OGYN Podcast

OGYN #32 Zack "Roasty Roast" Spicer @$#* Talking 101 and The Facebook Soaps

Joe Spain and Izzy Tingle Season 1 Episode 32

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     In this Episode: Big Swings Drops on Youtube, Zack goes on a rant to set the record straight, Izzy and Zack educate Joe on The Facebook Soap, Joe is told of his affair with Izzy, Zack continuously plugs another production company, Music, Sports, NBA Playoffs, NHL Playoffs, Headlines from around the world. 

     Joe and Izzy chop it up and tackle all the tough issues with comedy. Live Show tix joespaincomedy.com 

Thank you to everyone who laughs with us. Please Like, Share and comment to keep us improving. Spread the laughter. 

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, another episode of OGY and PiCast. I am Joe Spain here with my man, Isaiah Tingle. What's going on, man? Hey, buddy boy. I'm gonna tell you I like your hair. Thank you, man. I like when you do it like that. Makes people scared of us as long as you don't talk.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, no, right.

SPEAKER_02

And sitting with us this week, we have Zach Spicer.

SPEAKER_06

What's up, guys?

SPEAKER_02

How you doing, buddy?

SPEAKER_06

I like his hair. Makes me want to eat gummy worms. Enough about my hair. Gummy worms is a good thing. It wasn't an insult.

SPEAKER_02

I like gummy worms, except they make you poop weird.

SPEAKER_06

Some people have that curly hair where it's like Arby's curly frogs. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Have you ever heard a joke that uh um what's his name? Doug Stan Hope Tells about the prostitute and the economy crashing and she gotta stop doing eating gummy bears because she gotta keep her shit pussy tight. Ha ha ha, it's a good one, man. It's a very well structured, funny.

SPEAKER_06

I like I like those where you're like somebody overthought that, you know, in a good way, like, but like they really thought about, you know.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah. I love Stan. Yeah, I love Stan. Can you still hear yourself? Say what? Can you still hear yourself? No. You can't hear yourself? Uh uh. I can't hear you.

SPEAKER_05

I don't hear you guys in it.

SPEAKER_01

You what's that? You don't hear nothing?

SPEAKER_02

In your headphones? That's very weird. Something just changed. I don't know what it was. Let me pause real quick. Alright. Now we should be back. Yeah, we're back. We got a fucking We got attacked by a remote control, man. That was crazy. Anyway, what was I talking about before all that shit happened?

SPEAKER_06

You were talking about the joke.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, the joke. Yeah. The gummy bears, because we were talking about his hair. So big swings just came out. I want to get that out.

SPEAKER_06

And that's the one that's avoided, correct? Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

It just came out at six o'clock. Hell yeah. I ain't seen it yet, but it's out, so hopefully we'll get to see it later.

SPEAKER_05

I have to watch it because I I missed it that day.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, because you got uh you went to Dickens or something, I think. You got a guest spot at the last minute somewhere. Cause you were there.

SPEAKER_03

The yacht club, you see for the yacht club, right? Was it the yacht club?

SPEAKER_05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

That's not Oxy Nemo. That's an Ox Nemo.

SPEAKER_02

The yacht club. Yeah, so that's on Focus All Comedy on YouTube. Go check that shit out. Fucking Sean Chavoy. Bunch of comics from down Delaware Way. Yeah, yeah. And then tomorrow, you're going to go to you're going to New York tomorrow, right?

SPEAKER_06

Tomorrow Wednesday, yeah. Tomorrow's Wednesday. Yep. I'm going to be riding with uh taking a little road trip with Chris Pierce.

SPEAKER_02

You all going to be around.

SPEAKER_06

Oh shit. Yeah, he's so he's going against up against uh uh a guy you know pretty well. Yeah, yeah, Jay Simpson. Dude, that lineup is sick. Like I'm I'm pretty excited. It's first time ever on a uh like I've done roast before that they're like, you know what I mean? Right. Lower low, like the stuff you'd have at like a Dave and Busters or something, you know what I mean? But uh but this one is uh Grove 34. Uh but it's RBL. It's uh Dan Wick's a great guy. Like he's cool as shit.

SPEAKER_02

That's funny.

SPEAKER_05

He's funny as shit. I think he's number one and uh they have like uh they have like uh weekly rankings or monthly rankings and stuff.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

So go ahead, man. Tell me what's going on.

SPEAKER_06

Oh the drop yeah, tell me about this.

SPEAKER_02

I don't know. I don't know anything about it. Might as well get it fucking out. Tell me.

SPEAKER_06

It's ridiculous. I don't even know where to where did it start?

SPEAKER_02

Where did it all even begin? Where I don't know where did it all start? Comic drama.

SPEAKER_06

It's a long, long time uh ago. Uh no, it uh actually uh it started it started with uh uh a roast, technically, I guess.

SPEAKER_02

I know very little, so you gotta treat me like I'm like very little. So I roasted the room. You did.

SPEAKER_06

Well not yeah, I don't know. It's an open mic. Yeah, yeah, it's an open mic. And uh I just kinda got everybody. It was uh, you know. And uh there was vague. The problem is, you know what I mean? It's uh when you when you deal with people that uh is vaguity a word? Or is it vaguety? Vaguity, they're vague, everything's very vague, you know what I mean? You're dealing with very indirect people, you know what I mean? Yeah, so yeah, and they're like emotional, like you know what I mean? Like uh comics? I don't have a daughter, but I guess if you had like a 13-year-old daughter and she was on Facebook, you know what I mean? That's kind of the way she would, I assume that she would act. You know what I mean? A lot of vague, like, you know, horrible day, guys. Oh my gosh, guys, such big news, guys. Pray for me. Don't do a prayer channel for me, guys. Like, it's such and you're just like, shut up, Sarah. What's the name? Just tell us, you know what I mean? What? Like, you know, you're like, oh god, like just yeah.

SPEAKER_02

I won't play some happy music in the background. So go ahead, keep going. Yeah, so what happened though? Who are we up?

SPEAKER_06

Oh, so there was a comment that was uh, you know, back in my day. Yeah, uh, I I don't know, quick, fast, and in a hurry.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, it got real, and then it's weird, right?

SPEAKER_06

Like, then you watch this 13-year-old girl not have any interactions to her post, and then she like re-shares it and tags it at the top with like a you know, I can fight, but I choose violence. You know what I mean? And it's like, what are we, what are we, what are we talking about? Over what a joke, you know what I mean? Like, what are we are we in a comedy club or a fight club? You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02

Like, nobody was really mad though, right? Or something's really mad.

SPEAKER_07

People's feelings are you can't tell because they're 13 and they're you know what I mean, and they're on their period. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_06

You're like, somebody give this fucking guy a glass of fucking cranberry juice, quick, stat, you know what I mean? Quick, fast and in a hurry, please. Oh man. Like, I've never seen so many men sync up at the same time on a moon cycle. It's fucking crazy. It wasn't jokes.

SPEAKER_02

It was a fingernail moon last night, too. I seen it. Oh man. I stood out there and looked at it with skeet. Did you? Yeah, man, we almost held hands. It was close. Fuck, man. Yeah, I can't wait to see him on big swings. Man, he's too much, but he's just a no. He's just a no. All right, so you told jokes and somebody got pissy. Yeah, yeah. Just tell him what was. Who got pissy?

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, which part, where do you want to start? Which one?

SPEAKER_02

I don't know anything. All I saw, here, I'll tell you what I saw. Let's start from here. Here's what I saw. I saw cartoons that were funny, weren't mean, they were funny. I mean, they were a little bit mean, but they were funny mean. And yesterday somebody showed me screenshots of Trip talking to Trip talking to Izzy.

SPEAKER_06

Don't I got that shit? But that's uh that is the But that's all I seen. But that's all I seen. That's a gnat on the ass of an elephant. You know what I mean? Like, Trip, like, give him a shout out. Buy a shirt, buy a shirt. Somebody buy a shirt from this guy. He wants attention. His name's Trip Dewberry. He's on Facebook. Please follow him everywhere. Buy all his merchandise. Please, for fuck's sake. Double XL, double XL. You know what I mean? There. I'll help your t-shirts this should sell. Like, please, somebody buy from a don't even buy it. Just send him money on Cash App. That guy. No, don't send that. Honestly, don't send that. Send attention. That's what he needs. He needs attention.

SPEAKER_02

I mean, I'll buy a shirt from a kid, man.

SPEAKER_06

Joe, I will slap the shit out of you. I don't choose violets like most people. You know what I mean? But yeah. I don't care. I mean, it's it's it was all right. It was funny, but he had his DoorDate t-shirts were on the back of him. Yeah, so y'all were busting chop.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, but y'all were busting chops. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_06

So that's where the anger came from? Some person, Ryan Morse, shout out Morse Code Productions. You know what I mean? Because slap your name and everything on everything. You know what I mean? So yeah. So Ryan Morris left, and apparently, like he called like two or three people to be like, Zach was on stage talking shit on you. You know what I mean? Because I guess when you're, you know what I mean, when you're all in tune with the universe or whatever, you gotta I'm just gonna get it out.

SPEAKER_07

You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_06

What's happening on a Tuesday? You taco eating motherfucker. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02

I love taco. Oh, they were good, buddy.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah. So anyway, no, no, no. He did a uh, what do you call it? Not a prayer chain, not a prayer circuit, what's it called? A phone chain? Like where you call people and you're like, hey, hey, you won't believe with this comic set on stage tonight. It was it was kind of mean, you know what I mean? And like, and really, if they have a problem with it, you know what I mean? Like, he's calling a guy, and it's you know, I don't know. I don't know what their problem is because there's been no communication. No, I think we should just get together. I'm fine with that. I don't care. Let's have a roast. No, no, but why? And what? And what? And what? Why to charge an audience? You know what I mean? Like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_02

No audience. Yeah, no audience. No cameras.

SPEAKER_06

These guys are I don't care. I don't care about that part. I'm just saying, charge people money. Hey, you remember in the 80s, you remember in the 80s. That's my whole point. That's my whole point. That's why I lost it. You know what I mean? I literally lost it on a day, but I was like, hey, I can't get in touch with this fucking asshole. You know what I mean? I've been messaging them for fucking two weeks. You know what I mean? We did drugs together for six months, you know what I mean? The same fucking car, you know? Fucking shout out Morris Cover Productions, you know what I mean? Like fucking Ryan Morris, fucking great guy. Yeah, he unfriended me on Facebook, you know what I mean? Like, what is it? Who was those guys? Chuck Norris and Clint Eastwood. Remember when Chuck Norris unfriended Clint Eastwood? You're old enough to remember. Back when men were men, you know what I mean? What a fucking pussy. What a dork. He's not even a pussy. That's an insult to pussies. He's fucking apologies to all females with a pussy. And men, and I don't know, 2026, but anyway, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

I'm gonna mute you.

SPEAKER_06

Thank you, please. Fuck. I told you this one warned you about.

SPEAKER_02

No, I liked it. It's funny, man. It's good.

SPEAKER_07

So where are we? Where are we in the story? We jumped like three.

SPEAKER_02

This is like yo, remember in the 80s? Remember in the 80s, they would just throw down a piece of cardboard anywhere. That's how we got due to roast.

SPEAKER_07

That's how I feel about open mics. I'm like, hey, you know what I mean? I've been there two years, right? All right? I've been there two years. It's not like a long time.

SPEAKER_06

But my thing is, I've seen motherfuckers in there get up and be so like, I don't, I don't even I'm not even gonna say unfunny. You know what I mean? I'm just gonna say some people stand on stage and talk into the mic, and that's fine, it's therapeutic. Some people do, they use it as therapy. And I've listened to a lot of therapy, Joe. You know what I mean? Like, I've listened to a lot of therapy in there. And and I've always just tried to go up and do jokes, you know what I mean, do comedy. So this is the one night, all I asked, all I asked was like, hey, this is my therapy night. That's all I asked. You know what I mean? So that's a therapy session. That at that point you've entered into a contract, you know what I mean? That what is it, HIPAA or whatever, where you get you can't go unless I say I'm gonna hurt somebody or myself, you know what I mean? My psychiatrist, you can't go and do anything, right? But no, this guy's in the crowd, watching me to have a therapy session, you know what I mean? And then he gets on, I guess he hops in his, well, not his, he hops in somebody's car, you know what I mean? Shout out Morse code fucking productions, Ryan Morse. He's not a dork at all. Great guy. Uh yeah, so uh so anyway, um, yeah, he went and like called and I guess was like, hey, he said mean things about you, you know, at a comedy club on stage or whatever.

SPEAKER_02

Have anybody ever told you guys that I said something mean about you?

SPEAKER_06

Because I have. You're funny, but there's no reason to do that. No, but I but I know you'd tell me to my face.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, yeah, I have.

SPEAKER_06

You wouldn't be indirect. You wouldn't go on Facebook and be like, hey, fat guys with beards are not as funny as they think they are. Hashtag nobody, hashtag vag, hashtag indirect, hashtag fucking, I mean what? Like, it's it's what it you know, it's Facebook world though. That's why I that's what I'm most mad at. I'm mad at myself that it's it's Facebook world, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_08

And now you know, and now I know.

SPEAKER_02

I have never crossed the line, and I should.

SPEAKER_08

Everybody, man, why don't you have a Facebook?

SPEAKER_02

Don't you have a Facebook? Don't do it. I would post in Ghost anyway. I wouldn't spend no time on it.

SPEAKER_07

That's I wish they did. That would be great. That's what I wanted to do. That's what I wanted to do.

SPEAKER_06

You know what I mean? That was my that was the whole plan. So anyway, yeah, no, he um he did that. So I went back week two and I just I had another, wasn't even a therapy session.

SPEAKER_02

I just you know it seems like there's been a lot of them that's a lot of people.

SPEAKER_06

And it's not like I'm I'm not going up there and boring the people, you know what I mean? They seem to be laughing there by the fact they're laughing, you know? So it's not like anybody's like, hey, we completely disagree. You know what I mean? Like, we don't think that's funny at all.

SPEAKER_02

I don't know. Fucking I had fucking fun last night. I had a great time on stage last night, but I didn't know about any of that. I didn't fucking understand. Like people kept saying things, and I was like, what's that? Yeah, what's that mean? What's that mean? And I don't know if you sent it to me early in the day. What the somebody sent me one of the um the cartoons before this shit gets out?

SPEAKER_03

I didn't send shit to nobody. You know what I'm saying? I did not send shit to nobody about the flyer. I thought it was funny as shit though, but I showed you uh later that night after everyone.

SPEAKER_02

No, no, no. Then you didn't send it to me the first time.

SPEAKER_03

I didn't send it to you.

SPEAKER_02

Because I asked you for it that night.

SPEAKER_03

Which one? Which one are you?

SPEAKER_02

It was the one with um Big Tony, like uh Big Daddy Kane style with the with the gold chains, and like I think he was smoking a cigar, and Ryan Morris was a little teeny dog with a little teeny penis.

SPEAKER_03

Comedically accurate.

SPEAKER_02

I thought it was fucking hilarious.

SPEAKER_06

Thank you. That was the funny one. Then there was another one.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, you made them? Yeah, I made those.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, I mean, I didn't pay them.

SPEAKER_02

I didn't know where they came from. Did you send it to me earlier in the day? No, I sent it to you last night when you asked me to show us or Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know about last night. Somebody sent it to me early in the day. Wow. Because I asked Shauna if she seen it. She was like, no. And me and her were cracking, but I didn't know about any of the illness. I just thought it was a joke. You know what I mean? Like, ah, that's fucking all, you know.

SPEAKER_06

No, that was just sarcasm. That was literally just that's my whole thing was. I was like, made me sweat. Like, hey, yeah, that's what the whole thing was. Hey, he said, tell me, what are we gonna do? We're gonna paste post vague messages. I was like, yeah, that's all it is, and share memes. I'm like, it's funny, man. Big deal. And then it was like, hey, yeah, because this whole thing is they it's like annoying when the 13-year-old girls try to take like a high road. Like when they try to take a high road of like, the best reply is no reply. I'm like, you literally are in the middle of a reply explaining how you're not replying. Like, does anybody understand irony? Like, no, nobody gets it. All right.

SPEAKER_02

You know, you know what, man. What? I appreciate you letting all this out.

SPEAKER_06

Dude, I'll be honest where he comes from. Honestly, he comes from a uh a place that uh started his friendship. That's what was annoying. So your feelings hurt a little bit. He went, he went and got clean on his own. I went and got clean as my own, right? And when we link back which couples have to do. When we link back up, exactly. Exactly. When we link back up out, right? He like hops in the whip and he's like, he's like, hey, I'm you know, I'm going to the job. I'm like, dope, like I'm I'm doing well too. Like that's that's great. Like, cool to like, man, we ain't caught up in forever. Like, let's link up. Yeah, let's link up.

SPEAKER_08

Let's link up, right?

SPEAKER_06

And uh, and so uh, so like yes, for the next like 10 days, you know what I mean? I literally texted him. It was like that. Remember the social network where they're like, Wait, why didn't you reply for 15 days before you stole his idea? You know what I mean? Not really stuff like when it was just uh it was like 10 days like hey, what's up? So I went and went and uh installed at a show. We were on the same show. So I literally go outside. I was like, dude, what is with the like I've been texting you like do anything, like link up, like whatever, like you know. And uh, and so he tells me he's like uh oh, you know, I was really hurt when uh when I heard these things about uh uh who you're who you're who you're dating, because uh I was I was this uh I was unfriended a woman for that. That's how yeah. So I was like, dude, I was like, I saw where you text me that the one time like like five days before this encounter, right? Right after so I just didn't text him back. I'm like, I'll talk to him in person. But that's my thing, it was I was like, hey, I didn't want to be indirect, so I wanted to talk to you in person about it and be like, is this really why you're mad with me? You know? And he's like, Oh no, no, it's not that. It's just like you know, we all hung out, we were all hanging out, and then you and fat just like stop hanging out with me, and you guys started doing shows together, and and you know, and you I'm like, what do you think? We're frolicking, like I'm literally I'm sleeping on his fucking floor, we're in survival mode, you know what I mean? Like, like we're basically surviving together. He took me in when I, you know what I mean? Like, so uh, so I'm like, dude, is this what it is? No, oh no, no, no, it's not that, it's just fat. So again, I told him, I'm like, I don't know what fantasy you're living, but like you were in Fat's X's DM, you know what I mean? Like the audacity of fat went through a breakup. We Ryan myself, shout out Ryan Morris, Morris Production, Morris Code Productions or whatever. Stupid, he went, you know, slap it on everything. It's all different mics, it's awesome.

SPEAKER_02

Um I ain't said much neither.

SPEAKER_06

I did the stone part because I don't remember where I was in the story.

SPEAKER_02

Um is there any chance of you patching this up or you kind of I give no fucks? It kind of looks like you're holding your boo when you do it.

SPEAKER_06

It literally was just being this though. I'm like, dude, you already know that like fat stopped fucking with you because even though you were there for him the first four days he went through his breakup, a week later, you fucking tried to fuck his ex. Then you were not only that, that could be for you know, maybe you were drunk one night. And he was in her DMs for like two, three weeks trying to fucking holler at us. Fat was like fat didn't want to be his friends. But either way, I'm like, that's between you and him.

SPEAKER_02

Right, you know, that's just I yeah. Uh the first time that happened to me when I was in my 20s, and everybody was fucking my old lady, like as soon as I broke up, whatever. I was like, man.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

But now at almost 50, I'm like, yeah, that's what dudes are doing. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_08

Own your own shit. Own your shit. You know what I mean? Own your shit. Don't be like, well, I'm mad because you guys went and did these shows. You went and did shows without me. You know what I mean? Like, all right, Halsey, you little fucking, you know. God, anyway. You know, it takes them six hours to eat one apple.

unknown

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02

All right, are we good?

SPEAKER_06

No, it's so unusual. No, it's so no. We want to be honest, no. We're like, I mean, we'll rock two of these out if you want. We'll do what happens. But like, yeah, definitely, definitely not good. You know what I mean? So that's what so my point is once I've talked to you twice in your face and been like, hey, you know what I mean? Are we trying to be friends? I'm not for you to let me go on like trying to be like, yeah, I'll call you tomorrow, or yeah, we'll hang out. You know what I mean? He's literally like, yeah, let's do work, let's hang out, let's do all this stuff. I'm like, yeah, yeah. Then when he steps away, he's just like, Well, never answering the call with that bitch calling. But he calls me.

SPEAKER_02

Maybe, maybe he couldn't be around you, huh? Maybe he couldn't be around you.

SPEAKER_06

Bro, would and man, it would have been great if you just told me that. Yeah, I understand. So that's my thing. So to find out, so once I find out that he's brought it around, being like, hey, so and so's talking shit on you. That's when I'm like, oh well, shit, you want to be my enemy. Like, you know what I mean? Like you need to be nothing to me to be my friend, but now you want to be an enemy. I'm not gonna be your friend when I know you know what I mean. Like, that's unfair. I want to do enemy shit. You know what I mean? If you're doing enemy shit to me, like damn, don't be right back at you. It's not enemy, it's just be real, you know what I mean? Talk to somebody.

SPEAKER_02

So be real, like uh Saw the mariner at the liquor store, bagging for your change! How you been, Izzy? I ain't seen you, man. I ain't talked to you in a minute.

unknown

Yeah, man.

SPEAKER_03

I can't complain, man.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, how's your uh what what happened? Explain to me what happened with your truck, man.

SPEAKER_03

Took it to get an oil change and uh my parking brake wouldn't go off.

SPEAKER_02

It's just on and won't go off. Yeah, and it's electric.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. So I can get towed to a shot.

SPEAKER_02

Fuck, man. Yep. And it's just that's where it sits. That's where it sits. Yo, you used to be able to climb up under a car and cut that fucking wire, man. That's just something I was saying. But if it's through a computer now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you gotta hack the fucking system. What you know about hacking the system? I hey, I'm not fighting the mood you're in. I'm just gonna every time I go, I was gonna say, Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

SPEAKER_06

This young man went to his first strip club. Like, that's so like I'm like, yeah, yeah, break break lines.

SPEAKER_02

I wasn't gonna, I just heard about that like a couple hours ago. Oh yeah. I wasn't even gonna bring that up until we had a chance to talk about it privately.

SPEAKER_06

I didn't know.

SPEAKER_08

No, just kidding, bro.

SPEAKER_03

Ain't a lot to talk about.

SPEAKER_06

Ain't a lot to talk about. Well, all right, back to it. So then, so what happens next, right?

SPEAKER_02

Which one are you? All right, got it.

SPEAKER_06

I'll calm it down a little bit.

SPEAKER_02

Oh shit. So Friday. Uh the Kava thing went crazy. Hell yeah. And uh everybody was asking for you, man. So they said, Yeah, so they said for sure. Don't worry about it. Yeah. Come back.

SPEAKER_03

Of course, man. Yeah, it was just a fucking long week, man. Went to the strip club. Shout out Riley Mason.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, Riley.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

She popped his jerk. I would have preferred some uh drugs, but uh the women weren't bad. They weren't half as bad. Uh there was this thick black chick named Vanity. Mm-hmm. Yeah, she gave me a private dance. I asked her where she was from.

SPEAKER_02

Um I know Riley told me like three times last night.

SPEAKER_08

I told him not to do two things.

SPEAKER_02

Did you ask her real name?

SPEAKER_03

This chick was feeling me. Yeah? Trip say something funny, you little bad. I love her.

SPEAKER_02

Oh my god. You know, one of the best blowjobs I ever got in my life was by a baby calf with no teeth.

SPEAKER_03

I'm sure it's better than what Tripp's getting his dick blown by. You know, I don't know why I feel better when I hate. You know what I'm saying? That's funny. I don't like motherfuckers, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, I genuinely don't. So uh, but yeah, vanity, she uh relieved me of my stress.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, yeah? In your pants?

SPEAKER_03

No, 15 minutes of uh hard grinding. Oh, good, nice. After she got done, I looked up at the ceiling and said, uh my comedy.

SPEAKER_07

You told her a joke?

SPEAKER_03

No, no, no. Oh, man, that would have been. I told her I've been uh unbenounced, I was like, oh yeah, I don't know how you do this. I do comedy. You know, I I pushed it on her and she didn't go for it. She wasn't like No, she didn't really care. Uh we said she's seen who she seen some black people in uh in um DC. She's from Baltimore, yes. And uh, you know, just traveling down to Seaford, Delaware to make some make some cash to feed her feed her uh daughter. Did she have a sexy like C-section scar or anything? She was one of the bigger gals.

SPEAKER_06

She like tattooed one of her bullet holes or anything.

SPEAKER_03

It was clear to see this chick eats and probably had kids. But uh, yeah. Good personality though, huh? Yeah, so only been stripper for a year, so I can change her.

SPEAKER_07

Um I can see her. She's been doing it a year. Does she have merch? Shit, dude. She should get some merch. Why this nigga? She should get some fucking merch for real. Shout out Trip Dewberry.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, yo, he brought you up. He was like, he said, uh, you've been sucking Joe Spain's dick for blah, blah, blah.

SPEAKER_07

What the fuck?

SPEAKER_03

Because he's a clout chaser. He probably would have talked.

SPEAKER_02

Well, good for you, man. Listen, listen, listen. Let me let you see.

SPEAKER_06

Listen, no offense, Joe, but if somebody's chasing clout and they're trying to shout you out, they fucking really haven't made it.

SPEAKER_02

Right. Listen. It's very important. It's very important. I ain't trying to be preachy or old manny or fucking whatever. It's very fucking important though that you remember fuck them.

SPEAKER_09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Concentrate on you. Don't worry about what nobody else is doing. I mean them too. If that motherfucker wants to go, if Trip wants to go out and sell t-shirts and do uh music and comedy and stand on his hands at the same time, I will help support him. Don't shit. I mean, you know what I mean? Don't don't spread hate. Nobody. Right. But just concentrate on yourself because it's the better you get, the the every time you level up, there's gonna be a certain number of people that are gonna fucking start talking shit, man.

SPEAKER_03

Well, he's gotta get out of the tutorial first.

SPEAKER_02

No, I'm talking about you get you two. So when you level up next time, you know, by level up, I'm not gonna be. You know what I mean. You feel you feel like you're at a different level. All the people that were you were a year ago are gonna start grabbing on you like people that are drowning in the ocean. They grab onto you and they try to pull themselves up by pulling you down, which is exactly why that comment hurts a little bit.

SPEAKER_03

Dude, I mean, I had a rough fucking like four days. Yeah. Like and he I'm surprised you didn't delete it. I I deleted a couple of the shit.

SPEAKER_02

I said uh I mean Facebook in general.

SPEAKER_03

I did. I'm not on there two days. Good, good. Well, not two days, but almost two days. But uh, yeah, dude. I would just like to say personally, me, you know, I have uh I'm a young man, you know, my emotions sway very easily, you know, at with the tide, you know. So fucking, if I'm mad, bam, I'm taking out on whoever, you know. Trip, I had no problems with trip. If you're gonna sell a dumb fucking shirt, dude, go ahead. I really do not care. But the shit is like uh you said I suck Joe's dick. That's kind of stupid. Uh Joe wouldn't bring me along if I weren't funny. You know what I'm saying? That's uh we're friends, man. Plus friends. We're friends.

SPEAKER_06

I never confirmed he gives a pretty shitty photo. You know what I mean? Like, like it makes no sense. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02

But no, what it is I mean, you don't I don't draw I don't wait. I want to clarify something. I don't drag you around anywhere, ever.

SPEAKER_03

You ask me if I want to do shit, I say yes, I say no. Right.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, we're going in the same direction doing the same thing, and I love you, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_06

So I think the problem is with people like that.

SPEAKER_02

When when you're extremely, that's just a dig, man. It's a troll.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, it's a troll. It's a troll. Because when he sees that he's gonna say, What's up, man? And try to say, I'll kiss him. I'll kiss him right on his mouth. Well, you might lose your teeth.

SPEAKER_06

He walked in, he walked in during, you know, my therapy night. And that was the whole problem. But he walked in, he'd already performed at Stones, great to him, like for sure. And then you would think he'd come to the second mic and be like, Hey, I'm gonna get some stage time. But he showed up at Dream Big to ask Dan if he could hang his t-shirts on the wall to sell them, you know what I mean? And then when he walked in, Isaiah asked how much they were, and he said $30. Now, if he just said free, you know what I mean, or $10, whatever. But it's just to make his doesn't matter what he does. I'm sorry. If a fireman walks in in full regalia into the club, somebody's gonna make a joke about it. Dude, how many? Yeah, right. Somebody comes in with open Mike Tour Date t-shirts, I'm gonna make it.

SPEAKER_08

It doesn't mean I hate you. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03

I was like, yo, I was like, even when we we said it right after we did our sets, because I I was shitting on people too. You know what I'm saying? I said, yo, Trip, I really don't care if you're selling shirts, man. Yeah, I think if you if you're selling merch, I could never because I don't take myself that seriously. My business isn't good, you know what I mean? That's the thing. I'm funnier than I am, better in business. It's just the bottom line.

SPEAKER_02

Dude, there's a lot of people you've seen the other way around. Better the other way around. Yeah, I mean, that's cool. Like I come into the game better. Right. They come into the game good at the social media thing or good at the promoting themselves thing, and not funny for the first fucking six years, but when it all catches up, some of them are still around and they're all right.

SPEAKER_09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Most of them are not. Most of them are not. Most of them fade away.

SPEAKER_06

I'm sure it can happen. It's just uh yo.

SPEAKER_02

It's just annoying to you see what I did to Paula the other night that night that everyone I wasn't aware. Were you there?

SPEAKER_03

No, but you told me about it.

SPEAKER_02

She can take a joke. Yeah, absolutely. We're all busting balls. Paula is a midget. She's a a little person, she's a dwarf, you know. I don't know. I love Paula, is one of my favorite people, you know. I mean, she doesn't care. I I mean, she knows I love her. But I did the when it was time for her to go instead of calling, say, Come into the stage, Paula. I gave her a come here, come here. And man, nobody knew whether to laugh or not for a second.

SPEAKER_01

And she says, Fuck you, Joe Spain, and then it was all good.

SPEAKER_02

But I'm saying, she that's she knows I'm fucking with her mic. It's a fucking open mic.

SPEAKER_06

You know what I mean? Like some of the shit, I'm trying, you know what I mean? Like, we're either doing it for the first time.

SPEAKER_03

You know what I mean? Like, so like, like I get it being nice to motherfuckers, but like, yo, if you're if you if you're hanging out in the club and you're not being funny, if you're staying in the audience, nobody will say anything to you. I swear to God.

SPEAKER_04

But if you're not funny and then you get on stage and then you're like, oh good job, and that was great, and we're all buddies, and we're all gonna make it. That's not what's gonna fucking happen.

SPEAKER_02

I think I get some props for just getting up there. No, I agree.

SPEAKER_06

But it starts if you're there. What are you doing? Like, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02

We can all just fucking do our own thing. We ain't got yeah, we can we all just get off Todd Lanier 2026.

SPEAKER_03

We have that. It's Todd's quote.

SPEAKER_02

That's uh Rodney King. No, no, no.

SPEAKER_03

It's Todd Lanier. Is it?

SPEAKER_02

What did Rodney King say?

SPEAKER_03

Dumb Doc.

SPEAKER_02

From Dumb Doc.

SPEAKER_03

Dumb Doc 77.

SPEAKER_02

Man, he was on fire last night with his flip-flops.

SPEAKER_03

Like, that's another, you know, Todd funny motherfucker, man. We got a lot of motherfuckers that have been there working out. And even just to go to the Monday night, it shows, you know what I'm saying? They've been working it out, bust it out, and they're funny. No complaints. I I I don't care. I like I like anybody that's funny. If you're not funny, I don't like it. It's not because anything you do off stage, it's genuinely because you aren't funny. Go ahead and shout out that production company when we're doing it.

SPEAKER_06

Which one? I don't remember. There's so many of them. We have an open mic that has three production companies on it. I don't know what's going on anymore. You know?

SPEAKER_02

Focus all focus all comedy. Big swings. Hey man, did you see oh, so the roast battles tomorrow? All right, can I get back to what I want to get to? Are we done for a minute?

SPEAKER_06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

We can sidetrack whenever you want. I'll just I gotta take control at some point.

SPEAKER_06

I told you that. I told I can I told you, I prepared you for what I was, you know.

SPEAKER_02

Did you know, speaking of bugs, ants, roaches? Yeah, did you know this is a true fact. If you took all the people on the planet, all of them, seven point whatever billion people, and you put them on a scale and you weighed them. Okay. And if you took all the bugs on the planet together and put them on a scale, there's seven times more biomass of bugs than there is people. And a person weighs like 200 pounds, and a bug, what's a bug weigh?

SPEAKER_04

Not 200 pounds. Quick maths. Two plus two is four quick maths.

SPEAKER_02

Remember what that's from?

SPEAKER_09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Quick maths. Back in the day with mine. You don't even remember that.

SPEAKER_02

You know that's on six seconds. Two plus two is four. Minus three is one. I think.

SPEAKER_03

What's the first word? I know the last word was first word. Oh plus two is four, minus one is three, quick maths.

SPEAKER_02

Quick knives. Yeah. He'll play it for you when you guys are on the way home. Anyway, ain't that fucking crazy? You know, um, so ticks. Did you hear about the new tick disease? No. What did you hear about it? Oh man, it might not really affect you.

SPEAKER_06

What are these water ticks or something?

SPEAKER_03

Too much oil on my skin, they can't bite me.

SPEAKER_06

What's going on? It's like the thing with lice.

SPEAKER_02

These weird chest pains, man.

SPEAKER_06

It's like the thing with lice. Like, I just remember that in middle school. It was always weird to me that like all like ever since uh we were all little, it was supposed to be like, you know, Jesus loves little children, and like we're all we're all integrated, like segregation is bad. And then they went to check us for lice, and they were like, all the white kids over here, all the black kids over here. And I remember being like, what is happening?

SPEAKER_02

Is that real? Yeah, because I don't remember.

SPEAKER_06

They're a lot easier to see like that. The black line moves way faster than the white line.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, really?

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, because in middle school you got every little fucking blonde-haired white girl, long ass hair, and then you know what I mean? And they're white and you're looking for it on the wall.

SPEAKER_02

White skeleton. Yeah, really like this.

SPEAKER_03

If you're if you're white, they pull out the popsicle sticks.

SPEAKER_02

No shit.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, they made us turn our heads and cough. I'm like, why are you cupping my balls to like lice? You know what I mean? There was a lot of don't ask, don't tell at that school.

SPEAKER_02

They gave me my lice test with a finger up your ass.

SPEAKER_06

It's gonna be a long tip in New York for you tomorrow. Boy.

SPEAKER_02

What just do for lice?

SPEAKER_06

That's because you check the box. You know what I mean? You're like, yeah, I want that. Is it free? Does my insurance cover that?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I'll take the so this tick, if it bites you, it gives you this um this allergy in your body. You can't eat red meat for the rest of your life.

SPEAKER_06

Oh, they've had this. This has been a lone, no, do you know this?

SPEAKER_02

Lone Star Tick, I think it's called.

SPEAKER_05

You know, I swear this is a hundred my uh my aunt, my aunt, uh, I thought I thought my dead aunt.

SPEAKER_06

Dead ant. I thought my family was fucking with me. It's not a joke, I'm being serious. She has this. That's why she looked up um uh what's the one recently? Like, like because she gets tired of eating the same amount of early shit.

SPEAKER_02

She can't even eat all beef hot dogs.

SPEAKER_06

Uh-oh. They were looking into what was it? It's not elf, it's something like uh there was some kind of like quote unquote cheat code. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02

But it's like whatever it is, it's like I think she should just get a bunch of them ticks and eat them and make her body oblivious to it.

SPEAKER_03

Terrier want to start eating tick. Uh tick, dude. I don't like the way you say it.

SPEAKER_07

T I see. Oi! Oi! Oi!

SPEAKER_02

Alright. Um, my boy Donnie. So this is a tick bike. I'm gonna cut right to the end. A tick bike. Here's how it starts. My buddy's wife calls me and says, Joe, are you and Donnie planning to build something in our yard? And I was like, and it was like eight o'clock in a summer night, so it was still light, but it was getting, you know, time to sit down. I was like, no, what are you talking about? This motherfucker was out in his yard with a level, just kind of randomly like eyeballing shit and measuring shit and fucking whatever. He ended up getting rushed through the hospital.

SPEAKER_05

Lyme disease.

SPEAKER_02

No, it was uh uricula. Uh it made his brain swell and he went crazy. He almost died. I was gonna say changed his whole personality and everything. They had to drill a hole in his head and put this valve in his head to release the pressure and they adjusted it. I've been watching House. Yeah? Yeah. They had uricula on there? Uh maybe. Did he save him?

SPEAKER_03

I'm a doctor now. Oh yeah? I've been on drugs, my leg hurts. There's Jackie every no, no, no. I said house. I walk with a cane, not a fat ass, and a dumb wall.

SPEAKER_02

House got a couple pretty ladies on it. Which one you like the best? The blonde hair one or the dark hair one? Is you you know like cuddy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Cuddy.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. You like the Jew broads, man.

SPEAKER_03

Dude, I could tell there was something about her. Yeah. Yep, those tits. Yep, those tits.

SPEAKER_02

You know who we're talking about?

unknown

Nope. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Wait, wait, you said cuddy. Yeah. Cuddy.

SPEAKER_02

You don't know house?

SPEAKER_03

No, I don't know. The show house. When you say cutty, I think it was. Cuddy can't hang. I think it's a lot. Yeah. I watched The Wire with three white friends. Yeah, because it's stupid.

SPEAKER_02

Contrary to popular belief, your dick doesn't taste that bad. Thanks. You know we 69.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, yeah, I forgot. Yeah. I've been eating Joe's dick ever since.

SPEAKER_02

I don't remember what this one does. Oh, that's for the big swings. Got my sound effects mixed up. All right. This is for you.

SPEAKER_03

I downloaded Fortnite last night.

SPEAKER_02

You gonna play Fortnite with me too? Oh man, I'm in love. We're getting married for sure now. I was gonna do the same thing.

SPEAKER_06

What if we can borrow his Tesla to ride off him? He's definitely gonna roast your dumbass now. I can't off for shit. You know. No, now that he's got this information, he's instantly gonna become funny and start writing some of the things. Oh, it's gonna be great. My favorite watching.

SPEAKER_02

All right, so uh Riley stepped it up with fucking bust it on people, man. She's been two weeks in a row. Like she was a little drunk last night, but she's she's always been good at roasting.

SPEAKER_06

She's always been good at roasting. Yeah, man.

SPEAKER_02

So uh the new Fortnite skins. Danny Phantom. You know who that is?

SPEAKER_03

Danny Fanton.

SPEAKER_02

You know who that is?

SPEAKER_03

He's too old.

SPEAKER_02

He's a crazy uh uh cartoon.

SPEAKER_03

He's a he's a ghost, he's a boy, he's a half- Oh, I do know that!

SPEAKER_02

I remember that song. Got it. He's Danny Fanton. Yeah. My daughter used to watch that shit. His mind hot. In Danny Phantom? Yes. Really?

SPEAKER_03

The the Danny's girlfriend jerked off to her.

SPEAKER_02

I think the Jessica Rabbit. I busted some off with Jessica Rabbit. You ever jerked off to a cartoon?

SPEAKER_06

Yeah. Her specifically.

SPEAKER_02

Smurf, the girl Smurf.

SPEAKER_03

Smurf at? Have you ever heard the conspiracy theory? I never went for blue leg. I don't find that. No. I only know about cartoon conspiracies. Uh why do you think there's only one woman?

SPEAKER_02

Papa Smurf made all the other Smurfs. So they're Mormons.

SPEAKER_06

Yes. No, they're not just Mormons. There's more to that conspiracy if you think about it. No, that's it. No, they're not. No, there's so much more. Where are the females?

SPEAKER_02

They're reverse Mormons.

SPEAKER_06

Where are the seaman? Huh? Only Smurfette.

SPEAKER_02

There's only Smurfett.

SPEAKER_06

But she she and Papa Smurf created all the other Smurfs? Yes, all male Smurfs. All male. How did they make it all male? You can't do that. So there would have to be some female magic.

SPEAKER_02

They throw them off the cliff.

SPEAKER_06

Thank you. That's all I'm saying. There's the conspiracy.

SPEAKER_02

300.

SPEAKER_06

Yep. Right back to Smurf. Yeah, this is Sparta. This is Smurfville or whatever it's.

SPEAKER_02

What it wasn't called, man. What? It's where the Smurfs were. God damn it.

SPEAKER_03

Uh Smurfland or something. Was it called Fraggle Rock?

SPEAKER_06

Weren't they down in Fraggle Rock? Down in Fragle Rock.

SPEAKER_02

I love that shit.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, they too. I wish they'd redo that. Remake that. What?

SPEAKER_02

Fraggle Rock. What's that? I don't think you can remake that though. I don't know.

SPEAKER_06

They'll remake anything. Fraggle.

SPEAKER_02

Fraggle Rock is like muck.

SPEAKER_06

There's people that will remake memes into jokes and bits on stage. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03

You're really attacking people's likelihood now. What? About the memes. Yeah, dude. How do you think they'll remain funny if they don't r redo other people's memes? I don't know, man. I just did like two of them on the pod. Got no laughs. Find out. Someone's gonna listen back and be like, I heard that. Nope. Nope. I won't say this. That's not a good thing.

SPEAKER_02

Nah, it's you know, the reason I picked this is because as long as we talked over it, it's fine anyway. And it's kids bop, so they're already ripping somebody else over there. Yeah, man.

SPEAKER_09

Yeah, baby.

SPEAKER_07

Because I'm getting that's fucking messed shit.

SPEAKER_02

Overwatch. You know what that is?

SPEAKER_03

No, I seen them skins in there. I remember the meme I want to be chaser. I want to be. Is it a video game? Yeah, it's a video game. It's like uh I don't know. It's like uh they have uh fucking Overwatch mode in Fortnite. Stupid.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. I played Star Wars mode the other day in Fortnite. Did you really? It was alright for a couple minutes. It was fun.

SPEAKER_03

I just like fucking battle royale. I just like shooting us.

SPEAKER_02

I like OG too.

SPEAKER_03

I do OG, no build.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, me too. Um I don't know how to say this one. Did you get your golden eye on back in the day? Golden Eye? I did like that game. Yeah, that was a good game. What's that say?

SPEAKER_03

No. Rapper. Is he? I assume.

SPEAKER_02

I don't know. I don't know. You know what that says? Est the kid? Man, I'm so old. I thought you would know. No, I don't got it. He left me hanging on that. I think he's a rapper. Phantom Forces, Star Wars.

SPEAKER_03

I have the uh Luke Skywalker skin. That's old though.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. They got two different ones, right? I don't want them. I think one of them looks like more cartoony and one of them looks more realer.

SPEAKER_03

I have the cartoony one.

SPEAKER_02

Um this one says Grant's Locker. He's some my son told me he's an influencer. He got his own skins.

SPEAKER_03

Probably. I don't those motherfuckers don't influence me.

SPEAKER_02

Grant's G-R-X-N-T. You know who that is?

SPEAKER_03

No, who are these people you played fucking Fortnite now? These are skins. Uh creators are getting you know Big Red? Uh Alex Donnerty or something. You never heard him? There's a big ginger nigga who got to dance out right now, and he's hot. He might be on Fortnite soon.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, his dance might. Oh shit. They're gonna have one of them things where they he has a concert in Fortnite.

SPEAKER_03

No, no, no, no. This nigga ain't that popular. It's not even his song. He just dances to it. He wanted to go on tour with Don Tolliver, the dude who made the song, just to do his like five-second dance. He was like, Yeah, man, me and Don should go on tour, man. Swite dude, yeah. That's essentially what comedy is now. Jokey, bring me on tour so I can gyrate behind you while you're on stage.

SPEAKER_02

That would be awesome. A couple singing girls, Zach eating a pizza. That makes me happy. That made me happy.

SPEAKER_05

I should have had an examined taco.

SPEAKER_02

Alright, sports real quick. You guys, you don't want do you watch hockey? I love playoff hockey. I think that's my favorite playoffs. Is there's they come them guys try to fucking kill each other for fucking 60 minutes, man. Or 20, 40, 60 minutes.

SPEAKER_06

I think it breaks in between the three periods, but yeah, 20, 20, 20.

SPEAKER_02

Buffalo lost, man. I I root against I'm a caps fan. I'm a caps fan, yeah. I like the Capitals, but I root against any Canadian team.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah. I like that about you. Yeah. I'm not big on French people either.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, especially that half the country. Did you see Wemby went off last night?

SPEAKER_03

I heard. I've seen a bunch of Wemby edits.

SPEAKER_02

Forty one points.

SPEAKER_03

That's what double overtime.

SPEAKER_02

24 24 rebounds.

SPEAKER_06

I mean, that's impressive. 41 points is I mean, come on. That's he's 7'5. Yeah. Kobe dropped 60 when he was like eight years old. I mean, come on.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, you're not wrong. But he ended up under a helicopter. Nah.

SPEAKER_03

He didn't put up shit against that helly.

SPEAKER_02

Did y'all see um Gina Carano, Ronda Rousey fight?

SPEAKER_03

No.

SPEAKER_04

They did already.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, it was Saturday. Yo, so the whole card, it was um the big dude, Francis Ngano. Yeah. You know what I'm talking about? He knocked the daylights out of this dude, Jeremy Lynn's. It wasn't even a fight. Um Nick Diaz got the face beat off of him by Mike Perry. No. Um, it was all like people that are past their prime. You know what I'm saying? Rhonda Rousey, it took her 17 seconds. And then that's because five of it was getting over there to her. You know what I'm saying? She basically walked up to her, threw her down, arm barred her, game over. Every fight ended in the first round, except Mike Perry, Nick Diaz, they stopped in the second round.

SPEAKER_06

They stopped it? Yeah, because the ref stopped it.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, because Nick Diaz, it looked like you took a sword to his head.

SPEAKER_06

They both they they because they're so both seminars. They have so much scar tissue that they bleed easy.

SPEAKER_02

Exactly right. And he cut him probably three or four inches in his scalp, and it was running down into his eye, and all this was chewed up because, like you said, because of scar tissue. Dude, it looked like he got hit by a bus. But he was still good, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, one of them. I don't remember seeing his brother before. They've taken some beating. Like, they won some matches, and it's been like, You sure you won?

SPEAKER_02

Like, yeah, right, right. They gave uh Francis Ngano the fight of the night. They gave him a hundred thousand dollars, and he gave it to the dude that he knocked his head off.

SPEAKER_05

Really? That's cool, just because he's like a under, like a so I that's what I was thinking.

SPEAKER_02

I was like, man, that was fucking cool with him, man. He just gave he was like, fuck it.

SPEAKER_03

He was like, I just wanted to knock you the fuck out.

SPEAKER_02

That he he he kept saying he was the um the fight of the night because he took, you know what I mean? I know how hard I hit, and he took, you know, blah blah blah. He was real respectful about it, but then I saw what they got paid. Francis and Gano got like two point something million dollars and he got like a hundred thousand.

SPEAKER_06

Doubled his salary is all he did. He probably fucked the guy up too because he's like, God damn it, now I'm in a higher tax bracket, they're gonna take even more. Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_07

He probably just like I was gonna walk with 90, now I'm walking with 85.

SPEAKER_04

You fucking Francis and Ghana.

SPEAKER_03

Nigga probably can't even talk.

SPEAKER_02

Man, I would not want to get hit by that dude. Nah.

SPEAKER_03

He said he gets like he hits as hard as like a fucking Mustang going like max feed or something. Yeah, that's what they said.

SPEAKER_02

Something saying, he got ham can hands. You know, they found him working in a salt mine in Africa in Cameroon. What?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, stand next to the guy holding the blood diamond.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, he was shoveling salt all day when he was teenage.

SPEAKER_06

Smarter God. I bet he was just punching the wall. He actually shoveling.

SPEAKER_02

When he was young, he wasn't as yeah, you know what I mean, but he was still pure, man.

SPEAKER_06

Well, that's like who was the other guy? Kimbo's like, remember when Kimbo first came out? I remember watching those and I was like, I don't think you could pay me. On the UFC or in the backyard? Backyard. Yeah. I don't like I was like, you see, like the one guy, his eyeball was hanging out by the end of it and shit. That's where it's like if somebody was like, yeah, 50,000, you gotta take one punch. I'm like, I don't know that I would, because that could change your whole life, like change your whole outlook on things. Not even you might be in medical, you might wake up, you just end up, you're just pissing your stands, and then you're just shitting in a chair.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah, maybe drooling.

SPEAKER_06

There goes Joe, drooling and shitting again. Somebody go roll him, roll him to the good, roll him down with put him in a corner.

SPEAKER_03

Somebody go roll Joe down with. Put him in a corner and put a broom behind his wheels.

SPEAKER_02

Somebody empty that pan. All right, you ready for headlines?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, man.

SPEAKER_02

All right. What happened? A girl spent 16 years. You ready? I'm sorry. I didn't realize you dropped your cry. A girl spent sixteen years. Forced servitude. How much did her neighbors know?

SPEAKER_03

She was forced to fuck.

SPEAKER_02

It says forced servitude.

SPEAKER_03

For how long? Sixteen years. I've had like five neighbors and never talked to one. I talked to one because I knew them, but other never fucking.

SPEAKER_02

So you think they all the hook?

SPEAKER_03

I feel like they wouldn't know the name. Yeah, the neighbors. What the fuck are they supposed to do?

SPEAKER_02

What is servitude?

SPEAKER_06

I I assume like she's doing me. Man, she could be washing dishes. Like, that's my thing. It's like really because she could just look like a 50s wife. You know what I mean? If anything, it's not that big a deal. They'd be like, there's Ken and Carol again. Yo, these motherfuckers had a kid just walking in the house making Carol bring all the groceries in by herself.

SPEAKER_02

Like, these motherfuckers had a kid and made it a slave.

SPEAKER_07

That's the more I was gonna say 16 years? When how old was she when she started?

SPEAKER_02

I don't know, man. It said uh she spent 16 years in forced servitude. How much did her neighbors know?

SPEAKER_06

I think they should have known if she was 12 and he was 25, then somebody should have been like, I don't know what's going on in my neighbor's house, man. Dude, I would never know. Like, I wouldn't pay attention. I've lived next to people and never known, like, until I see them, I'm like, oh shit.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, when'd you move in?

SPEAKER_06

They wear Spanish. They wear Spanish. They're gonna think it's on the neighboring.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I don't think it's on the neighbor either.

SPEAKER_06

Unless, unless, oh yeah, if they're like, hey, we hear scream, you know, you're like, baby, turn the TV up. He's beating Ken's beating the shit out of Carol again. I told that bitch she should have brought the groceries in quicker. I warned her when I was out there cutting the grass.

SPEAKER_02

Build a fence, I can see that skinny kid in the basement again.

SPEAKER_03

I heard they got soy milk instead of 2%. Who would have thought? We've knocked that bitch's block off. Soy. You know, the black people, they're watching. They the black, their black neighbors, they knew what was going on. Yeah. For sure. Black people were nosy as shit.

SPEAKER_02

I don't know, man. I don't know. Old white people nosy as shit, too.

SPEAKER_03

I mean, but like yeah, but old white people will call the police. Have you ever seen trapped in the closet?

SPEAKER_02

No, I thought that was the R. Kelly song.

SPEAKER_04

See the nosy neighbor. Is that real?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Rosie came over uh because she heard gunshots and she was like, Randall, I gotta do something. So she ran over there with a spatula in her hand. Is that Tyler Perry? No, it was uh Kendrick Lamar. Who'd you say the first time?

SPEAKER_02

Uh the guy who peed on people, R. Kelly.

SPEAKER_03

Same shit, different color. You know what I mean? Black.

SPEAKER_02

R. Kelly did that crazy thing. Yeah, yeah, that's what I thought you were talking about.

SPEAKER_03

That's where it's from.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, cool. Perfect. All right, next headline. I'm a surgeon and a gut health expert. Not me. That's what the article said. Okay. I'm a surgeon and a gut health expert. Number one magical food for longer life. What do you think it is?

SPEAKER_03

Something that no one eats, I'm sure. Like fucking bacon.

SPEAKER_02

That's a good guess. I wish it was bacon. Oh, wait, you said a frozen bacon? No, no, no, no. Food. Not a fruit. Food. And it doesn't have just something you ingest.

SPEAKER_03

Bananas. Oh, that's a good one.

SPEAKER_02

I like bananas. You like bananas?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, what I'm trying to think for.

SPEAKER_02

Appos and bananos. Blueberries? Ooh, that's a good one. I heard blueberries can be toxic though if you eat too many of them.

SPEAKER_06

You're thinking of the Willy Wonka thing. They got a juicer, you got a roller to juicer.

SPEAKER_02

So what is shit?

SPEAKER_06

Um, the number one Who did you guess by yourself? Or did you guess by yourself?

SPEAKER_02

I guessed bacon. No.

SPEAKER_06

I thought it was like lean fish or I thought it would be something stupid that nobody would have, you know, if it was like it's fucking coffee or tea.

SPEAKER_02

Number one. And they did it by all the centurions, you know, the people that live 100 years or longer. They asked all them. And that's how they got their data. So they said coffee or tea. Kombucha was on there. Oh god.

SPEAKER_06

Me too. I hate when hippies try to sell anything that isn't drugs.

SPEAKER_02

Um I can't remember what else was on there, but coffee or tea was number one. So yeah, I even got an answer for you on that one, so you didn't have to wonder. Okay, you ready for this one? This one's for you, Zach. Oh, actually, let me ask Izzy first. I bet how pumper nickel bagels became an endangered species.

SPEAKER_03

I didn't know pumper nickel was alive.

SPEAKER_02

Do you know what pumpernickel is?

SPEAKER_03

Pumper nickel?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, pumpernickel.

SPEAKER_03

Nickel.

SPEAKER_02

Nickel.

SPEAKER_03

I like that. Uh I don't know. Is it like it's not that bread that's alive? What is that? Sourdough?

SPEAKER_02

I love that.

SPEAKER_03

I never had it. Sourdough's so good. Yeah, no. And you said pumper nickel does what?

SPEAKER_02

It says how pumpernickel bagels became an endangered species.

SPEAKER_03

Because the Jews stopped eating them.

SPEAKER_02

Mmm. Good guess. Good guess.

SPEAKER_00

What do you think, Zach?

SPEAKER_03

Change to multi-grain. Ooh. They need everything they can get.

SPEAKER_06

I'm just waiting at Isaiah to find out that uh it is uh a darker bread. Somebody said a black bread.

SPEAKER_02

That's what I was gonna say. Racist.

SPEAKER_06

I don't know why I would be running out though. Are they they're not the same thing that they make Melba rounds out of?

SPEAKER_02

They said people don't eat them no more. What? People don't ask for the pumper knuckle bagels.

SPEAKER_03

Keep that shit alive. Huh? You're such a culture guy when it comes to food.

SPEAKER_02

Do you like pumper knuckle? Do you know what it is? It's brown, like brown bread. White. White. Okay. I think I know where they have it. They might have it at Texas Roadhouse. It might be one of them. They gave you that whole loaf. Yes.

SPEAKER_03

No, no, no, no, no. You're not talking about Texas Roadhouse, then. That's uh you're thinking of fucking Outback Steakhouse or something. Is it Outback? I think it has it. Yeah. Yeah, but you're not.

SPEAKER_02

The dark one that's in there is bumper knuckle.

SPEAKER_03

That's just disgusting, though. Yeah. The bread's disgusting. The food's disgusting. You don't like Outback? They got like sand on the floor or something. There's peanuts on the floor or something. No.

SPEAKER_04

You're in the Outback, mate.

SPEAKER_03

You're thinking of the better place, the real Texas cuisine of Texas Roadhouse. Outback steakhouse is a fake Aussie. Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, Oi, Oi, Oi! Yeah. Some fake fucking.

SPEAKER_02

I don't know about Texas. I don't know about um Outback. I don't know if I've ever been to an Outback.

SPEAKER_03

I got uh when I worked at Dairy Queen, for your years of service, they would give you uh a $50 all you can eat well $50 outback steakhouse get.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, were they owned by the same people or something?

SPEAKER_03

No.

SPEAKER_02

No?

SPEAKER_03

I don't think so. Well why wouldn't they just give you a fucking like a dairy queen one?

SPEAKER_02

Dairy Queen one.

SPEAKER_03

Why would Dairy Queen Because we were stealing that shit? Because you eat it anyway.

SPEAKER_02

Alright. Right for this one? This one's a thinker.

SPEAKER_05

Oh, alright.

SPEAKER_02

We may finally know why dinosaurs like the T Rex developed arms.

SPEAKER_03

Tiny t-shirts. What did he say?

SPEAKER_06

Uh 60 million. Yeah, they did. They they found some bones.

SPEAKER_02

I think it's signature off.

SPEAKER_03

Uh that's your yeah, that would be my first one.

SPEAKER_02

Can you imagine trying to suck your own dick with all them teeth?

SPEAKER_03

But T-Rexes didn't grow arms. Is that what they're saying?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, they started having them little ones. That's what Michelle always says because she got little teeny arms. She always says she's T-Rex.

SPEAKER_06

Maybe when they get down in a doggy position, they put like a lot of their species died because of the bigger.

SPEAKER_02

How would T-Rexes fuck?

SPEAKER_06

I don't think they did. I've never seen any footage of any dinosaurs fucking, so I've always wondered that. What do you think? Huh?

SPEAKER_02

I think it couldn't go missionary, right? Or maybe you could.

SPEAKER_03

I think they laid eggs like other mammals do.

SPEAKER_02

So they still had to fuck.

SPEAKER_03

No, no, no.

SPEAKER_06

Like a fish. Yeah, I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_02

Like a fish.

SPEAKER_06

Maybe they laid their eggs in the water. I don't know. That's what they did. That's a good thing. Drop it.

SPEAKER_02

On uh Jurassic Park, they laid eggs in a nest like a chicken, like a turkey.

SPEAKER_03

No sex. Chickens don't have sex. Yeah, no, they don't.

SPEAKER_02

They do when I'm in their yard.

SPEAKER_03

I can imagine a chicken blowing up with a sticky dick up.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, my brother used to say that all the time. Because I killed this chicken one time by accident with a samurai sword. And my brother was going to tell on me. So I just told my mom that I killed a chicken for dinner. So I had to gut it and everything. So I cut the chicken's head off and I reached my hand in like this, and then I went up the chicken's other side and pulled everything out both sides. You know what I'm saying? Feathered it and everything. And he for years and years and years he called me a chicken fucker because I went like, you know, I was.

SPEAKER_04

You raped a chicken.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

He called you a chicken fucker because you raped the chicken.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah, but the chicken was dead.

SPEAKER_06

It was dead. It doesn't get a gay necromancy.

SPEAKER_08

No, at that part it was. And it was my finger.

SPEAKER_06

It wasn't my dick. Yeah, it becomes food, not an animal. You're allowed to fuck food. They made a whole movie about it. American pie. Like get some fucking culture. Fucking young bastard.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, you did fuck a pie on the counter.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, because it was food. That's what I'm saying. You fucked the chicken. Joe, if you want to fuck a chicken carcass, you fuck a chicken carcass. It's twenty.

SPEAKER_02

It was still warm. I didn't really stick my dick in it, though, I promise. But he said I did. I didn't. No, we it probably wouldn't make my dick smell weird now.

SPEAKER_06

I used to go to the wheel. No, I went. Oh yeah, wrist. Wrist. You gotta get the giblets out. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02

Man, they're so good, too. I love the stuff inside a chicken. The liver, the gizzard, the heart, all of it, man. I love it. Oh, I love it. They're all different. Little bit, textures are a little bit different. You know what I mean? Like when you get a piece of fried chicken, like down south, and they go like this, whack, whack, and they leave everything in it and they fry. I love digging it out of the back of the rib cage.

SPEAKER_03

God damn. You like it? I like uh I like jerk chicken. That's probably my favorite type of chicken. Like real jerk chicken, like chopped up with a dirty knife. Yeah, with the ketchup. A knife uh with ketchup.

SPEAKER_02

You don't you don't do ketchup?

SPEAKER_03

Oh, jerk chicken?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

What are you talking about?

SPEAKER_02

Oh man. You take the in Jamaica, they take the jerk chicken.

SPEAKER_03

And give you ketchup, but it's not like Heinz. Dude, they're gonna cut you up and throw you on the grill. No, they do it. I'm telling you.

SPEAKER_02

Their ketchup is made out of real sugar, so it's like pink. It's weird. It's it's good, but it's weird. So they take the jerk chicken and they put um down on like a tabletop, and they take that cleaver and go, why, why, why, why it all up, man? You know, four or five times across the the quarter, and then they take ketchup, which is this pinky type, and they go across it, and then they take veg and put a little bit of veg on it, and then they take a piece of bread, two pieces of white bread, and shove it across the counter. It's good. It's good, but I don't like that ketchup. Like here, I've tried to do it here, it ain't the same. I don't know why.

SPEAKER_06

It's like when I went to Cancun, uh, there was a dude on the side of the road that would cook like these, like with the chicken, you would get these like onions. And I've tried to grill it, like, I'm like, he must have cooked these things for 14 hours or something. Because I've tried to replic replicate it like every way, like, because it was in aluminum foil and all this stuff, and like, but all I know is when he first handed it to me, I'm like, who the fuck's gonna eat a whole onion? And then like an hour later, I'm like, yeah, that onion, I wish there was more of that onion. I'm like, that fucking shit was delicious.

SPEAKER_03

Niggas are redoing that now, and they're doing like the seafood boil, but like to onions.

SPEAKER_05

What?

SPEAKER_03

It's not good. Like, it's only women with like high cholesterol and big hands. Speaking your language. I mean what's her name? Vanity?

SPEAKER_06

I bet Vanity with that guy. So I bet Vanity with that. We'll talk about my fucking boot. My bad. My bad. My bad. Easy easy.

SPEAKER_03

Shout out Vanity.

SPEAKER_06

Shout out Vanity Productions. She got caught up. Shout out Vanity Productions.

SPEAKER_02

Did you guys see the new sea creature speaking of vanity?

SPEAKER_06

It's like all the paying customers are looking.

SPEAKER_02

You see the new sea creature they found? All right. You know what a toad is? Like, not a toad, like a hop toad, like a toad that you catch in the Chesapeake Bay, toad fish.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, like almost like an oyster cracker, what you would call it.

SPEAKER_02

I don't know what an oyster cracker is. An oyster cracker is a little crackers that you put in an oyster stew.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, but there's all right go on, go on. You know what I'm talking about? I know exactly. It looks like this. Almost like a monk fish.

SPEAKER_02

In the face. Yes. Almost like a monk. What has that kind of face, and then it has like a little black body with these little flippers that stick out like this, and then instead of having a tail with a fish tail on it, it turns into almost like a like an eel. Yeah, but with fin on the top and fin on the bottom. They just found it like in the last six months, and now they've released a picture of it. It's black, and in the middle, it's uh see-through. It's like, yeah. It's fucking crazy, man. It looks like a goddamn alien. Question is, would you eat it?

unknown

No.

SPEAKER_06

I wouldn't be the first. I'll tell you what. I definitely wouldn't be the first.

SPEAKER_03

Would you be the strong third?

SPEAKER_07

Depending on what happens to the first two. If the first two still standing, yeah. Yeah, I'd probably go third.

SPEAKER_02

What if it's like a great experience and there's only enough to have one serving and it's you know, you could trip balls and like know the future shit.

SPEAKER_06

In this country, yeah, you think it would make its way down to anywhere close to us?

SPEAKER_02

Like they've never seen none.

SPEAKER_06

They would, whatever new island they're on, like that's my thing. Is everybody keeps talking about this?

SPEAKER_07

They're like, I've seen an island, I've seen an island of this. And I'm like, Oh yeah, where do you think they are now? Like, no, why is nobody like shouldn't somebody be looking into that? Like, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02

It's inside a mountain.

SPEAKER_06

There were like 1200 people that got arrested on the island. You know what I mean? So, like, I bet they're congregating somewhere else. Like, I don't think anybody just goes, hey, we should stop fucking and sacrificing kids. You know what I mean? Yeah. Uh for till till the heat dies down. You know what I mean? Like, I don't think that's how that happens.

SPEAKER_03

I heard they're hiding in Jewish delis in the pumpernickel.

SPEAKER_02

They're they're they're eating all the holes out of the middle of the bagel.

SPEAKER_06

All the kids are starving for pumpernickel bagels. I'm trying to run it out.

SPEAKER_02

All right. This is a good this is I always do one every week that's got animals because I like animals. Me too. All right. I like turtles. The seven, what do you think? You know what a mammal is, right? Yep.

SPEAKER_03

Warm-blooded creature.

unknown

See?

SPEAKER_02

Big brain one out of there.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Seven deadliest mammals.

SPEAKER_06

Uh Zach. In no particular order? Is this in any particular order?

SPEAKER_02

No, no.

SPEAKER_06

Seven deadliest mammals. Uh bear.

SPEAKER_02

Polar bear's number one.

SPEAKER_06

Okay, polar bear. Uh, hold on.

SPEAKER_02

Did you ever see that show where they put that fucking guy inside that's that clear to get in? And the polar bear was trying to eat that motherfucker. Yeah. That was scary as shit. Yeah. Alright, go ahead. Uh elephant. Yep. A shark. That's a good one. Uh shark. Why has the shark's not on here?

SPEAKER_06

Because shark's not a fucking mammal. You're right. They don't laugh. Sharks lay eggs. Thanks. They do lay eggs. They do, they really. They give a live birth.

SPEAKER_02

Out of their mouth.

SPEAKER_06

They do a C section. In the C. It's a C section. All right, let me just.

SPEAKER_02

Their teeth turn inside out and the babies flush.

SPEAKER_06

Oh, oh, oh, oh. I'm a rhino. No, no, hippopotamus.

SPEAKER_02

You know what? I thought that would be on there too. It's not? No.

SPEAKER_06

Then I challenge that person to go fuck with the hippopotamus.

SPEAKER_02

Looking at the list, I think it's like the things that fuck people up the most. The most like in India.

SPEAKER_06

Not people. No, no, no. Oh, wait a minute. Oh, this is how many people it kills.

SPEAKER_02

Right. Or memes or fucks up or has a has a fight. You know what I mean? People fights.

SPEAKER_06

Oh, there's gotta be tiger. Tiger has to be on there.

SPEAKER_02

Nope. Because the people don't people and tigers don't mingle that much. Just in India. Wait, are these deaths though? Are these deaths or like? Like one is a domestic dog. You get what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_05

Gotcha.

SPEAKER_02

And I'm gonna tell you another one because it's dumb that it's on there. Sloth bear. I don't even know what a fucking sloth bear is.

SPEAKER_06

A sloth?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, sloth bear. I think people think it's a sloth and they get too close and then get bit because it's actually a bear. It's one of them two.

SPEAKER_06

That is I like nature. I like when nature does shit like airs that get smaller ashes. I like when nature does shit like that. I wish more animals had that. Like, you ever seen the angulfish? Like they bait a fish. I would love to see a bear that just has like a you know what I mean? Like it's a yogi with a picnic basket and lower minute and just kill that motherfucker. You know what I mean? Like, I would love to see that. That would be awesome. Alley cat started developing that. They'd have a little piece of drug. Like he just got I would I would watch trembling people for hours. If we got to watch tremendous people getting tricked by the animals, you know what I mean? That would be awesome.

SPEAKER_02

Domestic cat's actually on there.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, now I get the list. The cat will fuck you up. I don't understand the list. Dude, one time my wife I'm so confused by this list, Jeff.

SPEAKER_02

Me and my wife were having sex. And all of a sudden, something happened, and she got up to run to the bathroom, and she she was buck ass naked, and she stepped on the cat.

SPEAKER_09

By accident, right?

SPEAKER_02

And the cat fucking and she fell. And when she fell, she kind of like fell onto the cat. So the cat, like I guess, thought she was attacking her. So then it was on like popcorn, ears back, cat was like swoked up like a bop pop pop, and then ran to the other side of her bop pop. And the whole time Michelle's going, and the sound is making the cat not quit. You know what I mean? So I'm like, dude, it was fucking crazy.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

She's like, so she had it bit her, it scratched her. Little teeny cat man fucked her up. And I picked it up by its head, and I was like, say the word, I'll kill it. But it lived a couple more weeks.

SPEAKER_06

I'd say you ever had like a clap cat like when it latches on, like with all things. Oh yeah. I'm saying, and it's not not that you can't pull it off, but it's like you just so scary to me to think like if you got if like when people are like, I'd fuck up a not that everybody's like I'll fuck up a tiger, but like, you'd have zero chance. Like zero. So like the way a cat, you're like, ah, like zero.

SPEAKER_02

Dude, if a four-pound house cat wants to fuck you up, yeah, it could it can at least leave some things. It's gonna hurt, you know what I mean? A 15-pound bobcat or something is gonna mangle you, dude.

SPEAKER_03

That guy take away Garfield's lasagna. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Oh shit. Oh you got any shows coming up, man? I ain't got no more headlines.

SPEAKER_06

Tomorrow, uh Friday, we're doing a little fundraising thing.

SPEAKER_02

Well, don't skip over tomorrow. Oh. Oh, never mind. It won't be out. It'll be out Thursday. But good luck at the verse battle league.

SPEAKER_06

Oh, yeah, shit. Yeah. I don't know how, but it's a cool uh Greg Geraldo Jr.'s on it.

SPEAKER_05

Um uh we say Pierce is going against uh Jay Simpson. Um the headlines uh Chris uh it's Chris Cupo and uh damn I am blanking on her name too, which is also like yeah, it's uh from before.

SPEAKER_02

Huh? From other years of first battle league? Yeah, and just in general, it's it's are they all the same people and you guys are just kind of get in with the people? You don't know.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, it seems to me like yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

So you're just gonna be able to keep doing it over and over and over again, and they'll put you if you're good at it, they'll put you up against incoming people.

SPEAKER_06

I I don't know. I've never done it before.

SPEAKER_02

Man, I can't wait. I can't wait to see it.

SPEAKER_06

I've never done it, I've never done it before.

SPEAKER_03

What's it on? Uh Ranya Hanan on YouTube.

SPEAKER_02

It's on YouTube?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, it's Grove 70 or 34, right? Grove 34.

SPEAKER_02

Grove 34? Is it just RBL?

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, yeah, it's RBL.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, but everybody showed me that.

SPEAKER_06

I think it's like technically, I think you have to like I think they changed it. Like, I don't even know how it works. I don't know how it works. You might be like amateur until you like have five matches. So I have no clue.

SPEAKER_02

I mean, but is it behind a paywall or we anybody can go see it?

SPEAKER_05

I think it's like 10 bucks, or I think that's on YouTube. You gotta pay to see it? Oh, hell no. That's what I'm talking about. No, no, no, no, no. No, that's not on a paywall.

SPEAKER_02

So once it's once it's up, anybody can watch it. All right. And what did they just search for Roast Battle League? RBL. RBL bitches.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, RBL New York.

SPEAKER_02

What else? What you got Friday? Saturday.

SPEAKER_05

We got a uh no Friday we got the uh uh fundraiser pre uh uh pre raising money. I think they're sending uh like a 12 and under basketball to uh yeah, I think they're doing like a tournament in like Florida or somewhere.

SPEAKER_00

Nice. If I'm around, I'll come through. Anything else?

SPEAKER_05

Uh something out there. I got uh what is it, 27? Oh, you'll probably talk about that. Uh a fifth.

SPEAKER_02

No, you yeah.

SPEAKER_05

I think Deb's got a show uh shout out to Maddox.

SPEAKER_04

Deb Maddox! Just Dam!

SPEAKER_05

Deb's got a show, I think it's Cinnamon's on the fifth with Keith Brennell. He's got like a Oh, that's cool.

SPEAKER_02

Uh somebody just texted me from that crew.

SPEAKER_05

And then the sixth, I think I'm in with uh I think it's cricket comedy and Lewis.

SPEAKER_02

Cricket? Is that racist? No, no, it's uh I used to hang out with this dude. He was a real racist piece of shit. I didn't really hang out with him. He was on my the outskirts of my friend group. Yeah, and when he would walk we would go to places and he would be there and he'd get real drunk and he ran we try to get away from him. He would sit at the bar, watch NFL football.

SPEAKER_03

That's such a jackass thing to do, yo. And just run cricket, catch the ball, cricket, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02

Just man, I I that dude got jerked off that stool one day. Yeah. Oh my god. I laughed until my stomach hurt so bad, man. It was fucking great. Anyway, is that it? Cricket comedy and the beach.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, uh Lewis uh Bruin Company.

SPEAKER_02

Nice. How about you, Izzy? What you got, buddy? You're on that show with him this weekend, right?

SPEAKER_03

Yep. On the 22nd, I will be at the Dream Big Venues. And then uh June 5th, I will be in Baltimore. Uh where's that place you did that thing for show at? Well, I guess I can't shout it out, right? Yeah, well, I'll be in Baltimore the 5th, and after that I'll be in. Yeah, that same show. I was supposed to do that show for Keith, but uh fucking I'd take something else. Uh but I might end up coming down there.

SPEAKER_06

It was cool with RBL. I looked at they'll show you the judges. They have like really good stuff. Aren't we past this point already? Yeah, man. Joe's judges. That's what I'm saying. Is Joe's got judges. You're gonna be a judge coming up, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

August something, third, I think.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, that's what's no, it's all big Tony's thing. Yeah. Eighth. I think it's like seventh or eighth. It's whole festival.

SPEAKER_02

He told me not to talk about it. He was like, we got shows before that. Don't talk about it. So I was like, all right, okay.

SPEAKER_06

Oh, really? Yeah. He didn't tell me. Um, so uh I uh I just thought it was cool that you're on there as a as a judge. Uh I mean I assume we can talk about it. It's on Facebook. I don't know the rules of Facebook.

SPEAKER_02

Who's with me?

SPEAKER_06

Uh RJ. Oh, nice.

SPEAKER_02

Shit, between us, between us, man. We got um 24 years, 23 years.

SPEAKER_06

24 years, 24 years. Who else is on it? Who's the judge? Uh Jamal. Oh, dude, shout out fashion uh hashtag funny uh isn't enough or whatever. Fucking it's a good thing it's not a requirement. But uh no, so that's a total of 26 years, then with him added in there, 27 maybe. Nice.

SPEAKER_05

That should that's cool.

SPEAKER_02

Oh yeah, yeah, man, that'll be fun. Are you who who what's who what is it, a mic?

SPEAKER_06

I think it's like an open mic competition, yeah. Competition competition.

SPEAKER_03

Man, that'll be fun.

SPEAKER_02

Are you are you coming?

SPEAKER_03

You know, I don't compete in uh competition. I'll come do a set though.

SPEAKER_02

All right, I mean it ain't mine to give away sets, but uh I don't know how you I don't know how you apply.

SPEAKER_06

You know what I mean? I think you just show up. I think it's I think it's a microphone. Oh, it might be.

SPEAKER_02

Was it like a festival?

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05

It's like uh yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Felice Navidad. Um anything else, buddy?

SPEAKER_05

Nah, man.

SPEAKER_02

Man, y'all did good holding it together. So Thursday, May 21st. What's that? This is the day it'll come out. I'll be listening to this on the way up there.

SPEAKER_06

What?

SPEAKER_02

DC Comedy Loft. Yeah, this comes out Thursday, so I usually set it to come out at like six. So I'll be on my way. DC Comedy Loft. I'm hosting. Hell yeah. June 28th. I'm at the improv with Tony Woods.

SPEAKER_04

Oh shit.

SPEAKER_02

Gonna be fun. In the main room. Never even been inside the main room, so that'll be fun. Um, and then I think in August. And then that's all. JosebanComedy.com, Joe SpainCom, Joe Spain Comedy on everything. Where are you at? Zach. What's your Instagram? You don't remember it?

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, Zach uh Zach Spicer Comedy D E. Yeah, for Delaware. Yep. Brilliant. You want to have as many words in it as possible. I had three other good ones. They got hacked.

SPEAKER_02

So your other one doesn't work?

SPEAKER_06

What?

SPEAKER_02

Jack the hacked one? The Zach Spicer comedy doesn't work.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

The DE.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Don't you have two Instagram accounts that say Zach Spicer?

SPEAKER_06

No, that's Facebook. You're thinking of Facebook. I can't seem to delete the other one.

SPEAKER_02

Christ.

SPEAKER_06

You know that guy just shared that shit the other day.

SPEAKER_02

Nice. Co underscore Izzy.

SPEAKER_03

Oh no, I'm not on there. 302-2600.

SPEAKER_02

Oh my gosh. Thank you.