LA’s Burning Again, Toothpaste Won’t Roll & We Just Graded Our Marriage?!

In this unfiltered episode of Plate & Ponder, Jen and Chris Fenton tackle the chaos that is Los Angeles right now — from the latest fire ripping through the city and the frustrating mistrial in the Palisades arson case to the ongoing crisis of homes still not being built. 

On a much lighter (and funnier) note, they obsess over their favorite Below Deck star, Chef Ben, swap hilarious stories about awkwardly pretending to remember people who clearly recognize you, and go full rant mode about modern toothpaste tubes that refuse to be rolled all the way empty. 

The couple also grades each other (on a scale of 1–10) across key marriage traits and shares some real talk about raising kids — specifically, the importance of remembering exactly who you were at that age. 

It’s the perfect blend of serious LA issues and relatable empty-nester chaos.

#PlateAndPonder #EmptyNesting #LAFires #PalisadesFire #BelowDeck #ChefBen #MarriageGoals #ToothpasteProblems #EmptyNestLife #ParentingRealTalk #JenAndChrisFenton

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Alright. I got my little Stranger Things music on. Why? Because Kaylee comes home from Costa Rica tomorrow. You are listening to Plate and Ponder Empty Nesting with Jen and Chris Fenton. But I'm saying Jen Fenton first because quite frankly, that's really most of what people want to hear about.

SPEAKER_02 0:23

I don't think that's true.

SPEAKER_00 0:24

It is true. It is true. I'm willing to admit it. Please follow, download, engage, enjoy. We are in 73 nations around the world, including Ukraine. We're picking up a few more downloads out of Ukraine too. So hopefully that means the I guess that the bomb shelters have plenty of um cell service. And entertainment. And entertainment. But anyway, we are excited. It is uh World Cup night here. Uh the United States is playing its final game in the first round of this uh extravaganza that has overtaken um the city of Los Angeles along with like warehouse fires, and um as I found out they uh can't con or they didn't find the guy guilty that lit the one fire or whatever today, I guess is the Palisades fire? Yeah, jury's deadlocked.

SPEAKER_01 1:14

How are they deadlocked?

SPEAKER_00 1:15

Well, because um he Well, what are the facts?

SPEAKER_01 1:17

Is it is it too attenu? Oh, that actually sounds quite good. Um is it too attenuated to actually make a correlation between his uh what was it, Jul January one lighting of a match to the fires? What's what's the deal? Do you know the I I haven't read it. I've been at work all day, so I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 1:34

Well, it's interesting. The thing just popped up. So and and what we try to do here at Plate and Ponder Empty Nesting is be timeless and not timely because we want people to go back and listen to some of their favorite hits someday and just go, oh, this is still relevant to me. But since we are talking about a timely concept here, um the fires, which is sort of interesting because we've had this warehouse fire that's been burning for a long time.

SPEAKER_01 1:57

Sweet, how is that? So now you're making it timely, not timeless. You're talking about a new one.

SPEAKER_00 2:01

I'm making it timely because you asked the question.

SPEAKER_01 2:03

So you're contradicting yourself.

SPEAKER_00 2:04

I I am. I'm totally contradicting myself, but don't I do that all the time?

SPEAKER_01 2:08

Well, I'm confused. Are we doing timeless or timely?

SPEAKER_00 2:10

We're gonna talk about timely right now on a timeless episode. Um, but yes, so it came out tonight that the jury is deadlocked. Okay. Um, it's also happening when there's a warehouse fire and reminding everybody that we don't have our S together here in this city.

SPEAKER_01 2:27

Is it because of Karen Basura? It is I say that because of Spencer Pratt.

SPEAKER_00 2:33

Karen Basura is it's it's just it is really funny, the the Basura. Anyway, um so they have the jury's deadlocked, and I think one of the problems with this whole thing is that this guy, I think, is probably guilty of lighting the fire on New Year's Eve, right?

SPEAKER_01 2:54

But right, that's what I that's what I thought I read.

SPEAKER_00 2:56

Yeah, and but although they still I I apparently it's just very circumstantial. He was up there at the right time, he might have been smoking a cigarette or not, hard to tell. Hard to tell whether he was exactly at the place where it started. It's a lot of uh what I was reading was circumstantial about all that. But here's the problem is that that fire that he lit had technically wasn't the fire, he didn't like the fire uh that burned down the Palisades. He lit a fire that the fire department never put out because they were ordered to leave the premises before they fully put out the fire. So the defense attorneys are saying it's the fire department's fault? Yeah, get him guilty for the first fire, but you guys should have put the darn thing out, and he's not responsible for the second fire that happened a week later. And you could argue, even though that sounds so weird and he is an arsonist and he committed arseny, yeah, maybe he isn't technically guilty of the second fire. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 4:00

But okay, here's a question. If you're driving a car, right, and you stop short, right? Because the person in front of you stops short, but the person behind you is tailing you going too quickly, which I often do. Thankfully, my car has those automatic like brake sensors, um, and the car behind you hits you, and then you ricochet into the car in front of you, you still crashed into the car in front of you. So isn't it your insurance that covers the car accident, not the guy that hit you? Because the guy that hit you would be responsible for your car, but not the car in front of you.

SPEAKER_00 4:33

Yeah, that's true. Do you see what I'm saying? Well, I well, that's I mean, not that I'm a legal expert, but for sure the person that runs into somebody in front of them is typically the one that's at fault. And then you could argue maybe if the guy was just par, you know, like was not moving, and the car caused him to move faster, not by his own engine, but by the engine of the other car. Like physics. Then it was literally the car that hit him in the back that's at fault, not the car that drove into him.

SPEAKER_01 5:06

But maybe I would love somebody to um uh to chime in and to give us some information. Maybe they could DM you.

SPEAKER_00 5:14

We don't have any callers and we're not live right now.

SPEAKER_01 5:17

I know, but maybe people can DM you. They're not gonna DM me because I'm private.

SPEAKER_00 5:20

Well, we could call uh oh. We could call a friend. No, somebody just um watched my Laura Trump interview today.

SPEAKER_01 5:29

Was that a humble brag?

SPEAKER_00 5:31

No, well, for half of the people that listened to this, that probably was not a brag. And for the other half, they maybe thought it was a brag, but um it just aired. Uh and um was it good? I um from what I watched, I was like very impressed. I actually did a pretty decent job.

SPEAKER_01 5:48

I was uh less ums.

SPEAKER_00 5:50

Um uh no. I no, I'd actually I actually have been getting better at the ums and the other.

SPEAKER_01 5:57

No, you have, and I think when you're so you go through this period, sometimes when you don't do media for a while, I think the ums and the likes and maybe the pauses are more frequent than you would hope. But once you get into your groove and you're doing it regularly, which you have been doing lately, I think you're very well versed and very articulate.

SPEAKER_00 6:16

Well, I also am I'm a ridiculous uh reviewer of my stuff and and try to really critique the heck out of it so that I don't make the same mistakes.

SPEAKER_01 6:26

Do you do that with the podcast too?

SPEAKER_00 6:28

Um, I have done, I mean, the podcasts are longer. A full podcast, I typically don't review that much. I really review the four to five minute television hits because those are so quick and you got to get out so much, and you really need to think um quickly. And one one of the tricks, and I'll give this to our listeners if you um do media hits also. I listen and forget about whether you like them or not. Okay, just don't don't think about that, but think about why I do it. I listened to Ben Shapiro at He speaks so quickly, yes, at 1.25. Okay, so he already speaks at like 1.25 to 1.5, and then I crank it up a little more, and I listen to him for 10 minutes and I get that cadence in my head before I go on television.

SPEAKER_01 7:22

Oh, really? I didn't know you did that.

SPEAKER_00 7:24

Hit, hit, hit, hit, hit.

SPEAKER_01 7:25

Like do you have notes?

SPEAKER_00 7:26

Do I have notes?

SPEAKER_01 7:28

Like, do you do you have written notes or any notes on your computer, or is it really just No, I know what I want to talk about in my head, but the problem is that we don't they don't pre-interview you.

SPEAKER_00 7:38

I mean, well, some shows will pre-interview you, so you have an idea of what they want to ask, but for most most shows, you really don't know what they're gonna ask. So if I have a particular thing I want to pitch, like I try to bring it all back to this made in America film, Bad Counselors, right? But um, say Laura Trump wanted to talk about China and our problems with China, so it was a little difficult to um go directly to bad counselors or directly to sort of the production in the US kind of thing, because even China, we didn't do a lot of production in China, but we did a lot of catering to the narrative and the content to get the films into China, so it's slightly different. Does that throw you? No, it doesn't throw me because I'm very used to now the fact that no one asks the questions that I really want them to ask to make it really easy to pitch when I'm trying to pitch. So you just have to think about wing it. You have to wing it. Now, I will tell you, I this is another thing that if you watch media hits, and I I've just been doing this a long time. I'm not saying like I'm the Michael Jordan of this, it's just you do get better as you do it a lot. But there are people, you could watch CNBC, you'll see a five-minute hit with somebody where they're asking them questions, and they're obviously on there to talk about something specific, and they will full-blown just ignore the question and go. Not even hear the question, they will go straight into what they're pitching in it, and you'll see the host go, gosh, not another one of these people. And and it's just it's sort of funny. Now, politicians do that mainly because they don't want to answer the question, but no, I think there's an art form to the slide. Uh there is, but you typically are looking for it from a politician, so you just know it's coming. Whereas uh like an expert or somebody that's supposed to be, you know, being on there to answer questions that are tough from the journalist so we can be educated, like you're not as on guard. But if you're looking for are they actually answering the question? No, I don't think they did. Um, anyway. So uh I digress, but what's crazy is that this guy might get off, and uh it's just gonna be another mark on this whole situation in terms of um LA leadership just not getting the job done.

SPEAKER_01 10:05

Well, I would imagine people whose uh you know homes burned down, neighborhoods perished. This news is probably gonna be heartbreak because you you almost want finality to it. Right? Like you I know we don't want to accuse an innocent man, I know we don't want to put an innocent man in jail, but I think this people want some sort of retribution. People want I don't know, they they want this to be wrapped up finally. It's just been such a long process. I mean, look at the insurance, look at rebuilding, it's all so slow that this would have been a nice finality, and yet it's extended.

SPEAKER_00 10:44

Well, the part that to me I thought was really telling, and I am once again, I have no legal degree, and I'm sort of an idiot trying to look like I'm have something interesting to say about this.

SPEAKER_01 10:56

I do have a legal degree.

SPEAKER_00 10:57

You do have a legal degree, so that that's why I'm gonna bring it up. The what he was um what they were trying to convict him of in this in in this courtroom was sort of telling because they didn't go after manslaughter charges, right? There were 12 people that died in a fire. If they really thought he was responsible for this particular fire that killed the 12 people, not the fire before, but the the fire that they were trying to nail him on, wouldn't they have actually gone after manslaughter charges too? Because if if they find him guilty of being at uh the arsonist who started this fire, then he would also be guilty of the people that died in the fire itself.

SPEAKER_01 11:45

Maybe that was again to attenuated, they could go straight for the destruction of property, they could go to arson, they could go to you know negligence. That those were easier claims to prove. Maybe the manslaughter again, because it was again, I keep using the word attenuated, but the January 1st fire wasn't exactly the s the the the reason that the Palisades fire happened, right?

SPEAKER_02 12:12

Right.

SPEAKER_01 12:12

It wasn't my point. Right. It wasn't just the domino. So that was probably a challenge, and they realized that, so they went after charges that they thought would be easier to prove in court. It's kind of like the Diddy case. I don't know why prosecution, I guess some of the charges in the Diddy case seemed they seemed strange, they seemed a little out there. I thought that maybe the prosecution would have gone for some other things. I mean, like the sex trafficking. I don't really know. Was it really sex trafficking?

SPEAKER_00 12:44

Owning 25% of the global market of baby oil.

SPEAKER_01 12:47

Well, I mean, hey, that's a monopoly, and and he can do that, but I think that there were other things. There was, you know, sexual abuse, there was, I think, some rape in there, there was some drug use and and things like that.

SPEAKER_00 12:58

There was Justin Bieber.

SPEAKER_01 12:59

I I don't maybe there was child, uh, I don't know, child abuse. I I don't know, but it feels like there are probably some other charges that they could have gone after that they didn't. Instead, they went after sex trafficking. So I I don't know. But I haven't read the facts. So this is really me just like spitballing.

SPEAKER_00 13:15

So we're just we're just spitballing for our our audience.

SPEAKER_01 13:18

They're looking to us for like it might it might just be three people, so who knows?

SPEAKER_00 13:23

I will say though, that the idea of okay, it's a little sketch that he was involved with the second fire that burned everybody down, you know, burned people, uh all these houses down and killed these people. It's a little sketch that we can find him guilty of that. So instead of going after manslaughter, which is really severe, and we'd have to tie it all to that original fire and that it's all like linked together. Let's go after something that's less severe. Yet those less severe things still ride on the fact that it had to have been, it has to be him that is responsible for the second fire.

SPEAKER_01 14:00

The catalyst of the fire.

SPEAKER_00 14:01

Which is almost like you either go for it or not, because it's still the same tie-in, right? I would think.

SPEAKER_01 14:05

But anyway, let's know what song just popped in my head. After the fire.

SPEAKER_00 14:10

No the fire still burns. No, no, what?

SPEAKER_01 14:13

Billy Joel. We didn't start the fire. Leonard burns time. Okay, anyways.

SPEAKER_00 14:19

All right, so look, why don't we talk about something that we actually can talk about educatedly rather than just speculating? Okay, although speculating is fun nowadays. Like you gotta admit, it seems like everybody speculates.

SPEAKER_01 14:30

I feel like everybody speculates right now. Okay, what I want to talk about, something happened to us yesterday. And I hope the person isn't listening that this happened too.

SPEAKER_00 14:40

If he is listening, maybe it's a lesson to him, but then it makes me feel a little bad about it. But like I it will just mean the next time I see him, he'll actually say his name.

SPEAKER_01 14:51

Okay, so we were walking the dog like we do, and we were walking uh along the strand, and we walked into town last night, and as we were walking, we heard somebody yell Fenton. So of course we turned around, and a very nice person came up to us and started talking. Oh, hey, how you doing? So great to see you. Haven't seen you in a while. How are the kids? And now, you know, I I have no idea who the person is, but I'm I'm kind of acting, oh my god, so great to see you again.

SPEAKER_00 15:17

No, the first thing I did was.

SPEAKER_01 15:18

Oh, the first thing you did was say, Oh, this is my wife Jennifer.

SPEAKER_00 15:20

Well, he's like, Oh, you do you not recognize me? And I go, No, I just I you got your helmet on, like it's hard to like hard to recognize you. And I thought it I thought he would use that as the opportunity to say, yeah, no, it's been a while. Yeah, Chris, you know, whatever his name is, right? But that's what I don't know. And then I go, Oh, this is my wife Jen. And you come over and you're like, I'm like, hi, I'm Jen.

SPEAKER_01 15:48

Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.

SPEAKER_00 15:49

He didn't say his name.

SPEAKER_01 15:50

No.

SPEAKER_00 15:50

And then we talked for a little bit. Well, and then I was like, Oh, hey, um, how are the kids? You know, like not knowing if he had kids or not, just hoping to throw out a couple things. Um, oh, you still living, you know, in the area. He's like, Yeah, El Segundo. I was like, I know, and then I'm thinking, and then I'm like, wait, I know about five, I know five people in El Segundo. Like, who are they? Like, and then um, you know, and then uh I oh and oh oh like still big in soccer, whatever, thinking maybe is club soccer of some sort or something. He's like, Yeah, we're going to watch some soccer. And I was like, Oh, World Cup. Wait, that didn't give me a clue. Like, literally, I threw out every like trick in the book to try to get my brain either to trigger who this was or to at least have him say something like his kid's name, where I would be like, Oh, okay, now I know who it is.

SPEAKER_01 16:47

Oh, I'm going to meet Dylan at you know, Sharky, something like that.

SPEAKER_00 16:52

Not a single hint, five straight minutes of talking to this guy.

SPEAKER_01 16:57

And well, then I look at you as we're walking away and we're out of here, his hearing, and I was like, Who who was that? And you look at me and you're like, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 17:07

I felt so bad because like I literally normally I'm really good at getting all the tricks out where eventually it either triggers my brain, yeah, or he says the name. Like, cause I'm notorious and people sometimes call me out on it, but I'm if I don't totally recognize somebody or I recognize somebody, but I'm I'm not sure they're gonna remember my name, I'm immediately like, hey man, John, good to see you. It's been so long. Chris Fenton. And usually John will be like, dude, I know who you are. Why would you say that? I was like, you know, it's been like 10 years, I just figured you wouldn't know me. It like, you know, remember because I'm bad at that too. And he's like, No, I know who you are. I'm like, and then you'll catch up after that awkwardness. But it's way better than walking up to somebody and then just wondering, do they know who you are or not?

SPEAKER_01 17:56

Like, I did we miss anything? Was there anything that we left on the table that we should have done to figure out who this who this nice human was?

SPEAKER_00 18:06

I don't know. I I'm still I'm still amazed that I can't remember who it is even now.

SPEAKER_01 18:13

Maybe it's hey, like when was the last time we saw each other? Maybe that because he said it's been a while, so maybe we should have asked a follow-up question.

SPEAKER_00 18:26

He so was like fentanyl, like out of nowhere. Like I was like, okay, this dude really knows me.

SPEAKER_01 18:35

Maybe he's seen you on TV.

SPEAKER_00 18:36

He almost ran over me on uh like on his electric bike, too, and he had the helmet on and everything. Oh man, it was just oh, it wasn't um I feel like it was a fail from us.

SPEAKER_01 18:48

I mean, we're we were very helmet on that they give like um the people on below deck when they don't do a great job on we are watching that season, yes, with Captain Jason and when one of the crew members does an eh job during during the charter, they get a mirrored bike helmet that they have to wear out when the crew goes to party at night after uh after a short charter.

SPEAKER_00 19:10

I just gotta say, my I'm I'm like so intrigued by Chef Ben. I just I don't know what to do about it.

SPEAKER_01 19:16

Like So do you remember we actually saw Chef Ben? And this is okay, so it's so funny. My sister got married at the Bel Air Hotel, and literally during the ceremony, Chef Ben walked like past the courtyard and into the bar, and you and I both noticed him, but of course we were standing beside our, you know, our brother-in-law and my sister, and we couldn't do anything about it, but our eyes like bulged up because we both knew what we both saw. And now, I mean, we watch him on Bravo and he's been off for a little bit. Now he's back on. Chef Ben seems like a great chef. He seems like a fun guy to hang out with, maybe like 50% of the time. And the other 50% of the time, I think maybe he's gone off the deep end.

SPEAKER_00 20:03

Yeah, no, he's he just seems well, I I said it last night. It seems like the kind of guy where like 50% of the time you're just like, dude, I am so glad I'm friends with this guy. It's so great. He's so salty and fun and just crazy. And then the other 50% of the time, you're just going, Oh my god, I gotta get out of this room with this dude. Like, this is not who I want to be with, like hanging out with. He's gonna get us in a fight in this bar, like he's a mess.

SPEAKER_01 20:32

He's like But he's got such he's got a funny accent and he's got a very, very witty humor. He does.

SPEAKER_00 20:39

It's so witty.

SPEAKER_01 20:40

He's got like a cackly laugh. It's funny.

SPEAKER_00 20:42

He's a good chef. He's a really good chef. Very, very um, I mean, he he sort of follows what you and is the last season of the bear, so it's quite appropriate. But in the bear, like these people are so uh I think so, but they're so particular and so anal required. It's an art form, yeah. About the art form of of making great food.

SPEAKER_01 21:02

I'm not like that when I cook.

SPEAKER_00 21:04

I think you are. Your food is really good.

SPEAKER_01 21:06

No, no, but I'm not like crazy neurotic and like super into it. I think I'm pretty cool.

SPEAKER_00 21:12

Uh well, you're very cool.

SPEAKER_01 21:14

Um to ten of one to ten.

SPEAKER_00 21:18

Oh, oh, you mean just overall as a as a wife?

SPEAKER_01 21:22

No, no, no, no, no. As a as a like somebody who cooks in the household.

SPEAKER_00 21:26

I'm gonna say you are No, like realistic.

SPEAKER_01 21:28

Don't you don't need to be like, oh, you're 13. Like, no, like realistic.

SPEAKER_00 21:32

Okay, I'm gonna go with I'm decent. I'm if I could have a professional chef that could make me anything, that would be a 10.

SPEAKER_01 21:39

Sure.

SPEAKER_00 21:40

To you and your cooking and how much I enjoy it. And it's healthy and it's low salt for you. I'm gonna go, I'm gonna say you're a solid eight, maybe higher.

SPEAKER_01 21:49

I I was gonna say six. I think you're I think you're being too nice.

SPEAKER_00 21:52

Okay, well, how am I as a dishwasher?

SPEAKER_01 21:54

You're good, right?

SPEAKER_00 21:55

I mean you're really good.

SPEAKER_01 21:56

I think I think you are a solid, I'm gonna give you an eight on that one. Except here's what drives me absolutely crazy. You load the dishes in the front, not the back of the machine. So when I put a coffee mug, let's say, in the dishwasher on the top shelf, I pull out the shelf, I put the coffee all the way in back. So I load back to forward. You load forward back. I don't like that.

SPEAKER_00 22:25

Um you know what I'm talking about. But isn't that how they taught you to wipe your butt too? Like always. Okay, like forward back.

SPEAKER_01 22:32

But for toothpaste, here's an example. Do you squeeze the toothpaste?

SPEAKER_00 22:34

You're not gonna jump in that one.

SPEAKER_01 22:36

Totally ignoring. Um for toothpaste, do you squeeze the top or do you squeeze it from the bottom? I bet you squeeze it from the top. I bet you do. Yeah. The way you load the dishwasher would lead me to believe that you squeeze from the top and then you finally work your way back.

SPEAKER_00 22:52

Well, I used to, and then you'd roll it, but now they don't now they make it out of like a cheap plastic or something. You can't roll it and get all those last particles of the toothpaste out. But in the old days, my dad, my dad, I remember, was like the greatest toothpaste roller ever, because it was like in this uh like steel, stainless steel or tin foil type of um packaging, and you rolled it, and then he even had like a like some sort of a stick that went into the rolling of the toothpaste where you could roll it super tight and get every ounce of toothpaste out.

SPEAKER_01 23:30

You know what? Your dad has some interesting gadgets. He's got the glove.

SPEAKER_00 23:34

Oh, I told somebody about the Dairy Queen glove today. And um, they want to cast him in one of our movies because they're like, that is crazy. I I mean it's definitely creative character because we're making that movie that's sort of like cocoon. Yeah, and uh I was like, oh my god, my dad is 83. He probably is like Wilford Brimley age or whatever. Um but yeah, that Dairy Queen glove people love. But the um, yeah, the the extra tight roll of toothpaste uh like roller thing. By the way, why was toothpaste ever put into a toothpaste tube like that? Why wasn't it just like uh no idea? You are going off the deep end on this one. Why wouldn't it just be like a peanut butter container that you just put your toothbrush in and that's so gross.

SPEAKER_01 24:21

Like, what if you share? I don't want your yuck germs in my toothpaste.

SPEAKER_00 24:26

Yeah, but doesn't everybody rub their like thing against the top of the toothpaste anyway?

SPEAKER_01 24:31

Well, you have your own toothpaste and I have mine.

SPEAKER_00 24:34

It's not like you like hold it over like by an inch. It's always like yup, like that, and then there's some goop around it.

SPEAKER_01 24:40

We both have our own toothpaste.

SPEAKER_00 24:42

Maybe there's a reason. We do. We have our own flannel for a face, pajamas, toothbrush, reality in a case.

SPEAKER_01 24:48

So uh you know what? You actually sent me something, and I think we should talk about it. So this morning you sent me something from Mike Foster, and uh, I believe it's a substack that you get. Is it weekly? Is it daily? What is it?

SPEAKER_00 25:04

Yeah, it comes, I I think it comes like a couple times a week, just randomly. It was like one of these things I didn't subscribe to, but then I started reading it and I was like, oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:12

And we brought him up a few times. Yeah, he actually has some really interesting articles.

SPEAKER_00 25:16

Lokesmo is another guy, like the uh influence, um impressive influence and um impactful.

SPEAKER_01 25:23

Okay, well, let's go back to the one today. So this Substack was I asked my wife to grade me from one to ten, and here's how it went. And he did this exercise with his wife, and you and I both sort of said to ourselves, you know what, this could be an interesting thing to talk about. But I of course said to you, we we can't just have a generalization like rate me one to ten. There has to be sort of questions that go into it and categories.

SPEAKER_00 25:48

Let me ask, do you have some questions?

SPEAKER_01 25:49

I do.

SPEAKER_00 25:50

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 25:50

I do. What do you? I mean, come on, I'm I'm resourceful.

SPEAKER_00 25:53

Do I answer them or do I pretend to be on a five-minute TV hit and just get my points out?

SPEAKER_01 25:58

No, I think you should answer them.

SPEAKER_00 25:59

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 26:00

Okay, so and and I'm happy to answer these questions as well. Um I I think that you can go first because why not? So can you share your anxieties, frustrations, or embarrassing thoughts with me? Uh, do I hold this information gently or do I or do you find yourself censoring and like wearing a kind of a mask around me on a scale of one to ten?

SPEAKER_00 26:24

I would say that uh I a hundred percent pretty much tell you everything. And for the most part, I mean, if if I do something stupid or get us into a stupid pickle or whatever, that pickle that I got us into will come back to haunt me years later multiple times. But I've never told you something like, you know, I have this secret fetish for Karen Basura. Like, and you would be like, I'm glad you were open to me about that. Thank you for being that way. Like, you would be that, and you wouldn't you wouldn't bring it up at dinner with the Brodkins and go, by the way, he has a hots for Karen Basura. Well, you did have the Hots for for what and what Trump Pocahontas. But yes, Elizabeth Warren. I always thought she would be sort of a cool grandmother to have.

SPEAKER_01 27:20

Okay, so on a scale of one to ten, do you what do you give me?

SPEAKER_00 27:24

Um I'm gonna give you as somebody I can confide in. I'm gonna say, I'm gonna give you a nine, I guess.

SPEAKER_01 27:30

I think the only, and I would probably give you uh a nine or ten too. I think if you see the only variable is you do have ADD, and if you're not listening to me, I think it could go in one ear and out the next, and I could be like, no, Chris, I just like I really just shared something with you. And you're like, oh, I wasn't listening. So that's why I'm gonna give you a nine, not a ten. I want to just qualify your nine for me. I think that when it comes to like telling me something embarrassing, the one thing is like I laugh out of discomfort. So if you told me that you were, I don't know, like at a dinner.

SPEAKER_00 28:07

Wait a minute, can we repeat the last minute? I wasn't listening. Shout out to ADD.

SPEAKER_01 28:15

All right, so like if you if you were at a dinner and you tripped and fell, and that's super embarrassing. I actually think if you told me I might laugh at you. I'm sorry. Like when the kids would fall, I would laugh at them.

SPEAKER_00 28:28

If I tripped and fell, you would laugh.

SPEAKER_01 28:32

I'm laughing now. Um I have an issue. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_00 28:37

Well, is it an uncomfortable? Wait, I'm trying to think. Like, no, there you do have that.

SPEAKER_01 28:42

Um I have an uncomfortable laugh.

SPEAKER_00 28:44

Yeah, but you also have that ability to laugh um at things that normally would would um create sympathy from somebody else, right? Like a mom, like if something like that happened to me or the kids, yeah, I could see you laughing. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 29:01

Right. Like maybe I don't get a nine for that.

SPEAKER_00 29:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:04

Um, okay. Here's another one. Uh when a disagreement happens, do we work together against the problem or do we treat each other like the enemy?

SPEAKER_02 29:18

Hmm.

SPEAKER_00 29:20

Well, I I mean it depends on like the environment we're in. Like I would say if there was if there's a if there were like a lot of crazy things happening at the same time, and then we had a problem, I think you know, it's a little more complicated than like say if a problem just occurred right now. I think we would probably figure out how to work it out. I mean, I would say, I mean, to be honest, like there were times where I think we had problems and we actually went and saw some people that helped us out, right?

SPEAKER_01 29:51

Like uh a therapist?

SPEAKER_00 29:52

Is that the word you're looking for? Yeah, well, I don't know if that if everybody refers to them as therapists or not, but like, yeah, I mean, we've also counselors. Um, we've also w worked with um Kaylee Fenton sometimes to help us.

SPEAKER_01 30:04

She's a very good family therapist.

SPEAKER_00 30:05

She actually will help um translate what dad is trying to tell mom and what mom is hearing that's incorrect, or vice versa.

SPEAKER_01 30:13

Okay, I'm so so what would you rate us?

SPEAKER_00 30:16

I would rate us, um, I would rate us there were but you're higher than me. I would rate us that there were certain times in our 23 years together.

SPEAKER_01 30:26

Well, we've been together 26, actually, married 26 years.

SPEAKER_00 30:29

26 years together. There were certain times where I would give us like maybe a four or five.

SPEAKER_01 30:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:34

I would say for the most part, we're probably in the eight, eight to nine area.

SPEAKER_01 30:41

Except I'm gonna give another. Yeah, no, we should. Except I'm gonna give one uh variable.

SPEAKER_00 30:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:46

It tends to be when the kids come to us and they ask us a question, and you're like, oh, well, when I was younger, I didn't have to eat any fruits and vegetables. And I'm like, Chris, you can't say that to a kid. Like, we we sometimes take polar opposite sides. Like with Dylan moving into his apartment, there was something that happened. You're like, oh, well, when I was living in the apartment, I didn't have furniture, I slept on the floor. I'm like, you can't sleep on the floor, Chris. Like you have to have a bed.

SPEAKER_00 31:09

Yeah, I mean, I think my only defense in that, if there is a defense, because I will lean on you being the right one here, but there's a lot of times where I think sometimes you will, as a mom, really trying to keep the kids on the the right path and the discipline and all that stuff, that you may forget a little bit of what you were like or I was like at that age, right? So sometimes because I remember everything from my childhood, including first and last names, and if that guy that we ran into the other day was somebody that I met in grammar school, I would have known everything about him for sure. So I I remember those days, and I can literally think about okay, Dylan just did X. Did I did it? Did I did I not ecstasy? I'm just saying Dylan did blank, right? Um did I do blank at that age? Oh, I actually did blank plus blank, which was sort of blank on steroids. So maybe I should give him a little forgiveness and sort of talk about how I'm gonna be able to do that.

SPEAKER_01 32:13

Right, but if I'm spinning because I'm trying to get his furniture situation in California when it's Montreal that he's living, and when I'm spinning, it would be awesome if you took my side.

SPEAKER_00 32:25

I take your side a lot. You do, I do take your side a lot, and and um I apologize when I don't sometimes too when I know that you are right. And then I think there's sometimes where I don't take your side, and you actually self-reflect and go, oh, you know what, he and I'm just saying this is in your head because I haven't really heard you say it all that much, but you might go, Oh, he's actually right.

SPEAKER_01 32:48

I every once in a while I will say it and I make some sort of proclamation like, Chris, please listen to me, because I know you have ADD and you're not always listening. Please note that I am saying you are right. This is one of the few times you will hear me say it, but I'm saying you are right. So I give you that credit. I mean, not always, but I I do give you that credit.

SPEAKER_02 33:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:10

Um, okay.

SPEAKER_00 33:11

And this is the last one because we're gonna wrap it up because we we promise we're not gonna board bore people. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 33:17

Uh, is the effort balanced like daily tax? I'd give us both a 10. I think we both balance.

SPEAKER_00 33:24

Oh, 100%. I both have a big thing. And we're very complimentary. Like I don't know, as you say, how to boil water and I don't let you touch the dishes. No, after I've cooked. Yeah, so yeah, you know, um I make the bed in the morning, even though I hate making the bed, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. And sometimes I love when you're not here and I don't have to make the bed, or I'm on a business trip. I hate making the bed, but I make the bed.

SPEAKER_01 33:51

I know, and sometimes I'll remake it without telling you.

SPEAKER_00 33:54

Well, okay. Anyway, on the But I give us a 10. Um, but I I think let's let's put more of these questions together because I think these are really fun to do, and we should probably do them with um maybe the Fletchers or the Broadkins or the Cyphers or somebody else on one of these shows too, because um we got to have some guests on because uh not only do you brighten up the day when we do these shows together, because uh people look for you um over Chris Fenton, especially my souls. But on top of it, it is fun to banter with some other people. So not um so anyway, we are gonna watch the uh USA game, Go America, go USA. Um rooting hard for you. Um we are excited about uh Plate and Pondering the next episode, hopefully not a full week from now, but we'll we'll see how it goes. And um let me find some what what music are we gonna play here? Like I want to do Doc of the Bay. Um and we just want to thank you for listening to Plate and Ponder Empty Nesting with Jen and Chris Fenton. We're in 73 nations around the world. We're looking for number 74, but honestly, with Ukraine being our final one, that's sort of an interesting one. So that's a good pull. It is a good pull. So until next time, please follow, download, engage. Oh, and by the way, we keep getting DMs and emails about people that want to be on the show. So keep them coming. We'll figure it out and we'll make it fun. Um, until next time, thank you so much. Oh, and go pre buy your tickets to bad counselors coming out July 22nd. It's the summer of badassy. Or for some people who like Jackass, the movie, it's the summer of badass.

SPEAKER_02 35:33

Bye.