OGYN #27 The Boys Laugh at Everything Serious

Thank you for all the listens guys!  We aim to put out an entertaining podcast that stays light and fun. hopefully we are hitting the mark!  Watch our live Youtube show "Big Swings" @focusallcomedy on Youtube. be sure to like, follow, comment, subscribe, all the things. thank you, thank you, thank you.

     In this episode the boys get together to sum up recent comedy shows all over the DMV and talk trash.  Izzys dating life and Headlines once they get going. 

     Joe and Izzy chop it up and tackle all the tough issues with comedy. Live Show tix joespaincomedy.com 

Thank you to everyone who laughs with us. Please Like, Share and comment to keep us improving. Spread the laughter. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:25

That's supposed to help people relax. Welcome to another OGYN podcast. This is number 27 already. I'm here with my man Isaiah Tangle. What's going on, man? I don't know, man. Um, I know one thing. We have had some fun fucking shows, brother. Oh yeah. The goddamn uh thing we did on what day was that? You went to church. How would how did that go? Tell me about that first. Let's lead off with that.

SPEAKER_02 0:54

It went a lot better than I thought it went up on stage.

SPEAKER_00 0:58

Yeah. He watched it back.

SPEAKER_02 1:00

I listened to it. I watched it, but I listened to it. And it uh it was pretty fun. So you guys were at the church of satire. Who all was there? It was uh me, Shauna Henry, uh Chris Pierce, Craig Paul, and Jim Bryan. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:15

I heard Craig killed.

SPEAKER_02 1:16

Craig killed. It was fucking hilarious. He's a funny guy, man. Yeah, very fucking funny.

SPEAKER_00 1:21

He'd been around a minute. I saw him somewhere and I didn't know who he was. And after he went up, I got talking to him and I was like, yeah, that was fucking crazy. Friggin', I did uh Mert called me. That show was Friday too, right? Or was it? Yeah. Mert called me. Saturday. Saturday, Saturday, and asked me to do a guest spot on that show. Daniel McFarland hosted. He's a funny, goofy little bastard. Danny Mac. He's uh I talked to him today, man. He's gonna come on. He's gonna come on the podcast, hang out with us. He's a good guy. Yeah, he's fun to talk to. Hey, hey. Already? God. I pushed the wrong button. I wasn't really busting his balls. Lon fucking Lon went up. He did pretty good. Sean Levert fucking he did so good, man. Hell yeah. It was a good show. It was like a it it wasn't oh you know how some shows have like this weird build up or they go up and they go down and they go, you know what I mean? This one was kind of like a plateau. It was kind of everybody did good, you know what I mean? But there wasn't a whole bunch of good and down. Right. Up and down, up and down. Everybody decided. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:42

Yeah. Well, I see it's hard to say because I was a host, so like if I said like it was like plateau, you know what I mean? It's my fault. So I would say like it was bad. You know what I mean? Just gotta feel like I'm not a good host, but I feel like the people still enjoyed themselves. Slipped like I was supposed to do 10 minutes, did eight. Yeah. Like I hit the dude asked me, uh, shout out to Daryl. He was like, hey man, when do you want a light? I was like, give me a light at eight. I was supposed to do ten. He gave me a light at uh no, they didn't give me a light. It was 759 exactly, and I got off.

SPEAKER_00 3:13

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 3:14

Yeah, so you got it timed out. Professional, you know. It's one of those things, you know, you got fucking you got one joke for ten minutes, you know what I'm saying? Right, right. Or like a joke a minute for ten minutes, but like all three in one. I had a uh Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:31

You're like, well Why am I rushing to get there?

SPEAKER_02 3:34

Dude, and the lights were so dark, so I couldn't see anybody, talk to anybody, which you know, like I'm glad I'm staying away from that on shoes, you know, talking to the crowd anyway, but should have done it.

SPEAKER_00 3:45

Yeah, I uh I had one of those sets Saturday that was like it was fun. It was the light came. Like I told him, don't even worry about giving me a light, I'll be good. Just tell me what to do. He said, do like seven or eight. So I was like, all right. When the light came, I thought I was at like four. I swear to god, man. I was just I was on autopilot, having a good time. There wasn't that many people there, but the people that were there were fun. Right. I don't know, it was probably 15 or 20. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 4:15

I don't know how many people we had. They were spread out for sure.

SPEAKER_00 4:19

You know, I don't get that, man.

SPEAKER_02 4:21

Yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 4:22

In there though, there's pews, so it's not like they can take chairs away.

SPEAKER_02 4:27

There were like three bigger guys in the front, and I mean, they basically took up that whole pew.

SPEAKER_00 4:33

See, like like I like at the port or you know, up in Philly at um what's it called? Must a club, everybody. Yeah, helium. They take the share the chairs away, and as they fill up, you know, the room changes, so they keep everybody towards the stage.

SPEAKER_02 4:50

They ushered them to the front, you know, but they migrated to the back.

SPEAKER_00 4:54

Yeah, a lot of people don't want to hear that shit either. They're trying to stay away from them.

SPEAKER_02 4:58

Especially in a church, yeah. Please move to the front. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:02

And there they're gonna get fucked with, man.

SPEAKER_02 5:04

The hangout was like the best though. Uh we fucking they got like a green room and then they got like uh a little like section, you know. I mean, they got like a little section in the back. Uh runs like a bar. You know, I mean, uh, we didn't really indulge in that until after the show. I was very nervous. I probably should have had a drink. You know, I probably would have been a little bit better off, but uh just very shaky, you know, fucking eased up a little bit, you know, as the show went on. But after the show, we were all hanging out, you know. We went to the arcade after shot pool. I'm very bad. Like the more I play, this seems like the worse I'm getting. So I'm going to have to put that down.

SPEAKER_00 5:43

Just so you're just gonna quit it.

SPEAKER_02 5:45

I'm gonna find a new bar game to be good at. Yeah. Something.

SPEAKER_00 5:48

You know what I used to be good at, man? That fucking mega touch. What's the that thing that sits on? I don't even know if they're still at a bar. It used to be there's this thing that sat on a bar that you put credits in, and it didn't pay you or nothing. It wasn't like a slot machine. You could just play games like keep the drunk guy walking, or you know, make eleven card games or the puzzles, there's all kind of shit on there. See, nah, we went they had like an arcade, like a real deal arcade.

SPEAKER_02 6:15

Yeah, like uh you paid like what$20 for like an hour. Or no, it was like$10 for an hour. And uh you could do whatever you want in an arcade.

SPEAKER_03 6:23

Oh, I like that.

SPEAKER_02 6:24

Yeah, really, you could have just walked in. The dude was like, look at it, you could have just walked in and played everything. You didn't really need a recipe.

SPEAKER_00 6:30

What's that place called? Give that place a plug.

SPEAKER_02 6:32

Uh I have no clue, dude. Uh fucking I literally have no clue.

SPEAKER_00 6:36

It's uh it's in Hanover?

SPEAKER_02 6:37

Yeah, it's very uh it's very scary. Yeah. You know, it kind of looks like uh you know that train station they went in in the whiz. You ever seen the whiz? Yeah, dude. It's pretty it's pretty scary looking, but it's very fun once you get inside. They had like two bags of chips on sale. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:55

It's like a bodega slash.

SPEAKER_02 6:57

$2.50 for very small bags of chips.

SPEAKER_00 7:00

But were were they were they shebangs? No, they were the voodoo chips. Oh.

SPEAKER_02 7:05

Yeah, so I didn't.

SPEAKER_00 7:06

Well, they're in Hanover. They should have been Uts, right?

SPEAKER_02 7:09

I don't know. They I guess. Uts is from Hanover, I think. We got uh well, we didn't, but there was a hot dog place across the street. Definitely got hit that place next time. It did smell so good.

SPEAKER_00 7:20

I went down the street um last time I was there. I went down the street and got a beer from some brewery in a cup.

SPEAKER_02 7:27

They're like uh fat boys or fat daddies or something.

SPEAKER_00 7:30

It was good. Yeah, it was good. And I then I went back and got another one before I went up. I pounded two beers in me. Because they don't sell beer there. You gotta bring it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:39

I should pound hot dogs before I go ahead and like just take two hot dogs.

SPEAKER_00 7:42

I bet you would like to take two hot dogs, you fucking just to eat.

SPEAKER_02 7:46

You know what I mean? I don't like hot dogs. Oh, thank you. Applaud that. Yeah, Danny Mack's coming. Can we get a smile for that?

SPEAKER_00 7:52

I like you taking hot dogs about her.

SPEAKER_02 7:55

Yeah, it's funnier. For sure, it's funnier.

SPEAKER_00 7:59

I'm pounding hot dogs. I know you don't do sports, man, but did you know did you see the uh who won the national championship?

SPEAKER_02 8:09

Over like who for what?

SPEAKER_00 8:11

You know, in March, the NCAA has a big tournament. Yeah, college. I don't watch college. Well, if you had to guess, who you think won?

SPEAKER_02 8:21

Well, I've seen the girls game and uh fucking UCLA girls beat. So you know that? I I I just and you don't know the guys? I just seen it on Easter. I didn't I wasn't paying attention. I was drinking.

SPEAKER_00 8:34

Yeah, you know. Well, the game was on Mon last night, Monday night.

SPEAKER_02 8:38

I'm busy on Monday nights, man. Yeah, me too.

SPEAKER_00 8:40

Come out to the club, hang out, and I got home just to say C C last five, ten minutes, man.

SPEAKER_02 8:45

Dude, they let me last night and uh I'm not gonna say her name, but she can't had to come up and walk me off the state. Not really walk me, but like I was running the light. Yeah, and she came and like took me out, tried to take me off the state. Why were you running the light? Some drunk was fucking talking for like my last two minutes. I was gonna say my shit, but yeah. Then I mentioned how I was like, oh, these two are trying to get me off stage. You know, I just love hanging out. Shout out to Dream Big Venues place to be all Monday night, clearly.

SPEAKER_00 9:15

Yeah, they uh um the host last night. God, why'd her name just leave me? Fallon. Fallon. Nice woman. Did you uh you weren't there when I went up, right? No, you went up early. I got there at like nine o'clock. Yeah. She said she went on a date with my wife. That was my bring up. She went on a date with a wife. We saw Flo Ryder. I said, Oh guy, here we go. Here's Joe. I put it online just because it was cool.

SPEAKER_02 9:48

I would have shot myself in the head immediately. Come on, man. Not because of her.

SPEAKER_00 9:54

Oh man. Toddy Todd come sliding in there.

SPEAKER_02 10:00

Like a lizard.

SPEAKER_00 10:02

Yeah, Michigan won, man.

SPEAKER_02 10:06

Fuck sports, man.

SPEAKER_00 10:08

The Wolverines. Yeah, they won that national championship.

SPEAKER_02 10:12

You don't like baseball neither? I liked why like see now I said I don't like live sports. It's just it's for different for different shit. Like when I worked at sports at the beach, I liked watching like the the like teenagers play. You know what I mean? Because it was just like it was interesting. But they suck, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 10:30

You'll like uh you'll like Kyle's basketball league.

SPEAKER_02 10:34

Yeah, man. I sure will.

SPEAKER_00 10:37

Oh man, it's them guys. I like the guys. The guys are fun. I don't.

SPEAKER_02 10:40

You don't went to school when I mean he wasn't very nice to me.

SPEAKER_00 10:43

Uh, which one? Point guard. Wow, I don't know him yet. Yeah. I'll say something to him. I'll boss his balls because I get to MC that shit. Well, it's gonna be fun. Yeah, fucking um, you know why baseball sucks?

SPEAKER_02 10:57

I heard it's uh not interesting until like the very end of the game, but I think that's the whole thing of it. You know what I'm saying? You get drunk, then uh something happens, and the nerds that aren't getting fucked up pay attention and they like all pop off, and then you just glimpse over, you pop off with them. You know, you go back to slamming hot dogs.

SPEAKER_00 11:14

I mean, you're just I have no idea what you said. No, I gotcha, I gotcha.

SPEAKER_02 11:18

Yeah, I don't like baseball personally.

SPEAKER_00 11:20

Nah, I don't like baseball that much either. It's fun to go to a game, but the whole game is fucked up because the the cities that have more money just buy all the good players. Yeah, it ain't like football. There ain't no salary cap or no shit like that. So New York is good every year. LA is good every year. Fucking it just gets old. You see your boy Wemby got a a bruise. That was last night. I saw that too. He got a bruised rib because he's fucking slender man.

SPEAKER_01 11:49

Slenderman. Eight feet tall.

SPEAKER_00 11:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:54

I was playing uh basketball with the boys yesterday. Yeah? Yeah, me dev, chum, and uh Vontee. Yeah, uh fucking What do y'all play? Do y'all play two on two or the first game was 21 just to warm up. Uh I was second in that. Really doesn't matter if you're not first or last. Ricky Bobby, 95. But uh fucking we play a game of 21, and then uh we played two games to 21. Well, we go to like seven. Everybody's fat and out of shape, and I smoke a cigarette, so it's like fucking no point. So we go to like seven. Uh I won one game, my team, and then we switched teams, and then Chum's team won one.

SPEAKER_00 12:34

So that's what's up. Yeah, man. In jail we play three on three. That's better. Or this thing that was called Around the World. No, it wasn't Around the World. I called Around the World, but they called it something different. You had to shoot from five different spots.

SPEAKER_02 12:52

Basically around the world. Yeah. Shit like that. I think a horse, not a horse guy. I'm gonna play one-on-one. That's it.

SPEAKER_00 13:00

Yeah. I don't mind playing the around the world thing because you can stay. You know what I'm saying? You can either the way they play it is so you shoot from the first spot, you make it. You go to the second spot. You shoot from the second spot, if you miss it, you stay there. You can stay there and not not double down, you know what I mean? Or you can take it, and but if you miss it then, you gotta go back.

SPEAKER_02 13:23

You gotta be warmed up, man. Like, I'm like one of those uh people, like I'm a rhythm shooter, and I get it over like over the court. Like, if I'm uh fucking around for like a like a week, every day for a week, I'm out there playing, I'll get it. But if I'm playing like once a week, yeah, it's gonna take like a month. Right. But after that, you know, I got it. I shoot from anywhere on the court.

SPEAKER_00 13:42

But I'll be making people mad.

SPEAKER_02 13:44

Yeah, he shoots fucking just he's big, yeah, horrible. Just shoots the ball from fucking just deep. Yeah. So he likes to play. He's like, You good at it? How is it not competitive? You're keeping shots. I'm like, play me one-on-one. He's like, you know, I'll get tired. He's like, let's play the three. I'm twos and ones. I'm like, that doesn't make sense. You're just gonna try to shoot over me. And then wouldn't you? He'll hit like he'll go like one for seven. I mean, he can't shoot. No, he can't shoot. No, no, no. I don't I won't even tolerate that shit. He'll say he can.

SPEAKER_00 14:21

Man, I know when I first started playing, because I ain't played, you know. I mean, I'm old. When I went to jail, I was 43. So man, them young bucks.

SPEAKER_01 14:30

It took me a month, but once I got that month under my belt, they was like, You give Spain the ball, give him the fucking ball, you ain't getting the back, you give it back, you ain't playing with that motherfucker, you motherfucker.

SPEAKER_02 14:42

That's how they talking there. Are they slamming hot dogs? Jesus, they're not talking very well.

SPEAKER_00 14:51

Did you watch any of the Mindhunters yet?

SPEAKER_02 14:53

Nah, man.

SPEAKER_03 14:54

Man, you're a slack motherfucker.

SPEAKER_02 14:56

I like I just literally, like, my favorite, uh, you know, I haven't what I've been watching. My favorite anime just came out on Netflix. Jojo's Bizarre Adventures for all the nerds out there.

SPEAKER_00 15:06

Yeah?

SPEAKER_02 15:07

Yeah, it's fucking.

SPEAKER_00 15:08

I'll check that out.

SPEAKER_02 15:09

I mean, you can if you want. It's it's Japanese cartoons. Yeah, it's alright. All right, you might like it. There's musical references in there. I hated uh Queen. I tried to watch One Piece. That's it's a bad one to start with. Couldn't, man. Yeah, it's not a good intro. You you want something that's old, rocky. What about Chainsaw Man?

SPEAKER_03 15:32

Devil Man Crybaby might be better. My son likes Chainsaw Man.

SPEAKER_02 15:37

I don't get it, you know what I'm saying? I don't get shit like that. I don't the anime album more realistic. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_00 15:45

I don't oh, realistic anime? You're so crazy.

SPEAKER_02 15:49

You know what I'm saying? There'd be regular people, you know what I'm saying? The dogs talk, but only in their heads, you know what I'm saying? You can hear their inner monologue.

SPEAKER_00 15:58

I like uh yeah, I hear you. I I get what you're saying. How about how you ride your dragon or train a dragon? The cartoon?

SPEAKER_02 16:06

Yeah, never like that.

SPEAKER_00 16:08

That's it's garbage. See, I like that one.

SPEAKER_03 16:10

It's garbage. They made they remade it. It's still garbage.

SPEAKER_01 16:14

It's the same movie. I can't wait for it to be different. It's the same movie. They just reanimated it. You know why they're not gonna make that movie different? Because little kids watch it. Because it was perfect.

SPEAKER_02 16:23

No, because it's fucking horrible. No one watched it. Why change it if no one watched it? They didn't change it because it was brilliant. Dude, no, there was a fucking dude in there that was handicapped. He was like a gimp or something. That just ruined it for me. I cut it off after that. No, there wasn't in how to train. The dragon with no teeth and the nigga with no leg. They were the fucking teens. Somebody in there couldn't read. Like, I'm not watching that shit, dude. Fuck that. The special ad of fucking how to train your shit. I'm not watching that shit. The dragon's retarded, the boys fuck.

SPEAKER_03 16:58

Dragon's not retarded, man. Yes, he didn't have teeth. Yes, he told me don't show them. He has teeth and don't show him. The name was Toothless. Oh, yeah, you're right. You're right.

SPEAKER_02 17:08

Here I am. Like I watched this shit.

SPEAKER_03 17:10

I watched it once, dude. Yeah, you did watch it. It was like an episode. They had a show and then they had a movie. It's a movie. They had shows too on Cartoon Network. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:19

So you checked one of them out. It's a little closer to your attention span.

SPEAKER_02 17:23

Yeah, 30 minutes. 30 minutes, dude. And I need commercials. I need time to get up and go do something. Smoke a cigarette. Check your phone. Yeah. Jerk off, you know. I only need like three minutes and I'm back.

SPEAKER_00 17:35

My son, man. My son can't watch nothing in a clip.

SPEAKER_02 17:38

Dude.

SPEAKER_00 17:39

Actually, I was proud of him. Last night he fell asleep. Um, I don't know what it was, but they were talking about like Larry Bird, and back in the day when the NBA was actually rough. Uh, I heard him say something about um they were building lifetime teams on one of them games. He got the pistons, so he got uh god damn, my brain just went complete.

SPEAKER_02 18:04

Dynasty teams, what are you talking about?

SPEAKER_00 18:05

Well, they he said that the guy, I don't know. I was listening from the other room, but it was on YouTube. The guy was spinning a wheel, and every time he spun the wheel, it was to choose what team he was going to play with. So it picked the pistons. I remember that. You gotta remember, I'm half asleep now, too. Some of this might be dreams. Pick the pistons, and then the next time he spun the wheel, it was did he have to use the current pistons or could he use all-time pistons? Like he could pick anybody on the roster for hours.

SPEAKER_02 18:37

He was watching a video?

SPEAKER_00 18:38

No, yeah, yeah, yeah. He was watching a video on YouTube of a guy getting ready to play 2K or something. 2K, probably 2K.

SPEAKER_02 18:48

That's how me and Chum played. Chum's better with uh Chum's better with uh like like we played 2K and me and my homeboy Zach, the one that went to war, me and him had a set way of playing. Always. We played Hall of Fame, or maybe not, maybe it was all it was all pro. We played whatever the lowest, not lowest, but like just the casual difficulty was.

SPEAKER_00 19:10

We're playing casual, but we're playing not rookie, but the one above that.

SPEAKER_02 19:13

I mean, it's the middle, you know what I'm saying? So not even uh there's like one more in between that. You know what I'm saying? There's like intermediate, then like, you know what I'm saying, casual.

SPEAKER_00 19:22

Gotcha. What it comes on when you turn the game on. Right.

SPEAKER_02 19:24

Just the normal set. Normal, yeah. And we would use all-time teams, right? And the all-time teams is so like you don't have to use um fucking, what's the team now today? Uh fucking Lakers. And you just start in five. Nah, the Lakers is pretty good, though. They have a good starting five. Any other team, they have like a good guard and a good power forward, and then the rest of the team fucking sucks. The bench is horrible. Right. You know what I mean? But with a fucking all-time team up, this is fucking horrible. But uh, this is just bad fucking.

SPEAKER_00 19:55

No, it ain't. I'm interested.

SPEAKER_02 19:57

Yeah, but it's fucking all right. So the all-time teams, right? Me, him, pick one. Uh let's say you got the all-time Lakers and I got the all-time Heat. I got Dwayne Wade, uh Jack Butler, Shaq. I got a bunch of old anybody who ever played for fucking the Heat. Chum wants to play with new people. You know what I'm saying? So you got Maxie and fucking Joel Embiid, the turt. So he can't use him. He's on the roster, but he's on the bench. Like it's fucking, it's fucking horrible. And then he'll win, and then uh he'll be like, you can use an all-time team if you want. And then the game's either really close or fuck-I I just hate that shit, dude.

SPEAKER_00 20:37

Yeah, I like my I used to always I would make a team, and I would always build my player, and I would make myself like six-nine.

SPEAKER_02 20:46

What race would you make them? I always made myself Chinese.

SPEAKER_00 20:49

I would too.

SPEAKER_02 20:51

You know, it's just the way to do it.

SPEAKER_00 20:53

Yeah, I don't know why, but I would always make them something that there wasn't much of in the league, either or brown with like brown, like uh Brazilian with blonde hair.

SPEAKER_02 21:04

Something like that. My homeboys who are white would never make white characters because they said uh, like when you go into the park and play by like what other people, like say I'm not on and my homeboy's not on, but you really want to play, so you go to the park by yourself. Like he said they will not pass the white bot or the white computer player the ball. Really? Yeah, he said they wouldn't. Like he said, we made them black and they started giving him the ball. No shit. Swear to God.

SPEAKER_00 21:28

Just like real life.

SPEAKER_02 21:29

Yeah. Same shit. Same shit. I don't pass it to white people.

SPEAKER_00 21:33

I hear you.

SPEAKER_02 21:34

No, I do.

SPEAKER_00 21:35

Yo, uh, yeah. I I made a little bit of money and did very well for the years that I was at the top of my game because nobody thought you could play automatically.

SPEAKER_03 21:46

Yep, see.

SPEAKER_00 21:47

Can't jump, can't shoot.

SPEAKER_03 21:50

Watch this.

SPEAKER_00 21:52

Not no mortar. I'll break my knee in three places if I try to do a fucking crossover. I don't even know if I could physically do a good crossover. Anymore.

SPEAKER_02 22:00

Dev said to me, said, Why are you stretching? I was like, so I can go to work tomorrow. You know what I mean? I'll get fucked up out here. I tried to walk up my stairs at the end of the night after getting back from the mic. I literally almost fell. Like it just locked me up. How many games y'all play? Played like three games of basketball altogether. None of them full games. Yeah, so fucking. Gotta get him shapes.

SPEAKER_00 22:23

Yeah, man. Fucking uh what do you think? What do you the next big swings is on the 25th. Gabe's gonna come down. 20. Is it the 20th? I hope it ain't the 26th. You always do this. That's what I said. You always make me question. But Gabe's coming down, man, so we'll get him on a podcast too. You know that motherfucker went to uh see Ozzy Osborne last time he played.

SPEAKER_02 22:47

Yeah, man. I forgot why. Fucking Oh, we went down to his mic. Oh, that's right. And he wasn't there because uh he was in England or Poland or wherever it was. No, that last podcast is 26. That's why I'm thinking that. But uh the next one that's coming out is the 26th after this one. Before the fuck it, dude. Timelines. But uh the show is the 25th, by the way.

SPEAKER_00 23:17

Yes. Yeah, so um did you see Lady Gaga? Lady Gaga, what's wrong with Lady Gaga?

SPEAKER_03 23:24

Is she still with us? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:26

I didn't know.

SPEAKER_03 23:26

You know she's Jewish. Is she? Mm-hmm. Ugh.

unknown 23:30

Kidding.

SPEAKER_02 23:31

Lady Gogs, what's up with her? Is she hurt?

SPEAKER_00 23:34

Nah, man, I don't know. She started canceling shows. I thought you might not you might know.

SPEAKER_03 23:38

You think I'm into that?

SPEAKER_00 23:39

Like Man, she just, I don't know. She just might be in your fucking in my wheelhouse. In your wheelhouse, in your universe. I'll start looking into her. I'll tell you what, she was hot on that movie, man. That uh where with that she was with uh Bradley Cooper.

SPEAKER_03 23:56

See, every time I think Lady, like I don't even know who I picture in my mind.

SPEAKER_00 23:59

Like Lady Gaga looks like a bunch of different people, man.

SPEAKER_02 24:02

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking.

SPEAKER_00 24:03

Like the Lady Gaga that was on American Horror Story is a total different Lady Gaga than that was on A Star Is Born, I think is what that's called, when she's on that movie with Bradley Cooper. And spoiler alert, he kills himself. A Star is Born? Yeah. She falls in love with him. He's famous, she's not. But she gets famous through him and gets way bigger than him. She turns into a pop star and he just wants to play his guitar. He ends up uh getting addicted to pills and hanging himself in a garage.

SPEAKER_02 24:36

Sounds like a mica's wife.

SPEAKER_00 24:42

Shit, sorry. Sorry for snorting at Mike. You know, you know what Charlie's Angels is?

SPEAKER_02 24:48

I never seen it, but uh every time I'm with a group of women, I like to call them my angels. Like that in reference to Charlie's Angels.

SPEAKER_00 24:55

Charlie You say you've never seen it? Nope. So Charlie's Angels were like bad bitches, right?

SPEAKER_02 25:00

Went out and did missions, I know, right?

SPEAKER_00 25:03

And Charlie was like the pimp. But he's like old and white. Old and white. Yeah. And they kind of hated him but loved him at the same time. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_03 25:12

They hate daddy, but they love daddy.

SPEAKER_00 25:14

Especially if you listen to uh I get it.

SPEAKER_02 25:19

I get what's going on. I'm picking up your pimp.

SPEAKER_00 25:23

Especially if you look especially the killbell version. Because that's kind of because Lucy Lou and uh what's the other chick's name with the blonde hair? Suzy Q. Yeah, Lucy Lou and Suzy.

SPEAKER_01 25:37

You're bullshitting, am I right?

SPEAKER_02 25:41

Look, in JoJo, uh one of the main like chicks, his name is Suzy Q. Yeah. Yeah, they do references and shit like that all the time.

SPEAKER_00 25:49

Oh, I like that. Anyway, 50 years since the original what's the names? And they gotta put a picture. You seen that gay shit, dude. They put a picture, he put a picture of themselves out, like doing Charlie's Angels pose.

SPEAKER_03 26:05

Uh uh. Um, you know what?

SPEAKER_00 26:09

I'd fucking knock them off if I was 75, you know what I'm saying? For sure. But it's a lot of work. Millions of dollars of surgery.

SPEAKER_02 26:19

I mean, hey, dude, you gotta pay to play.

SPEAKER_00 26:24

You know what? Um, alright. I was gonna do this, but this is too serious. Um let's do a uh headline, you ready? Alright. You know about Artemis? No. Okay. NASA's Artemis 2. Moon astronauts make first ever ship-to-ship call to ISS. What do you think that means?

SPEAKER_02 26:55

Artemis is a ship, like a spaceship.

SPEAKER_00 26:58

I think so, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:00

Someone just recently told me that the moon landing could have been faked in a studio with like strippers and cocaine and prostitutes. So I think I want to believe that.

SPEAKER_00 27:10

Uh because the flag moved.

SPEAKER_02 27:13

Yep. They said the flag moved and like something else happened. I don't know if I'll believe it anyway, but I don't know what all them other words you were saying. Like, I can only remember Artemis. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 27:24

I'll read it again.

SPEAKER_02 27:25

All right.

SPEAKER_00 27:26

NASA's Artemis II Moon astronauts make first ever ship to ship call to ISS.

SPEAKER_02 27:36

So does that mean Artemis is still up? Well, to ISS. They call it ISS. Who is that?

SPEAKER_00 27:42

I have no idea. When I first read the Highline, I thought it said ISIS.

SPEAKER_01 27:47

Why do you go to the moon and call ISIS, man?

SPEAKER_00 27:49

Make some bitches. Ran all the way to the fucking moon. Hey, motherfucker. Hey, calm down.

SPEAKER_02 27:57

Yeah. Release the Jews. Let them go.

SPEAKER_03 28:02

We're calling from space. Release the Jews. Sounds like you know, like got a pack of like snarling things.

SPEAKER_01 28:11

Release the Jews.

SPEAKER_02 28:13

It wouldn't be that fucking crazy, though. It would just be like Ow, you stepped on my foot. Get the fuck out of here. Stop drilling on me.

SPEAKER_00 28:24

When is uh when is our favorite coming down? He's coming down soon. We didn't get a uh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:34

Did you give him a date?

SPEAKER_00 28:36

I mean, I can't remember. I thought for sure that he was supposed to come sit down with us. Maybe it was last week.

SPEAKER_02 28:41

I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 28:42

Man, I might have to stop smoking weed. This one's got like 3.9 terps. And it makes me fucking like feel like I'm gonna spin out. You know you got some friends, man, that like like a real like friends, friends. Like I got a dude when I was in the can. That motherfucker. First of all, all right. I was in when I was in the can, it was during COVID, so it was no visits. So you never left the tear. So when you got a letter, it was like, oh my god, it was like the best thing. It was just a a a blit a bump in a normal, like you're going in a cycle where you're doing the same shit every day, every day, every day. And then you get a letter and it breaks it up. It really makes a big fucking difference, man. My boy uh Tyler Clay wrote me all these letters and we're cracking jokes and shit. He got a brother named Travis. He got his whole he got his whole head zipper back. He had brain surgery. This dude was wild is wild. We'll have him on the podcast. He's a talented fucking dude, man. He's real smart, real smart. Uh-uh. He just he loves it.

SPEAKER_02 29:58

Joe, I can't. Why? I'm not good with shit like that.

SPEAKER_00 30:02

Oh, it's healed now.

SPEAKER_02 30:04

But dude, if he's like, he might do some funny shit with it where he makes it move funny.

SPEAKER_00 30:08

Dude, he's so smart. That whole family is so smart. His sister, um, when I was in college, his sister was my drinking buddy. We would we would get like a 30-pack of red dog. Oh, that bitch could drink, man. Now she's a teacher or something. But she could drink. She probably still does. Probably. She probably. Anyway, so one time Travis, one time Travis was in my house and we got all fucked up. And he went to sleep on my on my couch. I wake up in the morning, I see this motherfucker running to his car. Like running.

unknown 30:38

And I'm like, what the fuck?

SPEAKER_00 30:39

So I just roll over and go back to sleep. A little while later, we get up, making something to eat. Michelle sits on the couch and she's like, What the fuck? And I'm like, what? She said the couch is all wet. Oh God. So I was like, what the f I was like, oh my God. Take this. So it was a s it was one of the ones that got a mattress rolled up in it, a fold out. Oh god. But he didn't fold it out. He was just sleeping on it as a couch and pissed so many times that there was a it went all the way through the mattress and there was a pole on the floor like five feet around. And he didn't even try to clean it up. He just he just ran. You know what I mean? And I was so mad. He probably didn't think he could do anything about it. Poor guy, man. He was all discombobulated.

SPEAKER_02 31:24

God, that shit's so sick. Scary.

SPEAKER_00 31:27

Oh. I got um a homeboy in Atlanta's name, Timmy, man. He can speak every language, but like not for real. Like it ain't really sad. Like, if you don't know the language, you'd think he's speaking the language. This shit is fucking hilarious, man. I can't do it, man. He's fucking he can do it perfect. Um do you know what? I don't know what that says, kinda. Palantir technology is?

SPEAKER_02 31:58

No clue.

SPEAKER_00 31:59

Evidently, there's this company that watches us. Did you know that?

SPEAKER_02 32:07

Dude, if they're watching me, they're as gross as I am. Yeah, right. What are they gonna see? Yeah, just disgust. You want me to tell you what they're gonna see?

SPEAKER_01 32:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:17

A lot of weird jerking off styles. You know what I'm saying? Some shit you ain't never seen before.

SPEAKER_01 32:21

Oh man.

SPEAKER_02 32:22

Like me jerking off at my wall. You know what I mean? Like it took something from me and I'm like I'm robbing it.

SPEAKER_01 32:30

You're holding the wall up with your dick.

SPEAKER_02 32:33

Oh, this wild shit. Jerked off in my basement one time. There's no need. It's an unfinished basement. There's nothing sexy in there. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 32:41

I remember getting out getting a towel, lighting candles.

SPEAKER_02 32:44

No, never denertion.

SPEAKER_00 32:46

I used to do shit like when because my mom was a hover mom. She was psychotic, you know what I'm saying? So when I got a little bit of privacy, I made love.

SPEAKER_02 32:55

I made love. God, dude. I'm just trying to get it out of me as quick as possible. You're making love to shit. Seems like I need a towel.

SPEAKER_00 33:05

I had to get up. And a candle. Get a wash rag and some hot vaseline.

SPEAKER_02 33:09

What the fuck? See, I never expect yo. I I used doll soap one time, like hand soap. Oh, it burns your pee holes. Yeah. Yeah, I never use anything else.

SPEAKER_00 33:18

It does burn your peehole, man. I tried.

SPEAKER_02 33:21

I thought I gave myself AIDS.

SPEAKER_00 33:23

You know, I tell the joke about the hair grease.

SPEAKER_02 33:25

Oh, God. That shit didn't burn?

SPEAKER_00 33:27

No.

SPEAKER_02 33:28

Uh-uh.

SPEAKER_00 33:28

I only did it one time. Smelled wonderful. You know. It's not like a kave.

SPEAKER_02 33:35

That's usually what they put. No, I can't remember where magic.

SPEAKER_00 33:38

Yeah, I think that's the one. It was a jail. It was like blue before.

SPEAKER_02 33:42

Like Don Cornelius.

SPEAKER_00 33:46

They used to take it in a shower, man. I I couldn't do it.

SPEAKER_02 33:49

That shit's so odd, bro.

SPEAKER_00 33:51

Like, I can't like I can't jerk off like touching a guy.

SPEAKER_02 33:54

I wouldn't be like like trying to like add on to the jerk. You know what I'm saying? Like add on to the sensations in there. Like, like lotion, dude. Come on. Just yeah. If you need spit, man, just something. Just fucking.

SPEAKER_00 34:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 34:08

I wouldn't try to like make it.

SPEAKER_00 34:09

I mean, there's no privacy, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_02 34:11

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:13

If you got a Sally. It's nice if you don't have a Sally. Then you just come everywhere.

SPEAKER_02 34:17

It takes longer with lotion. How sad is that? If I'm in jail with no Sally. Just jerking off jerking everywhere. Stinks.

SPEAKER_00 34:26

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 34:26

That's a lingering nut smell.

SPEAKER_00 34:28

Oh, that's why you got can't use spit. You gotta use hair grease.

SPEAKER_02 34:31

Yeah. Spit and come. Jeez.

SPEAKER_00 34:34

Smell like mustard.

SPEAKER_02 34:36

Like mustard tea. Smell like crash-up cumin in here. What's going on?

SPEAKER_01 34:47

They come in there and tell me to break it up, and it's just me. Break it up in there. Oh god. Throw a flashbanger in. Strangle myself by the penis with a blanket. What the fuck is going on in there? Not even trying to kill my trying to kick out my penis.

SPEAKER_03 35:21

Quit beating that man. That's not a man. It's a dick. Oh my Jesus.

SPEAKER_00 35:27

Oh fuck. You know who um you know who Ray Stevens is?

SPEAKER_02 35:32

No, he started talking about him. I'm sure I know. What'd he do?

SPEAKER_00 35:38

Well, first of all. All right, here's here's a little little this is Ray Stevens, all right.

SPEAKER_06 35:49

Supermarket. There seems to have been some disturbance here. Pardon me, sir. Did you see what happened?

SPEAKER_05 35:55

Yeah, I did. I was standing over by the domaters and Gary Cup. Running to the pole thing to the fruits and veggies. Fruits as a jaybird. Apples over in the jams, jellies, preserves, and packles. I hollered over and I said, Don't look at them! Don't look at those! She dropped a whole jar of cumquats and fell back into the sweet bitches. She done been.

SPEAKER_00 36:23

Never heard of it? Call him the street. No, nothing. No, man. This guy fucking he fell and broke his neck. And died? No, he's not dead. He said he's in good spirits.

SPEAKER_02 36:48

No way. He's recording shit like this in good spirits. There's no way. Oh Jesus. Can't be in good spirit recording shit like that.

SPEAKER_00 37:01

Man, his greatest is he's got the um remember when Jess was here? Oh she was talking about the song uh that's when the squirrel went berserk. Me and her were singing it, and you were like, What? That's Ray Stevens, too. Motherfucker broke his neck. Recently?

SPEAKER_03 37:18

Yeah, man.

SPEAKER_00 37:18

Like now, he's like fucking old too. How'd he do it?

SPEAKER_02 37:22

I don't know how you think he did it. I think someone done it like two, like he was like around the wrong crowd of people, and he's like, I didn't do this one berserk. And then they're like, what? Then I hit him. Yeah, DDT'd him. DDT'd his white ass. He was trying to rehearse that shit.

SPEAKER_00 37:42

I have a cough button and I never use it. Yeah, um, that's probably a how do you get your neck broke when you're like 80, man? You shouldn't be doing, you know what I mean? Sneezed then. I didn't know he was 80. He's gotta be. He he was old when I was a kid, and I'm old, so all right, you ready for this one? This is a Bloomberg headline why a why. No, it doesn't say that. Why Red Lobster is in trouble?

SPEAKER_02 38:13

Because their food stinks.

SPEAKER_00 38:15

That's probably why. I I I should have written that down before I said that.

SPEAKER_02 38:19

I knew you were gonna say that's horrible.

SPEAKER_00 38:21

My son loves Red Lobster.

SPEAKER_02 38:23

I thought I did too until I went and I was like, this shit stinks.

SPEAKER_00 38:26

Man, he loves it. He gets the uh we get the ultimate feast. He gets the admiral's feast. No.

SPEAKER_02 38:32

That's what I get.

SPEAKER_00 38:32

What's the what's the difference between the ultimate and the admirals?

SPEAKER_02 38:35

Oh, I thought like the ultimate was just a big like list of it. I don't know. Like the thing about it is I go to Red Lobster and I just want lobster, and that's not and on any of the options. It's like lobster scampi with like little bites and yeah, all that bullshit. I think the uh I don't know what you're getting. You explain to me what you're getting.

SPEAKER_00 38:54

I get the ultimate feast comes with shrimp scampy, lobster tail, yeah. Snow crab, legs, the big ones, um, fried shrimp.

SPEAKER_02 39:07

Scallops.

SPEAKER_00 39:08

Maybe scallops.

SPEAKER_02 39:09

No way. Frill, everything. I would have got that.

SPEAKER_00 39:11

Yeah, it's the most expensive thing on the menu.

SPEAKER_02 39:14

What is it like 60 bucks?

SPEAKER_00 39:15

No, it's not even that much.

SPEAKER_02 39:16

Like 40?

SPEAKER_00 39:17

40 or 50, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 39:18

The Admiral's feast is like 35. It's like uh fried shrimp, scallops, uh fish, and something else, but I substitute the fish because I'm allergic to extra scallops.

SPEAKER_00 39:29

Yeah, no fish on the ultimate feast either. My my son loves that shit and the biscuits.

SPEAKER_02 39:35

It used to be better, I think.

SPEAKER_00 39:37

I haven't been in so long.

SPEAKER_02 39:38

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I think back in the day it used to be better. I remember getting started from there. Like, I think lobster just used to taste better.

SPEAKER_00 39:45

I think my boy in Rye, New Hampshire has a restaurant. It's called Pete's. It's right on the Atlantic Ocean. They do uh, they got a special, it's soft shell lobsters. So like it's not really, they're not really soft shell, but it's before they get all big and spiny. And man, you can get two soft shell lobsters, two sides, a salad, and um soup, and they got the best goddamn soup anywhere, man. And it's only like 30 bucks or whatever. But he's he's got like 5,000 lobster pots. He's going out in the morning and getting them himself.

SPEAKER_02 40:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:24

Man, that shit is so good. But it's like a six-hour ride from here.

SPEAKER_02 40:27

I love all that type shit. Seafood. I'm a snob, like I'm not a snob because I always shitty seafood from like a gas station. I don't give a fuck. Yeah, I can't fuck with no gas station seafood. Well, not really gas. You've seen me where I get it from. Like small pizzeria, you know. Yeah. Italian pizza shops with uh rambi Hispanics. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:46

That's what you like. Damn.

SPEAKER_02 40:49

Anybody can boil and fry seafood, I would assume.

SPEAKER_00 40:52

Steam it, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'd hope. Man, I'm telling you, bro, we'll have to go there. When we go up north to do some shows, I'll take you to Pete's. Dude, hell yeah. It's so good. It's worth it's like an hour from anything. You know what I mean? It's out of the way, but god damn, it's good, man. He used to have these little cottages, so he's like a friend of a friend. So he put me and my wife in one of these little cottages for a couple days, and we just eat every meal at his at his place, man. It was so fucking good.

SPEAKER_02 41:20

That's what I thought I was gonna be eating when I went on a cruise. I was like, where's the lobsters? They limit it now. There was no lobster.

SPEAKER_00 41:27

What line? What cruise line was it?

SPEAKER_02 41:28

The Negro one. Which one is that? Uh Royal Caribbean. That's what I went on. Nah, dude. You went on like Royal Caribbean white or something. Nope.

SPEAKER_00 41:36

Royal Caribbean, like it was almost all black people, honestly.

SPEAKER_02 41:39

Nah, dude. This was uh it had to be.

SPEAKER_00 41:41

This was all black and brown people because I got it for free. It was one of them ones where you had to go see a uh like a timeshare prep presentation as long as everything's free. As long as you go to the presentation, all you gotta pay for is tax. Uh, three hours, I think. You gotta sit there for three hours and that's it. And yeah. And they make it real hard not to buy nothing.

SPEAKER_02 42:00

I'm like, buy some cocaine.

unknown 42:03

Like, shit.

SPEAKER_02 42:05

I talk to him. He won't he won't want to talk to me. He won't want to be a couple of things. Let me tell you something. Let me try to sell you this cruise to Jamaica. Let me try to sell you a trip to Seaford. Start going in a car.

SPEAKER_00 42:22

Getting a car. All right. A BBC article. You ready for this one? Yeah. This is gonna be hard. This is gonna be interesting.

SPEAKER_02 42:31

Nah, man. I'm up, I'm up on shit like that. Like real news, I'm up on real.

SPEAKER_00 42:35

I don't know. I don't know what these could be, but we're gonna find out.

SPEAKER_02 42:38

The intro to BBC scared me for years.

SPEAKER_00 42:40

Did it?

SPEAKER_02 42:41

Oh, dude. I don't know why. As a kid, it just horrified me. I thought like people were about to start dying. Yeah. I guess I'm right now, but people were like, I I swore people were gonna get like beheaded or something. So I always like. Why? I was afraid, dude.

SPEAKER_00 42:52

I mean, what about it?

SPEAKER_02 42:54

The animation. It was literally just like letters flying around.

SPEAKER_00 42:57

It's because it's so fast.

SPEAKER_02 42:58

It's like, ah, people are gonna die. Music. You know, it's very fucking it gets your blood pumping.

SPEAKER_00 43:03

Now that I know that, I want to see it again.

SPEAKER_02 43:06

Look up from like 20 like 10.

SPEAKER_00 43:09

All right. BBC intro. Intro, yeah. All right. All right. This is from the BBC Big Batcock. Seven animals that can kill a rhino.

SPEAKER_02 43:22

You don't have any of these animals, I'm a screen.

SPEAKER_00 43:24

Of course not, no.

SPEAKER_02 43:25

Alright.

SPEAKER_00 43:25

I think a dragon's one.

SPEAKER_02 43:27

It's not even real, dude. What you think? That toothless dragon can fucking take out fucking.

SPEAKER_00 43:33

Yeah. What's the boy's name in that movie?

SPEAKER_02 43:36

I was about to say something really mean. Fucking rutabaga. That's what I'll call him. Fucking Spud.

SPEAKER_00 43:42

I wish I did remember Vegetable.

SPEAKER_02 43:44

That's his name.

SPEAKER_00 43:45

Spud. I think his name might be Spud.

SPEAKER_02 43:47

It's not. It's something so goddamn dumb. I'll look it up.

SPEAKER_00 43:51

What do you think? A uh a great white shark can kill a rhino.

SPEAKER_02 43:55

And like if a rhino's in the water. I don't think it's water.

SPEAKER_00 44:05

I think you're right. I think elephants won.

SPEAKER_02 44:08

What if a rhino goes that point? A rhino can take out a rhino. I think it's a good, it's a good point, dude. It's a good point I bring up. They didn't think about that.

SPEAKER_00 44:21

That's true. I think you're right. About um, let's see. Giant squid. Like the one on the Kraken bottle.

SPEAKER_02 44:33

I'm gonna assume that, like, you know.

SPEAKER_00 44:35

Rhiners are pretty, pretty dumb in the water.

SPEAKER_02 44:38

How are they getting to the water?

SPEAKER_01 44:40

Walking. What do you mean? I don't understand. Rumble, rumble, rumble.

SPEAKER_02 44:46

And they just don't assume. And they know they can't swim.

SPEAKER_00 44:51

How do you know they can't swim?

SPEAKER_02 44:52

You're right. They're dumb. Fuck it. A hippopotamus. Let's go with all water animals.

SPEAKER_00 44:58

Okay, because that's your weakness.

SPEAKER_02 45:00

Yeah, it's water. A water dragon. Have we said that yet?

SPEAKER_00 45:03

Uh-oh. That should be good. Quicksand. I bet quicksand. Oh, quicksand's not a sand.

SPEAKER_02 45:07

It's not an animal. All right.

SPEAKER_03 45:09

Snails.

SPEAKER_00 45:10

Snails in the water? I don't think they're that weak in the water.

SPEAKER_02 45:13

They would take me down.

SPEAKER_00 45:15

What snail?

SPEAKER_02 45:16

Any.

SPEAKER_00 45:16

Yeah, you don't like them. Nope. Would you eat them?

SPEAKER_02 45:18

No, yeah, I would. I would eat them.

SPEAKER_00 45:20

As cargo.

SPEAKER_02 45:21

They had to be like I'd had to see them be cooked to know they weren't going to move.

SPEAKER_00 45:25

It's good. You know, when I was in Dominican Republic, man, they were getting these clam things and they're popping them open.

SPEAKER_02 45:32

With their butts, the bitches popping over with their big, tenacious Brazilian asses.

SPEAKER_00 45:38

Not Brazil. Dominican.

SPEAKER_02 45:41

Same thing.

SPEAKER_00 45:42

Same dog. No. They use a stray dog's mouth. Crack them up and then he took this machete and he cut it up. And then he got these four or five little jars of something and put it on. Man, that shit was so good. I kept sucking them down and sucking them down. And then a guy told me he was gonna kill my family.

SPEAKER_02 46:00

Oh God.

SPEAKER_00 46:02

Yep, that's the DR.

SPEAKER_02 46:03

Enjoy some cock, some fucking some conch cocktails. Yeah, conch good too. Conch is good.

SPEAKER_00 46:10

Yeah, me too. I love it. I love it. I like when you you order them bitches and you hear them back there. Tac, tack, tack, tack, tack, tack. You know that shit's fresh. Um, all right. Let's think about this for real. How about an Anaconda? No, Ryan.

SPEAKER_02 46:23

I mean, I think, man, I don't know. I know snakes are like there are some snakes that are big as shit. Like a fucking uh a bow constrictor.

SPEAKER_00 46:32

I'm being swallowed by a boa constrictor.

SPEAKER_02 46:37

Where do you know these songs from?

SPEAKER_00 46:38

That's from my childhood. Oh shucks. No. OG, he's up to my knee. And I don't remember the ones in the middle. Oh, fiddle, he's up to my middle.

SPEAKER_02 46:49

What is this like this? Can't be about oh heck, he's up to my Yo, this is like an all-boys something. Same thing like Catholic school, right?

SPEAKER_00 47:01

Nah, man.

SPEAKER_03 47:03

God, that's even worse.

SPEAKER_00 47:05

You're making you learn these songs. I man, I remember a lot of them songs. Stirring and stirring and stirring my brew.

unknown 47:13

Ooh. Ooh.

SPEAKER_00 47:17

That one used to freak me out. I was scared of that one. Yeah, yeah. Because then you go tiptoe, tiptoe, tiptoe. Boo!

SPEAKER_02 47:25

And everybody goes, Dude, I don't know how I was like a night janitor at like that fucking big ass fucking office place I was at.

SPEAKER_00 47:33

Porque no?

SPEAKER_02 47:34

Dude, no, I don't know how, man. I mean, that place was huge, and I'm afraid of the dark. So like I would have to turn lights on. Dude. And they were like motion sensors, so you just walk, and one time uh like I would have my music on all the way up, walking through like the cubicles, and then all the lights would be. See, that's dangerous. Yeah, I guess. But like that security artists, like, you know, teenagers. They were like literally younger than me, so and they didn't have any guns, so we would have got fucked up.

SPEAKER_00 48:01

What did they have?

SPEAKER_02 48:02

They had this one dude that kind of looked like Jaden Smith, and I always knew that in case of emergency, he he'd snuggle with me, you know. Yeah, I don't know if he'd protect anything, but he'd be comfortable.

SPEAKER_00 48:14

Protect your cock in his mouth.

SPEAKER_02 48:15

Yeah, yeah, literally. I'd get him to suck my dick, and I'd be the one he'd protecting everyone from, you know. But fucking, yeah, man.

SPEAKER_00 48:23

Could he kill a rhino?

SPEAKER_02 48:25

Nah, dude, rhino would stomp this motherfucker. There's this Haitian dude named Ralph. Ralph could have killed a rhino.

SPEAKER_00 48:31

One rhino?

SPEAKER_02 48:32

One Ralph, one Ralph.

SPEAKER_00 48:34

One Ralph could kill one rhino.

SPEAKER_02 48:36

He could kill a like a couple.

SPEAKER_00 48:38

Really? Yeah. I bet rhino tastes kind of gamey.

SPEAKER_02 48:41

What's the best part, you think?

SPEAKER_00 48:43

Rhino's got horns? Probably the knuckle. Rhino knuckles. Uh-huh. The big big super good big horn.

SPEAKER_02 48:52

I'd assume like that fucking part of the skin. Yeah, the skin right under that. Ooh, yeah, you're probably right. Like hump on a on a camel.

SPEAKER_00 49:01

Camel, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 49:02

That shit seems I would you eat camel?

SPEAKER_00 49:04

Yeah, I have eaten camel.

SPEAKER_02 49:06

What? Yeah, man.

SPEAKER_00 49:08

Dude, you went there with me. That burger place in Baltimore. Yeah, Abyss. They had camel? Yep, they have camel. And they serve it on a toasted, some kind of weird toasted roll with peanut butter. And it's good. Yeah, dude. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 49:22

Might gotta boycott them.

SPEAKER_00 49:24

Fucking odd, man, but it's delicious.

SPEAKER_02 49:26

I would I want to try that bison burger next time we're up there. That's super good. I don't know about the camel. I don't like peanut butter, so I wouldn't try that.

SPEAKER_00 49:33

I was like, I'm not doing it. The guy promised me. He was like, man, it's my favorite one on the menu. So I was all right. So when it was over in the Pisi Alley, not when it was in Fells Point. Alright. So we don't know any animals that can kill rhinos. Piranhas. Piranhas can kill a rhinos.

SPEAKER_02 49:48

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 49:48

Definitely.

SPEAKER_02 49:50

What about a bass?

SPEAKER_00 49:52

Mmm. It'd have to be a big fucking bass.

SPEAKER_02 49:55

Right, yeah. Right. Small at hole. What was I thinking?

SPEAKER_00 50:08

All right, last one. Family missing for seven days. Found alive, floating in the Pacific.

SPEAKER_02 50:19

Just floating?

SPEAKER_00 50:21

God. Seven. Two guys and a girl. For seven days. I wonder if they ate any parts of the other ones. Seven days a long time in no water, man.

SPEAKER_02 50:31

Yeah, and they were in the water for. I'd imagine you couldn't be in water for that long.

SPEAKER_00 50:36

You know what the uh start turning into a fucking fish. The crazy Yeah. Plus, if you drink salt water, it'll make you crazy. Mm-hmm. Make you see shit. Fucking think you can swim sharks and think that the sirens are called. Yeah, I think I think that's what they said the sirens were back in the like just dehydration. Dehydration and scurvy. Because they had no citrus fruits.

SPEAKER_02 51:01

Scurvy. Gotta say that a type way.

SPEAKER_00 51:06

So they said that they got saved by the uh by the um Coast Guard. Guess what the boat name was? What? Midget.

SPEAKER_02 51:15

That was the boat name. They deserved it.

SPEAKER_00 51:18

Cutter midget. Served them all. Oh my goodness. I didn't think you could say that anymore.

SPEAKER_02 51:22

That's a slur in some communities. I know. I know. Heard that.

SPEAKER_00 51:27

What do you got coming up, body? Do we got anything coming up besides big swings?

SPEAKER_02 51:31

Uh what month are we in? April? I think it's April. Yeah, it's April. This will be coming out like at the end of April, right?

SPEAKER_00 51:41

Yeah, this will be coming out right before Big Swings.

SPEAKER_02 51:45

I'll be at the church satire again. They're asking me to come back. Obviously, it wasn't May 2nd. That's pretty deep out. Uh we got big swings. Yep, big swings. April 25th at Dream Big Menu. JoeSpin Comedy, JoeSpin.com to get those tickets. And uh just got the word earlier I will be featuring for Keith Prinnell at CC22. Nice! Yeah, man. Look out for that. That'll be fun. Yeah, man. What do you got?

SPEAKER_00 52:19

Keith's funny.

SPEAKER_02 52:20

Hell yeah. What do you mean by that, Jim? Am I not?

SPEAKER_00 52:23

No, I didn't mean that at all.

SPEAKER_02 52:25

Am I not funny, Jill?

SPEAKER_00 52:26

Sorry we're cutting it short. I got a fucking piss and I don't feel like pausing.

SPEAKER_02 52:29

You're giving me I got a place to go. I might have some women.

SPEAKER_00 52:33

We didn't do dating, so we'll do that next time. Yeah. All right. All right, buddy. I love you, man.

SPEAKER_02 52:37

All right, man. What do you got?

SPEAKER_00 52:38

Oh, I got fucking uh big swings. Big swings. Uh May 1st. We're at the uh at the club doing something. You're coming too. You just don't know it yet. All right, man. Thank you, buddy.