Episode 29: Kristen Nitz - Hope, Connection & The Courage to Walk Beside Others

View Podcast Disclosures here: http://bit.ly/4jWGPF4

What happens when personal pain becomes a mission to help others?

In this episode of Women & the Businesses They Own, Shari sits down with Kristen Nitz, Co-Founder of The Salus Collective, an organization dedicated to providing connection, resources, education, and hope to those experiencing or supporting someone through a mental health crisis.

Kristen shares the deeply personal journey that led her to this work and the powerful lessons she has learned about resilience, community, compassion, and the importance of never walking alone.

Together, they discuss:

• The story behind The Salus Collective
• Supporting loved ones through mental health challenges
• Breaking down stigma surrounding mental illness
• The power of connection and community
• Finding hope during difficult seasons
• Why asking for help is a sign of strength

One of the most meaningful moments of the conversation centers around a simple but profound question:

"What does hope look like when someone feels like there is none?"

Kristen's answer reminds us that hope often begins with connection, compassion, and knowing someone is willing to walk beside us.

To learn more about The Salus Collective, visit:

www.thesaluscollective.com

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review. Your support helps us continue highlighting remarkable women making a difference in our communities.

Here's what we are meant to take with us today:

Mental health challenges may touch one person, but they affect entire families, friendships, and communities. Hope doesn't always arrive as a solution. Sometimes hope arrives as a conversation. Sometimes it arrives as a resource. Sometimes it arrives as a person willing to sit beside us and remind us that we're not alone.

She came. She spoke. She inspired.

This podcast is presented by Summit Wealth Partners, LLC, a registered investment adviser that only conducts business in jurisdictions where it is properly registered or is excluded or exempted from registration requirements. Registration as an investment adviser is not an endorsement of the firm by securities regulators and does not mean that the adviser has achieved a specific level of skill or ability. The firm is not engaged in the practice of law or accounting.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:03

Welcome to Women and the Businesses They Own, where we celebrate the stories behind the businesses and the women who build them and the journeys that shape them. I'm your host, Sherry Hooper, with Summit Wealth Partners. And today I have a special guest with me. Joshua is here as my intern, and I wanted him to be a part of this uh webinar experience as well. And so just to kind of get back to that beginning here, as my guest, Kristen Nitz, I am so honored that you are on here with me, Kristen, and you are the co-founder of the Sallas Collective. And the Sallas Collective's mission is to provide connection and resources, education, and hope to those experiencing or supporting someone through a mental health crisis. So, Kristen, thank you so much for joining me today. And the very first question that I'd love to hear and for you to share is can you please tell our audience a little bit more about you both professionally and of course personally? We want to hear all about Kristen.

SPEAKER_03 1:04

Yeah, thank you so much, Sherry. I'm really excited to be here today and uh share about the Salah's collective. So yeah, it'll be great. Uh a little bit about me. Um I've professionally I've been in healthcare for about 25 years. Um I've worked in everything from acute care in the hospital, uh, spent a lot of time in geriatrics. I've worked in hospice. Currently now I work for a local um community health found uh Cherry Health. Um so I work in primary care practice management as a practice management operations um manager. So that's a little bit about me. Um very passionate about leadership and um serving serving patients, especially those who are in a vulnerable population. Um as far as me personally, um I've been married to my high school sweetheart next month. It'll be 33 years. Um we have four kids. Um our oldest is 30 and our youngest is 22. Um, so they're all kind of launching and growing. Um and I think, you know, to kind of work toward the solace collective, um, three of my four kids have had um suicidal um attempts and have been on some sort of a malt uh mental health journey. And so out of that, the solace collective was born. So that's a little bit about me.

SPEAKER_01 2:20

Well, that explains a lot. So let me go back in. Um so you had said that you've been in healthcare. Are you in healthcare administratively, nursing, doctor? Can you expand on that a little bit?

SPEAKER_03 2:31

Sure, of course. Yeah, primarily administratively. Um, so primarily um I've I've held direct patient care roles. Like I worked in the hospital as a nurse tech and ICU and ER. Um, but I also primarily have spent my time in either executive director roles, regional roles. Um, like I said, now I'm in a practice operations role. So I oversee three clinics, primary primary medicine clinics. Um, so yeah, but primarily in leadership and administration.

SPEAKER_01 3:01

Well, I heard you mention mention cherry health. Yes. Did you say that? Well, so I actually my last guest was Stephanie McNamara. Are you familiar with Stephanie? Because she said they were she was doing some sort of a benefit. And so with what her clothing line that she sells, she was bringing over to help cherry health in some way with all of the clothes that as people are doing closet surgeries. Yes, she was gonna be bringing over these clothes to you.

SPEAKER_03 3:28

Yeah, to donate, yeah, for sure. Yeah, we have a lot of our locations at our primary health. We really focus on whole person care, which includes those needs such as clothing, food, those kinds of things. So yeah, that's gotcha.

SPEAKER_01 3:40

Now, did you say you have grandkids?

SPEAKER_03 3:42

I don't have any grandkids. No, I just have four adult kids. Um, and I have one fur baby.

SPEAKER_01 3:49

Fur baby. Are any of your kids married yet?

SPEAKER_03 3:51

Uh, they are not. Nope. No, okay. They are not, they are just out doing their adulting.

SPEAKER_01 3:57

You said 22 to 30?

SPEAKER_03 3:59

Uh, so yep, I have a 30-year-old, um, a soon-to-be 26-year-old, a 23-year-old, and a 22-year-old.

SPEAKER_01 4:06

You must have been extremely busy as a mom. Still, even. But at one point with all of these kids, did you? Yes. You have a career of over 30 years, I think you said though. So you worked while you had all these little ones?

SPEAKER_03 4:20

I did. So I worked opposite shifts of my husband for about 14 years in direct patient care, um, as I guess like a CNA or direct care worker. I was also a charge nurse for a long time and I worked second shift. Um, so he and I didn't see a lot of each other for those years. Um, and then when our youngest was in school full time, then I was um pursued more like leadership roles. And then I actually went back to college to get my degree. Uh, so he would have been like seven or eight, I think. Um, so I opened my first assisted living as an executive director and was in school full time and had those four kiddos all at the same time. So yeah, and that's probably one of the things I'm proudest of, honestly, is I graduated with 3.93 GPA um with my bachelor's with all managing all of those things. And um people will say, How did you do that? I'm like, uh, one day at a time. That's all I can tell.

SPEAKER_01 5:15

That's it, one day at a time if you look too far down the road. I mean, I can't imagine there were a ton of extras or like a ton of occasions, or I mean, I don't know how you would have handled anything outside of just the day to day.

SPEAKER_03 5:28

I mean, just we did a lot of camping um during those years. And actually, though, right at that kind of that time, uh, just before that time was when my oldest had her first mental health crisis. So navigating that in addition to everything else. So yeah, it was it was an interesting time.

SPEAKER_01 5:46

Yeah, I was gonna say you're yeah, having to navigate that piece is it's it's that's scary as a mom to go through that. Um, and and certainly not to take lightly, but by the time you said there were all three of your four had kind of gone down that path. You did you feel a little bit more prepared on the second and third one, or is each crisis a little bit different?

SPEAKER_03 6:06

Yeah, I mean, to be honest with you, each crisis is very different. Um, you know, my oldest, I would say she has had the most chronic, complicated, um, intense mental health journey. Um, my other daughter, her sister, hers was um, and my daughter was always very vocal about, you know, her, where she was feeling and what she was doing, and very vocal about feeling suicidal, suicidal ideations, suicidal um thoughts, and all of that kind of stuff. Um, and she herself, I mean, she had over 20 attempts, um, multiple inpatient hospitalizations. So, and that went on for decades. I mean, I would say she's 75% recovered, but it's still as part of, you know, who she is. It's not all of who she is, but it's part of who she is. So we always have to kind of just know that that's part of it. Um, her sister, though, um, she didn't say anything. It took me by complete surprise. Um, and her sister was 12, I think, when she had her first attempt. Um, and that was different because of the fact that she was not really showing any other signs of like, I would say, behavior showing like signs or symptoms. It kind of came out of nowhere. Um, and then my oldest son, his was he had his attempt as an adult just two years ago. Um, and he was living on his own, living in his own apartment. He was struggling with some life stuff. I would say his is more situational, you know. So it's more like related to situation, feeling hopeless, feeling like I don't see a way out. And then as soon as he did it, he actually called the police um for help. So I didn't even know what happened. He did it, he had his suicide attempt at like 10 30 in the morning, and I didn't even know anything had happened until six o'clock that night because he's an adult.

SPEAKER_01 8:02

Yeah, right. Yeah, there's some of those things that are going on with the adult part of it. Well, I mean, it's it's interesting that you've gone through this journey so many times and each one being different. Your son was living on his own. Are the are your daughters home even today, or do they live?

SPEAKER_03 8:17

Um so my oldest lives independently. She has an apartment by herself right now. Um, that she lives independently. She does work and um she has a pretty she's pretty independent. Um, she I would say she's a huge success story considering what she's been through. Um she's overcome a lot. Um, my other daughter does still live at home. Um, so she's still navigating, trying to launch and that sort of a thing. Um, but a lot of that has taken more time because of some of the mental health things that we've had to deal with um that to to walk through with her um to get her to where she needs to be to be independent.

SPEAKER_01 8:54

And then it sounds like you have another son and he's yeah, my youngest.

SPEAKER_03 8:58

Um he they they the two youngest live together. Um, he's doing, he's pretty stable. He's no real mental health issues with him whatsoever. Um, so I think it just shows, you know, you can have four kids and they all can have four very different journeys and very different, you know, medically diagnosed mental illness, but also they manifest in their they they differently for each of them.

unknown 9:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:24

Tell me about his um his like high school. Did he um have a pretty good high school year? Was he involved in certain things? Did he have a a good friend group? I'm just you know, just for you know, just to kind of see maybe some of these differences. Um yeah, the youngest one you're you're referring to is that.

SPEAKER_03 9:42

Yeah, the one that means yeah, he was in high school during COVID. So, you know, his sophomore year after that, what that March or whatever, he didn't go back really until his senior year. I will say um he was he was duly enrolled. He was uh part of the Chinese immersion program at Forest Hills Northern. And that was something he was very, very passionate about and very um committed to. And so he had a little bit different um trajectory, I guess, than it's like a quote unquote normal high school kid. Um, he played some sports more in like junior high, but really then got more into um that when he was in high school. Um and so he actually, when he graduated because of that program, he has his associates from Western and Mandarin Chinese. Um and so he, you know, he he ended up not going to college yet. He assures me he's still figuring that out. But yeah, so um, but COVID definitely changed that. I mean, going into school or high school, he was gonna do the Chinese thing and then he was gonna move to China and get into IT, and that's what that was his plan. And then everything happened with COVID and he was like completely changed his his plans.

SPEAKER_01 10:55

Instruction, basically, absolutely hopefully he can hopefully he can still speak Chinese after all. He can, yeah, fluently.

SPEAKER_03 11:01

He still writes it. Yeah, he does.

SPEAKER_01 11:03

Yep. That's good news. Great. Well, let me go back to your um history again, where you said you went and completed your master's when you had four little ones running around, your husband's working. Um, obviously, the heart grows fonder when you and your husband were on different uh sure. Yeah, so ta-da. You said like some 30 years marriage. Um but where did you go to school?

SPEAKER_03 11:26

What would you do? So college, I graduated from Spring Arbor University. Okay, so I went through an adult accelerated program and I was actually in on the track for nursing. Um, that was gonna be my goal. I actually wanted to be a hospice nurse. Um, and then when everything happened with my oldest, um, I was working clinical or I was working like doubles um like at the hospital, plus I was ready to do clinicals and I had a lecture class, and then I had like, and I was just like, she has to be the priority, right? Like, so I changed my major, um, ended up actually leaving the hospital, found a different job that was a little bit more friendly to being more available for her. Um, and so I ended up graduating with my bachelor's actually in organizational development. Um, but I will say, given the journey I've been on, I have a strong clinical background, strong clinical acumen, but then I've also had a lot of that leadership and organizational development, which has been exactly what I've the tools I've needed for the different roles I've had. So that's been good.

SPEAKER_01 12:31

Yeah, well, there's always there the path that we have is always for a reason. Yeah, we know it or not at the time. It certainly has, I guess, paid off for you in the long run here. But so when you were growing up, what did you think you wanted to be? I mean, would the younger Kristen uh ever imagine where you are today?

SPEAKER_03 12:51

Yeah, no, I don't think so. Um, you know, I've kind of always been a caregiver. I had a mom who was sick from the time I was three. Um, so that's just kind of been part of life for me. But when I was younger, I really wanted to either I first wanted to be a marine biologist. I've always been very fascinated with like the ocean, still love it. Like I go there and I kind of come back to myself. That's just kind of my place. Um, but then after I was like a little bit older, I really wanted to be a journalist. That was I wanted my my dream was like, I'm gonna move to New York and be a journalist. And I thought that looked like a really fun thing to do. Um, so yeah, this path, I mean, my circumstances, to be honest with you, definitely shaped me in this path. Um, just like I kind of alluded to a minute ago. Um, this was definitely not the path I would have thought I would be on. Um, my first caregiving job I basically took because I needed to have a job that was opposite shifts of my husband. And healthcare is 24-7, right? Um, and I remember I worked my first caregiving shift. I was working in a dementia neighborhood, and this whole part of my heart I never knew existed. I was like, this is what I'm supposed to do. Um, so yeah, I was in primarily in geriatrics, probably up for around 20 years. Um, so yeah, but yeah, this path definitely not.

unknown 14:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:11

Well, you know, that's always the fun thing to think about is any of us being smaller. You know, you you go through middle school, you get to high school, they start saying, take this aptitude test, figure out where's your lean, where's your niche, all these things. And it sometimes it directs us, sometimes we have something else going. But you know, I mean, I think any one of us have started with a different dream. I mean, I love that you said journalists, New York, the big city, right? It just you know I don't know if we get that perception sometimes from TV or the movies, but I was really similar. I mean, I was speaking French, I was gonna fly internationally. I mean, like all these things. I was gonna be in board meetings with high executives, right? And just it was just kind of funny. I I mean, everything French. I had a French car. I mean, I was all in, like, but you know what? That did not, that did not actually go that way at all. Yeah, yeah, always a little bit different. But yeah, I think you've told me a little bit about the story behind Sallus Collective, but um, if you haven't already said that that special moment, I don't know if it had to do with your kids or your background, or you're a co-founder of Sallus, maybe it had something to do. Tell us a little bit about your partner and maybe how that all came together.

SPEAKER_03 15:27

Yeah, for sure. Um, so as far as like forming the SALAS collective, I will say, um, you know, walking my kids through all that, the mental health system is really difficult to navigate uh on its own by itself. Um I've done it with kids with commercial insurance, I've done it with kids with healthy my child through Medicaid. So neither is easy. It's it's all complicated. But the bottom line is there is help for individuals who are struggling. You just don't always, it's always not easy to find or to find the right kind of help. But what I will say was consistent through my entire journey is that there was no support for me outside of my own, you know, cognitive behavior therapy with a therapist or something like that. There was really no support. Um, it's very isolating. There's a lot of shame around it because of the stigma, um, a lot of unsolicited, unhelpful advice. And actually, my my co-founder, April, um, she was in a leads group with my husband, and she was kind of telling her story about her daughter. And he said, Oh my gosh, you need to talk to my wife. I was a little further down the road than April as far as experiences with our kids. Um, we met for breakfast one morning. That was probably, gosh, at least five years ago or more. Um, and I was just kind of telling her some of the things that, you know, that my takeaways having been a little further down the road, and we just both kind of said, man, more families really need to know that they're not alone. And we we just kind of dreamed about it that day. Um, and then we always kind of came, kept coming back to it. Um, and I think, you know, kind of the catalyst why it started when it started. Um, I was actually laid off last October. And so I received a really nice severance and had some time. And I was like, then I'm this is my time, right? This is when I can actually take the time to do this. Um, and she and I have stayed in touch this whole time, but we connected and I said, we need to do this, right? Like this is time now to do this. Um, it's always been something that I have wanted to do. There's a lot of things I'd like the ways I'd like to grow it. Um, but yeah, just to get it started was kind of the first step.

SPEAKER_01 17:44

So you were saying that Salah's collective really is helping not necessarily the kiddos going through the issues, it's more of their support. So mom, dad, grandparents because um really when when you're going through that, yeah, there's nobody to help you and make sure that you're okay. I'm sure there were plenty of nights where you just screamed in your pillow or cried on your husband's shoulder or what have you, and really um no support for that. So um, and and I didn't really ask you how is your husband through this journey as well? I mean, you these you're together, these are your yeah. Did he go through a different journey than what you did being, you know, mom?

SPEAKER_03 18:26

Yeah, very much so. Um, and it's it's interesting because a lot of people, therapists, other whatever have said, it is kind of incredible that you guys are still married. This is the kind of thing, especially one time, let alone three times. Um, and it's expensive, right? Financially, it was a huge, like it's that kind of treatment's very expensive. Um, his journey, and I he is very open about this. Um, he went more into, I would say, like kind of the fawn response. He didn't know what to do or the freeze response. He didn't know what to do, so he didn't really do anything. So I will say, and again, he would be fine with me sharing this. Like, I felt really truly alone in this. Um, the amount of times that I had to take my oldest, especially to the ER is countless. Um, countless, countless times. Um, the police knew her by name, you know, when they would come. Um, and I was always the one. I was always the one to go. I was always always the one to stay with her. I was always the one to take her to outpatient therapy. It was always me. Um, and so yes, it felt very alone. And the responsibility of that felt very heavy. Um, because they're asking you to make really, really big decisions about medication and treatment. And how like though they would ask me, especially in the beginning, how are you going to keep her safe at home? Well, honestly, I had no idea. And I felt completely alone, right? Um, and then as I learned more and understood how to navigate the mental health system, that became another thing because some of the things I had to fight for with her, I had to fight against with some of my other kids. So again, because it's not cookie cutter, um, and people that don't, they just you don't know. So you just do the best you can. I made a lot of mistakes, right? I did make a lot of mistakes, but I learned a lot. Um, and I even tell my oldest, you know, had I known what I know now, I would have done it differently, but I only knew what I knew.

SPEAKER_01 20:27

So well, I'm sure she can be very understanding of that too. Yeah, I was 30 years old when this happened.

SPEAKER_03 20:33

Yep, for sure. So how old were you? I was 30 when her 31 when she had her first um suicide attempt. So yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:42

Well, and I, you know, I find that to be the case so often with moms, though. I mean, we're very nurturing and loving, and and just and not that dads, I think we just have different roles in the home. And I I can understand his freezing just because I think they don't know what to do, and they you know, and men have this masculinity, and when they can't do what they do, they you know, freeze, they don't do anything. But mom, we just we step right in, we're gonna hold on to, we're gonna hug, we're gonna drive, we're gonna stay up all night, we're gonna take you to the air. I mean, everything that's required, moms, and that's truly how God has made us. And thank goodness one of us is gonna be able to do it in the right time frame. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, so what did you, you know, you said stigma. I can assume that having three out of four children go through this, you got a lot of unwanted advice and a lot of people that are going, like, what is she doing or didn't do, right? So tell us a little bit about that.

SPEAKER_03 21:41

Yeah, for sure. Um, you know, I think we we've come a long way, we still have a long way to go. But back then, I mean, we're we're going back almost 20 years. Um, yes, it was a lot of things like she's doing this just for attention. Um, if you prayed more, had a stronger faith, then. She would be better, you know, those kinds of things. And that wasn't just from friends, it was from family. And I think too, you know, one of the things that was really hard for her, given her what she was experiencing, the different medications. I mean, that that whole medication game was probably as bad or worse than the actual mental health uh disease itself. Um, you know, attendance to school was really, really non-existent. Um, and so truancy was a big deal. And I got a lot of judgment from the school. Um, you know, it got escalated to the point of juvenile detention, and they were like, well, if she doesn't go, then we could incarcerate you. I mean, it just got it got to the point where it was like, oh my goodness, like how how do you accept I can't make her go? Like, I can't physically pick her up, yeah, and make her go. Um, so yeah, with that stigma, um, again, it just reinforced the isolation and it re-in-I mean, when my peers, and I lost a lot of friends through it, not because of arguments or anything like that, but I just kind of withdrew, you know, my peers and uh my my you know, her the moms of her friends, um, they'd be all be talking about, you know, driver's training and prom and graduation and all those big milestone events. And I'm like, hey, we're just trying to make it through the day one day at a time. Um she didn't graduate a traditional way, even though she's incredibly intelligent. Um, she didn't, she got to go to prom because her best friend invited her to her prom at a different school. So she got to experience that. She didn't drive till she was 20 because, quite honestly, she was too much of a liability. She had too much impulse control. Like it wasn't safe for her or anybody else. So, like, none of that was relevant. And so, again, just felt more isolating, more alone. Um, and you just feel like you're completely carrying all of it by yourself.

SPEAKER_01 23:53

Well, and you really were, it sounds like very much so. So, so now Sallus Collective is born through a lot of this. So, what uh what kind of support do you offer? Or how can people reach out, or are there different qualifications, criteria, or how is it that you're supporting people that are going through this with your children or family members?

SPEAKER_03 24:17

Yeah, for sure. So we did launch uh peer support groups. Um, I've been a part of them, I've organized them, and they are very powerful. Um, so that is something that you know we're we're actually we're taking a break in the summer, but we're gonna relaunch in the fall. Um, and we're considering even doing virtual because I think sometimes it's hard for people to either physically get out of their house to come to something or to actually just take that step, right? Um so we're gonna we still are gonna have our in-person, but we will also have virtual. Um, we're also gonna be partnering with the Ronald McDonald House that's embedded in the Pine Rest Pediatric Hospital. Um, they want a support group for the the parents that are um there because their children have traveled far away, you know, just like McDonald's, Ronald McDonald's House for medical. Um, so we're gonna be having support groups there. Um, we are partnering with Pine Rest too on some public speaking events in some schools to get the word out to social workers, teachers, parents. Um, and then on our website, that's you know, I kind of alluded to it earlier, um, finding those resources. I mean, most of the stuff I found is by process of elimination, right? Um, we tried something and it didn't work, so I tried something else. Um, so a lot of trial and error, which can be exhausting for everybody and expensive. And so what we're doing is we're creating community partnerships. So if it's not us, if we're not the right people to take care of people, we want to make sure we have a vetted, trusted partner. And those links are listed right on our website so they can go right to that link and it kind of gives them kind of a shortcut because when you are in a crisis or you are experiencing a crisis for a long length of time, you can't really use your frontal lobe very well. You know, you're kind of in what they call that amygdala hijack of just constantly being waiting for the other shoe to drop, and you're just constantly feeling like you're um vigilant about scanning for everything all the time. And so trying to slow down enough to even find resources is next to impossible. Um, so then you know that allows people to go, hey, let's we can even guide them a little bit. It sounds like you might benefit from connecting with this place, right? Um, even after suicide loss, we have a partnership with Ellie's place because we don't do afterc after suicide care, but they do a great job at that, right? And so then we would we would have that link on there where they would be able to go right to their website to connect.

SPEAKER_01 26:50

Oh, that's great. I mean, like you said, you've been through this and and you're in the healthcare. Sounds like you already had quite a few connections that you're able to reach out and a few, yeah. Make it all happen. Yeah, I love that all of that's been able to be a resource. So um, how are you guys funded?

SPEAKER_03 27:07

So right now we're donor funded. Um, we did start as an LLC because we just wanted to get started, and that's kind of the quickest way to do it. Um kind of our three to five year plan is to we don't charge our participants for any of our services. That was really important to both of us because everything else in mental health is so expensive. Um, and so we wanted to make sure that there, no, that that was not an a barrier for access. Um, so donation primarily is how we're funded. But our goal is in the next three to five years um to raise enough funds to be able to transition to a 501c3 nonprofit because we've gotten opportunities and grants sent our way, but because we don't have that distinction, um, we can't apply for those. So we want to be able to raise enough money to be able to fund that. And then obviously, you know, we'll need a lawyer to help us to develop our bylaws. And um, I have started nonprofits for other people in the past, and so I do know like the legwork that goes into that, but it does require some funds too. Um, so that's kind of what we're looking to to uh raise money for right now, and then once we can, we'll have more access to to funding.

SPEAKER_01 28:21

Do you have a donor button on your website or something? Okay, good, good. Yeah, will you please tell all of our listeners what your website is?

SPEAKER_03 28:30

Yes, it is www.the solacecollective.com.

SPEAKER_01 28:35

Good. So it is the salascollective.com. Perfect, good. I love that. So there is um, have you ever heard of um 100 women who care? Or might even be called, I don't know, now that they've probably surpassed a hundred, maybe it's just the bad rapids and women who care. Because I I just, you know, some of the ladies I ran into again recently at an event where we both were rising together. Oh, yes. And uh Mary Beth was there, and um, she said her and Sherry and Lori, they're still doing the women who care. So that would be great if you're familiar with that. But they bring three, you know, members can nominate different charities. Now uh again, you might have to be a 501c3, so it might be on that bucket list, so to speak, for you to kind of get there. But you know, all of the gals that show up after each of the three of you speak, and if you're the one that everybody votes on, you take home the hundred dollars that everybody brings, right? Every member. So it's a nice way. Yeah, excuse me. It's a nice way to be able to get some donor um money to continue your work. So I mean, write that down, get that 501c3 going.

SPEAKER_03 29:49

Well, yeah, yeah, we that's our goal. So, you know, our biggest thing is we want to make sure that we are sustainable. We want to be here for a long time because I don't think this is going away. And so we really want to build those deep roots and make sure we're intentional um about what we're building. Um, even if it is a little slower, some people are like, we needed you yesterday. I'm like, I know, but we need to make sure that we're doing it in the right way. Um, never will we ever turn anyone away if anyone you know needs us to walk with them. Um, we also have a partnership that we're working on, if you're familiar with it, it's called NAMI, the National Alliance for Mental Illness. It's um they have a local chapter, and so we've connected with them and they want to do some work with us this fall. So we definitely have some things like coming up and things that we want to um, some dreams that we want to fulfill, but we also have to make sure that we're doing it in the right way. Um, but I do think getting a 501c3 is gonna open a lot more doors for us.

SPEAKER_01 30:42

It'll open a lot, you bet. Yeah. Well, so is a lot of the networking like rising together. I'm gonna bring that back up because I believe you were the 2025. Were you in the book? I was. Yes, I was. So describe that. I mean, uh just for people that might not be familiar with rising together, and how is it that you were chosen and what does it mean that you're in the book?

SPEAKER_03 31:04

Yeah, so rising, I was nominated by somebody, I still don't know who by who, um, but somebody nominated me, nominated me as a woman of a local woman of influence or a woman that was um you know impacting her community. And so Heather Mahoney, it's her project. Um, she created, she's a photographer, and so she did, you know, some headshots and she created a coffee table book, and now she's created a whole movement, quite frankly. Um, but we still get together a couple times a year. Um, this last this last year in 2026, about last month, um, they had those um people who were elected for the book, and then some of us alumni joined to just support them and celebrate them as well. Um, but that's been an amazing opportunity too. I've met some really great women um resources. I was in the book at the time, Solace Collective hadn't started yet, but I was in it for leadership. Um, I also do some leadership speaking, like keynote speaking. And so somebody, I I think it was somebody who was at one of my, I think I'm not even sure who it was, to be honest with you.

SPEAKER_01 32:06

Doesn't matter. It's just you know, it's just great because of the influence that you have, um, regardless of whether or not the Selax Collective was going at the time, you are well known in the community. And what better way to share your story and you know, this journey is to be able to connections. And so, I mean, everybody in the room knew you. I mean, that's a that's a huge start in getting this out there.

SPEAKER_03 32:31

Yeah, for sure. For sure.

SPEAKER_01 32:33

You know, one thing that we haven't really touched on that I was thinking of is um if if somebody were going through this, or how would somebody know if they're going through this journey? What would be, you said it seems like with one of your daughters, you knew it and she was open about it. One of them kind of surprised you and you didn't see any of those symptoms. What would somebody look for in their children?

SPEAKER_03 32:56

Yeah, that's a great question. Um, and if you go to our website, April and I both have videos on there that kind of tell more in depth about our journey with fat. Um, I will tell you from my oldest, it really looked a lot like rebellion. She was about that preteen year. I literally I say in my video too, like I feel like I went to bed with a sweet preteen, Jonas loving glitter in pink from toe to toe, or head-to-toe uh girl. Jonas brothers? Is that what you're doing? And then I woke up with a daughter who was defiant and kind of wore like black clothing and hoodies. And um I was like, what in the world happened? You know, and I really thought it was like an like an individuation type of thing or a rebellion. And for probably the first year, I really thought I we really didn't know what we were dealing with until she had her first overdose. Um, we got her into therapy right away because she did have a lot of like self-esteem issues. And so I wanted to get that nipped right away. She was 10 when that happened. Um, and she had her first attempt when she was just before she was 12. Um, and so, you know, that was like, oh, we are dealing with something completely different. Um, you know, I remember, you know, people talk about being disassociated, right? And so when that happened, when this actually the school called me, um, and they said we found a back her backpack and her locker, and it's filled with a bunch of different pills. Um, and so I was like, oh my goodness, right? And so I didn't even know at that point what we were dealing with. And I tried to talk to her about it, and it was shortly after that that she actually overdosed. So um how to tell, back to your question. I think anytime you see a major change in your kid, if they stop going to school, they stop being interested in things, they're not sleeping, they're sleeping too much, they're eating, they're not eating, those kinds of big changes are a red flag to ask more questions. And I think what's really challenging, we put an article in our last newsletter about this is that kids that age really don't always want to talk. You know, you ask any like kid who's even not struggling with a mental health diagnosis or journey, and you say, How is school? Fine. Well, what does that mean? Right. Um, and yeah, exactly, exactly. So I think just having the ability and the and just pushing yourself past, like if you and I will say back to the mom thing, like you know in your gut, right? Like you know something's off with your kid, even with my oldest, um, my my or my oldest son who had his attempt when I mean, like I said, he was in his own apartment. I was actually driving to Luddington. He at the time lived with my oldest. Um, and she called me and said, Hey, he's not home from work yet. Have you heard from him? And I was like, No, I know. And she's like, Wait, okay, so his boots are here, all these signs, right? And as soon as she started saying that, even before we called the police, I knew. I knew something was wrong. Um, and what's really interesting is the day before I had a conversation with him and he had been to therapy and he was feeling really good and he was feeling like he was on top of the world and he's gonna do this and had all these epiphanies, and then the next morning is when he attempted. So it's really, really hard. And I think the foundation of that relationship is what's so important that you know that you your kids can come to you. And I think the other thing that is so important that I learned through this is that talking about suicide does not make someone want to commit suicide. I think parents are so afraid to bring it up, and that's the very thing that that kid is hoping they will. Um, because they want to be able to say, yes, I'm feeling this way. And as soon as they feel less alone, then you're on, you're one step closer to pulling them out of that pit.

SPEAKER_01 36:57

That's really um that actually uh, you know, I'm kind of processing that a little bit and thinking back, you know, when even my daughter was younger, or I'm sure other people are thinking that. I think, you know, we always do want to step away from saying that because if we say it, it means it might happen, or we're giving them the idea when in reality it's already on their mind and we just need to talk through it with them. It's kind of like um in my world of estate planning, nobody wants to discuss getting estate plan because nobody they always think they're gonna die if they put this together. It's like, no, no, no, you're not gonna, it's not gonna make you die. It's just gonna make you prepared for, you know, the inevitable. But um, I completely understand that. Well, if we were to pivot just a little bit away from this, um, what would be I always love to hear as people are growing, even in your own workplace or in this um collective, the sales collective or what have you. What do you what do you listen to? Is there been a TED talk that's been inspiring to you or some sort of podcast in a share with us what that might be? And was it also in mental health or was it just in your own, excuse me, your own occupational journey? Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_03 38:08

Um, I've got quite a few, actually. Good. Um, but I'm I'm a lifelong learner. Um, if I could get paid to go to school, I probably would. Um, I would say, you know, a lot of people are familiar with Brian Brunei Brown. She's one of my favorites. Um, her newest book, Strong Ground, is phenomenal. Um, but I think her book, Bravey in the Wilderness, too, was a really, really important book. And actually, my oldest and I read it together on recommendation by her therapist. Um, it was really important to um for us to kind of understand that from where each perspective we were coming from. But then there's also an author, her name is Brianna Weist. I don't know if you've heard of her. She's not as well known. Um, but she has a book that I recommend to a lot of parents because the reality is with this journey, especially if even if it's just one time, if you've seen your kid go through a suicide attempt and they've had to bring them back to life, there's definitely some PTSD around that for the parent. Um, and when it's recurrent or if it's if it happens more than once, you know, you don't think of that in the time, but you get a few a few years out with a little bit of space and margin, and you're like, oh man, I'm not okay at all. Right. And um she has a book, it's called When You're Ready, This Is How You Heal. And I think it's just a phenomenal book. Um, and it's especially, I think, for parents who have walked this journey with their kids. Um, there can be a lot of, like I said before, stigma and shame, but also guilt about not doing the right thing at the right time or making decisions. Because I mean, I'll never forget the first um psychiatrist we had the medications he put my daughter, like she was catatonic for a year. Um, and I took her to a different one who was more pediatric, and he took a look and he said, Who did this to her? Right. And I didn't know any better. Um, I was just taking the recommendation of the doctor. I didn't know. Um, so I think those are things that you don't necessarily aren't responsible for, but you do feel accountable.

SPEAKER_01 40:15

So oh, definitely. I can understand that. Is there um any reading or podcast that you do for fun that you just want on the code? Oh, yeah, for sure. Absolutely. Yes. Everybody needs an outlet.

SPEAKER_03 40:27

Do you have an outlet, Kristen? I well, I I go to the gym, that's my biggest outlet.

SPEAKER_01 40:32

Okay, great.

SPEAKER_03 40:33

Um, but no, some of my podcasts, I do have a few of this. So there's one called Smartless. Um, I Jason Bateman, Will Arnett, Sean, what's his name? Hayes is his last name. Um they're great, they're funny.

SPEAKER_01 40:46

Everybody knows Sean Hayes from Will and Grace.

SPEAKER_03 40:48

Yes, exactly. Just Jack, right? Um, but Jason Bateman, he was like my crush growing up.

SPEAKER_01 40:54

So oh yeah, he's a poster on the wall for sure when we absolutely yeah.

SPEAKER_03 40:58

So that's what I listen to for fun. I also love Cy Wakeman. I don't know if you've heard of her before. She's one of my favorite leadership speakers, she's phenomenal. Um, so I follow her podcast. I I listen to a lot of them, but how does she spell her name?

SPEAKER_01 41:12

You said uh CY.

SPEAKER_03 41:14

C Y Wakeman. Yep, she does some great um if you ever watch something on YouTube of her, she's really fun to watch present too. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 41:22

Oh, great. Well, um, I mean, I'm interested in that one for sure too. But she's really good. There's all this wonderful information, but you know, we we don't get to be where we are without, like you said, being lifelong learners. I hope everybody can take that to heart and what that might look like different for everybody. But there's just so much to learn and to grow. I mean, we get one life to live. We would we just really want to maximize it, but we, you know, and and with what we know, we have great conversations, we have better connections. You just you never know when you're gonna help that next person anyway, even if it's unintentionally, right? So for sure. Yeah, so you know, we're we're kind of coming to um a close, and I don't know if we got through everything or not. So I want to ask you before we go to the next um lightning round, is there anything more that you would like to just leave with our audience today about what you and April do there at Salas Collective? And yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_03 42:19

Yeah, I mean, I think too, you know, um April and I both have so much compassion for parents that are on this journey with their kids. Um, it's an unseen illness a lot of times for the person experiencing it, but it's really an unseen challenge for those families and for those parents who are walking that with these kids. Um, I remember many of my friends when I finally shared with them for the first time, they're like, oh my gosh, I would have had no idea. You were always so happy and you seemed so like you've got everything together. I had no idea this was going on in your house, right? Um, and that was partly me because I didn't want to accept my story for a long time. Um, it was just like, how is this happening to at that time it was two of my kids, right? Um, and so I think it's just, you know, at the Solids Collective, there is no judgment. We're accepting of all. Every journey is different. You know, April's daughters, hers was brief. It was, you know, she went into recovery fairly, fairly quickly. Um, whereas my kids have had a different journey. My my my son, he his same thing. He got, you know, it was more situational. He got on some medication, he got into therapy, and he's he got stable pretty quickly. Um, again, my oldest, it went over from the time she was 10 or 11 until I mean she had her last suicide attempt was three years ago. So um it was more persistent and lifelong, you know, um, more chronic, if you will. So I think just knowing that whatever that journey looks like for people, it doesn't have to be a big journey like that. It the little journeys matter too because it's still scary and it's still your kid. can still lose them right it it just takes one day or one decision for them to make that decision and I think as parents knowing too the thing that's really important um is you know I it's an Al-Anon thing but I've kind of taken that on is that I didn't cause it I can't cure it and I can't control it. Those are the three things that I kind of go back to in those moments of chaos right like you are one human you only have so much capacity and you only can do what you can do. And at the end of the day that love and that was the thing you'll hear that in my video too like I did not feel like love was enough. It wasn't going to be enough to save her um and so that that is that is a hard scary place to be as a parent for sure. And so that's our that's our passion that's our goal is to support those parents who are having those moments because if no one else if so I can keep one other person from having to walk that journey alone that is what I want to do.

SPEAKER_01 45:07

I can feel your your passion there. I mean that's crazy and if all of the listeners are feeling a little bit like me right now it's like okay everybody just like wiggle and get all that out that's that's heavy. I mean it brings a lot of emotions and I've never experienced that but when we think about our our kids there could be just hardly anything worse because you're you're dealing with the possibility of death every day or being fearful of that next phone call. And so do you do you um you know and not to throw you under the bus so to speak but do you have a strong faith because something has kept you afloat.

SPEAKER_03 45:46

Something has kept you above um yourself you know yeah I would say yes um it's evolved over the years right um I think everyone's kind of does throughout their life but yes I have always had that as a as a grounding point. And I used to get pretty angry at God like why is this happening and if you could fix it, why don't you those kinds of things and I remember even my daughter um because we raised our kids you know going to church and she basically said you know she's like I God doesn't love me. And I said what do you mean she said if he loved me he wouldn't have created me with a brain on fire. And that was probably when she was probably 12. And so that those are big questions those are big big thoughts and heavy you know so um yes the faith has grounded me but it also has somewhat complicated some of the the faith leaders in our lives were probably the mo the ones who rejected us the most so it's just been very complicated.

SPEAKER_01 46:44

I I have heard that several times and that's that's very unfortunate. But but you know the relationship is personal with you and and God and so you know humans let us down yes absolutely yes yeah well so lightening up a little bit we're going to round here um I love what you and April are doing it it's it's not in anything that I've experienced like I said but it's certainly something that a lot of people are going through and I know you'll be able to help them. So um a lot of people hopefully will reach out to your website and be able to get more information. But before we continue to the fun um questions here if you're enjoying today's conversation for our listeners please take a moment to subscribe to follow and to share this podcast and in particular I think this one can really hit home in what you and April have created and and hopefully creating solutions for people as well. But obviously the support of everybody out there listening and sharing and liking helps us continue to really highlight the stories of these remarkable women and I sure do appreciate that. So with that we're gonna have Joshua help out with a lightning round. So this is meant um I always say it's like um turning on a timer no pressure you don't have to answer fast there's no game show no prize fun yes all right um question number one is what's your favorite drink?

SPEAKER_03 48:14

Oh my favorite drink so um honestly alcoholic or non-alcoholic I don't know if it matters I am a huge bourbon girl um my husband and I are what we call bourbon hunters. So we go all over the country and find bourbon and uh locally and around the country we do the bourbon trail every year. Um so that would be that would be my thing non-alcoholic would be fresca fresca hello hello so you've been to Kentucky is what you're saying bourbon trail right okay yeah got it what about uh one bourbon that downtown Michigan it's a great restaurant yeah they have a great lunch yeah sweet um so sunrise or sunset oh that's a good question uh I'm an early riser and I and if it's not raining I usually tend to go out for a walk before I go to the gym so I'm gonna say sunrise I love them both but I love the feeling of a brand new day there's nothing like it agreed I'm curious on this one uh beach vacation or mountain getaway beach vacation all day long let's go come on the water a beach and a bourbon and I'll be happy yeah they go except in the morning at sunrise yeah sunrise at the beach with a bourbon I don't know might be a little early for bourbon but maybe not I don't know so what's one small thing that brings you joy every day oh one thing that brings me joy every day um there's so many things you know I think just um yeah that that's a that's a good question there's there is so many things I think you know I have a a thing in my bathroom that says today's a new day make it a good one right and I think just being able being given that day every day and to make the best of it that you can every single day no matter if you have hard things um I would say my dog though gives me joy like she's she's just she's the best I just I adore her she's kind of dog do you have um she's called a stab a hoon which most people are like oh what right and so she's in the border collie family she's not a border collie she a lot of people think she is but she's not um yeah but she's been with us since a puppy and we're buddies like we we hike together we walk together we she boats with us she's yeah what's her name her name is Gracie Mae Gracie Mae got it Gracie Mae what else do you have for us Joshua? If you could have dinner with anyone alive or dead it doesn't matter who would it be it would be my mom I lost my mom at 20 years old and I wouldn't do anything to have dinner with her for sure two more what's one word that you hope people would use to describe you um I would say accepting just I yeah just whoever you are wherever you are in life doesn't matter to me any of the things that we can list through right um just accepting and that you would feel oh feel warmth and feel welcomed yeah then the last one what's something that's still on your bucket list oh I got so many things on my bucket list um I love to travel um so I have a very long I was a travel agent actually before I got into healthcare um but I want to go to Croatia I want to go to Greece the whole Mediterranean but I also really want to skydive I I too would love to see Croatia I've looked up pictures because I had a friend that went and I was like who goes to Croatia and then I looked at everybody says that I'm like look it up and then we'll see the pictures skydiving is not for me I'm gonna leave that all to you yeah I'm a little bit of an adrenaline junkie but I guess I would love to skydive yeah I've done free climbing in Denver like I've done crazy like when I was younger before anybody really counted on me but yeah that's the thing is like once you become a mom some of those things just either take a back seat or you think I I've got too many people that need me right now.

SPEAKER_01 52:36

That's right. I can't risk that but I would still love to do that. I think that'd be fun. Well Kristen as I listen to your story today there has been a lot of things that resonated with me. And so it's really tough to kind of think of the one thing but what really gave me goosebumps I think more than anything is right at the end of our conversation when you just talked about it's even hard to bring up but to see your child or to think that this may have been their last day, your last day with them and then will that happen again? You've had to go through this so many times but to be able to just be so near the closeness of losing your child and what that must be for parents and and not processing it right away or coming up later I mean I I am so thrilled that your story has a happy ending and regardless or despite I guess the the fact that you've gone through this so many times and with many of your children they're still here with you today all of them all of them so that one that one really hit home for me. But anyway it kind of makes me just like I can't think about that as a mom. So you are a tough person inside and out just like to be able to go through all of that and to be able to take what could make you really like pull in and and tough in a negative way you've been able to use for good and you're just putting this into this um charity that can now help many others and there's no better way to help somebody than to have experienced it yourself and really be able to share your own story and and like you said to be accepting of of everybody going forward. So absolutely well um Kristen thank you for sharing your story and your heart and the important work of the Sallas Collective thank you to our listeners for joining us on another episode of Women in the businesses they own. And today you shared your story and you shared it beautifully and to all of our listeners please remember she came she spoke and she inspired we'll see you next time