From Heartbreak to Healing, How Nikki Allen Turned Pain Into Purpose

What if your heartbreak wasn’t the end, but the beginning of who you’re meant to become?

In episode 33 of The Influence Exchange, I sit down with Nikki Allen, author, singer, songwriter, filmmaker, and creator, who shares a powerful and deeply honest story about love, identity, and healing.

Her novel Love You, Hated You is inspired by real-life heartbreak and explores a question many people silently struggle with:

Why do we stay in relationships we know aren’t good for us?

In this conversation, we break down:

Why people stay in toxic or unhealthy relationships

The emotional cycles that keep you stuck

How isolation, validation, and past wounds influence decisions

The truth about self-love and why it changes everything

How to rebuild yourself after walking away

Turning pain into creativity, purpose, and growth

Nikki shares something powerful: Healing doesn’t start when you leave, it starts when you understand yourself.

This episode is for you if:

You’ve ever stayed longer than you should have 

You’ve questioned your worth in a relationship 

You’re trying to rebuild after heartbreak 

You want to understand yourself on a deeper level

Nikki's Websites: 

https://officialnikkiallen.com/

https://strikeoutorganization.com/

https://www.theempresscompany.com/

Buy Nikki's Book: 

https://www.balboapress.com/en/bookstore/bookdetails/866765-loved-you-hated-you

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

What if your heartbreak was actually setting you up for your purpose? Today's guest turned pain into creativity, and her story is both real and powerful. Nikki Allen is an author, singer, songwriter, and filmmaker who uses her experiences to tell honest stories about love, identity, and healing. Her novel, Love You, Hated You, was inspired by real-life heartbreak and explores why people stay in unhealthy relationships and how they can find a way back to themselves. Through her work, Nikki reminds us that healing starts with self-love and sometimes the hardest experiences lead to the greatest growth. Please join me in welcoming Nikki Allen. Let's get into it. Hello, Nikki, and thank you for joining the Influence Exchange today. How are you?

SPEAKER_02 1:04

I am well and I'm very excited to be on your show.

SPEAKER_01 1:07

And I'm happy that you're here today. Thank you again. Nikki, you are an author, singer, songwriter, filmmaker, and creator. That's a blessing. Talk to us about that a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 1:20

It sounds so fake. It's like you just just you think you can do it all. And it's so funny because, you know, when people ask me, just in general, what do you do? I have to go, well, it depends on the day. Literally, like their days, there are music days and there are film days and they're, you know, nonprofit days. And I have another big event coming up that you don't know about. But so I'm working on all these different things. And I'm releasing new music uh in June. So, you know, it depends on the day.

SPEAKER_01 1:55

Yeah, yeah, that's that's awesome. Listen, I wish I had that many talents. If I try to sing right now, forget about it. I'm gonna get thrown away at all. At all. Especially with this New York accent, no way. It's not gonna happen. So, Nikki, I want to talk a little bit about your your novel. You wrote a novel called Love You, Hated You, which is inspired by a real life heartbreak. Which started as a song, then a screenplay. What inspired that transformation?

SPEAKER_02 2:31

From the song to the screenplay?

SPEAKER_01 2:33

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 2:34

Because honestly, when I hear music, I see stories. So it doesn't even have to be mine. Like, I I just wrote a whole screenplay based off of somebody else's music. Like, I just, when I hear music, I I see a story. And it made it easier because this was my story. But I thought about what would I want to happen differently than the character. So hers ends up being a love story, even though it's a little tumultuous with the guy she's with, but there is a love story component in it. And I think that's the one when we're in bad relationships. I don't know if you've ever been in one, but you get you get absolutely you get to a point where you know it's over, right? And then you start fantasizing about what it would be like if you saw somebody else or that this other person, what they would do, what they would be. So I created that person for the character in the book because I didn't get to have that in real life.

SPEAKER_01 3:31

And that's Gabby, correct? I'm assuming. Yes. Okay. Good, good, good. So talk to us a little bit about the book and your journey, your thought process with the challenges you had in your relationship, and how much of it is maybe friction, and how much of it is actually reality.

SPEAKER_02 3:52

So the book, Gabby's character, all of her instances are not mine, but the emotion behind it is. Um, because mine was actually a little too devastating to put, like, you guys wouldn't want to read that in a book and think, like, you're gonna recover with that with a love story. I don't think so. So you know, I I but I did want the emotion to be there. And I also really, really wanted to tell people that read it, you know, why women and even men stay in abusive relationships. Because you hear all the time, and you and you know with Cassie and Diddy, why did she? Why did she stay? That was the biggest question. It was pissing me off because it's not black and white. It's just not. So I wanted the story to kind of show why we stay longer than we should, you know, and there are so many, you know, I gave a blanket reason, but people have so many like little nuances as to why they say, you stay, you know, there are people that it's dangerous for them to leave, right? You know, you're thinking, well, when he goes to work, you can just, but you don't know what really goes on behind those doors, right? So mine didn't go deep like that. But I did want to explain, at least on surface level, why women stay. And it was it kind of plays more into what Cassie and Diddy went through. Here was this charming, successful man that, you know, he I hate, I don't like this word grooming, but it is kind of a grooming situation, um, whether they mean to or not, but they know how to manipulate. And so you get caught up in this cycle. Well, and then when when because when they're good, they're amazing, they're great. And he had the means to do this. Gabby's character, her guy, Gough, he has the means to continue when it's when he messes up, he knows how to make up. And, but, you know, he's also isolated her from her family, from her friends. So I just kind of wanted to show that part, but show, look, when I wrote the screenplay, I'm not sure uh sure if you're familiar with Tyrese Gibson and Absolutely. Okay, so Tyrese is golf. That's who I wrote. These are who I had written the characters for, and the good guy is Morris Chestnut. So when I wrote it as a screenplay, women love both of those men, right? So they could I did it like that on purpose so that people can see when you have two good-looking men and one is abusive, but he is so charming, so this, so that, it makes it really hard to leave. It really does. I know it sounds superficial, but he has all the things, right?

SPEAKER_03 6:41

Right.

SPEAKER_02 6:41

So even though this other guy who's just as gorgeous and just as successful, I've been here for so long, it's hard to go over there. I know what I'm getting here. I know what triggers this guy. I know I how to behave, if you will, right? So I just kind of wanted to dive into that and just show that there are so many reasons why we stay, and it's not that easy to just get up and pack your stuff up and not when you've been invested. Now, if you can't leave after like two dates, something's wrong with you.

SPEAKER_03 7:11

Right. That that's different. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 7:16

The red flags, and you're like, Yeah, I'm gonna stick it out. I can't help you. This isn't for you. Right. But you know, when you get in these relationships, because they they it's a slow burn. It's not like they get in and hit you upside the head and you because they know you'll be like, I'm not dealing with this. They don't you don't get in and they're like, oh, you're fat and ugly. They don't do that off the top. That it that's it's a slow burn. It's a slow burn. So by the time they get to that, you're like, oh my God, what? Oh, baby, I'm so sorry. Uh you know, I'm having a bad day. And it just continues this cycle. So that was one of the premises of the book. I just wanted to show that because I hate I had somebody tell me why don't you just leave? And they were right, I should have left, but it took me seven years to do it.

unknown 8:01

Sure.

SPEAKER_01 8:02

Yeah you know, so yeah. So, Nikki, for an audience member that's listening or watching this episode today, and they're stuck. They may be in a similar situation that's five years, ten years, fifteen years. What is your advice to get that step forward in something positive and to finally make that decision to leave?

SPEAKER_02 8:27

You know, for me, I had to acknowledge, because I didn't even acknowledge I was in a bad relationship. You know what I mean? I mean, I knew it was bad, but I didn't realize like you shouldn't be in this. You know what I mean? I don't it may sound weird, but it was like, no, he's okay. Like, it's not that bad. I mean, when it's bad is bad, but when it's good is great, right? But I was telling a friend every day at lunch about what was going on the night before, and she would give me advice. And finally one day she said to me, you know, I hate that you're going through all of this, but you don't listen to anything I say. So you don't want to leave, so I don't want to hear about it anymore. And that was the day I was like, I am saying the same stuff and I am complaining. And so I started doing my own what I call soul surgery and trying to figure out why. Because people only treat you the way you allow them to treat you. So why am I allowing this man to treat me like this? My mother didn't raise me like this. I didn't come from a background with abusive parents. So what's going on? So, for anyone that's in this, you know, just before you make a move, understand you, understand the reasons why you're you're allowing this person to mistreat you. Because then once you get that together, you can start healing. And once you start healing, you get your power back. And then you'll figure out, you'll grip, get, get the people, the whatever, something, Google, I don't know. But once you get your power, you're not even gonna be able to stand stay there because you're so much into yourself and like, wait a minute, you're putting up those boundaries now, you know. But just give yourself some grace because it's not gonna happen overnight. It's not gonna be like, you know what, that lady was right, I'm out of here. It's not gonna go like that. I mean, you could try it and kudos if you can, but typically it's gonna be a long process. They say it takes what 12 times before a woman actually leaves. So give yourself some grace. Make, you know, just start working on self though, because trying to leave broken is the easiest way for them to reel you back.

SPEAKER_01 10:36

Sure.

SPEAKER_02 10:37

So try to do, yeah, you're already there. Start working on you. Start trying to figure out what it is that you really want, what would make Mickey happy. See, for me, I wrote the guy in the book.

unknown 10:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:49

What I would like to see happy.

unknown 10:52

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 10:52

You know what? But that was really what I was thinking. Like, yeah, I don't want this, I want that. So start thinking about what it is you really want. And stop trying to put this person in that box because clearly they're not going to give you that. So, you know, just it it's really self-love and and and and just learning about self because once you realize who you are, it makes a lot of sense as to why you're allowing things to happen. For me, I had just lost my mom. I had just moved to LA and I had no family, no support. And here was this guy. So, you know, I have one friend at work, and I worked, I lived on one side of town, and I worked on the other side of town. So we didn't, she didn't, she and I didn't even hang out. We she was just my one friend. So there I was, isolated, and then it kept going. You know, so that I realized, okay, he was my savior, if you will, during that time. Um but then I did a little more deep diving later and was like, oh, that was from daddy issues because my dad didn't the the things that he was doing, my dad never did for me.

SPEAKER_01 12:04

Sure.

SPEAKER_02 12:05

So my dad was in the homes. It wasn't like he was an absent father. He was in the home, but he just wasn't a good father. So now I'm grabbing on to this because I never had that before. I never had that feeling before. I've never been validated before like that. So he knew that, you know, and it just kept going. So it was I just had to figure out, okay, wait a minute. That part I do like, but the rest of it I don't. And it it it was a long, it was a long stretch, but I I made it out.

SPEAKER_01 12:35

And I'm happy you did, Nikki. I really am. Nikki, sometimes when you think about it, if it's a male or female, they're stuck either because maybe they have a weak mindset, maybe they don't know exactly what direction to go. It could be financials, right? Maybe the the woman is buying a man a watch, a nice watch that he wanted. Maybe the man is buying a female a nice Chanel bag, for example, and people stay behind sometimes for material things, which is not right because deep inside you're broken. In the outside, you may seem flashy, but you're broken in the inside. And for anyone that's listening, I think it's extremely important to listen to Nikki's message and make that one that step forward.

SPEAKER_02 13:28

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 13:28

Absolutely. You should make that step.

SPEAKER_02 13:30

Trust me, you'll be a lot happier. You and and here's the thing, I'll tell you this too, because I know some people out there like, I can't. I just love him so much because that's where I was. I remember going to um, I was at some restaurant and I had gone by myself, and I don't know, I think he and I had a fight or something, but I'm sitting there and I see this old couple in a booth, and you're they're just all snuggled up, and I'm like, you know what I mean? Hold on because I can see us doing that. Like, why can't we just grow old?

SPEAKER_03 14:03

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 14:04

Yeah, you know, but we gotta let go of those ideas, and because now the person that's in my life is the best thing that's ever happened to me, right? But I would never ever been able to be available for him because I'd still be piddling over here, being mistreated. So trust me, I know it's scary. I know you think there's nobody else down there for me, and then he's the only one that understands.

SPEAKER_03 14:29

Right, right. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:32

These were my words, like he's the one, and you know, and uh nobody wants to be alone. But let me tell you something, I'm okay with being alone. I I got to I got to a place where I was I was okay with being alone, but again, it comes with the self-love, it's the self-care, the self-love, what you will no longer tolerate. And that's what that's the point you have to get to is what are your boundaries?

SPEAKER_01 15:01

Sure. Sure. You know, Nikki, love. Love is a deep and personal word. And someone may think they may love their partner but don't know the meaning of love. Were you in that situation?

SPEAKER_02 15:19

I I would definitely say yes, because you really you can't love someone until you love yourself, right? I mean, that's the that's the truth. I I I know it sounds really cheesy and all that stuff, but it is the truth. And and look at it from the flip side. That person can't love you because they don't love themselves, because if they love themselves, they would never treat you that way. Right. You know, right.

SPEAKER_01 15:47

That that is so true. You think about it, it's again, I'm gonna go back, it's so difficult. And I really find that you you and I is having this deep conversation because it's important to share that message. If we could touch one person, Nikki, today, I would say we did our job by sharing that message. And hopefully, if someone is listening, they can step forward and make that change. Nikki, I love your artwork for your book. Thank you. It's fascinating. It's it's part of your your expertise, I would say. So yeah, it's I just wanted to say that you know before we continue. It's lovely. Thank you. Nikki, so let's continue with Gabby and Bobby for a little bit more. Gabby and Goff. There you go, Rabbi Goff, yes. Talk to us a little bit more about their story.

SPEAKER_02 16:44

There's well, I mean, it's really simple. You know, she they were together since high school. Um and he but you know, as he he started getting power and and you know, he graduated college clearly and started being becoming a lawyer, and the more successful he got, the more um I guess controlling he got. And I I don't think for the most part, men or women really get into relationships thinking, hey, I can control that person. You know, some people don't typically I mean I'm sure there are some out there like that. Yeah, I'm sure there is. But I don't think the guy I was with, I know he wasn't like, oh Nikki, she doesn't have any family out here. Let me just go ahead and reel her in. I I know that wasn't the thought process. But you know, I don't know, you just gotta really be be mindful. Um so with Gabby, um, they started off in high school. Like, so we're kids, right? Right, right. Still learning. You're still learning, still growing. But you start getting, let's say he was a star on the football team, and then you know, it's always the big guy. And all of a sudden, she's now his plus one instead of his equal, right? So now I'm just under him, and everything that happens to him is, you know, I'm just included, I'm just, you know, a part of. And you lose your identity, you lose your power unless you're working towards your own goal. And for Gabby and golf, she was she, you know, in the book it talks about her dad. Like her dad wanted her to do what he wanted her to do. And mom, he wanted mom to do what mom wanted to do, and so everybody did that. Her dream was to be an architect, but you know, nobody was supporting that. So, but here's this guy taking care of her, and mom told her, you just need a man to take care of you. So she got caught in that cycle, you know, and um, yeah, and so then this nice handsome man moves next door while while she gets thrown out of her house in the hallway, and he it, you know, and he's like, damn, she's fine, but she's what is going on, like, you know, and so you know, so it'd be it it's contentious throughout because now her man is like because he tells her nobody's ever gonna want you until the neighbor moves in, and I was like, Right, right, right, right.

SPEAKER_03 19:21

I love that.

SPEAKER_02 19:22

Wait, wait a minute, you know, so I won't no spoilers here, but um, yeah, she has to make a decision. She has to make a decision because this person actually sees her or her. This is actually a decent person, a mature male, you know, that's trying to enter into her life. But that doesn't mean she's like, okay, golf, I'm out. That is not even close.

SPEAKER_01 19:45

Yeah, yeah. Okay, good. Nikki, when did heartbreak shift from survival mode to creative feel?

SPEAKER_02 19:56

I think it it it for me, the heart is that creative fuel. High or sad. It doesn't, it, it doesn't have to be a bad thing. I I think I operate on feelings and emotions. Not that I'm an emotional dramatic person, but I I I can like I can feel you. I feel like, okay, I really want to sit and talk to you. There are some posts. I've been like, what time is it? I'm looking at the clock on my uh computer like three minutes?

SPEAKER_03 20:27

Right, right.

SPEAKER_02 20:28

So, you know, um, so I'm I'm a feeling kind of person, and and I write from that. I write from and it's not popular because even this story, uh, you know, people don't write about people don't make, I mean, how many I don't know, but I've never heard of a domestic violence love story. Because that's at the end of the day, that's kind of what that is. But but it's true. I I I like to come at things from a truthful, truthful perspective, because you know, we can get caught, you know, caught off guard in the love, and it's just so blissful. And those are those are those love stories, and those are needed. I love those too. But what about the ones that are really like tough? How do you get out and how do you find love? How do you find yourself? And it's fiction. So I just everything I do though, I'm I I'm always asked backwards. Like, you know, I wrote the screenplay before the book. Usually it's the book screenplay. Like, I'm just I'm all yeah, yeah, yeah. So my I have a I have a show idea that I'm working on now that is so unpopular, the the topic. I know it's gonna be unpopular, but I think it'll work because uh I I I'm I'm always for the underdog. I'll say that. Okay. Always for the underdog. I don't know why, but I like to know why they operate the way they do. Because everybody has a side, right? Everybody, you know, let let's, you know, pull up some guys. If they're willing, that did hit their woman or a woman in the past and they're no longer doing that now. Let's talk about why you were there. Why did you do that? You know, because those men that, you know, and I'm not talking about the ones that are just evil beating you down. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about toxic relationships that can get ugly because either you all are immature, they're whatever the situation. I'm not talking about that deeply disturbing stuff. But let's talk about what what what in your childhood made you become like this? It was it, did you see dad talking crazy? You know, my daughter in in preschool got a black eye from this little boy. And because the little boy liked her. And he she didn't want to do my daughter's feisty like me. So she didn't he didn't want to go on that playground at that. And so he hit her and he said, My dad says this is how you tell women. So we're talking preschool, not even kindergarten. They're three, four.

SPEAKER_01 23:02

I know. Yeah, still in diapers, you know.

SPEAKER_02 23:07

So you you've already planted that seed. Now we just hope that his name is Giovanni. Probably don't never know who I am. But we hope that Giovanni now, because my daughter's 26, so he's 26 years old. Hopefully he's a good guy. Hopefully he was like, That was wrong. Hopefully, my dad was wrong. He hopefully he does his work, right?

SPEAKER_03 23:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:28

Hopefully. You know, but we don't know. But it starts, yeah, it everybody has a side, you know, and I always like to look at the other person's version of why they're the way they are. Because even the guy that I this book is loosely based on, he was adopted, he had a best friend that he thought had a good life. He wanted to be more like his friend. And so we only had problems when the friend was around. You know, so and and just full disclosure, me and this guy are still friends today.

unknown 24:04

Sure.

SPEAKER_02 24:04

30 years later, shh. You know, I I talked to him maybe a month ago, you know. Um, not the same person as did, you know, we've both been married, divorced, have kids, you know, and we talk like adults now. And when we talk about that stuff, I was like, man, that was crazy, you know. But this was a person that grew up and mature. But I like to tell stories from the other side. I like to tell stories from the other side. I think we get enough of the regular stuff, so that's me. Right.

SPEAKER_01 24:39

Yeah, no, I get it. I grew up in the Bronx in New York. So uh not so fun area to live in. So I saw a lot of growing up of abuse, crime, drugs. You know, I'm I'm Puerto Rican, so I'm hip hop community, and it was real growing up. It was real, and it took a lot of growing and learning who I am as an individual. Right. I went through relationships, I went through my drinking days that every ordinary Monday, let's go out to a local bar and just hang out, see what's gonna happen. It was horrible. It took so long. My mom as a single mom raising four kids. My dad, I would see every other weekend, you know, and I'm happy that when we got older we we got that relationship. But I'm talking about 20 years ago, it it was tough. It was tough. Yeah and I didn't know the direction my life was going. Nikki, I was learning, I was clueless. And uh thank God I chose a right path. And you mentioned friends. I did not follow that peer pressure that my friends go, Oh, yeah, we're doing this, come, and drag that negativity out of me so I could follow along and get locked up. Who knows?

SPEAKER_02 26:09

And what are those friends doing now though? Did they grow?

SPEAKER_01 26:11

Are they locked up like probably probably who knows? Yeah. I lost touch, of course, because I wanted a career, I wanted good things for my life. And you know, you learn this is part of your growth. Yeah. As a young kid, uh, you know, your 20s, and as you learn, and you know, yes, have a family now, and I'm happy. It was a roller coaster, I would say.

SPEAKER_02 26:34

Yeah, you have to do your work, you know. I mean, that was you saying, hey, you know what, I don't want that for my life. But then you have the friends that hopefully they at some point got to that point, but there are so many. The friend that this guy, my guy, had, no, didn't happen. He he's still today living that lifestyle. You know, and and what's ironic is the guy that I was with, he his family was a nice middle class working dad, owned his own business. The guy he was trying to be like was a gang member.

SPEAKER_03 27:10

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:11

Total opposite.

SPEAKER_02 27:13

Because he wanted street cred, he wanted to look tough, he wanted to, you know, be that guy. And so because his friend, you don't treat young, you don't like that woman, like he would write beautiful cards to me, and then I'd be like, oh yeah, that was so sweet. And then I didn't hear men in the background. I might never do that. Don't do that. I was to that, you know. So it was it was the influence. We were in our 20s, though. You don't know anybody in your 20s, you don't know everything.

SPEAKER_01 27:45

It was right, and it's it's this and that.

SPEAKER_02 27:48

It's you think you have the world figured out, because I knew I did, but you don't.

SPEAKER_01 27:56

That was yeah, my twenties, it was something. It was uh a crazy experience, you know, just a lot of partying and a lot of things. I look back today and say, why did I do that? All the money I spent in my twenties, I probably would have been a millionaire by now. You know, if you think about all the money you're just wasting on nonsense, I'd say, what? What did I do? I should have invested all that back then.

SPEAKER_02 28:19

Yeah, but what do you know? What do you know? You thought you knew, because you think it's never gonna run out and they'll get more, and and and we I I don't know about you, but for me, I had it all set. Like my life is going to go like this because I'm walking this path. And and then you hit those pitfalls, and it's like, wait, what? Wait, what? And and and that is but that is the growth, and that is what you learn, you know? That's when you learn.

SPEAKER_01 28:45

Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. So Nikki, let's I want to shift this a little bit uh and talk a little bit about your your businesses. Um, you have a few businesses. One is the Impress Company. Did I say that correctly? Yes. Okay. And Strikeout Organization. So let's start a little bit about Strikeout Organization. I believe it's a movement where every game changes lives. I love that name and that mission behind it. Talk to us about it, please.

SPEAKER_02 29:19

So the goal is um, the premise is we have little leaguers, you know, and I typically have an uh a major league baseball player come out, sign balls and all that to raise money, um, and to get donations because each game we're striking out something. So the last game, we were striking out homelessness. So all the money and the toys that we got went to a homeless shelter. Um, we want to strike out childhood cancer, strike out, you know, so that that those proceeds could go to an organization like St. Jude. So that's the premise that we try to strike out something either each game or each season. So I'm I'm in the process of revamping for 2027. So we may just do like this year, we're gonna focus on one thing or two things that we strike out. So that's pretty much the premise of it.

SPEAKER_01 30:21

That's excellent. Thank you. And if people out in your local neighborhood that's looking for something, organization, um, homeless, you mentioned homeless, how can they reach you? How can they find a place through your website, phone number?

SPEAKER_02 30:41

I have so many websites. I think it's strikeout.org.

SPEAKER_01 30:45

Um I will be posting that on the epic description. Don't worry about it. I just wanted to.

SPEAKER_02 30:50

Yeah. So and and and currently, um, and this is probably going to be ongoing. Um, I I have access to Section 8 and affordable housing. So if people have Section 8 and are looking for a place within the LA area, um, or affordable housing uh strikeout can help them with that.

SPEAKER_01 31:10

That's awesome. That's so important. Yes. Because Section 8, even in New York, it's you see so many people that's in shelters. Yes. And it's hard to find that guidance of where to start, how to fill out the applications, or whatever the case is. And I'm glad that you have an organization like that that people could you could help people that in need, especially their families. Yes. So thank you for doing such an amazing job there.

SPEAKER_02 31:39

Of course.

SPEAKER_01 31:40

Yeah. I think that's what I'm on this earth to do. There you go. I love it. Your mission is to help people. Thank you. Keep on. Right. It's important. You know, I for I I stopped doing it when I lived in New York City. I every Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving Eve, we will go around and give out turkeys. So a lot of us will chip in and buy small turkeys, nothing so big. And we will go to a c in a corner somewhere in Brooklyn, the Bronx, and we would just give out a hundred turkeys. The first hundred people we see.

SPEAKER_03 32:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:14

And then, you know, it's fascinating. And then I would go home, spend time with my family, and it made me feel so good that we help families in need in a special time of year when thanks is so important. And you know what? It it it was great. I miss it. I miss it.

SPEAKER_02 32:30

But it it was giving feels so much better than uh than getting, you know? Just it, I don't know. It's something about making somebody else happy that just or helping them out of a situation. It's just it's so rewarding, you know. And I don't get paid for it. So don't think I'm making any money doing that. But um it's just so awesome to to see somebody get some keys to their home or, you know, just a kid, you know, getting um toys and all that. I even had an event where I blocked off a whole street and did for back to the school event, back to school event. Um, I had game trucks, I had bounce houses, uh face pain and DJ, the whole nine, you know, and just to see the kids just so happy and the parents, they didn't have to come out of their pocket for anything. Each backpack was full of school supplies. And I had over 200 schools, uh 200 backpacks full. Yeah, so it just it was just great. And for the parents, I had free uh Starbucks for them. Just but it to see like a little relief, like okay, don't have to worry about a backpack, don't have to worry about supplies for a while, you know, and um that it just it's just so awesome. It's just a good feeling to to see community and see people happy because life is so hard and stressful and especially now this economy is crazy, you know. It is whatever I can do to bless somebody, I definitely want to do that.

SPEAKER_01 34:07

Yeah, that's awesome, Nikki. You deserve to be blessed.

SPEAKER_02 34:10

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 34:11

That's awesome, and you are blessed. You you're doing so much great things for the community and just continue the great work.

SPEAKER_02 34:18

Thank you. I will.

SPEAKER_01 34:20

Definitely. Nikki, so you have another nonprofit that you work on, um, the Impressed Company. That's not talk to us. That's okay, it's not nonprofit. I apologize for profit. Talk to us about the mission. I believe it was you started it in 2020. Yep.

SPEAKER_02 34:37

Yeah, somewhere around there. Um You know, I grew up Catholic and then I switched religions, and then I just, I'm like, I don't want to be bound by religion. And I started kind of going out on my own, uh, not search for God, because I already knew God. I already knew that's what I call God. Um, but I just had a problem with all these religions and restrictions, and I'm like, if God is love, then what? So anyway, a friend of mine had a metaphysical store, which I didn't even know what metaphysical was. I thought she had a bunch of rocks. And what is that? And what is sage and what is all this? But as I started understanding like energy from the earth, and I'm such a hippie now, it's not even but I just my thing is I just want to share with those that are interested, you know, that part of life. Like you can be, you can subscribe to whatever religion you want. I have no problem with that. Actually, I think everybody needs some kind of foundation, right? But let's not put God in a box because he's bigger than that. So the Empress Company basically is my metaphysical store. So I sell crystals, I sell incense, I do readings, um, that type of thing. However, to segue into the new mission that I have, I'm working on what's called the One Summit, which will be a big event. Hopefully, after this one, it'll be yearly. Um, the One Summit is for all religions to come together. It'll be uh in the summer of 2028, um, here in LA. And um I want everyone to come to the table and let's just talk about it. Because Christians think that they know everything. And I'm only gonna speak on Christians because that's what I grew up as. So I can't speak on anybody else's religion, but I know within the current Christian community, right, uh it's a lot of bickering because the Catholics think they're better than the Baptists, and the Baptists think the Lutherans and the Lutherans think they're I can keep going, right? Everybody's right, everybody knows. And I'm like, let what what are we? We're talking about the same God. So let's come to the table, not just Christians, all religions, because you may call them Allah, you may call them Jehovah, whatever you call them. We're still talking about the same higher power. Let's and you can call him that, but let's take him out of the box. Let's stop saying that my way is the right way, and you're gonna go to hell if you don't do it my way, and all of this stuff. So the One Summit is just it's gonna be an amazing thing. We're gonna have the One Summit choir, which is gonna be all voices, meaning race, ethnicities. They'll do gospel, they'll do all whatever. We're still building it out, but I have a whole, like, it's a five-day event, by the way. So each day. Yeah, each day you'll have a new speaker. And just to talk about their religion, let's let's talk about it because we're so busy condemning everybody's religion. Let's talk about it. Let's let's let's let's talk about why you feel like uh you should go to hell uh you know, for being gay and why you feel like you should just live your life. Let's let's have a conversation instead of judging and putting people down. The whole point is I hope is that we can just all come together in love. Because if we come together in this little space, we're gonna spread that out, right? When we go home and talk and hey, how was that one summit? And let's just keep it going. So that's what I'm working on now.

SPEAKER_01 38:16

Yeah, that's great. I wish you the best success with that project. It's great. Yeah, yeah. It takes a lot behind the scenes to figure it out. Yeah, yeah. I've never done something like that before, but I'm sure there's a lot of involved. Yeah. So, Nikki, to respect your time, I wanna before we conclude, I always like to ask my guests one final question. So, what final thoughts or message would you like to share with the world?

SPEAKER_02 38:47

Um, give yourself some grace. I know I never gave myself grace. You know, I thought I was supposed to be perfect. I thought life was supposed to be perfect. And so when you think that way, you operate in a way and you get disappointed a lot because life is not perfect. But give yourself some grace. That doesn't mean not to stay on your goals and all of that. But you will make mistakes, you will fail. Get up and keep going. Give yourself some grace. You can do it, but don't think that everybody's just gonna open up the doors for you to walk in. You need these experiences. You might need that relationship. Please get out of it, but you might need it to show where you were weak, where you need to heal, what needs to be figured out so that when you go into the next relationship, you're a different person. And listen, I went to the next relationship and I was a different person, and I married this fool, and it was still wrong. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 39:50

I get it.

SPEAKER_02 39:51

It wasn't that wood, but right. Okay, so now we gotta now why did I do that? But I gave myself some grace, and I just took I took seven years just to be alone and and focus on my children and you know, and learn a lot about myself, and then in walks the most amazing person ever. We've been together seven years, so no, no issues, you know. So give yourself some grace. Don't beat up on yourself. Don't be like, oh my God, I hate myself for doing it. It's okay. It's part of your journey, it's a part of you becoming.

SPEAKER_01 40:26

Sure. Nikki, I love that. Thank you for sharing.

SPEAKER_02 40:29

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 40:30

Nikki, I really enjoyed this conversation today. It's it's been a pleasure, and I can't wait for you and I to reconnect and have another conversation.

SPEAKER_02 40:40

Definitely.

SPEAKER_01 40:42

Take care. Thank you for your time.

SPEAKER_02 40:44

Absolutely. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 40:45

Bye. Before I go, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for pressing play. Thank you for listening. Thank you for watching on YouTube. I truly appreciate you taking the time to be here with me. And if you're watching this on YouTube, make sure you hit the subscribe button. And if you're listening on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or any other platform, follow the podcast so you don't miss out on the next episode. Because we're going to keep having real honest conversations like this. And remember, your influence grows every time you choose courage over comfort. I'm JV. Stay curious, stay consistent, and keep influencing others. Thank you, and peace out.