OGYN #35 Homeless Joe Speaks

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in this episode: Top 100 Music/Beer Drinking/Getting Homeless/stress/friends/Laugh/Family/Comedy Happenings/Call with IZZY: fishing, NBA, Knicks, Headlines, Movies, Headlines

     Joe and Izzy chop it up and tackle all the tough issues with comedy. Live Show tix joespaincomedy.com 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:42

I don't know, man. I'm looking at the top 100 right now for today. It was uh updated 17 hours ago. And in the top ten, there are one, two, three, four, five, six, six songs off the new Drake album. What in our tarnation?

SPEAKER_04 1:04

What incarnation?

SPEAKER_02 1:06

And there's another girl on there named Ella Langley. She got two songs. I think this is fucking, I think this is gonna be country, if I had to guess. Choose in Texas.

SPEAKER_06 1:17

Yeah, man.

SPEAKER_02 1:18

Probably good-looking female. I can't, I don't really uh let's see what she looks like. Go to album. Maybe her picture's on the album. Nope, her picture's not on the album. Oh yeah. If that's her, she's attracted. Yeah. What do you know? Choosing Texas. Ella Langley. But besides that, we're looking at uh all uh Ella Langley got two, Taylor Swift got one. Ooh, oh, and it's the Toy Stories movie song thing. Oh I don't know nothing about the new Toy Story. Oh my god, I can't take it. I can't take it. I can't take it.

SPEAKER_04 2:03

Kick that bitch old wing out.

SPEAKER_02 2:06

Yeah, but if you go down to the top 20, in the in the next 10, this motherfucker Drake got one, two, three, four, five more songs. That album must have just dropped. This podcast is brought to you by Modelo Special. It by no means is affiliated with this podcast or anything it says or any of the opinions expressed on it. Let's see what that's we're doing going on here. Golden, full-flavored Pilsner style lager with a clean, crisp finish. So it is a Pilsner or it is a lager. What is a full-flavored Pilsner styled lager? Let's give her a try.

SPEAKER_03 2:58

Here's to you, kid. Cervasa. Yeah, keto.

SPEAKER_02 3:12

Oh man, I hope everybody's having a good day. I'm fucking homeless, you know. As of tomorrow, my apartment, my homeboy has been letting me live in his apartment, which has been cramped, but very appreciated. It's been me and my my son, who just graduated high school, and my wife all sharing a one-bedroom apartment. Um he helped me out a lot, man. Love the cat. Um, and because I was working on my house and the shit happened. And I went to the can. Some little bit of a little bit of drug charges, 15 felonies, 200 some fucking years. Tried to drop the hammer on you, boy. Took everything I owned, everything I had, except that house, which was half in construction. All the lumber I ordered rotted in the yard, like I was in the middle of it. And then had to take a little vacation. So when I got out on vacation, all the lumber was rotted. Oh, I had termites in it. The little wormies and then the little thing you swarm. Man, get them all up in your mouth and they go in your nose. Need some anteaters. Anteaters around here to eat the termites. Why don't they call them termite eaters? Because I think where they live, they go in termite mounds. I think I heard that. I think that's right. Is that right? I think that's right. Yeah, yeah, that's right. Termite mounds, baby. So Izzy still ain't got his motherfucking brake thing fixed. Times is hard out here. Even when he gets them shits fixed, it's like $19 a gallon for diesel fuel. Everything going up, everything's expensive. I'm still out here trying to spread some laughter. While I'm homeless, I got a couple weeks off of doing comedy. Um, I'm still gonna be out doing some sets, just keeping myself loose, but I'm not doing any paid shows for a couple weeks. Um get my shit straight. So I got somewhere to lay my head without uh jumping couches, sharing showers. So going to the truck stop. What's up there, little boy? You tap your foot on the floor underneath a mastall. Shoapy, show, soap, soap ain't greasy. No, yeah. Maybe go to the gym. That might get me in the gym if I need a shower after a couple days, you know what I'm saying? I still got a truck. I got a garage. So it ain't gonna get that bad. I'm supposed to get electric by the end of the week. You know, got so long as you got electric, man, you better than they was, you know, 100 years ago. That's why I keep trying to tell everybody. Nobody wants to listen to me. Everybody wants to stress. I'm stressed too a little bit, but you know what? They ain't have running water. We ain't got running water yet, neither. Because I live it's in the country. In the country. See, I know that country song. Let me let me taste this modella real quick, excuse me. Beer ain't bad for a beaner, bear, I tell you.

SPEAKER_04 6:30

I tell you that beaner just said beaner.

SPEAKER_02 6:37

Anyway, yeah, um so getting that straight. That's going on. That's happening. I think it'd be like a it's gonna be fun though, man. I think it's gonna be like a camping trip, you know what I'm saying? Like, you know. Because when we first get electric, it's just gonna be like at one outlet. So I'm gonna have to like maybe put a window AC in one plug, and then one more gonna plug in the other plug. Then oh I think I got three people fighting over one plug.

SPEAKER_05 7:13

I need to charge my phone, I need to charge my laptop, I need to straighten my hair. I need to blend up my ice cream into a milkshake. I need to toast something, I need to cook something.

SPEAKER_02 7:30

Everything else is gonna have to come out of the other outlet. Ain't got refrigerator or nothing yet. Nothing, nothing, roughing, but man, I've had nothing, and I ain't got nothing right now. I've had nothing, and it ain't right now. I got plenty. Fucking grateful, man. Grateful. Big shows coming up at the end of the month. Everybody's you know, healthy. My cousin died, man. That's kind of got me got me feeling some kind of way. We grew up like brothers too, man. We try to kill each other, don't get me wrong. Like, you know, that's what you do. Like, one time I try to cut his leg off with a maw, but it was so heavy, I like swung it slow, like and he moved. Funk. And it hit the ground. I put a hole in the ground. He was all mad.

SPEAKER_04 8:22

He said, I can't believe you tried to hit me with a maw.

SPEAKER_02 8:26

Motherfucker, I was mad. I was 10 years old. I had fucking 10-year-old rage, fifth grade rage. You stole my go bot rage. Stick this go bot up your ass, boy. Bury you in a hole. Yeah. He was like uh he was, you know, he's from Delaware. He went to a small school, had a small group of friends, he liked baseball, got in the military. Military probably saved his life. Probably he probably wouldn't have made it to 47 if it wasn't for the military. Actually, he didn't make 47. He died at 46, just a little bit before his 47th birthday. On his birthday, his June 20, his birthday would have been June 28th. I'll be at the DC Improv for the first time. And I'm gonna fucking bring it. If anybody wants to come see that, you should. Because I'm going for broke. It's my favorite. My cousin's my cousin brother's birthday. He just left us. All I cared about when we were kids. I had to punch him every once in a while. Like every two years I had to crack it. But all the rest of the time, so so less than once a year, a half point five times a year, you had to punch him. But the other 700 and however many days is two years, minus one, all I care about was making that motherfucker laugh. I used to make him laugh. I made him booger shoot out of his nose so many times. The way his face was built, he had like a uh like kind of a narrow mouth and like a like a prominent nose. So he'd get laughing real, and he'd have to put his hand up because buggers would shoot out of his nose onto his lips. And I used to love making him do that. I used to love making him laugh that hard. He'd be trying to be serious, he'd be trying to be mad sometimes, and like trying to be mad, trying to, you know, in his ego, and I'd just be ridiculous. And he'd start laughing, like, fuck you, Joe. Yeah, man. We had some good times. He had many wives, too. That boy.

SPEAKER_04 10:55

Good lord, good lord, he got children all over the world.

SPEAKER_02 11:01

I feel bad for his daughter. His daughter, you got one little daughter that's uh, I don't know, she might be 10, sweetheart, sweet kid, and some more kids, and they're grown. So we all get to get together on Saturday, and at least that's a positive. Maybe we'll eat some Mexican food, maybe drink a couple of these frothy modellos speciales. Special. Sorry, no S on that. All right. I will talk to my boy. Uh Izzy in a minute. We've been busy, man. Busy, busy. Fucking. I don't see how, but people are building shit. Especially like commercial stuff. People are building shit. So that's good. But comedy been busy popping. Shows all over the place. I told you I ain't have nothing, uh, but I got a bang, bang, bang at the end of the month, and really could do it every weekend. It's a lot going on, man. It's a lot going on. This is a good time for people to be getting sharp, sharp like razors, telling the same old jokes. Got two years in thinking you're fucking fresh. You know, there's a weird thing about comedy, man. You get worse before you get better. It's the weirdest thing. And then you think you got it figured out around five years, and then you get worse again. Maybe that's just if you're gonna if you get I don't know. It's so fickle. It's like fucking golf until you get it.

SPEAKER_03 12:41

Until you get it, till you get it. And I ain't saying I got it, but I got it. I got chops. I got chops.

SPEAKER_02 12:48

I'm gonna get a laugh. If I ain't gonna get a laugh, I'm gonna make you mad. You're gonna have to walk. Either I'm gonna make you your belly hurt, or I'm gonna make your belly hurt. Either you're gonna wanna laugh and fall down, you're gonna wanna shit your fucking pants. Alright. Enough of that. Enough talking about my fucking self. Let's call my friend. Let's call the better half of OGY M podcast, Isaiah Tangle. See what he's got to say. Oh my god. Here, let me uh let me do it so y'all can't hear it. Nah, fuck it. It's fun if y'all can hear it. There we go. It's ringing. Rang and woo-hoo.

SPEAKER_04 13:37

Really? What's going on, Jill? Hey! What's up, buddy?

SPEAKER_00 13:43

Nothing much. Eating spaghetti. Shaghetti. Yeah, man.

SPEAKER_02 13:49

Can you hear me good?

SPEAKER_00 13:51

Can I hear you? Yeah, I can hear you.

SPEAKER_02 13:53

All right. What kind of spaghetti do you eat, man? You like sweet spaghetti or uh salty spaghetti?

SPEAKER_00 14:00

It's uh saucy spaghetti. My mom made it. Yeah, meat or meat or no meat? Uh, there's meat in it for sure. Sausage? Yeah, she put uh spicy sausage in it. She usually doesn't, but because I like it, she died. Uh she did two separate ones tonight.

SPEAKER_02 14:21

That's what's up. Shit. Shit. Let's give it up for mama. So what you been up to, brother? I ain't talked to you in a minute. What'd you say, Joe? What do you been up to, man? I haven't talked to you in a minute.

SPEAKER_00 14:38

Nothing much, man. Just chilling, working. Same shit.

SPEAKER_02 14:42

Same shit. You got up on it. Same shit, different smell, man. Did you do any shows this weekend?

SPEAKER_00 14:51

Uh yes, I did uh I had one with Shell, but I think either it got cancer or just my spot got moved back. But uh I uh I did a show for Keith Pennell. I ended up doing that show down at Cinemas. How was it? It was pretty good, man. Not a lot of people, but uh we enjoyed ourselves. Everybody enjoyed themselves, I think. Uh I think they're gonna start doing like open mics and shit there now, trying to build up maybe a little bit of a little bit of an audience for the shoes, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 15:23

Yeah, man, that's cool. Who's it's still uh what's his name running it?

SPEAKER_00 15:28

Uh what's his name? Uh fucking Phil.

SPEAKER_02 15:32

Shout out to Phil, Phil, yeah. God damn it. Hey mom.

SPEAKER_01 15:41

Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 15:44

Put some shrimp in that spaghetti.

SPEAKER_00 15:47

A little busy over here. What'd you say, Mom? Uh no, you can close it. I'll take some of them donuts. Uh no, she didn't make donuts. Uh I love some donuts. Yeah, man. Fried donuts, homemade fried donuts. She can make them with biscuits. Come on now.

SPEAKER_02 16:13

You know, I'm homeless tomorrow. No, for real. We should throw a party for you then, man. Yeah, I got all my shit in my um like my trash trailer, my dump trailer.

unknown 16:26

Uh huh.

SPEAKER_02 16:26

I put plastic all around the sides, and then on the bottom I put it up the side, and then put the put the plastic around the top and put it over and taped it all in there like a burrito.

SPEAKER_00 16:38

Yeah, man. So how long are you gonna be like that?

SPEAKER_02 16:43

I don't know, man. I'm thinking about just going ahead and being a gypsy.

SPEAKER_00 16:47

Hey, man, I would be gypsy with you. I don't mind.

SPEAKER_02 16:51

Fuck it. You know what I mean? I'll drive around with a dump trailer in a pick up drunk.

SPEAKER_00 16:56

You comedy in the dump trailer.

SPEAKER_03 17:00

Yeah. Fucking just dump my shit out of some campground.

SPEAKER_00 17:08

Yeah, man. Some uh some comedy treaties have been started. I don't know if you heard. No, go ahead. Tell me what's up. Uh nothing like too crazy, Zach and Tony. Uh they're cool. Oh, no. Yeah, that whole thing's getting fucking uh put away, put down.

SPEAKER_02 17:28

Zach Spicer and Tony tone, tone, big tone. I'm glad I'm glad. Because Tony Lee, I seen him be be putting on some shows, man. So more power to him.

SPEAKER_00 17:42

Yeah, man. Your show's coming up for him, ain't it?

SPEAKER_02 17:46

Uh I think it's in August. He told me not to talk about it. Oh, never mind. No, I don't care. I I mean, he was kidding, I think. He it was tongue in cheek. He was like, you know, I just got shows before that show. I can't talk about that when you gotta sell these other ones.

SPEAKER_00 18:04

That's what he was saying.

SPEAKER_02 18:06

Yeah, it was at the club the last time he was at the club. Did you go to the comedy club last night? No, I didn't end up going. No, I didn't go neither, man. I saw uh Todd Lanier was hosting it at Dream Big.

SPEAKER_00 18:22

Yeah, I seen the fly that put out Dungeons and Dragons shit.

SPEAKER_02 18:26

Yeah, yeah. I did uh I did the port last week, man, on a Wednesday, I think it was. How was that? It was good, man. It was the the room was full, and I killed, and uh Dubre killed, and um Pennington did good. Everybody did really good, man. It was a really good crowd. They were hot as shit. It was fun.

SPEAKER_00 18:53

Oh shit.

SPEAKER_02 18:54

Yeah, it was fun, man. I got um I got a little risky. I was fucking around with my uh one of my trans jokes. I was doing so good I got cocky, and I um I think I overstepped my bounds with like five or six people, but the rest of them loved it, so fuck it. We're at the port. Yeah, yeah, then port. I went and did another I went and did another set, but um actually no, I didn't. I went over to the motorhouse just to hang out, and I was gonna do a set, but the list was long, and I didn't feel like being trying to be a dickhead, and there's a lot of people there, so I just hung out for a little while and then bounced. Oh yeah. That's what's up. You well, you got anything this weekend?

SPEAKER_00 19:46

Uh Stoner wanted me to come uh do his room. Oh, tomorrow? Uh yeah. Yeah, me too.

SPEAKER_02 19:54

Oh, you're coming to do that too? Yeah, my route would do that. All right, word. He he um I forgot about it actually. I'm glad you said that.

SPEAKER_00 20:03

Yeah, he texted me when I logged on Instagram. I see everything.

SPEAKER_02 20:07

Same, same. So who uh where is that?

SPEAKER_00 20:13

Uh I don't know. Yeah, that'll be interesting figuring out where that is. I'll call him. Yeah. I was about to say I asked Zach if he were coming and do it. He said uh I think he's busy or something. You know, Zach. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:29

It's in Ocean City?

SPEAKER_01 20:31

I thought it was in Ocean City if that's the ride streaming.

SPEAKER_02 20:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:36

Oh, that's what's up. Yeah, man. Fuck it. We'll stay out of ocean city for a night, man. We ain't got nowhere to go.

SPEAKER_03 20:43

Right, I'll pull my trailer in Ocean City.

SPEAKER_02 20:46

Yeah, man.

SPEAKER_00 20:46

We'll start comedy festival.

SPEAKER_02 20:49

I'll dig out my fishing rods.

SPEAKER_00 20:52

Yeah, but I got my fishing poles, man. We got fishing.

SPEAKER_02 20:55

Mine are packed away, but I'll get I can dig them out. I gotta get up in the plastic tent.

SPEAKER_00 21:02

I got an ugly stick, man.

SPEAKER_02 21:04

Yeah, me too. Oh yeah. You know, it used to be if uh if you broke an ugly stick, you could go get another one. Like for free? Yes. You could take any ugly stick, like to you know, Bass Pro Shops or whatever, and if it was broken, it didn't matter how you broke it neither. They would replace that fucking thing.

SPEAKER_00 21:28

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:29

Yeah. But I know, I know. I had them my whole life, but they stopped doing it. Yeah. This is like the uh, you know, the tape measures and Sears. They used to replace they used to replace them bitches. All you had to do was buy one. That's not a good uh that's not a good business model, I don't think. I miss Sears. Yeah, me too. Where else could you go and rub one out in a washing machine?

unknown 21:59

Well

SPEAKER_00 22:00

a little too young to be running out and see or something but I can imagine though I could imagine the pull.

SPEAKER_02 22:08

Man I smell a stink bug. I must have squashed a stink bug on myself somewhere. You know the Did you end up home one day? Nah man I I'm trying to pack my shit up and get the fuck out of this apartment and live in my truck.

SPEAKER_00 22:22

Damn you know I'm saying how's the missus in the sun um they're rolling with it I'm saying you know the missus don't like it but just you know just Joseph the son is like eh we'll be all right you say you can find them some pussy anywhere yeah man I can't I can't afford another rent you know I'm saying like I pay mortgage I pay mortgage on a house that I can't live in right now so I'm just gonna have to wait how far long is that we're putting drywall up yeah yeah I got a little bit of construction uh under my belt yeah I heard that yeah hell yeah man you should remember it so um what are you doing the rest of the week man you are you're not getting your shit fixed this week no man I'm trying to save up as much of that money by myself without having to ask my people because I never give it to them so right but are you gonna get something else or are you gonna get it fixed? I don't know I was looking around to trade in but um I think I might pay off a little bit more just so it's easier on me. Yeah I mean when I go to trade in it's uh it's worth like five G's so fucking I assume by the time I pay it off it'll be worth uh dick.

SPEAKER_02 23:51

You know I mean a couple coins so fucking but I won't necessarily be the worst thing if I trade in anyway so well did you hear uh are you did did you hear fucking uh we law we launched missiles against Iran because they shot we lost what against Iran missiles man missiles oh we launched missiles not lost launched oh that's pretty fuck why'd we do that uh something about a helicopter I think they shot at a helicopter yeah so fucking gas is probably gonna go up again I feel like that's a good no well I I can't say if it's a good reason or not you know I mean I'm no I'm no government official but yeah you just need to fucking fucking get the fuck away do you think it's gonna lead to something I hope not man I hope the motherfuckers just swallow their pride and leave them motherfuckers alone you know I feel like life's kind of hard now I know man if war happens yeah then you can blame it blame everything on war.

SPEAKER_00 25:01

Right right oh you stop going to work war man war it was just gonna be war is gonna be like COVID of of 2026 not intervene and I'm with it I'm with it Netflix and not intervene definitely man my boss came in there snapping it in fucking well the employees laid him out and fucking it's just real awkward you know punched him it's like that thing like everyone can uh it's like when uh that one dude leaves you know I mean like he's like fuck it we don't have to be here you know so he leaves and uh just kind of makes it weird on everybody else you know yeah yo did you see your Knicks yeah man I've seen those sorry bastards man I got a couple things I want to ask you about so first of all did you see uh Trump get introduced last night no he got intro all right yeah so he was at the Knicks game last night I saw it and I thought I was surprised honestly without hearing any other news without anything else watching it I was surprised how many people cheered like yeah I was like huh that's weird and then I was thinking well you know he's kind of from New York didn't you know maybe you know whatever it sounded like it was 6040 cheers there was boos too but it sounded like there were more cheers than boos you don't think they're just excited man I don't know but today I opened my phone and every news outlet was saying that uh Donald Trump got booed at the NBA finals and I was like I don't know if that's accurate I don't know it's still weird like isn't there better shit to lie about come on I mean some people were booing but I think the majority of the people were fucking actually cheering the fucking douche the people that can afford to go to the Knicks game I'm sure they love fucking Knicks yeah that's yeah you know what I didn't even think of that but you're right those tickets it's fucking expensive as a bitch those tickets dude went for they were going for tens of thousands of dollars tens of thousands of dollars fucking insane joseph looked up uh four seats and the top it wasn't even down on the floor level it was the top of like the 100 level and it was four of them and it was over thirty thousand dollars thirty thousand dollars for a basketball game fuck that's insane like I imagine you go to that and you can't really do anything like it's not like hey you want to go to a basketball game and you know dinner now like I'm sure that doesn't happen so you're right though so all those people were a certain you know had money yeah so that explains it a lot of Jews a lot of New York money a lot of New York development people all those people are fucking Trump people's my homie Nick he's like hey man let's see we should go to a live basketball game like I'm just not really into that shit you know I'm saying like that's like the main reason because like once you spend all the money to get there it's like what the fuck are we gonna do now man oh man I love it I think it's fun I cheer and cuss and fucking yeah man I get into it I love it yeah man I don't know I get the same thrill sitting in a bar watching it not anything different for me have you ever been nah I've been to some WNBA games that don't count I mean it gave me the same thrill you know what I mean when the dunking going on didn't necessarily miss it no it's not about dunking it's about the crowd being into it and like I've been to some uh college boys games like some pretty big college games but even those man just yeah I like when the when it's contentious like when the game's on the line and the crowd's going back and forth at each other and fucking I love that shit.

SPEAKER_02 29:38

Um man I I maybe it's because I played basketball because I always hated the crowds you know saying never really did anything for me did you see not like a big hype man as you can tell well if you didn't without the crowd it doesn't exist the NBA basketball oh the NBA yeah yeah you're right yeah right that's what I'm saying basketball the game may exist but the NBA wouldn't exist so did you see any of the footage of the Knicks fans after the game after the game no last night nah I didn't see any of it you just what do you what the fuck do you read? What do you listen to?

SPEAKER_00 30:24

Nothing pertaining to that I tell you it's uh what have I been watching lately? Oh I've been watching uh listening to LA oh that's good yeah so I'm up I'm up on my 2009 sports you know what I'm saying yeah so in 2009 you knew what happened after game three of the NBA I knew how impactful LeBron James was because I didn't know that for didn't understand how fucking impactful bumass LeBron was still really doing I don't really care for him glad he's retiring is he really isn't he like why would he not?

SPEAKER_02 31:04

You know like I I don't know I don't think he said he is man I don't think he's he's I think he's on the fence he fucking should you ever seen that dude's feet LeBron's yeah man it's uh it's unreal it's crazy man his feet are sideways they put them on wrong man do you think like his wife cares? I'm sure like the million dollars and the fucking the great penis I'm saying probably overshadows that but what if from running and jumping his balls and his penis look like his feet I mean that's still a fucking monster you know what I mean somebody got a monster dick but it looks like it's got like tusks coming out of it like a fucking rhinoceros and fucking old toenails. There's some dirty bitches out there I like that type shit I like fat chicks you know what I'm saying I like women that clearly have a problem with them well look last night after the Knicks game man dude there was this white guy who looked like straight dork like just a normal suburbs fucking white guy wearing a Spurs jersey and they stomped him stomped him and he was running and they were kicking him in the ass and knocking him down he had shorts on too his legs were all scraped up and there's videos of them for blocks fucking with this guy kicking him and hitting him punching him getting him getting down and them all kicking him and then somebody you know like a good Samaritan helping him up and he starts running again and then they kick him down to the ground it was fucking horrible man I felt bad for the guy I don't know why I'm laughing huh it's not I know it's not funny.

SPEAKER_00 32:58

No that's pretty fucking funny fuck that guy and there was a whole bunch of people like yeah you don't wear no Spurs jersey in our hood you know get the fuck out of here what the Spurs ever done what's the Knicks ever done for you you know I mean whatever we root for teams but they never paid you any money yeah spikely ever gave you anything N-word yo n-word what trying to change it up man trying to get clean oh that's good that's good you go going to meetings now man I'm trying to progress my career I'm trying to go clean that's nice oh line in your ear line in your ear yeah man a lot of humor work hey man uh he's not wrong yeah yeah he's not the crazy thing is he's not wrong but I still gotta fight it yeah the good fight you know I saw I let him win oh man if I let Lon win fucking the boys lose you know say yeah the boys you ever watch yeah you ever watch that show the boys nah I'm street man what it's not gay it is it's not it is you know why it's gay why my brother watches it oh man come on yo who you think got the best fried chicken the best I don't know man me and you had some pretty good fried chicken no I mean like of the fast food places yeah that's what I'm saying me you had the gas station fried chicken that should be busting oh yeah the gas station chicken is the shit sometimes the Uncle Willie's chicken is good man see I never had Uncle Willie's chicken I remember uh the Indians used to have some uh some good ass fried chicken but it used to be Uncle Indians that ran the Uncle Willie's yeah that's what I'm talking about the Uncle Willie's and Seafert uh yeah but they don't serve anymore what I don't think yeah serve in a while did you ever eat Hardy's chicken Hardy's like fried like what do you mean Hardy's fried chicken Hardy's what do you mean I'm confused I don't know what you understand my man Hardy's used to have fried chicken like for real pieces like old pieces correctly like thighs wings breast yep your bullshit nope I swear to god your mom remembers I ain't never known hardy's chicken I wouldn't ever eat it I don't like KFC's chicken that shit's disgusting yeah hardy's chicken was like peppery it like had these black specks in the breading it was good like the first bite was good or two bites and then it was like ugh that's that's a lot no I never had it rofo is a good chicken they do man they were salty but they toned it down and now it's good again I like it yeah they got some uh some retards in there like well yeah I was thinking about if I should say it or not I told you I'm trying to work clean uh see what what do you say you say the R-word Yeah I can't even take myself serious of saying shit like I'm trying to work clean first off me work yeah right yeah I was thinking about just leaving you alone letting you relax but I was like man I'm I fucking uh I need the swift kick in the ass every now and again. All right good good good I'm not a self-starter so you think my uh guidance counselor wrote that they wrote it on what?

SPEAKER_02 36:51

On something that uh got sent to him that my parents did not like man I had to crawl into this house the other day it smelt like somebody took you know how when you when you make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich you take the peanut butter and you smear it out over the bread and it goes over the bread like in a thin even layer it no not really because I don't really eat peanut butter I get what you're saying though I get the sentiment. Okay so it smelt like somebody did that with fucking death and shit under the fucking house just oh man it was horrible horrible I got it all over me too man I was like yeah you wanna do a headline buddy oh yeah man all right let's do it let me sl let me slide down here put past all the serious shit fuck that do you know is there a new toy story out is there a new what story out to Toy Story uh I don't know yeah I'm not too sure I saw uh before I called you I was looking at the top ten um or the top one hundred music uh and Taylor Swift had a song on there that it's it it looked like it was on the Toy Story soundtrack oh shit I think there is a new toy story in there that you mentioned that I'm not too sure but I think there is well man I like I've liked I I don't know how many there is but I think I've seen a couple of them and I liked them.

SPEAKER_00 38:33

Yeah Toy Story is good as shit.

SPEAKER_02 38:36

The all of them I never there has not been a battle I don't think I mean I I don't think so obviously I'm not a uh Disney critic I'm sure some will tell you otherwise but I don't think it's uh a bad Toy Story out yeah I like I like Toy Stories I like the Pixar films I like all them shits especially if it's you got good weed are you ready? Uh let me think they even had some good shorts like uh like some Holl some uh fucking what type of shorts did they have um like Halloween that some Halloween shit all type shit you ready I got one from page six yeah I'm ready former Superman Dean Kane 59 blasted for disgusting comment about supergirl newbie Millie Allock 26 shallow and cruel what do you think he said did you say superman died again is that what you said superman Dean Kane it's a guy's name Dean Kane Dean Kane Dean Kane was the Superman on the series that was on TV with Terry Hatcher who everybody wanted to fucking see Mexican man no well he kind of does look Mexican he got a fat face now he might have cancer face anyway it said it he was blasted for a disgusting comment quote disgusting comment about supergirl newbie Millie Allock I don't know who Millie alok or alcock alcohol I think it's alcock 26 said it's a shallow and cruel comment all right let's see what do you say supergirl super gay what do you think he said I don't know he probably said like yeah like something like uh the movie's super gay or super fucking set well or something he's criticizing super girl like a show uh I think he's criticizing super I think there's a movie like a new movie coming out with Supergirl let me see what he said he said waiters going all right here we go here we go wait if Supergirl's skin is bulletproof how does she have ear piercings Kane responded with a thinking face emoji then the user followed up blah blah blah dang it I laughed Kane candidly commented back oh so he laughed what the fuck man this is so stupid people are so fucking stupid he didn't even fucking say nothing he didn't fucking say nothing Dean Richards or whatever his name is Dean Kane can't even say that it's just people this is people saying things about him and they're using it as if he said it fucking hate the news man Jesus Christ it doesn't even matter get a superman super caught up excuse me all right I got one for you we'll do this one and then we'll wrap it up I'll I'll let you go home and then I'll wrap it up. Alright you ready? Yes sir what the 19 best war movies do you like war movies? Not at all it I'll skip that one then I like war movies.

SPEAKER_00 42:32

I hate sad shit I hate shit that's weird to me you know there's never no black people in it I'm saying there were no black people in there dying they just got white people in there dying so I don't think it's very accurate. And then the ones that are really accurate are really sad. Alright you ready?

SPEAKER_02 43:00

That was it I'm not going into it why not because man you don't fucking want to know about the war movies you ain't gonna watch them I mean I've seen a couple of them though I mean I might I've been Hacksaw Ridge where's that at I know that's on there I don't know man it's fucking uh let's see what they are the first one's 1917 never seen it shit movie I watched it was shot with one camera the whole time so it got all kinds of uh like critical acclaim like it was shot cool and the dudes acting did fine but it just wasn't that good all Quiet on the Western Front you ever seen that one I haven't seen that one either I can't say that word uh Beasts of no nation now man god damn I wouldn't even watch these as black there's black people I think they're from uh it's it like an African war movie Bombardment. That guy looks like a Piker. No, man. The Five Bloods. The Five Bloods.

SPEAKER_00 44:10

That seems like some uh some gangster shit. It's a Spike Lee joint from 2020. That is a Spike Lee joint. Yeah. Oh, that shit gotta be ass.

SPEAKER_02 44:22

Yeah, man. That's what he's saying. Tribute to the Vietnam War. Called the Fox.

SPEAKER_00 44:29

It's a nigga's version of the Vietnam War. Who's never been out of fucking New York?

SPEAKER_04 44:35

He said the N-word. He said the N-word.

SPEAKER_00 44:39

Oh, damn. We say I've never worked chickens again.

SPEAKER_02 44:46

Damn, man. Let's don't let's no, don't let's go to the dogs tonight. What the fuck kind of English is that?

SPEAKER_00 44:54

What about Born on the Fourth of July? That's a war movie.

SPEAKER_02 44:58

The King. You ever seen that? Timothy Chalomet?

SPEAKER_00 45:01

No, I don't like Timothy Chalamet.

SPEAKER_02 45:03

I don't either. I mean, he could be a nice dude, but I don't buy him as a tough guy. Mosul, Munich. Man, you don't know none of these movies. It's number 24. Something about Munich now. Mince meat. Private war. Schindler's List. You seen that one? Nope.

unknown 45:26

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 45:28

Hey, go watch Schindler's List. Smoke enough weed to where you'll have attention span.

SPEAKER_00 45:34

But I mean, dude, it's just sad, ladies. It is sad. That's a sad people with weird haircuts. Yeah, they're Jews. I'm talking about the Germans. They're Germans and the Jews. They're the ones giving out all that work that I'm so desperately looking for. Get in here, Long's Jewish. Who? Apparently, that's a really mean thing to say about certain people. I remember I asked uh a redhead boy if he was Jewish, so he really gave me a scorn talking to. Really? Yeah, because he was Irish or something. So he said. He said uh apparently a lot of people uh accused him of that, and Irish people had killed and he said Jewish people have killed his family or something. Oh my gosh. The kids uh shout out to my nigga Murphy. He was a good one. I remember he came out as bisexual before it was cool, man. He got shit.

SPEAKER_02 46:39

You know Pebo Bryson is? Uh-uh. Yeah, he a RB singer. Who? Pebo Bryson.

SPEAKER_00 46:51

Steve O'Brison. Never heard of him.

SPEAKER_02 46:53

Steve O Pebo. P-E-A.

SPEAKER_00 46:55

Pebo, Tebow.

SPEAKER_02 46:57

Yeah, Tebo. Jesus Christ. No, I never heard of him. He did. What'd he do? He was a uh RB singer. No, alright. Join news, tab in.

SPEAKER_00 47:13

I'm reading the news. Oh, all right. All right. I'm listening.

SPEAKER_03 47:22

I should have took credit for it.

SPEAKER_04 47:24

Yeah, man, I know it.

SPEAKER_03 47:26

I was about to say, man, I never heard of this guy.

SPEAKER_02 47:36

You're uh um, did you did you tell your mom about um Lincoln Lawyer? Lincoln Lawyer. Lincoln Lawyer. I'm gonna tell my mom about that. Because I told you about the show, the Lincoln Lawyer. Nah, I forgot all that. Alright, well, tell her.

SPEAKER_00 47:57

I got you. Lincoln Lolita.

SPEAKER_02 48:00

Not Lincoln Lolita, Lincoln Lawyer. Lincoln Lawyer, I got you. I know, I know, I know. All right, man. I'm gonna get ready to wrap this thing up. Thanks for thanks for answering. Uh no, no. We just chilling. Um we got into your boy Crazy Steve, man. Freddie Boneyard's coming on the 7th. Better. Yeah. So, but I don't know where he's coming because I'm gonna be homeless.

SPEAKER_00 48:28

Man, we'll start doing this shit out of Todd's fucking garage, man, like the old days. Fuck it.

SPEAKER_02 48:33

Well, I mean, I got a uh power outlet. I only need two plugs. So I got power outlet in my truck. We can do it off the tailgate.

SPEAKER_00 48:43

Some fucking road beers.

SPEAKER_02 48:44

Yeah, man. Put on some bug spray, sit on a tailgate.

SPEAKER_00 48:48

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 48:51

All right, brother, man. I'll talk about it. All right, man. All right, love you, bro.

SPEAKER_00 48:55

All right, love you too, dog. Later.

SPEAKER_04 48:58

And there he goes.

SPEAKER_02 49:00

Fucking retard. Oh man. That would be pretty fun though.

SPEAKER_03 49:07

Sitting on a sitting on the talk on a bay.

SPEAKER_02 49:11

No, sitting on the tailgate and friggin' drinking a beer six and doing a potty podcast. Man, a new He-Man movie. I thought has He Man come out this month? It's Kride Month. Dad damn it. I knew it. Everybody told me I used to love E-Man. And then when I was like 11 or 12 years old, I got punched in the head and told that He-Man was a fag. And I got pushed in dog poop. And I got dog poop on my sweatshirt. And I couldn't get the dog poop off my sweatshirt. And I didn't know what fag meant.

SPEAKER_03 50:00

I didn't know what it meant. What is that?

SPEAKER_02 50:05

Shit. So maybe I was nine. I probably shouldn't have known what that word was, but I was eleven. Maybe not though. Probably just said it without knowing what I was saying fucking forever. That's what kids do.

unknown 50:20

Man.

SPEAKER_02 50:21

Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks must have a new movie coming out. I see a lot of interviews coming out with Tom Hanks. I still think the uh going back to basketball for a minute, I still think the fucking Spurs are gonna win. Even though they're down 2-1 right now. Um, Florida Man fights off shark. If I was a shark, the last person I'd fuck with is Florida man. I saw a video today. This dumb motherfucker was running from the cops and jumped in this like lake, swamp, marsh thing to try to swim across it. Goddamn alligator come across there and ripp one of his arms off and fucked the other one up. So now he's got like a fork for one arm and no other arm. He's fucking oh man. Ah, poor bastard should have just took his DUI and called it a day. Actually, I think he had a oh I think he had a warrant for something. Um I did want to talk about this real quick. I I read today that Pepsi and uh I'm 100% on Pepsi, but maybe Amazon or somebody like that released a whole fleet of self-del self-uh driving delivery trucks today. No people put that in your pipe and smoke it.

SPEAKER_03 51:49

No people driving around.

SPEAKER_02 51:53

So job elimination between you know AI and fucking gas and oh man, things are gonna be wild and crazy soon. And I'm still gonna be slinging jokes. I'm gonna be making fun of all of it.

SPEAKER_04 52:06

You dumb motherfuckers bought your electric vehicles and now we got no sun. All the coal you burn blackened out the sun.

SPEAKER_02 52:23

Went to the grocery store, and one banana was four dollars. People just gonna stop paying. They're just gonna take it. They're just gonna take it. Alright, guys. Thank you for listening. I love all you guys. This puts things into perspective for me, man. I'm going through a little bit of a rough time right now. Everything is still funny, man. Still gotta just roll with it. I can feel you. I can feel you, guys. You know, shit sucks some days, man. Just take a deep breath. I just know you'll be laughing about it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow. But someday, I'd be like, man, that sucked. Yeah, it did. It fucking blew. It's just easier just to fucking laugh it off. Any shit you can do. Thank you guys for listening. Come to the end of the month, JosebayenComedy.com. Follow me, Joe Spain Comedy on Instagram. Last weekend of the month. We got Del Mar. Denton D2.

SPEAKER_06 53:43

D D'Arta.