Episode #28 OGYN Podcast The Amazing Michelle Lynn Puller Spain the third

     Thank you to everyone listening.  We love doin it and the live shows have been amazing.  We love seeing everyone out. go to joespaincomedy.com for all dates.

     In this episode we sit down with the wonderful Michelle Lynn Puller Spain the third.  Michelle and Joe have been together almost 25 years so this made for a good conversation with young Izzy.  They discuss Michelles life and jobs and family and passions. Of course the guys talk Izzy dating and they all do headlines together.  Fun episode. 

     Joe and Izzy chop it up and tackle all the tough issues with comedy. Live Show tix joespaincomedy.com 

Thank you to everyone who laughs with us. Please Like, Share and comment to keep us improving. Spread the laughter. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_09 0:16

Welcome to another OGYM podcast. I'm Joe Stein here with my man Isaac. Hey, buddy boy. How are you? I'm good, man. I know I can't keep the lid on it off. I'm good, man. I'm good. I'm better now that I'm sitting here. I was getting ready to have an episode, but I stopped myself. Getting ready to spin out like a Tasmanian devil. We're happy to have. Guess who we got with us this week? Oh my God. Like you can't see her. My wife, Michelle Lindpolar Spain.

SPEAKER_07 0:51

Oh shit. We don't got no sounds, man. Give her a sound.

SPEAKER_03 1:00

Thank you, thank you.

SPEAKER_09 1:02

You gotta talk it to the mic when you talk. Thank you, thank you. All right. How you doing, baby?

SPEAKER_03 1:08

I'm good. How are you?

SPEAKER_09 1:10

Very good. I know this will be easy once we get going.

SPEAKER_01 1:14

Sure.

SPEAKER_09 1:14

Sure. No, that this beat a motherfucking time. You don't want to talk. You know what I'm saying? Don't get any other time.

SPEAKER_03 1:22

I ain't trying to, you know, go go too hard too fast.

SPEAKER_09 1:26

Since when?

SPEAKER_01 1:30

Valid.

SPEAKER_09 1:31

Valid. Excuse me. Yeah, I got a little bit of butter. What's this button do? Oh, I forgot. Yeah, you think so? Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:42

Not tonight, but future episodes, I'm sure.

SPEAKER_09 1:45

Uh-huh. You know, um, we got big swings this weekend. Gabe said Gabe said he's not uh gonna be able to do a pod.

SPEAKER_06 1:53

No.

SPEAKER_09 1:53

We're gonna have to do it another time. You gotta uh you won't be there, will you? This will come out after that anyway.

SPEAKER_03 2:01

Yeah, I was I thought about that, about talking about my show, but yeah, it'll be over by the time this gets put up.

SPEAKER_09 2:08

Yeah. It'll be Thursday. No, it won't.

SPEAKER_03 2:11

I thought you guys were one week behind.

SPEAKER_09 2:13

We are because we were lazy last week.

SPEAKER_03 2:15

Oh, you caught up?

SPEAKER_09 2:16

Yep. This comes out Thursday.

SPEAKER_03 2:18

So you don't have one in the can.

SPEAKER_09 2:20

Do not have one in the can.

SPEAKER_07 2:21

You gotta get one in there.

SPEAKER_09 2:23

Put one in the can.

SPEAKER_03 2:24

Well, don't let it be this one. Because if this can come out on Thursday, that would be great.

SPEAKER_09 2:27

Yeah. It'll come out on Thursday.

SPEAKER_03 2:29

Know about my show.

SPEAKER_09 2:31

All right. You know how I want to run this? How? I want you to ask her things that you ain't been able to ask her. Because I sit down and talk to her all my fucking time. And like sometimes, man, like on the way to you know, shows or mics or whatever, she just talks the whole way and I just listen to her. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_03 2:51

I don't do that anymore when you when we're on the way to comedy.

SPEAKER_09 2:54

Well, mics, you do.

SPEAKER_03 2:55

Unless you're not um You did last night.

SPEAKER_09 2:59

It was okay. I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_03 3:00

I mean it's no material Monday. That doesn't count.

SPEAKER_09 3:02

Yeah, you're right. No material Monday.

SPEAKER_03 3:04

No material trying to give you some shit to talk about.

SPEAKER_09 3:06

I don't want to be in a bad mood, you know what I'm saying? Like I don't wanna be talking us be talking about some heavy ass family shit or something, and then get there and take it out on a whole room full of people, especially if they're paying to see me fucking make them laugh.

SPEAKER_03 3:19

Yeah, we had a couple of occasions in the past, which you probably heard about.

SPEAKER_07 3:23

No, I don't know. I've I've had my own.

SPEAKER_03 3:25

Where we were on our way to a show, paid shows that he's been booked on, and I'm ranting and raving about some dumb shit. And it puts him in a bad mood, and then he does not do well on stage, and then of course blames it on me.

SPEAKER_07 3:42

So I decided on somebody.

SPEAKER_03 3:44

No, look, I decided that after like the second or third time that he did that, I was like, if we're on our way to a show, I ain't gonna talk no more. That way, when this motherfucker bombs, he can't blame it on me no more.

SPEAKER_09 3:58

I haven't bombed in a while. I shouldn't say that out loud. No, you shouldn't have. Here it comes. Actually, I kind of bombed Monday.

SPEAKER_03 4:08

I didn't actually, yeah, you didn't do too well at dreaming.

SPEAKER_07 4:12

I had wobbly legs. I think uh Collins like just started hoosting. I feel like that probably had something to do with it. Uh it felt weird when I got up there a little bit. Right. But it could have been me. Everybody was high as shit. That's the other thing. I was fucked.

SPEAKER_03 4:26

That's what it was. Man. Everybody was like, literally, like seven different comics were like, I'm too high for this. Yeah on stage. Back to back to you today.

SPEAKER_09 4:36

They were like Yeah, my fucking I was blazed. My brain would not work. It was locked up. Yeah, I was trying to riff on some shit, and my words just wouldn't come out.

SPEAKER_03 4:47

Baby, do you realize that you did your entire set like this? Did you notice this? Izzy, he had his Nobody can see you. I'm you too can.

SPEAKER_09 4:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 4:56

I don't care if they can't. I'm gonna describe it. Okay. All right. Open. He had his left foot on the base of the microphone, and his right foot was all the way back like this on the back of the back edge of the stage, and he did his whole set like this. Lean forward like this.

SPEAKER_09 5:12

I don't know why I did that.

SPEAKER_03 5:13

Well, what's up, guys?

SPEAKER_09 5:14

I've been working out this, I've been working out this thing where I don't touch the mic. Yeah, I was about to say, I remember you doing that somewhere else.

SPEAKER_03 5:20

Oh, is that why your hands were like this?

SPEAKER_09 5:22

I gotta put my hands back like chicken wings, or I've touched the mic, so I gotta like hide them. You know what I'm saying? If I don't hold my arm my hands under my armpits like that, I touch the microphone.

SPEAKER_03 5:33

But why don't you want to hold the microphone? Well, I just trying something different. Oh, okay, I got you.

SPEAKER_09 5:38

Yeah, because I always hold hold the microphone and walk around, and you know what I'm saying? I see some people they just stand there, and that's kind of boring. I I got a homeboy. For me, for me. I was about to say no, that's your thing, man. I got uh my homeboy belly button down in Nashville. He said, he asked me, he said, Man, do you stand there, stand hold bottom behind the mic stand like a white person? I said, Oh god. What? He said, you know, like you're trying to hide behind the mic stand.

SPEAKER_05 6:12

No, I don't.

SPEAKER_07 6:14

So it's not, you know, white people do, they they lead, they hold chart. That's why I hold it, you know, like I'm Columbus. Like I'm spiking the flag now, like this is ours now. That's why we do it. Amen.

SPEAKER_09 6:30

It's funny the way, yeah, whatever. I didn't so I'm somewhere in between with that stance. I'm somewhere in between. I'm not hiding behind the mic stand, I'm obviously out there, but I'm not touching the mic.

SPEAKER_07 6:44

Right. Well, you got me? Yeah, I had to do the same thing last night. Y'all left, but uh, I ripped my team to the cock. Now it's fine. But my penis was out. Yeah. Sorry, I missed tiny underwear on, yeah.

SPEAKER_09 6:55

Yeah, yeah, Speedos on, dude.

SPEAKER_07 6:57

No, just they weren't like tiny.

SPEAKER_03 7:00

Did you say tiny? Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 7:02

Don't worry, they weren't as tiny as my tiny penis. It was very cold. So it was fun, but like I just felt odd so I was standing in that position with my legs like you were. What did Fat say? About what? Your tiny penis going out. Yeah. I don't know. They probably liked it. It's from Salisbury. You know, they like that thing up there. I hate Salisbury. I had to show up, man. What?

SPEAKER_01 7:26

Tell us how you really feel.

SPEAKER_07 7:27

Yeah, yeah. So uh I had to show up for Salisbury. Like I asked Fat for the spot, so I really can't complain too hard. It was fun. I enjoyed myself, you know. But usually when I enjoy myself too much, they don't, because you know, it's to their expense, usually. So, but uh it seemed like they enjoyed it. But um, yeah, man. Uh fat does put on a lot of shoes in Salisbury, kind of put Salisbury back on the map. Because you know, like they haven't done uh they don't do a lot anymore, you know. No, there's not much music or comedy or anything down there. It might just be the season, man. They're about to do that festival. I hope so. I I like to see shit going on, man. Yeah, I don't mind it. If it happened like in a different place outside of Salisbury, it'd be even better out there. You really just don't like Salisbury. I don't like downtown salt.

SPEAKER_09 8:12

Like once you gotta go downtown, it's just fucking Say what's your downtown? What are you talking about downtown? Like the nice part? Like where Shauna lives. Oh no, yeah, that's downtown.

SPEAKER_07 8:20

It's fucking horrible down there. Yeah, it's different. All the young people. What kind of young people?

SPEAKER_02 8:26

Wait, how old are you?

SPEAKER_07 8:27

I'm 22. What kind of what kind of young people are gonna have to? White women. And you know, it's my demographic usually, but to just the reading. Yeah, like I was telling one joke. I was telling my uh, I was saying, uh, which one was it? It was uh fuck, it was uh, you know, you never wanna be last in a gangbang. And she was like, I've heard that before. And I was like, would you hear me say it? Like I was like, what are you talking about? You heard that before. And she's like, you know, that's everyone's heard that, you know, you never want to be laughing at gang. And she thought the joke just ended right there, you know. Like she didn't know there was a punchline on the end of it, and I said the punchline, and then you know, a couple people laughed, and then you know I shit on her really hard for like stepping on me, you know, belittling me. Yeah, and people laugh at that hard. I don't know. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 9:13

He didn't care either. Yeah, I couldn't at that point he was beyond caring.

SPEAKER_07 9:17

Yeah, dude.

SPEAKER_03 9:18

Fuck it.

SPEAKER_07 9:19

But you know, keep supporting fat, you know. It's a good thing to do in Salisbury, down in Salisbury. Shout out to the fat. The fat. Can we get a new topic?

SPEAKER_09 9:29

Yeah, yeah. Let's talk about Michelle. We have a guest. Huh? What?

SPEAKER_03 9:32

Well, I was gonna say, can I say about my show?

SPEAKER_09 9:36

Let's let's start in the let's start in the beginning when you were a wee lad.

SPEAKER_03 9:41

I was never a lad, but okay, go ahead.

SPEAKER_09 9:44

A wee lash.

SPEAKER_03 9:45

Thank you. Is that why? Correct.

SPEAKER_09 9:48

When you were a wee lash. Where were you born at?

SPEAKER_03 9:54

Baltimore.

SPEAKER_09 9:55

What hospital?

SPEAKER_03 9:58

Um I don't know.

SPEAKER_09 10:01

You really don't know what hospital.

SPEAKER_03 10:03

I don't remember what it was called. It doesn't exist anymore. It's 421. I know. And yesterday was a long day. Um uh I think it was called Francis Scott Key Hospital, maybe.

SPEAKER_09 10:23

Maybe it fell down with the bridge.

SPEAKER_03 10:24

No, no, it closed out. I think I'm pretty sure it doesn't exist anymore.

SPEAKER_09 10:28

In the Key Bridge, the one that fell down?

SPEAKER_03 10:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 10:31

Alright, cool. I thought that deserved more than that.

SPEAKER_06 10:33

I loved it.

SPEAKER_09 10:36

All right. I got control of this thing. I I decide what's funny.

SPEAKER_05 10:39

Okay. Fair enough.

SPEAKER_09 10:42

All right, so you were born at France Scott Key Memorial Bridge.

SPEAKER_07 10:46

And that's probably what's called. That sounds right. Francis Key Memorial. Yeah. Like that. General Memorial General. General Memorial, General. General Memorial. General.

SPEAKER_03 10:57

Oh, I'm lying. I remember what it was called.

SPEAKER_09 10:59

What?

SPEAKER_03 10:59

It's called, and this is weird because it's has an S on the end on purpose, but I don't exactly know.

SPEAKER_09 11:04

Like Walmart's.

SPEAKER_03 11:05

Exactly. But no. Exactly the opposite.

SPEAKER_09 11:08

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 11:08

Just kidding. It was called Baltimore City Hospitals. But it was just one building, so I'm not really sure why why it's like plural. But anyway, yeah. It doesn't exist anymore, I don't think. And I was talking too loud, he turned me down. You're just a little close to the mic, that's all. Um, so yeah. You can relax. In 1973.

SPEAKER_09 11:31

73. See, I didn't even have to ask how old you were. You threw it right out there. You made motherfuckers do math though.

SPEAKER_03 11:37

I'm 52. I will be 53 this year in June.

SPEAKER_09 11:42

Nice. You're beautiful.

SPEAKER_03 11:44

Thanks. So are you.

SPEAKER_09 11:46

Thank you. But I'm not 53.

SPEAKER_03 11:48

I'm not either.

SPEAKER_09 11:49

Or 52. How many uh tell Isaiah about your parents? About your mom. No.

SPEAKER_07 12:03

Okay, that's a good thing. I'm lying, actually.

SPEAKER_03 12:06

I have three.

SPEAKER_09 12:08

Go ahead, tell him.

SPEAKER_07 12:09

When Jack met Sally? And Harry was there too.

SPEAKER_03 12:13

So my mother and father are Jeannie and Bill, and they were together in the 70s, obviously. They had my brother first. They had my brother first in 1971, and then me in 73, and they were divorced, I think, by 1974. And I have a stepdad who my mom has been with since I was, I want to say like four.

SPEAKER_09 12:43

La policía.

SPEAKER_03 12:46

He's a retired police officer, Baltimore City police officer.

SPEAKER_09 12:49

I'm proud of you knowing who that meant. Yeah, man. Good job, man. Your Spanish is getting better. A little bit. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_03 12:54

Um, yeah, that's about it.

SPEAKER_09 12:57

So where's they live? You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 13:01

Oh, well, um, my dad lives in North Carolina, as well as my half-sister. Um, they live in like the Pinehurst area, if you're familiar with golf at all. And my mom and stepdad live in uh northern Harford County, about 45 minutes north of Baltimore.

SPEAKER_09 13:20

Your mom was a state worker too, right?

SPEAKER_03 13:22

Yes, that's how they met. That's how Poppy and that's what we call my stepdad is Poppy.

SPEAKER_09 13:26

In the same building.

SPEAKER_03 13:28

Um he was a police officer in the building that she worked in. And yeah, that's it.

SPEAKER_07 13:34

He locked the doors. So like what, like back in like the 80s, early or late 70s, early 80s.

SPEAKER_03 13:40

Yeah, I was born in 73, and like I said, I think they started dating when I was around I don't know, three or four years old, something like that. I was a kid, a little kid. And so that would have been 77, 78, 79, somewhere around there. They split up for five years when I was in high school. And because he was an alcoholic. Um, not a mean alcoholic, but not a raging alcoholic, just an alcoholic. And um five years later, he said, I'm done. And she said, Done what? And he said, I'm done drinking. And he so they, you know, she had told him when she left, if you ever stop drinking, I love you, we can be together. So he stopped drinking and they've been together ever since.

SPEAKER_07 14:29

I wish it was that simple nowadays. God. Yeah. Yeah, man, that's a beautiful story.

SPEAKER_09 14:36

Yeah, he's good people too, man. He don't mumbles a lot. Like you can't, but when you get on his level and you can understand what he's saying, he says a lot of funny shit.

SPEAKER_03 14:49

He's hilarious. He's hilarious, man. He fucks with my mom so bad.

SPEAKER_09 14:52

Yeah, she doesn't understand half the shit he says to her.

SPEAKER_03 14:55

I know, he'll say some smartest shit, and she'll be like, What? What? And he's like, nothing. And then he'll turn, she'll turn to me and be like, What did he say? And I'm like, I don't know. I didn't understand him.

SPEAKER_09 15:03

But it's hilarious. Yo, he had a uh a secret cell phone for a while. For only the grandkids could know the number. I didn't know the number.

SPEAKER_07 15:12

It's like the money line. Yeah. I still don't.

SPEAKER_03 15:15

I still don't have no idea.

SPEAKER_09 15:17

I don't know if it exists anymore.

SPEAKER_03 15:20

She makes him keep it because he walks six miles every day. He's 70.

SPEAKER_09 15:24

But she has the number now.

SPEAKER_03 15:25

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_09 15:26

Yeah. She didn't used to have the number. Yeah. Like his wife. She didn't like that, man. I don't think she knew he had it.

SPEAKER_03 15:32

And not because of like he she would never think he would be cheating or anything like that. Right. He was just like, this is just He was a cop. For in case. Yeah. And but now, like I said, he's in his mid-late 70s, almost 80 years old. And so he walks six miles every single day on a trail a couple miles from their house. He drives to the trail, walks the trail, and then comes home and or does whatever. But she's afraid that you know he's gonna, if he falls, or you know, I mean whatever, and he's on mile three, we need to know where the homie is. Mile three. His phone will help locate him. Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 16:08

I see what you're doing. You're trying to look around it.

SPEAKER_03 16:10

He can call 911. You know, if need be. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 16:13

He probably wouldn't, but I threw my phone at a woman one time and when it hit the phone and vibrated, it called the police. So iPhones are very Yeah, they're on it now.

SPEAKER_03 16:23

So that's crazy.

SPEAKER_07 16:24

Damn. Once I left her house, you know, because I'm in such a bitch rage, you know, because only a woman would throw a phone, you know. I left, went back to my house, and she's like, Yeah, the police just left here. They you know, they said that someone called them, you know. So I had to go back and get my phone, you know, like a bitch.

SPEAKER_09 16:43

They located that motherfucker. Yes, they did. God damn. Yeah. How many uh you said you had a half-sister. What's her name?

SPEAKER_03 16:53

I have a half- sister named D. Her full name is Deodra. We call her D. She's that baby. And she just had a baby. Baby Ayla. And um It's mine.

SPEAKER_09 17:05

I donated sperm. She don't know it. Did you really?

SPEAKER_03 17:07

She had IVF. She did, she spent a very long, long, long time.

SPEAKER_09 17:12

I sent that shit FedEx.

SPEAKER_06 17:13

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 17:14

Thinking it to you quick. She's 40. Dia's 46, I think, 47. Is she really? Yeah. She might. 45, 44. Yeah, she's around. She's in her mid to late 40s. And uh, like I said, spent like, I don't know, nine, ten or more years doing IVF. And I can't even imagine how much money. And uh yeah, I talked to the universe and now she has a baby.

SPEAKER_07 17:43

God damn. Tell him I need some money.

SPEAKER_03 17:46

I'm just kidding. I we I really did pray though, for real. Like a lot, a lot, a lot. Over the last like year and a half. My father and I made like a prayer pact. We're just gonna pray and pray and pray and pray. Please let her have a baby, please let her have a baby, let her they they um FaceTimed me one day, and I'm like, my sister never FaceTimes me. That's weird, I should answer this. And it was her and my dad, and they showed me a Sinogram photo, and I just burst into tears.

SPEAKER_07 18:18

That's what's not like did she get to like pick like what type of like sperm she wanted, like from what uh like because uh my aunt just had a baby, you know. Let's say uh untraditional, you know what I mean, and uh she got to like pick like the dude.

SPEAKER_03 18:34

I honestly don't know. No, I don't know any of that. I've never asked her any of those questions.

SPEAKER_07 18:38

Right, it's an odd question, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:40

Well, I mean, yeah. My sister's just Eugenics. My sister's sort of conservative. Not like super conservative, but she's a little bit more conserv, she's more conservative than I am, right? And I'm the type of person who will ask anybody anything, but I have learned to respect people's boundaries, and she's one of those people that like I would love to be able to ask her things like that, but I don't feel comfortable.

SPEAKER_07 19:06

Right, especially not yet.

SPEAKER_03 19:08

Yeah, so yeah, I don't know. And then I have a brother.

SPEAKER_09 19:13

Talk into the mic. When every time you go sideways, it changes. You can't hear it because I'm through the microphone.

SPEAKER_03 19:19

Looking at me, moving buttons and shit. Or you know telling me I need to get closer to the microphone.

SPEAKER_09 19:25

You don't have to get closer to it, just talk into it. Because look, when you're talking over here like this, I guess you know, people can't hear you. When you go like that, you go like this, like this over here. Okay. And then you can hear it.

SPEAKER_03 19:36

So yeah, I have a brother who's uh two years older than me. His name is Bill. He has a um a little girl, my niece. Uh her name is Fiona.

SPEAKER_09 19:51

Faithy.

SPEAKER_03 19:52

Or Fife. She's beautiful.

SPEAKER_09 19:54

Yeah, she's cool as shit.

SPEAKER_03 19:56

And she's cool as shit.

SPEAKER_07 19:58

William? Like Bill William?

SPEAKER_03 20:00

Yes. My so my father is William and my brother is a junior.

SPEAKER_07 20:05

So what is that? Like, why is you know the William to Bill? What's that?

SPEAKER_03 20:11

Short Yeah, short, short nickname.

SPEAKER_09 20:14

Will be short?

SPEAKER_03 20:16

Yeah, some Williams do will for short, but a lot, most I think most Williams do Bill. Bill or Billy.

SPEAKER_09 20:22

Billum.

SPEAKER_03 20:23

Billy. We have a friend we call Billy, the guy I go to high school with.

SPEAKER_09 20:27

Really?

SPEAKER_03 20:28

Yeah. You've met him.

SPEAKER_09 20:29

Have I? Yep. I probably didn't know what you were saying.

SPEAKER_03 20:32

Probably not.

SPEAKER_09 20:35

He's an artist. Yeah. Um imagine he is with that name. Yeah, yeah, it's a very artsy name.

SPEAKER_03 20:40

It's a nickname. His real name is William. I thought we just covered that. Anyway.

SPEAKER_09 20:45

I thought his parents' name was William and they made him William.

SPEAKER_03 20:48

Oh no.

SPEAKER_09 20:49

Like when his birthday came from.

SPEAKER_03 20:50

No, no, no. I said it's a nickname for a friend.

SPEAKER_09 20:53

You believe in aliens? Yes. Yeah? Yes. Your family believes in aliens?

SPEAKER_03 20:59

Probably not.

SPEAKER_09 21:00

No. I bet your dad does.

SPEAKER_03 21:02

Probably.

SPEAKER_09 21:03

Yo, her dad would be a beautiful podcast guest.

SPEAKER_03 21:06

Oh my god. He would drive you guys nuts, though.

SPEAKER_09 21:08

Yeah, it would be fun. It would definitely be fun.

SPEAKER_03 21:12

He's he's a wild man.

SPEAKER_09 21:13

He's a wild man. He got some he got some opinions. Ideas. He got ideas. Daddy, there you go. It is. It's better. Ideas.

SPEAKER_02 21:20

Lots of ideas. But my daddy got some ideas. You know what my dad has? He has ideas.

SPEAKER_09 21:28

Yes, he does. I guess. Why don't they ever have Joe?

SPEAKER_03 21:34

Have you ever thought about many? The funniest thing is when he says things that, like, you know, I thought about something the other day, and I don't think anybody's ever thought about this before. And it's literally something that everyone has always thought something everyone has already thought about for sure. He makes inventions all the time that are already invented. You know what I mean? Like that kind of shit. I love it. He'll be like, oh, we should make one of these, this cool thing. Like that, it's been around since 19.

SPEAKER_07 22:01

You gotta pull it out of a drawer. I got this thing.

SPEAKER_03 22:04

I got six of those.

SPEAKER_07 22:05

It makes chunky peanut butter smooth. Joe, you know what they ought to do? It's like, yeah, man, I got one in my car. You ever carry in a beer and it makes your hands cold, Joe? Here, try that. Or maybe duct tape and cardboard.

SPEAKER_03 22:20

But the cool part is, is every now and then, you're right, he will come up with a fucking gem. And I am just blown for that.

SPEAKER_07 22:29

Yeah, does he walk around like he did, like he's like, I won't have to talk to you soon, you know? Like, this is you know as good as gold. Call patent, you know, is he like Um, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_03 22:41

He took a lot of drugs. Yeah, he did a lot, a lot of drugs in the 60s, 70s, 80s, and 90s.

SPEAKER_07 22:51

So he just like tinkering. Ots. He did the aughts too.

SPEAKER_03 22:55

I don't know what that means.

SPEAKER_09 22:57

Oh one, oh two, oh three, oh four, oh five, oh six, oh seven, oh eight, oh nine, the aughts.

SPEAKER_03 23:02

Oh, no.

SPEAKER_09 23:03

Yeah. I was with him. The aughts.

unknown 23:06

No.

SPEAKER_09 23:07

No. Yeah. I partied with your dad a few times. We had fun.

SPEAKER_03 23:15

Let me be more specific with you. I smoke a crackwheel. And you're many listeners.

SPEAKER_08 23:24

Um that was a shot.

SPEAKER_09 23:26

That was a dig. Right to the nutsack. Right to the livery. Oh, a thousand downloads, man.

SPEAKER_03 23:31

So when I was a kid, I saw my father four times. Like, I don't know, three or four years old. Again when I was ten. Uh, I think once when I was six, and then once when I was fourteen. And then I didn't see him again until I was twenty-four.

SPEAKER_09 23:56

First time I saw him, I couldn't get rid of him, man. He stuck to me for like three days.

SPEAKER_03 24:00

Fucking flying around. My dad was a addicted to PCP. And never been like a drinker, smoked weed always, you know, that kind of thing. But he was addicted to PCP for many, many, many years. And then he got clean. And then in the very late 90s into the early 2000s, he started hanging out with one of my uncles here in Maryland. Now, my father and my sister have lived in North Carolina for 20 plus years. And all that time he hasn't done drugs. He smokes weed, but he doesn't do drugs. He doesn't do PCP, none of that. So my uncle, lo and behold, was a fing crackhead. I had no idea. And then um, so I'm sitting in the basement of my uncle's house one night, and I look over and my dad and my uncle are over at his drafting table, and he's like, You want something make? My uncle. And I'm like, Well, and I'm thinking they're smoking weed in a bowl. And he's like, I said, What is it? He said, It's crack. And I thought he was joking. I was like, I was like, like, for real? And he was like, Yeah. I said, I'm on a crack diet, but thanks. Thanks, Uncle so and so. And so I'm like, now I'm good. And then my dad started smoking crack with my uncle. Well, the man has an extremely addictive personality.

SPEAKER_07 25:25

So Jesus.

SPEAKER_03 25:26

Within like a very short amount of time, my dad's a fucking crackhead. Now he's trying to go around my Uncle Mike to Uncle Mike's dealer, and the dealer's yelling at Mike, oh, what's that? Shit. Bleep, bleep, uncle bleep. Anyway. Yeah, there you go. Fuck it, whatever. It's whatever. He don't even have the same, not even close to the same last name as me, so it's whatever. But anyway, or my dad. But anyway, so yeah, my uncle is like, bro, what the fuck are you doing?

SPEAKER_07 25:58

You're really fucking up the connection.

SPEAKER_03 26:00

You're fucking the shit up. And so uh I was supposed to actually go to North Carolina with my dad, and then he just never picked me up. Just one day just rolled the fuck out. And I was pissed. I was real mad. I was like, bitch, you fucking left me hanging when I was a child, and now you're gonna do it again while I'm an adult. You can fuck all the way off. And of course, you know, he apologized and was like, so I was kind of like having a problem with some extracurricular crack smoking, so I had to get the fuck out of Dodge.

SPEAKER_07 26:30

I was just down here having fun.

SPEAKER_03 26:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 26:32

So it's like I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_03 26:34

I mean he was here for like, I don't know, it was like six months or something, and in that amount of time gained a gained a crack at it.

SPEAKER_09 26:41

What happens? You know what I mean? It takes a week takes a week.

SPEAKER_03 26:44

But he left.

SPEAKER_09 26:44

Oh, it takes a week.

SPEAKER_03 26:45

And he's never done it since.

SPEAKER_07 26:46

Yeah, yeah. It's oh man.

SPEAKER_09 26:48

So he came and saw you dance once, right?

SPEAKER_03 26:51

Yeah, that's actually how he came back into my life.

SPEAKER_09 26:54

I thought so. Yeah. Talk about that for a minute, about your dancing.

SPEAKER_03 26:58

Um, so I danced my whole life. I grew up dancing, um, danced as a child at Towson University in their children's dance program.

SPEAKER_09 27:07

She can dance like a black girl, yeah. And then um and then um she can do that booty slap thing. I went to twerking? Clap. Clap twerk, no, just kidding.

SPEAKER_03 27:24

What is talking about his mom, you know what I mean? Isaiah's like, ooh, stop.

SPEAKER_07 27:29

No, it's not even that. It's just like his descriptions. What'd you say to him? Booty snap. Booty snap, booty clap. That almost sounds like an aneurysm. Booty slap. You got booty snapping going on. Did I say it wrong?

SPEAKER_03 27:44

Anyway, um, yeah, so the first time I went to college, I was a dance major in college, and I was supposed to go from like a junior college, community college, to a university. But the last month that I was in community college, I got pregnant with my first child. And so the university never happened. And uh, I did teach dance off and on for a number of years, and um, like in and around Baltimore, like the schools and stuff like that. So um, and but you know, I was mostly at that point focused on my kid.

SPEAKER_07 28:20

So, how do you feel about um that what's her name? Abby or Addy or something from Dance Moms, you know what I'm talking about? Oh, fuck that bitch. Yeah, right. Yeah, who's that? She was like can she was like uh continuing to teach in a wheelchair, like fuck that.

SPEAKER_03 28:34

Fuck everyone, fuck every single person on that show except the children.

SPEAKER_07 28:38

Yeah, the moms fucking suck too.

SPEAKER_03 28:39

The moms, the bitch, the teacher bitch who was a raging fucking cunt. Yeah, fuck that whole show.

SPEAKER_07 28:44

Can only fuck the children if you're a politician.

SPEAKER_03 28:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 28:47

Well, she was not, I don't think she was doing it. She was just saying weird shit.

SPEAKER_03 28:50

No, no, no, no. Yeah, she's just an asshole.

SPEAKER_07 28:52

She drove in on a motorized car and was like, bitch, better have my money, or moms better have my money or something. Damn, I don't even know what you're talking about.

SPEAKER_03 28:59

It's a trifling ass show. Vance mom's.

SPEAKER_09 29:01

So it's one of them jail shows. No.

SPEAKER_03 29:03

You've probably seen me watch it a long time ago. I I stopped watching it because it was just ridiculous.

SPEAKER_09 29:07

It's one of them.

SPEAKER_03 29:08

A reality show.

SPEAKER_07 29:09

Yeah, trifle show. Like, fell or something. She had like what what happened to her? She liked fucked up or something. And then like the show came back and she was all fucked up. She was um bots.

SPEAKER_02 29:18

Yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_07 29:19

She was um bots. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_09 29:23

So now is when I want you to talk about your theater.

SPEAKER_03 29:27

Then I went to yeah, I yeah, so I or or your go ahead, massage then therapy. No, yeah, then I went to college for massage therapy and I did that for 18 years and had three shoulder surgeries and then stopped. Um, which actually massage is something that like is real meaningful part of my life.

SPEAKER_09 29:51

What's the craziest thing you ever seen in a massage room?

SPEAKER_02 29:54

I guess I can talk about it now that I'm doing it.

SPEAKER_09 29:57

License, not license or nothing.

SPEAKER_02 29:59

I can talk about it in front of you now.

SPEAKER_09 30:01

You ever had somebody pull down their pants and just have shit all over them or something like that? That someone ever came like you didn't even touch them, really.

SPEAKER_07 30:07

Yeah, somebody busted like weird people.

SPEAKER_03 30:09

So I was actually really fortunate because of being a massage therapist, you know other massage therapists, and so you get to hear all their stories too, right? And I heard some tragic fucking stories, but um I don't know if it's just my vibe or what, but I was very, very fortunate that I never had too many crazy things. I had um when I worked at the Hyatt, both crazy things that that aren't even that big of a deal to me, um, happened while I was working at the Hyatt.

SPEAKER_09 30:36

And probably shouldn't say Hyatt.

SPEAKER_03 30:39

Hyatt, Hyatt, Hyatt, fuck the Hyatt. Um so anyway, um and technically uh Hyatt doesn't own it anymore, and I didn't say the name of the spa. So anyway, um the first one was there was a guy there from I think he was from Ukraine, somewhere in that area of the world, and he basically like you know, I started doing the massage and he was like, Um, I have lots of money, and I'm like, okay, like what? You know what I mean? And he was like, I have lots of money, and I was like, um, sir, if you are saying what I think you're trying to say, that is uh no.

SPEAKER_07 31:19

Right. He was just used to that over there, I'm sure.

SPEAKER_03 31:22

Yes, everywhere else in the world says where I come from, I give you extra money, you give me extra, and then he just stops. And I go, Okay, I understand, and I realize that you, you know, I mean you're from another place. I said, but that's illegal here. This man, and he's face down in the thing like this, and he picks his head and he says, Well, I not tell anybody.

SPEAKER_07 31:48

What is this? My money no good.

SPEAKER_03 31:51

I said, No, sir. And he but it was okay, okay. Puts his head down, 15 minutes passes, he picks his head up. Are you sure?

SPEAKER_02 31:59

I have lots of money.

SPEAKER_03 32:01

Said, sir, if you ask me again, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave. I actually had the hard time not laughing because I secretly was like, This bitch. You know, he says, Okay, okay, okay, I'm not asking again, I'm not asking. And he didn't, he didn't, he was fine.

SPEAKER_07 32:16

But I've extra money, 200 shakos, whatever they got over there at the Bulgaria.

SPEAKER_03 32:24

So, yeah, so and then the other one was an old man who was probably in his 70s, maybe 80s.

SPEAKER_09 32:35

Um was it my dad?

SPEAKER_03 32:37

No, okay, your dad won't let me massage him.

SPEAKER_09 32:39

I was kidding.

SPEAKER_03 32:40

For obvious reasons.

SPEAKER_09 32:42

No come.

SPEAKER_03 32:43

That's why I said for obvious reasons. So um, anyway.

SPEAKER_09 32:48

You shouldn't put that finger in his butt and he won't know what to do, boy.

SPEAKER_03 32:51

I ain't one of them girls, that's for goddamn sure. Um so that's the kind of massages your brother likes. And your father.

SPEAKER_09 33:01

He actually doesn't like them.

SPEAKER_03 33:03

Well, he's definitely had them. Yeah. So nonetheless, but actually he likes it when they lick his butt. Like uh No, he didn't like it.

SPEAKER_07 33:11

It scared him.

SPEAKER_03 33:12

Coco. Anyway.

SPEAKER_07 33:14

Yeah, right, scared.

SPEAKER_03 33:16

So uh, yeah, old ass man. Uh I have him face up on the table. And he was like a sweaty, hairy person. So he was like, I'm hot. You got I don't want the blanket on me, just the sheet. So I'm like, so he's covered in the sheet. He is sound the fuck asleep. I mean, ow, motherfucking cold. Drool, drool, like legit, no lie. And y'all, I can't, I might, I might gag when I say this. His little old man, Peter, got like halfway hard and then leaked. And I can see it under the machine. And I'm just literally like, you know what I'm saying? I swear to God. And I'm like, do I stop? Do I keep going? Like, do I just stand here? Like, what do I do?

SPEAKER_09 34:03

Was he really asleep or was he faking?

SPEAKER_03 34:05

Sound the fuck asleep. I swear to God, he was sound, sound asleep. He had no idea. He was not faking. I promise you he was not faking. And so I, you know, I mean, I just kind of like stayed away from like just basically massaged it, did not massage the top of his legs. So I wasn't anywhere near him. Right. That's actually what started it. Because I as soon as I went above his knee. Oh, well, he probably didn't know. He had no idea.

SPEAKER_09 34:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 34:28

I was just above his knee. You almost gave him a wet leg. No, I did.

SPEAKER_09 34:32

Well, a little leakage.

SPEAKER_03 34:33

Yeah. Yeah, dude.

SPEAKER_09 34:38

Did he have a foreskin?

SPEAKER_03 34:40

How the fuck do I know? Dumbass.

SPEAKER_09 34:44

That was a test.

SPEAKER_03 34:45

And he was from here, so probably not.

SPEAKER_09 34:47

Probably not. Was he Jewish? That was just about ass.

SPEAKER_03 34:50

Probably, yeah.

SPEAKER_09 34:51

Yeah. Um.

SPEAKER_03 34:54

Yeah, crazy. Crazy town. So God.

SPEAKER_09 34:59

All right. Then that now talk to your talk about your return to stage.

SPEAKER_03 35:03

Until number two came and then my life. No. So um two and a half years ago, I decided that I couldn't really do massage anymore, and so I started trying to endeavor to other things. I put a post up on Facebook and I said, hey, if I wasn't a massage therapist, for those of you who know me, if I wasn't a massage therapist, what could you see me doing? And people had a lot to say to that. Not all good. And uh but a friend What was a bad one? I mean, you know, uh the obvious people who felt the need to say things like, I got a problem for you or uh, you know, I don't know, just dumb shit. All right. Um several people actually told me they thought I should be a therapist. Like four or five different people said therapist. And I was like, I appreciate that because I take that as a compliment. That means that I'm a good listener. However, I'm also a really good crier, so that is not the bugging job for me by no fucking means. I cannot do that. So anyway, um you've done good so far.

SPEAKER_09 36:13

But not crying.

SPEAKER_03 36:15

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_09 36:16

I always did once. I know, I saw.

SPEAKER_03 36:19

Um so um probably when I was talking about my sister.

SPEAKER_09 36:25

Uh yeah, and when you're something about your family, you were your eyes are getting rained. Something about your dad or something, you were getting a little misty.

SPEAKER_03 36:32

Yeah. Anyway, um there she blows. Two and a half years ago, decided I couldn't do massage anymore, put the post up. Several people said several different things, and a young lady who I have who I love madly and dearly, who I know from the Onnet tribe, who I had only ever been in person with once at this point, and maybe not even yet, but anyway, she messaged me directly and said, I think you should do um like voiceover work. I think you should like um be a narrator for smutnups. And I was like, it's really weird that you say that because before I went to massage school, and even before I went to school, actually it was after I went to school for dance, um that's what I wanted to do. I wanted to be on the radio and I wanted to read, you know, like books on tape, because they were on tape back then. And uh so I was like, that's crazy. I didn't even think of that. So I was like, okay, well, how do I do that? So I get online and I look up. How do I get into voiceover work? And one of the suggestions in the many articles that I read was start by doing local theater. So I went to an audition, and I did not get a role. And I went to I think four auditions before I got a role. And the first show that I was in was here in Caroline County, a murder mystery show with Keith Schaefer and um Caroline Actors Theater. I was just kidding.

SPEAKER_07 38:12

I was just about to say that's way harder than what we do. Yeah, you leave with the part or you don't. Like that's fucking hard.

SPEAKER_09 38:20

Plus, it's I mean, uh what we do is clicky, but that's you know, everybody knows everybody.

SPEAKER_03 38:26

Yeah, so anyway, I um like I said, I went to several auditions before I actually got a role in anything. And my first role, like I said, was with Caroline Act Theater in a murder mystery show, and I played a woman named Margaret who was from Pennsylvania but was pretending that she was British. So it was kind of funny that even if my British accent sucked, it was kind of okay. Because I was an actually British. I like that one. Yeah, that was a good show. Um anyway, so that's where it started, and that was 20, the end of 2024.

SPEAKER_09 39:01

What are you doing now?

SPEAKER_03 39:02

So last weekend and this coming weekend, I am in a show at Oxford Community Center with the Treadyvon players, and the show is called Don't Dress for Dinner. It is a French farce, and if you're not familiar with what a farce is, it's typically a very fast-paced, um, sort of ridiculous on purpose style comedy. And this show is fast-paced and ridiculous and funny, and it's been really fun to do. Um, it's been a lot of work, it's a sh ton of lines, it's an extremely dialogue-heavy show. It's a loty, it's liney, very dialogue-heavy, and it's uh it's a long show. Um the last show that TreD Von players put on was called Things My Mother Taught Me. And their script, their entire script was shorter than our first act. So it's been challenging, but also really fun. I've really loved working with Angel, Angel Perez. Um and uh it's yeah, it's uh this coming weekend, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Thursday night, Friday night, and Saturday night at 7 p.m. 7.30. But get there at 7.

SPEAKER_09 40:23

Yeah, 7.

SPEAKER_03 40:25

And then uh is it did it start at 7?

SPEAKER_09 40:28

It was between, I think.

SPEAKER_03 40:29

Anyway, so get there at 7 so you're not late.

SPEAKER_09 40:31

I think it was supposed to start at 7, but it started at like 7.15.

SPEAKER_03 40:35

Anyway, and then on Sunday it's at 2 at Oxford Community Center.

SPEAKER_09 40:41

I'll be there on Sunday.

SPEAKER_03 40:42

Treddy Von Players. And on Sunday, our son is receiving a scholarship from Tet or T A P Tredy Von Players.

SPEAKER_09 40:51

Tat.

SPEAKER_03 40:53

So, yep. Fun stuff.

SPEAKER_09 40:57

Yeah, man. It was fun.

SPEAKER_03 41:01

Get off my board, bitch. I'm your wife, I'm allowed to touch whatever I want. It's like Howie and Robin.

SPEAKER_09 41:10

Yeah, so go see that. I saw it once already.

SPEAKER_07 41:12

I'm gonna come to it.

SPEAKER_09 41:14

You're gonna come Sunday? You better get a ticket.

SPEAKER_07 41:16

I gotta get a ticket.

SPEAKER_09 41:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 41:17

Alright, you gotta send your link.

SPEAKER_03 41:19

I might be able to get him a comp ticket. Try to get him a comp ticket. That's my right hand. I'll ask if I can get one more comp.

SPEAKER_09 41:25

All right.

SPEAKER_03 41:27

Actually, I can because Joseph didn't use the one from Friday night. So I can put his name on that one.

SPEAKER_09 41:34

All right, you're right. High five. That was gay as shit. Didn't even make a noise. You hear that Alan Osman died? You know who that is? No. All right.

SPEAKER_01 41:51

We're sidebar. Sidebe!

SPEAKER_04 41:55

Alan Osman led the way for his younger siblings as the oldest of the performing Osman brothers. Yeah. First becoming a hit on the Andy Williams show. It was given to us for the first time. Wait a minute, they played more music.

SPEAKER_09 42:10

It was the oldest Osman brothers.

SPEAKER_04 42:14

Osman brothers. Alan, Wayne, Darryl, and Jay began performing to raise money for hearing aids.

SPEAKER_07 42:25

And music helped us put out the message.

SPEAKER_09 42:27

He started as a quartet. He did a haircut.

SPEAKER_05 42:31

We're saying bye bye, booze. We're saying bye-bye.

SPEAKER_09 42:36

And that's when they're old. They're saying old the same song. You know who uh Donnie Marie were?

SPEAKER_07 42:44

No.

SPEAKER_03 42:46

I obviously do.

SPEAKER_09 42:47

Tell us.

SPEAKER_03 42:48

I mean, Donnie and Marie Osmond were a brother and sister duo singing. Like they were part of a group. Obviously, they had all of their siblings were talented, and uh they were s really crazy popular in the 70s, and they had a TV show.

SPEAKER_07 43:05

She's right. See, I I just uh I just learned about what they did to the Italian boys that used to sing back in the day.

SPEAKER_09 43:12

Which ones? Oh, the castros. Oh boy. Yeah, dude.

SPEAKER_07 43:16

They used to like cut their nuts off.

SPEAKER_09 43:17

You know, they think that some people think that's what Michael Jackson was.

SPEAKER_07 43:21

Oh.

SPEAKER_09 43:21

That he was chemically castrated. Not they didn't cut his nuts off, but they dosed, they gave him altered them. Yeah, gave him medication and lot and let him go through puberty so that his voice didn't change. Because he had the billion dollar voice.

SPEAKER_07 43:35

Did you hear off stage? They said he talked like a pimp. Yeah. I don't think that's real. I think that's AI. Yo, bubbles. Yeah, I swear to God. They said he was like real cool, but like bubbles the monkey? Yeah. I don't know why I kept bubbles. And then Jermaine put my mic down.

SPEAKER_03 43:57

Michael, um Uh had a lot of serious mental health issues, all them Jacksons do, because their father's a fucking crazy person.

SPEAKER_09 44:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 44:07

But regardless of that, you know they're saying now that you know, obviously after he died, it was like, oh, he's a pedophile, all the things. Now they're saying that he all them kids he took there, that he was not actually essaying them. He was trying to protect them.

SPEAKER_09 44:23

What'd you say? SA? Oh, sexual assault.

SPEAKER_03 44:27

From the people in the files and shit, yeah.

SPEAKER_09 44:29

Really?

SPEAKER_03 44:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 44:30

You think that's real?

SPEAKER_03 44:31

Yes.

SPEAKER_09 44:32

And um remember when he hung that baby off the fucking side of that building.

SPEAKER_05 44:37

Blank it Jackson.

SPEAKER_07 44:38

He was like, and all the people were like, oh my god. He was just being like if he drops the baby, we'll be here to catch it.

SPEAKER_03 44:50

For the minute he was married to Lisa Marie Presley.

SPEAKER_09 44:54

Remembered how they looked when they were all dressed up? They looked like the same person almost when they were side by side.

SPEAKER_03 45:00

There was a rumor in like the late 80s that Michael and um LaToya were actually the same person.

SPEAKER_09 45:09

Actually, I was getting ready to crack a joke a minute ago. What's worse?

SPEAKER_08 45:12

That remember Obama shit.

SPEAKER_01 45:14

Right. Never seen him in the same place. Never seen him in the same place at the same time. All the Jacksons are there. Where's LaToya? All the Jacksons are there. Where's Michael?

SPEAKER_09 45:22

Yo, speaking of uh the Jacksons, man, you got any dating news this week? No, man. No hot date news this week? I mean, no.

SPEAKER_07 45:30

You just gotta keep it on DL. I mean, not really. Like, I haven't been on any dates, but uh women have been trying to talk to me. I've been swatting them away, you know.

SPEAKER_05 45:39

Yeah?

SPEAKER_07 45:39

Yeah, like a pimp does, you know what I'm saying? I can't have too many uh horses in my brothel, you know what I'm saying?

unknown 45:45

What?

SPEAKER_07 45:46

Or in my stable, excuse me. Probably would like to have more women in my brothel. No. Nah, man. It's just uh been quiet, huh? Yeah, I mean, it's a little odd right now. Uh I definitely have a type. Yeah, I see I've seen that. I've noticed that. Trying to stay away from that type.

SPEAKER_09 46:04

That's good, man. Everybody's got type.

SPEAKER_07 46:06

No, I'm talking about like the logistics of the type, you know, like uh, you know, single or taken, you know, that part that sucks. Oh, yeah, man. You're gonna die. Hey.

SPEAKER_09 46:18

What?

SPEAKER_07 46:19

Yeah, like Marvin Gaye.

SPEAKER_09 46:21

That's how people die.

SPEAKER_03 46:22

What are you talking about?

SPEAKER_09 46:23

Bitches don't tell them about another dude, you know what I'm saying? They're not single, but they're kind of single. And then all of a sudden you wake up with a fucking gun in your mouth.

SPEAKER_07 46:31

Because you know what it is? I'm good for a couple minutes, you know. Not like I'm not talking sexual, I'm saying like conversational. Like uh whatever they're talking about, their problems, you know. I'll just, oh, that's nice. You know, oh, I'm sorry, you feel that way.

SPEAKER_09 46:44

You know, this is the most you talk all week, isn't it?

SPEAKER_07 46:46

Uh yeah, essentially. Like, and I like to keep it that way. You know, I'm a real quiet person. Like uh now that I'm up to almost because uh, you know, now you know the woman is definitely single, you know. So but the only problem with it, you know, I'm up to the plate to be a boyfriend, and I don't know if you know I'm ready to be a boyfriend. I like my alone time, you know. I like to sulk when I want to. It's kind of hard to sulk with another person around.

SPEAKER_09 47:12

I was glad that Michelle was gonna be on tonight for the simple fact that she doesn't let you act like Eeyore.

SPEAKER_07 47:18

Yeah, man. Like, it's different. Like, I enjoy it. Some people try too hard to like put me in a good mood. And like, you know, some people call me like, hey man, you know, that stuff you put on Facebook, what's up with that? I'm like, dude, leave me the fuck alone. I'm like, it's Facebook, it's not real. I'm like, I can just put a post on there when I want.

SPEAKER_09 47:38

That's all you changed your thing again, your your profile picture.

SPEAKER_07 47:42

Gotta keep them on their toes. People are looking, people are watching.

SPEAKER_09 47:48

He changes his profile picture like once a week on Instagram. It's never myself. It's like a Power Ranger or a fucking right now in this anime men.

SPEAKER_08 47:59

Uh anime men? Yeah. I can show you. It's him. That's the Facebook one.

SPEAKER_03 48:06

Oh, nice.

SPEAKER_07 48:07

Yep. Jo Toro Kujo. Oh, I'll look at it. These are like uh like uh, what is it called? Like androgynous. These are like confirmed androgynous men. So sometimes nerds are like, what's up with that? Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, it's style, dude.

SPEAKER_03 48:21

What anime do you like?

SPEAKER_07 48:22

Jojo's Bizarre Adventures.

SPEAKER_03 48:23

Is that the only one you watch?

SPEAKER_07 48:25

No, it's the it's the only one I'm back on right now. I'm about to go back to One Piece.

SPEAKER_03 48:29

Right on.

SPEAKER_07 48:29

Yeah. You seen One Piece?

SPEAKER_03 48:31

Some of it, yeah. Right. I've seen some of like all of them because both of my kids like them.

SPEAKER_07 48:35

Yeah, see, One Piece is really good.

SPEAKER_03 48:37

I mean all three of my kittens.

SPEAKER_07 48:41

Joe said he watched a little bit of One Piece. Yeah, we did. We watched a little bit of it with the sh it's just fucking like a thousand and one episodes. It's just so many though.

SPEAKER_03 48:49

No, but what he watched was actually the um live action. Yep, the live action versions.

SPEAKER_07 48:53

I like it. It's not as I heard the live action one piece was actually like one of the better live action like animes brought over to Netflix. Did it get better?

SPEAKER_03 49:04

So I don't know. We never he we stopped watching it. That you might be able to appreciate this. So I work now for Kent Island Chiropractic. Oh shit. Right? And their email and like thing uh their things say K-I-C-H-I-R-O. Tell me why I have been around my children for so long that my brain read that shit, Kichiro.

SPEAKER_07 49:31

Yeah, that's what I said. That's what I was like, oh, that's what that is.

SPEAKER_03 49:34

The first time I was like, why would they have like a Japanese like Kichiro? What the hell? Like when I'm looking at their email, Kichiro, and then I'm like, oh my god, I am fucking stupid. Kent Island Cairo, like, oh my god. I literally text that to Jay today. I'm like, baby, check this shit out. And I told him, and he was like, oh my god, mom, that sounds like an um um anime villain. And I was like, exactly.

SPEAKER_07 50:00

Uh from Naruto, Conqueror.

SPEAKER_03 50:02

Yeah. Jay goes, Mom, you're the 400th Hokage. I was like Conqueror. I was like, yes. I was like, you can call me Chichiro Uzumaki.

SPEAKER_07 50:16

See. My mom, she loves like the live action anime. So me and my brother just lose our minds. Like it's because they're not as good, none of them. Like they have the uh the Death Note one.

SPEAKER_03 50:27

Mm-hmm. I haven't seen that.

SPEAKER_07 50:29

The Death Note anime is just good. Alone, standalone good.

SPEAKER_09 50:34

So, couple things. They're always too fast. One for you. New Fortnite skins. Oh shit.

SPEAKER_07 50:41

What do we got now? Let me guess. Alright, go ahead. Man or woman? Both. Uh recently, what's been going on recently, pop culture wise? WrestleMania is a wrestler. It is? That's one of them. WWE. Uh let me guess the rest of the two characters. Roman Reigns is probably already in there, I would assume. Cody Rhodes?

SPEAKER_09 51:03

Cody Rhodes is one of them. Damn. Come on. It's actually four wrestlers.

SPEAKER_07 51:08

John Cena. No. Hulk Hogan. No. No, they'll never put him in there. Oba Femi. Is it Oba Femi? I don't even know who that is, but no. Uh uh.

SPEAKER_03 51:19

I know he Roddy Piper. No. I'm showing you how old I am.

SPEAKER_07 51:22

I was about to say, all these men don't have allegations against them. Oh, do they really? Yeah, you know the Hulkers. His fucking is just bad.

SPEAKER_03 51:30

Um, I don't know any specifics on that, honestly.

SPEAKER_07 51:33

He did. Essentially, to the wrestle. Like uh the Belgium.

SPEAKER_09 51:38

Right?

SPEAKER_02 51:39

He died?

SPEAKER_09 51:39

Yeah, he died. I had a joke about how Hulk Hogan um ate vitamins and said prayers and died before Ozzy.

SPEAKER_07 51:47

Ozzy died, not Hulk.

SPEAKER_09 51:48

Yeah, they both are dead.

SPEAKER_07 51:50

Oh, yeah, Ozzy died.

SPEAKER_03 51:51

That was the whole joke. It wasn't the Hulk.

SPEAKER_09 51:54

It was I'm telling you, it was Hulk Hogan. Vitamins and prayers. That was the whole joke.

SPEAKER_07 51:58

And you know why I know it's true? Because a lot of black people, I was like one of the only black people that reposting them, and then like everybody else was like, oh no, I'm not gonna repost that fucking racist. I was like, whoa.

SPEAKER_09 52:07

Yeah, because he did say the M-word on something one time, too.

SPEAKER_03 52:09

But like Hogan did?

SPEAKER_09 52:11

Yeah, Hogan did. He used to be on Bubba Love Sponge all the time.

SPEAKER_03 52:14

I remember. His daughter did I don't remember him saying racist shit. He didn't.

SPEAKER_09 52:19

He one time.

SPEAKER_07 52:20

Something about his daughter. His daughter did uh he was like, if anything, whatever you do, just don't fuck a black dude. Please, you know, like I don't know who got it, TMZ got it or something. And they were like, Hold what's up with that, brother. And then he was like, vitamins and prayers.

SPEAKER_03 52:38

Somebody, somebody, didn't I screenshot it? Somebody put that on Facebook or somewhere. Like one of the comedians put that in. I was like, didn't you say this like a while back? But I guess it was about Hulk Hogan, but I thought it was a different athlete.

SPEAKER_09 52:53

No, Hulk Hogan died like after Ozzy. The day. But not long. Yeah, it might have been the day after. It was like the day or that week. So who are the other ones, man?

SPEAKER_07 53:03

Uh, I can't guess.

SPEAKER_09 53:06

Liv Morgan.

SPEAKER_07 53:07

Oh, and Rhea Ripley or something?

SPEAKER_09 53:08

No. And Stone Cold Steve Austin.

SPEAKER_02 53:11

What?

SPEAKER_09 53:11

And The Undertaker.

SPEAKER_02 53:13

I actually know who those are.

SPEAKER_09 53:14

You know who the Undertaker is, too.

SPEAKER_02 53:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 53:16

Who's the chick that's in there? Liv Morgan. I didn't know her. White chick. Yeah, white chick. Yeah. Blonde hair. Um, Batman and Catwoman.

SPEAKER_07 53:25

They were already in there. Or was it new skins of them?

SPEAKER_09 53:28

Nah, they're not worth getting. Edward Scissor Hands, you know who that is? I do fuck with uh Tim Burton. Yep. Um I didn't know who this was. I was hoping you would. It's spelled L A U F E Y. Law.

SPEAKER_03 53:45

Law.

SPEAKER_09 53:46

Law. Singer, maybe?

SPEAKER_07 53:47

Say it again. Swell one more time.

SPEAKER_09 53:49

L-A-U-F-E-Y. It's a girl, a white girl. Law. I think she's a singer or something. Because it plays music when she comes on. I don't know.

SPEAKER_07 53:58

She might be like Chinese or something. No, she's not Chinese.

SPEAKER_03 54:02

Yep. I just I just looked it up.

SPEAKER_09 54:04

Law Fay's white?

SPEAKER_03 54:05

No, not that.

SPEAKER_09 54:06

Um Hulk?

SPEAKER_03 54:08

Yeah. Ozzy died on July 22nd. Hulk Hogan died on July 24th.

SPEAKER_09 54:12

Yeah, there you go. I knew I was right. I've heard a joke about it. I remember my jokes. I don't remember nothing else. You know what they say, man.

SPEAKER_07 54:19

Hulk never wanted to take a fall. That wasn't funny. All right, Joe. He never wanted to stay down.

SPEAKER_08 54:29

I doubled down. Oh God. Oh God. Give me another one.

SPEAKER_09 54:38

Alright. And this one I wanted to know if you knew. Brain rot.

SPEAKER_07 54:43

I know what brain rot is. Yeah. It's like shit that don't make sense. It's cartoons, though. Not all of it, but a lot of it is. It's not a cartoon or anything.

SPEAKER_03 54:53

I know what Italian brain rot is.

SPEAKER_07 54:55

What is Italian brain rot?

SPEAKER_03 54:57

Like the weird things that me and Joseph used to say all the time.

SPEAKER_07 55:01

Oh, like uh Baba Boy, all that shit. That shit's some brain rot.

SPEAKER_03 55:07

Keep going. Oh look.

SPEAKER_07 55:09

There's hella brain rot, but what about it? What about brain rot?

SPEAKER_09 55:12

That it's that's the skins.

SPEAKER_07 55:15

What? Brain rot skins?

SPEAKER_09 55:17

Yeah. No, it's cartoon. I thought it was an anime.

SPEAKER_03 55:22

So is it like a shark with a slice?

SPEAKER_09 55:24

There's all different ones.

SPEAKER_03 55:25

Okay.

SPEAKER_09 55:25

Look, one of them looks like a French fry.

SPEAKER_07 55:27

They're like kids' memes or just distorted.

SPEAKER_03 55:30

It's Italian brain rot. So it's like these, like these.

SPEAKER_07 55:35

Uh-huh. That's what they are.

SPEAKER_03 55:36

Yeah, yeah, that guy's on there.

SPEAKER_07 55:39

Oh, yeah. And then the the fucking uh deterred or something that looks like cinnamon jack.

SPEAKER_03 55:44

Um, here we go. Top five Italian.

SPEAKER_09 55:56

What is that? That's brain robbery.

SPEAKER_07 55:59

That's exactly what I'm saying. You know how many followers of this game. This is what people like. This is what the people like. Really?

SPEAKER_03 56:08

That's my favorite one right there. Twalalero twa lala. Bombario crocodilio.

SPEAKER_07 56:13

I'm telling you, Joe. Kids. This is like I've been. You know what I think of it.

SPEAKER_03 56:22

Joseph hates it.

SPEAKER_07 56:23

I don't like it. I think it's subliminal messages. Yeah, me too.

SPEAKER_09 56:27

It's play that shit backwards.

SPEAKER_02 56:28

This is a series of memes that came out earlier this year made of AI generated. Did you see it the shirt?

SPEAKER_09 56:32

Yeah, I seen it. Play that shit backwards. It's gonna tell you about the devil. Alright, turn that shit off. Here we go. You ready? It's time for headlines. So have you listened? Do you know how we do headlines?

SPEAKER_01 56:47

Sort of.

SPEAKER_09 56:48

Okay. He doesn't pay attention at all. And I cursorily pay attention enough to kind of know what I'm talking about. I know you probably know more than both of us.

SPEAKER_03 56:58

I haven't been paying attention to much recently because I've been so busy.

SPEAKER_09 57:01

Well, I don't do we don't do like heavy shit anyway. It's a comedy podcast.

SPEAKER_07 57:08

Right. Okay. All right. So play along with us. You ready? Okay. Can I have a notion real quick before we start? Yeah. Yeah, we should get a button, like a sound. It's like, you know, like since it's like headlines. We steal WBOC's intro. Okay.

SPEAKER_09 57:30

Maybe you can just do it every time out of your mouth.

SPEAKER_08 57:33

All right, go ahead. Let's start it over.

SPEAKER_09 57:35

All right, you ready? Here we go. Here comes headline I forgot the second one.

SPEAKER_02 57:50

Yeah, the sports being whammy.

SPEAKER_09 57:56

I usually used to hear that sound when I was cleaning that puddle up off her back. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_08 58:01

Whoa! Can we get a boo for that? Dude, come on, man.

SPEAKER_01 58:08

Can I get a hurrah for her? That's what I got.

SPEAKER_09 58:12

Oh, mommy said she wants another hurrah. Alright, you ready for the first one?

unknown 58:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 58:20

Mommy. These were picked with you in mind.

SPEAKER_03 58:23

Okay, great.

SPEAKER_09 58:24

Alright. All but one of them.

SPEAKER_03 58:27

I probably won't know what any of them are.

SPEAKER_09 58:28

It doesn't. That's the whole fun of it.

SPEAKER_03 58:30

Okay, cool. Let's go. Stop talking.

SPEAKER_09 58:32

The first one's a Wall Street Journal article. So it's serious. The new king of Jeopardy is the nicest champ ever. Why do you think he's so nice? Who do you think he is?

SPEAKER_07 58:49

I'm assuming it's a guy who probably lives with his mother. One of the maybe he's on a spectrum. I'm not going to say he's retarded. But I'm not going to say he's able to live alone either. I think if that answers your question, I've been Alex Trebette.

SPEAKER_09 59:16

Michelle, what do you think what do you think? Do you know? Do you know who it is?

SPEAKER_03 59:20

I don't.

unknown 59:21

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 59:21

Which is actually surprising.

SPEAKER_09 59:23

Yeah, it is.

SPEAKER_03 59:24

Because you know, Jeopardy used to be my shit, but now that Alex Trebek is that I don't give a fuck.

SPEAKER_07 59:27

But you get questions right? Because I like to watch it and get I get like five wrong and I had to turn something else on.

SPEAKER_03 59:34

I get about five right on a show, but I'm happy with that.

SPEAKER_09 59:37

Yo, I watched the col or the high school one and get a lot right and feel good about myself. The elementary school one. Sometimes that one's hard because you forget all that shit. Like, you know, emancipation proclamation and all that kind of shit.

SPEAKER_07 59:52

I forgot that. What's three uh branches of government? Yeah. Executive, legislative, judicial. Come on, dude. Correctional. You forgot about the correctional. I didn't know about that one, but that I think that's under the judicial.

SPEAKER_09 1:00:06

No, actually, actually, listen to this. The courts are under the judicial. The um jails. Jails are under the legislative, right?

SPEAKER_03 1:00:19

Something like that, yes. And the same brand. And the really fucked up part is that most of the prisons in the United States are now privately owned.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:29

Yeah, right. Damn.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:31

Think about that.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:32

So they make like their own rules.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:35

All right, so this king of them packed on purpose.

SPEAKER_09 1:00:38

Yeah. This king of jeopardy is an Asian dude.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:41

What?

SPEAKER_09 1:00:41

And I think you're right. I think he is a little bit on the spectrum, but he is the most likable person ever. It can't be.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:48

He's Asian.

SPEAKER_09 1:00:50

But he's not even sweaty. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_07 1:00:53

Like Asians, they look sweaty.

SPEAKER_09 1:00:56

Yeah, this guy's this guy, it must put powder on him or something.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:58

It's oily. It's oil.

SPEAKER_09 1:01:00

Yeah, like rice oil. Peanut oil is what I was gonna say.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:04

I was gonna say, at least he's not black. But that was just for you.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:09

So he had a lot of the bleep somebody's come after it's already been saved.

SPEAKER_07 1:01:17

I used to think Joe was gonna like go back and put the bleep on top. Uh-uh.

SPEAKER_08 1:01:22

Stop pulling people out of my name. I was like, Joe, that beep's a little late, dude.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:36

He thought he was just marking them so it can be.

SPEAKER_08 1:01:38

Yeah, yeah. For the post-production. Straight from the shitter to the pot.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:48

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_09 1:01:48

Yeah, I don't fuck with that thing, man. If y'all say it, it's going on.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:52

Pre-during and post-production is all one thing.

SPEAKER_09 1:01:55

That's right. I mastered this bitch just enough so it sounds good. That's it. All right. You ready, Ferdinand? All right.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:02

So he's just who wait, based on whose measurement, though, like who decided that he is the most likely.

SPEAKER_09 1:02:09

He's won, he's won 24 nights in a row before 10 years.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:12

I thought it was 27.

SPEAKER_09 1:02:13

Maybe. I I might, the story might have been a day or two old. No, okay.

SPEAKER_07 1:02:17

27 is the record. And 29.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:18

No, Ken Jennings probably still has the record. Because he won for like hundreds of days in a row or some shit. Crazy, some crazy shit. 89 days.

SPEAKER_09 1:02:26

He's the he's the guy. He's the guy now.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:28

Yeah, he too he replaced Alex.

SPEAKER_09 1:02:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:31

Stop talking about that.

SPEAKER_09 1:02:34

He's just being inconsistent. I don't want it to pop. It's cut a couple times when you laughed.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:39

I try to go over here when I laugh.

SPEAKER_09 1:02:41

Yeah, you do good. Alright, you ready for the next one? This one's for me. But I want you guys to guess. It's a BBC wildlife article. What's the most dangerous animal in the USA? It's responsible for 440 deaths a year.

SPEAKER_07 1:03:07

I don't think you want my answer.

SPEAKER_09 1:03:10

In the USA. Go.

SPEAKER_07 1:03:11

The black man.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:14

See what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_09 1:03:17

They kill four hundred and forty black people in Chicago in summer.

SPEAKER_07 1:03:21

Now that's not a big number. No. Let me rephrase that.

SPEAKER_09 1:03:25

Um animals, man. Animals, not humans. We don't have rhinoceroses.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:35

Is this this is specifically wild animals?

SPEAKER_09 1:03:38

Animals.

SPEAKER_07 1:03:40

It says animals. I'd say like bees, man. Like bee allergy. Like I'd say something like fucking stupid. That's fucking good guess. Thank you. Thank you. What do you think? Is that a jeopardy winning answer, you think?

SPEAKER_09 1:04:01

I don't know. Seventy-eight people a year die from bee stings.

SPEAKER_07 1:04:06

Oh shit.

SPEAKER_09 1:04:07

And that's number one. Except white-tailed deer kill four hundred and forty people a year.

SPEAKER_08 1:04:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 1:04:20

Cars or motorcycles or you know, I mean whatever. Deer kill four hundred and forty people a year.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:26

Which technically means humans.

SPEAKER_09 1:04:30

Isn't that crazy?

SPEAKER_03 1:04:31

Kill themselves. You know what I mean? Like obviously you're not gonna purposely run into a deer, but you know what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_07 1:04:36

A lot of them deer still live. You ever like to do it? Yeah, that's true. Like you weren't really paying attention, you're driving, you're flying past a deer, and you're like, fuck me.

SPEAKER_09 1:04:46

So that man, I was riding down Route 16 one day, and I had been drinking. This was a long time ago, and the the guy in front of me had been drinking even more. So I was following him, and he was sort he was just back and forth across the line. And all of a sudden I see these deer coming, and I can see him. I'm behind him and I can see him. He ain't see him. One came out, boom. This deer must have went 30 fucking feet in the air, went completely over my truck. I was behind him, hit the road, one whole side of it didn't have hair on it, one leg didn't work, and it still ran out into the field.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:24

God damn.

SPEAKER_09 1:05:27

I had a uh a friend of mine that got hit by a car. I had a friend of mine get hit by a car, and he flew 140 feet or something like that, and he died.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:42

Moving on, he didn't get up and run into the field.

SPEAKER_09 1:05:52

The worst part was him and his girlfriend were arguing over a piece of pizza, and he went running. He was like, Fine, it was the last piece of pizza. Pizza. He was like, fine. And he went running out of uh the pizza place onto Route 1 in Ocean City, got hit. And she ran out there. Oh my God. Oh my God. And he said, You can pizza pizza. And then died.

SPEAKER_07 1:06:19

Like a hero. Bitch, this is your fault. Was it really that important? I'd go out peacefully. They'd be like, ew. This guy seems fine. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_09 1:06:36

Easy way out. He probably ran out in front of traffic on purpose.

SPEAKER_07 1:06:40

Get away from that broad.

SPEAKER_09 1:06:43

She was fucked up too, man. She was sad for a long time.

SPEAKER_07 1:06:46

Oh, I bet, dude.

SPEAKER_09 1:06:47

She had beautiful cans. All right.

SPEAKER_07 1:06:51

Got a pair of openers for those cans now. All right.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:55

That wasn't funny.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:58

That was a good one. That was a good one. That was a good one.

SPEAKER_09 1:07:02

All right. Um. Michelle? Next one. Michelle Lynnpuller's pain. The third. L. This is an L article. Not L, like the letter, but L, like E L L E. Understand. Okay. I want you I don't even know the answer to this one.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:32

Great.

SPEAKER_09 1:07:34

Maybe you'll know. Alright, maybe. You're black and you're a woman, so. Together we're one. Together, you're one. Leggings are out. Here is what's replacing them. I didn't know leggings were out.

SPEAKER_07 1:07:50

It's the ass crunch jeans, the ones that look like a woman has a wedgie. I think. Right? You think? I think.

SPEAKER_09 1:07:56

What do you think? What's the white woman say? What's replacing your leggings?

SPEAKER_03 1:08:02

I mean, if you're me, not a fucking thing. But if you're the bitches that read L, um, I don't know, scorts.

SPEAKER_07 1:08:11

What's L?

SPEAKER_03 1:08:12

A magazine. E-L-L-E.

SPEAKER_07 1:08:14

Like for what demographic like what age range? White women. Fancy.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:18

Uh rich white women.

SPEAKER_07 1:08:19

Oh, uh, probably Lululemon. Lululemon pants.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:22

Well, those are leggings, though. Lululemon is mostly leggings. Um, I mean, they do sell some other shit.

SPEAKER_09 1:08:27

Lululemon's and LuluRoe's and just two different things.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:30

Two different things. LuluRoe are buttery soft$20 leggings,$20 to$30 leggings. Lululemon are buttery soft$200 leggings.

SPEAKER_09 1:08:39

Why's Lulu got the market corner? Don't know. Lulu must be Jewish.

SPEAKER_07 1:08:45

It's because all the black people run in there and buy there have been black men wearing it like fucking idiots.

SPEAKER_09 1:08:50

Yeah?

SPEAKER_07 1:08:50

Yeah, because that's what my people do, wear women's clothing and fucking.

SPEAKER_09 1:08:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:08:56

Yeah. Try to make it cool.

SPEAKER_09 1:08:58

Well, y'all do make whatever's cool cool.

SPEAKER_07 1:09:00

That's true. Yeah, man. But you can't like, and Nisa, like, you know, like straight, you know.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:05

So why would you ask us that and not have the fucking answer?

SPEAKER_07 1:09:08

He doesn't have an answer for a lot of these, usually. Because I don't know. We just did talk about it.

SPEAKER_09 1:09:12

I hate that. I love it. Usually our answer is better than the real answer.

SPEAKER_07 1:09:16

That's a question I really like. I gotta look up the answer. Like, if it's really something like that.

SPEAKER_09 1:09:20

Well, everybody's got the internet. You know what I mean? Our answer's gonna be better than the real answer anyway. So you your your answer was what? Cargo pants.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:29

Oh, halara. No. Halal. Halara.

SPEAKER_09 1:09:33

Um is that what they wear in halal?

SPEAKER_03 1:09:34

No, halara, like my purple um uh overalls. I like those. That's what's replacing my leggings, is my overalls, my big baggy ass.

SPEAKER_09 1:09:44

I like those.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:44

They're fun, they're cute.

SPEAKER_09 1:09:46

Or what about the one piece? They come off easy as shit.

unknown 1:09:49

One piece.

SPEAKER_07 1:09:50

Yeah, the one piece is uh oh, jumpers, rompers.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:53

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:09:54

Or pants or those leggings.

SPEAKER_09 1:09:57

I'll tell you who would know this answer. Lex.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:59

Like yoga pants. Oh, fuck yeah, Lex would definitely know the answer to this.

SPEAKER_09 1:10:02

Yeah. All right, you ready for the last one?

SPEAKER_03 1:10:05

See.

SPEAKER_09 1:10:06

This one was especially meant for you as well.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:09

Okay, great. The fashion one was for sure for me.

unknown 1:10:15

So fashionable.

SPEAKER_09 1:10:16

Krispy Kreme is teaming up with one of New York's most iconic bakeries.

SPEAKER_07 1:10:22

You know what used to be uh a good thing about Salisbury? They had a Krispy Kreme. Now they don't, so the whole town can go to shit. God damn. I like DD better than Krispy Kreme.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:33

Yeah, I was gonna say, I don't care for Krispy Kreme donuts, but um I like them hot. Uh I probably should know the answer to that. The only thing that's coming to mind is Carmines, but that's a pizza place.

SPEAKER_09 1:10:46

Fracture prune. You ever been there?

SPEAKER_03 1:10:49

I love their fucking donuts. They're so good. By the way, donuts are the best substance on the fucking planet. That's why. I'm not allowed to fucking eat them anymore.

SPEAKER_09 1:11:00

Somebody gotta come out with a gluten-free donut. It was some.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:03

I've no, I've had some that weren't bad. Them little ones, some little donuts. Oh yeah, they were good. Joseph ate the hell out of them. Yeah. I also had gluten-free eclairs, them little eclairs, which I thought were.

SPEAKER_09 1:11:13

Oh, those were real good.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:14

I thought they were good.

SPEAKER_09 1:11:15

I ate six or ten of them.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:16

Not too bad. They were like this big.

SPEAKER_09 1:11:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:19

Like little teeny tiny eclairs, but they were gluten-free. And they were actually delicious. Yeah. They were delicious. They were actually delicious.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:25

Magically delicious.

SPEAKER_09 1:11:27

What do you think the two, the uh crispy creams teaming up, who they're teaming up with and what are they making?

SPEAKER_07 1:11:32

Uh what's that place? Fuck. I can't remember what the name is. Crumble cookie. Ooh, that was good cast. Yeah, because fucking people are eating that garbage. Uh that's not it, but it's a bakery. Yeah. Tasty cake. Milk bar.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:48

Oh, milk bar.

SPEAKER_07 1:11:49

Do you know what that is? Yeah. Do you? It's like uh it's like a cake, but it's like milk and it's like flaky or something. Like that milk bar. Like the I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:02

No, I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_09 1:12:03

Milk bar is a a bakery. Yeah. Some famous woman.

SPEAKER_07 1:12:08

Oh, I don't know. I have no clue.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:10

It's um Loyota.

SPEAKER_07 1:12:15

Ray?

SPEAKER_09 1:12:16

Jamil?

SPEAKER_07 1:12:17

Loyota? Machida. Gone Cheetle.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:23

Y'all bug me out. That was an awesome string there. Thank you. Whatever I had been thinking of is completely fucking gone now. That was way better than anything I was thinking of.

SPEAKER_09 1:12:36

Yeah, some famous woman owns uh a bakery called Milk, and they're combining to make a whole line of treats that are going to be available coast to coast, just like Krispy Kreme donuts.

SPEAKER_07 1:12:49

Fuck that, man. Just bring Krispy Kreme back to Salisbury. There's not a lot of reasons to go to Salisbury, man.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:56

I would rather there be a Dunkin' Donuts. But there is one.

SPEAKER_07 1:13:00

There's Dunkin' Donuts everywhere. Like the thing I don't like about Dunkin', and maybe it's just because I've always had Dunkin'. Right. Like uh they're just never hot or warm.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:09

So I've heard that argument before, but um you could always warm them. Not on the spot necessarily, but you could always warm them.

SPEAKER_09 1:13:19

Put them on a uh that's what I do.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:20

I buy donuts and put them in the microwave. But what am I tipping for?

SPEAKER_09 1:13:24

Put them on a dash. You don't tip them anyway.

SPEAKER_07 1:13:26

You're damn right. No, you this is why I don't for shit like this.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:35

I wonder if they'd do it for you.

SPEAKER_09 1:13:37

If you ask them to do that, they'd probably give you like a oh yeah, do sit it on your dash, put it in that plastic bag to give it to you, and then sit it on your dash for five minutes, and it's fine.

SPEAKER_07 1:13:45

Then I gotta sweat for five minutes. Oh, you can't blast my heat. You ain't gonna blast your heat in the sunshine.

SPEAKER_09 1:13:51

The sunshine. Wow. We used to take our scrapple sandwiches and put them in the engine block, put them under the hood, put the hood down real easy, and then go to work, and they come back and they'd be like a fucking candy bar, man. Be good as shit.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:04

All you used to always do that with it in your on your dashboard.

SPEAKER_09 1:14:07

On my dashboard too, yeah. I love scrapple egg and cheese. Scrapple, egg and cheese candy bar. And you couldn't tell where the egg started and the scrapple started and the bread. It was just like a one piece of thing.

SPEAKER_07 1:14:19

So I've gotten uh this woman, you know, that I've been talking to. She uh she gets mad that I leave food in my car and then I'll eat it.

SPEAKER_09 1:14:28

I do that constantly.

SPEAKER_07 1:14:30

Dude, I had like some halal food in my car. Oh, how many days? One. Oh, that's not bad. But like I can't turn the car on to like smoke cigarettes, so the heat would, you know, I mean, warm it up and then get cold again, then warm up. But yeah, so I'm sure that wasn't good. Then I let it sit in the fridge for three days and then I ate it.

SPEAKER_09 1:14:48

Yeah.

unknown 1:14:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:14:48

And then I did it make you shit? No. I mean I I already I shit. And this is what I was telling her. I was like, I already shit bad. So I can't really tell you what good shitting is. You never had caviar. I can't tell you. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_03 1:15:06

Do you want to know how to shit?

SPEAKER_07 1:15:08

Get good shits easily. What is a bad shit first?

SPEAKER_03 1:15:13

Well, I mean, is it super runny, watery?

SPEAKER_07 1:15:16

Yeah, it's never a solid, no.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:18

That's bad shit.

SPEAKER_07 1:15:19

I had that time. I had that for 15 years.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:21

That's what I mean. Eventually it goes away. What the fuck do we even talk about?

SPEAKER_07 1:15:26

Yeah, what is it called in that game? Uh I was alcoholic.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:31

It's called alcoholism. No, but for real, if you got icky shits, it's like that's bad.

SPEAKER_07 1:15:40

But like But do you have stomach pain? Nah, I mean, sometimes, like uh when I was like getting in my car today, like to go home from work, like uh I had a really sharp pain in my stomach. I was like, oh god, I'm gonna have to go to Royal Farms and shit, or I'm not gonna make it home. But then I sat there for a couple minutes, smoked a cigarette, and then I was fine.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:59

You never went away?

SPEAKER_07 1:16:01

I mean, sometimes it's solid, but like it's like, you know, I mean, the majority of the time it's not. But I don't mind, you know. Well, if you don't mind, then the cleanup you wouldn't think the cleanup is a lot easier when it's like, you know what I'm saying? Got a little moisture with it. Yeah, you know, it gets out of there quick. You know, not dry.

SPEAKER_09 1:16:21

I had a bunch of farts the other day, and horrible farts. Horrible, horrible farts. I had these farts, like it was so much it like raised me up off my seat a little bit, like a like that. And then I went into Lowe's and my butt was itching, and my I went in lows and I did a maintenance wipe, and it was not clean. It was not even a little clean. Yeah, I said, man, had to get rid of that. And then it made a rash in my butt crack, so I had to spray um turn it onaflate. Turnin' downaflate in my butt crack. The stuff for the athlete's foot. You're spraying like engine cleaner. No, no, no, no, no, no. It's for athlete's foot.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:01

So I Tanactin.

SPEAKER_09 1:17:03

Yeah, tough actin, tough actin, tenactinactin in your ass. I wash it with uh um the sponge out of the sink in the kitchen that's got the rough side and get all the dead skin off, and then spray tough actin, tenactin on it. And it goes away in like two days when I treat it like that.

SPEAKER_07 1:17:18

You gotta like designate your ass sponge, man.

SPEAKER_09 1:17:22

No, I'll put it back in the sink.

SPEAKER_07 1:17:24

You can't even say my kitchen sponge.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:27

You know what's funny? I ain't even he's trying to say that shit to bother me. I ain't even bothered because I know he's lying because he knows with 100% motherfucking certainty if he did some shit like that, I would kill his ass.

SPEAKER_09 1:17:39

And when you get athlete's foot real bad and your skin starts peeling between your toes, you gotta get something rough in there to get all of it off.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:45

So he uses my toothbrush.

SPEAKER_07 1:17:49

What do I do about that? I got some shit like that in between the toes.

SPEAKER_09 1:17:52

You gotta wash it. This is real. Wash it, and then get you some tonanuniflate. Yes. And it'll it'll burn. If it don't burn, it ain't killing it. That's what I say. It's gotta hurt a little bit. It's gotta hurt a little bit. So you shake it up real good and it feels cold, and and then you spray a whole bunch of it on there and you put a sock on and you go to sleep. And in the morning you wake up and you put another sock on to go wherever you're going.

SPEAKER_07 1:18:17

Two socks.

SPEAKER_09 1:18:18

No, no, no. Uh take the other one off. Yeah, gotcha. It's a little more laundry. You gotta do a little more laundry, but it'll clear it up in a couple days. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:18:30

Just roll right up the feet.

SPEAKER_09 1:18:31

Put lotion on your feet? You don't?

SPEAKER_07 1:18:34

Yeah, that's a good move. Because my feet are rough, dude.

SPEAKER_09 1:18:36

I don't.

SPEAKER_07 1:18:37

I mean, I probably shouldn't until I get them taken care of first, but you know. You get pedicures.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:41

Well, if that's if what is between your toes is fungal related and you're putting lotion on it and then putting a sock on and going to work, you're absolutely making that fungal infection worse.

SPEAKER_07 1:18:52

I don't think it's a fungal infection. I think I just got dead skin between my toes. That's it. Does it itch? No, it doesn't hit.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:57

Do you want between your toes in the shower?

SPEAKER_07 1:18:59

Do I scratch? Do I scratch it? Yes, and I dry between them. Not all the time, but I try I tried.

SPEAKER_09 1:19:04

All right, here's the test.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:04

Try, dry between them. You ready? Then that's probably fungal.

SPEAKER_09 1:19:07

Take your finger, that like this, and go between your toes, like shh sh back and forth, and then smell it. And what should it smell like?

SPEAKER_07 1:19:15

Or what should it not smell like?

SPEAKER_09 1:19:17

If it smells like uh vinegary fungus, you need to kill it. It's alive. It's like yogurt between your toes, kinda. Right? It's like yogurt between your toes. Just trust me.

SPEAKER_07 1:19:33

Take care of that. I don't think so.

SPEAKER_09 1:19:34

You want to scrub it, you want to scrub it and then spray the toner and annual flate on it, and then put the sock on. I'm telling you. Wake up in the morning, put a new fresh sock on, and you gotta keep it dry all day. Dry is important. Right. If it gets wet, change your sock. Right. Right? My dad had uh, my dad gave me jungle rot, and I got a hand. Is it this hand or this hand? One of my hands used to get crazy. Like my nail would die, my skin would fucking peel off, all these, all my joints would crack and bleed, and I just fucking just keep going. You know what I mean? And it would just be nasty. And then it got to where this hand started getting bad, and they did this test, a liver enzyme test, and gave me this pill that killed all the fungus in my body. You just got like dysentery, man. Do you remember that? My toe, I had a couple toenails that had fungus. I had different funguses all over my body. That shit's so rough, man, it kills them all. Kills them all.

unknown 1:20:32

Wow.

SPEAKER_09 1:20:33

But you gotta do it when you're young.

SPEAKER_07 1:20:34

Yeah, I gotta get this shit off my feet, man. I don't think it's that bad, but I mean, dead skin clearly can't just be good. It can't just be there. I'm assuming.

SPEAKER_09 1:20:42

Right. Something for something to feed on. Get rats in your shot.

SPEAKER_07 1:20:45

He's woman to get it off. Yeah. You like pedicures? Nope. I don't like people touching my feet. I don't even like to pull my feet out. You like pedicures, don't you?

SPEAKER_03 1:20:55

Getting them, yes. I mean, I didn't mind giving pedicures, but I love yeah, receiving a pedicure.

SPEAKER_09 1:21:03

The one that you got me.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:06

Which one in Mexico or here?

SPEAKER_09 1:21:08

Not in Mexico. The one in Mexico sucked. It was painful. Man, these girls they're medical.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:14

Those are medical.

SPEAKER_09 1:21:15

Jesus fucking Christ, man. They push your cuticles way the fuck back and dig these big pieces of meat out of. I don't know. I was like, what the fuck? All everything's bleeding. Mine didn't. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:21:28

Yeah, but I said you just got rough shit, man.

SPEAKER_09 1:21:31

Anyway, but the one in Columbia, Maryland. That shit was nice. The girl was cute. She was funny. It was it was cool.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:39

You had them painted black, right? Yeah. Or red.

SPEAKER_07 1:21:43

Black, I think. I can't remember. I was painted for a little bit.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:46

Well, yeah, I mean, lots of men actually get pedicures, especially men who like wrestle and fight and stuff like that. But um most men don't actually get colors, but you know, he's Joe. So he was like, fuck it, I'm getting a pedicure, I'm getting a color, bitch. Like, and first he picked up sparkly red, and then he seen the black and he's like, I think I did get some.

SPEAKER_09 1:22:07

I was thinking about that. Didn't I get something sparkly?

SPEAKER_03 1:22:09

No, you have you first you picked up the sparkly red, and then you decided on the black.

SPEAKER_09 1:22:13

Oh.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:16

Black. And I was like, I'm I'm down with either. It's whatever.

SPEAKER_07 1:22:20

I don't get red, but I painted my fingernails black, and then I didn't red. And then red, they just look dumb because my fingernails weren't that long. So yeah, just very stubby red fingertips. Like hot legs, actually. Ah mama sausages.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:36

Pedicure's nice, man. I love it.

SPEAKER_09 1:22:38

Yeah, I like the second one. I like the second one.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:41

That's a real pedicure. And look, we did the one in Mexico, which actually your brother paid for, I think. And uh he was like, that shit sucked. And so I'm trying to get him to go get a pedicure with me because he had bad feet, you know what I mean? And I was like, it'll be good for your feet, baby, for the health of your feet. And he was just like, nah, shit sucks. And I'm like, listen, this shit ain't the same here as it is in fucking Mexico. It's not, and I didn't hate the one we had in Mexico, but it was a different thing. There was no polish for anyone, even women. It was a medical pedicure. And so, you know, I was like, please trust me, you will enjoy this. You soak your feet in hot water, they massage your legs, they massage your feet, they fucking clean you up, and you can get polish if you want or you don't. You know what I mean? It's up to you. And then afterwards, he was like, That shit was fucking awesome. But I was like, I try to tell you.

SPEAKER_09 1:23:27

Yeah, man.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:28

And we also did a float that day. We floated and it was in like mud? No, in water.

SPEAKER_09 1:23:34

And real salty. So it makes you more buoyant.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:38

It's high salinity in the water. So it literally, like, like what is the lake with the salt? Salt lake. Great salt lake, is that what's called? And you literally float. So it's a tub. And I had wanted to do it, but I was a little bit scared, like claustrophobic-wise. So I was like, Will you do this with me? And they have a couple's tub, so we're laying in a tub together. It's the it's totally black in the room. You can have a little bit of like ambient light if you want, but we chose blackness. You can have music or not, you know what I mean? And you literally just float, and it's so relaxing.

SPEAKER_09 1:24:11

Yeah, you feel like you're weightless, like you're in outer space.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:14

It it was cool, and you lose really, really cool.

SPEAKER_09 1:24:16

You kind of lose when you really sink into everything, really. You fall into it.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:21

Yeah, that's kind of the point. Yeah, you can it's completely sensory depth the wally trippy thing. Sorry.

SPEAKER_09 1:24:27

No, no, no, I'm sorry. The water is the same temperature as your body. So you don't feel that you're in water, it just feels like you're floating, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_03 1:24:37

Yeah, like almost like you're a part of it.

SPEAKER_07 1:24:39

It feels like you're back, you know what I mean? In the womb. Yeah, kinda, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:44

It's super trippy, like you can you can ha have like trips. I'm sure if you got good at it.

SPEAKER_07 1:24:51

Yeah, for sure. Lucid dreaming.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:54

And so and it was a room with a tub, basically, but they have float tanks where it's literally like a box, which is more of a deprivation and more of a chance of like tripping and stuff like that. But I was I'm slightly claustrophobic, so I was scared. I like the panic.

SPEAKER_08 1:25:16

Yeah, I like that.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:17

A lot of people do, a lot of people do, like you would probably like that kind, but like I like I said, I was kind of worried. And after the fact, he was like, I'd like to do that again, but by myself. And I was like, Word, you know, yeah, like word. I asked him to do it with me, like as like my safety net, you know what I mean? Because I was like, if I start to freak the fuck out, you come back too, and you're like, what the fuck? I like somebody who's got my back. I'm not in a strange place with strange people.

SPEAKER_09 1:25:45

Yeah, I liked it, except I got some in my ear and it fucked me up for a while.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:50

It was water in your ear for a long time. I forgot about it.

SPEAKER_09 1:25:53

Months.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:54

Yeah, it was weird.

SPEAKER_09 1:25:55

It's causing me problems, like I could smell it in one side of my nostril, you know what I'm saying? It was fucking weird, but it was my fault. You want to tell people one more time about your show this weekend, baby?

SPEAKER_03 1:26:06

Sure. Thursday night, Friday night, Saturday night, 7 p.m., Sunday at 2 p.m. Um Oxford Community Center in Oxford, Maryland. Don't dress for dinner. Um it's Tread Avon Players. Come see us.

SPEAKER_09 1:26:23

How do you get tickets?

SPEAKER_03 1:26:24

You can get tickets on Treadavonplayers.org. That's T-R-E-D A-V-O-N P-L-A-E wrong P-L-A-Y-E-R-S.org. I think it's org.

SPEAKER_09 1:26:41

Org. It's a nonprofit. We're checking that. Org means informational or something, right? Government organization. Government, yeah, organization. What you got, Izzy? Um, I've got big swings with you, man. Oh shit. April 25th, big swings.

SPEAKER_07 1:27:00

Oh yeah. And I just got added to that show uh with y'all on May 1st.

SPEAKER_09 1:27:05

Nice. Oh yeah. Tomorrow I am featuring at the motorhouse. And then turning around and featuring at Nottingham's.

SPEAKER_07 1:27:21

Ooh shit.

SPEAKER_09 1:27:24

So I get to do two longer sats tomorrow. That'll be fun. Hell yeah. You going with me, right?

SPEAKER_07 1:27:30

Yes, sir.

SPEAKER_09 1:27:32

All right, cool.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:32

It is that org. Tread T R E D. Avonplayers.org.

SPEAKER_09 1:27:38

Treadavonplayers.org. I love you.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:44

I love you.

SPEAKER_09 1:27:45

I love you, buddy.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:46

Thanks for finally having me on.

SPEAKER_09 1:27:47

Yeah, man. I love you. Joe Spain Comedy.com.