The Joy Experiment (How Finding Joy Can Help You Change Careers)

Episode 31: What if you could stop focusing on escaping where you are and start moving towards something that genuinely lights you up? In this episode, Career Change coach Dana Stevens makes the case for why joy is not just a nice thing to think about but one of the most practically useful tools in the career change process. 

In this episode you will learn:

• Why escaping what you do not want is never quite enough, and what changes when you have a vision of where you are going instead
• What the Joy Experiment is, and why the only rule is curiosity rather than pressure
• Why you do not have to wait for things to change before you start having more joy in your life

Connect with Dana:

Website: https://www.danastevens.com/workwithme
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dana_stevens_coach/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/danastevens1/
Free Coaching Consultation: https://calendly.com/danastevens/initial-coaching-chat

If this episode resonated, follow The Career Change Studio and share it with someone who’s feeling stuck in their career.

And if you’re ready to design a working life that truly fits your needs and lifestyle, book a free clarity call at https://calendly.com/danastevens/initial-coaching-chat

Special thanks to @Lou_Greenaway_Music for the piano composition and performance.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello, how are you doing today? This is going to be a fun episode today because it's going to all be about joy. And the reason I want to talk to you about it this week is actually prompted by a couple of things that happened recently. One is that a few weeks ago I had this day where almost every client or prospective client that I spoke to was telling me the same thing. They were telling me that they didn't feel joy in their lives anymore, that they were stuck in the grind of their jobs, and it was really starting to affect everything. And because they didn't feel joy at work, they weren't enjoying it, at the end of the day, they were completely exhausted and just collapsing on the sofa with nothing left. And that meant that they didn't know what brought them joy outside of work either, right? They'd lost touch with who they were and what lights them up. And the fact that they kept using the same word, this word about joy, really like struck a chord with me and made me think, hmm, that feels important to talk about. And the other reason I want to focus on joy is because last week I was talking about the mental health cost of staying stuck in the wrong job. And I think when you're really aware of how bad something feels, it can be so easy to get fixated on just escaping, doing anything to get away from where you are now. And that can really lead you to a sense of panic, really, like panic applying for different jobs, just trying to take anything to get some distance from where you are now. And that can start to feel like your only option, you know, like the only thing you can do is take this big scary leap into the unknown. But there is another way to move forward. And part of that is about joy, right? Because when you focus on what you want more of, it can be the antidote, right? It turns the question from not just how do I get away from here, but into something different, like where do I actually want to go? How do I want to live? How could I create a better life? And these are completely different and much more useful questions to be asking. So let's get into it today and talk about joyful things for a change, okay? So I want to start by making the case for why focusing on joy is not just a nice thing to do, but is actually one of the most practically useful things you can do when you're trying to make a change. When you're really unhappy in work, it's so natural to focus on what you want to get away from, right? That job that's draining you, the culture that doesn't fit, that Sunday evening dread, that awareness of what isn't working can be really, really useful information, like I talked about last week, and I do stand by that. But if that's all you ever focus on, something starts to happen. The motivation to change becomes entirely about escaping the bad thing rather than moving towards something better. And when escaping is the only driver, the unknown can start to feel pretty terrifying. Because if you don't have a clear picture of where you're going, any change feels like a leap into the dark. And the fear of that leap can sometimes stop you from moving or getting started at all. And what can start to change things is beginning to build a vision of where you're headed, trying to get clarity, a clearer and clearer picture of the life and the work that you're moving towards, that helps you see a path from where you are now to over there, right? And it starts to feel less like this a leap that you're trying to take off a scary cliff and more like a bridge, something you can walk across deliberately one step at a time. And a key part of building that vision is being able to identify what will bring you joy, not just in your work, but in your life. Because when joy becomes part of the destination you're moving towards, the motivation to make changes starts to shift. You're no longer just trying to escape, you're moving forwards with intention towards a life that genuinely lights you up, and that can feel very, very different. It can feel exciting, fun even rather than terrifying, possible rather than overwhelming. And that's why we start here. Not because joy is a luxury or an afterthought, but because it's the foundation of a destination that's worth moving towards. Now, before I go further, I do just want to say something because some of you, maybe you, might have just listened to me say focus on joy, and a big part of you might have just gone, oh god. Or worse, you might have felt this like I don't know, like a blankness or something, like you don't even know how to handle that question right now. Because for some people, and maybe that's you, that question, what brings you joy, might really be genuinely super hard for you to answer. And firstly, let me just say that that's okay. It's not that there's anything wrong with you, or that you're broken, or that you're a lost cause. It's probably just because you've been running on empty for so long, right? That work has been taking everything and leaving nothing, and joy has started to feel like something that other people have. Something that requires energy and headspace that you don't currently possess. And you might even be among the many people who've got so far away from joy that you genuinely don't even know what you enjoy anymore. You spent so long just getting through the week, surviving your job, managing the exhaustion, that the parts of yourself that used to know what felt good have kind of gone a bit quiet, you've lost touch with them, and that's okay. That's what I want you to know. It's okay if that's where you are. The important thing to know is that this isn't a permanent state. This is just a temporary place where you are right now, and knowing that you're here, being aware that you're currently here, is useful. Because if you don't know what brings you joy, then you can recognize that that can be a really useful starting point. It's not something to be embarrassed about or worried about, it's just a thing that you can start to get curious about. And another thing I want to say is that you really don't have to feel joyful right now to start this process of trying to find joy. I know that sounds like a little bit of a meta thing to say, but I'm just going to repeat it because I think some people feel like that they're a lost cause. People say that to me all the time. Am I a lost cause? Am I too far gone? Can you help me? And I always say it's fine if you're not feeling joyful, you're not feeling optimistic, you're not feeling hopeful. That is the very reason to start this process of self-discovery, finding out more to help you move forwards. You don't have to be in a good place or feeling optimistic or have your life together. You just have to be willing to start asking yourself the question. You have to just notice that you do want more joy in your life in the future. That is enough to begin with. So let's start asking that question, right? What brings you joy? Think about it, sit with it, go for a walk and think about it, write write it down in a journal or a notebook, just roll it over in your mind when you want to commute, whatever it is. And I want to say, if when I say that question, what brings you joy? the answer is I don't know, that's fine. You can actually start somewhere else. You can start with this instead. Maybe what used to bring you joy? What used to make you happy? Go back. Think about times in your life when you felt genuinely good. Not just okay, not just managing, not surviving, not coping, but actually felt good, alive yourself. What were you doing? Where were you? Who were you with? You might have to go quite far back, and that's fine. Maybe it was something creative, maybe it was something physical, maybe it was a particular kind of work you used to do, or a project that genuinely absorbed you, or a role you had years ago before things got complicated. Maybe it was something completely outside of work, something you used to do just for the pleasure of it, before life got busier and it quietly dropped off the list. Maybe you have to go back to the school version of you, right? You might have to right go back to Charlton, that's okay too. And it can be worth thinking about why joy might have become harder to access to, again, without judgment, just with curiosity. Because often there's a really understandable reason. Maybe you've had children and spent the last several years, I don't know, keeping them alive. That's hard and healthy and happy, and look, that's important and worthwhile, but it's not always particularly joyful for you if you're juggling lots of other things, right? Maybe you've been caring for someone else, a family member, a parent. Maybe you've been so focused on your career, on keeping things together professionally, that you stopped making time for things that were just for you. Or maybe you just simply got out of the habit, which happens much more easily than we think, and is nothing to feel bad about, right? So make a list. What used to feel good. Is there anything on that list that you'd like to revisit? Something you've been meaning to get back to, something that felt like you when you did it. And if looking backwards doesn't help, right, maybe because you feel like you didn't have it before, or it just you can't access it that way, try looking around you. Are there things your friends or colleagues or neighbours do that seem to bring them joy? Things you see and notice and think, oh, that looks good. Even if you immediately follow it with, oh, but that's not really me, or I wouldn't know where to start, or that's not for someone like me. Those reactions in themselves are worth paying attention to. Right? What if it could be you? What if it could be the sort of thing the future you do? What about something you've always wanted to try when you were younger, never got round to? Is it too late? Is it really? Or is that another story? Right? What would you be willing to give a go? What would you try if the only rule was that you were allowed to be a complete beginner? And you didn't have to be any good at all, you were just gonna try by being a beginner at it. And here's what I want to suggest. What if you didn't have to know ahead of time what is going to bring you joy in this next chapter of your life? What if instead of trying to figure it out before you start, you decided to let yourself embark on what I like to call a joy experiment. And the only rule is that you approach it with curiosity rather than pressure. You're not allowed to put pressure on yourself, right? You can let yourself try things without commitment, without needing this thing you're about to try to be the thing, without attaching your whole future happiness to whether any one particular activity works out. You're just simply trying stuff, experimenting, noticing, seeing what happens, gathering information about yourself in an enjoyable, fun way. What if you can find the joy and enjoyment in this process? Right? That's a fun idea. And it doesn't have to be one thing, it could be many things. Small things that add up, different kinds of joy, maybe in different areas of your life, at different times, for different reasons. And whatever you discover, it gets to be completely personal to you. It doesn't have to make sense to anyone else, it doesn't have to fit anyone else's idea of what a joyful or meaningful life looks like, just has to feel right to you. Maybe for you, it's finding work that has a tangible and immediate impact on someone else's day, and being able to see that impact directly rather than through, I don't know, several layers of corporate distance. Maybe for you it's about making time for the garden, actually cultivating it the way you want to, rather than just trying to keep it under control. Maybe it's embracing outdoor swimming or cooking from scratch a few times a week with the music on, properly enjoying the process rather than just feeding people. For me, one of the things that brings me real joy is getting out into nature. Now I know that works for lots of people, but specifically for me, there's a lake up in the forest near me. And maybe if you follow me on Instagram, you might have seen me post videos from up there. And I remember during COVID feeling so content, getting out there way more often than I had before, getting such simple joy from being near the lake, walking or jogging through the trees, hearing the birds, seeing the seasons change around me in the trees and the flowers and the nature. And I remember thinking at the time, I want this in my life. I want this connection with nature, these simple moments in my days, in my weeks, not just stuck in an office all day, every day, regardless of the weather, or commuting when I'm not in the office, or being in my house because it's too late at night when I get home. And that is this one joyful thing that I keep coming back to. And I really try and make time to go up there regularly. And it has a really special meaning for me because feeling joyful there meant that I felt like myself there. And because of that, it's where I went frequently, you know, when I was first transitioning in my career, when I was wrestling with what to do next, it was while walking there I decided to retrain as a coach, you know, take the leap, do it. It was while on a run there that I decided I was actually going to quit my job. And even now, when I'm thinking about my business goals or decisions, I regularly go there. Allow myself to feel connected to the nature, to the water, to the birds that were always there. Allow myself to find the joy in the moments of just being, to feel like me again. And that feels like it's a big part of me living the life that I want to. And I see the changes I've made in my life and career as successful, partly because they mean I get to create and enjoy these moments regularly. And that's just one example, right? There are loads of other things that bring me joy that I have made sure I've incorporated into this new life that I'm living, the way I'm living now. Right? There are the big things like travel, you know, is such a huge part of who I am. And when I feel like myself and something that brings me genuine joy on so many levels, and I folded it into how I want to live my life. So much so that I'm always planning my next trip or multiple trips, right? As is usually the case. I'm usually planning multiple ones at once. And this has impacted how I curate and set up my life and how I've set up my business. And then in small ways, even more recently, I've been trying to make time for things, more things that I used to do, love doing before I had kids. I really consciously was thinking about oh, when I had more headspace and time just for me, and I wasn't always focused on work or the kids or what needed to be done in the house, what did I used to love doing? And I remembered, God, remember those days where I could have a lion and read and read the newspaper in bed. Now I don't get a lion anymore. That doesn't happen. But I've started buying a physical newspaper again at the weekend and trying to take some time to sit and read it. Read articles that I wouldn't normally read because they don't come up in my algorithm, but they're there in the newspaper, right? Just taking in different information, reading more books before bed instead of scrolling on my phone, putting my headphones on and trying to listen to a whole album instead of scrolling through podcasts or playlists, things like that. Remember those things? Listening to a whole album. Again, just finding joy in simple things, things that make you feel like you, the music that makes you feel like you is a great way to start accessing that. So, what is it for you? What's your thing? Or many things that you want more of. And if you don't know yet, why not decide today that you're gonna allow yourself the time and the space to find that out? Now I do want to connect this back to the career change work because a joy experiment is not just a lovely thing to do in its own right, although it is that, of course, it's also one of the most useful things you can do to start getting clearer on what you want your next chapter to look like. Here's why. Because maybe you haven't paid attention to yourself, listened to yourself, paid attention to what lights you up for a really long time, and starting to gather information about yourself that you couldn't get any other way is so useful. You start to notice patterns, the kinds of activities that give you energy rather than depleting it, right? The kinds of experiences that make you feel most like you, the things that make time disappear. You know, some of my clients call it getting into a flow state, right? Maybe things you love doing that, you know, you're so absorbed in them. The moments when you think, yes, more of this, please. And that information is incredibly useful for figuring out what you want your working life to look like. Because it starts to tell you things about your values, your strengths, the kind of environment you thrive in, the kind of impact you want to have. You know, and sometimes what you discover by letting yourself take part in a joy experiment points directly to a career direction. You might discover that you love the creativity and problem solving of cooking from scratch, and then you might start thinking differently about food or hospitality or nutrition or something you'd never connected or would never have connected to work before. You know, you might find real joy in helping a friend navigate a difficult situation. So that might help you recognise something about the kind of work that would be really fulfilling for you. Or you might come alive when you're outside in nature and start to question why your working life has been so entirely removed from it. And look, I'm not saying that what brings you joy will always point directly to a career. Sometimes joy is just joy, and that's still worthwhile discovering, right? Something that you want more of in your life, and that matters too. You might decide that you want to create a career that gives you more space for joy, more of a delineation between work and home life so that you can, you know, live more of your joyful moments outside of work. That's important too, right? Because also the thing to think about when the rest of your life is fuller and richer, when you're not relying on your job to be the sole source of anything good, the pressure on the career question becomes a bit lighter, actually. You're not trying to find that one thing that does everything, solves everything in your whole life. Instead, you're building a life that works, and work is one part of that. So don't dismiss what you discover, right? Sit with it, get curious about it, ask yourself whether any of it could be relevant to the direction you're moving in, because sometimes the things we do just for joy turn out to be the things we are most naturally good at. And that's worth knowing as well. And just something else I want you to consider you don't have to wait for your career to change before you start having more joy in your life. You can start now, intentionally, on purpose, creating these lovely small pockets of joy wherever you can in your life now. Not as a consolation prize for not having changed things yet, but as an act of taking yourself seriously, right now, as evidence to yourself that you are someone who prioritizes what makes them feel good, and as a way of building up that momentum and energy that you're gonna need to make bigger changes, right? Because here's what I do know when you start creating more joy in your life, even in small ways, even before anything else has changed, your relationship to the future starts to shift because you're no longer just surviving until things get better, you're already in motion. Already becoming the person who makes room for what matters. And that person, the one who started showing up for herself in small ways, is the one who finds it so much easier to make the big changes to. So this week I want to give you something really simple to do, and the only rule as always for the joy experiment is curiosity rather than pressure. So ask yourself what is one small, achievable, joyful thing I can do this week, that I want to do this week. Not a big thing, not a life-changing thing, one small thing that would feel genuinely good, that would give you a moment of something that is just for you, that would add a little bit more of what lights you up more than you would in an ordinary week. And then do it. Not perfectly, not for long, not with a plan for what it means, just do it and notice how it feels. This is the beginning of a joy experiment. So if any of this has resonated with you and you want to start doing the bigger work of figuring out what you want your next chapter to look like, the link to book a free consultation is in the show notes. Come and have a conversation with me. I promise you, even that can be enjoyable, right? It's not scary. I'm very friendly. Bring your list of what used to bring you joy, if you know what it is, or bring the blank page. If that's where you are, that's okay, right? Either is a perfectly good place to start. And it's worth saying that when people usually embark on the career change process with me, because it's structured, because I'm there every step of the way holding their hand, they often tell me how it's such a relief that they're finally like on that path, but that it's enjoyable as well, that they get to finally start spending time asking themselves what they want and what they need, and it can be a genuinely enjoyable, empowering process. I promise. Okay. So thank you so much for listening. I hope thinking about joy this week is gonna bring you some moments of enjoyment. And you know, feel free to reach out in my DMs on Instagram and yeah, let me know what you've been doing. I'd love to know what you've been doing, what your moments of joy are. All right, that's it. I will see you next week. Bye for now.