S1E6 "From Nurse To Advocate: Parenting Without Sight" w/ Jennifer Evans-Rice Pt 2

What happens when capability is judged before it’s understood? Jaye sits down for part 2 of her conversation with with Jennifer Evans Rice—a mom of three, registered nurse, and advocate who is losing her vision—to talk about parenting beyond sight, building real safety systems, and refusing pity that masks control. The conversation starts with a hard question about trust and childcare and opens into a masterclass on practical strategies, emotional resilience, and community that actually helps.

Jennifer breaks down the everyday tactics that make blind parenting work: orienting within a home, sound-forward games to track kids, bells and hair beads as location cues, and smart choices about spaces—gated parks, backyards, and jungle gyms she’s willing to climb right alongside her children. She’s candid about what changed when she lost vision as an adult, from driving and work to identity and agency, and how acceptance pushed her to innovate rather than outsource. If help is offered from solidarity, she embraces it; if it’s fueled by pity, she declines. That boundary is a lesson for every caregiver and ally.

We also get honest about how to ask sensitive questions without causing harm, how to build “sister mommy friend” networks across difference, and why overhelping can quietly undermine growth. Jennifer’s three-day rule for grief—feel it, then move on—anchors a powerful pledge to her daughters: their lives won’t be smaller because their mom is blind. Expect humor, warmth, and straight talk about body autonomy, safety, advocacy, and the Black mom magic that turns constraints into craft.

If this resonated, tap follow, share with a friend who needs the reminder, and leave a review to help more families find the show. Your support builds the kind of community where every mom’s capability is seen and respected.

Transcript

Part Two Setup And Challenge Question

Jaye Wilson 0:15

Hey girl, hey, it's your girl Jaye. Welcome to another episode of Melinated Mommy Talks the Podcast, where we are talking about and exploring all things within the Melinated Moms spectrum. If you listen to our last episode, then you know we have been learning so much about motherhood from the perspective of blindness in our conversation with Jennifer Evans Rice. Jennifer is a mom of three that has progressively lost her vision and is a registered nurse who is stepping into her advocacy bag by becoming a support person to help others who are losing their vision to transition and adapt. In part one, Jennifer told us how her vision declined faster during each pregnancy, but she has not let that stop her from building the family she and her husband planned for themselves. Talk about body autonomy. I know I'm inspired. I'm so excited to present part two of this conversation with y'all. In part two, Jennifer starts us off by asking me a very thought-provoking question. So go ahead and pull up your metaphorical seat, tap in, and enjoy part two of our conversation with Jennifer Evans Rice.

Jennifer Evans Rice 1:46

Alright, so I have a question for you, and you have to promise me that you're gonna answer honestly, okay?

Jaye Wilson 1:50

I'm gonna keep it real. 1,000%.

Jennifer Evans Rice 1:52

Cool. So me as a blind mom, right? I can't see a child but so far from me.

Jaye Wilson 1:59

Okay.

Jennifer Evans Rice 1:59

Right? But I am raising my own kids and they are very successful. They're, they're fine. They're not successful. Okay, let's start over.

Jaye Wilson 2:05

They're very alive.

Jennifer Evans Rice 2:06

They're alive.

Jaye Wilson 2:06

Yes. I like that.

Jennifer Evans Rice 2:07

I'm raising my own kids and they are safe and happy and such. Would you allow me to take care of your kids when your kids were younger?

Jaye Wilson 2:17

Okay, so I have some questions.

Jennifer Evans Rice 2:19

Okay, I got some answers.

Jaye Wilson 2:21

All right.

Trust, Safety, And Clear Boundaries

Jaye Wilson 2:22

So I feel like the short answer is no.

Jennifer Evans Rice 2:25

Okay, fair enough.

Jaye Wilson 2:26

And I think the, the, the long answer is no, because I don't know what you are capable of doing.

Jennifer Evans Rice 2:33

Right.

Jaye Wilson 2:34

Not incapable, but actually what you are capable of doing. So because I will have so many questions, I wouldn't be comfortable with that.

Jennifer Evans Rice 2:41

That makes sense. That totally makes sense. And so a lot of people would not feel comfortable with me or any blind person watching their child, especially a young child, because they don't know, right? You don't know what you don't know. And so you want this, the best thing for your child. You want your child to be safe. So your first instinct is like, oh yeah, I got this. We're good.

Jaye Wilson 3:01

Yeah.

Jennifer Evans Rice 3:02

In those moments, I'd probably come to you saying, okay, I can watch your child, right? In a safe environment in your home, because you know your home, your child knows your home. Your home should be childproof and such. So I'll come to your home, I'll watch your kids and make sure they're good. When I get there, orient me to your house. Where is the snacks? Where is the bathroom? Is your child potty trained? Know that I'm going to be talking to your child a lot so I can hear where they are as opposed to see where they are.

Jaye Wilson 3:29

Yeah.

Jennifer Evans Rice 3:29

So we're going to be talking a lot. We're going to be having dance parties. We're going to be having, we're going to be singing contests. One, for fun. But two, just so I can know where they are.

Jaye Wilson 3:38

Yeah.

Jennifer Evans Rice 3:38

Just so I can know that they are present in my surrounding. Um, know that I'm going to love on your kids. I'm going to touch them, right? I want to know that they don't have snot on their nose or whatnot, or they don't have sticky fingers from the pancakes we ate earlier and whatnot. So know that I'm using all the other senses that I have to make sure that your kids are as safe as if they were my kids.

Jaye Wilson 3:58

Yeah.

Jennifer Evans Rice 3:58

But I understand the first instinct is no, I want my kids to be okay. I want my kids to be safe. How are you going to make sure that you're safe?

Jaye Wilson 4:04

Yeah.

Jennifer Evans Rice 4:05

I promise you, and a lot of other blind moms would say the same from my experience, is that I am not going to take your child to an unsafe environment.

Jaye Wilson 4:13

Right.

Jennifer Evans Rice 4:13

If I know that I can't navigate it independently as a blind person, I'm not going to take your kid there.

Jaye Wilson 4:18

Yeah.

Jennifer Evans Rice 4:19

Because I'm just not going to do that. I'm not going to, you're not going to sue me. And no, not at all. And so it, it is a valid response, but I would tell that person, whoever that blind person is, to follow up and saying, I understand your fear. Let me tell you what I can do for your child or what my limits are.

Jaye Wilson 4:37

Yeah.

Jennifer Evans Rice 4:38

And just be honest about it.

Jaye Wilson 4:39

Yeah. I feel like two things came up for me. The first was I imagine when my two girls were young, when they were toddlers, and that silence.

Jennifer Evans Rice 4:51

Yeah.

Jaye Wilson 4:52

And yeah, you already know what I'm talking about, right? So like you'll, you'll hear the kids, yah! And then all of a sudden nothing.

Jennifer Evans Rice 5:00

And that's when I start talking.

Jaye Wilson 5:01

Right.

Jennifer Evans Rice 5:02

We're gonna start talking, we're gonna start singing. I'm gonna play some type of game. So

Tactics For Tracking Kids Without Sight

Jennifer Evans Rice 5:05

what I do with my kids when we go to the playground, we are doing different like animal sounds or whatnot. So, all right, you're gonna be a bunny, go hop around as a bunny. And if I can't hear you, I was like, all right, bunny, where you at? I need you to hop back over to me. Another thing that we do is put bells on the kids. Or you know, a lot of African-American young girls have beads in their hair. I can hear the beads. Go run around, do what you gotta do. I can hear your beads.

Jaye Wilson 5:28

I knew they were useful for something.

Jennifer Evans Rice 5:29

Exactly. Them beads are golden. My girls have beads all the time. That's how I know where they are. There's something else. It's called squeakers. So you put, these are types of shoes that you have for toddlers. It's supposed to teach the child how to walk heel toe. But for a blind mom, I just put the squeakers on you so I can hear it squeak and I can know where you are. So there's all these different ways of just knowing where your child is or um or where they are on the playground. And of course, it's teaching them stranger danger. This is the playground. You do not go over this banister to run into this street or whatnot. But again, if I don't, I will do that with my kids because my kids, they know this is the playground, do not run off, do not go with strangers. If I don't know if your kid knows stranger danger, I'm not gonna take them to that, to the park. I'm not gonna, or at least not a uh an ungated park. I'm gonna make sure that they are safe and that they are okay. We're gonna go in the backyard because I know that you're gonna be there with your squeaker shoes and your your beads.

Jaye Wilson 6:24

I can literally like picture a kid running with beads and squeaky shoes and bells...

Jennifer Evans Rice 6:30

Just loud.

Jaye Wilson 6:30

...all at the same time. It's like {mimicking sounds of bells and squeakers].

Jennifer Evans Rice 6:31

Just loud. I know exactly where you are. You don't know why. So if you want to be silent, no problem. Though you move your head to the left, I can hear you because them beads are gonna be shaking.

Jaye Wilson 6:43

That's it.

Jennifer Evans Rice 6:44

Yep.

Jaye Wilson 6:45

All right, so yes, so my first thought was, you know, what happens when the kids go silent. But then my second thought is how do I politically, correctly tell you, you can't watch my kids because I don't know what you can do? Like what is the most, what is the best way for people to ask those questions that may feel a little uncomfortable to ask because they don't want to be offensive.

Jennifer Evans Rice 7:06

And that is hard in this day and age. I think we are all worried about offending the next person. I am a very open person, right? I'd rather you just say, hey, Jennifer, I don't know. With your blindness, I'm not sure how that would work. And I'll just explain to you kind of everything I just said of how I would make sure that your kids are safe from all the different senses that I have. For the next person who's blind, you have to know them. If they are a sensitive individual, then yeah, you want to kind of tailor how you say it and just say, you know, maybe it's not the best idea. Or just, you know, just don't tell them it's about the blindness. Just say, listen, you know, I change my plans. I'm gonna be okay with my kids. Everything's okay. You can come over with me with my kids. And that way you can see that blind person's interactions with your kid. That way the next time you can say, okay, I see that they're talking a lot to my kids to see where they are. I see that they are touching my kids a lot. Um, one other blind mom that I know, what she did was they went to the jungle gym. I can't see my kid in the jungle gym. So I'm gonna climb that jungle gym with my kid. I'm gonna be in the jungle gym going up and down the slide, and I might hurt afterwards and have some bengay or whatnot. But I'm gonna be in that jungle gym with the kid instead of just sitting on the, on the, on the bench. So you can invite that parent to be with you while you're taking care of your kid and see your, their interaction. So the next time you know whether you're comfortable or not comfortable with that individual. And that's not just blindness, that's just with any parent.

Jaye Wilson 8:27

Yeah.

Jennifer Evans Rice 8:28

Yeah.

Jaye Wilson 8:28

Thank you. Thank you for saying that too. Cause I think when we're thinking about this political correctness, there's so many things that we'll give grace to out of the thought that, oh, this, this mom has this, so this mom has that. But when it comes to, you know, these unique factors that we don't often get to see like on a regular basis...

Jennifer Evans Rice 8:48

Right.

Jaye Wilson 8:48

...now people are a little bit more shy about, you know, asking these same direct questions.

Jennifer Evans Rice 8:53

Yeah. They are.

Jaye Wilson 8:54

Right, so...

Jennifer Evans Rice 8:54

They are, yeah. And then I think with me going blind at, in my motherhood and having to learn these skills rapidly to make sure that my kids are safe and such, I feel like I am offering quite a bit because I, all of these things are fresh in my mind. It is hard being blind. I'm not gonna lie. It is, it is, it is hard sometimes. And I think it's harder being blind in your adulthood life rather than being blind when you are a child.

Jaye Wilson 9:19

Yeah, because you learn.

Jennifer Evans Rice 9:20

Yeah. So I grew up as a sighted individual. When you are born, everything is sighted. Everything you're, when you, they're, they're, when you go to the doctor, they're tracking, they're looking at you and they want to make sure that you are tracking their movement. That's sighted. When you are in a playpen and they put the mobile on top, that mobile is a sighted thing. So they're going to look at it. A child's gonna look at it and look around. One study shows that uh if you put a child who is blind in a playpen with a mobile and it has sound, they don't really know where that sound's coming from. Because they're a child, they can't process that yet. But if they are sighted, they understand that, that sound is associated with that movement and I like that movement, I like that sound. And so everything that we do from birth all the way, all the way to when we are elderly is all sighted. And so I was born sighted, completely 2020 vision and whatnot. I drove a car, I did everything a sighted person did up until a certain time, and then I went blind. Whereas other individuals, they were blind from the beginning. So I think their adjustment is different. I won't say it's easier, but it's different because they, they don't know what it is like to drive a car and then now not drive a car and then have your independence kind of taken away from you.

Jaye Wilson 10:36

Yeah.

Jennifer Evans Rice 10:37

They don't know what it's like to be able to have a job and be very successful at the job, but now either get fired or have to quit because you can no longer do that job.

Jaye Wilson 10:47

Yeah.

Jennifer Evans Rice 10:47

So it's very different kind of being blind as a child moving on to adulthood versus being an adult and then going blind. So for me, all of these resources are fresh in my brain. So if you want me to watch your kid, I'll watch your kid because I know ex everything in my brain that I've just learned over the past couple years. Um, whereas other individuals may have to go look up, like, well, you know, let me ask, how do you change your diaper if you're blind, if you're that person's blind? How do you know the person or the baby Peter pooped? How do you know that you cleaned it all up?

Jaye Wilson 11:19

With your hands.

Jennifer Evans Rice 11:20

Exactly. Exactly, exactly. But a lot of other people's like, I don't want to touch their

Asking Hard Questions Without Offense

Jennifer Evans Rice 11:26

poop. I'm using the the wet one to wipe it down. Well, when you're wiping it down and you're done, how do you know it's all gone?

Jaye Wilson 11:31

Right.

Jennifer Evans Rice 11:32

You touch it. You touch their butt.

Jaye Wilson 11:34

Yup. You have to touch it.

Jennifer Evans Rice 11:34

You gotta figure it out and whatnot. And so that's what I do with my kids. That's what I'll do with your kids. Yeah, it sounds weird that I'm gonna touch their butt, right? But I'm gonna make sure that they're clean and that they're okay and that they're safe. And I'm gonna use these different tactics and all the other senses uh to make sure that happens.

Jaye Wilson 11:48

We're gonna appropriately touch the butt.

Jennifer Evans Rice 11:50

Appropriately touch the butt.

Jaye Wilson 11:51

Appropriate butt touching.

Jennifer Evans Rice 11:52

Make sure there's no poop on the butt.

Jaye Wilson 11:53

Yes, yes, yes. No incorrect butt touching. We understand.

Jennifer Evans Rice 11:57

Yeah. I didn't think about that. Yes.

Jaye Wilson 12:02

So you actually brought up a really good point that I want to kind of dive into as well. So being that I didn't know, um, I know that you, you, we did talk about your diagnosis and you know, you progressively have lost your sight over time. Again, assumptions don't assume anything. For you to say like you, you've been independent, you've driven cars, you've been, lived on your own, you did all that stuff prior to going completely blind or um to the, to the point of where you are now.

Jennifer Evans Rice 12:28

Yeah.

Jaye Wilson 12:29

What did that look like with that transition, not just from losing a different sense of independence, but having to depend on other people for things that you were already able to do? What did that look like?

Jennifer Evans Rice 12:43

Short answer, I hate it.

Jaye Wilson 12:45

Okay.

Jennifer Evans Rice 12:45

I do not like depending on other people. I feel like people are flaky and they, they let you down and whatnot, and I don't like it.

Jaye Wilson 12:53

Yeah.

Jennifer Evans Rice 12:54

And so once I actually accepted my blindness, because it took me a long time to accept it. Once I accepted my blindness, I told myself, I'm not relying on nobody else. If you can't do it for me, I'm gonna figure out a way to do it for myself.

Jaye Wilson 13:05

Yeah.

Jennifer Evans Rice 13:06

Right? And so that's where I'm at now. I do not, I, I there are some things that I might have to ask someone to do. But if I get that little bit of, I don't really want to help her, I don't really want to go, I don't really want to drive her, I'm not asking you no more. I'm gonna figure it out myself. I'm gonna use my resources, I'm gonna be creative, I'm gonna be an octopus and just use all my different senses uh to figure it out. I'm gonna use all the resources that I have. So I, I do not like relying on other people. I much prefer just to do it myself, blind or not.

Jaye Wilson 13:36

So, how did that translate into preparing for pregnancy? Did you have the conversation beforehand with your doctor to say, like, look, we want to have a family. Um, what was that conversation like? Did they discourage you? Did they encourage you?

Jennifer Evans Rice 13:50

No, they, they, they didn't say anything actually. And I also think, you know, the the political tone, they, they, they can't tell me to or not to. They can't, they're, they're doctors, they, they, they do what doctors do. You want a baby, let's get you a baby.

Jaye Wilson 14:02

Yeah.

Jennifer Evans Rice 14:03

And so they didn't say anything, but you can always kind of tell when someone's like, you want to have a baby, but you're blind. So how's that gonna work? How are you gonna take care of the kid? Or even for me, my vision decreased every time I had a baby. And I've had three babies, so other than just normal decrease in my vision, my vision had a rapid decline after each pregnancy or after each birth. And so my husband actually asked me the other day for another child.

Jaye Wilson 14:31

Oh!

Jennifer Evans Rice 14:31

And other people are saying, don't have no more kids. You are borderline, like, can't see nothing. I still have some sight.

Jaye Wilson 14:37

Okay.

Jennifer Evans Rice 14:37

But they're saying if you have another kid, your vision's gonna go down even more. Why would you do that? And it, it honestly, it's none of their business, right? It's my family. I'm gonna make sure that they're okay.

Jaye Wilson 14:47

That's it.

Jennifer Evans Rice 14:48

Um, but to answer their questions because I want to. Because I want to have another kid, or I want to, oh actually, I don't. I don't want to have no more kids. But in that, in those moments, I wanted to have another kid.

Jaye Wilson 14:58

She's said, "Well..."

Jennifer Evans Rice 14:59

Let's rethink that. Um, so I think a lot of people will not tell me their real thought, but the silence that they give me when I am talking to them is enough for me to know that they are not on board. And for me, it's like they don't need to be on board. They're not living my life, they're not in my shoes. They can have their opinion, but they don't, I don't need to, I don't need to follow their opinion. I'm gonna tell you what's, what's going on. And at the end of the day, it's me and my husband's decision as for what we do with our household and our kids.

Jaye Wilson 15:31

How does that look for support though? I totally get it and I agree. Like, do the fuck what you want.

Jennifer Evans Rice 15:36

Exactly.

Jaye Wilson 15:37

That's it, right? That's it. That's literally the sentence. Do what the fuck you want.

Jennifer Evans Rice 15:40

Yes. I like that sentence.

Jaye Wilson 15:42

Yes. We're gonna put that on a t-shirt too.

Jennifer Evans Rice 15:43

Do it on a t shirt,

Jaye Wilson 15:44

Write it down William, we're gonna put it on a t-shirt. But when we're asking for support, because what I'm thinking may happen is instead of people thinking, okay, she's a mom with three kids who needs a babysitter, they're thinking, she's a blind mom with three kids that needs help and support. Like, well, you're the only one that has lost your sight. It doesn't mean that I did. Like, these are still the same three kids, right?

Jennifer Evans Rice 16:10

Right.

Jaye Wilson 16:10

Um, but does that impact the way that you ask for help or support from people?

Jennifer Evans Rice 16:14

Absolutely, absolutely. So if I feel like you are helping me because I'm a mom, not because I'm a blind mom, but just because I'm a mom of three kids and I only got two hands, then yes, I will accept your help. Let's do this. Let's tag team.

Jaye Wilson 16:24

Yeah.

Jennifer Evans Rice 16:25

But if I feel like you are overstepping or you are helping too much, you're trying to take over, or you're helping me out of pity or sympathy, I don't want it.

Jaye Wilson 16:34

Yeah.

Jennifer Evans Rice 16:34

Keep it to yourself.

Jaye Wilson 16:35

Yeah.

Jennifer Evans Rice 16:35

I was, again, I will do it by myself. I will figure it out.

Jaye Wilson 16:38

Yeah.

Jennifer Evans Rice 16:38

Um, the other day, my kids were on spring break. My husband's at work. You know, most people are working throughout the day. I had the baby on the front papoose, the front harness. I had my two kids in a wagon. Uh, and I live in Georgia. We have lots of hills. I am trucking up that hill with my three kids. We are going to the park. We're gonna have some fun.

Jaye Wilson 16:58

You better walk to them parking.

Jennifer Evans Rice 16:59

Right? That was my workout. I was, I was good. We went to the park, we had fun. I climbed the jungle gym with all three kids in the, the baby in the papoose. We had some fun. And then we walked back home with the wagon. I'm not gonna wait for the next person to give me a ride somewhere or figure it out. Or I'm, I'm gonna figure it out myself. So if you are helping me because you know I'm just a mom of multiple kids, cool, let's do this. But if you are helping me out of pity, I don't want it. Keep it to yourself. And I think that is hard for a lot of people because they want to help.

Jaye Wilson 17:32

Yeah.

Jennifer Evans Rice 17:32

And they do see me as pity and they overhelp. I don't. If I don't ask for your help, don't help me. I got this. I, I can figure it out. The more you help me, the more I don't get to do it for myself.

Jaye Wilson 17:45

Yeah.

Jennifer Evans Rice 17:45

And I don't get to figure it out, the more you hinder me. So the more you help me, the more you hinder me. The less you help me, the more I have to figure it out, and the better I'm gonna be at it the next time. And so a lot of people are just being nice and want to help. And I will cull, politely say, Don't help me. I got this. I'm okay. Don't worry about it.

Jaye Wilson 18:05

That's helpful.

Jennifer Evans Rice 18:06

Yeah.

Jaye Wilson 18:06

I think about it a lot because I, you know, Melinated Moms, clearly. Um, but there'll be so many moms who are afraid to go out and do things on their own because they feel like I'm by myself. People are gonna be looking at me weird. Or I don't know how to navigate this. I don't, I know.

Jennifer Evans Rice 18:23

Who cares what they think? Are they providing your meals? Are they giving you money? Are they um sexually pleasing you? No. Who cares?

Jaye Wilson 18:33

Not the orgasms. Okay.

Jennifer Evans Rice 18:35

I mean are they offering that?

Jaye Wilson 18:36

I love it. We came here.

Jennifer Evans Rice 18:38

Who cares?

Jaye Wilson 18:38

That's how the kids got here.

Jennifer Evans Rice 18:40

Exactly. That's it. Exactly. You are not providing my meals, you are not giving me money, and you

Losing Sight In Adulthood And Identity

Jennifer Evans Rice 18:45

are not sexing me down. Who cares?

Jaye Wilson 18:47

She said, You are not financing me, fucking me...

Jennifer Evans Rice 18:51

Nope.

Jaye Wilson 18:51

...or funding me.

Jennifer Evans Rice 18:53

Exactly. I said, who cares?

Jaye Wilson 18:59

Well, that's it.

Jennifer Evans Rice 19:01

There's that.

Jaye Wilson 19:01

There is that. There is that. There is that. I fucking love it. I fucking love it.

Jennifer Evans Rice 19:06

One thing I heard before is your perspective of me is not my problem.

Jaye Wilson 19:10

That's it.

Jennifer Evans Rice 19:10

Yeah.

Jaye Wilson 19:11

That's it.

Jennifer Evans Rice 19:11

Yeah, keep that to yourself.

Jaye Wilson 19:13

Oh my God. This is so good.

Jennifer Evans Rice 19:15

And so my network of support is small because l, everybody wants to help Jennifer. Because everybody pities Jennifer. And those people, I just don't call on them. I don't ask them for help because you are overly helping and it's annoying.

Jaye Wilson 19:28

Yeah.

Jennifer Evans Rice 19:28

But those individuals who are helping me just because, just because I'm a mom, for no other reason.

Jaye Wilson 19:33

Yeah.

Jennifer Evans Rice 19:33

Just because. Then yeah, come on. Let's, let's, your kids, my kids, all of our kids. Let's go. Let's figure it out.

Jaye Wilson 19:38

Mm-hmm.

Jennifer Evans Rice 19:38

Yeah.

Jaye Wilson 19:39

And I think that's important too, to really highlight with this entire, not just with this episode, but just with momming in, in general, right? When we're getting to know what I call sister mommy friends, when we're getting to know other moms, we have to look outside of those boxes of what does it look like for me to have a mom that I could depend on.

Jennifer Evans Rice 19:58

Absolutely.

Jaye Wilson 19:59

It's not just important for her to me, for her to look like me, but for her to share these different experiences and also share things that I may not experience, but I also want to know how I can support you.

Jennifer Evans Rice 20:11

Right.

Jaye Wilson 20:12

So to your point, like if I'm like, hey Jennifer, I'm in Georgia. Can I do anything? Can I help you out? Can I, you know what I mean? Like, I just want to know. But if you're like, yeah, girl, I'm good.

Jennifer Evans Rice 20:21

Yeah, leave it alone.

Jaye Wilson 20:22

I can't, I can't do nothing else about it. Right. But I, I wouldn't discount you as a mommy sister friend because I am not blind, right? Our commonality is our motherhood.

Jennifer Evans Rice 20:33

Exactly. And so let's just stick to that. Let's stick to what we have in common.

Jaye Wilson 20:37

Yeah.

Jennifer Evans Rice 20:37

And then what we have as different, let's talk about it. And let's, your different is different from my different. And then we can come together with these two differences and figure out there are similarities in there somewhere.

Jaye Wilson 20:47

It is.

Jennifer Evans Rice 20:47

Yeah. So I'm a blind individual. Obviously, we're doing this podcast about me being blind. And so my kids might do something and I might be looking straight at them and I don't know. Your kids might be doing something, but your head is turned and they're behind you. You don't know. That's a commonality.

Jaye Wilson 21:01

Yes.

Jennifer Evans Rice 21:01

Right?

Jaye Wilson 21:01

Yes.

Jennifer Evans Rice 21:02

It's different.

Jaye Wilson 21:02

Neither one of us saw it.

Jennifer Evans Rice 21:03

Exactly. Neither one of us saw it but it happened. It happened. Exactly. But one thing as a mom, and then me as a blind mom, we got really good hearing.

Jaye Wilson 21:11

Yes, ma'am.

Jennifer Evans Rice 21:12

You might be able to do something right in front of my face, but I can hear you. You might be doing something right in front of your back, or right in front of your back. That makes no sense. Right behind you, but you can hear it, right? And so let's find that commonality in our differences.

Jaye Wilson 21:27

Yeah. Yeah. I remember I used to always tell my kids, like, don't think just because I'm not in the room, I can't see you.

Jennifer Evans Rice 21:33

Exactly. I got eyes everywhere.

Jaye Wilson 21:34

Yes.

Jennifer Evans Rice 21:35

My eyes don't work, but everyone else's eyes, all these other eyes, these walls got eyes. I can see you. I know what you're doing.

Jaye Wilson 21:42

That's it.

Jennifer Evans Rice 21:42

Yes.

Jaye Wilson 21:43

That's the, that's the, that's the one. That's the one right there.

Jennifer Evans Rice 21:46

The walls got eyes. I know what you're doing.

Jaye Wilson 21:49

The walls got eyes. Oh my God. That's so awesome.

Jennifer Evans Rice 21:52

Absolutely.

Jaye Wilson 21:53

That is so awesome.

Jennifer Evans Rice 21:54

You can't get away from me. I produced you. You stuck.

Jaye Wilson 21:58

That's it. And we welcome you. That's it. You're here now.

Jennifer Evans Rice 22:02

Exactly.

Jaye Wilson 22:03

Jumped in. Gang gang.

Jennifer Evans Rice 22:04

Let's do this.

Jaye Wilson 22:04

Listen, we, we need this space.

Jennifer Evans Rice 22:07

Absolutely.

Jaye Wilson 22:08

We need the space to have these conversations.

Jennifer Evans Rice 22:10

Yeah.

Jaye Wilson 22:10

And what I'm hearing also is not just about your blindness. It's, it's really showing people like limitations are only the ones that we put on ourselves.

Jennifer Evans Rice 22:19

Yeah.

Jaye Wilson 22:19

Right? So...

Jennifer Evans Rice 22:20

Exactly.

Jaye Wilson 22:20

The things that I can't see literally and figuratively does not stop me from still pursuing my goals.

Jennifer Evans Rice 22:26

Exactly.

Jaye Wilson 22:27

Right?

Jennifer Evans Rice 22:27

Yeah.

Jaye Wilson 22:27

You are a mom, you are a wife, you are a registered nurse, you're in grad school, you navigating kids up and down hills. That's some amazing shit.

Jennifer Evans Rice 22:36

Absolutely.

Jaye Wilson 22:37

It is.

Jennifer Evans Rice 22:38

Yeah.

Jaye Wilson 22:38

It really, really is.

Jennifer Evans Rice 22:39

I'm a firm believer. Do not sit down and do nothing.

Jaye Wilson 22:42

That's it.

Jennifer Evans Rice 22:42

Have a pity party. So another thing that I'm going to reference is you know, God rose on the third day. God rose on the third day. So I'm going to give you three days of a pity party, right? After that, you need to get up.

Jaye Wilson 22:54

Get your ass up.

Jennifer Evans Rice 22:55

Figure it out.

Jaye Wilson 22:55

Get up.

Jennifer Evans Rice 22:56

Let's go.

Jaye Wilson 22:56

Get on up.

Jennifer Evans Rice 22:57

Yep. That's it. We're done. Let's get.

Jaye Wilson 22:59

That's it.

Jennifer Evans Rice 23:00

Yeah.

Jaye Wilson 23:00

She said, resurrect like Jesus.

Jennifer Evans Rice 23:02

Resurrect exactly. I like it. Just like he showed us the way. Let's follow his lead.

Jaye Wilson 23:08

That's it.

Jennifer Evans Rice 23:08

Three days, you can lay down and cry and snot coming at your nose. Do what you want. After that third day, figure it out.

Jaye Wilson 23:15

That's it.

Jennifer Evans Rice 23:16

Yeah.

Jaye Wilson 23:17

Wake it up.

Jennifer Evans Rice 23:18

My best friend says that I uh, my um, my um, my empathy tank, my sympathy tank is just, it's very low. Very, very, very low. I'm not that good at sympathizing, whatnot. I will look at you. Yes, that's hard. You're going through a hard time, but okay, what are you gonna do about it? How are we gonna figure this out? Cry to, cry today, but tomorrow I'm gonna come back and we're gonna figure this out.

Jaye Wilson 23:38

Yeah.

Jennifer Evans Rice 23:38

Yeah.

Jaye Wilson 23:39

So before we wrap everything up, um, we love to end with a pledge.

Jennifer Evans Rice 23:43

Yes.

Jaye Wilson 23:44

Right? So this pledge is just a personal commitment that you would like to give to yourself and to other people who are gonna be inspired by this story. So is there anything that you would like to pledge today?

Jennifer Evans Rice 23:55

I want to pledge to my three girls that I promise you your lives are not gonna be anything different than if you had a sighted mom. You are not going to miss out on anything. I'm gonna do the best that I can with my resources and my community and the people who are standing with me to make sure that you have the most positive life and become

Independence, Support, And Overhelping

Jennifer Evans Rice 24:15

the best person that you can be. You are not going to be held back because of my disability. I am not going to be held back because of my disability. So I am going to be pledging to you that when you get to whatever age, that you are proud of me because I did not sit down and just take it. I, I moved forward and I moved past it.

Jaye Wilson 24:34

Girl, I'm over here in tears.

Jennifer Evans Rice 24:36

Oh.

Jaye Wilson 24:36

Oh my gosh. Thank you.

Jennifer Evans Rice 24:42

Absolutely.

Jaye Wilson 24:43

Oh my gosh. And I pledge to continue to create these spaces where voices like yours can continue to thrive.

Jennifer Evans Rice 24:51

So important.

Jaye Wilson 24:52

And we're not just living in that survival space. So thank you again for literally like changing the world with your voice and just by being in it.

Jennifer Evans Rice 24:59

Thank you. Thank you for having me.

Jaye Wilson 25:01

Of course. Of course. And you coming back. I can't wait to come back. Yes, ma'am. So thank you again for coming to this episode of Melinated Mommy Talks, the podcast, where we are learning how moms in the margins are able to navigate with their own black mom magic and change the world while they're in it.

Jennifer Evans Rice 25:19

Black Girl Magic.

Jaye Wilson 25:42

Melinated MommyTalks the Podcast is your place for authentic and raw conversations about what it means to be a melanated mom. So make sure to subscribe on all of the platforms where you listen to your favorite podcasts. Make sure to like and share. And if you want to continue seeing our podcast grow, make sure to become a paid subscriber for exclusive bonus content or become a donating listening supporter. If you're interested in becoming an individual or corporate sponsor of this podcast, go to melinated moms . com / podcast for more information. We can't wait to have you with us in our next episode. So keep listening, stay connected, and stay tapped in.