7. Influence Grows in Uncomfortable Places

Real influence isn’t loud—it’s earned.
In this episode, we break down how character, consistency, and disciplined effort shape the kind of influence that actually lasts. We talk self-leadership, doing hard things, and aligning faith, family, and work so your life matches what you say you want. Influence grows when you become someone worth following—and that work starts daily.

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Transcript

Welcome, Banter, And Coffee

Devin 0:09

Welcome to the Uncommon Man podcast. I am your host, Devin Jeffries, alongside a very good friend of mine, Mr. John Pierce. John, how's it going? It is going. It's going. It's going. Man, I'm just glad to be back to be here doing this again with you. Uh, it's so much fun. We we get tons of comments and interactions, and we we can't tell you what that means to us.

Jon 0:35

What what's really great is the phone. I've had phone calls and text messages. So that's it, it is really great. Yeah. Keep keep it coming.

Devin 0:45

Thank you guys so much. John and I stepped out on a limb here because we felt called to do this, and it's just such an honor to have you along this journey with us. We are here tonight with our coffee.

Jon 0:58

Again. Again. So it's not night when you're listening to this, maybe. Maybe it is. I don't know. You can listen to this whenever you want, but it's nighttime right now, and we are drinking coffee. I got my my Smoky Mountains National Park Cup, and you have And I get the freaking U.S. Space and Rocket Center. Hey, that place is awesome. I mean that's a cool cup.

Devin 1:17

Yeah, yeah. Maybe do you think maybe one day we could get like a sponsorship from a coffee place or a coffee company or get somebody to do like Uncommon Man podcast coffee mugs?

Jon 1:27

I mean, if we could make the mugs and sell them in places, maybe. I'm just saying, I feel like we're getting a little ahead of ourselves here.

Devin 1:35

I think our listeners need to help make this happen. Anyways, anyway, you you have a new addition in in your life,

Dogs, Family Life, And Humor

Devin 1:45

Mr. Pierce.

Jon 1:46

Kind of. It's more like Laura has a new addition in her life, and I'm also part of it. Whatever. She got a dog. What kind of dog did she get? She got a wiener dog. Of all of the dogs.

Devin 1:59

The most useless dog on the planet.

Jon 2:01

Well, no. No, it's above Chihuahuas. It's above Chihuahuas and teacup poodles. It's above Yorki's. It's still an ankle biter. Be that as it may. It's it's yes.

Devin 2:13

So you, Mr. Former Military, tatted up, guns up. Okay.

Jon 2:20

You can chill with that.

Devin 2:22

All that are now the proud co-order parent of a waiter dog.

Jon 2:29

John Pierce, ladies and gentlemen. We don't live in the same house, but well, no, but she still I will say that thing is adorable. It's like a long-haired, what do they call it? Dapple something. I don't know. It's not a solid color. It's freaking adorable. So what you're saying is you like I would rather have a Doberman or anything else, basically, but I feel like a Doberman and the Mastiff and the Great Dane is like every guy's dream dog. Pipples, German Shepherds, crazy people that want Belgian Malinois unless they're actually dog people. Yeah, you lost me there.

Devin 3:07

But for me, it's Mastive. I want a Mastiff. I I don't know why. It's just it's it's a dog that I've always wanted. Instead, I've got two. I've got Gracie, who is a lab retriever. She's getting old up there in age. She's she's an old girl. She's very much settled in her ways. And poor thing, about as soon as she gets used to something, something else changes. About as soon as she got used to single Devin, I I I met Brittany, my now wife. By the time she got used to that, she had a long distance or a long time frame there. She got introduced to Samson, my other dog, who is a lab shepherd, and wound up on every bit of caffeine that is ever made. This dog never stops. Literally comes over to my bed, my side of the bed to tell me goodnight and then sprints to the other side of the bed. And then like throws himself very aggressively down on his bed and just goes to sleep. He's the weirdest dog in the world. He's my he's my he's the only boy beside like the only man in the house besides me. All right, because I have a wife, Gracie's a female dog, and then I have two daughters. So it's just me and Samson, man. And then, but anyways, by the time Gracie got used to Samson, here comes Ariel, my oldest daughter. By the time she got used to Ariel, here comes Blakely, my now two-month-old daughter, and yeah, it's over.

Jon 4:35

It's good thing is you he doesn't notice that, I'm sure.

Devin 4:38

That it's all females besides you.

Jon 4:40

Yeah, no, I guess they know, but like I don't think they care.

Devin 4:43

I don't know, man. Yeah, because what was weird? You know, they say like when a woman's pregnant, like the dog cleans, like yeah, did that happen? Yeah, no, no, yeah, it did, but to me, Samson never left my side. Interesting.

Jon 4:55

Maybe you thought you were pregnant. Lots of estrogen flowing through those face.

Devin 4:58

You know what? I get that I'm on a journey now of losing weight, but that felt like a cheap shot. It was. Okay, thanks a lot. Anyways, on to the episode. Uh if John Pierce is not here next week, you all know why.

Jon 5:09

I've already been told when when you made the the what we were talking about in one episode about reaching across the table and slapping me or something. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Somebody told me who was it? I forget. Somebody told me he's like, you could totally take Devin, by the way.

Devin 5:25

Well, sure they could. I'm willing to bet this was Two Scoop Tony. Two Scoop Tony. Shout out. Go follow him on Instagram. That's his instant. Despite the or or or I'm sorry, the fact that somebody with the nickname Two Scoop Tony is saying this. Have you seen that dude? No.

Jon 5:42

He definitely takes two scoops of his protein powder.

Devin 5:45

Oh, yes. See, I am a fetic because I was thinking like two scoops of ice cream.

Jon 5:49

No. He works in the gym next to the church. He did, at least at one point, I think. Wait, wait, wait. Is this maybe he still does? Is this a dude with the epic broomstash? Yes. He had an epic Yeah, I think he had an epic beard at one point, but now he has an epic mustache.

Devin 6:04

Yeah, no, you okay. So fine. I will give two Tony his his due there. Then that's that's you don't know who Tony is. I think I do.

Jon 6:11

I think he's listening to this and he's offended right now.

Devin 6:13

Okay. Well, I'm sorry, Tup Tony. I I I will never forget now. I'm very terribly sorry. Anyways, on to the episode before we lose everybody. We already, it's okay. They've already turned it off. Found another podcast. I mean, I would have. Now, actually, what are

Defining Power, Influence, And Impact

Devin 6:30

we talking about today? So, today we're gonna go over some different kind of tough love tactics that are gonna explode your personal power, your influence, and your impact. And we're gonna get we're gonna kind of break this up into a few different episodes. Okay. And when we do, one of the things we want really for this to take off with is to find it all in one shell, if you will. Okay. And what as we unpack and open this shell up, we find different tactics to explode our power, our influence, and our impact on life. And so today, in the first part of this kind of stint that we're gonna do, I think we're gonna break it up over three episodes. And in this first part of this kind of stint, we're gonna talk about getting what to get what you want, you've got to deserve it. We're gonna do life gets better when you do, and we're gonna do we're gonna talk about doing more hard things, which I think doing more hard things could truthfully be its own episode in and of itself.

Jon 7:38

It could be. But uh we these other two that we're doing today are short enough that we can tie that in, I think.

Devin 7:45

That's right.

Jon 7:46

So in in this first one, before we start though, uh, I think when you say can talk about let's talk about power a little bit. That can be viewed very differently by different people. Some people say power and they think the CEO in a in a high-rise building or something like that. What define what you mean by exploding your power exactly?

Devin 8:08

So whenever I say power, what I'm talking about is going to be the amount of reach that you have in people's lives. The amount of excuse me, can also be labeled as as influence. They're kind of synonymous in this, in this stint, in what we're talking about.

Jon 8:25

That was my next question. How is it different than influence?

Devin 8:27

Yeah, they're they're kind of synonymous here because defining your reach and exploding in your power means that you are somebody who has a high level of influence and an impact on somebody's life. Which, if we're talking about the on this on the Uncommon Man podcast, is very, very different because people chase the wrong kinds of power.

Jon 8:52

Yeah.

Devin 8:53

Right? Yeah, absolutely. That's specifically why I asked. So what we want to do is we want to kind of redefine what power and influence looks like in the in this series.

Jon 9:04

From a more of a leadership perspective.

Devin 9:07

From uh from more of a leadership perspective, but then also I think a biblical perspective, because I think I think David is somebody that you see that abused, right, abused his power to gain what he wanted. In some cases, yeah. Mm-hmm. But then went on in other areas to make a massive, massive impact for the kingdom.

unknown 9:26

Right.

Jon 9:27

Well, while we're at it, how did David abuse his power? From about Bathsheba here.

Devin 9:30

Yeah. All right. Yeah. So he he used his power to send Bathsheba's husband to the front lines of a war, knowing good and well that he would be killed. Yeah. Would not return, and then he could have Bathsheba all to himself.

Jon 9:43

In a day when kings normally were up fighting the war with their I don't think troops is the right word, but whatever they call it.

Devin 9:53

Right, but it's so so David abused his power in order to gain what he wanted. What I'm talking about in this series is using our power to gain influence and impact on people's lives. Because I think when you do that, you truly do become somebody that's uncommon.

Jon 10:12

It's like Yeah, the the verse, the meek shall inherit the earth. I've heard it explained Take this how you will, but I've heard that explained that the actual translation of that is better. He who keeps his sword sheathed is a better translation than meek. Because it's you should have the ability to be quote unquote dangerous, but keeping your sword sheathed. It's like a martial arts expert that could twist you into a pretzel

David’s Example Of Misused Power

Jon 10:50

and kill you with little to no effort, especially with somebody that doesn't have any training, but but they don't. They keep it sheathed until it's absolutely necessary.

SPEAKER_02 11:00

Yeah.

Jon 11:00

It seems like it kind of I'm on the right track here. Yeah, no, you absolutely are.

Devin 11:05

It does, it it it coincides with with what we're talking about very, very well. I think that's a great illustration. But I think for for this, where we're where we're trying to go is talking about where we want to get reach, influence, power, impact, whatever you want in those around you, whether that's your family, whether that's at your job, at your church, or wherever it is that you are, whatever people you're with, you can still make an impact. I heard a story the other day on another podcast where this four-star general was giving, they were trying to come up with solutions to a problem. And this four-star general turns around and he says, Well, I think we should do this, right? And the lowest ranking member in the room, like everybody else, all of the other generals were all going, Yeah, no, I we think that's a great idea. That's a great idea, General. Thank you so much for your leadership. That's amazing. And the lowest ranking member in the room stepped up and goes, General, with all due respect, that's a horrible idea. And here's why it's not going to work. And that four-star general had one of two choices to make. He could either accept the correction from somebody who was air quotes beneath him, or he could apply it into making it something better. In other words, how did he want to use his power? And he chose to listen to this lowest ranking official, and he said, that's what we need. We need more people who are willing to step up and lead regardless of the circumstances they're in.

Jon 12:46

I've seen things I've seen things like that happen before. I can't give you a specific example, but he had, you're right, he had two choices. Now, in the event that that person that stepped up was actually wrong for whatever reason, he could more or less use the sandwich method and be like, I I'm really glad you stepped up, I'm glad you said that, so on and so forth. But you're missing this part of it, and that's why. However, thank you for saying something.

Devin 13:16

That's right. So in in talking about the power, the influence, and the impact, the first point that I would make is this in order to get what you want, whether again, whether that's in life, whatever, whatever this looks like for you, in order to get what you want, you've got to deserve it. If you don't earn it, you don't deserve to have it.

Jon 13:39

And again, with the specific word deserve.

Deserve It: Faith With Work

Jon 13:45

Depends on how we look at that. So from a biblical perspective, we don't deserve anything. That's correct. At all. So let's define what we mean by deserve a little bit.

Devin 13:59

Deserve in this context means you don't get to sit there and say, Lord, I want your blessing. God, I need this in my life, I need this in my life, and I need, and you begin to list off the laundry list of stuff that you want andor need in your life, but then not position your yourself or your heart to be in tune with the Father, to be in tune with what his will and his plan are. If you, in other words, this if you pray for a million dollars, but then aren't doing what it takes to actively go earn a million dollars, you don't deserve it. You got to put feet to your faith. That's right. Because you can't sit there and say, I want, I want this, this, and this, God, or I need this, this, and this, and then turn around and sit on your hands and wonder when in the world it's gonna show up. Because faith without works is absolutely dead. Exactly. And I think far too many men today sit there and say, If I if I just had a little bit more money, then I could do this. It's never enough. Oh, yeah, no, it'll never be enough. That's right. So, so what I'm what I'm getting at here is in order to deserve it, you have to put the action behind it. Talking about it and saying, baby, I'm gonna do this better and this better about being a better husband or a better father, but then not doing anything makes you a liar. It makes you somebody not worth listening to. So in order to in order to earn it, you have to deserve it. If you don't earn it, you don't deserve it.

Jon 15:33

Yeah. No, you're you're absolutely right about that. You can't you can't sit there and pray for something and put no effort towards actually getting the thing.

Devin 15:42

Exactly. If you are not willing to work it, to earn it, and to deserve it, you will lose it all point blank in the period. In other words, if you just sit there on your hands and make your and and and in other words, if God becomes something on a shelf or a checklist for you. Yeah, it's something you grab off the shelf when you need it. God is not and God's not your vending machine.

Jon 16:09

Nope.

unknown 16:10

Okay.

Devin 16:11

We've said that before. That's right. You don't get to just press the button and say, Hey, God, I need you, big guy. My life's falling apart.

Jon 16:20

I need you. Now, now you that is what you're supposed to do. If your life's falling apart, that's absolutely what you're supposed to do. Right, but what I'm saying is that can't be the only time that you reach out to him. But you can't be a cat you're right. Exactly. And you can't sit and be a couch potato at the same time.

Devin 16:36

Exactly. So I can't sit there and say, you know, I want to I told you earlier today that I've I've recently started exercising and am working out pretty consistently. Congratulations. Thank you. I have my days, sure. But if I'm not willing, if I if I just sit there and say, hey God, I want rock hard six-pack abs and muscles like two scoop Tony. But then I sit on the couch and eat cookie cake all day. As delicious as cookie cake is. Alright, so it's a cookie. This is gonna make me sound so fat. It's it's a it's a giant cookie with icing on top of it.

Jon 17:28

Like whenever I think it's just one of those big cookies, yeah. One of those, like, but it has icing on it? And it has yeah, you added extra sugar to the cookie for no reason.

Devin 17:36

Why not, bro?

Jon 17:38

It's ultimate fat man snack.

Devin 17:40

Okay. There's a guy, there's an overweight guy listening to this right now going, heck yeah, baby. But anyways, I started so I started my exercise journey, and and truthfully, here's why. I saw the very first episode we did, and I was like, You look like a fat tub of lard. I'm glad you said it before I did. Like, you need to be better. Because I didn't want to have to say it. Well, thanks. But you said it. And then I've mentioned my oldest brother on here before who who's, you know, not afraid to give it to me as it is. They say the same thing. And he no, he essentially he said, You don't look good. And I went, thanks. So no, so uh honestly, I went, decided to just, you know, small things here and there of making better decisions. But I can't, you know, what I'm saying whenever I uh whenever I say, if you're not willing to work it, earn it, deserve it, you're gonna lose it all, is I can't sit there and say that I want rock hard six-pack abs and then do those things and then not be willing to put forth the effort. If I don't do that and I don't put feet to my faith, I will lose it all.

Jon 18:51

Another example of that could be if say there's something that you want to do that say there's something God's called you to do. Whatever that is, it might require a little bit of money. A mission trip, for instance, that that requires money. You're like, all right, God, this is something you want me to do. I need I need the money to do it. And then you pray for it, you still have to put in some effort, you have to go look for a way to earn that money.

Devin 19:20

You know, I think back to the pastors of our church, and they had a calling on their lives to plant a church in Alabaster, Alabama. And uh then for I think three years, worked a completely secular separate job.

Jon 19:36

Yeah.

Devin 19:36

Just to be able to make enough money, and then now it's exploded into you know, seven, eight hundred people on any given weekend spread out over three experiences, five total, if you include the two campuses. Like that's the incredible part. They put feet behind it, yeah. They had a calling on their life and they put something to it. So, guess what happened? Because they were willing to work it, they earned it. Because they earned it, they deserved it. That's my point. Okay. Number two, life gets better when you do.

Jon 20:11

And this is gonna tie into number three, but so work on yourself as hard as you work on your job.

Devin 20:18

I said this last week that entirely too many people give their effort, their social battery, their emotional stability to their job, and then give them give their family the leftovers, and then there's nothing left for themselves.

Jon 20:33

And that could be not necessarily your job either. That could be your job plus a hobby that you do four days a week or whatever that is.

Devin 20:40

And so what so and essentially what you're saying is work on yourself as hard as you work on your job or whatever it is, like you said, that you do, is that you're you're going to do ultimately what is important to you. Ultimately. Yeah. In other words, this if it's important for me to lose weight, I'm going to make it a priority. Right. Right. If it's important to you to be able to take two scoop Tony in a fight. I couldn't take him. Nah, I mean, I if it's the same guy that I'm thinking, it it absolutely is.

Jon 21:15

He's the only one with that mustache. So yeah. Yeah, it absolutely is.

Life Gets Better When You Do

Devin 21:22

Bud.

Jon 21:22

You should.

Devin 21:23

You should fill out the podcast. We should have fully crap. We should have him on the podcast. Sure. All right. Anyways, so working on yourself, though, as hard as you work on your job.

Jon 21:36

Let's talk about working on yourself a little bit. What does that mean? Let's dive into how to work on yourself. So this could be this could be a whole episode in and of itself, really, but we'll we'll more or less kind of gloss over it here a little bit. So working on yourself can be a multitude of different things. It could be I need to Lose weight, as Devin has said. It could be, I need to be better at this area of my life. We've touched on this before. How do we get better at this area of our life? And I believe we said make a list of the things that you are good at. And then on the other side of the page, put the list of things that you really need to work on. My list, very lopsided. And work on moving those things to the left side of the list. Now you have to be honest with yourself. Like I suck. You know how I suck at spending time with my kids. Do you know how long the average father spends with their kids?

Devin 22:38

No.

Jon 22:38

Ten seconds.

Devin 22:41

No way.

Jon 22:41

Dad series. In a given day. The average dad, because of just how life works, and and I mean I don't mean sitting on the other end of the couch watching TV. I mean intentionally engaged with your child. Intentionally engaged in playing or I don't know, helping them with their homework, teaching them something, whatever. Intentional engagement, the average is like 10 seconds.

Devin 23:05

You know, as you're saying that, I'm I'm sitting here and thinking to myself, like, dude, a week ago, I bought my daughter, she turned three. I bought my daughter a um a truck that like one of those toddler trucks. The you know what I'm talking about, the little battery-powered one.

Jon 23:20

And the one that looks just like your truck.

Devin 23:22

Yeah, it's an exact replica of my truck. And I bought it for her, and then there was a couple days where it got cold for a little bit. So, you know, didn't want to get her outside and get her get her sick. But then there were plenty of warm days. It's been a week and my daughter hasn't been in it. And I'm sitting here thinking to myself, as you're saying that, I'm like, I've got to be better about that. Well, I mean, so you so so, in other words, this man, what what here here's what we're saying. If you're listening to this podcast, here's exactly where I'm going with that. Even like like, look, we don't have it all together, right? There's plenty of things that John needs to work on, there's plenty of things that Devin needs to work on. And so if you're sitting there saying, like, oh well, the you you've just got this, this, and this, so it's easy for you to the bulls not, man. We like it's it's tough for us to be able to to do to do what we're doing.

Jon 24:09

We're on a journey and we're dragging you along with us. But I mean chains and all the the the whole point behind me saying that was maybe you suck at spending time with your kids. Yeah. Maybe I don't know, pick something. There's plenty of things that we all suck at. But work on yourself. Yeah. Maybe you have some I don't know, mental things going on. Maybe you're depressed. Work on it. Whatever that may look like. Go see a therapist if you need to. Whatever that whatever it may be.

Devin 24:40

But working on yourself as hard as you do your job is when life gets better. Remember what I said just a minute ago. Life gets better when you do. Yep. When you make a decision that you're going to be better in XYZ area, life gets better.

Jon 24:59

Yeah, this I mean, and in the notes here, to get more than to get more than you got. Sorry, you typed that weird. To get more than you got, you gotta become more than you are. Which and to get more than you got, that goes back to this whole this whole thing ties back to self-leadership. You have to be someone that's even worth following. Yep. Because it you can't get more of whatever it is that you want, whether that be m influence or on the people around you, if you're not even leading yourself.

Devin 25:35

To get right, but the reason I typed it this way to get more than you got, you got to become more than you are. Think about it this way. If you're a bank teller, and like let's just use this as an example. I was I was helping coach this guy a few weeks ago, and he's a bank teller, and he he turned around and he was just like, Man, it's a dead end job, like I'm tired of doing this, and blah, blah, blah. And it's just not going

Practical Self-Work And Honesty

Devin 26:00

nowhere. And I turn around and I said, Then what are you doing to separate yourself from the other people that you work with? He goes, Well, how do you mean? And I said, When are you supposed to be at work? And he goes, 8 15. I said, When do you get there? And he goes, 810, 815. And I said, Okay, you're on time if you're 10 minutes early. You're late if you're on time. Yep. And then I said, uh, second of all, if we are both bank tellers and you're getting there at 810, but I'm getting there at 8 o'clock, by the time I get there, I've already done 10 minutes worth of work more than you. Doesn't matter that I'm not supposed to be there till 8.15. I'm doing more than you. When it comes time for a promotion or for something else to be coming up, who do you think they're gonna pick me or you?

Jon 26:41

Because over time people are gonna notice. That's exactly it. They're gonna notice you working all you have to do is outrun the fat guy if you want to outrun a bear. Exactly. It's kind of like I don't have like if a bear's chasing me and you, I'm gonna win every time.

Devin 26:53

Well, yeah, you because you're gonna outrun me. Well, so but lose weight. I'm working on it. Freaking jackwagon. Can you tell 11? Anyways. But yeah, to get more than you've got, you gotta become more than you are. You cannot sit there and say to yourself, I want to do I want this much power, influence, and impact in people's lives, and then continue to do the same exact mundane thing that's gotten you to where you are.

Jon 27:20

Yeah, and this even applies, like if you just I don't I'm not condoning chasing money here at all, because that's as we have already said.

Devin 27:30

Let me put it this way before you carry that on. If you chase money, that's a race you will always lose.

Jon 27:34

Yeah, it's never gonna be enough. You got Maslow's hierarchy there, then we're not gonna get into because that's gonna be a 30-minute tangent. But it even if it's money, if you need more money for something, you 1% better every day. Just be a little bit better today than you were yesterday in some area.

Devin 27:53

And that leads into the last one. Do more hard things.

Jon 28:00

Yeah, d doing hard things is way more important than people realize. Like we have to do hard things in our lives. I think you should challenge yourself at least once a year to do something very hard that seems unreachable, whether that's some physical feat or whatever it is in your business to achieve some goal. Set a goal. If it's if it isn't business, set a goal that seems absolutely unreachable. And if you don't make it there, like hey, you probably got it if even if you got close to it, you're still better. If you set a goal, you're like, this is achievable. Well, guess what? You're gonna get small, you're gonna get to your goal and you're you're not gonna try anymore because you reached your goal.

Devin 28:51

Steven Furtick, a very famous pastor, said this. If the odds, or I'm sorry, he said he said, if the goals for your life don't scare the living hell out of you, there's a good chance it's insulting to God. If the goals for your life don't scare you and scare the living hell out of you, there's a good chance it's insulting to God. Like, mic drop, boom, podcast over. Okay. But that that's what I'm getting at is it's to do more hard things. I have a very, I have a very good friend of mine that I I used to like go to church with this guy all the time. We used to all the time or just on Sundays? No, like all the time. Dude, we were I'm just picking this. I know, I know. You continue. This was back when we attended a church that even had like Wednesday night worships and things like that. And we used to go all the time. And then I watched him slowly step away from his faith. And it was hard. And I did everything I've I've done everything I know to do to bring him back to his faith. But then what I've seen is slowly but surely his life has begun to deteriorate. His marriage suffered, his relationship with his kids suffered, all because he stepped away from the will and the call of God on his life. This guy, when things get hard, he bails. He doesn't want to do the hard stuff. It's got to be convenient, it's got to be on his time. And all I'm simply saying, it's pain avoidance. You can't live like that. That's not fair. That's not fair to yourself. Like, want more and do better for yourself than to just sit there and say, Well, if it's not convenient for me. We live in such a convenient society that if it doesn't fit our time and our schedule, we're not willing to step outside and go, you know what? This sucks. Embrace the suck. Hmm.

Jon 30:48

Yeah. I have a my favorite t-shirt says strength through suffering on the back of it. Um, and I think what you're kind of what you're getting at there is instant gratification.

Devin 30:57

Yeah, because here's what instant gratification does it makes you soft. Yeah. It it really I'm not sorry for what I said. Some but somebody's feelings I just hurt, and I'm not sorry. Instant gratification makes you soft and conditioned to convenience.

Jon 31:11

What did you what did you say? You said something when you walked in my house earlier. I don't know. Gem related. I said I was sore. Yeah, you said you were sore.

Devin 31:21

Uh-huh.

Jon 31:21

Because you went to the gym.

Devin 31:22

Yeah.

Jon 31:23

You did something.

Devin 31:24

Well, I ran, but yeah.

Jon 31:25

Okay, whatever. You ran. You were sore. So it's uncomfortable. Yep. You can't grow without being uncomfortable. Sucks. Comfort kills you.

Devin 31:36

Dead. Exactly. Exactly. And and what it does is it conditions you to convenience. That's also known as your comfort zone. See, like I am to a degree an instant gratification guy. I saw I saw this meme the other day. Like with the grass. Yeah, like like with the grass. Like I don't mind cutting grass because it is instant gratification. But I'll tell you something I hate doing. I hated putting that truck together for my daughter a week ago. You know why? Because it took me two stinking hours because the freaking QR code on the box that they said, here, scan this, it'll make it easier to put together. Didn't work. And then the instructions were garbage. Okay, let's stop complaining about the truck. And and I wanted I wanted to be able to just crack open the box and bam, there's the truck. Instead, I had two hours, a lot of frustration and a lot of like going on.

Jon 32:34

Oh gosh. Speaking of Amazon, if it takes more than two days to get something that you ordered

Do More Hard Things

Jon 32:40

on Amazon, that is the most frustrating thing on the planet.

Devin 32:43

Prime. First world problems, by the way.

Jon 32:46

But who doesn't have prime though? I mean, that's true. Everybody. I'm pretty sure my dad even has prime.

Devin 32:53

I think he does. I mean, I know I know my mom and dad do. But what I'm what I'm getting at is that therefore the instant gratification makes you soft and conditioned to convenience. When you're conditioned to convenience, you will not stretch yourself to do those hard things. And I think that that kind of bleeds into this next point of working through discomfort is how you grow. Me, my legs are sore because I ran.

unknown 33:20

Yeah.

Devin 33:20

Not from anything and not from anyone. I turned on a podcast or some music and I just took off and I just started running. And when I walked through or worked through the discomfort that my legs were feeling and how tired I was whenever I worked through that discomfort over time in one day, did it help? No. In one week, did it do anything? Not really. In one month, good luck.

Jon 33:52

Or if you run every day for a month, you'll definitely notice a difference.

Devin 33:55

Sure. But what happens if I run for six months for a year? I mean, yeah. Right? Yes. Because I worked through the discomfort. That's how I grew.

Jon 34:04

Now, discomfort here doesn't just mean physical discomfort. It could be a slew of things. It could be something. Sometimes bad things happen to good people, right? That's right. Sometimes bad things happen. And those bad things that you're dealing with are a a way for you to grow. Like you deal with the pain, whether it be mental, emotional, whatever it is, you're gonna you're gonna come out stronger on the other side of it.

Devin 34:38

Talk about the emotional pain for a second. That mental pain. Because that's something that I think is very, I don't think I know is very prevalent in our society today, especially amongst men. Yeah. And the problem is this, they don't have an out. So what they do is they create one. Yep. When there's emotional discomfort, physical discomfort, whatever.

Jon 35:00

And sometimes that's at the bottom of a bottle, unfortunately. Yeah. Yeah. Emotional pain's a real a real thing. Like even if you put on your stoic face and deal with it, like it still sucks. It's still whatever it is you're going through that's causing you whatever kind of turmoil. Like it still sucks.

Devin 35:24

You have emotional pain when when somebody does something to you, right? And you're like, I didn't deserve this. Well, you do, but well, but no, I mean, in certain cases, things happen in life. Life just beats you up sometimes.

Jon 35:38

Yeah, I'm just being pessimistic.

Devin 35:39

Right. But in but you don't deserve it, and then you just sit there and and wallow in it almost for a little bit. You have to work through that emotional pain and that emotional discomfort. And you will come out far more resilient on the other side. So much more resilient. Because if you're not willing to work through that hard stuff in your life when crap's gone, life has has put you in the fourth quarter and you're down, and they're on the one yard line fixing to put the game away. That's when you begin to rise from the ashes. That's when you begin to step up to have that stone wall of a defense, so to speak, that you step up and step out in that faith. You rise from that and work through that discomfort. That's how you grow. That's how you do hard crack.

Jon 36:26

And every God doesn't necessarily make things happen to you for you to grow. Yes, he does sometimes. Sometimes he'll use things that are happening to you for you to be able to grow.

Devin 36:39

That's good.

Jon 36:40

And you have to be, you have to work, like you just said, you have to work through those things. Don't ignore it. Don't try to pawn it off on somebody else. Yes, you need someone, you have to be vulnerable with the right people. Don't just go be vulnerable in public or to people that aren't close to you. Pick, pick your, your group of people that are close to you. Be vulnerable with them. And yes, they can help you carry whatever that burden is, but it's your burden for a reason for you to grow and be stronger on the other side of it.

Devin 37:18

I had a guy ask me a couple of weeks ago. He said, Why does God, why did God take me down this path? And my answer to him was very, very simple. I said, Because if he hadn't, you would have never gone down yourself. Right. And he goes, What do you mean by that? And I said, Well, you grew from that situation you just walked through in life, right? And he goes, Well, yeah. And I said, Okay, then you would have never grown from that situation if God hadn't taken you down that path. Do the hard stuff. Understand this. We said this earlier. If you're good enough to hit your goals, your goals are too small.

Jon 37:49

Yeah. I mean, you should have you familiar with the the term smart goals? Define. I had to say it out loud. Yeah, you did. So serves you right. I don't remember what all the it's an acronym. S M-A-R-T. Whatever. The A is achievable. I disagree with that. Yeah. To an extent. To an extent. Now, you can't be like, you know what? This year I'm gonna become an astronaut. All right. You're just being I could become an astronaut. Sure. Start with losing weight. I'm done with this podcast. Hey, dude, you should get you should get like a full body scan, and then we should see how much weight you can lose over six months. I'm done with you. No, that'd be a good idea. Keep going. We're all gonna hold you accountable. Keep going. How do you feel about that? I'm good with it. Alright. Keep going. You're gonna get a body scan? I hate you. The DEXA scan, is that what it's called? Go ahead. I'll do it with you. Wonderful. It's probably expensive. I don't know. Anyway, what are we talking about? If you're good at if you're if your goals are too small, then smart goals. Yeah. So achievable. I agree with that to an extent. Right? But it should be something that you know, I think I can do this, but it's gonna be hard.

Discomfort, Growth, And Resilience

Jon 39:10

So find whatever is achievable in whatever thing that you're making a goal in. Let's let's say let's say you, let's say you're gonna I'm sorry, I'm using you as an example again. Let's say you you have a goal to be able to run more. That's not that's not specif. Oh, that's what the S is specific, specific, measure, measurable, achievable something in timeline, whatever. Doesn't matter. Yes, the yes, you want to be able to run more. Okay, how much more you want to be able to run a 10k in however many minutes? That's really specific.

Devin 39:52

Yeah, you asked me to run a 10k with you, and I was like, you've lost your mind. Dude, it's on it's not that far. How many miles is it like six? 5k is like 3.2, I think. Yeah, 5k so and I've run plenty of 5ks.

Jon 40:05

Yeah, it's just two of them.

Devin 40:07

That's a one. Anyway, that's really not. We'll make that a goal. That's fine.

Jon 40:11

But but keep my my point is if say I want to be able to run a 10K, okay. Why don't why not make a goal to run a half marathon? Even if you can't run a half marathon, you're like, crap, I didn't reach my goal. However, I can run more than a 10K. You know what I mean?

Devin 40:27

Yeah.

Jon 40:28

So achievable to an extent.

Devin 40:31

It's like this year, I got my so in my profession, we we get business goals every year, and they tripled my business goal. Why is this table so short? For 2026. They tripled my business goal. And whenever I saw that number, I was like, Y'all have lost your minds. Go fall off a cliff. No way. If I hit this goal, it means I didn't see my family. If I hit this goal, and I began to immediately excuse every bit of it because why? It disrupts my routine if I hit this goal.

Jon 41:05

Oh, no more thing.

Devin 41:07

Right?

Jon 41:07

I have to get out of my routine.

Devin 41:09

But here's the thing: routines keep you as you are. You have to learn to disrupt your routines. Yeah, some things you should have a routine at. Sure. Your morning routine, fine. Your life routine, your daily routine is where at times needs to be disrupted. For me, mine got disrupted whenever I shortened my business hours in order for me to have an hour to go run, or in order for me to have an hour and a half to go to the gym, or whatever that looks like, right? My routine was disrupted.

Jon 41:42

If you wake up, drink coffee, eat breakfast, go to work, come home, watch TV, go to bed every single day. Guess where you got yourself 365 days from now? Absolutely nowhere, and you probably gained weight in the process. I'm really on that today, Arnight. I'm sorry. You should be.

Devin 42:03

But here's here's here's kind of, I guess, the whole point to doing the hard stuff in life is if you're avoiding what's difficult or uncomfortable, you're avoiding growth.

Jon 42:16

Yep.

Devin 42:17

I'll say it again. If you're avoiding what's difficult or uncomfortable, you're avoiding growth. I don't become somebody with power and influence and an impact on people's lives maintaining how I am.

Jon 42:39

Before we we I meant to mention this at the beginning, and we got hung up on power, and then we went to deserve and I forgot. The can we talk about impact for just a minute? Sure. Like we we did touch on it, but influence and impact. So and we don't mean influence on your let's say I don't know, subordinates, is that the right word? People that work for you, or influence on people that are quote unquote beneath you, people that you are leading in some way. We're talking about uh yes, people that you're leading, but it has to be it has to be leadership. And and I mean leadership and not just management, you know. It's because those are two very different things. But it can also be people, it it could be anybody, anybody that you're around, especially if you find yourself in a place on a given day and you're like, God, why the heck am I standing here right now? This makes no sense. This is this has nothing to do, but you're around the right people at that time to influence them in some way. Maybe they just need to hear about Jesus. And I'm getting a little off topic there, but uh don't complain. about the like exactly where you're at because you're there for a reason. But you can influence even even if you can influence at work, your boss. Just by being just just by what am I trying to say? Showing them Jesus through your actions. You think through how you live your life. The thing the little things that you do the way you respond to things how you say things and that doesn't mean like you can show love and not be that doesn't mean you have to be a little coward in the corner. You can show love and still be manly or whatever. You can be tough and still show love at the same time.

Devin 44:46

But like I asked a guy yesterday he said that you know whenever he gets mad or something like that with his wife he tells her to pack her stuff and leave or you know whatever and I yeah I mean it's a whole story but I won't go into it but it was like that like he talked he talked very down and demeaning at times towards his spouse but then wondered why he had absolutely no influence and impact in her life. Well that's why and I'm like are we really questioning this so the the point is with the influence and and impact in people's lives is you can have that regardless of where you are what you do for a living if you're married if you're single if you're a father you're not a father whatever what is going on with my voice today whatever whatever that looks like you can have that if it's something that you're intentional about doing and changing in your life so to kind of put a bow on this and real quick just to kind of point this out too like you said earlier you can chase power for the wrong reasons you can have influence in people's lives and it be negative

Influence Through Character And Love

Devin 46:00

it can be negative.

Jon 46:01

Sure absolutely so we want positive influence and we we want to make if you can do something in your day to make somebody else's life a little bit better like why would you not do that? Give away encouragement oh yes give it away it's free yeah it it costs nothing to be nice it is absolutely free.

Devin 46:26

Give it away man give it away and find out what kind of how that changes your reach your power your influence and the impact you have in life so to put a bow on this on this episode because I think it's been really really good to get what you want you've got to deserve it. Put feet to your faith put action behind what you say you want and need in your life speaking of life it gets better when you get better.

Jon 46:53

And if you want to get better you got to do hard things work through work through the pain. Pain avoidance is is a no go.

Devin 47:01

Now pain pain is the best motivator oh yeah like you it it's absolutely you told me something a couple of weeks ago and I and it's been subtly in my head constantly you said you've got to you've got to negotiate what was it negotiate your relationship with pain.

Jon 47:19

Thank you. Negotiate your relationship with pain like if you're about to do something let me let me give you an example before you go run you know it's gonna hurt. Yep. Do you want to do you want to start running and then while you're running figure out how to make it hurt less? Or do you want to decide ahead of time this is how I'm going to react to this when it starts to hurt.

Devin 47:40

Yep that's a little bit separate topic but but it applies but still is it still applies get what you want you got to deserve it. Life gets better when you do do the hard things and don't be afraid don't ever be afraid to reach out and reach up for help that there is a God of the universe that does love you more than you could ever imagine he's got bigger plans and bigger goals for you in your life and he's ready and willing to call that out of you but what we have to make sure that we're doing is are we in position are we positioning ourselves to change areas of our lives in order to make heaven a more crowded place.

Jon 48:27

Right and God does want to he wants to change you like so yes in order to get to heaven we have to be saved but at the same time Jesus wants a relationship with us and he wants us to change from who we were like if you spent I don't know 30 years of your life living the wrong way we'll just say living the wrong way not following Jesus. No it's not too late. But Jesus wants to have a relationship with you and he wants to change you and you cannot be changed. It will not happen without some kind of discomfort yeah I mean yes you're gonna have that moment that people have where Jesus is inner life and you know so on and so forth. But the habits that you've created over I don't know ballpark 30 years, whatever your case may be those you have to work to change you have to let Jesus change you.

Devin 49:34

And ultimately when you do it's such a beautiful thing. I had this sent to me right before we recorded this podcast he said just remember if it's meant to be it'll be sometimes our hopes and God's plans don't allow them but when they do it's such a beautiful thing. Oh yeah it is so puts a smile on your face. It does you want to pray it's out yeah let's pray Father we love you. God thank you so much for this platform. God thank you for this calling that you placed on Mod and John's lives to help call out being uncommon to live in a world as a man and as a leader and as a follower in an uncommon way. God I pray for every man listening to this under the sound of my voice God that you would begin right now, right where they sit to do those hard things to better their lives so that ultimately we can achieve the plans and the goals that you have set before us in our lives. Give us strength and courage in everything we say and we do may we bring you honor and glory in Jesus' name.

Jon 50:40

Amen for listening remember to like share and subscribe if you know someone who would enjoy this please pass it along you can follow us on Instagram at uncommon dot man or reach out at the uncommonman dot podcast at gmail dot com. Keep pursuing excellence and above all pursuing excellence