S1E8 "Motherhood Meets HIV Advocacy" w/ Lynette Trawick Pt 1

What happens when a routine test rewrites the story you thought you were living? Jaye sits down with Lynette Trawick—mom of eleven, veteran, and founder of I Am You—to chart the path from diagnosis to purposeful advocacy, and from “be strong” to “be supported.” Lynette opens up about the moment she heard “HIV positive,” the myths that flooded her thoughts, and the very real pressure of daycare pickup when your world just tilted. Her candor is a master class in unlearning stigma and relearning facts: you can’t get HIV from sharing utensils or toilet seats, and undetectable really does mean untransmittable.

We dig into representation and why Black mothers are still missing from HIV commercials, clinics, and classrooms. Lynette explains how not seeing herself delayed her voice, and how social media eventually linked her to a thriving network of Black women living with HIV. That visibility inspired I Am You, a nonprofit that started by serving cisgender Black women and their families and now supports women impacted by HIV, intimate partner violence, and complex trauma. She walks us through disclosure with kids, supporting serodiscordant couples, and building a support system that understands prevention, protection, and dignity.

This conversation is equal parts education and affirmation, blending lived experience with practical tools for parents, partners, and allies. If you care about maternal health, Black women’s wellness, trauma-informed care, or HIV advocacy, you’ll find clarity and community here.

If this resonated, follow the show, share it with a friend, and leave a review to help more families find these conversations. Your support keeps this community growing.

Transcript

Welcome And Guest Introduction

Jaye Wilson 0:15

Hey girl, hey, it's your girl Jaye. Welcome to another episode of Melinated Mommy Talks, the podcast, where we are talking to moms in the margins. We're learning more about what does that mean to be in this different intersection of your motherhood and all the unique ways that we learn how to be who we are and use our black mom magic. I am so excited to have this conversation. We are meeting a really good, cool, super dope woman. And I think the conversation that we're going to have is going to keep you on the edge of your seats. I can't wait to dive into it. I know you all are going to enjoy this conversation as much as

Meet Lynette: Mom And Advocate

Jaye Wilson 0:54

I will. And that's because I have Lynette Trawick with me here for this episode. Lynette is a mom and is a phenomenal advocate for people living with HIV. As a black woman who is living with HIV herself, she is the founder and CEO of I Am U, a nonprofit focused on empowering women impacted by HIV, interpartner violence, and other complex traumas. Y'all already know the drill at this point. We of course could not fit our whole conversation with Lynette into just one episode. We actually had to break it into three. So go ahead and pull up your metaphorical seat, tap in, and enjoy part one of our conversation with Lynette Trawick. Without further ado, I really want to talk more to you Lynette.

Lynette Trawick 2:03

Yes. And I love, intersections is one of my favorite things to talk about. So that makes me super excited to get into this conversation.

Jaye Wilson 2:09

Yeah.

Big Family, Many Ages, Many Lessons

Jaye Wilson 2:10 Lynette Trawick 2:10

So I am Lynette Trawick, originally from Philadelphia, currently living in Baltimore County. I'm a wife. I'm a mom of a whole slew of kids. Um my husband and I have 11 children all together.

Jaye Wilson 2:21

God bless you. What?

Lynette Trawick 2:22

Yes, we have...

Jaye Wilson 2:23

11 human beings?

Lynette Trawick 2:24

We have 11 human beings, all different types of human beings.

Jaye Wilson 2:28

I love it.

Lynette Trawick 2:29

Um, from young to old, nine years old to 26 years old.

Jaye Wilson 2:33

Wow. That is several generations of children.

Lynette Trawick 2:36

Yes.

Jaye Wilson 2:36

Yes. We're going to talk all about that. I definitely want to talk about those generations of kids.

Framing The Intersections

Jaye Wilson 2:42

This episode of Moms in the Margins, we're talking about where those intersections lie and the way that our parenting and our lifestyle meet. And I really want to talk more about your diagnosis. It's always been a stigmatized conversation to talk about STDs, STIs, and HIV.

Lynette Trawick 3:03

Yes.

Jaye Wilson 3:04

But I think it is incredibly important for us to have this conversation, especially because black women are disproportionately the most impacted by HIV status. Can we talk a little bit more about it?

Diagnosis Meets Motherhood

Jaye Wilson 3:15

To your level of comfort, of course. But let's talk about that journey of how HIV intersected with your motherhood.

Lynette Trawick 3:21

Yes, absolutely. And thank you for bringing that up because I think a lot of times with HIV, you don't think, a lot of people don't think of mothering while living with HIV.

Jaye Wilson 3:32

Yeah.

Lynette Trawick 3:33

Those are completely separate topics. Um, so having an opportunity to really address that is, you know, exciting to talk about. Because I honestly, until this, until this came up, I didn't even think about how the two intersect.

Jaye Wilson 3:48

Really?

Lynette Trawick 3:49

And how I parented while living with HIV. So, you know, thank you, first of all. But just to kind of get into it a little bit, it really impacts how I've mothered in the past, just thinking about, you know, like I said, we have different ages of children. So some of our children were around prior to my diagnosis, some weren't. So I've been living with HIV now, going on 17 years. Like I said, the oldest child is 26 years old.

Jaye Wilson 4:17

Yeah.

Lynette Trawick 4:17

And, you know, I also have a 20, my son will be 23. I have a 17-year-old daughter. She'll be 18 too. So just a mix of how I parented each child, especially once that diagnosis came along. You know, how do I disclose? Because that's a big topic.

Jaye Wilson 4:37

Yeah.

Lynette Trawick 4:38

Disclosure with your children.

Jaye Wilson 4:39

Yeah.

Lynette Trawick 4:40

You know, we think about disclosure when it comes to dating, but what about disclosure with your children?

Jaye Wilson 4:44

Yeah.

Lynette Trawick 4:45

How and when and do I tell them and what do I tell them? And how much do I tell them? Yeah. So yeah, that's that's a lot of, you know, the different persp, the different perspectives that are um impacted when it comes to momming with HIV.

Jaye Wilson 5:00

Yeah. Yeah. So I think there are a lot of things that we were having a conversation in a different episode about what's politically correct to say or to ask or dive into. So I never want to just put things out and be like, well, what about this girl? You know, but where were you? If you can go back.

Lynette Trawick 5:21

So before you even go on, I want to let you know I'm an open book.

Jaye Wilson 5:25

Okay.

Lynette Trawick 5:25

So there is no question that is off, that is, that is too much. Because I feel like what better time to ask? And what better person to ask, other than someone who is actually living through the experience, who has lived through the experience. You know, there's no reason because I know that even if you ask, I'm gonna put up the air quotes "the wrong question", I know it's not with ill intent.

Jaye Wilson 5:48

Right.

Lynette Trawick 5:49

So I'm always able to, you know, educate with love. So...

Jaye Wilson 5:52

Thank you.

Lynette Trawick 5:53

Feel free to go ahead and ask the questions that you want to ask, and we can go ahead and get into it. So...

Jaye Wilson 5:59

I appreciate that. I appreciate

Stigma, Myths, And Immediate Fears

Jaye Wilson 6:01

that. When you were in your appointment and they came back and said, You're now a person living with HIV, what was one of your first thoughts?

Lynette Trawick 6:11

That's funny. Honestly, um, I thought about my kids. At the time, I had two children and I thought, what if I gave it to them? Prior to my diagnosis, I had a lot of stigma. I would have never thought that I would be diagnosed with HIV.

Jaye Wilson 6:29

Yeah.

Lynette Trawick 6:29

Uh I didn't think it would, it impacted a woman like me. I, I, I thought of movies that I watched. I thought of commercials that I saw, and all I saw was gay men or drug users, and I wasn't any of those. I was in a relationship. So HIV was one of the last things that crossed my mind. So once I was diagnosed, once I received the diagnosis, my thoughts went directly to my children. I remember times where they drank after me. And what about the time where I fed them off of my fork or they went to the bathroom after me? So all of those things that actually don't matter, I thought mattered.

Jaye Wilson 7:06

Yeah.

Lynette Trawick 7:06

And I just, it was so many different aspects that I considered. I remember they were at daycare that day. And I had the thought, I said, I'm gonna leave them there. I, I can't, I can't go and pick my kids up because what if I die? You know, just, just the wildest thoughts, you know, with without being educated.

Jaye Wilson 7:30

Yeah.

Lynette Trawick 7:30

And and I just had no idea what I was supposed to do moving forward. And I really thought to myself, I'm gonna leave my kids in, at the daycare. And I know they'll call me a few times, and then they'll call the emergency contacts, and my mom will go pick them up and I'm just not gonna answer the door, and somebody will take care of them. And then I remember it was getting closer to six o'clock, and I don't know about you know, you, but you know, once those, once those late fees, you know, I was like, oh my goodness, let me go get my kids before they start charging me.

Jaye Wilson 8:00

Exactly. Like it's 6:02. You owe me $2. Like, ma'am. Exactly. $2.

Lynette Trawick 8:06

And, and, and that is exactly like, if you think about it, like momming with HIV, I then again had to prioritize. Let me just go get my kids and push this HIV stuff out of my head.

Jaye Wilson 8:17

Yeah.

Lynette Trawick 8:17

Right? So that's literally how it went on for years. I, I, I can't think about HIV. I can't think about taking care of myself because I gotta take care of my kids.

Jaye Wilson 8:26

Yeah. Dang. That's heavy. That is, that's, it's such a heavy thing, right? There's so many things that can go through your head around am I the mom they need? Will I be able to navigate this new space I'm in? What does it look like for them? Right? So...

Lynette Trawick 8:44

What if they test positive?

Jaye Wilson 8:46

Yeah.

Lynette Trawick 8:47

Because like I said, I didn't know that if they could get it off of a toilet seat or things. What if I take them and they test positive, then what? I already feel bad with me, but what about them?

Jaye Wilson 8:57

That's true. Was there something that happened that made you, that,

The Day Of The Positive Test

Jaye Wilson 9:02

prompted you to say, I should go get tested?

Lynette Trawick 9:04

No. Um, so I was in a relationship and I remember it was around, I was always getting tested every year anyway.

Jaye Wilson 9:14

Okay.

Lynette Trawick 9:14

It was just something that my doctor asked, you know, annual testing. Yeah, sure, why not? You know, you get the whole panel, you want to be tested for HIV? Sure, why not? Um, March of 2008, I had gotten really sick. I had always been very, very healthy. I had gotten really sick. I went to the doctor and I was diagnosed with strep throat, the flu, the stomach virus. I was dehydrated and my blood pressure was low.

Jaye Wilson 9:39

Oh, wow.

Lynette Trawick 9:40

All at the same time.

Jaye Wilson 9:41

Dang.

Lynette Trawick 9:42

I was blacking out there in the doctor's office. They actually transported me from my doctor's visit across the street to the emergency room because I could not walk across the street. That's how weak I was from all of the different things that were going on. I went over there. I remember they gave me some fluids. I stayed for some hours. They gave me medicine for all of those different things and sent me on my way. Never asked about HIV. I didn't think it was a thought. They apparently didn't think it was a thought. I went home. November of 2008, so that was some months later.

Jaye Wilson 10:15

Yeah.

Lynette Trawick 10:16

I went for my annual checkup. Same thing. Do you want to be tested? Sure. Went and got the test. The following day, I got a phone call. You need to come in here tomorrow. We have some news to tell you. And first thought in my head was, oh, goodness am I my pregnant. Oh, God.

Jaye Wilson 10:35

Momming in the margins.

Lynette Trawick 10:36

Oh, right.

Jaye Wilson 10:37

Like, whoa, child, not another test.

Lynette Trawick 10:39

Goodness gracious. So I'm like, well, I can't, you know, I gotta work. I, you know, I can't get off tomorrow, but maybe, you know. "You need to get in here tomorrow." Went to my supervisor, I let her know I'll be going to the doctor in the morning. Went into the appointment, got called in the back, and they said your HIV test came back positive. And I had absolutely, I told you, I just, I went blank. I, I initially went blank because I had absolutely no idea what, what?

Jaye Wilson 11:10

Yeah.

Lynette Trawick 11:10

You know, just all of the stigma, all of the things that I thought of, all of the negativity, all of the things that weren't correct flooded my brain.

Jaye Wilson 11:20

Yeah.

Lynette Trawick 11:21

And then it was, what about my kids?

Jaye Wilson 11:24

You know, it's it's crazy too, because I, I feel like as time has gone on, of course, like we have 30 plus years of information around HIV and AIDS and, and honestly how to prepare, what to do, all of the things.

Updating HIV Knowledge

Jaye Wilson 11:40

But even now, even in 2025, when we're speaking with women who have diagnoses, they're still going to those initial thoughts of maybe I didn't do this right, or I can't talk to this person, or I can't use these dishes, or, you know, so how can we change those kind of conversations? How, how do we update people's information on transmission and protection and prevention and honestly like how to still interact and thrive, right? Because there's so many people that don't know their status and they're still living and thriving and eating and sleeping and doing all the things that they've been doing. So how do we change people's perspective around updating those that information?

Representation And Being Seen

Lynette Trawick 12:24

Well, I think this is definitely a great start.

Jaye Wilson 12:26

Okay.

Lynette Trawick 12:27

Um, just having platforms.

Jaye Wilson 12:28

Shameless plug, appreciate it. Love it.

Lynette Trawick 12:31

Yeah. So just having platforms like this to see people that you don't typically see when having conversations about HIV.

Jaye Wilson 12:40

Yeah.

Lynette Trawick 12:41

You know, when we're looking at the commercials on TV, you know, where are the moms?

Jaye Wilson 12:47

Yeah.

Lynette Trawick 12:47

You know, where are the black women? You know, so just finding people who are, who look more like the people that need to be seen.

Jaye Wilson 12:57

Yeah.

Lynette Trawick 12:58

Right. So that was, that was one of the issues with me. Like I said, before I was diagnosed, all I saw on commercials and movies were people who didn't look like me.

Jaye Wilson 13:06

Yeah.

Lynette Trawick 13:06

You know, so bringing those people forward, bringing, bringing cisgender black women forward to be able to share their stories more often, to be able to be shown in these commercials and movies and things like that. So we can, you know, so other women who may not, who who may not feel like they need to get tested because maybe they don't feel like it can impact someone like them, whatever that may look like.

Jaye Wilson 13:33

Yeah.

Lynette Trawick 13:33

They can then see someone like them. Because even after I was diagnosed, it still took some years for me to talk about it because I still didn't see anyone like me.

Jaye Wilson 13:43

Yeah.

Lynette Trawick 13:43

So, you know, it was, oh goodness, where are we? Or did they all die? Or, you know, so it was further increasing my stigma because I still don't see anybody like me out here.

Jaye Wilson 13:55

Yeah.

Lynette Trawick 13:55

You know, and that was, that was like right around the time of Facebook going from just being able to be accessed by college students.

Jaye Wilson 14:03

I remember that. I remember that.

Lynette Trawick 14:05

Because I couldn't get on it then.

Jaye Wilson 14:06

Yeah.

Lynette Trawick 14:07

I can only get on it after that part. Yeah. So it was, it was, you know, Facebook had just started to, to surface and it was still only on a desktop, you know. So it wasn't uh, you know, Facebook mobile or anything like that. You had to wait till you got home.

Jaye Wilson 14:22

It was like Facebook 1.0. Dang.

Lynette Trawick 14:23

Exactly.

Jaye Wilson 14:24

Yeah.

Lynette Trawick 14:24

Yeah. So you had to wait till you got home and got on your desktop computer to log on to Facebook.

Jaye Wilson 14:29

Yes.

Lynette Trawick 14:29

Right. So like I said, I was diagnosed in 08. So 2008 and 2009, it was still like that. Uh so the information wasn't, you know, you didn't have the Facebook ads and all of that kind of stuff. So you really just relied on whatever was it was on TV. So I think, you know, that's, that's just, that's definitely a great place to start, is just creating uh more platforms where we can be seen. We, meaning black cisgender women, can be seen, especially talking about HIV.

Building Community Online

Jaye Wilson 15:00

Yeah, yeah. That's powerful. I always think about like the origin story of like my organization. That was one of the things I felt very alone and isolated in my motherhood. And I went looking for groups and people, and I'm like, I can't find the people who relate to the transitions that I'm in in my life. So maybe I should just create it. Let me go outside and throw some spaghetti at the wall and see what happens. I'm grateful it, it came up, right? But it also shined, sh shone, shined, shone, shined, shone a light.

Lynette Trawick 15:36

Shined a light.

Jaye Wilson 15:37

A light came up. It shined it on it.

Lynette Trawick 15:41

It shined it on it.

Jaye Wilson 15:42

It shined. It was it was a shiny light. But it It illuminated. Oh, I like that. We're gonna put that one. We got it illuminated so many other women who felt that same way of like, I've never seen anyone who look like me from this perspective. Do I see other black women? Yes. But do they see me for who I am and all of those intersections of identity? Right. So I always wanted to highlight what are our commonalities outside of our differences. We can always find a way to exclude ourselves from anybody that we're in a room with. But how do we actually create a space where we all feel included? How do we talk to each other and see each other for the individual that we are, not who we are not?

Lynette Trawick 16:28

Yeah. And that, that comes with a lot of transparency.

Jaye Wilson 16:31

Yeah.

Lynette Trawick 16:31

Right? That, that, that comes with, like you said, you had to put yourself out there and say, hey, this is what I'm dealing with. These are my intersections for people to be able to see themselves in you.

Jaye Wilson 16:43

Yeah.

Lynette Trawick 16:43

Being that person that God called us to be. And it's one of those things that when I was younger, I didn't understand why I was so different and why I could never fit in, you know, with different groups. But it's, I had to learn to embrace that as I got older because I do stand out.

Jaye Wilson 16:56

Yeah.

Lynette Trawick 16:57

You know, I, I was meant to stand out in so many different capacities. We laughed about, you know, we talked about my my long legs and all of the things that I love about myself now, I couldn't stand when I was younger.

Jaye Wilson 17:08

Yeah.

Lynette Trawick 17:09

Because it did make me stand out. I couldn't stand my long legs.

Advocacy, Burnout, And Boundaries

Lynette Trawick 17:12

I couldn't stand my big lips. I couldn't stand that I wore glasses. I didn't like any of that stuff. You know, but now it's like, okay, yes, look at me so I can tell you, uh tell you my story.

Jaye Wilson 17:22

Yeah.

Lynette Trawick 17:22

So now you can see yourself in me and know that you're not alone.

Jaye Wilson 17:26

Yeah. Yeah. And I and I think that also is just incredibly important for black moms, you know, um, in other cultures that I am not a part of. We see community, we see the way that they embrace one another. But in my experience, in my motherhood, the experience of being a superhero or a super mom was more amplified. So I had to learn how to do these things on my own. I had to be incredibly independent. And I can't ask anybody for anything. If I ask for help, now I'm being needy. Now I'm not actually being a good mom, right?

Lynette Trawick 18:01

Yeah.

Jaye Wilson 18:01

But vulnerability is a strength. It is not a weakness.

Lynette Trawick 18:05

Absolutely.

Jaye Wilson 18:06

And it is incredibly hard to identify what it is that you're asking for help for and identifying a person or people who also can identify with that and willing to help.

Lynette Trawick 18:18

Yeah.

Jaye Wilson 18:19

So not outside, not from the space of like survival, but just necessity. Like we need community. Community is not an option. And as much as we see communities in, thrive in other spaces, when we try to do it or when we try to maintain it, it feels almost adversarial. Right. So, like for me, like I really want what we're doing and all of the ways that Melinan ed Moms shows up. I want that to be this beautiful, unique space where you feel safe enough to say, my vulnerability here is my strength.

Lynette Trawick 18:55

Yeah.

Jaye Wilson 18:56

And I want other women who look like me to know that that can be their experience as well.

Lynette Trawick 19:00

Absolutely.

Jaye Wilson 19:00

And they see it in the other women that they're around.

Lynette Trawick 19:03

Yeah. And then, and then too, I think another

Intersections: Veteran, Trauma, Mother

Lynette Trawick 19:06

layer of it with our thinking, talking about like our community is thinking about how our moms mommed.

Jaye Wilson 19:13

Yeah.

Lynette Trawick 19:13

Right. Because we, we, we draw a lot from that experience as well. Just thinking about, you know, I tried so hard just looking at different aspects of how my mom mommed.

Jaye Wilson 19:24

Yeah.

Lynette Trawick 19:24

You know, how she mothered uh her children and certain aspects that I said, I want to be just like my mom and doing that. But I don't want to do that. I don't want to do that. But then sometimes I found myself trying so hard to not do the things that I didn't want to do that I was going the complete opposite. And that's not good either.

Jaye Wilson 19:44

Yeah.

Lynette Trawick 19:44

Right. So I that, that also, you know, just thinking about how those generational things occur, you know, and then having those grown-up conversations with my mom about how she mommed because of how her mother was, and just so on and so forth. And just it's so many different layers to it, you know, and then, then enter, enter trauma into the space, you know? And yeah, so all of that definitely impacts how we how we mom. But like you said, that, that vulnerability and that transparency is definitely what's needed to continue to develop community.

Jaye Wilson 20:17

It's true. It's true. Now, again, let's kind of dive into what we started with the conversation around stigma. So being a person living with HIV, feeling your own stigmas, questioning yourself, all of the things, but also wanting community. How did you navigate that thought of I don't want to stigmatize myself as the people that I don't identify with, that I've associated this disease with, but I also want community with people who can identify with this diagnosis.

Lynette Trawick 20:52

Yeah.

Jaye Wilson 20:52

How did you navigate that space?

Lynette Trawick 20:54

That was, that was tough. Um it's, it's still a little challenging too. So when I first, when

Creating I Am You

Lynette Trawick 21:02

I was first diagnosed and when I first decided I wanted to find a support group, support system, I started going to different organizations and I could not find anything for me. Um I would wind up going into spaces with, like I said, it looked like the stigma that I, that I knew.

Jaye Wilson 21:20

Yeah.

Lynette Trawick 21:21

Um and I said, okay, this is not it. Yeah, I had a doctor, and in my doctor's office, I believe she may have been a nurse practitioner. I don't know if she was a case manager. I don't know. I just loved her. Whoever she was, I always made sure I stopped in her um, in her office.

Jaye Wilson 21:38

Yeah.

Lynette Trawick 21:38

And she was a black woman. Uh, and she would always give me different resources. And she said, hey, I have, I host a group here, and you should come and it's a women's group. So I'm like, okay, now we're getting a little closer. So now we got a women's group. And I went there and I loved it. I absolutely loved it. And then social media started getting bigger. I wound up connecting with a woman who's a great friend of mine now, and she's in Atlanta.

Jaye Wilson 22:05

Okay.

Lynette Trawick 22:06

And she's living with HIV. And I started listening to her story. And then she started introducing me to other people. And then I said, it's, it's a lot of us. We out here.

Jaye Wilson 22:16

Yeah.

Lynette Trawick 22:16

There's a lot of black women living with HIV, and not just living with HIV, but thriving and doing the work and like living, you know? And that started to empower me. And that really showed me that, okay, there's something in this.

Jaye Wilson 22:35

Yeah.

Lynette Trawick 22:36

You know, we need to start having these conversations. But then it was like, okay, so, but what do I want to do with it? Because just because I'm living with HIV, and I say this to women all the time who come to me, you know, and they say, Oh, I want to be just like you, and I want to be open and I want to talk and I want to do all of the things. Slow down because first of all, that's not for all of us.

Jaye Wilson 22:54

Yeah.

Lynette Trawick 22:54

You know, this is not easy work, you know, and, and I even had to take a step back myself from what advocacy used to look like for me. And because I got burnt out of doing, doing, doing, doing, being and going and running and being in this place and that place and speaking up for this person and that person. It was like, uh, but I gotta focus on me.

Jaye Wilson 23:15

Yeah.

Lynette Trawick 23:15

You know, and my life at one, at some point became HIV, you know, and that became exhausting.

Jaye Wilson 23:22

Yeah.

Lynette Trawick 23:23

So then I had to take a step back and started looking more again at those intersections that we talked about. Right. So not just HIV, but motherhood, being a woman, trauma, mental health. I'm also a military veteran.

Jaye Wilson 23:37

Oh, wow. Thank you for your service.

Lynette Trawick 23:39

Yes, you're welcome. So thank, thank you for acknowledging that. So even looking at those intersections, you know, even looking at that, that was something that I didn't even go into spaces talking about is being a military veteran. And it was something that was uncomfortable for me. And I actually used to downplay it. Like, yeah, you know, but I only, yeah. But I served in the military and it was something that, like I said, I overlooked and I, I downplayed

Narrowing The Mission With Intention

Lynette Trawick 24:06

it. But then I had to realize, even through therapy, my therapist would ask me, Well, why don't you talk about that? You know that that's a big part of your life, right?

Jaye Wilson 24:16

Yeah.

Lynette Trawick 24:16

You know, and I had to start looking at how that actually did impact a lot of different parts of my life.

Jaye Wilson 24:21

Yeah.

Lynette Trawick 24:22

So that's, that's what it was for me. It was, like you said, knowing that I needed to find a space for myself.

Jaye Wilson 24:28

Yeah.

Lynette Trawick 24:28

And then coming to this realization, like, wait, maybe I'm meant to create that space.

Jaye Wilson 24:33

Yeah. Yeah.

Lynette Trawick 24:34

You know.

Jaye Wilson 24:35

And I, and I, I want you to actually, that's a great segue. I want to actually ask you about I Am U. Because I think that that's, it's, I love the title, first of all. Like the name of your business is amazing. But I think that that helps people to reflect in a positive way. I love that it's a a self-reflective name and concept, right? Um, and something else that you've been talking about this entire time that I've, I've been talking to my producer about is honestly the change in language. Right. So when di, when HIV first came on the scene, it was you're dying from HIV, you're suffering from HIV. But to hear I am a person living with HIV, it shifts the way that it sits in your body. It changes the way that you actually can look at this as a a lifelong thing that you can deal with, like a cron, a regular chronic disease, high blood pressure.

Lynette Trawick 25:30

Diabetes.

Jaye Wilson 25:31

Thank you. I was about to say geriatrics.

Lynette Trawick 25:33

Don't say that, that sugar. The sugar.

Jaye Wilson 25:37

The sugar, the gout. Right. But again, like it gives people hope. It gives them another way to to look at themselves, not for the diagnosis, but to live with it.

Lynette Trawick 25:52

Yes.

Jaye Wilson 25:52

So tell us more about I AM U.

Lynette Trawick 25:54

Yeah. So I AM U is so funny because I AM U, the name, not the whole organization, but the name came to me. I was in college and I was in my bus,

Expanding To Complex Trauma

Lynette Trawick 26:06

one of my business classes, and our final project was due. And we had to come up with some organization, what it does, and yada yada yada, some stuff that I didn't really care about at the time. And I sat, you know, the night before it was due, you know, probably about nine o'clock. It was due at midnight, and sat and came up with some stuff, and I named this organization I AM U. But the focus of it was initially for um youth dealing with trauma or something like that. I don't know. That was actually before my diagnosis.

Jaye Wilson 26:35

Right.

Lynette Trawick 26:35

And but that name just stuck with me. Um, I AM U, I AM U, it just stuck with me. And once uh I was diagnosed, and so I was diagnosed in 08. I didn't start I AM U till 2017.

Jaye Wilson 26:49

Okay.

Lynette Trawick 26:49

So I was in school maybe 20, I, I don't even remember. Whenever it was, it was before the diagnosis, but it came back to me. And I said, I have to use this name. And it's, you know, and it...

Jaye Wilson 27:04

Powerful.

Lynette Trawick 27:04

Just thinking about how it all came to be. So initially, I AM U was focused on serving women from ages, I think it was like 25 to 45 years old living with HIV.

Jaye Wilson 27:17

Okay.

Lynette Trawick 27:18

Uh, because, you know, it was that was the age group that I could relate to.

Jaye Wilson 27:21

Yeah.

Lynette Trawick 27:22

Then it kind of changed. It was like, okay, I, once I really started doing the work and I, I started seeing the impact that it had on black women. Okay, we're gonna do black women from the ages of 25 to 45 years old. Then I got, you know, a little more deep, a little deeper into the work, and I started hearing these terms cisgender and all of this. So I said, hmm, okay, cisgender black women living with HIV from the ages of 25 to 45 years old. Um, so started getting very, very specific. There was definitely some pushback along the way.

Jaye Wilson 27:56

Okay.

Lynette Trawick 27:57

Which was really interesting to me. And it, and it kind of scared me a lot in the beginning. It kind of made me want to say, you know what, okay, let's, let's pull it back. And yeah, all women and all ages and all, you know,

Soft Life, Support, And Hope

Lynette Trawick 28:08

but I said, but no, we're all called to something very specific.

Jaye Wilson 28:11

Yeah.

Lynette Trawick 28:11

Right? Like, so that's what I, that's what I settled on. So for years, I AM U served cisgender black women living with HIV and helping them to develop their support systems, educating their support systems as well. So we did a lot of work with what's called sero discordant couples. So where one person in the relationship is living with HIV and their partner is not. So we did a lot of work with that. We did a lot of work with children of parents who are living with HIV. So it was very, very specific on uh women and families. As of last year, I AM U has taken a s, we changed a little bit, uh, we changed our focus a little bit and we kind of opened it up to not just HIV now, because talking about the intersections, like I said, let, um, I had to take a step back from a lot of things last year. It was a time of rest. It was a time of reflection last year. I took about six months off of a lot of work that I was doing, everything from I AM U to a lot of contracts that I had. I kind of put everything on hold and I just had to kind of sit with myself and pray and just talk to God and see what direction he really wanted to lead me in. And when I came back to I AM U, now our focus is women who are, it's a new, it's a new mission. So I'm gonna, I'm not gonna be able to say it word for word.

Lynette Trawick 29:31

Okay.

Lynette Trawick 29:32

But we serve women who are dealing with HIV, in ter partner violence and other complex traumas. So we are addressing a lot of different traumas because, like I said earlier, it's I came to a place where I've even had to realize that some of the things that I've experienced was trauma as well. Like my military service.

Jaye Wilson 29:53

Yeah.

Lynette Trawick 29:53

I, I was diagnosed with PTSD and I didn't even understand why, you know. And once I sat with my therapist and started opening up about different things that happened while I was in the military. She was like, That is trauma. It's trauma. You know, so I think that a lot of times we as women don't realize a lot of the things that we go through are traumatic because we're so used to pushing ourselves to the side.

Jaye Wilson 30:18

Yeah.

Lynette Trawick 30:18

Right?

Jaye Wilson 30:18

We don't prioritize them.

Lynette Trawick 30:19

Because we got, right, like you said, the superhero thing. You said that in the beginning. We gotta worry about saving the world and doing things for everyone else.

Jaye Wilson 30:26

Yeah.

Lynette Trawick 30:27

You know, that we don't even, I think you said we, it's just, it's just there. Yeah, I went through that, but whatever.

Jaye Wilson 30:32

Right.

Lynette Trawick 30:32

I'm fine. I'm strong. I'm a strong black woman. No. I'm sick of being a strong black woman.

Jaye Wilson 30:38

Right.

Lynette Trawick 30:38

I'm ready for my soft life, honey.

Jaye Wilson 30:41

Shout out to soft life. I don't know what it is, but I'm, I'm determined before I leave this earth, I'm gonna get it.

Lynette Trawick 30:47

Well, yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am. I am getting a taste of it now. Shout out to my husband, Daniel Trawick. Yes.

Jaye Wilson 30:53

We like good husbands, okay?

Lynette Trawick 30:56

We love some good husbands, yes.

Jaye Wilson 30:57

Yes. We really do love good husbands. And we want to shout them out. But

What’s Next: Part Two Preview And CTA

Jaye Wilson 31:18

let's also shout out Lynette for the amazing work her organization is doing. Black women being represented in the HIV awareness, education, and advocacy space is so important. Talking about Lynette's diagnosis, disclosing to her children, starting a nonprofit, and working towards that soft life is just the beginning of the great conversation that took place. Make sure you tap in for part two of this conversation where we dive into being HIV undetectable, breastfeeding, and even how to educate our kids about sex and HIV. Melinated Mommy Talks, the podcast, is your place for authentic and raw conversations about what it means to be a melanated mom. So make sure to subscribe on all the platforms where you listen to your favorite podcasts. Make sure to like and share. And if you want to continue seeing our podcast grow, make sure to become a paid subscriber for exclusive bonus content or become a donating listening supporter. If you're interested in becoming an individual or corporate sponsor of this podcast, go to melinated moms . com / podcast for more information. We can't wait to have you with us in our next episode. So keep listening, stay connected, and stay tapped in .