OGYN #38 The return of Izzy and Zack Spicer - 7:1:26, 9.02 AM

Share this Podcast with all your friends who like to laugh. Thank you to everyone listening. Mad Love. 

In this episode @ko_izzy returns to the co-host chair and brings comedian Zack Spicer with him. The guys discuss the weekend of shows and all the craziness the went down. Current events and headlines and Lager also discussed. Give it a listen, laugh for an hour. 

     Joe and Izzy chop it up and tackle all the tough issues with comedy. Live Show tix joespaincomedy.com 

Thank you to everyone who laughs with us. Please Like, Share and comment to keep us improving. Spread the laughter. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_04 0:51

What's up? Welcome to another OGYM podcast, number thirty fucking eight.

SPEAKER_00 0:56

God damn. Fuck.

SPEAKER_04 0:58

Fuck. That's a half a year and a little piece and a little piece. Hell yeah. I'm back here with my man Isaiah fucking tingle. I missed you, buddy. Back in studio, dude. Back in studio. I missed you, man. Miss you, dog. I was fucking doing solo episodes and talking all kinds of shit. I was insane. I was in here talking to myself.

SPEAKER_07 1:19

Did you still have the mic set up?

SPEAKER_04 1:22

No. Actually, one time I made a you.

SPEAKER_07 1:24

You made I was about to say, man, just sit like a fucking blank notebook.

SPEAKER_04 1:28

I was a little bit drunk. So in one of them I did, I put like a sweatshirt around the back of the chair and fucking. I was, yeah, it was fucked up. Also in the studio with us is my man Zach Spicer. How you doing, Zachy?

SPEAKER_06 1:39

Good, good.

SPEAKER_04 1:41

It was a good weekend with you this weekend, buddy.

SPEAKER_06 1:43

Yeah, Saturday was good. That was uh that was a good crowd. Yeah, they were fun. I wish I recorded it. You didn't record it, did you? Nah. Yeah, I didn't. No.

SPEAKER_07 1:54

What show did me and you do this weekend? Or last weekend, me and you did a show too. What? Weekend before this weekend? Yeah, it was the weekend before. Was it C from uh Ken Island? Oh, at uh I saw a picture of that. Oh, yeah, I forgot this nigga did like five minutes. Murdered. He should only do about five.

SPEAKER_06 2:15

You did good Saturday. I know, don't tell him, but yeah, I know. How long did you do Saturday? Do you know? No, because you walked up and I thought that was not the light. You know what I mean? I thought you were like at least getting.

SPEAKER_04 2:24

I was just getting close.

SPEAKER_06 2:26

That's fine, but it was probably ten.

SPEAKER_04 2:27

I mean, I think now, I don't know, especially with that crew of people. Um I should be able to just kind of give a give a little heads up and you know. That's what I was saying.

SPEAKER_06 2:38

I just saw you and I saw you sit down, and I was like, oh, okay, he's getting ready to.

SPEAKER_04 2:41

You know how you're doing. I uh Alejandro's mad at me.

SPEAKER_06 2:46

Nah, yeah. And uh, and as soon as he walked in, I said, Oh, there's no way Spain's gonna throw a ball. He just walked in. So he goes, This first guy coming up uh from Baltimore. And like I was standing because I'm like waiting for it.

SPEAKER_02 3:03

He was like, From Baltimore, and I just sit back down and look at all the we look at each other, and he was like, his lips weren't ready.

SPEAKER_05 3:10

Come on. You know, his phone was dead.

SPEAKER_04 3:11

He was the funny thing is I saw the whole thing.

SPEAKER_02 3:17

You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_04 3:18

I I was I was kind of fucking with the crowd. I wasn't doing material, you know. I was doing my thing, but I was on autopilot enough to where I saw him and G walk in. And as soon as I saw them walk in, I'd already I sent them the lineup, you know what I'm saying? In order about how much time each of them were doing on Instagram, right? Yeah, yeah. Hey, ain't my fault they're not here, you know what I'm saying? So as soon as I saw them, I was like, fuck, watch, I'm gonna get him. Alejandro got a muscle, man. There's no reason why he shouldn't write with G. He wrote with G.

unknown 3:47

Ah.

SPEAKER_04 3:47

Yeah, but yeah, that's good, right? But uh, I saw him walking and I seen him plug in his phone and he had his tripod. As soon as he set his tripod down, he walked out of the room. As soon as I seen his bald head coming back, I was like, here he comes. He did good though. Yeah, oh yeah, yeah. Professional, man. That gave him some material. Right. Yeah, that's funny as hell. He ragged on me for the first couple minutes, you know what I mean? I knew this motherfucker was going on. Everybody was loving it.

SPEAKER_06 4:12

That's funny. Yeah, he was good. G killed. Yeah, that's the first time I've liked seen her outside of an open mic.

SPEAKER_04 4:17

Yeah, she did good. She had a uh, she kind of bailed at the end because I think she was getting ready to go somewhere that she didn't know whether they would go with her or not.

SPEAKER_06 4:25

Uh really. Yeah, I was gonna say.

SPEAKER_04 4:26

I saw her kind of computing in her head, like, yeah, I think I'm done.

SPEAKER_07 4:30

That's how I do it. Call it, I was like, well, I'm satisfied.

SPEAKER_06 4:34

It's like I don't care who he people are because you're having to leave because I wanted to see Savoy. Oh listen, listen. He killed everyone.

SPEAKER_04 4:42

Oh my God. Yeah, he murdered.

SPEAKER_06 4:45

That's awesome.

SPEAKER_04 4:46

He murdered and there every time there would be like a couple minute dead spot, I would be like, man, what is he doing? You know, maybe he like every people are falling out of chairs. That's awesome. He was in a real silly mood. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? It was good, man. It was good. I wish I'd recorded. I got like uh he asked me to record him. So I brought out my camera, but the fucking card only had like 12 minutes on it. So I hit record, and he didn't even really get cooking until 12 minutes.

SPEAKER_01 5:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 5:17

Like it wasn't bad, don't get me wrong. But the last 10 or 15, you know, 10 or 12 minutes, he was on fucking fire, man. He was on fire. It was good. I gotta tell you something off the air.

SPEAKER_07 5:29

Damn, man. Is it that serious?

SPEAKER_04 5:31

No, it ain't that serious. It's not air. This isn't air anyway, it's internet.

SPEAKER_07 5:35

Yeah, I wish it were air, like fucking OA.

SPEAKER_05 5:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 5:38

That'd be Jim Norton. Yeah. In love with transvestites. It's been a while. I'm back. I take call.

SPEAKER_06 5:46

Take call and calls from We call somebody once in a while.

SPEAKER_07 5:50

Yeah, man.

SPEAKER_04 5:50

I call him on here.

SPEAKER_06 5:51

I heard him.

SPEAKER_04 5:54

So uh how did your Saturday go? That's what I wanted to ask you. You went to the club.

SPEAKER_06 6:00

Yeah, it was it was a salvage project.

SPEAKER_04 6:02

It was good? It was fun.

SPEAKER_06 6:04

No, we had like 10 people, like it was salvage, like the comics got paid, but there was only like probably like 10 people on there.

SPEAKER_04 6:09

But it was who who was on it? I don't know.

SPEAKER_06 6:11

Oh, it was good. Yeah, yeah, Craig Paul. Yeah. Uh RJ. Riley hosted. Pre-did like a uh Random Spot.

SPEAKER_04 6:20

So Riley was there back to back nights.

SPEAKER_06 6:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 6:23

That's cool. Good for her. She had fun on uh Friday night. Oh for sure, yeah. Yeah, she was uh she was happy. She has your show too. She did something on my show.

SPEAKER_06 6:35

That got my Friday too. That uh what's his name? That's the first time I've seen Split. Man, Split was funny that night at the club.

SPEAKER_07 6:41

Split's funny as fuck. Yeah, he's got a natural.

SPEAKER_06 6:45

Yeah, for sure. And he's got a natural like uh uh timing and uh I played in his bullshit when he like kept saying he'd only been on stage like one time.

SPEAKER_07 6:53

I was like, no way.

SPEAKER_06 6:54

That's what I asked him. I asked him if he did like public speaking or was in a band, you know what I mean? Just something where he's very comfortable on stage.

SPEAKER_04 6:59

He is comfortable on stage, man. Saturday or whatever night that was, Friday, Friday, I didn't uh like I was surprised, man. He's pleasantly surprised by him. Oh, he's like, man, he's comfortable. He's weird.

SPEAKER_06 7:15

Yeah, that's what I thought.

SPEAKER_04 7:16

I just hope he's okay when it when he hits one of them plateaus. I think so. He's got a good energy. I think so. He's got a good energy. He's such a nice dude. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_06 7:24

I don't see anything like and he thought he he didn't uh uh explain in detail, but also he's uh was like big in sports, big like uh regular sports. So I was I don't think he's gonna let us set back. You know what I mean? Like he's not yeah.

SPEAKER_07 7:36

Unlike me, the JV sportsman. I hit a wall and stop.

SPEAKER_06 7:39

Yeah, he wasn't a bench warmer. I don't think he was a bench warmer, yeah. He didn't win any sixth man awards off of coming off the bench there.

SPEAKER_07 7:46

I hit a wall and I'm like, guys, I gotta stay home for like a month. My bearings back.

SPEAKER_06 7:51

Guys, I'm just gonna collect the towels and throw the balls out while we start. I'm not really gonna join you and shoot around. I don't feel like putting on my jersey today, coach. I'm not gonna play anyway. If we're not doing shirts and skins, I'm not playing. I like only wrestling with skins. Yeah. I do. I wanted to like wrestling, but you ever seen like, can you imagine me in a singlet? It's not a good look.

SPEAKER_07 8:11

You get slippery quick though, man. You'd probably be good. Let me tell you, it'd be hard to get it on, easy to get it off. Sounds like you know. No, I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 8:20

You had some biggins in your time, huh?

SPEAKER_06 8:23

No, it's a singlet. If you had to go to a urn, I'm pretty sure you gotta pull the whole thing down.

SPEAKER_04 8:29

Like I think a singlet, you unclip it from underneath your taint, right?

SPEAKER_06 8:32

Like a onesie. Like a woman's onesie, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 8:37

Oh, I said something. Uh, this girl had this dress on the other night at the DC improv. Yeah. And uh, I don't even know what made me think of it, man. But you know those those uh like jumpers you wear that got the shoot in the back that you unbutton and it folds down so you can poop. Yeah. Elmer Fud style. Yeah, yeah. Man, I s I was a little bit, I had a little bit of buzz. You know, I was a little bit drunk. I started railing on this girl and was talking about Elmer Fudd and fucking, yeah, I don't think anybody got it, but I had a great time. I was in my own world. Fucking uh I seen Eddie Colson all weekend.

SPEAKER_07 9:16

He just uh just did the hot box. Fucking uh something in New York. Yeah, a lot of those guys, him, Nathan Scahill, uh uh I think Leon Lee, a lot of them guys make conversion, yeah, going into the city.

SPEAKER_04 9:29

They're grinding. I like it. I think Leon came from DC and then came and tackled Baltimore.

SPEAKER_07 9:35

Oh man, I mean, dude, I still remember when Dragon gave him shit that night. It was so funny because uh Dragon was like, let me break down how this works for you guys. And then uh I was standing there. It was like um we had made a list on our own. I mean, they can't do that. So uh but we thought like there was just a piece of paper there, it was blank. So we were like, oh well, someone put her here. I guess they're feeling lazy tonight, let us start. So we started writing it up, and uh Dragon came over. He's like, Let me show you how comedy works, you know, and then he was like, just because you put your name first, you don't mean you're going first. We got some guys we want to see, like fucking I love dragon. I do that's uh like I had I was like, all right, Dragon. That's like a right of passage, you know what I'm saying? Get dragon out yell at you. I remember I was vaping in there one time and like he came and like really shit on the people next to me because he thought they were vaping. He's like, Do you want the Barmore police department down here and the firefighters and shit? I'm like, oh god. I love them.

SPEAKER_05 10:35

You didn't tell them no, did you?

SPEAKER_07 10:37

These are paying people, you know. I just come and drink water, you know. Oh, Jesus Christ. Shout out to Dragon, man.

SPEAKER_04 10:43

I'll tell you what, man, I found a uh the Eden Town show. You didn't drink, did you? No. Uh uh. Because you had it wrong with it. I was leaving quick. They have a beer there. It's called American Corner, which is a place where I used to live over by Federalsburg. It's actually where the high school is. Federalsburg High. Uh Colonel Richardson High School.

SPEAKER_07 11:05

Anyway. Smelly Girls Locker Room.

SPEAKER_04 11:08

It smells like girls' locker room?

SPEAKER_07 11:09

Smelly girls locker room.

SPEAKER_04 11:10

Oh, yeah?

SPEAKER_07 11:11

Yeah. What were you doing in there? Boys basketball team, travel team had to use a girls' locker room. Oh. What'd it smell like? Yeah. Do you like vape, smoke, and fucking burnt? Burnt? Yeah, something was burning in there.

SPEAKER_01 11:26

Oh man.

SPEAKER_07 11:28

Seances. Come on. I'm coming back. I'm working. The comeback kid. Corey Feldman has nothing on me. Oh man, his guitar solos are amazing. They keep coming up. I love them. No matter what. The video is like 10 uh fucking celebrities that no longer made it in their business. He's always number one. Every time. Every fucking time.

SPEAKER_04 11:51

Yo, you see Fred Durst get on stage with Corey Feldman. And he's like, he's really playing that.

SPEAKER_07 11:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 11:57

I was like, fucking, yeah, but it's jealous. They said Fred Durst needs to rehearse. Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_04 12:05

He's really playing that. I love that uh Big J and all them fucking stalking.

SPEAKER_07 12:10

Oh man. I listen to the Bowfire just gets me through today, man. Lemon O and A.

SPEAKER_04 12:14

Have you ever did they do any podcasts from one of Corey Schiffeldman's shows?

SPEAKER_07 12:18

They did like a lot of shit. They uh I know they shot some shit. They went there to see one of his like festivals. He was open up for somebody, somebody good. Like, yeah, Corey, come open it up. And Big J and like a bunch of the bonfire motherfuckers came and like sat down. Like they were the only people to bought tickets for that half, you know, obviously. Well they they escorted him out though, didn't they? Because they were like uh I guess they wanted to like go to the meet and greet, but Corey was like, they're coming. We can't let them in. Against the angels, so he wouldn't let them in. But like they were in there like chanting, like, do the classics. Like uh What's a Corey Feldman classic? Dude, there's one I can't remember. Uh get up off the ground and dance. Do you know this? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck, man. Corey Feldman got one good song. Uh, what's up with the youth? That one though. Oh, yeah, yeah. What's up with the youth? So one where he's dancing on the Howard Stern. Howard Stern, yeah. Howard came out with like his ass out.

SPEAKER_06 13:18

Yeah, he was in the assless chaps and all like.

SPEAKER_04 13:20

He was like, We're gonna have this wicked guy. What does he do in a song? Sing? Yeah, he's sang what's up. Essentially, he's asking questions.

SPEAKER_06 13:28

Michael Jackson impersonation. Like he does a little dance thing with the shuffle. He's just like him too. Yeah. So the song sounds like.

SPEAKER_07 13:37

Oh yeah, cool, cool.

SPEAKER_06 13:39

Dude, I mean, I mean, so that song worked on the youth, I guess.

SPEAKER_07 13:43

The young black youth. You think he's laid? Dude, he has like bitches. Like, I could only imagine. Ain't he a joke, though? Does he realize he's a joke? He thinks he's serious. You say he's a joke, Joe. Do his six bitches dress up like angels? I don't know. Does that seem like a joke?

SPEAKER_06 14:01

I can't believe you asked if he got late. Like, I think all he has to say is be like, hey, Goonies. You know what I mean? To a woman over 40 and Lost Boys? Yeah. Yeah. It's that easy, huh? How many of the women you think had him as a poster when they grew up?

SPEAKER_07 14:16

It was a hot frog. Yeah. Like women would come over and like, you know, they'd be like, wow, he he was on the Goonies. Like they would say that. They'd play wow. How old is Corey Feldman? It's like 45, 50. It's an old bastard.

SPEAKER_04 14:29

Hey Siri. How old is Corey Feldman? Hey Siri. How old is Corey Feldman? 54.

SPEAKER_07 14:45

No way.

SPEAKER_04 14:47

Yeah, I don't know why she didn't speak to me. That pissed me off. Oh, maybe she did. I had it turned down.

SPEAKER_07 14:52

You know what that means. 71.

SPEAKER_04 14:55

What?

SPEAKER_07 14:55

Goonies for Goonies. I heard they were doing another Goonies. I think he's probably the only one saying that. I don't think they really are. I think most of those people are probably dead.

SPEAKER_03 15:04

Yeah?

SPEAKER_04 15:05

Corey's 50, I'd imagine. What's that girl? I wonder what she looks like. The blonde girl that everybody wanted to fuck that actually wasn't that hot once we got older. The hot one that was like, hey you guys.

SPEAKER_07 15:18

Baby Ruth.

SPEAKER_01 15:19

Baby Ruth.

SPEAKER_04 15:21

Baby Ruth. I think they should put the kid from uh Indiana Jones in with the Goonies. You talking about a little Chinese kid? Yeah. Foot them cookie. Oh, he was? Yeah. Short round. Oh, well, there you go. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 15:35

Same? I'm pretty sure that's a data was there. Great minds think of what? Booty traps. The booty traps. Booty traps. $50 bill. $50 bill.

SPEAKER_04 15:44

Dr.

SPEAKER_07 15:45

Jones. Dr. Jones. Dr. Jones, the Jewish are coming. I work with this guy who like he swears up at the like he just comes around and like gives us like negative facts about Jewish people. He's like. But look, but look, this nigga looks Jewish.

SPEAKER_08 16:05

Like as fuck. Looks self-hating. Literally. So he'll come over and be like, God doesn't own Israel.

SPEAKER_07 16:13

They killed him. Like he just says shit like that. And you know, double R. He gets, he uh, if he knows nothing else, he knows about the Lord. So like he gets really upset. He came over to me and was like, before I tell you, do you think Israel is God's country? I'm like, sure, man. I'm like, if this is Trump or if this is Trump's country, then that can get be God's, you know. Just keep the border separated, like I like them. And uh I really fumbled there. Zach.

SPEAKER_06 16:39

I'm listening to what I don't know what's uh the theory.

SPEAKER_04 16:42

I'm trying to pay Zach. I just remember I got money for Zach.

SPEAKER_07 16:44

Oh God, it's all gonna go in his gas tank. Fucking thank you, Zach. Thank you, buddy. Thank you. Fuck, man. Good show, man. It was a good show. I remember what it was like working for Joe. I wish I wish I was like, Oh, Jesus Christ. Lost my car and someone took my spot. Oh man, I love you. I love you, dude. Work with me whenever you want. Man, dude. Nah, man. It's assumed.

SPEAKER_04 17:07

Oh, dude. It's assumed a lot of places. If I'm going, you're going. Hell yeah, man. Man, fucking uh. Actually, somebody asked me where you were. Who? The night that I was uh backstage at the Baltimore Comedy Factory. A woman? No.

SPEAKER_07 17:22

Alright, well, it doesn't really matter.

SPEAKER_04 17:24

There was only one woman that I remember being there, and that was Maria.

SPEAKER_07 17:27

So Maria didn't ask for me? No.

SPEAKER_05 17:30

Sorry, I lied to you telling you she did, but a lot of time in the scene.

SPEAKER_04 17:34

I love Maria, man. I love Maria. She's so fun.

SPEAKER_07 17:38

Dude, I fucking uh I keep forgetting Bro's fucking thing. I'm I was watching one of the uh listening to one of the recent episodes we had and I brought him up. You like all of the videos. He does exercising videos. What's his fucking name? Funny as shit. Light skinned dude, Puerto Rican, does all the Puerto Rican videos. Like a comic? Yes, he is a comic. And it's not Mike Smith, but it's the other dude. I think I got it, sir. I might be. Puerto Rico. Puerto Rico! Oh he literally does shit like that.

SPEAKER_06 18:08

I'm talking about London.

SPEAKER_07 18:09

London London and Puerto Rican. Nah, you don't need that. No, I'm not talking about London. From Baltimore. It's um fuck, bro. Fuck. Because I just uh need about it. People need a breath. Zack a couple.

SPEAKER_04 18:30

I seen this woman in a comedy show on Sunday who had two tanks of oxygen.

SPEAKER_06 18:38

Oh.

SPEAKER_04 18:39

And I wanted to kill her. Is that wrong? Kill her how though? By laughing. Oh like it actually crossed my mind. I was like, I wonder if I can kill this lady.

SPEAKER_05 18:51

She can't breathe already. You know what I'm saying? If I get a good one, man, I'd be I'd definitely be famous then. Yeah. This motherfucker killed somebody.

SPEAKER_04 19:02

Did you find him? I'm curious who you're talking about. I found Woo-woo. I love Woo-woo. Woo-woo and I started around the same time.

SPEAKER_07 19:09

She's so hot. Yeah, you like her? Oh man. I love big uh big light-skinned woman. I'll tell her. Please do. She does the videos. She's on tour right now with uh Darren Fleet. But do you know who I'm talking about? She does the videos with him and they'll be working out together. She does videos with Is it Darren Fleet? No. The gay dude? No. I just literally can't remember that dude's name, but he has like the funniest internet videos. I mean, you know how like you say your friends do videos and you know you just because they're your friends, but I mean I watch all of his and I repost him because he's so goddamn.

SPEAKER_04 19:41

Dude, Alejandro has been on a fucking tear later. Yeah, dude.

SPEAKER_07 19:43

He's got some guts on fire too. He's been doing it for a minute, though.

SPEAKER_04 19:47

Yo, he is so his that fucking kindergarten shit is so funny. Yeah. Yeah, that shit's funny.

SPEAKER_06 19:54

Jamaican roommate too.

SPEAKER_04 19:55

Jamaican roommate's good. Yeah, I'm gonna try to do a collab with him, man, because he's fucking, he's on a roll. And I I got a whole bunch of uh things that Siri has helped me format. You know what I'm saying? Like just talking in, like I'll come up with a skit and an idea, or or you know what I mean, whatever. And if you talk to her, do you know it'll do this? Yeah, it'll not only dictate it, but yeah, you can make it organize it now. Yeah. I didn't know that. I'm old. I can't get on any dates.

SPEAKER_07 20:30

No, uh, I am back on the dating websites though. Which one?

SPEAKER_04 20:35

Blackpeoplemeet.com.

SPEAKER_07 20:36

Nah, you gotta stay off of there. There's like because I only want the white women that are on black people meet. Yeah. I'm back on uh Facebook dating, which is horrible. I just literally swipe. I don't even look who I'm swiping at. I just swipe and uh who's there is J dating? You literally shoot first dating. He's fucking lying. I don't know what that is.

SPEAKER_04 20:58

What is that, Zach? You're in a fucking Jewish dating site.

SPEAKER_07 21:01

Oh are you frequent that one?

SPEAKER_04 21:04

Do you frequent that one?

SPEAKER_06 21:06

No, no, usually no. Why not? Ju bros are hot. Yeah, but you can't communicate with them. Like nobody pays for the premium package, so you can't.

SPEAKER_04 21:23

Good, man. That was good. That was quick, buddy. Um that one fucked me up. So you just basically did you have that one loaded or did Yeah. Okay, good. We need past little notes, man. Till we get each other's timing. Me and him were getting pretty good at it.

SPEAKER_08 21:45

That's all fun, man.

SPEAKER_04 21:46

It's like speaking a different language though, you know what I mean? You get used to the World Cup? No, I have not. No. Nope. Do you give a fuck about it at all? Nope. No. How about you?

SPEAKER_07 21:58

Nah I'm not into that. Uh That's stupid fucking sport. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 22:05

I mean, that's obvious. You think I want to watch that much running? Like, it tires me.

SPEAKER_04 22:09

You know what I noticed? This is what I noticed. Everybody says that. Everybody says, those guys run up and down the field nonstop. They're the best athletes in the world. Blah, blah, blah. So because I was watching soccer and I was disproportionately high, I decided to watch one person. They don't run that fucking much.

SPEAKER_07 22:32

No. And it's a lot of like stopping. Yeah. The game's gonna be a big thing.

SPEAKER_04 22:35

They're because when the ball's not away from them, they're like kicking a hole in the field, like you used to do when you were in fucking minor league. You know what I'm saying? They're just milling around. The ball gets close to them, they expend a lot of energy. But then after that, they walk.

SPEAKER_07 22:48

Patrice O'Neill said it, man. Like the the the fucking best soccer player isn't like greater than like the worst basketball player. You know what I mean? That shit's fucking awful.

SPEAKER_04 22:57

Well, that's what my dad said. My dad said the M, the NBA or even the NCAA, basketball. And I played college basketball, and I'm gonna tell you right now, at the beginning of practice, every day we ran a mile and a half of sprints.

SPEAKER_07 23:15

Dude, yeah. I mean, we ran around, we had to run a hundred laps to get our jerseys. Like one down and back. Dude, they would set the clock.

SPEAKER_04 23:22

They would set the clock, the game clock in the, you know, because college, you actually have a decent sized gym. They would set the game clock at 30 minutes and put half, and this is when there were still like 50 people trying out. They would put 25 people on one end line, 25 people on the other end line, and they'd say, All right, you guys go on the zeros and you guys go in the 30s. If they're not out of your fucking way, run them over. So you got to do a whole suicide. You know what I'm saying? Like go to the foul line and then you're gonna do it. For 30 minutes. So you're doing 30 in 30 minutes.

SPEAKER_07 23:56

We had to do uh suicides in 28 seconds, like in the full gym. Yeah, yeah, we had to do them in 28 seconds if we didn't do them, we had to do them over again. And I was always the last one. I just I'm not fast. But I found it. It's John Dell.

SPEAKER_04 24:11

Oh, I like John Dell.

SPEAKER_07 24:12

Yeah, his video. Shout out to John Dale, his videos are funny as shit. I love John Dell. I definitely say that.

SPEAKER_04 24:16

Cute little guy, too, especially when he puts that little dreadlock, puts that little dreadlock wig on and acts like he's Jamaican. You ain't seen them videos.

SPEAKER_07 24:22

Yeah, so he's Puerto Rican. I think he is Puerto Rican.

SPEAKER_04 24:25

No, I think he's just a black dude.

SPEAKER_07 24:26

He's like he's also Puerto Rican, I think.

SPEAKER_04 24:28

Isn't he got some islands?

SPEAKER_07 24:29

He's done like some Puerto Rican TikToks.

SPEAKER_04 24:31

He's funny, man.

SPEAKER_07 24:32

Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_04 24:32

Yeah, he's internet funny for sure.

SPEAKER_07 24:34

Oh man, I mean that's I feel like that's the hardest to be because everyone's internet funny. That's right, man. That's right. People that aren't. Um, show shot some shit for him. Yeah, show's shooting a bunch of shit I've seen recently, yeah. He's working. Hell yeah, man. He's working. Showstopper.

SPEAKER_04 24:47

That motherfucker sweats too, boy.

SPEAKER_07 24:48

Yeah, bro. We need to get that nigga some white towels. We were sick.

SPEAKER_04 24:54

I told you my did I tell you my idea for merch? Don't say it out loud.

SPEAKER_07 24:58

I won't. Is it like just random shit?

SPEAKER_04 24:59

No, no, no. I didn't tell you my merch idea. Probably not. All right, let me write this down so I remember to tell you guys. Merch idea. I got this merch idea. You're gonna love it. T-shirts? Everybody does t-shirts. Right.

SPEAKER_07 25:10

Even people that are funny.

SPEAKER_04 25:12

Dude, Sean's new t-shirts are fucking sick. Sean Savoy has new t-shirts. Funny and makes t-shirts. Yeah, man, they're nice.

SPEAKER_07 25:19

Is that hard to do?

SPEAKER_04 25:20

Yo, he burned them up on fucking Saturday, too. Didn't he? Yeah, man.

SPEAKER_06 25:23

He had a good performance, right?

SPEAKER_04 25:25

Crushed, and then he broke out a box of t-shirts, and motherfuckers would buy them like hotcakes.

SPEAKER_06 25:29

That's awesome. It is great to hear that somebody sells t-shirts, but before they sell them the t-shirts. He crushed. That's the way to do it.

SPEAKER_04 25:39

He wouldn't have sold one t-shirt before the show, but after the show?

SPEAKER_00 25:44

Oh my god, he was to do to do that?

SPEAKER_07 25:55

Go to open mics. Comedy for 20 years. 20 years. How many open mics you think Sean Sword has done? 20 years. Oh my god. Probably can't count. That's what it takes, you um funny fucks.

SPEAKER_06 26:05

I don't know what you guys are doing right now. There's an intention whore out there. I just want to shout about it. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 26:11

They'll know we're talking about then. All right, tell me after. Yeah. All right. So um how about did you hear about LeBron leaving?

SPEAKER_07 26:19

Yeah, I seen that shit today. You hear about uh Malik Monk? No. Or uh fuck Malik Beasley. Malik Beasley. He was uh caught point shaven for like uh but he was like doing it betting, like betting on his own shit, dude. You can like, yeah, on himself and like on his team, like you can see it. But not against himself. I mean, probably. Like, I just know like there was one, it was like uh for him to get or for the team, I think. Maybe the team rebound stat had to be like uh over four and a half. And like you can see him like he's a point guard, he's like crashing every single board. He got like upset a couple times. You see him make shots, he's like he didn't get the last rebound he needed until like 0.3 seconds.

SPEAKER_04 27:05

Oh, so the dude had some kind of par made or something.

SPEAKER_07 27:07

Yep, just and just made it. He was like relieved they uh been investigating this nigga for a year, got indicted today. Damn, damn LeBron's league Lakers.

unknown 27:18

Damn.

SPEAKER_04 27:19

So him and Chauncey, Chauncey Billups.

SPEAKER_07 27:22

Dude, fucking Chauncey's not gonna be in 2K next year, and I'm so fucking he's on like every fucking all-star team. Yeah, he's good, man. Fuck.

SPEAKER_04 27:30

Yep, fucking betting, man.

SPEAKER_07 27:32

But LeBron.

SPEAKER_04 27:32

So where's he gonna go?

SPEAKER_07 27:34

People have been saying uh fucking Golden State. Golden State, that's what I heard. What do you think though? Like, I don't think like That's an old team. Yeah, yeah. Draymond is not a center. Not a center. Nope. Fucking uh, they got like role players. I wouldn't, if it were me, I would not take uh old LeBron because all the old fucking anybody who knows in the last two years, no old guys have got close to like winning a ring. You know what I mean? So I would go towards the younger player. I think the oldest player in the last two years to win a ring is um fucking not Isaiah Hartenstein. It's like a backup. He's like, he might not know it's fucking I can't remember his name, but it's like a backup who doesn't who didn't play. I'm sure. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So fucking, I would not pick up an old LeBron, and his cap value's so fucking high, dude. So you gotta trade Jimmy Butler.

SPEAKER_03 28:29

Fuck that.

SPEAKER_07 28:29

Kristol Perzingis, I think he still might be on our. He's fucking amazing.

SPEAKER_04 28:33

I think Jimmy Butler's a good basketball player, man.

SPEAKER_07 28:35

Dude, for a fucking old LeBron, I keep Jimmy any fucking day. Me too.

SPEAKER_04 28:38

I take it I take Jimmy Butler over LeBron right now.

SPEAKER_07 28:41

Yeah, right now, dude, he like why does he want to keep playing for another ring?

SPEAKER_04 28:45

We can do it with Dwayne Wade. The thing is, okay, it's like when Jordan went to the Wizards. Right, the only reason that made sense is because he was trying to teach a team that he was invested in. Right? So if LeBron were to do something like that, like for a but he ain't Jordan.

SPEAKER_07 29:04

Right. And what do you think about that? I've been getting a lot of that lately. Like, you've seen Jordan play, so you can say, like, you Jordan probably was a bum. You know what I'm saying? I'm sure he was LeBron wasn't. You know, he's great, but was he not? Like, are we gonna forget about like the time where he put a super team in Cleveland and they didn't even make it out like the first fucking round?

SPEAKER_04 29:24

You know what I mean? Like Jordan, Jordan was so great because it didn't matter who was with him. He wrote everybody around him became a superstar.

SPEAKER_07 29:32

Exactly, dude. I hate that shit, that argument between like Jordan and LeBron.

SPEAKER_04 29:36

Because I'm a plus, he would put the whole team on his shoulders if he needed to. He would get pissed off and stop passing the basketball and win the fucking game.

SPEAKER_07 29:45

You know who else would do that? Kobe, and he would go like 18 for 29. Yep. But fucking damn if they didn't win.

SPEAKER_04 29:52

Play hard on both ends of the court, though.

SPEAKER_07 29:53

Yeah, fuck that, dude. I hate that argument. LeBron, obviously, he's played for a long fucking time, and that's always gonna be my argument. If you fucking you put Bill Russell against a bunch of white men for years, what happens? He has the most rings ever. Bill Russell's not white? No. They don't consider Bill Russell fucking, you know, as great as you know anybody else anymore. You know what I mean? Yeah. For a good argument. For a good reason, but like don't say LeBron's great just because he's been here. I don't like the Wilt argument. I don't like any of that. He was playing against plumbers. And dude, his best move was from throwing it like fucking four or five feet over him.

SPEAKER_04 30:29

And he's racist. So he kissed my ass.

SPEAKER_07 30:31

I heard about that. He kissed my ass. No good nigger. Spitting on white people. The fuck?

unknown 30:37

God.

SPEAKER_07 30:38

What'd the white man do to him? Man, that's some how's the weather.

SPEAKER_04 30:41

I wish I had a soundbite of that.

SPEAKER_07 30:43

I might go back and grab one. It's fucking Mutin Yan. There's another.

SPEAKER_04 30:48

Shit. How about Kawhi? They say Kawhi's going back to the Raptors.

SPEAKER_07 30:53

I'll fuck with that. Yeah, I mean, I think Kawhi's a real boring player, but I like him.

SPEAKER_04 30:57

I think Kawhi, when he's healthy, is uh is a game changer.

SPEAKER_07 31:02

Well that's a better argument, like saying like if Joel and B was healthy, because he's never healthy. Right. So I think Kawhi's like, especially for that Toronto team. I forgot about all the mirrors. Like they want a chip, Giannis wants a chip. People were just talking about that recently. I don't think Giannis is super great for winning a chip. Just because of his lack of style doing it. Like, yeah, you can say, well, he doesn't need a bag. Well, he doesn't, but it doesn't look great. Why does everybody hate on Giannis a band? Because he runs to the basket. Soft? No, he just runs to the basket. I mean, they can't stop it, but I mean it's not right. He's not like, it's not like uh Amari Stademeyer was good, you know what I'm saying? He was dominant. Uh Hakeem Elias one, one of my favorite centers had crafty fucking his footwork. And if he drops 29 on you, it looks uh maze. It's not 29 like he dunked on you for fucking 20 points, you know what I'm saying? And fucking got eight layups on you and a fucking free throw.

SPEAKER_04 31:54

You know, so that turnaround that I Keem had late in his career was sad. Dude, nobody got touched.

SPEAKER_07 31:59

My favorite shot is a fadeaway. Fucking Kevin Gardner had fucking pulled up here. Like just the post fade. Dirk. I mean, oh my god, dude. The 2011, like, no greater ring was one to me than like the 2011, like Dirk getting being sick, you know, through the final.

SPEAKER_04 32:15

Like, dude, that's probably like the Jordan flu year.

SPEAKER_07 32:19

I've re-watched it, but I mean, fucking That was pretty sick too. That was a very fucking insane year.

SPEAKER_04 32:24

Um, how about uh what's up with the chick with the finger? Have you seen the meme with the fucking the white chick in the WMBA doing the finger to the other chick? It's everywhere.

SPEAKER_06 32:36

Yeah.

unknown 32:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 32:37

What's her name? Caitlin Clark? No, it's about Caitlin Clark, though. She's Dangela Reese. Yes, Angela. Angel Reese or whatever keeps doing to this to that girl.

SPEAKER_07 32:47

She sucks. Like Angel, Angel Reese sucks, man.

SPEAKER_04 32:50

Like she's terrible. Yeah, she's not that good, but she is a badass. I love her. I love her.

SPEAKER_07 32:56

She rips people's heads off. I love her in swimsuits. Yeah. I love her uh when she's, you know, doing what women are supposed to be doing, looking hot, not playing organized. Well, why do people try to kill Caitlin Clark all the time? I like Caitlin Clark. I think she's a hooper. People try to kill her. Because she's like fucking, I don't know, man, like a dominant white woman. Yeah. I think that's probably why. I like Kaitlin. I think you might be right.

SPEAKER_06 33:19

It's the same reason they used to hate on uh what's up, uh, the famous black hockey player that's so good. Superd Ward? I was just joking. I actually know a couple. I do too. Like whose first ballot?

SPEAKER_04 33:36

Alright, enough of sports. Did you see Supergirl? Uh-uh. Yeah, me neither.

SPEAKER_07 33:43

I'm not gonna watch it.

SPEAKER_04 33:44

I'm not either. But I had no intention of watching it ever. But this almost made me want to watch it. Wait a minute. Because they said it sucks so bad. Is it like the movie Superman but with a lot of questions?

SPEAKER_07 33:54

Is that what it is?

SPEAKER_04 33:55

A lot of whining.

SPEAKER_07 33:57

Why do I have to make the sun stop and make the world go back around?

SPEAKER_04 34:01

A lot of squealing when something scary happens. Yeah. Yeah, it flopped. So now I almost want to see it because they say it's so fucking bad you can't watch it.

SPEAKER_07 34:11

But like those movies aren't like bad for like, you know what I'm saying? The acting's not gonna be bad. Like, you might not enjoy it for how bad it is. You might like it like because you're not a comic guy. You know what I mean? Do you know supergirls like Origin? Um, no.

SPEAKER_01 34:27

Well, she was from uh a planet where they cooked and clean at um is a good one.

SPEAKER_04 34:40

Um, how about Shrek 5? Have y'all seen it? No.

SPEAKER_06 34:45

Does anybody make anything original? No, they're just remakes. We got Toy Story 5.

SPEAKER_04 34:51

Yo, Eddie Murphy is on that residual money, yo. Toy Story 5.

SPEAKER_05 34:56

No Shrek!

SPEAKER_07 34:56

Oh, yeah. Isn't Eddie Murphy the donkey? They probably don't even have Eddie come into the studio anymore. He calls in they just re-dubbed.

SPEAKER_06 35:06

People get recording studios built in their own place to record it. Yeah, man, that's crazy. As we said, a lot of them, they don't even cross over.

SPEAKER_04 35:13

Huh. Well, fuck me. Fuck me running. Yeah. I'll watch it. I didn't see Shrek four or three, I don't think. I think.

SPEAKER_02 35:22

I bet you can still catch up.

unknown 35:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 35:25

I bet the same plot happened.

SPEAKER_04 35:26

Next time it snows, I'll have a truck uh Shrek marathon.

SPEAKER_07 35:29

There you go.

SPEAKER_04 35:30

Stick something in my butt.

SPEAKER_07 35:33

Donkey. Don't it? Talk to so many white women that like intensely love Shrek. It's like disgusting.

SPEAKER_04 35:39

You watched Oz, right?

SPEAKER_07 35:41

I love Oz.

SPEAKER_04 35:42

Did you see the unedited version? No. Where the guy donkey punches the guy in the cell. And what uh They took it out, but I don't know when they took it out. When it originally aired on HBO. Must have been like season one then. The big one of the big uh Nazi guys takes one of the white bitches, one of the guys that wears makeup and shit, and he holds him down and he's fucking him in the ass, and he donkey punches him as he's coming, he punched reaches around, punches him in his stomach a couple times. Shit on him and cane. You seize up his muscles, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, it's a brutal scene. But later that same night.

SPEAKER_06 36:22

Is he called a donkey punch? Because you could do that to a donkey as well. I have no idea. Maybe.

SPEAKER_04 36:28

Donkey's got big dicks, man.

SPEAKER_07 36:30

So I've heard.

SPEAKER_04 36:31

Yeah. They got donkey dick canes. What? Where they dry it out. Yeah. And elephant dick canes, too.

SPEAKER_06 36:38

Oh, I was thinking like candy cane. I'm like, who wants to lick it? No, like you walk.

SPEAKER_04 36:42

If you wet it, it'll get it'll get gushy again.

unknown 36:45

Oh god.

SPEAKER_05 36:48

The bottom three or four inches of it get like a little bit of a little bit of a shit. That's not a good It just turns back into force. Yeah, you get it wet and you put it on like a schmuck.

SPEAKER_07 37:02

Wrap it around your neck and a schmock. Oh god.

SPEAKER_04 37:06

Yeah, but um, what was I saying about donkey dicks?

SPEAKER_07 37:09

Now you were saying the donkey, you were saying after that guy got fucked in the ass, he got punched in the kidney.

SPEAKER_04 37:14

Oh yeah. So they he donkey punches him. Yes, and then that same night he the uh he starts blowing him. Who the fucky? The gay, the the gay, the fucky the bitch of the prison, starts blowing the Nazi guy, and he like, you know, hey honey, and he puts something around his neck, like a towel around his neck, and he ends up fucking hanging him in his cell. And he gets away with it because they they thought they were doing auto-erotic asphyxiation. So the gay dude actually killed the big, you know, Nazi fucking burly guy in a cell. Fuck.

SPEAKER_07 37:50

I don't know if he came, but I'm about to.

SPEAKER_04 37:54

Alright. You ready to do some headlines? You ready? Yeah. Alright. This is a Huffington Post article. So you know it's gonna be good. It says, and I quote, My husband died abroad. As I boarded the plane home, a flight attendant's innocent comment broke me. How do you think he died, and what do you think she said?

SPEAKER_07 38:22

I think uh the person probably said, Hey ma'am, can you move your foot? And she just started crying, my husband died.

SPEAKER_06 38:29

You know how white women do. Zach? She's like, how was your vacation? Like, what is it's a flight attendant?

SPEAKER_04 38:35

Uh-huh. As she was getting on the plane and she broke down. She couldn't take it. I think she said, Welcome aboard.

SPEAKER_07 38:43

Or maybe she was like, ma'am, you're gonna have to be like, beat to death with a two by four or something. Maybe you're gonna have to be like, ma'am, you're gonna have to scoot up. This black child is gonna have to sit next to you. Maybe that's what it was.

SPEAKER_04 38:55

Time to fly high, or like her husband died from like a skydiving accident or something like that.

SPEAKER_06 39:00

Oh maybe like maybe he was Jewish and just like, would you like a kosher mail? Do what the kosher meal is like maybe it was uh autoerotic asphyxiation. Or maybe he died on maybe he died on a train, you know, and they were like, hey, the movie on this flight is gonna be Throw Mama from a train.

SPEAKER_01 39:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 39:19

She's like, what are the chances that today in first uh in first class we have uh collard greens and uh Big Mama, can you watch your arm? It's on fire.

SPEAKER_05 39:29

My husband died at a soul food restaurant.

SPEAKER_06 39:34

My husband's name was Ledea.

SPEAKER_04 39:41

All right, thank you. I knew that would be a fun one. Alright, you ready for the next one? Yeah. Alright. This is this is a good one. Seattle Pride Parade.

unknown 39:53

Oh boy.

SPEAKER_04 39:54

Pandemonium as nude marchers prance through the streets in front of children.

SPEAKER_07 40:00

It's nothing compared to what they're doing to Twitter. I didn't even uh to Twitter, Gay Pride was like two months ago, and they're fucking in the streets. Yeah? Dude, I don't know where at, but they're like, fuck it. Is that weed? No, there's a I have a weed pen was like Can't touch it? Hell yeah, man.

SPEAKER_06 40:16

Pass it around. It's no button. How's that number one? How's that you can't fuck in public, can you? Seattle Pride Parade pandemonium. Oh, you know, that time of month. Seattle.

SPEAKER_05 40:28

Seattle.

SPEAKER_06 40:28

He's like, where could you fuck in public? And I'm like, oh, the same place you can shit in public. Oh, okay. Then yeah.

SPEAKER_04 40:35

There's an app for San Francisco and for Seattle. Who's shitting? Where you can they map out human piles of shit.

SPEAKER_07 40:42

So you stay away from them. Imagine the fuck who's reporting.

SPEAKER_04 40:45

Another pile, 365. Hey, I'd report them if they gave me like 50 cents a report or something like that. I'd be looking for shit.

SPEAKER_02 40:52

Guess who got a hold of canned corn again? It's 5th Street. These homeless people on 5th Street. You want to stay away from there.

SPEAKER_04 40:59

Collar them and name them all numbers like 9147.

SPEAKER_06 41:04

Be careful if you're on Northeast Street today. There was a chili cook-off yesterday and the uh another Popeye reporter next to the Popeye's. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's always at the Popeye's.

SPEAKER_04 41:17

Man, I ate Popeye's chicken three times last week. Shit, bush. I got I got it figured out, man. I can get uh enough food to survive on for five dollars at Popeye's. Oh yeah. So I think that um this there's just this headline in itself was kind of funny because Seattle Pride Parade Pandemonium sounds like a show that I'd pay to see.

SPEAKER_05 41:39

You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_06 41:40

Sounds like a show you should have to pay to see.

SPEAKER_05 41:42

Yeah, Seattle Pride Pandemonium. Sunday, Sunday, Sunday.

SPEAKER_07 41:48

It's insane though. People walk around naked out there for like gay pride like month, but like, you know, black people can barely walk around during black history month.

SPEAKER_04 41:56

I think black people should walk around naked during Black Pistons. Draw some attention to the black strong.

SPEAKER_07 42:01

You didn't see what I did for Black History Month. What'd you do? Nothing. I went to work like a good white American does. Fucking get up and go to work.

SPEAKER_04 42:09

I love how in this in this headline, too, they write prants. Like they couldn't use any word for walk.

SPEAKER_05 42:14

You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_06 42:17

Sashade through the town.

SPEAKER_07 42:18

The hooligans were at it again. In front of children.

unknown 42:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 42:24

Yeah, but so they're naked in front of children. Who gives a fuck? I get naked right now. Do you care? No, but I'm not a child.

SPEAKER_04 42:32

Would a child care if they didn't weren't taught to care?

SPEAKER_06 42:35

Well, that's true.

SPEAKER_04 42:36

I feel like it's not really up to the child to care. I mean, it's just a dick or a pussy. I mean, unless it's a dick and a pussy, then you got some explaining to do.

SPEAKER_07 42:44

Yeah. See, but then the kids run around out there, you know what I'm saying? The kids are gonna get hard. Can't you have the kids hard?

SPEAKER_04 42:51

Well, it's okay if the kids are hard, but if the parents are hard around the kids, that's not cool. What's up with the youth, man? I don't know. They should they should shake dicks. All right. Have you seen this girl named uh all right, let me try to pronounce this thylene blinde.

SPEAKER_06 43:09

Uh no, but it definitely doesn't sound like you're saying it right.

SPEAKER_04 43:13

Thilid blindie. I think she's French. I'm look, I'm gonna show her to you. Thy blind.

SPEAKER_07 43:23

France was still with it.

SPEAKER_04 43:24

T-H-Y-L-A-O, Thilane, N-E. No D in there. Blind is B L O N D E A U. I think I'm saying it right. Look at this woman. Alright, so hopefully you guys aren't driving and look this woman up. She's kinda sexy. She's supposed to be the She's supposed to be the hottest She's supposed to be the hottest woman in the world, as according to France.

SPEAKER_07 44:00

But don't don't they like not brush her teeth and stuff?

SPEAKER_04 44:03

No, I think they brush her teeth, but I don't ha think they I think they don't show if they're on pets.

SPEAKER_07 44:07

She's alright, but she's like kind of like a black chick. They couldn't give it to like a full black chick, but she's kind of like a black chick. Are those her real lips? I don't know. Those are her real tits. Well no, she's kind of sexy, man. She's alright.

SPEAKER_04 44:20

She's like a white girl seven. Well she's off the market. Why? I don't fucking know. I don't research. I just read the headline. Oh, okay. I don't know.

SPEAKER_06 44:34

She married somebody or something.

SPEAKER_04 44:36

Maybe she's from a slave country. Somebody bought her. Who fucking knows? You don't know? Maybe the best way to get them. Best way to get the horse.

SPEAKER_07 44:44

Make them hot.

SPEAKER_04 44:44

Make them hot. Raise them up. You know, uh, what's that movie, Taken? Yeah. You ever seen that? Maybe she's one of them.

SPEAKER_06 44:52

She's like, I have a very special set of skills. I'm hot. No, not that part right now. Skills and can I play?

SPEAKER_04 45:00

I was thinking more about the more about the ones that were in the trailers getting fed heroin and getting fucked all day.

SPEAKER_06 45:06

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The heroes of the movie. Yes.

SPEAKER_05 45:09

So you're saying there are prettier women? God damn Moroccans.

SPEAKER_04 45:16

Alright. How much time are we done? It's 45 minutes. I am all. I will be glad to have my house back.

SPEAKER_07 45:26

Oh yeah, man. Be glad to get my shit working again.

SPEAKER_04 45:31

Yeah, your truck's still fucked up.

SPEAKER_07 45:32

I mean it's working. Like I just drive it like from work home.

SPEAKER_06 45:35

Yeah. Do you have a gustomation of how long?

SPEAKER_07 45:38

Nah.

SPEAKER_04 45:39

I kind of riding it out, staying here, there, everywhere. Yeah. If I was single, I wouldn't give a fuck. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Fuck it. As long as I can jerk off somewhere and take a shower.

SPEAKER_07 45:51

Hell yeah. You can do that in the Wild Wild parking lot.

SPEAKER_04 45:53

That's right. Port a potty at the fucking park parking rod, too. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_06 45:57

In the parking lot in your own car.

SPEAKER_04 45:59

You get all nice and sweaty.

SPEAKER_06 46:01

In your parking lot in somebody else's car. You know what I mean? Whoever leaves their door unlocked, really, is what it comes down to.

SPEAKER_04 46:09

Showers are nice though, man. When you start, you know what I'm saying? You gotta find a shower. My buddy's got one outside, so I can sleep sneak up there late at night, but it's only cold water. It's hot out there. Yeah, but my nipples be hard as shit. I like a cold shower.

SPEAKER_03 46:24

Yeah, me too.

SPEAKER_04 46:26

Alright, ready for the last one?

SPEAKER_07 46:28

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_04 46:29

All right. Seven surprising reasons you feel the urge to pee again right after going. What do you think they are?

SPEAKER_07 46:39

I don't know, man. Chlamydia. Uh-huh. Gonorrhea. Uh-huh. Syphilis. Uh-huh. That thing Magic Johnson got said he can't kick. Uh. It's for all the sports fans that are still here.

SPEAKER_05 46:55

Uh kind of any guesses, Zach. Y'all, is it how? Is he hitting all those? Is he like where you're saying? Oh, you were going, uh uh.

SPEAKER_02 47:01

I thought I was like, is he really four for four? I'm sure Joe didn't look up who the seven were. Hold on. Did you? Or I think we just never know, right? No, I looked them up.

SPEAKER_04 47:11

Whenever I do a list, I look because it we one night, he was like, fuck, and some whoever was on the show was like, what the fuck are you doing?

SPEAKER_06 47:18

Yeah, like he didn't give like it was like a multiple choice, and we didn't have any of the multiple fucking choices. It's gotta be like kidney failure.

SPEAKER_04 47:26

Um that's actually not too bad of a guess, but it's wrong. Over UTI is the first one. Oh, okay. A urinary tract infection. Second one is an overactive bladder.

SPEAKER_06 47:39

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 47:39

That uh that to me is pretty self-fucking explanatory. I would think I would have an overactive bladder rather than PM, right? The other one I can't see. It's called can't say it's called IC. Intersystetal cytesis.

SPEAKER_06 47:53

Oh, that.

SPEAKER_04 47:54

You know what that is?

SPEAKER_06 47:55

I got a cousin by the name. What?

SPEAKER_04 47:57

Yeah. So she gets in your pee hole? No, no. Post void residue residual urine. That means you got shit in the pipes. I think you're right. Yeah. You got a little cloggage. Pelvic floor dysfunction. Oh, that's for women. That's when their guts try fall out or pussy. Uh-huh. Anxiety?

SPEAKER_07 48:16

Really?

SPEAKER_04 48:18

Nothing to say about that?

SPEAKER_07 48:19

I don't got that. I'm a man's man.

SPEAKER_04 48:21

Yeah? Yeah. You ever got so scared that you peed a little?

SPEAKER_07 48:26

No.

SPEAKER_04 48:26

No? About nothing. Like a car accident or a fucking, you were getting ready to fall off of something, or you know what I mean, or whatever. Pete a little? No. I don't think I have either. Prostatitis.

SPEAKER_06 48:38

Prostatis.

SPEAKER_04 48:39

I think that's when your prostate.

SPEAKER_06 48:40

Prostate tits. Did you just say prostate tits?

SPEAKER_04 48:43

So I made another list. This is my seven. Seven surprising reasons you feel the urge to pee again right after going. Number one, fear.

SPEAKER_06 48:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 48:52

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 48:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 48:53

I think my list already makes more sense than theirs. Sex. Uh-huh. Yeah. Getting punched in the kidneys.

SPEAKER_06 48:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 49:00

Yeah. You're fucking old.

SPEAKER_06 49:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 49:03

Yeah. You always gotta pee when you're fucking old. You spit out too many babies out of that poon tang. Yeah. Bitches be having to get slings to hold their bladder up because their bladder puts pressure on what's the name? And then before you know it, they got a goddamn scent tarsel off a deer's leg living above their snatch. Liquor. Liquor sometimes makes you make you loose. Makes you a little loose in the bladder. Alzheimer's, you don't remember if you peed or not.

SPEAKER_06 49:31

Yeah, I guess like taking a muscle relaxer, maybe. Oh, that's a good one.

SPEAKER_04 49:34

I didn't think of that one. You take enough pills, you just pee your pants. Or being a little boy baby bitch bedwetter. That too. Number seven.

SPEAKER_06 49:45

Definitely. Putting a sounding rod, you know what I mean? If you let your girlfriend put a sounding rod in it, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 49:50

What's that?

SPEAKER_06 49:51

That's where they put the and then they hit it like ding, I guess.

SPEAKER_04 49:54

Like a tuning fork? Yeah. In your butt? No. In your peehole. Yeah. You put things in your peehole?

SPEAKER_06 49:59

No. But I've seen the shit. I tried it once with a girl. She was like, I was gonna use a Q-tip. And I was like, well, that sucks. And we're never like.

SPEAKER_07 50:06

Have you ever put anything in your peehole? He was saying he's dirty, but uh no, I'm not in that.

SPEAKER_04 50:11

I've only put one thing in my peehole, and that's to have a test. A doctor did it. That's what he was saying, yeah. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_06 50:17

No, no, that's not what I was saying. Uh, it was a bad joke. No, it was a real thing.

SPEAKER_04 50:22

Like she wanted to stick something in your peehole. A q-tip. Uh-right.

SPEAKER_06 50:25

That's just what they do. It's the equivalent of like a starter, like uh, you know what I mean? I don't know. I mean, we're gonna go let her stick like a flagpole in it. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_04 50:33

I mean, but what's the charge out of that? I don't get it. She liked it, or you wanted you to like it.

SPEAKER_06 50:38

She was like, let's see if you don't try this. And I was like, yeah, it's never.

SPEAKER_07 50:42

Whatever happened to good old up and down.

SPEAKER_04 50:44

I'm gonna try that tonight. I'm gonna try to stick a computer, see what it does for me.

SPEAKER_06 50:49

I wonder I didn't think it'd work, because you know what I mean? Like anytime I've ever like when you when you get a little bit of soap or shampoo in there, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_04 50:56

You don't jerk off with soap. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 50:58

You just jam soap in there, it stings. Yeah. What about the good old days of fucking, you know, sideways, up and down, front to back. It's how we do it. Until you like it. It's still the good days.

SPEAKER_06 51:10

You like vanilla.

SPEAKER_07 51:11

Yep. Missionary.

SPEAKER_06 51:12

Good old granola, don't look at me. Good old granola trail mix.

SPEAKER_07 51:16

Missionary, don't look at me. Reverse cowgirl. That's how I like it. After I come, let me see the crack of your ass. After I come, get back in the kitchen.

SPEAKER_05 51:26

Let me see the crack of your ass and the bat the side boob. That's all I want to say. Little side boob. After I come, don't ask me if I'm crying. I hate when that happens.

SPEAKER_06 51:36

It's raining outside. Get away from me. There's not the words I don't think. When you bust on it, like you're like, uh, whatever it may be. You're like, oh, I want to do the, you know, I want to make it a sandwich. It is like, oh, just hold me a while. I was like, uh, you know, this is this is the time like I've got life energy now. You know what I mean? I like this is motivated. I have the remote. If you ever come and you gotta hand with that. I'll be right back and make something else.

SPEAKER_07 52:08

If you ever come and you got a hand with that, dude, your mustache is on my fucking neck.

SPEAKER_04 52:15

I remember one time, man. I'm not gonna say his person's name, I almost just did. I was eating mushrooms and having sex. And for some reason, the ass looked like pity and had acne on it. Yeah. I don't know if it did or not, but it looked like it did, and I was like playing with the butt cheeks like it was play-doh and wax. For like a long time it didn't come. I forgot I was fucking a couple times. It was August too, so I was sweating my ass off. I just remembered that. Oh, you got any shows coming up, buddy?

SPEAKER_07 53:03

You want to add anything? Uh fucking this weekend for the 4th of July. I'll be at church satire. Uh, there's a hot mic. I gotta do karaoke. I'll be doing 10 minutes of stand-up comedy. At the church? At the church, man. They're doing karaoke to church. It's a karaoke comedy. It's like two things. It's like a show. Oh, that's cool. Oh yeah, man. The fucking hey, brother.

SPEAKER_04 53:24

Hey, man. That's what's up. How about you though, Zachariah Sitchens?

SPEAKER_06 53:28

Uh, thanks to Chris Pierce and Riley. I'll be uh I think it's like four shows on the 11th. Um Church three, it's Church of Satire and one somewhere else in Pennsylvania. Three? Four total. No, no, no. You say three. They're doing like a little festival. I think they're doing a festival thing. I just found out about it before we got here, like as we pulled in.

SPEAKER_07 53:49

He'll be doing guest routes on the festival. I'll be in the club. Guys.

SPEAKER_06 53:53

Jeez, I didn't know it was our festival. I tried to drop some.

SPEAKER_07 53:56

The Church of Satire festival?

SPEAKER_06 53:58

Huh? I guess. I don't know. I think, yeah, I think so.

SPEAKER_04 54:01

Huh. Good for them.

SPEAKER_06 54:02

Yeah, we were supposed to. I didn't even know about that. We're supposed to go up to PA and do this, some other show, and then I guess we'll talk to Ryan Grimes. And uh dropping names.

SPEAKER_07 54:14

Drop me a couple names. Drop names like you're gonna be able to do it.

SPEAKER_06 54:18

I have to give the date, but uh Chris and I, Chris Chris and I are gonna be back to New York for the RBL. Oh, yeah, that's cool.

SPEAKER_04 54:24

Um what is that on? How can people look watch that? Oh, they don't want to see his on YouTube.

SPEAKER_06 54:33

Yeah, just RBL. Yeah, RBL and RBL New York.

SPEAKER_08 54:37

That's what's if you skip 45 minutes in, you can see Zach sweating going to the bag. He has to go to the retard material.

SPEAKER_04 54:47

That's fucking great. I'm in North Carolina this weekend. Um nice. Hell yeah. So look it up. I can't remember what the place is called. Something market. It's fun. It's like a showcase slash mic slash tons of people. There's no there's not a lot of scene, so like all the comedians go to one place. You wanna see Jessa? I will see Jessa. Hell yeah. Uh Jacob, the guy I met this Asian kid, Jacob down, he's a funny dude, man. He's been doing it a little while. Um Mert. Me and Mert actually met him like the same time. Anyway, so that'll be fun. Um and after that, I got more shit, but I can't remember none of it. The best way to be, man. Fuck it. Is that it, is that? I got stuff in August of the bully. You got anything you got anything you wanna anybody wanna you want to tell the fine people of the world?

SPEAKER_06 55:44

You don't want me on doing that.

SPEAKER_03 55:47

Just tell them tell 'em have faith.

SPEAKER_06 55:50

What? To have faith?

SPEAKER_03 55:51

Yeah. Have faith in something.

SPEAKER_06 55:54

Yeah, have faith in something. They can manifest anything. They can manifest uh a deep v-neck t-shirt if they want. You know what I mean? Straight talking about it. They just can't manifest their way out of their daddy's pool house, but vampire. Bobbin for applesauce, baby. Bobbin for applesauce.

SPEAKER_05 56:12

Thank you guys. I love you guys.