CONTEST PREP: WHAT TO EXPECT, OFF SEASON PREP, AND SHOW DAY

Welcome to PUMP TALK: THE GIRLS ROOM— Where Strength Meets Sisterhood 💪🏽

Hosted by Raven & Candice female bodybuilders, this podcast is all about breaking barriers, building muscle, and empowering women to embrace their strongest selves — inside and out.

Each episode dives deep into training, nutrition, mindset, and the realities of competing, while keeping it real about the ups, downs, and everything in between. Whether you’re stepping on stage, starting your fitness journey, or just looking for motivation, we’re here to educate, inspire, and remind you that women can do it all — and do it strong.

🎙️ New episodes weekly — subscribe and join the movement that’s redefining what strength looks like! 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome back to another episode of Pump Talk the Girls Room. We're so excited to have you guys back here for another episode. Um, today we're gonna be talking all about first-time competitors, what to expect when doing a show, the mindset to kind of have, and expectations.

SPEAKER_03 0:17

So deciding you want to compete. Um I think most people, most people already have some kind of like background in the gym or with fitness before they decide that that they want to compete. So that's like one category of people. But then I think there's also another category where they don't have that background or they're not like really already gym people and they just like kind of see pictures and or maybe they know someone who went through a transformation and they're like, oh, I want to do that. So I feel like there's two different kinds of groups there. Um obviously, like the second group, like it's probably it's gonna take you a lot longer to get to stage than it is, you know, if you've already been hitting the gym and you kind of are more familiar with the lifestyle and you've built a lot of those habits. But um, like for me personally, like I I've been in the gym for like over a decade. Um, and people would always tell me, oh, you should compete, like you should compete. And my response is always like, no way, I'll never compete. I was like, I will never compete. I thought I was so stupid. Like, I was like, why? What is the appeal of that? Like, I didn't understand why people even wanted to do it. Um, at least for like bikini division, like that's what I, you know, that's what I was thinking of in my head. Obviously, I'm not like some big bodybuilder. Um, and I just thought it was like stupid and and I didn't get it, you know? Um, and so I learned first off never say never because I had to eat my words big time. But I think uh uh a big part of me deciding to finally like take that step was like I wanted to sign up with a coach to to see more progress and to see faster progress. And like my husband was like, well, if you're gonna sign up, you should compete. And I I had no intention. I like I just wanted to sign up as a lifestyle assignment. And um, and but then whenever he said that, it was like, dang, really? Like, I think maybe it gave me that little push. Um, like I probably had it deep down inside of me all along, you know, but maybe I didn't believe I could truly do it, or I didn't believe I was like, I know for a fact, like I didn't believe I was like girly enough, or I thought I was too tall, I thought I was too old, like I didn't think I could truly get on stage in a sparkly bikini because I kind of related it to like pageants. I never did a pageant, like I wasn't that kind of like cheerleader girly girl. Like I just wasn't, even though I am a girly girl, just not that kind. Um and so I think like what it brought out of me was like this whole other like feminine side that I didn't know I could like tap into before, but I always kind of wanted to. Um and it's kind of like counterintuitive because you think, oh, you're getting muscles and like getting jacked in the gym. You're like, you're but it but it does take that level of like femininity as well, especially in categories like bikini wellness spit model, you know. Um, and so for me, it was like like deciding to compete was like really kind of allowing myself to tap into that and be a little bit more vulnerable when it comes to that, because I think it can be scary, you know, like to start putting yourself out there like that, like practicing walking in heels, you know. Um, it's kind of getting out of your comfort zone. But once I finally just like was like, okay, I'm gonna do this, it it brought out a whole nother side of me. And um, that was kind of like the decision for me. I don't know. It was cool, I guess. How about you?

SPEAKER_00 4:25

Yeah, so I same like you, I was like, that's so dumb. Like, I just didn't understand. I was like, so what is the point here? Like, what are you getting out of that? I thought it was just stupid, and I was like, oh, bodybuilding is so unhealthy. I would never do that. Those people are stupid and crazy and obsessive, and they all have eating disorders. That was literally me. It's so funny. Um, and then so I started my fitness page on Instagram, and then I kind of started following MPC bikini competitors, and I was like, okay, that could be cool, but then I still was like, meh. Um, and then I did like a powerlifting competition, and then I was like, oh, I absolutely hate this. I don't want to do powerlifting. And then I was like, let's just try to- Oh my gosh, I love that.

SPEAKER_03 5:09

I love that you did powerlifting.

SPEAKER_00 5:12

I did not know that about you. Dude, yeah, why is it? It's actually like, see, it's honestly it's fun because you just PR and lift heavy, but like you think bodybuilding is competitive, dude. This all people like in your weight class, so same weight and height as you, and like, you know, you think you're strong, and then you see it's like so like all the five, two, like 130-pound girls were like crazy strong, like squatting like 350 pounds for reps, like I mean deep reps, and like deadlifting like 400, 500 pounds, bench pressing like 225. Yeah. So I was like, maybe not this. And so um, one of my friends was doing bodybuilding, and so then I was like, let's just try it. So I signed up with a coach, but I didn't really know what I was getting into, like, I didn't realize the sacrifice that it took. I remember when I started it, I like my first coach was like telling me everything that it takes and all the sacrifices, and no, you can't have this, and you can't do this, and I was like, Whoa, like it takes a lot to do this. Um, and I already had some muscle because I've always I was a college track athlete. I've been running track since I was five and always lifting weights, and so I kind of had always had muscular legs. So um first I wanted to do figure, but then I realized that I am not blessed in the upper body, I'm blessed in the lower body department. So then it worked out because there's a wellness division. Um, so then I just decided to do it. But I guess I didn't realize that all that it that goes into it and how much you have to sacrifice and put into it, and like it's a sport, but it is a lifestyle, and it takes so much, and you have to really want it. Like, I and so a lot of people have to realize, like, you know, it's fun and like, you know, it's a sport and a hobby, but hey, this is a lifestyle and it's competitive. And if you want to like get to that next level, you have to put everything into it, and you have to be willing to sacrifice like friendships and date nights and just normal stuff, like I don't know, just being able to you get coffee and you can get a donut with it, or just like being able to go to lunch, like you have to be able to give up those things because everything has to be tracked, like at all times of the year, and there's like no room for error. And so you just have to know that it's a lot more than just going to the gym and doing the workouts and doing your cardio. It's like an all the time you don't turn it off 24-7 type. It's a job.

SPEAKER_03 7:35

Yeah, so I think that's really interesting because like for me, like I knew all that. Like I knew, like I had already been tracking my food and like been super meticulous with all of that. So like I was prepared for all of that. Um, but like, but like I said, like tapping into that, like wearing heels and posing and all of that and putting myself out there, that's what I was had to work on. So it's cool to see like two different sides, you know, from two different athletes, like what you know, what what you really get into when you first start. It's like what's gonna be the harder part for you? Like everybody's so different.

SPEAKER_00 8:17

Yeah, and it's like, you know, and I can and I knew I wasn't too worried about like the nutrition because running track, you do have to watch what you eat, but you have a lot more room because like you're okay, all you do is run, bro. You burn, you don't have to worry about getting fat when you run track, college track, especially, because you're like, I mean, I was just running and we had weights, and so I just didn't worry about that, especially if I was like in track season, and yeah, no, and so of course I would eat healthy during the week, and then on the weekends, I was doing whatever I wanted, like literally, I don't even know. And so then you get to bodybuilding, and it's like there you can't just like you know take the weekends off and do whatever. So that was a change, and then the posing was hard for me. Like, uh that was one of the hardest things. Like the diet and the lifestyle change was hard, but since I've always been an athlete, I just adapted. I was like, Well, I want to be successful, I want to do this, so I just like locked in and it was fine. Posing, oh my god, and walking in the heels is hard. I mean, I'm still getting used to it, and I've competed for two years now, and I'm I'm still getting used to doing everything. Like, I can pose fine, but walking is still very hard. Like, you know, the walk to the back, like it takes years to master posing, at least for me. Um, that was the hard part, and being comfortable, like doing, you know. I remember the back shot. I used to be like, so like, I don't want to do that, like that's silly. And now I'm just like, oh, whatever, and I'll like post it and it's fine, and it's like crazy. But yeah, I kind of think like I know everybody's different.

SPEAKER_03 9:50

Some people like to share more than others. I feel like you and I both share our journeys a lot online. Um, I feel like we're both pretty open about it. And for me, like kind of sharing more of that, like that's the whole reason why I created a fitness page was because I had my personal account and it got to the point where I all I wanted to do, this was even before I started competing, and all I wanted to post about was fitness. And I was like, I feel like I'm annoying people. So let me start a fitness page. And um uh, but yeah, I feel like kind of sharing more of that helped me grow my confidence with it as well. Like as far as the posing and all of that goes. Because yeah, I know I suck at posing. I still suck at posing, but like there's something about putting it out there and like letting yourself be vulnerable, where it just, you know, it helps you get more confident and care, I guess, as much, you know, what people think or not be so scared of doing it in front of people, even though it's just online.

SPEAKER_00 10:52

Yeah, yeah. And like it takes a lot of courage to post things online because you put it out there and then people can kind of say whatever they want. But for me, it I just so like whatever, and that you don't see enough like people posting it and being real and raw and authentic about it, and like that's why I post so much now in my off season because all I see, I swear to god, all I see is like people in prep or shredded or lane, or they wait till they're in like in prep and shredded to start posting and sharing stuff. I'm like, you know what? Whatever. I'm gonna post my physique updates with my cellulite, with my little um rolls on my waist. I don't care, it's fine. Like, who cares? And you know, it helps other people too. Like, I have girls that are like, Wow, this really makes me want to embrace the offseason. And one girl, she meant well and it was fine. Like, I I know that I have put on significant weight. Um, I had to to grow, I needed a lot of muscle. It means some body fat's coming. One girl was like, Yeah, like this makes me really want to gain the body fat back. Thanks, Richard. And I was like, You're welcome. But I was like, ah, but yeah, like it's hard to put yourself out there, but it helps because like if you can post it online and not care what people think, you can definitely get your butt on stage and do whatever, like and just so it 100%, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:05

Yeah, for sure. Like, if you can put it out there, like you can do it. Uh, that's really funny though, about the the girl. One thing um that we should always remember, it was like a great piece of advice someone gave me one time was just remember that posing suits are only meant to look good when you're stage lean. Like you're not supposed to look good in a posing suit suit. You're not supposed to look good in a posing suit when you're not stage lean. Okay. So just remember, guys, these are not regular bathing suits that you see at the pool. These are like tiny pieces of fabric um that are meant for tiny bodies.

SPEAKER_00 12:45

Yeah, and like you're yeah, it and it's all like you have to also remember like it's not sustainable. Get getting into this too, the sport, you have to realize there's phases, and every phase has its importance. And um, you know, the shredded girls that you see on stage all done up, that's just a little piece of the bodybuilding puzzle. And you'll spend a lot of your time not looking like that, maybe with more body fat, because you need to grow and get healthy and you know, regulate your menstrual cycle. You will not spend all your time looking like that. And one thing to really keep in mind is comparison and make sure that you're not comparing yourself to anyone else. You don't know what they did before bodybuilding, you don't know their journey, you don't know what muscle they had, like you don't know what people are taking, what they're doing behind the scenes, or you know, how many years they've been doing this. So you just cannot compare yourself and be like, oh, I wish I looked like her. Because like you're if you're gonna do that, then you're it's just gonna waste time. Like, you just do not fall into that trap. I fell into that trap for a while. I would compare myself to people, and it's just a waste of time because like you can't control what someone else is doing, so just worry about yourself. I know it's hard, and and we're on stage and we get judged, and we are getting compared against other people, but you just you know, you can't compare yourself. And I know it's you know counterintuitive.

SPEAKER_03 14:02

I think, yeah. I think that's such a such a big point, especially talking about the first time you compete, because I've I feel like every first-time competitor or most probably do compare themselves. It's hard because you've never seen yourself on stage before. You've never seen yourself stage lean. So you're like cropping yourself next to these people who you see online and you're like, am I gonna look like that? Am I close? Am I where what do I mean? More shoulders, more glutes, more legs, you know, and you're comparing yourself because you you don't have those pictures. Like then the next time you compete, I always just compare myself to myself because I have my own pictures now. But like that very first go-around can be very difficult because um you don't know what you're gonna look like yet. It's your first time getting there. Um, yeah, and then that can go into like, you know, looking at people from your show, and that can be a slippery slope sometimes.

SPEAKER_00 15:07

Yeah, I you know, I'm guilty. I used to crop myself beside other people and it was dumb because I was like, what like no? Sorry, my dog's like screaming. Yeah, you're right, I should not do that. But I used to do that, and like, what's the point of that? It doesn't get you anywhere, and like you just have to just focus on you and yourself and getting yourself as close to the criteria as possible. Just don't worry about anyone else. Like, you don't body, like you just you can't worry about that. Um, and that goes into just like you know, your why, like, why are you doing this? You know what I mean? And why did you get into the sport? And you know, there's so many different reasons. Like, some people they should like a bucket list thing, some people want to see if they can do it. Um, everyone has like a different reason, but like, you know, what is it gonna do for you to compare yourself against like other people? Like, nothing, it's not gonna do anything for your physique, it's not gonna give you any more muscle. So coming from someone, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 16:00

All it's gonna all it's gonna do is hurt your mental. So, yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_00 16:06

Yeah, and then um that's another thing. Okay, uh, okay, you got one? Yeah, so also when you think about bodybuilding and competing, like the fr like, okay, please do your research. Coaching, you have to have a coach. Like, I do think though, there are some, I will say, I have some seen some people like self-coach, and that's impressive to me, but I feel like it's very biased. Um, because this is a sport where like, you know, every single like millimeter and decimal matters, and so there's so much bias in coaching yourself, but do your research and take your time because a coach is important, and that's how you're gonna get better, and that's how you're gonna develop the physique. Um, and you're it's no rush, right? Like, you don't have to find a coach by a deadline, like the bodybuilding stage is not going extinct, and so like if you can't like be in your timeline to do one show, there's a million other shows. There is literally a show every single weekend. Um, so don't rush, like, take your time and interview people. And because there's so many coaches out there. Um, and that's one thing I wish I'd have done when I first started, but I was so excited because you know it's exciting to get started and all this, and like you hear one coach and they tell you one good thing, you're like, Yeah, okay, let's go. But like interview people and like make a pros and cons list and like take your time. That's one thing I wish I would have taken a little bit more serious, but I was just so excited and ready to go.

SPEAKER_03 17:29

Oh, yeah, same here. I never I didn't even know any coaches other than the one I hired, right? Um, and I think that's the way it goes for a lot of people. But and I know for me, I I felt like, oh, well, it doesn't matter that much. Like it's just training and eating, like they're gonna be able to diet me, but it does matter, guys. Um, it does matter. Like, and having a good coach can make a big difference in your prep and the way you're dieted and the way you come in to stage. Um yeah, so definitely if you take your time to look around, it is a hundred percent worth it. And like maybe don't sign a contract right away. That was another thing that got me. Like, I wanted the discounted rate, so I signed up for you know 12 months or whatever it is. Like, that's not smart.

SPEAKER_00 18:20

Yeah, and there's a lot of that test the waters a little bit, and but there's a lot of people that also require that, and so um, and I get that, okay, for like you know, their purposes, just be careful, read over everything. I know some people have like a it's like you have to sign up for at least three months, and like you you sign a contract and then you do that like stripe automatic payment, and so some people they require it, but like those years, so I can understand like two, three months, like okay, get that, but like here, two years, like six, even like six months. I'm like, mm, that's a long time, and like what if it doesn't work out? And like you're locked in and you put in your card information, like, yeah. And so take your time and like you know, it's your money, so you sign a contract if you want, but please just make sure that you're sure and just be careful because some people like it. Like a lot of not some people, a lot of people are just in this for the money, so you just have to make sure that, like, you know, they're genuine and they have your best interests, and like talk to their athletes. Like, you can message people's athletes and say, Hey, how do you like working with that coach? I did that one time, and this girl saved me from making a huge mistake with a coach because she was like, Yeah, actually he sucks, and I'm about to leave. And it's like, wow, I messaged, yeah. So it's like, I'm glad I messaged someone, like, message their athletes and see, and like, you know, look at you know, the things that their athlete, like how their athletes look and how they bring their athletes to stage and things like that. Don't just look at like the highlight reel and oh, they have a hundred pro cards, like they must be good. Like, you you just ask the athletes and interview as much as possible and um do your research and make sure that you know they align with your goals and that you, you know, like them and every there's just so much that goes into it, and like, yeah, there's so much that I would do differently. Just take your time with that, please.

SPEAKER_03 20:13

Yeah, take your time. And so you so once you get a coach and you're probably they're probably gonna want to like do a little building season with you before you start into a prep, um, at least so that they can like get to know your body, you know, um, see how you're responding. So then you start prep and as your first go-around, like how do you know if your prep's going good, going bad? Like, it's the first time you've seen your body changing like this. Your loved ones or your family or friends are seeing the changes as well, and they're probably hopefully they're excited for you, but they might have a lot of questions, you know, or be confused why you're even doing this. Um, if it can be a lot that first time around, a lot of big changes, you know.

SPEAKER_00 21:05

Yeah. Um, and then like and every person approaches it differently. I know some people, you know, they get into the sport and they just do a show to see if they like it, which I think is fine. But most coaches and a lot of coaches will want to put you in a building phase first and help you build the muscle because, like, for most women, you're not gonna have the muscle that it requires, um, because it's it's a lot more muscle than people think. That's another thing I want to emphasize. Excuse me, that I didn't realize that it's a lot more muscle than you think, even for bikini. Bikini is not small, like it's not, okay? These girls are jacked, they have a lot of muscle, and so it there's nothing wrong with like building muscle first, but there's also nothing wrong if you want to compete just to see if you like it, sure, go ahead. But understand that like muscle takes time and you might not look how you want to look. And so don't take offense if a coach is like, Hey, you need to grow and you to put on more muscle. That's something I didn't realize. Either because I was like, Oh, like I ran track all these years, I have muscle, like I'll be fine. But like it's more than just that. It's like the type of training I was doing as a track athlete versus bodybuilding, it's totally different. Um, so yeah, that's a big thing. It's like it just takes a lot more muscle than you think, and like don't that's another thing with comparison. So you can't look at like these Olympians and these pros and these people competing for years and think you're gonna look like that, and so it just takes time and um yeah, and for prep, I guess like it's hard to in your first prep to know like going good, going bad. It's all over the place. Like my first prep, like it was so hard. Um, because I had never done anything like that. Um, I had never uh done like you know, controlled starvation. Um, but I I just make sure you have a good mindset for it, make sure you're ready for it, because it's hard. Make sure you're financially ready for prep, emotionally, mentally, all of that. Understand that prep is sacrificial and you will sacrifice things and you will put things in life to the side, and relationships might be on the back burner, but that's what it takes because you have to be selfish, because you have a step count, cardio, you have to hit these macros, like all the things. It takes a lot, and so just be ready to know that prep is like hard and lonely and sacrificial, and if you're feeling horrible, that's actually a good thing. I did not, you know, even though it's kind of obvious, I didn't realize. Like, I remember my first prep, I'm like, I just feel so bad and tired and I'm hungry. And my friend Kate was like, Well, that's good, it's supposed to be that way. You're supposed to be tired and hungry, like it's a good thing, like you should feel that way. It means it's working because you're losing yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:39

I mean, I don't really like I don't know. I'm not a fan of people saying that to be honest, but like, yeah, you should be hungry. If you're not hungry, then you're probably not in a deficit. Um, I agree with that, but just because you're just because you're hungry doesn't mean you should feel bad. Just because you're hungry, but you can feel good and be hungry.

SPEAKER_00 23:57

Yeah, I think so much it's like I remember we were at like Olympia and I was like, I'm just like so tired. And she's like, you know, you're gonna be tired, and it's like normal. And like, so you'll be fatigued and you're supposed to feel tired, but you can also embrace the suck. And that's something that I learned in my second prep. And so, you know, you don't like you're not always gonna be tired, and there's ways to live with it, and that's how when you know when you do it over time, you kind of learn. My first prep, I just I didn't understand, you know, how things are supposed to go, how you're supposed to feel, this and that. Second prep, you know, it was hard, but it was so different, like it was fun, like I enjoyed it and I embraced it, and yeah, I was tired and hungry, but it it felt good, and like my body was changing, but just know that it will be hard. It's not sunshine and rainbows, but when you see your physique change every day, it makes everything worth it, especially like when it's crunch time. To me, it makes it worth it.

SPEAKER_03 24:50

Yeah, it's so cool at the end whenever like you really are seeing those changes today. I agree. Um, I had a couple things like I wanted to touch on about like that first prep. Like, let's see. Um, like you're changing, everybody thinks you look great. Probably people at the jenky look great, your family thinks you look great, you know, it's the best you've ever felt and you've ever looked yourself, and like one thing that I have learned is like it's nice to get compliments from people, but like I don't take any of them to heart. I don't care who it's from, even from my coaches. Um like the only thing that truly matters is what the judges think. And so, like if don't fall into that trap of like, well, everyone told me I look the best, I should have won, you know. Well, that doesn't matter, okay, because the only thing that matters is what the judges think. And so, whatever the feedback they gave you, like that's what you need to work on. It doesn't really matter anyone else's opinion, like it's nice, yeah, it feels good to get the compliments and all of that, but um, just don't take them to heart because I mean I know that sounds bad, right?

SPEAKER_00 26:09

It's honest um and people, you know, hype you up, and that's awesome. And like, okay, that's so good, but like you just because people say that you look good and you're gonna win and it's lights out, you you that doesn't mean because you just never know. So that that's what you mean, and I know what you mean.

SPEAKER_03 26:26

Like, you have just Yeah, I mean people have been hyping me up since my yeah, people have been hyping me up since my very first prep. They're like, you're gonna go pro. Like, my you know, they they everyone was telling me I was gonna go pro, like my second show. And guess what? I'm a second call out still, like three years later. Um like so just don't like everybody. I don't know if that's everyone's experience, if like everybody around everyone gets told things like that, but just keep it all in perspective, okay? Which I always do. Like I, you know, okay, yeah, we'll see, we'll see what happens, you know. Um it's great to go in there feeling confident, but like don't don't think it's there are no guarantees in this, okay?

SPEAKER_02 27:15

Yeah, I remember uh before Nashville, I was like, Yeah, you look so good. You're it's awesome. And she goes, We'll see. I'm like, period. Chris is like, that's the attitude to have because you're always like, we'll see. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 27:27

Yeah. I've been through this enough. I think Alex joked, or Alex and I were joking about something. Uh, he was like, I was like, yeah, I think I don't know, I'm just not very good at this or something. And he was like, or I don't know. He was like, yeah, I mean, we'll see. If you get like 11th at nationals, then we'll talk. I think he ate his words on that one because I got 10th. Okay. So yeah, let's talk. Like, we need something to change. Um, but uh, but yeah, anyways, I'm just saying don't get make sure you manage those expectations, okay? Because it is exciting, but like this sport is freaking cutthroat. It is hard, it is humbling, and you are not going to win every show. Everyone out there has been working just as hard as you, and everyone looks good, especially at like a a bigger show or a national level show. Everyone looks good. So just remember that. Like, even if you lose to these girls, well, they look freaking good too. You know, it's um so everyone's working, like it's not it, it doesn't mean it's over, just if you don't place the way you want, like you just gotta get back, get back out there, get back to work, um, get back in the gym, you know? So like that's one thing I wanted to make sure I touched on is like just like the compliments are nice, but it doesn't all these compliments from your friends and family don't mean anything when it comes to show day. Okay. So just remember the judges are seeing you for the first time. They don't know what you looked like before. They don't know anything about you. It's just how you perform for that two, three minutes when you're actually up on the stage. Yeah. Um is good, actually. And then like another thing I really wanted to talk about too was like kind of like I know my first season, I kind of fell into like I was a little too like obsessed with with this. Um like I got really into it. And it was just too much. Like it was just too much. I needed, and then like I realized like I need to get out of my own head. Like it's not that serious. I mean, at the end of the day, we're just like putting on bikinis to get on stage in front of some random people to, you know. Um, and sometimes like you need to take a step back and realize like it is not the end of the world. If you lose, like it's it's okay. Um, you don't need to like fall into some kind of black hole or like be like all bodybuilding all the time. Like you gotta get, you have to still have like a life outside of this. Um, because this is most likely not going to like turn in, like it's fun, but at the end of the day, it's a hobby, right? Um, and so just like try not to fall into that where like you and I know which luckily this never happened to me, but like I know people will even like cut out family members and cut out their friends and all, you know, all of this. It's like, don't do that, don't do that. It's not worth it. Um, it might feel like it's what you need to do in the moment, it's not like you can balance both. Um, and it can be hard to learn how, I guess, which is maybe why like my first season I was like so obsessed with bodybuilding, but I learned the hard way, I guess. Um my second season and like my third, I was like, all right, I'm getting out of my own head. Like I'm not thinking about this all the time. And that seemed to help. But yeah, I feel like this sport kind of attracts that type of people. It does are like super obsessive.

SPEAKER_00 31:23

And so yeah, I mean, because you kind of like it's hard because like you have to be, but there's a line, right? Like, okay, for example, you have to you do have to have a life outside of this. That's why it's so important for me at least to connect with my friends who aren't bodybuilders too, um, so I can hang do stuff with them, hang out with them. It's okay for me to go to lunch on the weekends with my mom. It's okay for Chris and I to go on a date, it's okay to do like normal things. Um, for example, this weekend is the J3U team workout. We're going to Nashville. Um, you think I'm gonna go to Nashville and I'm not gonna have a little fun? Bye. Saturday night, like I'm gonna go to a bar and have a little fun. Uh, yes, I'm in a deficit right now, but I am not in prep. Um, I'm in my bridal air, I'm gonna have fun. Like, I'm not just gonna be like, oh, well, I can't, because if I have one sip of alcohol, everything is ruined and my deficit is ruined. Like, it will be okay. Like, it's not like I'm gonna binge drink and do this for several days. Like, I don't go to Nashville all the time, so I'm gonna do it. And so you have to realize that at the end of the day, bodybuilding, and I say this all the time, is something that you do not who you are. Okay, even the people at the top of the sport, they like they have a life outside of this. Like, I see some of them and they're like going on trips. Um, some of these people they amaze me, they'll be like top Olympians intuitively eating till they're like 16 weeks out from the O and they die it and they kill it. I mean, like Ashley K Lorely, they be they live life. Yes, they're locked in, but they also live their life, and so don't numb out like you know, your relationships and your family and your children for bodybuilding because it's not gonna last forever. Even the people at the top, they retire, but like it for everyone, it's just gonna be the NPC, or maybe you get your pro card and like you don't ever do well again, like you never know. So, like, just it's a hobby. Don't let it like ruin your life and take over relationships, like it's not worth it over calories and food and a physique. It just it's so not worth it, in my opinion. Like, and you know, it's easy to fall into the trap because everyone's like, you have to be obsessed, and you have to be if you're not crazy, like it's not gonna work. Like, no, please sit down. The mo the time when I stopped being a freak, a crazy control freak about it, I did better. I it's it's crazy how that works. Now I'm this uh and Chris helps me so much with that, honestly, because he's one of those people who's like gonna live his life. Like this past like um off season, but my also your coach matters and makes a huge difference in that. Like Alex is always like, please have fun and do this, and like you deserve this, whatever. But like this past offseason, you know, I've lived my life more than ever, and I look I literally look better than I ever have, which is mind-boggling to me. When I was like obsessed freak, do like just being crazy. No, and now training is great, like I look good, body comp is good, I feel good, like it's you know, you just have to, there's a line. So I'm glad you brought that up.

SPEAKER_03 34:23

That is yeah, yeah, I agree. I finally like uh this like ever since my last show, I've kind of like tried to relax a little bit more, and it just feels like so much more normal. Like, I'm like, cause I one thing for me is like I'll put a lot of pressure on myself in the gym, and like I would feel like I have to go in the gym and like kill this freaking workout every single day, like, or else I'm gonna fall behind. Like, I was so worried, like I wasn't gonna keep up with all with everyone else in bikini, which guess what? I didn't keep up anyway. So I tried to, I put all that pressure on myself and they still passed me and I still don't, I still am way behind where I needed to be. So it didn't even matter. Like all of that pressure I put on myself for the last couple of years, every single day in the gym, didn't even matter because it didn't like, and so so now I'm like, look, like I I'm like, if my kid has uh is sick or if they have a game or a field trip or something like that, I'll just rearrange my workout and like it's okay. If I work out at night and I and I don't have like a killer session because I usually work out earlier in the day, like it's fine. I'll have like more of a maintenance workout, and guess what? It's gonna be okay. Like it's not gonna, it's not gonna derail me. Okay, at least I'm still showing up and it doesn't.

SPEAKER_00 35:53

Wow, that was good because that recently, like um, wow, that was so good. Like, cause I have had times where it's like I've had a long day at work, so I have to go lift really late, and like I'm like, oh my god, I wasn't absolutely like on the floor dead, and I didn't PR and everything. Like, it's okay. As long as you're training hard and still lifting, it is okay. Like, you have to realize that, like, and even if you do that, like you said, it doesn't, hey, people can still pass you anyways. For example, I you know, it doesn't matter, you it still could just like not work out, and so you know, you that's why you have to, to me, have to have something else outside of this, and you have to be very open-minded, and you have to be mentally tough. That is one thing I want to emphasize is you have to be mentally tough to do this sport, and this is coming from someone who's been an athlete their whole life and thought they were like the toughest thing ever, and then they did bodybuilding, and I got humbled. Okay, like you can put your all into this, and it doesn't, you can still be dead last, okay? You can do every single thing to the millimeter, not miss a mark, and it still could not be enough, and you still could come up short. So you have to have a why at the end of the day, and you have to understand that the work you put in is enough, and the work is the reward, and being able to push yourself to that level and hold yourself to a high standard is the reward because it won't always be a trophy, a medal, a pro card. That's so important.

SPEAKER_03 37:15

Absolutely a hundred percent, yeah, spot on. Um, and like you might not get that medal. Like, I feel like I've been a little bit negative, but I joke about it, you know, but it's facts, right? Those are the facts. Um, but like the other day I looked at, I was going back through some of my old posts and I saw one and it was like from three, four years ago, like before I had started with my like right before I started with a real coach. And it was like, I I felt I remember posting that picture. It was like a physique pick and and I felt so proud. Like I couldn't believe I looked like that. Like I and at the time I I did look great, right? I had or just had three kids, like I looked awesome. But now I was like, holy shit, like I was this is what I look like now. Like there's not my like the comparison is insane from I thought I looked good then and look at me now. Like what even happened? Because now I'm like jacked with all this muscle. I was just like a skinny mom back then. And um, and so like, yeah, you might not get the medal or the pro card, but like you can still make lasting changes um that do matter, you know, and outside of the physical, like the changes on the you know, inside of me are even greater, like just with all the confidence I've built through this. Um, and you can't put a price tag or a medal on that.

SPEAKER_00 38:56

Yeah, then that's the thing too, is I want to say that I have become an overall better person and better woman because of bodybuilding, and I know that I can do anything and it and I know that no matter what, I can show up for myself. So it's not just about winning and that kind of thing because it makes you a better person and you realize how strong you are, how you know hardcore you are, and it's worth it. Like you said, you can't put a price title on that. Like, I feel like both of us are very confident, and for me at least, bodybuilding has a a huge role in that because I think I've always been kind of confident, but bodybuilding has made me even more confident. Like, for example, I'll post something on the internet. I don't care if people say something, like if I end up on Reddit, I'm like, oh yay, I'm in T. Like, let's open it up and let's see, it's awesome. Um, like it just makes you confident, and like it in this like day in this society, confident women are hard to come by, and like you can build a lot of confidence um from this. Um, so do you want to get into like you know, your first show, show day, like what to expect, that kind of thing?

SPEAKER_03 39:57

Um, sure. Yeah, my first show was awesome. I had a great, a great show day. Like my hair and makeup was on point. Uh Tan was on point. Man, I looked so good that like that was like the my Cinderella day where like everything went perfect. And I wish that I would have known it was never all gonna go perfect again. Um, it was like an awesome first show. Uh yeah, it the one thing that stuck out to me was like it went really fast, like as far as pre-judging goes. Like I didn't know it was gonna be like so fast backstage, getting out there and then it's all over, you know, and you just wait for finals. So I wasn't prepared for that. Um didn't really know like how the yeah, it went fast. Didn't really know like how the pump up and all that was gonna be. But I will say, like going out on stage, like stepping out on stage the very first time, I was not that was the least nervous I've ever been in any of my shows. I've done seven shows now, and that one, I just walked right out. Like, and I I didn't have to calm my nerves or anything. I was so confident and I I don't know why. I think like after that, it was almost like every show after that, I knew what to expect. And so I was more nervous because I knew what I was about to go do. Um, but that first one, man, I just walked right out on stage, like ready to go. Um I've kind of figured it out now. Um, I didn't shake or anything in that show. Like I said, I was super calm. But then and in a couple shows later, like my next three shows, I did shake on stage. Like that's something that happens to me when I'm very nervous, you know? And I think it happens to a lot of people. And then it's like you get in your head, like, oh, I'm so worried, I'm gonna shake that, and then you do shake because you're nervous. But then I finally figured out my last two shows, how to calm those nerves. And for me, it's just a matter of not thinking about what I'm going to do at all. Like every time I think about, like at Nationals, for example, like every time I think about stepping out on stage, I would just tell myself, I'm about to go home and cook bake Christmas cookies with my kids, or I'm about to go eat a pizza. And those were like the only two things I was thinking about. I wasn't thinking about my posing, I wasn't thinking about standing up on stage because I knew if I kept my mind off of it, then I wouldn't have I could control those nervous shakes and jitters, but yeah. But my first show, I didn't have any of that.

SPEAKER_00 42:39

Yeah, my first show was so fun, and like I didn't really know what to expect, and it went really well. Like it just it flew by. Um, and then I guess I wish I wouldn't have stressed as much and just kind of enjoyed the moment. I was nervous and I did like stumble on stage, but you couldn't really tell, thankfully. But just go into it and enjoy the day and like the little things, like your makeup and like your suit, and like you know, I don't know, make friends backstage and just like you know, enjoy the moment because it flies by. Um, but it's such a fun thing, and that's the day where all your hard work pays off. So don't be so focused on center spot and first call-outs, and you know, being in the middle. I know that's important, I know that's what everybody wants, but enjoy the moment, enjoy the day, and just be present and just be proud of yourself. Like, you know, you did it, you made it to stage. Um one thing I wish I would have done too, uh, is just like manage expectations. Like, you know, a lot of people they don't win their first show, and you're not a loser because you don't win your first show or because you don't do well. This is a hard sport, and it's subjective. That's one thing that's like you could literally truly look awesome, and maybe even in some ways look somewhat better than the winner, but it's subjective because every judge they want whatever they want that day, and so don't think that you're a loser or you suck, or you're not good enough because you didn't do well, because that's not how it works at all. Bodybuilding is so. Insane, like for example, look, Lorelie wasn't even top at the Olympia, and like it flips around so fast, and you just you can't let that bring you down or break your spirit. Like, you just have to be proud of yourself and the work that you put in. Because, like, we've been saying, this is a cutthroat sport, and it's so subjective. But I wish I would have just like been more present and enjoyed it instead of like you know being stressy and nervous. But um, it's fun, okay. Show day's fun, and you do all that work for that one day, and it goes by so fast, like it goes by so fast, except for finals at long shows when you're waiting to go eat. But that's a story for another.

SPEAKER_03 44:39

Yeah. One thing to remember too, I always think about this is like there's only one person who walks away from the show feeling like they won. And that's the overall winner. And so you are not alone. If you lose, everybody else just feels like they lost. Even if they won their class, but they didn't win the overall, they probably feel like they lost. They're probably leaving that show feeling like they lost. And so you're not alone. Um, more, there's a lot more people who are losing than winning. And just remember, only one person walks away with that overall trophy. So um, if you usually when I know I'm not gonna win, like, well, I'm gonna do something to make myself feel good today. Like, go eat my pizza or have whatever kind of treat you've been craving, or do something, you know.

SPEAKER_00 45:29

Yeah, that's yeah. And so yeah, you just it's a lot that goes into doing a bodybuilding show. And um, just I just really want to stress that please like don't be too hard on yourself and be proud of yourself for making it to show day. Cause seriously, like some people, you know, they drop out of their prep and they can't make it to their show. So just like, you know, be proud of yourself and be present because it's it's awesome to see it all come to fruition and getting on stage and like, you know, if you don't do well, well, hey, you can come, you know, improve for next time. Um, and because there's you know, it's not going extinct, like I keep saying. There's so many shows, and so enjoy it, soak it in because you know, it goes by so fast, and then boom, you're back in off season in the mundane, and then like there's no show for forever.

SPEAKER_03 46:17

Yeah, just try to have fun with it. Um, I always hated hearing people say that because I was like, what do you mean have fun? Don't you want to win? Like, I want to win. Yeah, literally, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 46:31

But it's hard to balance, like, it's just a different sport. Like, I don't know, like, God, and in some other sports, like eventually, like, I don't know, it's just it's they're not subjective, like it's just like athleticism or like I don't know. So it's just very different, especially if you're coming from a sport that's based on straight athleticism. It's like the subjectiveness of it is crazy. But I think girls who do pageants or have that kind of background, they actually do pretty well because it's pageants are subjective, but you know, track is not subjective. The first one to the finish line wins, and they, you know, and so this all this like subjective crap like is crazy to me because I'm like, I'm just used to as long as I get there first, nobody else matters. And as long as I keep training hard, I will get faster. And I can separate myself if I do this. Because in sports with athleticism, oh, it matters if you can, you know, get these um speed and agility trainers and do this, and instead of taking a summer off like every other college girl, you stay at school and you train and you do speed and agility and weight training and you get stronger, you'll pass those people because that's just how it works. You will get faster athleticism. Bodybuilding can't be like that, so you just have to be open-minded and yeah, you have to be tough, okay? Tough cookies. So, yeah. Yes, I think. Do you have anything else to do? Yeah, that was good.

SPEAKER_03 47:50

I think that was a good one.

SPEAKER_00 47:53

Yeah, it was a good episode, guys. Thank you so much for tuning in. This was so much fun to do. We love talking to you guys. Please comment down below or message us on Instagram with anything that we you want to hear. And so, bye. Thanks for listening.