Dolores: Work changes. So do we.

Work changes. So do we.

In Part 1 of this two-episode arc, Kristin sits down with her mom, Dolores (she/her), to explore a life built in classrooms and the way work evolves as people do. Dolores shares how she felt called to teach at an early age, and how her career unfolded through shifting curriculums, school politics, and dramatically different parent dynamics. She reflects on the joy of whole-language learning, the inequities between systemically underfunded and affluent schools, and her unexpected pivot into becoming a technology teacher; eventually creating a student-run news broadcast that became a beloved “happy place” for kids across the building.

She also speaks candidly about a deeply personal chapter: the years when one of her daughters was struggling, and how she channeled that grief and uncertainty into mentoring students who needed extra care and attention. Her story is a reminder that the work we do is never separate from the lives we live, and that small acts of care can leave lasting impact. Next week in Part 2, the conversation turns to what came after the classroom: retirement, loss, and the process of rebuilding a full life beyond a long career.

Transcript

Kristin: 0:03

Welcome to Everything Counts But Nothing Is Real, a podcast about careers, detours, and the absurdity of work. Here we explore the twists, the pivots, and the tiny choices that shape our work lives with humor, feminism, and honesty. I'm your host, Kristen. Let's get into it. Hello and welcome to Everything Counts But Nothing Is Real. Today's guest is someone super special because it's my mom. My mom is a lifelong educator. Then she did something that a lot of us were not familiar with, which is called retiring. And she went on to have a whole new second chapter. And I kind of want to dig into all of it. So we're going to talk about education, the good, the bad, the ugly. We're going to talk about what it means to transition through like life and loss. We're going to talk about what she's up to these days. And somewhere in there, we'll really talk about what it means to have a calling because you're one of the few people I've ever considered to have an actual calling. Dolores, she her, is a lifelong educator whose classrooms have ranged from Texas elementary schools to virtual lessons for students in China. Now retired, she continues to create spaces where people feel seen, supported, and at home. Mom, welcome to the show. Thank you. I'm excited. Okay, I want you to just tell us like the cliffs notes of your career path.

Dolores: 1:31

I think I knew I wanted to be a teacher as far back as fifth or sixth grade, maybe further than that, but I remember an assignment where we had to write down the tools that we would need in our career. And me telling my teacher, I just need a pencil. She said, What career are you talking about? So I remember because I'm going to be a teacher. Um, and I wanted to be that. And then I got into high school and suddenly I wanted to be a public relations person. Oh, yeah, you wanted to be a business lady. I did. And I was going to put out PR releases and maybe work for famous people. I don't know if I even knew exactly what that meant. But when I started college, I started as a business major, public relations. So my first business administration class, I walked in there, huge auditorium, 300 people. The lecture sounded like blah, blah, blah. And I knew right then, no, I have to go back to education and teaching.

Kristin: 2:33

Did you like kids?

Dolores: 2:35

Like, you know, did you did you like grow up liking kids? I don't know that I was around younger kids, other, you know, I was around my siblings, have one younger sibling. I don't know. I do feel like teaching is in my blood. Like my grandmother was a teacher. But the story was that my grandmother came into town on the train as the new school teacher for this small town. My grandfather's father, so my great-grandfather was on the school board, sent my grandfather to the train to go pick up the new school teacher. And they met, boom. So my my grandmother was a school teacher. I know there was at least one aunt. Um, you know, I just think it was somehow in my blood. Maybe that's what directed me that way.

Kristin: 3:25

Can you talk to us about what your astrological sign is and your placement of birth in your family?

Dolores: 3:31

I am a Capricorn. Whatever that means. I know little bits and pieces. And my birth order, I am the third of four. I consider myself a middle child, even though there are four of us, because there's the oldest is my brother, the only boy. Then there's my sister, the oldest girl. Then there was the other sister, the youngest girl. So my only label is middle child.

Kristin: 3:58

Okay, thank you for clarifying that. That's like good groundwork. Also, I'm a Capricorn, and a lot of my first few episodes of guests are gonna be Capricorns. So we hang together. I think I have a type, and it might be your fault for raising me. Probably is my fault. Okay, mom, you taught for years before you started teaching second grade, but second grade is really like my mile marker because you started teaching second grade when I was in second grade. Right. And then you did that until I think I was very much an adult when you transitioned, which we'll get to. But you taught my friends, you taught my sister's friends, people to this day that I knew in second grade remember you and remember things that you know you taught them. But what was that like balancing that growing up? Balancing like you saw our friends and you saw us.

Dolores: 4:48

There's just a lot there, probably. I think I remember specifically a couple of incidents. Once you had a friend come over. I didn't really think anything about it at the time, but she walked in and then she was, I don't know, in awe or suddenly like You were a celebrity? I don't know what to think. She was like, I'm in the house of Mrs. Gardner and looking all around and like it's it's nothing special, but you know, okay. The other funny thing is that your dad would go pick you up from friends' houses and he felt like a celebrity. Like he felt like he was married to a celebrity. Because they'd be like, What? You're a Mr. Gardner? Oh and it was he would come home just laughing, like, oh my goodness.

Kristin: 5:31

And if anyone's wondering, I do still I still get DMs. Like, I got DMs last week after we posted a photo together from people I grew up with being like, Your mom, I love her. Anyway, when I was growing up and I had like a school project, you would sort of force me to think more creatively. I think your like teacher instincts would kick in and you would be like, No, you can't just write something on a poster board. You gotta like really pour your heart into it.

Dolores: 6:01

True. Make it neat and pretty and you can stand out. Yes. Yes. I also had to correct some spelling mistakes on some posters. My favorite was your younger sister, Cindy, cheerleader, having a car wash. She makes a poster. Donations accepted. E X C E P T E D. But I'm a teacher. Absolutely not. That means you don't need them. They're you know they're no. So I had to cut a piece of white paper out, glue it over that, make her say donations accepted. Oh, she thought it was crazy that I was making her respell this word. It was inconsequential, but it was everything to me. You cannot have a sign that says that.

Kristin: 6:49

I mean, yeah, like you can't be like in our town holding up a poster and everyone knows that you're the daughter of a teacher, right? That's just embarrassing. Mm-hmm. Um, did anyone look at this postmark before you went out into the world? Education is lovely, beautiful, creative. You're you're pouring into children. You know what it also is? It's like bureaucracy. And I mean, all the way up to the top, right? I mean, you have your like school politics, but you have the politics on every single level, and things are kind of constantly changing. And I'm just wondering how you navigated that and how it impacted your work as a classroom teacher.

Dolores: 7:31

Well, I remember towards the beginning where William and I started teaching second grade. I had such a great team, and we did whole language. So I remember studying dinosaurs. So we read about dinosaurs, we wrote about dinosaurs, we studied dinosaurs, we spelled dinosaur words. Um, you would be amazed at what kid could spell Velociraptor, but couldn't spell because. Uh, but it was a special word to them. We read about needs and wants, and we read this story, and then with the story, we had kids bringing in things that they didn't want. We had a big swap meet, and each classroom was a store, and the kids got coupons and they could go from room to room and buy these things. And it was it was fabulous. Everything was tied together. Well, then suddenly administration said, We're not going to do that. We must do this. We could not teach dinosaurs anymore because now they changed our curriculum that it had to be backyard science. Someone wrote some new curriculum and said, no, second graders need to learn backyard science. What is backyard science? In worms, worms, grass? And I'm still confused.

Kristin: 8:42

I hear backyard science. I think backwoods science, and that feels about right for the ways in which education shifted since since that time in the early 90s.

Dolores: 8:52

And then they we were told we had to have a more stringent, strict schedule. You must teach math until this time, and then you will put away your books and you will teach this. So it slowly just did away with our whole language.

Kristin: 9:06

Obviously, politics were always shifting. What about like parenting styles? Did that shift over the years that you taught?

Dolores: 9:13

Yes, I definitely saw some of that. At the beginning, I felt like it was all respect the teacher, you know what's best, tell us what to do. Because I remember being intimidated. I had no children at the beginning. The parent was asking me in my mind, I'm thinking, I don't know. She'll have some children, but very much respectful of the position. And then it slowly became more and more the helicopter parent. And this is my child, don't tell my child no, or even the kids telling me I'm going to tell my mom on you. So uh yeah.

Kristin: 9:47

In your time teaching elementary school, you shifted demographics a little bit. So did that shift?

Dolores: 9:53

Yes, because I was in a rural district that might have less money, but um really respect education, you know, know that education was important. They probably saw education as a path forward, and so they took it very seriously. I feel like the wealthier schools I've taught at were far more difficult dealing with parents because those parents had college degrees and they felt like they knew better than I did. You know, and they would compare, they would talk and compare. Well, this teacher is doing this project in her classroom, why aren't you doing it? Or, you know, we think you should teach this subject. They always thought they knew something that I didn't know. I remember one of my friends telling me that when you get the kids from the really affluent schools, those kids will learn no matter who their teacher is, because they have the parents that are reading to them at home. They are taking them on the trips, they are enriching their lives. And you can be a so-so teacher and they are still going to learn and progress because they have this support at home. It's far more difficult to be a teacher in a lower socioeconomic school where parents are working two and three jobs and they're not able to provide all of that support.

Kristin: 11:15

Honestly, that takes us right back to the question around politics because it directly speaks to how schools that have been systemically underfunded or communities that have been systemically under-resourced have to keep fighting for those resources because maybe the test scores are lower, because maybe the parents don't have just the same amount of time. Um, and it has nothing to do with academic ability or teacher ability. It has nothing to do with any of that. It is simply about the luxury of time and money.

Dolores: 11:46

Right. And there are PTAs that have raised money and replaced whole entire computer labs or bought fabulous playgrounds where this school over here gets none of that because they're not going to have the population that can do that for them.

Kristin: 12:04

We're gonna transition a little bit from your classroom teaching into the end of your teaching career where you were a technology teacher, which I always thought was really kind of funny.

Dolores: 12:15

I know.

Kristin: 12:16

Because, you know, like my sisters and I would like to help set up your printer, you know, at home. But you were a technology teacher, and that meant something specific during this time. And I want to know what that means and how, why, how did that transition happen?

Dolores: 12:30

Elementary schools had enrichment classes that were, you know, the kids went to, and one of them was Spanish. The district decided to get rid of Spanish. I don't know why. Racist. I know. And in its place, they were going to put technology. One of my very good friends was a um technology purse. I don't remember her exact title, but she was assigned a couple of schools. She would come to our school for a couple of days a week. She would do lessons with the kids, and then she'd go to another school. And I had known her since we taught second grade together way back when. So she told me this is was coming down the pike, you know, this switch over to technology. So I took myself straight to the principal's office and I said, I heard that in a year or two we are going to turn to technology. I had been to some technology conferences in Austin. So I felt like, you know, I this would be something I really want to do. Get out of the classroom. I've been a classroom teacher for a long time. And I was called into the office, which always gives you all the feels like I've been called to the principal's office. And my principal said, you know how you wanted to be a technology teacher? How would you what do you think about doing it starting next year? I was like, Oh my God, yes, please. So that is how I became a technology teacher. And yes, all three of my adult children laughed at me because, like, wait, wait, but you don't know anything about technology. And my answer was, I know elementary stuff about technology. So it was basic. We typed documents, we made very basic spreadsheets. We, well, we were great at PowerPoints because I was great at PowerPoint. You love a PowerPoint. I could make a PowerPoint. Internet safety, you know. That's all really important. It's all very important. I personally think, well, I think they should have kept Spanish. I um think that keyboarding is also a life skill. Not keyboarding, I'm sorry, technology, which we also learn keyboarding. Yeah.

Kristin: 14:25

No, I like perked up when you said keyboarding because I think kids right now are not being taught keyboarding. I don't think they are. And one time I was typing in front of my niece, Quinn, and I was typing, you know, not like an amazing typist, but I was typing, and she was like, I wish I could type like that, like one day. And I'm like, I worry. I worry that they're just gonna be using their thumbs for everything.

Dolores: 14:51

Yeah, touch screens, thumbs, you know.

Kristin: 14:54

That's an aside, but I think about it a lot. And like, I'm sorry that we laughed at you. I can't even pretend like that didn't happen. But mostly because when we would tell people, I'd be like, my mom's a technology teacher. But she doesn't know how to use her phone. It just didn't feel right. But it was and it was adorable. And I loved that chapter of your career because one, I think that that like it was also fun for you to be an elective teacher where you got to like see every student in that school. Yes. During this time, you started news broadcasting for your school, and I want to hear more about it.

Dolores: 15:31

Well, there was one school in the district that had been doing this, they were doing live on camera announcements every morning, and I was fascinated by it. And I asked my principal if I could look into it. So she sent me over to that school to watch it and learn from them, and we got the go-ahead. So we started with this old video camera, you know, on a tripod, just learning as we went. And then I think it might have been year two. I'm not sure, but I wanted a better camera, so I did a fundraising. What was that platform? Yeah, it was like donors choose or no. That wasn't it, but something. I I all I remember is, and you know, you you were a um career fundraiser. Career fundraiser. So I put my little ask on this website, and then I remember on the phone saying to you, Well, nobody's donating. Where are the rich people? And you said sadly, they're not just waiting for it. It doesn't really work that way. So I started being a little more proactive with your coaching, and I think within a week or two, I had met the goal, yeah, got the money, ordered the camera. Then I had to learn how to use the fancy camera. But yeah. That was really fun.

Kristin: 16:47

And I always thought it was like, I mean, it was a program that you just imagined and then made happen. And then you like impacted these children's lives. I'd love to know how many of them went on to like do things with confidence or do public things that they might not have done otherwise because they had this platform when they were young.

Dolores: 17:08

It's like really special. I think I personally, it was like my my baby, my proudest moment or whatever. And it was just so much fun because I had these roles and then I had a little chart and everybody would switch around. There was the weather person, the anchor people, the joke teller, the person who would come on and read the lunch menu. So each time they would come in, maybe they kept the job for a week. I don't even remember, but the jobs rotated around. And even kindergarten kids, then they would come to my classroom later that day and be like, ha ha, that joke of the day was funny. And they'd retell it, that re-hear that joke all day long. And then I remember one boy who was on the Davis News Network saying, This place is my happy place. Oh that was where he felt happy and comfortable and seen and he was important. People, you know, it was it was a big deal to be chosen. Yeah. And then you were as kind of a celebrity in the school because you were on camera. I think you even made an appearance. Oh my god, public speaking. Yes, on public speaking. You talked to them about projection, and I remember everyone was excited. My daughter was making a guest appearance.

Kristin: 18:22

In your personal life during that time, one of your kids, my middle sister, was struggling a lot. She had been in and out of a few rehabs, and I believe at this time she was incarcerated. Yes. And I know that was like obviously distressing and left a hole in your heart. And you really channeled that energy into some special kids. And again, I talk about this a lot as like a little bit of guiding light for my own life and career and my takes on mentorship. So will you tell us a little bit?

Dolores: 18:53

I'm not exactly sure what possessed me, if that's the correct word, but I did need a way to channel my mothering, maybe, because I couldn't get to my daughter and I couldn't do anything for her at the place she was at. So I think that that's where this came from. But I remember the first time there was this one particular girl, and for some reason, her situation, her little bit of naughtiness just spoke to me and she just tickled me. I thought she was so cute. I remember she lived with her grandmother, and I remember contacting her grandmother and saying, I'd really like to be a mentor to Stephanie, and I would like to take her on some outings. I think the first thing we did was we went to get frozen yogurt after school. And wow, I think that cost me a lot because you fill the yogurt and then you choose all the toppings, and she was like, I want that, and I want that and I want that. It's our first time to ever get frozen yogurt. And then I remember asking her what else she wanted to do, and there was a particular barbecue place, and she asked me if I would take her there so she could eat ribs.

Kristin: 19:57

I if I recall that was like her first time at that restaurant or something like that.

Dolores: 20:00

Yeah, she's like, she passed by and seen this restaurant, and she really, really wanted to go there and eat ribs. And then she had ribs from ear to ear, but she was oh so happy. She was so happy. She was so happy. She left our school and moved away, I think, with her mom. And then flash forward, it's like maybe the next year. And I had a had a rough morning of morning announcements. My cameraman, so to speak, turned the camera on early and was panning around the room while we were joking around and trying to get ready. And so he was broadcasting this nonsense. I fired him. He was very absorbed. Poor kid. And I think about it now. I'm like, wow, really, oh, it's really hard on that kid. But anyway, it was devastating to me. But I remember after announcements going to the office and check my mail, being all so humiliated, that's awful. Check my mail, and I come around through the office, and there's people in there, and there's, you know, I didn't really notice. There's a girl in there, and she had a book in front of her face. And the school secretary said, lower that book so Miss Gardner can see who's here. And there was Stephanie. She had come back, and honestly, I think I started crying. I was like, oh my gosh. And I ran over there and I hugged her, and I needed to see my Stephanie on that day. And there she was.

Kristin: 21:24

That makes me want to cry.

Dolores: 21:25

That's so special.

Kristin: 21:27

It was really sweet. You were also just telling me about a program that I don't know that I really knew about, like a mentorship matching program with teachers.

Dolores: 21:35

My friend, the art teacher, and I were talking about the kids that just need a little extra attention. And so we asked permission to start this program. And we asked the teachers to give us a name from their classroom of a student who would fit that profile, just needed a little extra attention, needed somebody to talk to them, you know, whatever that it could be whatever discipline or just a high five. A high five, whatever they needed. And then we asked teachers, other teachers to volunteer to be mentors. And then we matched up each student with the teacher. So then the idea was the student that the teacher got, you could bring them a little piece of candy, or just go check on them in their classroom, give them a wave, or go find them at lunchtime and sit by them and ask them, hey, how's your day going? And the program was great. And then our principal loved it enough that she funded a field trip at the end of the year. So we took about 20 children on a school bus to the museum in Fort Worth. And it was fantastic. We loved it.

Kristin: 22:39

That is so fun and cute. Before we pivot away from like this time when you were a full-time teacher, can you just quickly tell me what riding dirty means?

Dolores: 22:48

Oh my God. So there was the popular song, Riding Dirty. That's about all the singing that you'll want to hear me too. And we tended to gravitate in the second grade teachers, we tended to gravitate into one room to eat our lunch. So we're in there eating tacos or something. And someone said, What does that mean? And we were like, I don't know. So we were going around this kid's kidney table, you know, discussing what riding dirty could mean. And someone said they thought it had to do with um the woman on top, maybe. We passed around several ideas, but none of our ideas were accurate. Correct. I now know what it means, and it has nothing to do with anything that we thought.

Kristin: 23:39

It's my it's the best story to end on because I love teachers, but elementary school teachers are in a bubble and y'all are so cute and innocent. Like the idea of you just trying to figure out what this means. Yep.

Dolores: 23:52

We were not the uh most with it kids. It's a good thing you had children to teach you. That's right.

Kristin: 24:07

My mom is such a powerful example of how our work stories are shaped by everything that we carry, everything that we survive, everything that we choose, our work and our lives are inextricable. Next week in part two, we'll talk about her next chapter. We'll talk about how she retired, she navigated profound loss, and then she found a way to rebuild herself. And I can't wait for you to hear that part of her journey. If you enjoyed this episode, you're enjoying this show so far, it would mean so much to me if you would leave a review. It helps other people find us and it helps these conversations continue to grow. So thanks for listening and thanks for being part of this little community. Thanks for listening. Everything counts, but nothing is real. Remember, even when nothing feels real, everything you do counts. Capitalism may be absurd, but so are we. And on that note, well, it's been real. Don't forget to subscribe. I'm Kristen. See you next time.