COMPARISON IS THE THIEF OF JOY!

Welcome to PUMP TALK: THE GIRLS ROOM— Where Strength Meets Sisterhood 💪🏽

Hosted by Raven & Candice female bodybuilders, this podcast is all about breaking barriers, building muscle, and empowering women to embrace their strongest selves — inside and out.

Each episode dives deep into training, nutrition, mindset, and the realities of competing, while keeping it real about the ups, downs, and everything in between. Whether you’re stepping on stage, starting your fitness journey, or just looking for motivation, we’re here to educate, inspire, and remind you that women can do it all — and do it strong.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Welcome back to another episode of the Pump Talk The Girls Room. We're so excited to have you guys back for another episode. This week we're going to be talking about comparison culture in bodybuilding. And I think this is a great topic because with social media, that comes a lot of comparison and you know when you're backstage and all the things. And this is a great topic. I think it's something that everyone struggles with, including myself. And so just let's get started, I guess. We can start with like the fact that, you know, it's bodybuilding and you're being judged, right, by judges like with other competitors. So it's really hard not to compare yourself because it seems like the whole objective is you go on stage and you get compared to others. And so it can be really hard to like draw the line, but the thing is, like, they're not comparing like, oh, I like this girl better than the other. What they're comparing is the physiques on stage to the criteria of the division. So I wanted to start there and kind of clear that up because I know it's can be really confusing. It's like, well, if it's not about comparison, then why am I judged by a bunch of different girls? They're just trying to judge who has the best physique to meet the criteria that day. What do you think about that, Candace?

SPEAKER_01 1:14

Yeah, yeah, I think that's a good place to start because by entering ourselves into this world of competing, you're automatically asking for judgment and like you're opening yourself up to people's comments, you know, and and critiques and judgments. But at the end of the day, like the only people who are truly like comparing and judging should be the judges. And that's one day out of you know, years of a daily journey, um, and just a group of five people who don't know who you are, and they're literally just judging what you look like at that moment in time. So um that's just like one little part of it. Um, but like as far as comparing ourselves for the other 364 days of the year, I think that's where social media comes into play, right? Um, and that like it's a good thing and a bad thing, but um it is a huge part of bodybuilding, social media. Like I don't know any other sport where it's like social media is so prevalent. Um, and it's like you kind of feel like you have to join in on it to have a presence and just to kind of connect and like it, like I said, it can be a good thing too. But yeah, um, I guess as far as like whose opinion shouldn't matter, really, it just comes down to what the judges think on that one day, right?

SPEAKER_00 2:56

Yeah, yeah. And so that's the kind of thing where it's like if you're gonna sign up for bodybuilding, just know that like the whole point is not to compare yourself to others, just know you're just trying to meet the criteria. But it gets harder because prep isn't the only thing. Like, you see all these girls on social media, like you might be in off-season the same time as some girl you follow, and she might be growing faster than you, or she might be leaner than you, or you know, or you like it's and everyone's different, and you can't be so like obsessed about why you don't look like everyone else because you don't know what people are actually doing, you don't know what people are taking, you don't know what their circumstances are, you don't know what their genetics are. And bodybuilding is a sport where you know genetics matter, your environment matters, like if you played sports before this, your age, muscle maturity is a big thing, so you don't know anyone's background or story or their protocol. So comparing yourself to them isn't gonna get you any like more ahead. It's wasting your time. Like when you're sitting there worried about what this girl is doing and what you can do to be just like her because you want to be just like her, you could be dialing in and you know, locking into your plan. Like, there's no need. Like, I can sit here all day and look at all these wellness pros on Instagram and be like, dang man, I am still too small. This is not fair. I'm taking like a year off, like, and these girls are just massive and they'll take micro off seasons, but what that's gonna get me nowhere, okay? I am young in this sport, I just started, I'm still in my 20s, so therefore I still don't have all that muscle maturity that these girls have who are mid-30s, some of them are like 40, so they I can't compare myself. What's that gonna do? Who knows what they're doing and what like so? It's just a waste of my time, and it's like doing that is only gonna make me like lose my self-confidence, and your confidence should come from the fact that you put in the work every day and you did this for you, and like think about where you were when you started. Like, that girl would be so proud of where you are now, and so every time I get like in my head comparison, because I still do it, let's be real, we all do it. I just think about what I looked like last year at this weight, or what I looked like two years ago, or what I looked like before I started bodybuilding. And I I can't be mad because I'm making progress and I got better, and that's the point of bodybuilding.

SPEAKER_01 5:14

Yeah, yeah, a hundred percent. Um, I don't really understand the comparison thing because I have never like, yes, I have, like, I'm guilty of like my very first prep. I crop myself next to people because you don't know what you're gonna look like. Like, how are you gonna compare, right? That's the only time I ever did it. But like, even before I got into competing, like I've never looked at other people and been like, oh, I want to look like them. Like, I've never, I've never felt that way. And I don't feel that way now. Like, yeah, there's lots of people out there who look way better than me, physique-wise or criteria-wise, maybe, but I don't see them and wish that I looked like them. I see them and think, wow, that's super impressive, you know, they look great, like they're gonna do well or whatever. But I don't look at them and be like, oh, I wanna be them because I don't want to be them. I want to be myself. And like I think that kind of goes back to um like why did you get into this in the first place? Like, me personally, I I never cared about the way my body, like my physique was like, I didn't strive to have a bikini physique, to be honest. Like, I wasn't trying to change my body. I didn't get into it because of that. I got into it because I love the gym and I love training, and I wanted to learn more about food and that aspect of it. And then once I kind of, you know, got in that, oh, I was eating, and I had always been training, and and now it just seemed like the natural step, you know. I wanted to kind of push it further and like push myself and and challenge myself. And so I think for me, that's that's like one thing of like why I don't really compare or like I don't wish that I had someone else's body because like I like my own body. Um, but also that's another point. Like now, wellness is a little bit different, but like as far as like the kini and fit model go, those divisions are so subjective, and so many different body types can do well in them. So just because somebody else, you know, has a X inch waist and X inch glutes, like that doesn't mean that that's what's gonna look best on your body. So you don't even need to compare yourself because we all are individuals, and like you can look at different bikini winners and fit model winners, and they all have very different structures and different amounts of muscles based on you know their body type. And and so you really have to just worry about yourself and just worry, like you said, compare yourself to where you were at this time last year. I actually was doing that. So I might not compare myself to other people online, but I definitely do compare myself to my past and previous selves. Um and I think that's a much healthier way to go about it because usually you're gonna be making progress and you're gonna be like, oh, okay, like I I'm happy with this, you know? Um, or you might see like, dang, I thought my shoulders had grown more since then, but they really haven't. Maybe I need to change up my training or something like that. Um but yeah, as far as like comparing to other people, we are all so individual, and it's just doing yourself a disservice. And it's only, I just can't imagine any way where comparing yourself to other people is going to benefit you really in this. Um, I don't know, what do you think?

SPEAKER_00 8:50

Yeah, like it's not gonna get you anywhere, and you can sit there and do that all day and waste time, and that's the thing. It's like honestly, who cares what anyone else is doing and how they look? Like, that's it's not gonna do you any, it's just not gonna help you. It's a waste of time, and it's silly. I mean, and I a lot now all I do is compare myself to my how I used to look, like, especially now that I'm cutting. All I I'm excited about myself is myself, and I'm like, oh, this was me a month ago, like I look good, or this was me 15 months ago. Like, I'm just worried about beating my last package because, like we always say in almost every podcast, it don't matter how hard you work, you're not guaranteed to win. And so just because I'm sitting here improving doesn't mean I'm gonna win, right? And so at least I got better. At least I know that I'm growing and I'm gonna present a better physique last year or better physique next year than I had last year, and that's the whole point. And so you can't get tied up in who's doing what and what they look like and what they're doing because it's just gonna alter your mindset, your confidence, your process, and it can also alter the relationship with your coach. Like, it doesn't matter what other girls' coaches have them doing. Some people can get away with less cardio and get lean. Some girls need more food, more fats, they need different food to and different structure, different types of plants. Everyone is so different. Like, there's some pro bodybuilders that intuitively eat, they don't even follow a protocol until they're X weeks out from the O or something like that. I could not do that, I would look like trash and I'd be fat. So, like, we all can't like do that. It's not possible for us all to do that, and so you can't focus about on other people. So you can't really compare yourself to other people because, like I say, everyone needs a different plan, a different protocol, and like your body may not respond like those people's does. Like, I was saying, like, I cannot intuitively eat up until 10 to 12 weeks out. I'd be fat, uh, I would be really bad for me. I I need the structure of the meal, plan the macros, whatever. But there's some people that can do that and they'll still perform really well. Some people they don't need a lot of food to grow, they can grow on low carbs. Some people need insane amounts of food to grow. Some girls have to do a lot of cardio all year, or they will have higher body fat. Some people don't need like everyone's so different, and like you can't compare. You can't compare protocols, training, diet, none of that. This is silly because everyone's different. This is not like a one size fits all, like yeah. And especially when it comes to training, I feel like there's trends, and we had an episode in the beginning where we talked about glute training, and like you know, yes, there's a lot of trends and movements that everyone is liking, but you don't know if that's gonna work for you. For example, those Smith Machine Froggers, I don't get anything out of those, those do not work for me. Everyone does them, I see them on Instagram every single day. Do I care? No, because if I do those, I'm not gonna have my glutes that I have now. I'd be shaped like a refrigerator. I would not look how I look now. That does not work for me. Some people, it's great for them, it works out for them. But like you say, comparing yourself, uh, it's just like, what is the point? You are wonderfully made the way that you are. You have talents and gifts like everyone else. You're just as valuable. And just because you don't have a physique like this girl on Instagram, and you don't have those glutes and that waste does not mean you're not good enough.

SPEAKER_01 12:14

Yeah, yeah, for sure. That's so important. Um, and I think that goes into like they always say comparison's the thief of joy, and that's so true because like you might perceive, like let's say you're scrolling Instagram and you realize you have to do more cardio during your off season than someone else is doing. Um, and you might perceive that as a bad thing in your head, but it it doesn't have to be a bad thing. Just enjoy doing your cardio, you know. You don't know what else this other girl might be dealing with. She might have extra life stressors, or maybe she wants 20,000 steps a day at work, or maybe she's taking some stuff you don't know about. But just enjoy doing your 30 minutes of cardio, you know, and just say, hey, you know what, this is my 30 minutes a day. Where am I gonna watch my podcast or watch a show or whatever and just enjoy it and stop thinking that it's a bad thing because that's just what your body requires, and just let yourself enjoy the process, whatever, because everyone's process is individual to them. Um, so don't just think like, oh, like my life sucks because I have to do 35 minutes of cardio in my off season. Well, hey, but also maybe your shoulders are growing better than this other girl and she can't get her shoulders to grow. Like, there's so many different things. Um, and comparing yourself does nothing for you. Um, and and I think that also like because of that, because there are so many ways to do this whole bodybuilding journey, it's really important not to judge people. Um, I try not to, like I really try not to judge anyone based on like the way that they're executing their process um or their protocol, because I I know like we're all probably guilty of it in the beginning. You think, oh, that's stupid. This, you know, I why are they doing it that way? Like I they should be doing it this way, this is the way that works. But I think that everyone learns the longer that you're in this sport, then that there are so many ways to do it. And you really can't judge people because what you might think things that I thought um I thought were dumb two years ago, I'm doing them now. You know, it's working for me. So like jokes on me, right? Like just things to show you, like uh yeah, you really shouldn't judge people or um no, of course there are some things, especially when it comes to like drug protocols that I would say there are things you should never do, you know. But outside of that, like never say never.

SPEAKER_00 15:07

Yeah, like there that's a good one. There's so many things that I'm also doing that I was like, I would never do that crap. Like, I remember when I because I've been through so many coaches, when I was with a prior coach, I was like, you don't even need to put on that much weight to grow, there's no reason to do all that. Bye. I mean, some people, yeah, like there's a line, right? But I gained 30 pounds post show this past go around with Alex. It was the best thing for my physique. I don't even care. Like, and most of it was because I just had a good reverse. Like, I my I'm in my reverse, I switched as soon as I switched as soon as I had an issue, and then Alex reversed me well. He started feeding me like so much off the bat, and my food just kept increasing, and I was barely doing cardio, and I was training hard and I was happy. So I grew like a weed, and yes, some of it was body fat, of course, but a lot of it is muscle tissue because I'm noticing that in my cut where the scale does not want to move. It like it loves to be 140 pounds, but that's okay. But it's like I would have never thought that I would have gotten up to 152. I was that's insane for me. I have literally never in my life been over 145 pounds. So being 152, 153 was insane. But I would like, you know, you never think that that's gonna happen, and so you never know how things are gonna change and what's gonna happen. And like it's just no point in comparing yourself. And that's not what the sport is about, you know. Contrary to how it seems when you're on stage, it's about getting better and presenting the best physique, and so you have to do what's best for you and your physique, which is not gonna look like everyone else's. It's the same for dudes, like my fiance can he doesn't need to eat stupid amounts of food to grow. Like, yes, he's eating a lot, but there's some guys that are eating like I've seen 900 to a thousand carbs, like some people I've seen on Instagram. It's crazy, bro. He doesn't have to eat that much, and he grows really well. That just goes to show that everyone is different, and like you just don't know what everyone else what they're doing and what their coach has them doing, or if they're even following their plan. That's the thing. Like, so many people they present lies on social media, bro. Because I swear, I see some stuff and I'm like, this is so suspect. I just can't understand. I just don't see like people who are posting like tilapia and asparagus, they're eating that five times a day. I don't think so. I don't think that you are if you're not in prep, but whatever. But it's just like you don't know if they're lying, they could be lying. So many people just like don't follow their plan and they just lie. So why would you want to copy that? Like, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 17:33

You just uh yeah, yeah, there's a lot of liars out there for sure. And uh and like I don't really like when people like brag about their protocol or anything like that because um now if you just want to be like, oh, this prep is so much easier, I'm not having to do as much cardio as my last prep. Okay, sure, whatever. But like everyone's gonna get humbled eventually. Like I had a super easy first prep, and then I've had really, really hard preps, you know? So um, like just because something's working for you now might not work for you again. And just like how you said you gained 30 pounds post-show, like I've done that before to you, and it worked well for me this time around. I'm trying something new and it's working good for me too. And I'm I'm like not, you know, I'm up like 12 pounds, I think, from when I competed. And I'm and I am growing like in this way. So it all depends like where your body's at and what you need and what your goals are, you know? So um there's just there's so much to it. But another point um we can talk about is like how stupid it is to compare leading into a show because like online does not equal what you see on stage, and that also does not equal what the judges might be looking for that day.

SPEAKER_00 19:00

Yeah. So there you're because you'll see people on social media like, oh, they're so good, and then they don't do well because you never like you just like never know what the judges are gonna want that day, and even you know, wellness is not subjective at all, however, it can be because some judges they like the big mass monsters, some judges they don't like that at all, and the smaller girls will win all day, and so you just you never know what's gonna win, what's not gonna win. So it you just don't know, it's so subjective, and that's why bodybuilding, I love it because you you literally never know. Like someone I you see people on social media, like, oh my god, that girl looks great, and she's not even a first call out. It's like, what? Or uh yeah, or you see what wins, and you're like, huh? Like, so don't it's no point because you just never know what's gonna happen. It's like a roll in the dice every time, I swear. Even for the male divisions, like it's subjective, it's bodybuilding. So, like every judge wants different things, so like you just never know. So there's no point in getting wrapped up in that because that could look good. Yeah, and then what? She's last call outs, and then you all of a sudden you're not gonna want to look like that anymore, are you?

SPEAKER_01 20:06

Right. Do you even still want to look like them? That's so funny. Um, I've seen people on like what's the craziest thing you've seen? I've seen a girl who was like shredded on Instagram, like shredded, and then she was at my show and like she didn't even have abs. Like her stomach was like soft, like soft, soft. Not just like, oh, like some extra water. Like, no, it was like soft.

SPEAKER_00 20:35

Like that was crazy to me. People be at the gym with this crazy lighting. Like, I that's why it's like, yes, I will take pictures in goon lighting, but I'm also not afraid to have bad lighting, and you can see some cellulite and some rolls, and because people everyone looks different in that goon lighting. Like, I swear, it takes weight off of you, and you'll think you see someone on Instagram, then you'll see them in person, and you're like, huh? Like I see that all the time. Like, they look a certain way on Instagram and they get on stage, and I'm like, oh, that's the same girl. That does not look like that. And that's not me trying to be mean or throw shade, it's just honest. Like, people also Photoshop. Goob's always calling people out. People are like editing, there's filters, like it and people use AI to edit. Yeah, oh, AI, yeah. Chat GPT can do anything, like it can take like a real photo. Cause I saw this TikTok, and this girl made her waist six inches smaller, and she just looked like she had really dieted hard. Yeah, bro. I'm telling you, I don't trust what I see on social media anymore because I'll see people and then I'm like in person. I'm like, girl, you don't look like that. Like, so you really social media is just like a a a joke, honestly.

SPEAKER_01 21:47

That's one reason why I will never use a face filter. I don't ever use a face filter because the last thing I want is to see somebody in real life and think that my face is ugly, you know.

SPEAKER_00 22:00

Like, yeah, even like my little big eye and big mouth filter. You know the funny one I use. Oh, yeah, that's different.

SPEAKER_01 22:06

I mean, like the girls say you'll use like face like smoothers and the makeup and all that. Um, I don't use anything like that because I'm like, I don't want someone to see me in real life and think like, oh wow, that's what she looks like.

SPEAKER_00 22:20

Yeah, or like the filters where it gives you like Botox almost. Yeah, not anyways, because I don't wear a lot of makeup, so I will look like a catfish. Like how I look is how I look. I don't even care. Like, I am just not that I have never really cared about how I look. I leave the house half the time looking homeless. Chris will be like, What are you wearing? Like, you cannot wear that out. I'm like, Yes, I can. Who cares? Like, I do not care. I wore makeup, I only wear makeup like on special occasions. Like, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:52

I don't even wear makeup on special occasions. I wear eye makeup. I put on like eye makeup. Like, I went to a concert this past weekend, like a big, like fun concert, gotten all dressed up, bought a whole new outfit. I did not put on makeup. I put on eye makeup and lipstick, no face makeup at all. Oh, yes. I can't do that. I ain't doing that. Oh no. No, I might for your wedding, I will.

SPEAKER_00 23:13

For your wedding, yeah, like and I don't honestly. I like for shows and like wedding, okay, engagement photos, like makeup, yes, but I don't care for anything else. I'm not wearing it. And if I didn't have to, I would not be wearing a full face of makeup. Like on wedding day, I'm gonna have the most basic bare face. I don't like all that extra makeup. Definitely not show day makeup. That stuff is the worst.

SPEAKER_01 23:34

Yeah. Whenever I take my show day makeup off, I feel like myself again. And I'm like, okay, I think I like this better.

SPEAKER_00 23:42

Like, yeah, I love the show day. It's like good for like show day, but I couldn't, I couldn't do it. Like, some people wear full faces like that and they'd be going places. I can't do that. I don't have time for that. I hate, I will literally do mascara and some lip gloss, and that's what I'm gonna do. I don't know the last time I've done face makeup, I'll do like highlighter, but I can't do all that contour, found bro. I have no I don't even know how to do that.

SPEAKER_01 24:07

So do it either. Whenever I try to do it, I feel like I look worse than I do without makeup, so then I just take it off.

SPEAKER_00 24:15

Yeah, so it's like I just I don't know. So social media is hard because it it also gives you a false perception, and people only post the good and the highlights. That's the thing like that I remind myself. No one's just gonna post all the bad and all the bad things that's happening, and if they're having gut issues, or their weight is stalling, or they're inflamed, or they reverse bad, they're only posting the highlights and all the good stuff, like that it's a highlight reel for a reason. I mean, there's some people who post like real raw authentic stuff, but a lot of it is just a highlight reel. And sometimes they they're posting all this and they're not happy at all.

SPEAKER_01 24:56

Right. And I would like I recommend if you're ever on social media and like you realize that you're just not feeling good, like and that you it just is starting to make you feel bad. Just take a break. Like I do that all the time. You don't have to announce it because guess what? No one even notice you're gonna. Um, just like get off of social media for a couple days or for a couple weeks, and I guarantee you you're gonna start feeling better. And once you start feeling better, you can get back on. And just sometimes you just need a break. Like, or just mute that person. Like, I'm gonna, and it's not just related to bodybuilding either. Like, I remember I've seen people on before, like I started feeling like a bad mom because like I'm not making these little snack plates with triangle, you know, sandwiches and all of this for my and like cute little stuff for my kids every morning. And I'm like thinking I'm a bad mom. Like, and then I realized, like, okay, let me just get off and like, no, I'm I'm okay, I'm good, you know.

SPEAKER_00 26:01

These people are doing insane stuff. I follow a lot of like mom influencers, and I'm like, I don't know how the heck. There's just one lady, bro, she like wakes up at like 3 a.m. and is like making these perfect lunches for all six, six kids. I don't know how she's doing this every day. And then she's making like her husband's lunch, and then she's like going to Pilates at 5 a.m. and doing all this before like six. I'm like, bro, that what? It's just there people are doing some insane stuff, and so you just can't let it ball.

SPEAKER_01 26:31

And then she's probably looking at you and being like, dang, and how does she go to school and go bodybuilding, do this and that? Like, and she's thinking the same thing about you, right? So, like it goes both ways, and it's just like I said, it's a good thing and a bad thing. Like, social media can be really good, but it can also be really bad. And if if you ever find that you're feeling bad, I always just recommend like taking a break. Like, I'll straight up deactivate my account for three weeks or whatever, and just so I know people aren't getting left on, like, you know, sending me messages and I'm not responding, and I'll just take my page down and then I'll see y'all in three weeks when I feel better. Like sometimes you just need to live in the real world for a little bit.

SPEAKER_00 27:16

Yeah, and I I took a break from social media about like a couple months ago, and it was the nicest thing ever. It's just like so nice to just have a break. And like, I don't post as much as I used to like be like I have to post every day. I don't have to do anything, like, this is not a job. And so I post if I want to, I post if I don't. Some people are like, you don't post as much anymore, you don't do as much YouTube. I don't want to. Sometimes it's really exhausting, and like it's for fun. I don't want to make it like a chore. And then sometimes I just see what other people are posting, and I'm like, I don't have time, like I'm a bad and I quote influencer. Like, I'm not posting all this, I'm not doing all this, but bro, I'm busy, I have a lot of stuff going on. I don't, I can't, I literally can't, and I it's like whatever. Like, oh wow, well, these people have this many followers, and I don't. It's like that's so who cares? Like, I need to make sure that I'm happy in real life, not on social media, and I don't really care how what people think or see of me online, like half people don't like me anyways because I'm always telling someone all my story. So, like, I I'll never be like anyone else. Like, I don't care, like, I'm myself for a reason, and I'm like, so you oh well, like I'm happy the way that I am, and I don't really care about the other wellness pros. Like, yes, of course, they're massive, and I would love to be that massive, right? But I'm not doing any crazy stuff to get there, and like I don't know what they're doing, and like it doesn't matter. I'm happy that I've grown. At least I'm not gonna be 113 pounds on stage again. I know that for sure. At least, you know, I have a good coach now. There's just so many things that are better, and uh comparing myself to these other pros for what they've people some of these people have been competing for so many years, they just have time in the game, or they're older, or you know, they're taking all these extreme things I'm just not willing to do. So it's like you can only expect so much, and that's a lot of the things people don't realize in this sport is people are taking some crazy things, and um I think Damien from Pro Physiques posted us about that about how sometimes bikinis getting out of hand, and some people are just have no regard for their future for their health, and they're taking all these things. I'm telling you, some of these physiques that you see it's not natural, and people are doing like so. If you're like a natural athlete or any like you can't compare yourself because you just don't know what people are doing and taking, like you'd be surprised some of the things people are taking, and girls at that, like you'd be like, So you really can't compare yourself, like you you just don't know what they're doing, what they're taking at the end of the day, and that's the main thing with it. Especially if you're willing to do it, like so just have fun with it. Don't let social media ruin bodybuilding for you. It's not worth it, and like it's just not it's not that deep. Like, it's just it's like a fun outlet, like it's not that deep, and like okay. Like, remember when TikTok went down, then what did everybody do? So, what if Instagram goes down? Then what? Nothing matters, like no one would know how anyone would look, and we would just show up. Honestly, that would be cool if there was no social media and you just like went to shows, you don't know who's going what people look like, you don't know. I bet everything would be a lot smoother if there was no social media.

SPEAKER_01 30:18

It would make it more interesting for sure. I know. Yeah, yeah, it's um there's so many factors, and like just enjoy your own process. Like, like I know, like personally for me, like there's a lot of stuff that I am not willing to do. Like, and then and I've accepted that along the way getting into this. I was like, look, like these are like things that I'm not willing to do. And if I can only reach however far I can reach, and then I just have to accept it, you know, and and maybe I won't be able to be a pro one day or or whatever, but I'll just accept that because I did the best I could with what I have with the limits I set on myself. And um, but it doesn't mean I can't have fun along the way and enjoy it, you know? Like I can. Maybe I won't and I can still see progress too. It's just gonna be at my own rate. Like the most, like just take your time. I mean, you know, what's the rush?

SPEAKER_00 31:23

Exactly. Like, there's there's no rush. It doesn't like there's literally no rush, and you never know what you know. Some people they do this sport, they turn pro, some people don't, some people go to the Olympia, some people don't, and like you just like never know. Like, like I say, I who who knows how far I'll go because kind of like you, I'm not willing to do crazy stuff because I'm I just don't want to. And so I may not ever go to the Olympia, and that's okay. Like, that's not what I'm doing this for. I'm enjoying my process and I'm getting better, and I have nice I don't even care. Honestly, like I'm excited to debut next year because I've grown, but I I love my legs right now, and nothing can break my like kill my vibe about that. My legs got so big, like everywhere I go, people like, oh, your legs are so nice, and I I love my legs and my glutes, so I'm happy. I don't really care if the judges don't like it. Well, I I tried, like I really did. I took the time off and I did what I was supposed to do. So, like at the end of the day, what can you do? You can't be mad and like because you it just it might not be good enough. There's a chance, just like there's a chance that I could do very well, there's a chance that I could do very bad, and the judges don't like me, and I have to be okay with that. And I won't compare myself to the other girls who were, oh, they just turned pro and they immediately debuted and they went, and I didn't. Well, that's not gonna help me at all. Because like it just it's not worth it. And I used to be a comparing girl, and that's all I would do. I needed to get a life, and I'm much happier when I don't do that, and I'm not really worried about anyone else. Like, that's cool, you don't have to do cardio in off-season. Cool, I do, but I like to do my cardio in off-season because that means I can I love to read and I can read my book, and because I don't have time because I'm always working or school or something. So I love my cardio because I can read my book or I can watch Netflix. So even when it was 45 minutes, I was like, Oh, thank god, that's 45 minutes in Netflix, that's four, that's 45 minutes of a book. Like, that's peace. I don't care. Um, so think of it like Candace said, like that. Make some fun out of it. Steps, okay. Like, I don't know. It's fun, it's nice outside. Go walk your dog, find joy in the process. Like, it's not worth like getting mad that you have to do this and things like that. And like anyone, I don't like cardio, but I like that it gives me something to do while I'm doing it. And it could be worse. I could have to do an hour of cardio to keep my health in the off season. Some people have to do that, and so comparing myself for what? What's it gonna do? All it's doing is wasting time. The judges said grow. So the time I'm worried about what all these girls look like, I'm sorry, my dog. The time I'm worried about what everyone else is doing, I'm just wasting time. I time is precious, time flies, like it's already dude, it's almost May. It's already almost May, okay? And I started off season in like September, like it's crazy to think about it. Time flies, so I'm wasting my time comparing myself. Boom, that's like muscle tissue. That's how I see it. So I just don't even worry about it. Social media, it's fake, it's like a joke. Chris tells me that all the time. Because even now, sometimes I'll see people and I'm like, oh man, and he's like, dude, why do you care? It's social media, it's a joke. And I'm like, Yeah, it's a joke, like whatever. And that helps me because I could care less.

SPEAKER_01 34:33

Just remember how many times you took that picture in the mirror before you found the one that you liked, you know? That's what everyone's doing, okay? Just enjoy, just enjoy your own process. Um, try to try to make it fun for yourself, and that's all you can do, you know? And think about how lucky you are. Like, I was just thinking today, like, dang, I'm pretty lucky to get to eat five meals a freaking day, like of good food, because I didn't used to eat this much food. Like, and my and other people might see my food and think like other bodybuilder people might see my food and think, oh, that's not even a lot of food. But you know what? Before I started bodybuilding, I was eating like a protein bar for breakfast and like a little microwave meal for lunch. Like, I didn't need nice meals. Like, dang, I gotta eat five meals that taste good. Like, that's pretty cool. And I still gotta look good. Like, that's pretty cool because I know I was at my kids' school today, and like I know a lot of the other moms there probably don't know how to eat like that, or you know, know how you can. That's how I always felt before was like you didn't know you thought like to be skinny, you thought you had to not eat, right? But like you can actually eat a lot of freaking food. Maybe it's lower calories, yeah, you know, vegetables, fruits, whatever, protein, but like you can eat a lot of food and like enjoy it and still be in really good shape. Like, and that's just cool itself, you know?

SPEAKER_00 36:14

Yeah, it's awesome. Like my coworkers, like we'll have every two weeks we have like this meeting, it's like four hours long. So that's two meals for me. Sometimes if I am about to go train after three, and they're like, How are you eating you're eating like so much food and like you look so good and you're so like little, and I'm like, well, I they mean little as in skinny. Yeah, I have to remind myself they don't mean that I'm like not jazz. So I'm always like, Yeah, well, I mean, I'm feeling my body with the right stuff, but I love it. Like, you can eat all this food and you still look good. Like, I I think it's awesome. And you know, think about things like there's people starving out here, they wish they could eat five times a day, and and some people they wish they had the money to go to the gym, they wish they had the money to bodybuild, to pay a coach, all of this. So you're blessed to do this. It's a privilege. We pay to do this. I want to stress it's not free. We pay to do this, it is a privilege, and so enjoy it. Don't do something that you hate and you resent because you don't look like everyone else, and you're not getting the same results as everyone else, and they're doing this, and you're not, it's not worth it. Because, bro, like I say, we are paying to do this, don't waste your money and your time worried about other people.

SPEAKER_01 37:23

Just be happy, and like that's all you have to do is just decide you want to be happy and then just be happy. Like, that's it. That's it. There's nothing else to it. Just quit overthinking it and just decide, you know what? I'm gonna feel good about myself today, and I'm gonna be happy, and then you just do it.

SPEAKER_00 37:41

Yeah, it's a mindset, it really is. Because the other day I was being like so negative, and Chris was like, Stop saying that. If you think that, then you're gonna feel that way, and it's true, it really is. Like, you just stop being negative. Like, I decided this path. I as soon as I turned pro, I knew that it was a different ball game. I decided that I was not about to worry about all these other pro. I mean, because I'm just gonna be worried about people forever because they're just there's so many massive girls. What's the point? I don't care. I just am worried about Raven and being better than Raven was yesterday and taking it day by day and enjoying the process, not letting anything steal my joy, having fun in off-season. Like I'm loving every phase of bodybuilding. I don't really care what anyone else is doing, and so what the whatever it's work my plan is working, my protocol is working, so girl, whatever. So please do not let others on social media think that you're not good enough, you're not doing enough, and what you're doing is wrong because you just don't know what they're doing, and everyone's different. This is an individualized sport with individual protocols, and you know, it's you're amazing and a great athlete to be able to do this and to be able to prep and grow and do all these things, and you have so much discipline. Don't that and that's the win. There's the joy right there that you like care about yourself and work hard enough to be able to do this. So do not let social media take away the joy because this is a great sport that can make you realize how strong of a person you are, how great of a person you are. So it's just not worth it to let it all go away because of what you see online.

SPEAKER_01 39:14

100% totally agree.

SPEAKER_00 39:17

Okay, well, I think we pretty much hit everything. This was a great episode. I feel like, you know, you and I are very good about being confident and stuff like this, but it's just a good reminder for everybody. And so if you guys have any wrecks or things you want to hear about, message us and we'd love to talk about all the things. This was definitely a fun episode. So we will see you guys next week.