16. The Power of LIFE and DEATH

You can speak life or death. That is not an exaggeration, the Bible is clear on it. Jon and Devin break down how to stop speaking negatively over yourself and others, how to give correction without crushing people, and what it looks like to be intentional with every word.

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Transcript

Easter Weekend And Community Wins

Jon 0:10

Welcome to the Uncommon Man podcast. We are your host. I'm John. I'm Devin. And we are happy to be here. How are you doing, man?

Devin 0:18

I'm doing good, man. We're uh we're coming off the cusp as we record this of Easter weekend. And uh it's kind of like the Christianity Super Bowl, if you will. The church super bowl. Uh the church super bowl.

Jon 0:33

Yeah.

Devin 0:33

Um, but we had a lot, we had a busy weekend, didn't we? Um we did uh our church did a uh egg drop where they fled Helicopter egg drop. Yeah.

Jon 0:44

Because there was one church at least that did a crane. They did a crane? How did that work? They just dropped them from a crane.

Devin 0:53

There's no way that uh I mean, did they have watched it happen? They did it. Did did it work? Like was it successful? Yeah. Dang, I've never heard of that. I've never heard of a crane. I haven't either, but we had uh spinning fan blades in a helicopter, and I felt like that's cooler. Um but anyways, yeah, so 15,000 people showed up to Veterans Park in Alabaster, Alabama.

Jon 1:20

Um did we get like an actual number, or are we just rounding to 15?

Devin 1:26

They used an A, they they put it from what I understand, there was it was like an AI drone that like either cultivate or the police or someone used. It's probably the police drone to count that was the only one there.

Jon 1:41

You didn't have your drone, you didn't have a drone out. No, there's a helicopter flying around. No, I didn't have a drone out. Oh, come on.

Devin 1:49

No, anyway, so then uh the very next day, oh it oh, and by the way, at this egg drop, we gave away five thousand hot dogs. Two of them are to me. Um, yep, two were to me. Um and then I took about three or four home so that we had dinner that night. Yeah, there was maybe 40 or 45 hot dogs left over. I I'll put it to you this way, though.

Jon 2:14

That's not that's a lot of hot dogs, but when you cooked 5,000, like that's not that much.

Devin 2:17

I'll tell you this one. I don't want to look at a hot dog for a very long time. So, and I'm somebody who loves hot dogs, but that you know, I digress anyway. So then Easter Sunday, uh from what I gathered, the final count was just over like 1700. We're right at 1700 between five experiences. That was awesome to see. Man, we were pulling in office chairs for people to have a pretty that was pretty yeah.

Jon 2:46

I I looked, I looked in the lobby. I was in the lobby and I looked over and I saw chairs from my office, and I was like John just looks over and he goes, why's my office chair out? No, I saw somebody sitting in it, and I was like, all right, cool. Like, I mean we didn't know how to tell you, but you were replaced. That's that's how you find out.

Devin 3:07

Yeah, exactly. No, so the um, but to see that, and I remember going actually to a friend of mine uh during the middle of one of the uh experiences that we had, and and I just told him, I said, this is kind of how I picture heaven. And he goes, What do you mean? And I said, just listen. And it was just the worship going on in the background, and it was beautiful to to just hear thousands of people singing in unison and harmony um to to the Lord and and and then worship. And to me, that's just a cool thing. But then, you know, I my wife and I had this discussion later on. What if we treated every Sunday like that? Like there were a lot of people who we we call them in the Christian world, we'll we call them CEOs. Um they're Christmas and Easters only. And and I just wonder like what could what could our lives look like if what could our country look like, our families, if we treated every Sunday like that, you know? So um, but it was a great weekend, a lot of fun to be a part of, uh, very busy for uh you know, for the advancement and the growth of the kingdom. And to me, that's ultimately what it's all about. So we are here uh tonight with our cultivate church coffee mugs.

Jon 4:23

Yeah, we both we both have one. And that's honestly because I'm using this little travel one because I didn't feel like washing two cups because all my coffee cups are. It is. It is. Ooh, you know what? This coffee mug, Trevor, this coffee mug is the reason you and I had a conversation to begin with in Japan on a ship floating around in the ocean. You mean a tube? No, it was a ship. It was a ship, you weren't on a sub? No, I was out of the navy. Oh, okay. Yeah, ship ship. But yeah, this is what he saw.

Devin 4:56

I want you to put a bigger emphasis on the P and ship. What did I say? That you said ship ship, but I'm just saying it didn't come off that way after that.

Jon 5:05

I'm saying ship for the record. Thank you. Anyway, I was sitting there like watching a movie or something on my iPad, and he uh saw that saw this cup. That's cool. He was like, hey, what's that?

Devin 5:17

Shout out Trevor, man. Yep. And then um somebody messaged us this week and said that they they might be working on a coffee sponsorship deal for the show. Yeah, it's not happening. It's not no sad.

Jon 5:31

I emailed him. Sad. We have nothing to offer. So, hey, tell your friends about this podcast so we can get a free bag of coffee, please. That uh no, let me retract that. Not so we can get a free bag of coffee, but hey, just don't listen.

Devin 5:47

Just don't listen to John. Okay. Anyways, as we go. Go tell your friends about the podcast, though. Tell your friends about the podcast. There you go. Um force them to listen to it. That's right. So um a great Easter weekend,

Why Speech Shapes Everything

Devin 6:00

but we're back. We're here, uh episode number 16. Talking about that was a question. Yeah, yeah, it's 16. Yeah, episode 16.

Jon 6:11

How we talk to others and to ourselves. So we've said before what you do matters, how you speak to people matters, everything matters. Today it's specifically on how you speak.

Devin 6:28

Did you know this? 25% of adults talk to themselves out loud.

Jon 6:35

Is that weird to you? No, I'm calling bullcrap on that. Why do you call bull crap on that? It's far more than that.

Devin 6:42

Like, I mean out loud. Like they have full-on out loud dialogue conversations with themselves, out loud for other people to be like for other people to hear. Yeah. You call bull crap on that. Yeah, it's more than 25. Well, I mean, you gotta go to the next statistic here. It says 96% of adults engage in an internal silent dialogue, vocalizing their vocalizing their thoughts, like internally.

Jon 7:12

And the other 4% are psychopaths.

Devin 7:15

I I don't know. Probably. That's a good good way of putting it. Like, like, for example, if you if you're out in public and you hear somebody talking to themselves.

Jon 7:28

Yeah, okay. If you talk out loud to yourself around other people more than occasionally, then you know, that's that's weird, but I talk out loud to myself all the time, but nobody's around to hear me. Otherwise, I'm talking sort of at the person that's there. If I'm just yeah talking out loud.

Devin 7:53

I also think more men probably do this in the hardware store or like a Lowe's or a Home Depot or something like that than they do anywhere else because they're right, because they're thinking about a project, and they're like, Okay, if I've got to do it.

Jon 8:06

So while you're working on the project, under your car, under your house, on your house. Yeah, whatever.

Devin 8:12

Do you ever do you ever like work on something and you talk to that inanimate object? Yeah.

Jon 8:17

You're like, get in there. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's more like, what do you no voltage? What do you mean you have no voltage? What are you talking about? That's you're supposed to have you're supposed to be 12 volts right now. Why are you not?

Devin 8:31

Yeah, it's more like that. I uh I I I also say this because you don't, but I do. I play golf. And I will say this golfers talk to themselves out loud. Yeah. Quite a bit.

Jon 8:43

For the record, I don't play golf because I know how dangerous it would be for me. What do you mean? I would spend way too much time and effort and money that I shouldn't be spending on it because I know I would love it. That's it. I'm taking you golfing with me. I've been once, but I'm taking you golfing. I won't take it up. Like as a hobby. I can't. You're missing out, man. I don't know how to do anything less than 110%, and I would want to do it 110%, and I don't have time or money for that.

Devin 9:11

Um, you know what? We'll see. Golfers of the world unite to help me get John Pierce into golfing.

Jon 9:17

In Jesus' name.

Proverbs On Words That Heal

Jon 9:19

Anyways, so we would be remiss if we didn't start this off with Proverbs 1218, one of the um it's the first verse that came to mind, one of my favorite verses in general. The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

Devin 9:37

And really what I think this verse is really getting at is what you say to other people matters. Right. It's how how you speak to them. Do you speak negatively about them or about a situation? Especially if, like for me, I've always kind of viewed it this way, is if I'm having a conversation with somebody and they're using like an obscene amount of profanity, what that tells me is you lack vocabulary. You see what I'm saying?

Jon 10:14

Like or they just choose not to use it. Or I don't know.

Devin 10:19

I don't, but I absolutely view it as a lack of vocabulary.

Jon 10:24

No, it is.

Devin 10:31

Well, and a lot of it is habit.

Jon 10:34

Yeah. Right. So um also not to be confused with Proverbs 12, 18, but 18-21, rearrange the numbers there a little bit. The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. Exactly.

Devin 10:51

What you say to other people does matter. I think that if you're going to if you're going to especially speak to somebody that you don't know, when you bring forth encouragement out of that, or you speak positivity, you're viewed in a different light. Think about it this way. In today's day and age, it is so easy to impress people. So easy. I I mean, a couple of weeks ago, I'm walking.

Jon 11:18

You mean like a first impression?

Devin 11:19

Yeah. Okay. And and then she turns around and I'm like, so I'm walking into the store and I see this woman coming up from behind me, uh, through the mirror on the door, and I held the door. Like I open the door, hold the door open for her. She gets, she says, Thank you, gets inside and says, You don't know how rare that is now. Like, I don't know where that's what she said to me. And I was like, What what what are you talking about? And she goes, You're holding the door for a woman. I said, Honestly, I think it's like that's how I was raised.

Jon 11:52

Yeah, I do it all the time. I will say today I was walking out of the I don't know, some store, I was with someone else, and I looked and there was somebody, there was a lady like crossing the parking lot, and uh, it was like that weird place where you're like, Do I stand here and wait? Because it was gonna be a solid 50 seconds to a minute. And I was like, Shh, no, I don't think we do.

Devin 12:16

I know I so I I saw this put uh the other day on a um uh some reel, I think somewhere, but it basically said if you're that person that holds the door for longer than 10 seconds to get the person that's walking towards the door to speed up, you're a jerk.

Jon 12:35

Yeah, isn't it at a certain point, depending on the other person, like they do feel like they have to walk faster or something because oh you immediately make them feel like they have to faster. It's like when you're crossing the parking lot and somebody stops for you and you do like a little half jog sort of thing to make it look like you're walking faster, but you're really not, you're just putting forth a little bit more effort. Yeah, it's kind of the same thing. Yeah, exactly. My bad. I mean it's gonna get us off topic there. Well, no, no, no, that's fine. I usually am the one doing that, so it's nice to know that it's that it's your turn. I'm just agreeing with you. But it is um it it is rare. She's right.

Devin 13:15

Well, and and but that that's where it gets like my point here is it's it's not that hard to impress other people.

Jon 13:23

You know, when when I think back to specifically with first impressions, I think in some ways it's harder to impress other people because of what they see on the internet and they think is reality that's not.

Devin 13:34

This is true. Now, the internet does tell a bunch of lies. I know, shocker, spoiler. First impression with something like that in person, 100%, yes. Yeah, exactly. Uh, you know, or or if you're doing the whole, you know, pay for the car behind you thing in the drive-thru or whatever like that. Uh that's those are things that are so rare. And I know we're talking about actions, but I I think the same can be said for how you talk to other people. That has to matter to some degree, whether you know the person or not. If you know the person, it's all the more reason to speak positivity in life into that person or into the situation because everybody is wired to be so negative. So if you want to be different, you want to be uncommon, speak positivity about it. Yeah, you know, and and how I I think think about it this way. If I ask you, John, how was your day? And every single day, five out of five days of the workday or of the work week, you go, Oh ma'am, today sucked. You know what? I'm gonna eventually quit asking. I have my answer. Because ultimately, nobody wants to be around somebody who consistently complains. Crap goes wrong in life. I don't know if you're if you're aware of this, but we live in a fallen society.

Jon 15:06

We live in a fallen world. Yeah, that being said, you don't have to lie about it and say, it was great. You can say you can you can talk about I don't know, crap.

Devin 15:17

But that's where we've had that discussion complaining. Right. We we've had that discussion in the past, though, about having your people, having your your your group of guys, your your group of girls, whoever, that you can go to, that you can talk to. I'm just saying women listen to this podcast too. I'm just saying. All right, but shout out to all three of you. We love you. But I mean, having your people to that you can go to, like if you ask me, I'm gonna go, yeah, here's what was good, here's what was not good, because I can be more open and honest with you about it. If Joe Schmoe, that I just held the door for, asked me, Am I having a good date? Yeah, man, I'm doing good, thanks. Right? Because I don't know you.

Jon 15:59

In general. I'm not alive, so you're doing pretty good.

Devin 16:03

That's right, man. I woke up today with breath in my lungs. I only got four hours of sleep last night, but dang it, I'm here.

Jon 16:07

Oh no, here's a hot take. Uh huh. If we were dead. What? Like you went to heaven? Like, is that not preferable? Like literally being in heaven.

Devin 16:19

Yeah, but uh okay, I get where you're going with that, but that like you just drove this train straight off the tracks.

Jon 16:26

No, I'm just saying, like, I mean is yes, and it yes, being alive is preferable, but like technically speaking, wouldn't it be better if we were in heaven? Okay, sure. Would I rather life? Is it called life? I don't know.

Devin 16:40

You know what I mean. Okay, but then like you're foregoing raising the rest of you know your children and their lives standpoint from a very 100%, sure. No, listen, I would say I can't believe you even went down that road. God bless America. Drink your coffee still alive.

Jon 16:59

You just gotta sit there if you weren't alive and you went to heaven, still great. So I don't think it's a very good comeback. That's all I'm saying.

Devin 17:07

You just gotta sit there and drink your coffee. I got this episode. Okay. Moving on. Moving forward before you drive this even further into the oblivion.

Complaining Negativity And Gratitude

Devin 17:20

Um, the note I put here, speaking negatively, especially when someone's being vulgar, says more about who they are than who you are. We have to be careful about the we've said this before about being careful about the people that we listen to, that we choose to listen to. But in the same sense, understanding that the more you speak negatively towards other people is more of an indication in in this case, therefore, about you. Yeah. And I think there's just some people who are just constantly negative people. And and that's what's wrong. That that's a problem.

Jon 17:58

Yeah, some people are just straight up negative Nancy's all the time.

Devin 18:02

There's some people that I legit could go up to them with a million dollars in cash and they're gonna find something to cry to cry complain about, cry about. Yeah.

Jon 18:12

Everybody, somebody, some people just complain about everything. And that's not who we want to be. We don't want to additionally, not even with just complaining. If you are just talking negatively in any way towards someone, especially if it's like if it's somebody that has I don't know, somebody's dealing with something and they're somebody's dealing with something and they're just talking to you about it. Don't be negative Nancy with them. Like some positivity, try to pick them up a little bit. Yeah. Like, don't just tell 'em, like, hey, get over it. Life sucks. Sometimes that is what you're saying. Sometimes, I mean, it depends. Sometimes life sucks, and you do need to get over it, but that's I'm not gonna sit here and talk negatively towards you. I'm not gonna sit here and bash everything, like politics. I'm not gonna sit here and I mean, I'm not gonna talk about politics with anyone ever anyway, but I'm also not gonna sit here and bash the president or anybody, the mayor. Like, I'm just not gonna do that. It's not helpful. It's just not.

Devin 19:25

Like, I remember uh it was not too long ago that I was telling you, oh, we were having a texting conversation earlier, you and I were, and I'm gonna kind of piggyback off this because this is literally you. Um I don't even know what you're talking about, so this is interesting. You sent me a text today? Yeah, this was today. Oh, because yesterday was kind of a a little bit of a rough day, and you knew that. Um and so John sends me this text, and this is literally, I'm going to give you over the span of a 10-minute texting conversation, folks. At 10 108, I get a text message from John, which your image is you fighting the bear. Um, so it shows up whenever you call, which by the way, you called yesterday when I was on a Zoom meeting with a client, and I was actually sharing my screen. And so out pops this picture of Job Pierce wrestling a bear, and my client turns around. She goes, Is that person fighting a bear? And I said, It's a very long story, don't worry about it. Anyway, so it slides away. So at 108, John sends me this text after knowing that I had a bad day yesterday. He's hey, you good? I said, I guess my three-month-old woke me up at 4 30 this morning, and I haven't gone back to sleep since, so I'm exhausted. It's been a long week, but I'm gonna get through it. John Pierce's response in all of its infinite and glorious wisdom. That sucks. Nothing else. That's it. Period blank end of story. That sucks. I honest to God feel like I could come to you and be like, John, my world is over, man. My my my wife left me and and my kids are gone, and I lost my job, and I lost my house, and I lost everything, man. John Pierce is that sucks, man. You wanna go record? I feel like that would be you. Let's go talk about it. Let's go, yeah. Anyways, but but I that's that is the way that you are though. But if if you every time you asked me and all I did was complain, I think there's something to be said about that. If all you do is complain and you're not sitting there going, you know what? Thank God I had this today. And if you're having one of those days, find one thing at the end of the day that you're thankful for about that day. Doesn't matter how bad of a day that was, find one thing that you're thankful for. For. Yeah. Last yesterday, as you know, horrible day, right? Very frustrating. Very bad day on a lot, very emotional day on a lot of heavy fronts for me. But whenever I hugged my little girl and she looked me dead in the face, she grabbed, she put a hand on each cheek and she said, I love you, Daddy. Oh. And then went to sleep. Done. And I said, That's what I'm thankful for, Lord. I'm thankful that I have a daughter that's telling me she loves me. You know what I'm saying? Perspective matters. How you talk to other people matters.

Jon 22:33

Yeah. There's another um specific thing here that I was just thinking about.

Feedback That Builds People Up

Jon 22:38

A lot of us are in positions where we have to give feedback to people in some way. And I have experienced this from the perspective of the person giving the speed the feedback. I've experienced it far more from the perspective of the person getting the feedback for the good and the bad. I've gotten both ends of it. If you are giving feedback to someone and all you tell them is all of the things they're doing wrong, if you're being very negative, if the whole conversation is just negative, it's probably they're not it's not gonna go back.

Devin 23:10

I'm not coming back to you.

Jon 23:13

Like if like if I'm asking for your help with something and all you're doing is telling me where I suck. Right. I mean it could be that they don't have a choice because you're their boss, but um No, that's a crappy boss then. Well yeah. I'm just saying it's I'm just saying don't do that. Like I I've experienced both ends of it. Yeah. And it's to the point now where I can tell if I'm about to get feedback, like there's certain certain people in different areas of my life that do the same thing, and they tell me something, typically, it starts with how good I do one thing, and I'm like, oh crap, what I screw up. Yeah. But but whatever that is they have to tell me is far better received. Yeah. You also just have to be willing to receive c criticism anyway, but that's another topic. But you can't go into things like that just being all you suck. I mean, maybe they do suck, so I don't tell them that then those words.

Devin 24:17

Yeah, I'll call it the rubber hammer technique. I call it sandwich, but go ahead. Okay, so if if if we have a nail, okay, and I've got to drive this nail into this board. Okay, if I have a rubber hammer and a metal hammer, okay, let's say I grab the metal hammer first. That metal hammer strikes that nail, you hear it, you see it, you feel it, especially if you if you hit your hand, right? It it does what it was designed to do. The hammer drives the nail into the board. But if you grab a rubber hammer, softens the blow a little bit. The job still gets done. The message was still received. Kind of rubber hammer are you using?

Jon 25:04

I would must be some really soft wood and a really hard rubber.

Devin 25:08

Yeah, and actually it was a really hard rubber. But anyways, I like what I'm getting at. I get it. Is that the job still gets done and it's it's how you deliver that message. If all you're doing, and and and this is when you're leading people, when you're leading your children, whatever this looks like for you, apply it however you will. But if all you're doing is tell them where they screwed up at, and here's where you suck at, there's a problem. Like I can remember being a kid, and um my dad listens to this podcast, so he's probably not gonna remember this, but um, I remember there was a baseball game when uh because I I grew up playing all sorts of sports, probably why I love sports as an adult. Um, but I played this baseball game, and I think I batted like five or six times this game, right? And I went like five or six this game, and I had it was just a great game, right? I mean, I'm not exactly the most athletic guy in the world, um, but I I had a great game that particular day, and I'll never forget getting home. And there was one error that I made in the field playing, I think, outfield, and then there was um there was one strikeout where I chased, I chased the ball. And we got home, and I remember I'm telling, or we're on the way home, and I remember I'm telling my dad, uh, I did this, this, this, and this. And as soon as I got home from that game, my dad told me to grab my glove and go to the backyard. And he pitched to me. And if I um I think it was if I chased it, I had to do something else. And from there on, I never chased another ball all season. But I remember thinking then, holy crap, man, I went five for six. I scored people, I scored, I threw people out, I had a great game, and all you can talk about is the error I made and the fact that I struck out once. But it yes, it made me a little bit more disciplined and and I understood what my dad was trying to do. But if all you're doing when you're trying to correct someone or to help someone or to teach them or whatever, is tell them where they're wrong at, you are not going to be effective. Are you the question you have to ask yourself is this are you speaking life into people?

Jon 27:39

Yeah, speak life into people, yeah, speak words of encouragement. You don't uh I know sitting around a bunch of dudes sitting around watching the game.

Devin 27:50

Oh, we're gonna clown on each other all day long.

Jon 27:52

Yeah, there's nothing necessarily wrong with that, but it gets to a point where you're just like you can pick on each other. By natural. That's a normal thing. But like, and even zeroing in on somebody's I don't know, black eye or something that they got playing golf. I don't know. Can you get a black eye playing golf? Probably. Uh the answer would um uh I mean, yeah, if you if if another golfer sucker punished you. Zeroing everybody zeroing in on that guy, his black eye, something like that's even normal to some extent, but it gets to a point. You have to use some discretion there. Yep. Like you're not we're not gonna beat the person down. Yep. Now, is someone gonna get beat down because they're black? I mean, maybe, maybe, right? Probably not, but I don't know, man.

Devin 28:43

There was an episode that you and I did, and you beat me up the whole freaking episode.

Jon 28:47

So I'm sorry, that'll be the only time I have to how we how we talk to people is incredibly important. That's right. And also how we talk to ourselves is important.

Devin 29:02

Um Well, can't can we can I back up on something? Oh yeah, sorry. Before you keep going. The the last question I had here is you had that we need to ask ourselves is are we speaking life into people or are we contributing to the problem? Because most people, when you try and point out flaws about them, most people are genuinely aware of them. So are you speaking life into them or are you contributing to the problem? I think that that's that's the deciding question. If you're not offering any kind of encouragement or help for that person, you're contributing to the problem. Sorry. We can go ahead. Yes. Well

Self Talk Confidence And Change

Devin 29:42

how you how you talk about other people matters, but then as you just said, John.

Jon 29:46

How you talk about yourself. Bingo. So you might have something I think this applies more to women, but I think most men probably don't look in the mirror every morning and say, I hate my nose, or I hate whatever. But it uh uh negative self-talk is just as bad.

Devin 30:10

You have to speak positivity into yourself.

Jon 30:12

If your tongue has the power for life and death, life and not just for other people.

Devin 30:17

Don't don't yeah, let's slowly. It has the power to speak life and what? Death. It has the power to speak death. Meaning if you speak death over yourself, why should anybody take you seriously in life if all you do is talk crap about how bad you are?

Jon 30:38

Well, they won't anyway, because if you're doing things like that, you'll have zero confidence.

Devin 30:42

Exactly. So but confidence is contagious. Confidence is absolutely contagious, and you see that especially when you watch sports. Confidence is contagious, especially in uh like my favorite sport being football. If one of the one person on that team is down on the offense or the defense, it typically bleeds through the rest of the team. If one person is having a great game, a lot of other people are willing to step up to the plate to then have that great game because confidence is contagious. You're right. Women look more so in the mirror and go, Well, I don't have a flat stomach or I don't have whatever, more so than men do, but I do think that there are men out there who wish that there were certain things about themselves. Maybe it's uh maybe it is about their physique, maybe it's about uh how they uh how they respond to situations, maybe it's uh whatever, whatever you want to call it. Nine times out of ten, you can do something about it. Exactly. And that was actually you skipped all the way to the end there. That was the last note was I said you can do something about it. Oh my bad. Um so uh to but ask yourself this. Uh the because then there's this the the other side of the equation. There are things you're born with that sometimes you can do stuff about, sometimes you can't. Yeah, that's true. And then there's things that you're not born with, but that have happened as a result of decisions you've made in your life. And that I think is the stuff that you have the option to be able to do something about. Right. I didn't like how how I how I looked. Okay. But rather than just going, well, God just made me with a little bit of a spare tire. No, I I got up. No, he didn't. No, he didn't. I I got up, I got up and I can't and I started running and I started doing things that honestly, since I have, I feel better. Didn't you say you lost like eight? Eight pounds? Yeah. Nice. Congratulations, buddy.

Jon 32:47

Thanks, bro. Proud of you.

Devin 32:48

Um, but the biggest thing that uh there were two things that were different about this is one, um I I told nobody outside of my wife and you, I I I told nobody. Like my brother came to me and he goes, Are you working out again? And I said, Why do you ask? And he goes, I don't know. Yes, you look a little bit better. And I went, Thanks. I styled my hair today, bro. Um, and he goes, No, no, like I mean, you look good. And um I said, Yeah, thanks. I woke up like this. No, I'm just kidding. But uh so I I and I told him, I said, Yeah, I know I've started running again and trying to do some exercising, and I use my uh 35-pound uh three-year-old to do push-ups with, and she loves it and she thinks it's awesome. Um, and then on the tenth one of or every 10, I throw her and she lands on the bed and it's fun. That's how we that's how we yeah, so um but I that was just one of the things that I wanted to change about me. So no, God did God did not make me that way.

Jon 34:00

I made myself that way because of poor decisions. So you had two choices though. You could complain about it, like we talked a minute ago. You could complain about it and this, that, and the other, talk negatively, sit on the couch and eat Doritos, or you could get off the couch, put shoes on, and do something about it. You had a different perspective. You chose to be to have a more positive outlook on it instead of being negative about it. There's something you don't like. I'm I'm sorry, are you doing something to change it? If you're not, like, shut up. Like for real. Twitch crying. Yeah, stop crying. Is there if there's nothing you can do about it? All right, I don't know, go see a therapist. I don't know what to tell you.

Devin 34:42

That's yeah, no, like I said, John's not the guy that you want to go to. I literally detailed out while I was having a bad day, and John's like, that sucks. What are we recording tonight? Anyway, so um, but oh, and side notes, uh, have you ever had Doritos and dip? What kind of dip? Like, I don't know, like French onion dip orch.

Jon 35:08

What you gotta do is you gotta get the I don't know, the jarred queso stuff. It's not that great. But when you put it in the microwave mixed with salsa for like 30 seconds, throw that over a thick of burritos.

Devin 35:21

Oh my god.

Jon 35:22

If you add some jalapenos, you dip it, yeah. You can add jalapenos, just get the spicy salsa or whatever. It's like it's like really white trash, basically. Rotel is what it is without the sausage, but it's pretty good.

Devin 35:35

Call me fat. Don't care. It's delicious.

Jon 35:38

All right, anyways, so I don't know why that how we why did we why are we talking about Doritos? All right, I'll say Cheetos next time.

Devin 35:45

Yeah, Cheetos are gross, anyways. So um what? I I'm not I'm not a big Cheeto lover. All right, anyway. Anyways, so choose positivity, yeah, choose positivity, but also in in speaking about yourself.

Comparison Lies And Measuring Yourself

Devin 35:59

Ask yourself a couple of different things. Am I comparing myself to somebody? Comparison, as we all know, is the thief of joy. I also believe comparison is one of the enemy's greatest tools. He loves to use this, he loves to use it also a lot at women more physically, but with men, he uses it as with men, it's more like your wallet or your status.

Jon 36:25

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your status. Like I had a I had a friend of mine, uh fleet of cool old cars or something.

Devin 36:33

Yeah, exactly. Like I had a friend of mine one time that he he flat out told me, he goes, If you want me to be honest, I want what you have. I said, What are you talking about? He goes, Well, you got the house, you got the wife, you got the beautiful little girl, you got the nice, you got the nice car, and I was like, I drive a freaking cheap jerky, bro. What are you talking about? And he goes, I want that. And he I noticed that the very next girl he dated was like had a similar personality to my wife. And I was like, Whoa, we need to have a conversation about this, homie. And he was trying to find wife material, yeah. Because I and look, I agree, my wife is wife material, that gummit. She's beautiful, she is smart, way smarter than me. But I mean, he that's what he was looking for, and he was trying to model that after what he had seen. Comparison, and when you try to compare yourself to other people, you lose every single time.

Jon 37:30

Well, at the same time, and it's not on clip.

Devin 37:38

Yeah, I think he dated uh two other women and then fine, he just got married recently. Nice. Um, so and to a very, a very good girl who treats him right, and um, yeah, that I mean it it's truly a happily ever afterthink. So he's working on putting the family together. Essentially, that's awesome. Yeah, I um they just got married a year ago.

Jon 37:59

See what I did there? See what I did there? You're saying this guy should have done this, and I was like, Positivity. I just drilled it right in there.

Devin 38:07

Are you proud of yourself?

Jon 38:08

I am okay.

Devin 38:10

All right, well, thank you for bringing the um the car back on to the road after you drove it off the cliff earlier. So um Y'all should see the look John's giving me right now.

Jon 38:25

I mean, you're the one that brought up Doritos.

Devin 38:28

Anyways, yes, that is true. All right, fine, one to one, fine. Um, but stop with a comparison. Also ask yourself this is this something somebody told you about you that you're overthinking? That's a dangerous game, too. Is it maybe a lie that the enemies told you about yourself that you've believed? If you, for example, um uh you know, to say I'm an okay dad, or I'm not a good dad, I want to be a better dad, or whatever, that's great. But if you're not willing to do those things and how you choose to speak about yourself absolutely matters in that case. I tell people all the time, I'm not good very good at many things in this world, but there's three things I'm really good at. I'm good at being a husband, I'm good at being a father, and I'm good at being a friend. That's pretty much the extent of it. Okay. Uh but those are three things that I'm really good at. And those are three things that I tell myself. Do I make mistakes? 100%. As a father, as a husband, heck yeah, I do. Absolutely. I made a very big mistake. Uh, I think it was two or three nights ago, towards my wife, when a box of rice fell on her head, and then she got upset and like kicked the dog ball behind her, and I told her to quit throwing a fit and tell me if she was okay. Yeah, I don't recommend that. That was a bad idea. That was a fail as a husband. All right, guilty as charged. Okay. But I still know, based on how I talk to her, how I talk towards her, that I'm a good husband. How I how my actions follow that up. Same thing as being a father, same thing as being a friend. Ask yourself to what is your measuring stick? What are you measuring yourself by and what are you comparing yourself to?

Jon 40:33

And I'll

Intentional Words Modeled By Jesus

Jon 40:34

say this to kind of uh solidify while we're talking about this a little bit. I heard this somewhere last week, and Devin reminded me that it was actually a part of the message at church on Sunday. Every single word that came out of the mouth of Jesus was extremely intentional. He did not say things just for the sake of hearing his teeth it together. Right? He said he said things he meant what he said, and he said it with everything, with intentionality. We should model how we live our lives after Jesus, right? Yeah. That's one of the things he did.

Devin 41:22

Yeah. He was very, very intentional.

Jon 41:24

We need to be intentional with our words.

Devin 41:26

Do you remember the last word he said on the cross? Do you remember what that was? Brandon, uh, our our senior pastor said it Sunday. What was it? Totelesti. To telestim literally means it's finished. It has different meanings, but yeah. Yeah, but I mean I mean everything he said was calculated. And I'm not and look, you're not Jesus. So everything I'm not, you're not, nobody is besides Jesus himself. But if we are more tactical and careful about the things we say towards other people and about ourselves, and calculate it and ask yourself, is this going to bring life or death to somebody?

Jon 42:12

Yeah, and part of doing that might be to expand your vocabulary.

Devin 42:17

Yeah.

Jon 42:18

So maybe go read a book.

Devin 42:20

Yeah, that's right. Um I've got a couple I'm reading through right now. I I think you also have to ask yourself this what decisions have you made that have led you to a place that you begin to question? Things about yourself, things about uh how you talk, how you speak. Because I think until you know the origin of a problem, you can't truly begin to solve it. Yeah. You know? Now there are things that are beyond our control, right? It's not always in our control if somebody gets cancer. Somebody gets in a bad car wreck that paralyzes them for the rest of their life. There are there are things that are beyond our control, and and we're not simply saying that you can't have that moment to to feel bad for yourself, to throw a pity party for one or whatever, but it needs to be just that a moment. It cannot be something that that that sticks.

Jon 43:17

Yeah, you gotta you gotta find a way to get around it compartmentalized if you have to deal with it.

Devin 43:23

But be tactical, be be um calculated about the things that you said, just as Jesus did. And look, Jesus felt all of the all of the same emotions that you feel. I've said it before on this podcast, and I'll probably say it again. There's nothing on this earth that you're ever going to go through that Jesus Himself never experienced or felt. No emotion. He felt it. He knows that. So why not go to the source? And ultimately, as John said earlier, you You can do something about it. Generally. Generally, you can. Talking about yourself matters. Talking to talk how you talk to yourself and how you talk to other people matters. Uh, it does every word you say, you have the chance to bring honor and glory to your father, to the God of the universe. And that's the God of the universe that loved you enough uh to send a son to die for you. Can you pray us up? Yeah. Any final notes before we get out of here? Nope. Awesome. I'm gonna

Prayer And Closing Actions

Devin 44:28

pray for you guys. Father, we love you. Lord, thank you so much for this platform. Uh, John and I pray every single week, God, that you hide us behind the cross ultimately, Lord, that people see you, uh, that they know you in a more intimate and deeper way, uh, to know that you are the God of the universe and that the God of the universe loves them beyond what they could ever ask or begin to imagine. And so, God, I pray for every person under the sound of my voice listening to this. God, that you would allow them and enable them and encourage them to speak positively to other people, to speak positively about themselves. Because ultimately, Lord, it is our responsibility to make heaven a more crowded place and to bring you honor and glory. We pray all this in Jesus' name. Amen.

Jon 45:16

Thanks for listening. Remember to like, share, and subscribe. If you know someone who would enjoy this, please pass it along. You can follow us on Instagram at uncommon.man or reach out at theuncommonman.podcast at gmail.com. Keep pursuing excellence and above all, pursue Christ.