Why friends make the worst career advisors

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Transcript

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Hey, welcome back to Day Day Up, the weekly podcast for Chinese professionals navigating the Western workplace. I'm Jonathan. Let's get into it. You aren't even aware of how poor your communication is. It's hopeless to explain. Angela's manager's fist clenched as he said this to her, his lip curled with disgust. That's the picture she left me with in our last coaching session, as she described the hardest feedback of her career. So Angela did what most of us do when we're hurt and unsure. She asked around, should I quit? Of ten friends, eight told her to stay. Bad market, they said. A gap on your resume looks bad, they said. People would kill for your job, they said. You're so lucky. Tough it out. Take this as an opportunity to grow. And here's the thing about those eight friends. Every one of them was right. The market is brutal right now. Angela did have room to improve in communication. They're right, but their advice is wrong. When you ask someone for advice, they don't see your situation. They can't. They see their own job, their own mortgage, their own manager. When others give you advice, they aren't talking to you. They're talking to themselves. I know this because I lived it. Years ago, I took a role I knew was wrong by the first week. Some part of me knew on day one. But I told myself the same things her friends told her. Don't be dramatic. It's a good experience. Stick it out. So I waited. A whole year, because a year is the minimum time you need to take to not raise eyebrows, right? It ended after a heated meeting where I felt completely invisible. Afterward, I asked my manager a simple question. If I leave this role, will you backfill it? He couldn't give me a straight answer. That was the moment I understood. I had spent over a year in a role the company didn't even need. A year where my skills devolved, my confidence drained, and I worked for the worst manager I've ever had. It cost me two more years after that to really put it behind me. After quitting the job, I often found myself spending 30 minutes preparing for a 30-minute one-to-one with my manager, armpits of my shirt soaked. She was kind and supportive, but the shadow of my previous manager lingered. As I write this, Angela still hasn't decided. The future is scary, and the job market is rough, and I won't pretend I know her answer. But she's finally asking the right question. Not what would you do? But what is staying doing to me? Alright, that's your growth tip for this week. Now let's take a melon break. Let's go back to the movies, summer movie calendar 2026. From Toy Story 5 to The Odyssey, Josh AP News. When's the last time you went out to the movies? For a few years now, the story about Hollywood has been the same sad song. Streaming crippled theaters, COVID put them on life support, the big screen is dying. Well, if there's one thing Hollywood likes, it's a comeback. This is looking like the comeback summer the movies needed. Through late May 2026, ticket sales hit 3.02 billion, a 16% jump from the same period last year. The Mandalorian and Grogu opened to around $100 million over Memorial Day weekend. A small horror movie called Obsession, made by a former YouTuber, has quietly become one of the box office success stories of the year, and the summers now on pace to match the roughly $4.3 billion total of summer 2019, basically, pre-pandemic levels, and the heavy hitters haven't even arrived yet. Toy Story 5, Supergirl, and the Odyssey are all still loading. Personally, as a Christopher Nolan fan, I'm excited for the Odyssey, casting controversy or not. Turns out people never stopped wanting to sit in a dark room with strangers and a giant bucket of popcorn. They were just waiting for something worth showing up for. Here's how you can bring this up naturally during small talk with coworkers. Did you see the box office numbers this year? Everyone kept saying movie theaters were dying, and now it's somehow having one of its best summers in years. Have you seen anything this year? Do you plan to see anything? With your boss. It's a fascinating reversal. For years the narrative was that streaming had permanently killed theaters. But 2026 is up double digits and tracking toward pre-pandemic numbers. It's a good reminder that a dying narrative often just has a quality problem, not a demand problem. Daity Up is written, produced, and hosted with love by me, Jonathan Lee. To learn more, check out my free weekly newsletter for communicating in the Western workplace, read by over 2,000 Chinese professionals. Just search Daily Up Jonathan and you will find me. That's all for today. See you next Sunday with the Chisang Shao Hoban.