sense that when a person takes upon him or herself a vow, they need to know how to guide them and also how to help them if needed, if they need to nullify that vow. So what's behind all of it? So Raf Salovechik suggests the following. An isur kefsa, which means it applies on the object. The typical formula for a nether is, for example, the chair shall be prohibited to me just as a sacrifice. When a person comes along and stands up and says, the chair shall be prohibited to me just as a sacrifice. The halachic mechanism that renders a nether effective rests on man's ability to link the object he wishes to prohibit upon himself with an object that already carries a powerful ban on its use, a sacrifice. A sacrifice is dedicated entirely to God, with men restricted from gaining any benefit from it until the sacrifice is offered. This linkage, known in Halachic parlance, S hetfes. For this reason, when introducing the laws of nedarim in this verse, the Torah uses the term neder lashem, similar to the formula for setting aside a sacrifice, kurban lashem. So let's pause here. There is neder and there is shvu'ah. Nedir, says Raf Salovechik, a vow, is basically a formulation that I am saying this glass will be prohibited to me like a sacrifice. Like a sacrifice. The sacrifice itself is already holy, it's already prohibited, which means I create a link between the glass and the sacrifice. And then all the laws that apply on the sacrifice, holiness, prohibitions, all the rest of the laws applies also on this glass. Now, it's called in halakic terminology hatfasa. Hatfasa in Hebrew is to catch, which means everything that is that all the laws that lie on the sacrifice are catches on on this glass. Okay. In contrast to Nether, shvwa, an oath, involves what is known as an isur gavra, a prohibition that is dependent on the person himself, not on the object, on the person. A person has the power to prohibit an action upon himself. The formulation's emphasis being not on the on an object becoming prohibited, but on a prohibited action. The formula of shvua of an oath can be, for example, I will not go, I will not speak, I will not read, I will not give, I will not eat. A shvua requires no hatfassi. No association with an already prohibited object in order to become effective. This is specifically associated with schwa is derived from the phrase makes an oath to impose a prohibition upon himself. Rafsalovechik here says something which is really incredible in terms of clarity, and I hope it helps everyone. A vow, it's chefza, which means the object. And in order to make this object prohibited, I need to link it to something else that it already prohibited, a sacrifice. And then everything that applies on the sacrifice applies on this cup. Now, shvua, an oath. If I say I'm not going to drink it, I don't need to link it on anything. I myself, the person who took the vow, who took the shvua, sorry, who took the oath, basically what I do is that I myself create for myself a reality that this water is prohibited without linking it to anything else that is already prohibited. Now, why do I need to know all of that? Because of the following Raf Salovechik. Raf Salovechik, in his book on repentance, on page 206 to 21, it's a long article, it's a long essay. So I brought a bit of it in order to understand something very important. We just said that a person by taking a vow or an oath obligates himself or herself to a new reality. And therefore I would say, look, because it was your own will, deal with it. If you want to know the fight, deal with it, just don't do it. I didn't commend you to take a vow, you took it on your own will. It's your problem. Why would I help you? And how am I going to help you to, in a way, to desecrate the reality you created? So Rafsalovechik says the following. What is the distinction between an opening and remorse? According to Nachmanadis, cited by Rabbeinu Nissim, release from vows on the grounds of an opening is based on the notion that the vow was made in error. Release based on remorse is derived from the authority of the sage and not through an error in the vow itself. In both cases, the vow is void, me ikaro from its get-go from its beginning, but the illegal consequences are not necessarily the same. What is the difference? Not from a halachic, but from a psychological point of view between an opening and remote, as factors in the release of vows. We know what the definition of error is in the Torah. In case such as that, of hero cell or erroneous patrol, the reference is to a mistake in correct identification of the person or object concerned. I had someone or something in mind, and someone or something else turned out to have been there. In an error of this kind, there is no need to seek the release of the sage. When we speak of an opening, so before that, so let's talk about remorse. So let me try to simplify what he said. Someone took upon himself a vow not to talk to a person, unfortunately. He was angry with him, he disliked him, so he took upon himself a vow, I'm not talking to him. Then that person became part of his family. This person became his doctor. This person became his boss, whatever it is. And you know what? Maybe even none of that. He just looks upon himself and he says to himself, you know what? I was angry with that guy. I have remorse. I have regret. I don't want to hold this anger and rage against this person. I want to be his friend. For that. That's remorse. That's something that comes from you. You don't really need the sage. That's remorse. What's the opening? When we speak of an opening which the sage finds in the vow, according to what we may establish that the vow had a faulty basis, we're not referring to a case of erroneous factual identification, but rather to an error in judgment. The one who made the vow erred in his evaluation of the situation, in not foreseeing the consequence of his vow. Which means I took a vow not to speak to someone, and now I need him. I still might be angry with him, but I didn't know when I took the vow that I need that person. So I need the sage to tell me that now I can nullify the vow. The difference between opening and remorse is remorse is something that I don't need the sage to tell me that I have regrets on what I did. I miscalculated my emotional reaction to something and I let it really take the best out of me. But now I realize I made a mistake emotionally, and then I can take it back. The opening is cognitive, meaning I miscalculated. I never knew that this guy, that I took a vow not to talk to him, will become the best doctor, and I need him for a surgery. Totally miscalculation. And therefore, I need the sage to help me out. In release of vows through an opening, we are dealing with an error of the intellect which did not grasp the full significance nor anticipate the consequences of the vow. The release of opening is based on a rational process on logic, while the release of remorse is based on emotional factors. My feelings are not what they were at that time I made the vow, and now I regret making it. Before we see the Rebbe Milubavich, I would like to reiterate something that Rav Salovechik says. Raf Salovechik used this model of opening and remorse in the process of repentance. And this is really the message that I would like to encourage all of us to take from the vows. A, to understand what it means, but also to understand the mechanism and the psychological process of it. A person takes a vow mostly in two times or two conditions. One, tremendous stress. When a person is in danger, a person takes a vow. When a person is at risk, he takes a vow. And also when a person has plenty, he also sometimes takes a vow. So the two extremes. The thing is that these two extreme conditions and their effect and their I will call it their effect will fade after a while. So if someone was at risk and in danger and he took upon himself a vow, after he's not in danger anymore, those feelings will change. In a way, the Torah created an incredible mechanism to help you psychologically to overcome very stressful conditions. Or on the other hand, if you have plenty and you take a vow, upon yourself, a vow, I am going to uh give morz daka, and then sometimes that plenty fades away too, or sometimes circumstances change, or whatever it happened, and now you need to really nullify the vow. So the Torah says, says Raf Salovechik, you have two ways to nullify a vow, an opening and remotes. They are very much different. The remotes regret is emotional, the opening is cognitive. And he says the same thing with Shuva, with repentance. When it comes to repentance, you come to God and you say, I would like to be a better person. And you look at your transgressions and you look at your sins and you say to yourself, Whoa, Rega, one second. What did I do? Some of those sins I did just emotionally. I was angry with God, I was unhappy with my life, and I just dropped those mitzvot. Or cognitively, I totally miscalculated their significance. In these two ways, you can also come back to Hashem. Emotionally and cognitively. So that's how Ralf Salovechik understands the mechanism, the psychological mechanism of vows. The Rabbi Milubavich says in the Kutesi chod something incredible. The positive effect of using restraints and curves of to overcome the battle with the forces opposing holiness, even in the time when spiritual darkness becomes stronger, is twofold. Through restraints, a person distances himself from material orientation by avoiding the enemy. He does not allow it the opportunity to battle against holiness. So when you take upon yourself a vow in a way, you put yourself in a little box, you are totally not in contact with the enemy. Second, restraints draw down a higher godly light, and this empowers the forces of holiness. Similar concepts apply with regards to vows. Aside from the virtue of self-discipline associated with vows through which one can forestall to a certain degree the spiritual decline caused by excessive involvement with the material matters, vows elicit positive energy drawing down holiness. This is empowers a person, providing with providing him with added strength to confront the challenge of the forces opposing holiness. The Rabbi Milubavich looks at vows as additional restraints that show self-discipline, that shows that I can do it. Sometimes you need a little nudge, sometimes you need a little commitment, sometimes you need a little step to, you know what? If I will just say that I'm going to learn, I tried it yesterday and two days ago as well to study Torah. You know what? If I'm taking upon myself a vow, if I'm making this commitment, it's le havedil, it's very similar to you can talk about going to the gym, but if you don't sign up, you will definitely not go. Even after you sign up, sometimes you don't go. But the idea is make a commitment. Show that you can do it, show that you can overcome. In a way, the idea of vows that were was given to us at the beginning of the pasha is to empower us to see that we can. It's to empower us to see that we can overcome our deficiencies. The rabbi continues: if a person consecrates fruits as a sacrifice for the temple, even though fruit cannot be used for such purpose, it becomes holy and it's forbidden to eat it. This teaches us the magnificent power of speech. We are empowered to transform the mundane into holy, to elevate a simple beast into a sacrifice simply by stating such an intention. This is another component in vows, the ability with our speech to create a new reality. The word for violate in Hebrew comes from the word for profane or unholy, Yachel. The inner meaning of this verse is therefore that we should not make our words unholy. Even our mundane conversations should be imbued with holy intentions and be consistent with the greater purpose of creation, making a home for God in this world. I would like to take this last source of Rabimirubavic and really go back to the beginning of Bereshit. When God instilled the life in Adam, it says, What is this living soul? Unkelus, the Aramaic translator, says, Ruach Memalela, the ability to speak. The ability to speak does not distinguish us humans only from animals. It gives us a tremendous power. It gives us a tremendous ability to change realities, to create new realities, to encourage us to be the best we can be, to create holiness, to create commitments. Also with the understanding that sometimes we cannot stay in this elevated spiritual level. And we need sometimes to go down. So you have an opening and you have a remote. The Torah in Matotmas A to end Sephal Bamidbao. Sef al-Bamidbao, the Book of Numbers, was a book that we had so many, so much drama. And we spoke about the idea that Sephal Bamidbao, the Book of Numbers, is in a way a book that in a way empowered the Jewish people to be on their own and they take this ability to be independent, but but they have faults and they fail. And they try to be like those teenagers or young adults that try to become independent, but they are very dependent. And they need to find the balance, they need to find the formula that works for them. So at the end of numbers, we tell each one of us you have the power. You have the power to change reality, you have the power to create reality, you have the power to change yourself with one word, with one sentence. So how careful we need to be with this divine gift of speech, to know how to use it. To know how to use it in order, not, God forbid, to destroy things, but to create a better world for all of us. Thank you.