3. What True Forgiveness Really Is

Forgiveness is easy to talk about and hard to live out. In this episode, we get real about broken trust, resentment, and what it actually looks like to forgive while still using wisdom and protecting your peace. Forgiveness frees your heart, and rebuilding trust is a separate process that takes time and discernment.

If you’ve ever felt stuck waiting on an apology that never came or found yourself growing bitter, this conversation will help you breathe again. Forgiveness isn’t weakness—it’s clarity, discipline, and choosing grace when bitterness feels easier. That’s uncommon.

If this episode adds value to your walk, share it with a brother who needs it and leave a review with your biggest takeaway. Your story might help someone else take the next step toward healing.

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Transcript

Opening Banter And Setup

Devin 0:10

Welcome to another episode of the Uncommon Man podcast. I'm your host, Devin Jeffries, alongside a very good friend of mine, Mr. John Pierce. John, how are you today? I'm good, man. How you doing? Well, I think I'm hanging in there like a wet paper sack today, but in total transparency, but we're gonna make it. All right.

unknown 0:29

All right.

Devin 0:30

If you've ever had do you remember those old like grocery bags that were the big brown ones? Like, did your mom or dad ever carry those and then or sorry, the paper bags? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The big the big brown ones, and then like we watched the groceries like all fall out the bottom if they get wet. You know what I'm talking about?

SPEAKER_02 0:45

Yeah.

Devin 0:46

I don't know why. Just my brain immediately goes to like home alone and Kevin McAllister coming home, and then he's you know what I'm talking about, and all the groceries fall out.

Jon 0:54

Did it have that happen one time? A plastic bag, but it had that happen. And a jar of like I don't know, marinara sauce or something hits concrete, didn't break. I picked it up, dropped it again, and then it broke.

Devin 1:08

It was not meant for you to have that marinara sauce. I wasn't, it wasn't. Anyways, we're so glad that you're with us today on this episode. It's it's a tough

Naming The Hard Topic: Forgiveness

Devin 1:18

one. I'm gonna go ahead and be honest with with with our listeners today because it surrounds the topic of forgiveness. And I know for some people that is a very touchy subject. Yeah, it's hard, man. It is hard to forgive. It is it is hard to recognize that action and then and then to turn around and say, like, nope, you everybody the the fleshly side of us says that we we want to say, well, that's it, you're done. Screw that guy. Yeah, screw that guy, right? Yeah and thank God you've never done that with me, right?

Jon 1:53

But the fact of the matter is, if you want to be a godly man, you have to live by submitting the to the totality of the Bible. That's right. Up to and including forgiving people that commit all sorts of offenses.

Devin 2:07

That's right. It doesn't mean that we get to cherry pick what parts of the Bible that we want to that that we like, that we want to say, okay, well, yeah, I like that part. Like I like the part where Jesus died for the forgiveness of my sins, but I don't want to forgive other people. And the reality is, if you want to live a life that is uncommon in today's world, then this topic is going to be one that every single person, male or female, I don't care, needs to hear and to understand because I think it's something that everybody on some level struggles with. We like the part of being forgiven, but we don't like the part of forgiving other people.

Jon 2:51

Chances are at some point in your life, like my six-year-old son probably hasn't struggled. No, no, he struggled with forgiving his history. Anyway, yeah, everyone at some point in their life is gonna, it's gonna for struggle to forgive someone for something because they feel so wronged

Misconceptions About Forgiveness

Jon 3:10

and so offended by whatever it is.

Devin 3:12

Right. So I actually did a little bit of a statistical study here, and this may come as an absolute surprise to you, but more than 90% of Bible-believing Christians say that this is an issue. 90? 90. The majority of Christians today, I think you take it a deeper step. I think the majority of people, I would say 90 plus percent of the population struggles with this concept of forgiveness, because here's why. I think they don't understand it. I think they there are so many misconceptions about what forgiveness actually is. One of the, for example, one of the misconceptions I would say forgiveness does not approve of the offense, regardless of what that offense is. It does not approve it. It does not mean that you say, oh, well, all it's all is good now. Like you did this, yes, you wronged me. It's all good. Do it again, right? If I turn if I walk, if I come across this room and I sucker punch you in the face and you forgive me, it does not mean that you're going to then approve of the fact that I sucker punched you in the face.

Jon 4:31

Right. Like, I'm not okay. Like, you I'm not gonna let for one, I'm not gonna let you punch me in the face again. Right, right. Turn the other cheek, not literally. I'll I don't know. Anyway, I was gonna say, you know, the Bible says that you're supposed to turn the other cheek, bro. So okay.

Devin 4:49

All right, let's move along. I'm gonna defend myself regardless. But to understand, I think for for for us to realize it does not approve of the offense, I think the other people would say, okay,

Degrees Of Offense And Betrayal

Devin 5:05

but there are different levels of offenses. Right. Right. For example, my wife forgetting to pick something up at the store that I specifically asked her to get is not the same as if I sucker punch you in the face. Yeah. Right. It's not on the same, and and that is not on the same level as if I were to turn around and start posting a bunch of videos about what a fraud John Pierce is, right? Because then that's a betrayal.

Jon 5:35

Right. And so as betrayal is concerned, I'm not gonna go into details here, but I have a fair bit of experience being betrayed by someone very, very close. I think a lot of us do. Yeah. And so you don't want to go into it. That's fine. Well, I'll I'll it was, I mean, it I'm not married at the moment. Yeah. So yeah, it's like stab in the back, turn it a little bit more every day for a couple of years. Yeah. Yeah, it's that's because because let's be real about it. It's been it's been what, two and a half years at this point. I've it's only it hasn't been that long since I feel like I finally fully forgave her for all of that. Right.

Devin 6:21

Like it's because the reality is, and everybody says this. Everybody says what I'm fixing to say. Everybody says these two words. People suck. Well, that's true. Everybody does. And so the thought has and so the thought has crossed my mind today, or not today, but in the preparation of this episode, I was thinking to myself, you know, if everybody thinks people suck, then everybody truly sucks. And the reality is I think we all suck to some degree. We're all sinners. Sure. The Bible says

Personal Story Of Betrayal And Delay

Devin 6:55

that we're all sinners and have fallen short of the glory of God. I'm sorry. No, no question about that. But what I'm what I'm getting at here is that if we try to view people through a different light and not say say it so much as people suck so much as the action sucks. Yeah. The people, it it's not, it's not the the people. That's that's the thing. Yeah, exactly. The sin, not the center. And and the issue is, is I think that that is where things like racism come into play. Right. When you when you say people suck, you're saying you're saying a a collective bunch of people. I think that's where things like racism come into play. I think that's where things like selfishness come into play. Everybody can't be selfish. That's a complete contradiction in and of itself, right? So, but we have to understand that while there may be, while yes, people do make mistakes, and there are certain groups of people that you're like, no, you suck, dude. Like, that's fine. If you're out to hurt other people and that's your life's mission, no, you suck, right? There's a big difference there, but it does not mean, and it's the same level or it's the same on the same level as the different levels of the offense. The level of the offense may be different, but the end goal is the same. To forgive. Yeah. It is it is to forgive. What does the Bible say about how many times we're supposed to? And I remember exactly, and I remember the first time I read that, I was like, crap. Have you ever done that before? Have you ever put in 70 times seven and hit the equal sign?

Jon 8:31

No, I don't think that's actually what that means, though, is it? No. Well, I mean I've heard someone like explain that from a theological like standpoint. I don't know the word I'm looking for there.

Devin 8:42

Well, we're gonna go down a very far deep rabbit rail. Right, we're gonna go down a very, very far deep rabbit trail there. But what I'm what I'm simply getting at is at the end of the day, it is our responsibility to forgive no matter the offense, no matter if if it's something as simple as she forgot your diet coke at the store, or as somebody lost somebody else. Yeah, one of the things that I I kind of go back or that I went back to in the preparation for this episode. And I don't really, I don't know, nor do I really care where people land on this particular issue, but I think it's a beautiful picture of you take something like what happened with Charlie Kirk. And what's the first thing she said publicly after that? I forgive you. Yeah. Right? I forgive you. I've seen countless stories where somebody's lost somebody at the hands of another person, and they have to come back and they say, I forgive you. Because they know that that's what the God of the universe has called them to do. Not a not an easy thing to do. It's not an easy thing to do. And and here's the thing: this is this is kind of the next part to this. Forgiveness does not excuse the action. No, no, okay.

Jon 9:58

We kind of touched on that a minute ago. Yeah. That doesn't make because you sucker punch me in the face, that doesn't make you punching me in the face okay. Right. What it does is breaks me out of the prison of holding, holding you, holding it against you.

Devin 10:15

That's right. Because at the end of the day, it means that you're no longer a prisoner to this person

People Vs Actions And Bitterness

Devin 10:21

or their actions. It's kind of like the the age-old thing of rent-free, right? Like there are some people who are in this world that will exist purely just to try and live rent free rent-free in other people's minds. And the reality is, until you forgive, they do get rent-free. And I think for us, I think one of the things that we as believers struggle with immensely is not letting other people dominate the facets of your mind. Because the reality is there's enough crap in this world. There's enough bad people, there's enough things that of people who actually do suck, right? Right. There's enough people who are not out to be able to help somebody else, who are not out to help their brother, right? Or to help their help their sister in Christ. When when that person and you hold on to it, what it does is it leads to one thing and one thing only, and that is a place called Bettertown. You ever been? I have been there numerous times.

Jon 11:25

Unfortunately.

Devin 11:41

Luke 15, 20 through 32 is probably one of my favorite scriptural references for forgiveness from top to bottom because it it deals with that betrayal. It deals with the jealousy side of things, right? There are some people who say, Well, I don't want to forgive because that that means that they're off the hook. No, no, it doesn't. In fact, I would say this forgiving somebody does not mean instant trust. The beautiful thing about trust is that it can be rebuilt. And before we dive into that, I kind of

Freedom From Resentment

Devin 12:20

want to camp out here for just a second. Before we dive into the scriptural reference, one of the things that I think is important to understand because this comes, as we do this episode, this comes on the heels of a very difficult season that I just walked through. And I think of times in my life where I've had to forgive when the other person didn't deserve it. I've had to forgive. I what I learned a long time ago is that I had to forgive with or without the conversation, with or without the apology. Yeah. And that's extremely difficult. Because when there's an offense, it means that trust has been broken. But here's the beautiful things about trust. Trust can be rebuilt. And typically, when it is, it's rebuilt and it's a lot more strong, or it's a lot stronger and it's a lot more beautiful.

Jon 13:15

Yeah, it's not an easy thing to do necessarily, depending, you know, on the situation. But right.

Devin 13:21

And it doesn't mean that the relationship is without change. It doesn't mean that everything's just gonna go back. It doesn't mean that everything's okay. And you say, well, Devin, you've had to forgive through through those seasons where there was no there was no apology.

Jon 13:43

Yeah, like when you're a kid, you're taught, should be taught anyway, to say, I'm sorry, and the other person says I forgive you. You really have to forgive without the apology. You have to forgive without the other person even being sorry for what they did.

Devin 14:02

And you know, I think for me, so I I'm just gonna go ahead and kind of share this. I have a I have a friend of mine that because I'm I'm not afraid to share personal sides of things, right? Anyone that knows me knows this. You are an open book. I am an open book, and I will I will never change that aspect. And people say, Oh, you shouldn't say never. No, mm-mm. I'm going to be an open book because here's why. I believe that there is in lies a place of growth. Now I am careful about who I'm an open book to, right? I'm not I'm not gonna go to your neighbor over here and and say, Let me tell you my life story and confide in this person. I

Prodigal Son: Immediate Grace

Devin 14:41

don't even know him, but whoever that you see what I'm saying? Like, so there's a big difference with that. But I have a very good friend of mine that I've done life with for quite some time. And and I will not roll this person under the bus and I will I will not say what they did, but I will just say there was a very deep wound of a betrayal. And I remember I went to one of my spiritual counselors, and because by the way, if you don't have a spiritual counselor, you absolutely should. And I would recommend a multitude of them. And it can, it doesn't have to be, but it can be your pastor, it needs to be somebody who's going to hold you accountable, and it does not need to be your spouse. Yeah, no. Okay. So, but anyways, I remember going to my spiritual counselor, and my spiritual counselor was like, Okay, yes, what they did was unequivocally stupid. It was beyond idiotic. Do you deserve to rip their face clean off their shoulders? Absolutely. And he said, But Devin, what's the first thing you have to do? I was like, I I don't know where you're going with this. What do you where I'm still ticked off? Let me be mad, dang it. Right? And he said, That's fine. You can be mad, but what's the first thing you gotta do before you can move forward? I said, What? I d I don't know. And he goes, You have to forgive him. You have to. Because we are forgiven so that we can forgive others. Until you do forgive him, then you're just gonna be mad about it. That's right. Thank God. Thank you, Lord, that you did not go, I don't want to forgive him. Thank you, God, that you didn't say, I don't want to move forward. Thank you, God, that you didn't say, I don't want a relationship with this person anymore. Right? Of all the times that we wake up every single day and stab our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ in the back.

Jon 16:36

Yeah. Every, pretty much, pretty much every day.

Devin 16:40

And he still loves us. Go ahead and read for us, if you will, Luke chapter 15. Oh, I'm reading it. 20 through 32. Sure.

Jon 16:49

I got it. Okay. And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion and ran and embraced and kissed him. Ran and embraced and kissed him. And the son said to him, Father, I have sinned against heaven before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. But the father said to his servants, Bring quickly the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and shoes on his feet, and bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate. For this my son was dead and is alive. Again, he was lost and is found, and they began to celebrate. Stop right there for me.

Devin 17:29

One of the things I think that is often overlooked when we unpack the scripture is the fact that there was immediate reconciliation from the father to the son and the son to the father. Look at what it said. You said it earlier. Your voice kind of peaked whenever you said this. You said he ran and he embraced him and he kissed him. And the son said to him, I've said, No, no, no, no, no. I don't deserve it. I don't deserve for your forgiveness. I don't deserve for this ring. I don't deserve the party. I don't deserve the fat calf. I don't deserve the finest robe in the house. I don't deserve it basically. The son

Jealousy, Justice, And Celebration

Devin 18:12

is saying, look, I don't even deserve to be called your son. What could our world look like? If we behaved in a way, not that said, I don't deserve this, because that's self-defamation, right? But what could our world look like? What could our lives, our homes look like? If we said, you know what? I forgive you. It didn't mean that you it doesn't mean that it's that it's that it's an instantaneous process. Forgiveness is a process, it takes time. Right. But the son ran to him and the father immediately embraced him.

Jon 18:57

Yeah. Immediate immediate forgiveness.

Devin 19:00

Instinct. Keep going. Verse 25.

Jon 19:04

Now his older son was in the field and he came and drew near to the house. He heard music and dancing. He called one of the servants and asked what these things meant. He said to him, Your brother has come and your father has killed the fattened calf, because he has received him back safe and sound. But he was angry and refused to go in. His father came out and entered him, I'm sorry, entreated him, but he answered his father, Look, these many years I have served you, and I never disobeyed your command, yet you never gave me a young goat that I might celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours, who has devoured your property with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him. And he said to him, Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. It was fitting to celebrate and be glad for this for this your brother was dead and is alive. He was lost and is found.

Devin 19:56

One of the things I think that we need to remember. When when reading this passage, right? And I'm and I'm gonna go ahead and say our our church talked about this this topic recently. One of the things that I really took from it was at the end he said uh that his brother was was essentially jealous, right? Yeah, wait a second, big guy, hold on, because you gotta remember they threw a party, right? Yeah, and understandably so. Right. I didn't do any. I've dad, I've done everything you told me to do. Dad, I did this, dad, I did that. And you got to remember what these brothers were essentially waiting on was their inheritance. Right. And so when to understand the significance behind when whenever the son said, I'm not even worthy to be called your son, what that essentially would have meant is guess what? No inheritance for you, bro. And so it's huge to remember that by him saying that in and of itself, he wanted his father's forgiveness and he was willing to do whatever it takes. My question for our listeners today is do we want the forgiveness of other people? And if we do, then you have to forgive.

Jon 21:14

Yeah, I think

Wanting Forgiveness Means Giving It

Jon 21:15

everyone wants to be, everyone wants to be forgiven for things that they've done, you know, provided they're willing to admit that they've done anything wrong to begin with.

Devin 21:26

But and sometimes you're going to have that, right? I'm sorry, I don't mean to jump in on you. Sometimes you're going to have that. You're going to have that. Well, I don't really feel like I did anything wrong. It's not always about how you feel. Yeah. If the other person feels wrong, sometimes, yes, that's on them. However, if according to scripture, our call is to forgiveness and that person feels wronged and offended by you, then you need to evaluate for yourself.

Jon 21:57

Yeah. Like if someone corrects you slightly off topic here, but if someone current tells you that you're doing something wrong, whether you think you're doing something wrong or not, you have to at least consider the fact that they might be right. Like at a minimum. Stop and think about it. Like, wait a minute. Am I messing this up here? That's right.

Devin 22:16

And so here's kind of our call to action here, right? Is the first thing that we have to do whenever it comes to understanding forgiveness is exactly what the dad did in the beginning of this. You forgive instantly. Right. It means you give it to the Lord and you let it go. It means that you are no longer going to hold on to it and let it be bitter. Otherwise, you get more bitter over time, more bitter. Think about it this way. How many people do you know that say, I haven't talked to this person in X number of years? The level of bitterness there is astounding. When in reality, if we just simply had a difficult conversation, but the reality is this people don't like difficult conversations. And as I went to this person to try to forgive them and to work on that process,

The Call To Forgive Instantly

Devin 23:12

right? I sent numerous text messages, some phone calls, things like that. And I was completely shut out. And I remember like I I went to I went to my spiritual advisor and I was like, this don't make any sense. Let me get this straight. You offended and betrayed me, but then don't answer whenever I send you stuff. They don't want to have he doesn't want to have the conversation. Because you don't want to have that difficult conversation, right? And so to me, I think if you want to live a life that is uncommon, you need to get comfortable being uncomfortable. Yeah, if in order to apologize, you have to actually admit wrongdoing. That's right. But it has to be, you can forgive instantly and then work through the process of it. You can say, if I punch you in the face, then I say, and you say, Devin, I forgive you. Guess what? The shiner's still gonna be there. There's probably gonna be a little bit of I don't know. I'm not that that strong of a but you see what I'm saying, right? There's still going to be that process of healing, but the forgiveness is what you're not holding on to. You're not willing to be this person's source or let this person be the source of your bitterness. I I think that to me, that is that is one of the things that hold that holds us back from our true potential of living a life that is uncommon is that bitterness.

Jon 24:28

Yeah. And I can speak again, I can speak from experience. There's that a lot of what you just said ties in what you said a minute ago about do I know anybody that hasn't talked to someone else in a long time? Yeah. The part of the the details of what I was talking about earlier, yeah, ties in with that. And from personal experience, like the the bitterness will hold you prisoner.

Devin 24:56

That's right.

Jon 24:57

And it's it is not fun. It is not fun. And it will lock you up in chains and not let you go. Yeah. You just randomly like for me, I would just randomly just think about it and just immediately get really off great.

Devin 25:13

Yeah.

Jon 25:14

And the only thing you could do, well, the only thing I did at that in most of those moments until I finally was able to forgive is pray, which hell. Turns out I wasn't really praying for the wrong for the right thing. At a certain point, I finally, once I realized what I needed to do, because that was it was hard to it was hard to realize that I even needed to forgive. Oddly enough. I don't know why.

Devin 25:44

But for me, remember you have an adversary that doesn't want you to. Well, that's true. He wants you to be better. Yeah. Right. And I've said this before, I think on this podcast, there is nothing in this world that you're going to go through that Jesus himself never experienced. Absolutely.

Unconditional And Complete Forgiveness

Devin 26:01

And we need Jesus' forgiveness every single day. The second thing behind in your call or for your call to action, behind forgiving instantly, is you have to forgive unconditionally. It cannot be a situation of I forgive you if you do this, this, and this, or I forgive you as long as you never do, as long as you you pay me money or whatever, right? Right. Whatever that one, whatever your conditions look like, you have to get rid of forgiveness.

Jon 26:32

I'll forgive you if you apologize.

Devin 26:33

That's right. That's right. It has to be done unconditionally. And I will go ahead and say this this person, they did a the with the story that I was telling you about, they did apologize to me, but then with me being shut out to me, that's a new offense in and of itself. Guess what? It's already forgiven. Right. Right. And and you have to understand, man. Again, I'm not going into detail, but this was a deep betrayal wound. This was somebody that I considered on some level, that is a very loud truck. It was loud. That I that I have considered for a very long time as a brother to me. So for that betrayal wound to be there, it is not easy to sit back and say, you know what, I forgive you, but I do.

Jon 27:23

One thing that the Bible says is that your sins are cast as far as the East from the West.

Devin 27:32

And here's the thing: do I want to have a conversation with every person who's ever wronged me? Yes. But the reality is this, man, in order to access unconditional forgiveness, you have to realize that that may or may not come with an apology.

Jon 27:49

Right.

Devin 27:50

You cannot forgive if that person apologizes and that be your condition. Because once again, just like with bitterness, you're a slave to whatever condition you have put that person under.

Jon 28:01

Right. And you have like like I was what I was getting at with your sins as far as East is

Prayer, Strength, And Letting Go

Jon 28:08

from the West. You forgive completely. You get a fresh start. It is forgotten. That's not to say that you have to completely forget, like completely, literally forget that it happened. But you're not going to hold it against them. You're not going to bring it up. You're going to let it go. Like to actually let it go, you're not going to it doesn't even need to be mentioned again.

Devin 28:37

That's right. If if I ever sit down and have a conversation with a number of people that have wronged me. And here's the thing: I actually have said the words, I'll forgive this person whenever they sit down and have a conversation with me. And it wasn't until I had somebody call me out on my craps where I could help with this life of uncommon, of being uncommon, where he said, No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You that's a condition. You have to forgive unconditionally. You have to forgive, as you said, you have to forgive completely and start afresh. It never has to be brought up again. Because I argue this if it's brought up several years down the road, I argue true forgiveness never took place. So how do we do that, John? How do we do that? How do we apply this action of forgiveness?

Jon 29:28

Well, it starts with prayer. That's right. It starts with prayer. You have to pray for God to help you forgive this person for whatever the case is. Pray for forgiveness. Pray for strength to forgive. Because it's not an easy thing to do. You have to have there's there's some strength behind it.

Devin 29:51

I think the the next thing though that you have to do, you have to

Forgiveness Vs Reconciliation

Devin 29:55

fully you have to realize this, and this is a difficult concept to understand. You don't have to fully reconcile immediately. Right?

Jon 30:07

Reconcile sometimes So you forgive immediately. Yeah. But reconciling and forgiveness.

Devin 30:15

Right, because understand this forgiveness and reconciliation are two completely different things. You have to allow, number one, you have to allow time to heal. Right. That's that's the first thing. Time does heal some wounds, it heals a lot of wounds. It does not heal all wounds. My I lost somebody very, very close to me 15 years ago, and I lost somebody very, very close to me that they've gone, they've both gone on to be to be with the Lord three years ago. Guess what? I missed the heck out of each of them out of both of them equally. Right. Right. So it does not heal all wounds. It heals a lot, but it does not heal every single one of them. But to understand the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation, forgiveness means you're this person is no longer going to occupy the headspace in my head. Right. Whereas reconciliation is you put back you put or you put into place safeguards and measures that ensure that something like this never happens again. You start to repair the relationship. That's right. It's kind of like if you have forgive and then reconcile.

Jon 31:18

Exactly. Sometimes in minor, your wife forgot to do, forgot to get you something from the store. Sometimes those things can happen in the same exact conversation within a span of like 30 seconds. Like because it's not really that big of a deal. Like if you get mad because your wife forgot to get you deodorant, that's a you problem, most likely. That's a problem for a lot of people.

Devin 31:40

If you think about it. Probably.

Jon 31:42

Yeah. But like if you if you get mad because someone just simply forgot something that simple, like anyway, that's what you're doing. Getting off topic happens. Right, right, right. Getting off topic here. But sometimes those things can happen in the exact same conversation within a span of 30 seconds. Other times forgiveness has to happen, and then the other person has to be willing to reconcile and actually rebuild that relationship.

Devin 32:04

It may be three months, it may be six months, it may be three years, it may be six years. But at the end of the day, listen, does reconciliation need to happen? That's up to you. But forgiveness is a must. I mean, you should definitely try. Absolutely. You should try to reconcile, especially if it's with your spouse. But that said, understanding this, that the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation, forgiveness does not excuse it. It means that you're no, it means that you're no longer going to be their victim. Reconciliation is where new safeguards, new measures, things like that get brought into place. Maybe if somebody steals from you, your safeguard would be that you don't let them in your truck alone or you don't let them in your house alone, right? So that's your safeguard. And apply that however you will to your life. But I think if if we as men want to live a life that is uncommon, then tackling difficult issues

Safeguards, Trust, And Repair

Devin 33:05

like this are paramount to us achieving that.

Jon 33:10

And another thing that a reconciliation does, repairing a relationship after something like that, it slaps cancel culture right in the face.

Devin 33:18

Oh, God, doesn't it though? Yeah. Because the but because because the world tells you, heck no, man, that person they did this. Oh, you're done. They're dead. That's right. You better go ahead and just call the call the body bag people now, right?

Jon 33:32

Yeah. And it's it's I just think it's hilarious to but that but is that not cancel culture, and then there's the Bible that completely contradicts cancel culture. That's right. Like you can't, it's sorry.

Devin 33:45

And so and so that's another thing. And so that that I think I think where you're getting at is for us to do and live that life that is uncommon, to be an uncommon man, to be an uncommon leader. You have to do the things for your life, for your faith, for your family, and as a leader that other people are not willing to do. The majority of people are not willing to forgive. The majority of people are not willing to move forward, the majority of people are not willing to reconcile. For you to live a life that is uncommon, forgiveness is an absolute must have.

Jon 34:23

Right. And it's not, it's not always an easy thing to do. That's right. It can be very, very difficult.

Devin 34:30

And if you're out there and you say, You have no idea what I've been through, you're right, I don't. But I know a God of the universe that loves you more than you could ever ask, think, or imagine, who's already forgiving you. It's not too late and you've never gone too far. Let me pray for us. Father, we love you. God, thank you so much that you forgave us. God, that you wrote the book on what it looks like to forgive other people, on what it looks like. God, whenever you forgave us, you forgave us of our trespasses so that we could forgive those who have trespassed against us. God, my prayer right now is for every man out there, every person that's out there that's listening to this under the sound of my voice, God, that you would perform spiritual surgery on their hearts to be able to forgive, to recognize that that is where true freedom is found. May we reconcile with people. May we have the difficult conversations. And in everything we do, we bring honor and glory to your name. It's in your name we pray. Amen.

Jon 35:35

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