Success, It's Not What You Think: Family & Purpose with Patty Riva

View Podcast Disclosures here: http://bit.ly/4jWGPF4

What does success really look like—over time?

In this episode of Women & the Businesses They Own, I sit down with Patty Riva, owner of Riva Marketing and Events, to talk about a life built not just on career success, but on faith, family, and intention.

With over 25 years of experience in marketing, communications, and helping organizations grow, Patty shares how her journey has evolved—and how her definition of success has changed along the way.

This conversation is especially meaningful for women in the early stages of their careers, navigating the balance between ambition, family, and what truly matters most.

*In this episode, we discuss:

•  What drew Patty into marketing and communications 
•  The power of storytelling in business and life 
•  How faith shapes decision-making and relationships 
•  Lessons from over 40 years of marriage 
•  How success evolves through different seasons of life 

*Here’s what we are meant to take with us today:
Success isn’t just what we build—it’s what we nurture. The relationships we invest in, the faith we lean on, and the love we give are what truly define a life well lived.

This podcast is presented by Summit Wealth Partners, LLC, a registered investment adviser that only conducts business in jurisdictions where it is properly registered or is excluded or exempted from registration requirements. Registration as an investment adviser is not an endorsement of the firm by securities regulators and does not mean that the adviser has achieved a specific level of skill or ability. The firm is not engaged in the practice of law or accounting.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:02

Welcome to Women and the Businesses They Own, where we celebrate the journeys, challenges, and successes of women building businesses and lives they love. I'm your host, Sherry Hooper, and today's conversation is one that I believe will truly resonate, especially for those of you balancing career, family, and a deeper sense of purpose. Patty, I am so glad that you're here with me today. You bring over 25 years of experience in marketing, communications, and helping organizations grow and tell their stories. And I know there is so much more behind that journey. So before we dive in, could you please share a little bit more about yourself personally and professionally?

SPEAKER_01 0:44

Well, thank you for having me. I appreciate the opportunity to share with your listeners. Um, yeah, my name is Patty Reva. I'm owner of Reva Marketing and Events. And um I have been in the events marketing uh uh arena for many years, as you indicated earlier. And um, I just love it. I love just being part of the milieu of all these wonderful organizations that I've had the opportunity to help and serve with. Um, a lot of my work has been in the nonprofit sector or the faith-based uh sector, and I just love it. I love to see um people with a mission that are driven by their passion to do that kind of work. So uh I love it. I just it's not work for me. Um, unfortunately, that you know how that goes. Sometimes it takes over and you don't have the balance. So luckily in my private life, I do have a lot of uh balancers that uh pull me back into their space from time to time. I've been married for over 40 years, which I'm very thankful and appreciate and love that I've been partnering with him for 40 years. Um, three children and my seventh grandchild child on the way. So thankfully they are all I know that it keeps growing. My goal is 10, but I don't think my kids are on that same page. But um, yeah, I love it. I'm very thankful and blessed that they are you know within 15 minutes of where I live. So we do get a lot of quality time with them, and I love it. It age, it'll be zero to nine in ages, so yeah, busy but but wonderfully busy. So I love it.

SPEAKER_02 2:34

That's incredible. 40 years is incredible.

SPEAKER_01 2:38

It is something to celebrate, yes.

SPEAKER_02 2:40

It is, it is something to celebrate because so many people take um, you know, they don't always get to stay with their partner for that long.

SPEAKER_01 2:49

In in trueness uh to that, yeah. And I and so I I've I think I've posted this on Facebook before. People will say, How have you done it for 40 years? I said, Well, no, not both of us wanted to quit at the same time. And there's just a lot of truth in that. I mean, hopefully, you know, when you want to throw in the towel for marriage, he's there saying, Nope, we got to work this out, and vice versa. So, yeah, not 40 years of bliss, but you know, it's it's been it's been worth the work. Let me say it that way.

SPEAKER_02 3:21

Yeah, I think that's actually very um, that was that actually hit home to me. Almost a little goosebum moment there, actually, Patty, because I always think of it takes three in a marriage, you know, you and your spouse. And, you know, I mean, for us, I know it's it's God having that um that third person in our marriage that you can always go to for biblical um answers and maybe in obedience there and through faith. But I love how you just said it if you're not both, I don't know how you said that now. Something about you're not both ready to give it and throw it all at the same time because I guess that that's key. If you're both there, there's nothing to hold you together at that point, right? Right, absolutely. Thankfully, you both were opposite and could bring each other in. I mean, it's really hard to pick yourselves up sometimes and go, really, we're gonna start again. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 4:14

And you know, you've got if you lived in a vacuum and you could just work out your problems, but you've got you know, external factors, you've got children that you know don't cooperate or do cooperate, you've got pressures at work, which are highly influenced how you handle your private life. Um, and I think we've become a society where we don't have the balance like we had back in the day where we just left our work, right? We're constantly connected by social media, email on a phone. Um, you know, so back in the day for my parents, it was you leave the office, and that was that. You just didn't you didn't have the constant um availability, ding ding ding. And we are programmed like Pablo's dog to answer those emails. So yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:06

Well, and also, you know, you have now after 40 years, you've built a legacy of three adult children, seven grandchildren. If you get your wish, 10. I mean, that's something to be said looking back. That you, you know, you that's the legacy, that's the sticking it out. That's the that's awesome.

SPEAKER_01 5:24

It is, it is, and you know, again, you know, I'm going through it on the other end now as a grandparent and just letting that stuff roll that otherwise you would have corrected as a parent. Um, but I kind of made a a deal with myself. Uh, I wouldn't when I started having grandkids, I don't I don't parent them, and I don't give my adult children advice unless I'm asked for it. So that is the I say it's the art of keeping your mouth shut, which really is tough at times, but you know, they're there, they can make the decision, and you gotta let them do trial and error. I mean, we weren't perfect parents by any stretch of the means. So um, I just hope each generation gets a little bit better. But I they're all awesome parents. I have no no doubts their kids will continue to thrive.

SPEAKER_02 6:16

So I love that. The art of keeping your mouth shut is how you said yep, yep. Oh, if that actually might be the most profound thing I've heard so far.

SPEAKER_00 6:31

It's not easy, it is not easy, you know.

SPEAKER_02 6:34

One thing that has stayed with me um too recently is that when you reflect on parenting, it's just if you can just realize we were just kids who grew up and had kids. Yes, yes, there's no there's no perfect answer. And I know that all the time every generation wants to blame their parents for what they did and didn't do, but but let's we have to remind ourselves we're all just kids that grew up and decided we're gonna do this kid thing too.

SPEAKER_01 7:04

And yeah, yeah, and we try our best. That's you know, I I mean, like I said, I have my faith and a lot of time and prayer about that. I mean, yeah, many tears over children and even jobs. I mean, let's be real. There's a lot of times that you know the stresses of our job, you know, are are hard to handle. It's just um we invest so much of our time away from our family and our jobs that it becomes part of us. And it's hard sometimes to separate even those emotions of you know, the stress that those jobs may cause.

SPEAKER_02 7:41

Absolutely. Well, so how long is Reva marketing? How long have you had your company?

SPEAKER_01 7:47

Well, I was smart and started um Reva Marketing and events right before COVID hit. Oh, you were smart, good for you. Yeah, it was a great time to go on your own. And and I had toyed with that. Uh, just I had so many people to encourage me, just you know, move on and do this and be able to explore the areas and the passions that I have and what I wanted to put my time and effort into. So actually, it was kind of cool where there's nothing I could do, nobody was meeting, right? And you couldn't go out. And I honestly think you are one of the first people I met after COVID and talking about my business. Remember, we met downtown at a coffee shop outside, of course. Outside, I think that was like in August of 2020, and it was kind of a blessing where I couldn't work. There's nothing I could do. It's the first time I slept the greatest in my life and had time to just walk and read and reflect. And I didn't really even do a whole lot of planning, to be honest, during that time. I'm kind of a jump in with your feet first, and I just had faith that God would provide the people I needed to continue doing what I do best. So so really it launched in 2020. So this is year six of it. So yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_02 9:10

Well, that's that's fantastic because what I wanted to kind of lead up to was then, um, even though this is your business for six years now, you didn't just decide that you were gonna start marketing just out of nowhere. I mean, your previous jobs. Tell us a little bit about your previous jobs. And, you know, I mean, is that did you know you wanted to be in marketing? Did you specifically look in the marketing field? Or was there a moment where you just thought, oh, this is this is what I love, and I'm gonna go find the job that suits me in the marketing world?

SPEAKER_01 9:40

Yeah, it it's interesting um because I graduated from Grand Valley and I took a marketing.

SPEAKER_02 9:48

Go Lakers.

SPEAKER_01 9:49

Yeah, go Lakers. I took a um an advertising PR class, I think it was called many moons ago, when I think there's three buildings on that campus. But um, the prof there I loved, and forgive me, I don't remember his name, but I thought he he had worked in some high-end ad uh agencies, I think in Detroit or Chicago. And I think it was I just loved him. I just loved him, and he really made it inspiring. And then we traveled, the class traveled to some like PR gig thing in Detroit. And um I remember one of the kids, it must have been he was at least 21. He ordered it, wanted to be part of the milieu, so he ordered a martini, and that it was the worst thing. And the prof came over that his eyes must have showed him, and he goes, Would you like me to take that? And he's like, Yeah, yeah. So, but it was just exciting to me. And I just thought, um, you know, that that is where I could make a difference, you know. Um, and kind of my previous jobs, you know, I've done all of that marketing and PR work. I've I've done a lot of work with development because it's been the nonprofit sector helping people, you know, strategize and funding, but also a lot of events, and that's really where I think that uh my passion was and continues to be too, is you know, doing events for 200 to, you know, I've done them for 10,000. So um, and I just loved it because it didn't ever really stress me out. When I have 30, 40 things going on, and people are coming at me with questions, it just does it, it it's where I thrive and I I don't get stressed, you know. And I've had any and every scenario go wrong at an event, you know, it's so power going out, you know, heat on when it's 90, and you know, you name it, artists not showing up or getting stranded in the air because they can't make the flight, you name it. And you just, you know, I think that's I've been blessed with that part of calmness, um, that I can be able to handle those things. It doesn't really bother me. And I love it. I love that energy that it brings. But I also, on the same token, love to help, you know, nonprofits or you know, ministries uh try to do better and get their word out and all of that that entails to you know be as successful for them as it is for their organization.

SPEAKER_02 12:22

Can you give us an example of what an event might look like? It's something here locally that can people could maybe just kind of go, oh, that's what she does, a little bit more. So is there a big event that stood out? Whether it was, I believe you worked at a radio station or even you know, currently with your own business. Give us an example of what you might organize or that somebody might recognize.

SPEAKER_01 12:44

I've done a lot of work in the Christian music industry and I've done festivals. I uh I've done the booking for all of those artists and you know, with different stages and a three-day festival, which I love. You know, your feet are never clean at festivals. But I also when I uh, you know, went out on my own and formed my own business, I wanted to uh be the voice of those that haven't really had a voice in the community of being heard. And I think one of my first um events in that was on body image for women. And it was something that um I've dealt with with one of my children, and I wanted to it I didn't know how to help her. And uh it was it was kind of a lonely walk, and there weren't a whole lot of resources out there, and so that really inspired me to say, if I'm hurting as a mom, there must be other women. And I think that we have it's even gone the other way in the pendulum, how it used to be body positive. Now we're back in thin is in, and if you're skeletal, that's even better. So that was really um profound in my first launch of that product, and having you know, somebody come in and talk to him about body image and really what it all means, and um how you have these internal dialogue with yourself that really is the the motivating factor and how how to navigate all that. So that that to me, and then I continue to do work in that area um for uh helping women and children are really my my strong passion and desire. Um, parenting issues, those types of things. I just uh I think I I I've said my motivation is those that are suffering in silence. I think that people believe they are the only ones going through what they're going through. And we've come become such a contained society with we all have our own phones, we drive into our garage door, we shut it, or just get out of our car and go in. We don't have that community like we used to have. And um, I have a friend that's a psychologist, and she told me this very early on that the number one thing that she gets from her female clients, age 35 to 55, is they have no friends, that they're lonely. And and I think that if you really dig down, you can understand why that is because you give everything to your job, you give everything to your family, and moms are always last, right? Or women are always last. They always feel like they can just get that one more thing done. So that was pretty enlightening to me. So anything I can do to bring women together to uh support one another, to like pull the mask down and being vulnerable and saying, Yeah, I'm struggling with this too. I think we just have a better sense of community. I think we all can encourage each other in those walks and lean on each other.

SPEAKER_02 15:52

Definitely sounds like it's a mission for you. I love that you are using, you know, when you started your business, it's events and marketing, obviously, it's in the name, but it's the particular events that you're choosing to do that are so meaningful to you. I can hear that passion, you know, to be able to bring that. So, how do you actually market that in the community so that if it's a body image or if it's a parenting, I mean, do you partner with different organizations? Or how is it that you can get the word out? That's that's your own marketing.

SPEAKER_01 16:23

So you create your own marketing, yeah. Instead of doing it for others, I gotta, you know, I can do it myself. And luckily, you know, uh if somebody was starting out, I'd say you've got to make those connections, right? Because you want to have organizations that have, you know, donors or a good uh email list that they can also use their resources to get the word out to be able to have people attend these things. And it's not just so you have a great event or you're making money, it's you want the message to be heard, and so I do partner with a lot of nonprofits um that have great messaging and it gives them exposure as well because there's so many great organizations within you know Greater Grand Rapids and beyond uh that have mental health disorders that help with you know eating or family issues, whatever. So that's what you need to do. I also still am a firm believer in radio. I think radio is not dead as much as you know, uh the younger generation. They they tend to get into that fold sooner or later because they want to hear what's going on their way to school, you know, dropping the kids off. Where is there an accident? Can't get that on on satellite, they're not gonna tell you there's an accident on 131. You're backed up for 45 minutes. So I do have a strong partnership with radio stations, which I I think they're great. I love doing them with them. Um, and again, you know, through your my events, I've created obviously a following and created my contact list. So yeah, it's it's you got to do it, press releases, um, you know, social media. You can't ignore that. That's just part of everyday promotions and getting the word out for marketing. So combo of all of those things, all of it.

SPEAKER_02 18:16

Yeah, you got to use it all in order to fill your venue. And so um, I was thinking as you were saying, you put together these festivals and these different events, and there's artists. I think you've done book artists to music artists, so you must have a lot of autographs. Please tell me you have like a whole shelf of autographs.

SPEAKER_01 18:34

No, again, I was blessed with that. I don't care gene. Oh I never, I mean, any Christian artist you can name, I've seen, been with, talked to, whatever. It just never was my thing. It to me, you know, and I started it very young. I anything as young now, right? But and my goal was to get home as quick as I could to get to bed because I had to get up no matter if it was 2 a.m. that the event ended ended. I got up with my kids in the morning to get them off to school and go back into work. I don't do that now, I I let other people stay that long. But you know, so that was never really my goal to, you know, I and I mean, many, many times they've asked, would you like a selfie or a picture with me? And I'd say, No, I'm good, but thank you. So I finally, after years and years of doing this, uh, I I worked a festival and I and I had an artist ask if I wanted a selfie. I said, sure. And I posted it. And I had so many friends that commented on it. I can't believe you did that, that you posted it. So it was kind of coming in cheap, but and and it's not because I'm better than them, I just think they're wonderful people. I actually have more um interest in getting to know the managers and the you know, the the sound tech people and all that. And you you really need to befriend them because they're the ones that hold the keys.

SPEAKER_02 20:03

So um well, honestly, the photos help me remember. That's why I'm always like, Oh, yeah, remember when I did this? It's not necessarily who they are, but yeah, I was there, I did this. You know, sometimes we all need a little jog of memory.

SPEAKER_01 20:16

Yeah, I know, I know, I know it, but you're so busy too at those events. It's very rare that you get a chance to get your.

SPEAKER_02 20:22

I think I would have gotten the autograph and then put that CD or book as a gift to somebody, and they would have thought, like, whoo, I did that.

SPEAKER_01 20:31

I had a lot of CDs that I was able to give, uh, you know, because they always want like go pick out something at the merch table, whatever. So my kids had every t-shirt from every artist, and they got to a point where a lot of times I was very thankful I would bring my my youngest to these events, and they got to the point where they're like, we don't want to come anymore. It was really cool at first, but then it's like, no, it's not so cool. It's not so cool. Yeah, I actually have to work. Yeah, you gotta work.

SPEAKER_02 21:01

So well, as you're you know, as you're in this business, and you know, basically marketing is kind of telling a story in a way, like you're trying to, you know, get the story out about the company and make people want to use that company. What do you think that people get wrong about storytelling or what could they do wrong in the marketing world? Do you see something that just lands wrong?

SPEAKER_01 21:25

Yeah, I think um, I think there's two answers I have to that, depending on if it's a you know, a nonprofit that has donors and they're fundraising or just a regular business. I think the the challenge with some businesses, they get very um myopic. Uh, they think that their product is the best thing on the market, and therefore everybody else should enjoy it as well. Well, you may need to explain what your product is, you know. So you get so immersed and involved in this that you start to lose sight. Of um external factors or how people actually perceive your product or your service. So that's hard, especially, you know, I've given birth to my company. And for somebody to come in and say, I need to make some changes, it's like talking to my child, you know, you what are you saying about my baby? So, you know, to get, you know, especially a lot of business owners have blood, sweat, tears, financial investments in their businesses and have worked very hard to get them off. So that can be a challenge to get through to them to like change their site into another way of looking at it. So no for nonprofits, I uh it it's sometimes not uh telling your story enough. They think that they are, but they're not, and to have others tell your story. So you you you get them to understand that um that's great if I talk to you about my ministry or my nonprofit, but if I have my donors doing that, if I have people excited for the cause that are able to, you know, talk to other people about that and say what great things they're doing in the community, that's powerful. So a lot of times I think, especially the faith-based one, it's almost like that. Oh, we don't brag. Well, you need to brag because you're doing wonderful things in this community. And the same thing for any nonprofit. Uh, you got to tell your story. It you think again because you work in it every day, you eat it, you drink it, you sleep it. Everybody knows about you. And um, it's not the case. I did an event when I worked at the radio station. This is an example. Um, it's it started before I started it. So it had been going on 25 years plus. And everybody say, Oh, these people come year after year. They've got generations that come. So I started. Okay, let's figure, let's let's really see how many have gone. It was amazing to the my my staff, the staff to see when I I had the MC who's here for the first time. Over half. Over half of the audience were there for the first time. So the perception was it's the same people coming over and over. So again, that just shows you that, you know, just because you assume it doesn't make it factual. You have to you have to gauge it, you have to do some research, market research, figure out you know what's going on, what's not going on, and that you know, that takes a bit of of time, but it also it it's wonderful to do because then you have a path to to follow, a strategy, and help you get through what you need to for success in your organization.

SPEAKER_02 24:46

Yeah, that's true. I mean, I think that is probably assumptions. What do they always say about assumptions? Yeah, I know that assuming it makes a yeah, out of you.

SPEAKER_01 24:58

It makes a big lot of you. But you do, you have a lot, especially again, these mission-driven ones. You're so people are working for peanuts mostly in these, in this, in the nonprofit sector and the yeah, um, the faith-based sector. So, you know, a lot of it is passion. And again, I'm gonna tell you your kid needs to get braces. You're gonna take that personally, right? So it's an art form, you gotta walk along with them. You can't just come in with your gun slinging and say, You gotta make all these changes. You can do baby steps and hopefully get on the same page. And it's wonderful when you see the line go, we get it now. It's it's just beautiful, it's just wonderful.

SPEAKER_02 25:38

So, yeah, it's an aha moment, right there.

SPEAKER_01 25:41

An aha moment, yes, right.

SPEAKER_02 25:43

I heard the angels sing, yes. It's like, why can't they understand?

SPEAKER_01 25:50

But it's you know, you got all different personalities you got to work with.

SPEAKER_02 25:53

So yeah, well, so how has your faith, you know, actually shaped the way you approach both your work and different relationships over the years?

SPEAKER_01 26:03

Um I'm not I don't I'm not afraid to talk about my faith, um, you know, when asked. And it's really been my guide. I I don't know what I would have done, to be honest, without my faith through my marriage, through my children, through my career. Because again, you know, just because you have faith doesn't mean everything's gonna go well, but it's kind of it's that core of belief that you know there's gonna be a tomorrow, and that you know, many times you just surrender. I I can't do this on my own, Lord. I I have said that so many times. Or what would you have me do with this? And when I pray about that, it sometimes it's a great immediate response, you know. I'll lose a client or I'll get another one, or it's a wait. And I'm like, Did you hear me? But it it's just where I turn. That's the first place I turn, right? It's not the manual, it's not Google, but it's it's you know, talking to my Lord and saying, you know, where where do you want me to be in this spot? Um, and and I have never really found anyone to be offended. Like I generally, if I'm out with a client, I'll ask if I can pray for the meal as just little things like that. And I've never had anybody say no. They're like, Oh, yeah, please, that would be nice. So, you know, that that's it's just part of who you are, and it's obviously taken practice, you know. I've been a believer, a Christian for a very many long, long years, but you still have your doubts at times, and you got to keep on, you know, putting it forward and and praying.

SPEAKER_02 27:44

Yeah, I think a lot of times I've heard people um that I know that are have strong faith say, you know, in their business, you know, God's my CEO, right? Yeah, God's gonna bring the clients, or if they're not good clients, or I'm gonna make a decision with him, or you know, I mean, and and sometimes that's an easy flow. That should be, you know, a lot of times how it is that we partner and like this is the way that I choose to live. This is the way that I choose to run my business. And but like you said, it doesn't take away the tough stuff. Sometimes there are still some things that just happen. I find, and I'm just gonna, this is just me. I'm gonna, I find that I, if I'm talking to you or a client, or a friend and there's turbulence. I mean, most of the time I'm gonna say, let's pray, or have you prayed, or have you done? And then I find myself like, well, where's my friend? Because I forgot to tell myself. I forgot to tell myself sometimes. I go to God and I'm like, oh my gosh, I should have done this a week ago. Why, why can it come so first as like a second nature to tell somebody else? And sometimes it's like, wait a second, I I forgot to go to him and pray about that. You know, that should be, I don't know. We just kind of go move so fast all the time. Right.

SPEAKER_01 29:04

Absolutely. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 29:06

Excuse me, you have to pause, right? And you have to just be able to think, what's my next move? Well, go to God. Right, right.

SPEAKER_01 29:14

And again, you know, uh, you're not it's not like we're gonna, you know, go to the Lord and ask what I should have for lunch every day. That's not what we're right, you know. But we do tend on the big things, go to him. But I, you know, I I also am a good one for thankfulness. I mean, that's a big part of who I am. I'm very, very thankful for just even the little things of my dogs, of you know, a roof over my head. I mean, it it really is truly the the graciousness because you know, I don't take what I have for granted. Um, I don't take uh the friendships I have or you know, even being blessed with grandchildren. I don't take any of that for granted. And I think a thankful heart changes who you are, right? It changes um your perspective of why me? Why didn't this happen to me? Why did this happen to me? And and I learned early on that it doesn't, it doesn't do any good to dwell on that stuff. It doesn't, it just sinks you further, right? The person that is either offended you or dropped you as a client or um didn't show up for you, they're not thinking about you, right? They've moved on. So if you're you keep thinking about this stuff or it goes over in your mind, you're just you're just robbing yourself of joy, right? So absolutely believe that. Not that I don't get angry or upset, but I I learned many, many years ago, especially in my childhood, you gotta let things go. You just you have to, it's not gonna help you, it's gonna hurt you. So, and I know it's hard. I'm not belittling people that have had trauma in their life or anything like that. I not at all. And I know it takes work and therapy and all that. Um, but eventually you have to you have to bury it because it's only hurting you, right? It it continues to follow you through the years, right?

SPEAKER_02 31:14

Right, agreed with that. I agree with that. Well, so you mentioned I thought definitely over 30 years. You're telling me you've been married to your husband, Rick, for over 40 years.

SPEAKER_03 31:24

40.

SPEAKER_02 31:25

40. So, I mean, what is what is that partnership? You kind of mentioned a little, but I already love what you said earlier. But what else, you know, has that partnership taught you about just commitment, growing together, and even supporting? I mean, he I don't believe he's had his own business. You have your own business. What does that support look like? You know, kind of share a little bit about your relationship with him.

SPEAKER_01 31:48

Well, uh the thing I love, one of the things that I love about my husband, one of the many things, is he has never um been threatened by my success or me being a woman of, you know, you know, with with commitment and determination and you know, and being confident. Not that I'm confident in every situation, trust me. But for him, it's never been an issue. And I know many women struggle with that in the workplace. That these men are very uh condescending, or they aren't you know, they're threatened by women, and he has never been like that. He's had women work for him and he's never had problems with that, so it's it's truly been a partnership, right? I was very blessed with a very hands-on husband. He way back in the days when we started having children, back, I think my oldest was born in '88. He was hands-on, it was just not a question. He did everything, and I had friends I remember early on saying, Oh, I can't my husband's gonna watch so-and-so, and I can't leave him with so-and-so. And I'm like, Okay, first of all, that's your husband's child. And what do you mean you can't leave him with him? And he's not babysitting, he's caring for his child. So, you know, he he did everything, you know. When I was out with my events or working late, he was he would get the kids all ready for bed, he'd feed them, he'd do whatever needed to be done, and vice versa. When he would get in busy six times, he uh went back to school and finished his degree, and uh our kids were young, and it we we set up a pretty big rhythm. He was taking like two classes working full-time, coaching, and he would just come home, eat, and go up and study. I mean, that man was so dedicated, and uh and I was a single mom for probably two two to three years doing that. I mean, but he was always there, he didn't do anything on Sundays. Sunday was his day with just the family and rest and the homework. So um it it just you know, you've got to be, you've gotta, you've gotta give of yourself. You've gotta you can't you cannot take score who's done more, who has an and huge communication. I mean, you know, if something's upsetting me, I we don't stew on that stuff, you know. I mean, I think the longest I've ever gone being upset with him is overnight, and that yeah, I can't even sleep if we we get in an argument. I can't, you know, I just don't like that unsettledness. So um, yeah, so it's it's again, like I said, when he's busy, I I kick in, vice versa. When I'm busy, you know, he kicks in. So a lot easier now with all the kids gone. So it's been a true partnership, you know, and there's many times I don't agree with the direction of something, but I give in. And a lot of times he knows what hills he's not gonna die on, right? He's not picking paint colors out for interior painting, period. It's not gonna happen, right? So, you know, and again, you know, sometimes you just have to give up and and say, you know what, this is not a hill for me to die on. And if you're I think you're truly in a partnership, if you're trying to please your spouse and your spouse is trying to please you, it makes it a lot better.

SPEAKER_02 35:15

So that's true. That's some really good advice for all of us. Yes, I love that. Yep, and I can't imagine only one overnight. That's it, that's the long time.

SPEAKER_01 35:24

No, I can't. I it and early on. This is so funny. I think we were newly married and we got in some stupid fight. I have no idea what. And I'm like, like, you need to leave. And he's like, I'm never gonna leave. I'm sleeping in my own bed. I don't care if you're mad at me, you can leave. I'm never leaving. And I thought that was pretty profound back then. So, you know, that's never been an option, right? It's like I'm sleeping in my own bed. It's like I'm not leaving my bed and sleeping on the couch. He's like, You want to do that? You go do it. So, like that actually kind of set the tone, to be honest. So it was from the get-go. That's right from the get-go, yep.

SPEAKER_02 36:04

That's where it needed to land. Well, so what about you know, when you have your three adult kids and you said they they all live close and you're really close to them, and you have your your grandkids. I mean, so what is what would what would be the definition of success for you now as you're in your own business, but you've got the adult children, you've got your grandkid children. I mean, it must look so different than when you're on the other side of it and your own kids and you're raising them and balancing to they're now working and finding that balance. But what what does reflection looking at where you're at? What does that look like today?

SPEAKER_01 36:41

Freedom to choose. That that's what success is for me. Is I'm at a stage in my career and my life, and I'm very thankful and blessed that um I have choices, right? I don't have to do X, I don't have to do Y. Um, and if somebody calls me because they've got a sick child that needs to be picked up from school and they've got one napping, it just brings me joy that I can go do that. Or um if I'm just doing busy work or research, can so-and-so nap at your house while we run errands. Absolutely. So that that I guess is my success. It's not the dollar amount, it's not the, you know, what big better thing can I do? It's it's being able to manage my own schedule and being able to say no to things that really don't give me joy. And I think that the younger generation is really embracing that better um and more effectively than my generation did. We just didn't have the choices. I remember one organization I worked for, you could only take sick time for yourself. So if your child was sick, you could not take a sick day for that. That's just how backwards it was, right? And this was a Christian organization. So I mean, it it's just you know, it I'm a firm believer in if mama's happy, everybody's happy because she's got so many burdens. And it's not uh it's not a feel sorry for you. She just does, her brain doesn't shut off. You know, she's what's for lunch? Do we have stuff for lunches? What's in that backpack that I didn't read over the weekend? Oh my gosh, his shoes don't fit anymore. I mean, all that. I've got to get the the the form signed, I gotta get him a physical, I mean, all ages, right? You know, his pads aren't washed from football, whatever it is. And it's not that guys don't want to help. If I would say, hey, honey, can you blah blah blah, absolutely? Men's brains just don't work like that, I think, because um moms and women's are more nurturers at, you know, by design. Uh, even if you don't have children, I think, you know, my husband can walk by a chip in the wall and doesn't bother him. I see it and it's like, oh my gosh, it's this big now. You know, it's really only this big, but the more I walk by it, so it grew. It grows. Yeah, yeah. So again, you know, I I hope that the younger generation has they have more balance of and and say no to more things, you know. Uh this, you know, contacting employees off the clock is insane to me. I mean, back in the day, you if you're gonna talk to me, I'm gonna get paid for it. So I I I I I welcome those boundaries that the younger generation are setting up. I like the flexibility, uh, the work-life balance, I think is an ongoing discussion we need to continue to have. I I hope in my children's lifetime that uh our United States of America, the most industrial nation in the world, has a better maternity leave policy. I mean, European nations have a year off. And I think what great, uh, great thing that would be for moms. They don't have to worry. The kids would be better, which makes better students, which makes better community, makes better citizens. It's just a trickle-down effect. So I I hope at some point we get stuff that help, we get policies and procedures that help, especially working moms.

SPEAKER_02 40:22

So that's true. I love, I love that. Um everything that you said was great, you know, right there for uh it made me think more about moms just staying home, I guess, is where my head was going too. Not just a year, Patty. I mean, yeah, right. You know, moms staying home and having the ability to live off from one salary for a while. I I do.

SPEAKER_01 40:47

I have a daughter that's a stay-at-home mom, and uh I I constantly praise her and her efforts because society is going to tell you that's not there's not a lot of value in that. And I'm like, you are raising the future generation. There's a ton of value in that, and not that working moms don't have that. I worked as a mom too. I stayed home, so I've done it all. I worked stayed home full-time, worked part-time, worked full-time. So I've done it all. And I can tell you, it, it's, it, it takes a lot, no matter what your circumstances in. And especially single moms, I my heart goes out to them because they must be exhausted 365 days out of the year. So um, yeah, I I I love the fact that we're looking for alternatives in the way that we can a lot of work at home. Great, love it. As long as you're doing your job, I don't care where you work from. You can work from a coffee shop, you don't work in your car, I don't care.

SPEAKER_02 41:44

It's hard to be at home too. I remember, you know, taking time off on a like a Christmas vacation or something when the kids are home. And I thought, oh my gosh, going back to work was like a vacation. I mean, you're here and there's just there's not the noise, and the mom and I snack, and you know, you you you make a meal and clean up and it's the next meal, and you guys, you're always oh, I'm back to that with the grandkids.

SPEAKER_01 42:10

I'm like, do they not stop eating? I just got the breakfast dishes done, and man, I need a snack. I'm like, what? But uh, you know, I again too. I think that the nice thing about stay at home when I was there is I didn't have that constant line. Yeah you should be doing this, you got this work to be done, you got this deadline. You and that was joyful, and that reflected on on how I cared for my children of just that more relaxed. If we don't want to get dressed today, we can stay in our PGs till dinner time and have pancakes. I don't care. That was the that was the beauty of it. So um, I that I did enjoy that part.

SPEAKER_02 42:52

I like that. I'm already thinking about Saturday. I might try that.

SPEAKER_01 42:55

Uh no, right? I mean my grand, my daughter stopped over with my grandson just to pick up something. I think it was like three in the afternoon and I open the door. I always obviously go out, and I'm like, I said, you still in your pajamas? Yep. I go, good for you. Good for you. We all need a pajama day, right?

SPEAKER_02 43:17

Yeah, I'm gonna start themes on Saturdays. I'm gonna have theme Saturdays. I know, I know, and stay home all day. I can't imagine actually staying home all day.

SPEAKER_01 43:27

So like when I get home from work, I immediately change, right? Right. It kind of like says you're done. And it just does something to your mood. You know, I can't, I remember like the days I couldn't do that because everything was going and I had to get the meal going and I'm still in my work clothes. Yes, like at you know, eight o'clock in the night and like going, ew, ew, get out of these things, you know. I gotta shut that off and get my my yogas on or whatever. Yeah. Comfy clothes, comfy clothes, comfy clothes.

SPEAKER_02 44:00

Well, so what would you, you know, like everything that you're saying, is there anything more that you would touch on? Um, you know, just to kind of think about your younger self. What would you tell her about what really matters? Because I think we've talked a little bit about this. Have we left anything out? Is there anything else you would tell your younger self?

SPEAKER_01 44:17

Yeah, this too shall pass. You know, I I, you know, I've had to learn the art of not to worry as much. I'm tend to be a worrier uh more than I should. And it's taken probably the last 10 years where I've really been able to just it's gonna be okay, you know. Uh you you have this um false sense of security, anyways, when you worry, right? It worrying's not gonna change it. You gotta just take it as it comes. And I'm like, you know, so be it. I and it's funny because my husband has been such a non-warrier. He's he did he always just say, I don't need to worry about anything, you got us covered for both of us. So with my change over the years, I'm like, it's gonna be fine, honey. What you don't need to stress out about that or whatever. And he's like, now look who's changed here. So again, it's taken a lot of effort and time and prayer. Obviously, I've read every you know book on worry and how to give it away. Joyce Myers has a great book on worrying, and then I I'd go through it with a friend and then we'd talk about it, and then we start to worry about something the next day. So it's like you just counterdicted everything that you just were taught, right? So it's been a process, but again, nothing lasts forever. I always say this nothing's as good as it seems or bad as it appears, right? Nothing's as good as it seems, like you got it all. No, there's something around the corner that's probably gonna give you a little hiccup, and it's never really as bad as it appears. There's always hope. That's the thing, is there's always tomorrow. There's always hope. I'm not a pessimist. I I tend to be more optimist, an optimist in saying, you know, well, how can we fix this? You know, what can we do? So, and I again I would so I would continue to surround myself with really supportive, especially if you're a woman, other women in your circle that you know can walk alongside you. I've got friends for I've had for years, and we've become a really tight group. We have a Bible study together, and it's just nice to be able to share those experiences with other women and you know, be able to say, I I really failed at this, and can you pray for me? I I did this badly, or what would you do in this situation? So I would always encourage women as much as their schedules are hard, get with somebody that you can life with, right? That another woman that understands what you're going through. That that to me is a really big part of being able to face what comes your way.

SPEAKER_02 47:08

I would say when I'm part of those same types of groups, it's also knowing that you're not the only one. I mean, sometimes we alienate ourselves thinking we're the only one that had this problem, or I don't know what whatever feelings that may come from that. And and you find like, well, nope, most of the group did that too, had the same issues. Absolutely. I think what's really important though is getting into a group that is going to support, encourage, and lift you up and not always give you the easy out, right? I mean, sometimes those groups have to be able to not just say, Hey, marriage is tough, go, you know, be done, but you know, because we've talked about marriage already in this podcast, but somebody that would say, pray about it or go to him or find ways to communicate, you know, not you really want somebody who is going to walk alongside you and help you through the tough stuff, but in a in a strong, faith-based way, right? And that's one of the things that I think that's been important to me is not always the easy solution, but walking beside me to get through the tough, the tough aspect of it.

SPEAKER_01 48:13

Oh, right. And to you know, be transparent enough. I think that's it's like who's going to be vulnerable first, right? And these relationships that you have, especially woman to woman, I think that social media has really distorted uh authenticity, right? It's just shot. Nobody looks that nice, nobody has that perfect life. Uh, that's just a bunch of junk. And you know, here I am, piddle me. I'm cleaning up dog crap in the backyard. Well, how uh should I post that or should I be on you know TikTok saying this is a life in my day? No, and so you start to devalue you, you start to understand that everybody else is having a better life, everybody's happier, everybody's thinner, everybody has more money. And um thankfully through my career, I was able to travel quite a bit um to uh underserved countries, and we have nothing to complain about in this country. I mean, I've seen the the poverty at its worst, and that has really grounded me. I think that's where my my like I said earlier, my uh thankfulness and my gratitude has has really grown through those experiences. So that that is one thing I've always told my children. If you are wallowing in a problem or your problem is so big, go just go, go serve, go clean, go do something where you are less and they are more. Uh when you put yourself in a position of doing for others, it minim your problems become smaller, smaller, smaller, smaller, and you see really how much gratefulness you have, even in the midst of your storm that you're going through. But serve, you know, there's so many organizations in this area that need people and volunteers. So stop thinking so much about your problems, stop thinking so much about how life is bad, and you know, go serve, go do something. So that's that's helped me tremendously.

SPEAKER_02 50:25

That is huge. I think that is something that we can all take away in that moment. So tell us two things before we transition here to the lightning round. But tell us what is your website and do you have an event coming up that people could look on your website and see what you're what you're doing and if they're interested in attending.

SPEAKER_01 50:44

Um, my website is reva marketing and events.com. Pretty easy. And then I I'm currently planning. I I launch, yeah. So I usually take the first quarter and plan and then I'll launch. So getting close, but not quite there yet.

SPEAKER_02 51:00

Okay, so can't share those ideas yet, but people will build that.

SPEAKER_01 51:04

And a lot of my events go through my other part of I've got Reba Marketing events, but I also have embracing you events. That's where I run all of my events through. Um, and that was birthed out of my desire to help, right? A lot of women and children and marriages and all those good things. So coming soon. Coming soon. Coming soon.

SPEAKER_02 51:29

Perfect, perfect. Well, before we can um, before we continue, if you're enjoying this conversation, I'd love for you to take a moment to subscribe, like, and share this podcast with someone who might need to hear it today. Your support also helps continue to share these meaningful stories. And Patty, if you go in the backyard and pick up your dog, a doo-doo, I will like it if you post it. I appreciate it.

SPEAKER_01 51:55

I just I just did it earlier this morning because I have uh some yard work being done. So hey, we all have to do it. I've just yeah, it's part of life, right?

SPEAKER_02 52:05

It'll be right next to that perfect plate somebody just posted of what they had for doing, correct. That you they're probably not gonna eat, right? I wouldn't. I think I'd change my mind. Okay, so here's the lightning rod. What's your favorite color?

SPEAKER_01 52:23

Oh uh royal blue.

SPEAKER_02 52:25

And how do you use royal blue? Where do you when you where do you pick it?

SPEAKER_01 52:29

Is it your car color, a paint color, a nail color? Nail and like uh shirts. I have a lot of that and sweaters in that color. Well, it must look good on you then, too.

SPEAKER_02 52:40

So that's great. Royal blue.

SPEAKER_01 52:42

Royal blue.

SPEAKER_02 52:44

How about are you an early morning person or do you like your late nights?

SPEAKER_01 52:48

Oh, that's so funny. If you asked uh my my group, they'd say no texts for her. She's not gonna respond to any group text before 10 a.m. I am a nightlife person, I am uh I am a uh night owl that and that played very well for my events, right? Yeah, I'd literally get my stride going about two or three in the afternoon, and I could work until nine o'clock at night. So, you know, 10, 11, whatever. Uh, my husband's still come on, you know, stop. But that's when I jam, he's got a golf night uh starting in the spring, obviously through summer, and I just love it because I just play my music and just crank on stuff. I absolutely love it. So yeah, I I am a night owl for sure. Perfect, perfect. But if you call if you call it midnight, chances are I'm still up and I can bail you out of whatever gym you're in. So okay, great.

SPEAKER_02 53:43

To our listeners, think about that. She's your she's your bailout. Correct, correct. Well, what's your favorite vacation?

SPEAKER_01 53:52

Oh, um, Europe. Well, Europe, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 53:56

What's your favorite country over there?

SPEAKER_01 53:57

Oh gosh, that's like saying who's your favorite child. Um, I Italy has my yeah, I know. Italy has my heart. We've been there a lot of times. We have friends that live there, so we've really seen the nooks and crannies, but I don't know. I think Ireland's a close second, so yeah, yeah. You like those eye countries. I do, I do, I do. Well, but I I have not had a bad experience in any country that I've traveled, to be honest with you. So um, it just feels like home. The minute we started traveling to Europe, it just felt like home. It's just the oddest sensation, but yeah.

SPEAKER_02 54:34

Oh, that's great though. Um, how about your favorite way to spend time with your grandchildren?

SPEAKER_01 54:40

Oh man, we just brought them to Chuck E. Cheese's uh for spring break, and I loved it. Man, that is my jam. I just love the uh the excitement and running from game to game. So I I mean activities like that or crafts I do with them. I I'm not I just I love it, but I also love just sitting there and you know watching them. I don't we do games together, but it's not like I I'm not a big sit and entertain you. You gotta come along with the ride on those things. So we just yeah, anything like that or go into the mall, whatever. We just have a riot, it's fun. Oh, that's great.

SPEAKER_02 55:20

I knew you'd have all kinds of fun things that you do with them. How about how about what is one word to describe this season of life? One word. Um I've got one word for you. Let's see what you say. Exciting. Oh, okay. I was gonna I was thinking Patty's gonna say gratitude.

SPEAKER_01 55:44

No, exciting. I'm excited to see, you know, uh my husband's probably gonna retire next year. Um early retirement, and just uh I'm looking forward to travel and um you know, just where the Lord leads me in in volunteering, and um I'm stepping on the board to a new nonprofit ministry here in Grand Rapids. I'm excited to see how I can help them and you know utilize my skills for that ministry. So I'm just excited and to see, I mean, I love like all these grandkids with all these games and yeah, I just love it. You mean sports games? Yes, I love it. Soccer's coming. I just finished basketball. And if uh the rule is if I can make it, I will. If I can't, I can't, you know. Um, so I I love it. I just love it. I you know it's the pressure's off. It's not your son uh uh catching the kickoff return, you know. I it's uh none of that stress, you know, none of that stress.

SPEAKER_02 56:45

So you get to laugh a little bit more so when they're picking flowers on the soccer field and the parents are like, oh my gosh, get the ball.

SPEAKER_01 56:55

Yes, yes, 100%. You don't care. Yeah, it's like I don't have to work on that shot with you because you're it's not you're not my child, you know. So it's nice.

SPEAKER_02 57:07

Okay, two more. What is a book or a message that has stayed with you?

SPEAKER_01 57:13

A book or message. I think that I alluded to that, Joyce Myers. Oh, you did, yeah. The worry. Um that's really stuck with me, and I've listened to it on you know audio. It just she's just so wise. I just love her. She's just wise, and she kind of says it the way it is. So that's really stuck with me through um kind of reinventing myself. I think the cause and something for worry. Um the cause and cure for worry. Oh, the cause and cure for worry. Okay. Yeah, so I've really enjoyed that book with her.

SPEAKER_02 57:48

And the last one is your favorite way to recharge.

SPEAKER_01 57:53

Cooking, love it. I love it. Just I it it relaxes me. I put well, it's that, and I love to puzzle. Puzzling is probably overcooking. Puzzling is yep. And I have a I have a neighbor that I found randomly on the next street. She was doing a garage sale, and I walked in and she's a huge puzzler. So for the last couple of years, we exchange puzzles. It's wonderful. Oh, cool. Yeah, I love it. But I think it keeps your minds sharp. It does, but I love to cook too. I just love to put the music on and just I I'm I love to cook. That's you know, finding new recipes. And I've got so many saved from TikTok. I I really need to go through those. So you need to organize them. Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_02 58:41

Well, Patty, as I sit here and reflect on our conversation, there was a couple of things that really stood out to me and that I wanted to share with our listeners. So jot this down, listeners, if you're um if you are wanting to hear these thoughts and keep them with you. I I always tend to pick something that's right at the end because it's easy. A lot of talking, girl. Well, so I wanted to go back to because I think there's several things that you said, and and hopefully others that are listening will have caught some of these things too. And they're not all necessarily event related. It's not all your business related on some of these things that you said, but you shared a lot of wisdom with even marriage. I I that one still sticks with me, you know. I mean, you both didn't want out at the same time. So you know, that's the realization of marriages. It's not always perfect and easy, but the fact that you both hung in there at different times when there was a an out, and you're like, nope, this time I'm pulling you in, or this time he's pulling you in. And and you know, that it's more profound than maybe it seems, but in reality, it's it's really good. That's what keeps us going. And in the end, we have this prize, we have this legacy, we have family, we have our kids that are grown and get to say that I'm only going to one Christmas, you know, or maybe they're in-law Christmas. Right, right, right. They're grandkids. Your grandkids are not going to what do you call the stepgrandma? Right, right. Not that any of that's bad, but to be able to get through that, through the tough stuff, and to have that legacy, I think is really cool. And then the the the other part is um the art of keeping your mouth shut. I honestly have you need to write a book.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:29

I do, I do. That's a great title. That's a the parenting uh person I had for my event said that you need to really write a book. And uh it's you know, trial and error, trust me. I I have failed many times at parenting and grandparenting. Um, but it's just you know, if if the difference is trying to learn from what your mistakes are, right? And if you keep repeating the same thing over it, then you're really not trying to make things better. So yeah, yeah, it has really been a zip, and it's so funny because um my husband has learned that too, right? Because he he'd say, like, you need to tell them, you know, we were talking about the adults with the I said, no, not gonna do that, neither are you, because it it's very well raised. Our rule is unless it's obviously physically detrimental to the child, we are not going to say anything, you know. If you want to feed your child peanut butter, you know, midnight, uh that's on you, right? So that got the consequences of all those of all those choices. So yeah, I look back at my parent, the things we did. It's like we had one car seat for three kids. So now what do they expire after like 25 minutes or some ridiculous thing like that? Yeah, so it's like it's such a racket, it's right.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:55

You know, you could the book doesn't have to be long and and you know, profound. You could do a short version, like I would call it a purse size so we could keep it in our purse with us, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:02:07

Right. Uh Grandma 101, he what do we do? It and again, still we're still learning, right? I mean, yeah, I yeah. I I mean I had to deal with uh uh one of the children, one of the grandkids being blatantly dishonest with me. And it's like uh you gotta clear out the cobwebs and say, okay, what are you gonna do? What's an appropriate response? And I know a lot of grandparents say they'll never discipline, never start whatever and that's not me. You know, if I see a blatant disregard for authority, I'm going to address it. Now I will never spank my grandchildren, that's not my rule. But you know, just words, gentle words of that was really disappointing to me that you you weren't honest with me, and that that hurt that hurt me. Though that's much more powerful than you know, you're gonna have a timeout or whatever. So wait, so your mama comes home. Yeah, we don't do that, and I don't report if there's problems with the kids when I have them. I I'm like, if it's bad enough, then I will say something. But don't don't ask me if they were naughty or didn't listen. That's I've handled it, so you go enjoy yourself, right?

SPEAKER_02 1:03:19

You're right, because I I parented you. I got this.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:22

Sometimes our kids forget that the best is I what my daughter will just literally sometimes just drop the kids at the back door and leave because she's so comfortable and she knows I know what I'm doing, which is uh it's really a compliment to me. I mean, you know, they're old enough to walk in, I'm gathering at this point. Yeah, and it's nice for my youngest because she's gonna have one here in in July, and she knows I've got six others that I've been, you know, one of hers too that I've been practicing on. So it's really good, good thing.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:56

Oh, well, you have brought a lot of joy to this podcast today. Thank you. Thank you so much, and thank you for being part of women and women and the businesses they own. Your story matters, and today you told it beautifully. And to our listeners, remember she came, she spoke, and she inspired. We'll see you next time.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:15

Thank you. It was great to see you and have have time to share with your audience. Thanks. Thank you, Patty. All right.