Mom, You Were Right

In the wake of Mother’s Day, Ariana + Kimberly explore the theme of generational faith. What starts as a conversation around Deuteronomy 6:5–9 naturally turns into a heartfelt reflection on mothers—and the powerful, lasting role they play in shaping faith across generations.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:05

I feel like every time like before we record an after, it's like the best conversation. And I think part of it is because we're trying to stay within like the boundaries of like what we've outlined, but sometimes we gotta just like really flow.

SPEAKER_03 0:19

Yeah. Yeah. Just like record our conversation exactly what we started why we started this.

SPEAKER_02 0:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 0:25

I have said that for about 10 different things. I'm like, that's exactly why we started this. And every time I say it, it's a different thing.

SPEAKER_02 0:31

Yeah. Well, I mean, really just comes down to because we like to talk. And when we talk, just all kinds of things come up that normally don't come out. Like it's different when I'm talking to, I don't know, like Jordan or obviously my son. There's just like different topics. Like we relate differently, maybe because we're women, we're wives, we love Jesus.

SPEAKER_03 0:52

I mean this in all um humility, but I think a lot of it does have to do with like we probably have similar IQs because there's a way that we can banter. That yes, that we pick up. It's like a yeah, a frequency. Yeah, or like a flow state, you know, where we can go back and forth.

SPEAKER_02 1:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:12

Because sometimes you talk to people and then you have to like, they're like, what do you mean?

SPEAKER_02 1:16

Kind of explain it a little bit. And a lot of times when you're talking, I get excited about something that you're talking about.

SPEAKER_03 1:23

And so and it triggers something, and then you go here and go there. Ping, ping. Yeah. I love that. Well, welcome to Through It. Welcome to Through It with Kimberly and with Ariana. Let's see if people pick up on who. There's that Bay Mom podcast that I listened to. I still need to listen to that. One of the guys always does that. There's always the same two guys that host it. And he always says that. Like he'll be like, Welcome to Bay Mom with Marty So and so. He always introduces the other person. I think it's so funny.

SPEAKER_02 1:54

Threw it back.

SPEAKER_03 1:55

So I stole it and I just tried to do it. I feel like we do have distinctively different voices though.

SPEAKER_02 2:02

Totally. Yeah. So we'll see, you faithful listeners, who's speaking right now. And who's who's speaking right now? Yeah. Well, we were bantering as we normally do before we hit record, and we kind of just want to keep that going. We were just talking about, um, I don't know, with Mother's Day. By the time this comes out, it would have already passed because this comes out on a Tuesday, and Mother's Day is Sunday. So we're just being uh reminiscent of some of our childhood stories. And I don't know, feel like I was kind of a horrible teenager.

SPEAKER_03 2:39

Do you think you were? No, I mean, I was not the best. I was not the best, but I think that in uh when I look back, there are things I should have done wrong and I could have been better. But I'll be right back. Considering the circumstances, yeah, it should have been worse.

SPEAKER_02 2:58

Yeah, I I I agree. I agree. And not to say that like pointing fingers in any way, but like I have moments where I'm like, I I could say this. I was an outstanding student. Like, I was a great student. I could say that. And if there is anything that like was really drilled into my brother and I as kids, was that like education was like a a weapon. Yeah. Like you have to be equipped by being educated. And so that was something that was like drilled into us. Like not going to college, I don't even know if I realized that wasn't an option, to be honest. Like, even my graduating class, which is this is unusual for like American compared to American public schools, because I went to a department of defense school, 100% of my class graduated. There was not one single dropout. Is that it is that uncommon, you think? That is uncommon. Because either for I think for the states, yeah, I think that is like very uncommon, especially these days. Yeah. So like 100% of my school, unless I guess you're like in some uppity upper class town.

SPEAKER_03 4:08

I guess there's arguments there where why that would happen too. Yeah. Right. Right, right, right. Um, I don't know what to do. If you're looking at adolescence, if picture adolescence as a pie graph. Pie chart? Piegraph. Yeah, same thing. And pie chart, I mean. So you have this circle. Uh-huh. Education or being a good student probably carries the majority of that weight.

unknown 4:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 4:37

So if you're thinking about a pie chart of like what a good quote unquote good teenager, a good adolescent is your life. Most probably three quarters of that is. Are you are you a good student? Then three quarters of this says you're a good teenager. Yeah. You know what's interesting?

SPEAKER_02 4:53

Because I'm like thinking about what this is like so reflecting my bias, because even as I'm like, well, that's your life. When you're a kid, your job is to be a student, you know. Like, I guess even with adults, like, what's your job? And that kind of is like a lot of times all-encompassing for like how people choose to like what's your identity totally is like your job for a lot of people. And for kids, it's like you're a student. Um, and so I almost feel like I felt like I was good long as I was a good student. And so then it I almost use that as an excuse to do all the other things that I did wrong. I'm like, well, long as I'm a good student, I can go and do X, Y, and Z and Rebo in that way because I'm a good student. So no one could say anything. I feel like that was actually an excuse I used.

SPEAKER_03 5:43

Did so that was the excuse just for you, or did it work with your parents?

SPEAKER_02 5:49

No, it didn't work because I got my butt beat. I should be laughing at that. Yeah, I mean it's worth laughing at. In hindsight, you know. I'm like, I feel like I was grounded for half my teenage years too. Yeah, me too. I would just do what I did.

SPEAKER_03 6:04

When I lived with my dad, I was grounded all the time. And I don't know why. I don't feel like I ever did anything. I I bet even if we called my dad right now, he would be like, You were such a good kid, you never did anything wrong. But you felt like in your in your memory, you're grounded for most of it. I was just not allowed to do as much as my friends.

SPEAKER_02 6:23

That's fair. Because I think so from I feel like, and maybe this is not fair to say, that the reason why I got in trouble a lot, too, maybe from my dad, was because there were so many rules. Yeah. And it's impossible to keep all those rules. Look at this from this is why we were given Jesus.

SPEAKER_03 6:41

Yeah. I'm like, it's impossible that has got the sun because we could never get all the rules right.

SPEAKER_02 6:48

The laws just expose us as all of our near cheap worms that we are, yeah. Cannot do it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:57

So good.

SPEAKER_02 6:58

Yeah. But like teenagers really like like hormones, you know, just discovering yourself. Yeah. All those things. I'm like, I can't. And honestly, like the number one rule that I would break is just coming home late.

SPEAKER_03 7:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:12

Did you have a curve view?

SPEAKER_03 7:14

Um I can't remember. I my adolescents were so wild. Like when you think about high school only being four years, I think I lived part of that, part of that with my dad and part of it with my mom. And then I moved out when I was 17. So just not a lot of not very many years. Yeah. So it felt like such a long time though. It did. It did. Yeah. I can't even believe when I think about it, it's like I know you say it like that. Maybe four years.

SPEAKER_02 7:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:47

And that goes by like this. So quick.

SPEAKER_02 7:49

Yeah. I know you saying how it's just three or four years, but like when you think about that's the entire we think of it like the era of being a teenager, but the entirety of that era is just a short four years give or take.

SPEAKER_03 8:09

And it goes so fast. And it goes so fast. Oh my gosh. I'm like coming up on my like 20-year high school reunion. Like, what? I know. What? That's so crazy to me. Like, that's not real. Like, there's no way that's real.

SPEAKER_02 8:24

I know. I I had the same. Actually, for me, this year is 20 years for me, which is really weird. I was just telling someone, I forget who I was talking to. Maybe it was my niece. She recently had a birthday. She turned 17. And I'm like, to be honest, I don't know if you'll ever feel like an adult. Because I have a lot of moments, like, I know I'm an adult, obviously. But I'm like, I just kind of feel like a kid a lot of times, or like you don't feel any different than you did then. No. Yeah. Because I mean, like, we're still the same person. We've just like gathered experiences and time goes on and you just get older and you have more responsibilities. But I guess that's just what it means to be an adult is just to have more responsibilities. Bills. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 9:08

More alarms to wake up to.

SPEAKER_02 9:09

Really?

SPEAKER_03 9:10

More things that you have to answer for.

SPEAKER_02 9:12

Do you set an alarm when you have like a day off nothing on your calendar?

SPEAKER_03 9:18

I don't usually set alarms. At all? No. Oh wow. The um the only time I would previously was on Sundays and it was to get up to get ready to go to church. I don't know why I'm so shocked right now. Well, that's the only time Frankie doesn't get up before me because he does he does um fasted cardio. Yeah. So he's up at six. So then I'm just up.

SPEAKER_02 9:44

I I'm shocked right now. I think that's great that you don't set an alarm. Cause I'm that person where like um I I'm always like, what if I oversleep? But also like, for what? Because I'll set my alarm too on days that I don't have anything like first thing in the morning. I'll still set it because I still want to get up at a certain hour just to have like my time.

SPEAKER_03 10:09

Will you sleep though? Are you a morning person? Because I won't sleep, like I'm an total morning person. Like at my body, I won't go past eight o'clock ever.

SPEAKER_02 10:20

No, I don't, I won't either. Um, I mean, I have there's been times, but I don't like to, and I won't. And then of course Kendrick's up Jordan's up, just he's just up. But I wouldn't say that I'm a morning person, but I don't like to sleep in. So I guess that makes me a morning person.

SPEAKER_03 10:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:40

Yeah. I don't like to, I don't know, that feels weird saying, but I don't like to sleep in.

SPEAKER_03 10:45

That is something that was conditioned in me.

SPEAKER_02 10:47

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 10:48

You you as well.

SPEAKER_02 10:49

Yeah. So like my dad, if even on a Saturday, if we would sleep in too much, like according to what he thinks is too much, he would literally tear the blankets off of the bed.

SPEAKER_03 10:59

I would have girls, like not girls, mostly just Amanda, my best friend Amanda, or maybe one other two girls that would sleep over. And if past six o'clock, and everybody else had like a I actually saw a video on this that everybody grows up in a sleep positive or a sleep negative household where like it's sleep is encouraged, like, oh, you need it, get your good sleep, or people, or your parents were like, Why are you sleeping so much? Yeah. I didn't my dad was not sleep positive. If after six o'clock, if we weren't awake, he would come in with like a spotlight or like an alarm and be like, it's time to get up. You guys have been sleeping for too long. Get everybody up. I love it. Start making your bed, get up, and then we would get up and be like, Well, now what? When we wore more up, now what? That's funny. But that's stuck with you. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:48

Yeah. I yeah, my dad didn't let us sleep in. Or um when I would, I think maybe this is why I don't just by default say I'm a morning person. Because when I was a kid, it would be harder for me to get up because I remember that if Saturday morning came around and my brother didn't wake me up for Saturday cartoons, I'd be so upset. Why didn't you wake me up? You know? And where he would just naturally get up.

SPEAKER_03 12:15

Yeah. Do you think that so since then your body has inclined you to wake up early to anticipate Saturday morning cartoons?

SPEAKER_02 12:24

I think that I with how I naturally just am wired, and maybe even part of it being a mom now with Kendrick, I want to have intentional quiet time first thing in the morning before Kendrick is up. And then prior to having him, I just wanted to make sure that I got up early enough so that I could be productive. And so even if I don't naturally get up, I would force myself to get up. The times have changed a little bit where like if I'm a little extra tired, then I don't mind sleeping a little bit more. But I just don't like the feeling of sleeping in.

SPEAKER_03 13:01

Yeah, me either.

SPEAKER_02 13:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 13:03

It's funny how that's changed. But you sleep at like past nine, and then I'm like, forget it. Don't even get out of bed. The day is done.

SPEAKER_02 13:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 13:11

Just go back to sleep. You've slept literally all day. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:16

No, I don't like that. I feel groggy and then I just, yeah, it's not a good feeling. But so as we're talking about Mother's Day is around the corner, I have been thinking about just the generational impact that comes from families, not just mothers. Um, and more so not just with how we are as people, but in our faith specifically. And so last episode, if you guys listen, if you guys listen, we talk about the great commandment and where it talks about love the Lord with your love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. And that's the verse out of Deuteronomy 6. But following that, it says, These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts, impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Um, tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads, write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates. And so I think it's really beautiful that after the great commandments of loving your God, loving the Lord our God, that it also talks about to impress them on your children and to pass it down. And so not only are we commanded that, but we're commanded to just not just your children, but even just like your household. And I think that's the important part of it. I read a verse in First Timothy earlier that I wanted to share as well. It says, it's 1 Timothy 5 8. Anyone who does not provide for their relatives and especially for their own household has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. Dang. Like that actually just gave me chills as I read that again.

SPEAKER_03 15:03

My mom is gonna love that.

SPEAKER_02 15:04

Yeah. So it's like you're if you've denied your faith to like your relatives and your household, it's worse than an unbeliever. Um, it's funny because I said I just got chills. Like, you know, in English when we say goosebumps, oh, I that gave me goosebumps. In Korean, we say chicken skin. Isn't that funny? Yeah. I always think that when I say chills, I'm like, oh, chicken skin. Um so mentioning that to highlight how important it is, not just to evangelize to others, because I think a lot of times when we talk about evangelizing, we're thinking about the people around us, the people we come across. Hi, buddy. What is that?

unknown 15:43

A rock.

SPEAKER_02 15:44

A rock? I got Kendrick here. It looks like a what if it's a what if it's a dinosaur egg?

SPEAKER_03 15:53

You guys look like you were running.

SPEAKER_01 15:55

You sound goo goo gaga.

SPEAKER_03 16:00

Yeah, why are you so sweaty, Frankie?

SPEAKER_01 16:02

I'm nervous. Why are you nervous? Because you're talking.

SPEAKER_02 16:08

Because I'm talking. Mommy doesn't make you nervous when I talk.

SPEAKER_01 16:11

Yes, you do.

SPEAKER_02 16:12

Oh, I do.

SPEAKER_03 16:14

Um we have to work on that. You're very sweaty. Oh, you guys were playing soccer.

SPEAKER_01 16:19

I was 10 to 20. I got 20. He got 10.

SPEAKER_02 16:22

Oh. In in soccer? Wow, let it be known.

SPEAKER_03 16:28

You beat him by 10 points. Hendrick beat Frankie. Frankie looks beat.

SPEAKER_04 16:36

I'm gonna change my shirt.

SPEAKER_02 16:40

Okay, sounds good. Okay, buddy, we're gonna finish talking. Anything else you'd like to tell the listeners? I'm gonna be here for 24 hours. For 24 hours?

SPEAKER_03 16:54

What are you gonna do for the 24 hours? What if we put you in the attic? Ooh.

SPEAKER_01 17:00

Be awake for a whole entire day and that whole entire night.

SPEAKER_03 17:04

Yeah. The whole entire day and the whole entire night.

SPEAKER_02 17:07

You don't think you'll be tired?

unknown 17:09

Nope.

SPEAKER_02 17:10

It's funny, you were talking about sleep. How as adults were like, we just want to nap, and kids were like, I just want to stay up for 24 hours. No.

SPEAKER_01 17:17

Paninas are sweet.

SPEAKER_03 17:27

Speaking of Mother's Day. Your day. Sun's Day. It sounds like your birthday, Kendrick. Is it different than your birthday?

SPEAKER_02 17:51

Six and three quarters in September.

SPEAKER_03 17:53

Well, you're gonna be seven in November.

SPEAKER_01 17:56

Wow right now it's May.

SPEAKER_02 18:09

What's after May? Six more months. September. May, June, July, August. September. How many is that?

SPEAKER_01 18:27

Oh, I mean like when it's September it's gonna be two more months and so it's gonna be.

SPEAKER_02 18:31

Yeah, yeah. Once we get to September then it's two more months.

SPEAKER_01 18:34

It's gonna be two and a half more months and it's all gonna be separate.

SPEAKER_02 18:37

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01 18:38

Because November I already wish it was January first.

SPEAKER_02 18:46

January first? Why? I don't actually.

SPEAKER_01 18:52

So my birthday could be Twenty Nineteen.

SPEAKER_02 18:56

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01 18:57

When I first got boy, January first. Uh-huh. Twenty twenty. June or January. January first. Twenty twenty-two. It's gonna be out. The first year I'm gonna be five.

SPEAKER_02 19:25

I'm not tracking. Yeah, I'm you I'm lost, Kendrick.

SPEAKER_03 19:29

In twenty twenty-one you were two.

SPEAKER_01 19:32

No, I'm changing birthday, so it could be.

SPEAKER_03 19:35

Oh, you wish your birthday was January first. Oh. So that your y your birthday would be on the first day of the year every year. So because it comes faster?

SPEAKER_01 19:45

Yeah. It probably comes faster.

SPEAKER_02 19:48

But it's the same amount of time you're waiting. It's still 365 days. So you can just call it January 1st for all that matters.

SPEAKER_01 19:56

Basically, it's basically 600 600,000 days.

SPEAKER_02 20:00

600,000. Wow. And basically why do you want why do you want to um no thank you? Okay. Okay. Why why do you want to be older so fast? Why don't you just want to enjoy the age that you are?

SPEAKER_01 20:22

Wait.

SPEAKER_02 20:23

How come you want to hurry up and be older?

SPEAKER_01 20:26

Squirrel.

SPEAKER_02 20:27

Squirrel. Not paying attention. Wait, squirrel. But really a squirrel.

unknown 20:39

Perfect.

SPEAKER_02 20:40

Alright, hey, we're gonna finish, we're gonna finish talking.

SPEAKER_01 20:43

I want to introduce you to something.

SPEAKER_02 20:45

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 20:49

Okay. Thanks, bud. That is the second time you've armpit farted on the Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:57

Hey, Kendrick, look at mommy. Kendrick. You can go on over there now. Thank you. All right.

SPEAKER_03 21:05

We're sending our kids off. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:08

Oh the irony of like hurrying, like wanting to hurry up and be older. I know. I'm like, we're why why do we get that? Thinking that like you have more privilege the older you get. I guess. But with that comes more responsibility, and that's what kids don't think about.

SPEAKER_03 21:34

Or they don't they don't realize it until it smacks them in the face. Right. Slow down. Yeah. But we were reading the Shema in in Deuteronomy. And um you were talking about how it says. These commandments that I give you today, you are to be are um you are to be on your heart. Impress them on your children, talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them in door frames of your houses and on your gates. Um this is actually why I have tattoos on my hands.

SPEAKER_02 22:30

To remember.

SPEAKER_03 22:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:32

And I'm gonna take us on a tangent now, but you also have tattoos on your hands now. I do.

SPEAKER_02 22:37

And I wanted to make it a point that I knew the verse exactly if I'm gonna have it on my hand. And a lot of times when I memorize verses, I'll forget them. You know, I'll memorize it, check, got it done, and then I won't recall them to memory again, and so I forget them. So, not shockingly, here when it says um talk about them when you sit at home, when you walk along the road, tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them to your foreheads. Like, have not for granted, these are so fresh, but I have not forgotten. I was like um basically saying it out loud again as I was driving it.

SPEAKER_03 23:18

I'm like, wow, yeah, it's still in my brain. Yeah. So if you're working on memorizing scripture, just get a tattoo. Do you want to tell us what it is? Yeah, okay. Well, we should take pictures too, so that they can see.

SPEAKER_02 23:34

It's very long-winded, actually. Um, but because each hand it's something different, but the scripture is John 14, 16, and then the other one is Romans 8, 26. So John 14, 16 is um, and see, of course, now that I'm recording it says, and I will ask the Father to send another helper. Oh, and I will ask the father, and he will send you another helper to be with you forever, is John 14, 16, and the helper being the Holy Spirit. And the other one is Romans 8, 26, where it says, likewise the spirit helps us in our weakness, for we know not what to pray for, for we do not know what we to what we should pray for as we ought. But the spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And then below that I have what it's very ambiguous. Um, and you would not know what it is if you just looked at it, because it's something that I just really in the moment made up. But it's a bunch of horizontal lines, and then there's three vertical lines, and it's inspired by Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, when um they're ordered to basically bow down to the golden statues. Um, King Nebuchadnezzar gets upset that they don't bow down, they get thrown into the fiery furnace, but just a reminder to be set apart, and so to not go with the flow of the world, but always to stand firm in the truth. Um, even if like you're going against the current, you know, and just how hard that is to be set apart. And so with those two scriptures that I read to be reminded that the spirit intercedes for us during those times when it's hard to be set apart, and also we have the helper within us that is with us forever as um those that are saved. So a very long-winded way. But one of the reasons why I like how ambiguous it is, because I know it's going to be a conversation starter. And so I'm like honestly just waiting for a non-believer to ask me questions and be like, what's that on your hand?

SPEAKER_03 25:36

Why do you have these lines on your hand?

SPEAKER_02 25:38

Yeah, let me tell you. Um, and then the other one is um some Greek scripts and then a lyric from CC Wine and Song where it says, All my life you have been, and then I just left that blank. So all my life you have been what? Faithful. He's been good, he's been merciful, like fill in the blank. But all my life he has always been.

SPEAKER_03 26:00

So love it. Yeah. And they look so good.

SPEAKER_02 26:03

Yeah, I go.

SPEAKER_03 26:04

I keep saying cute. I don't know if cute is the right word to use it, but yeah, they're very cute.

SPEAKER_02 26:09

Yeah. The thin line work, it's like very dainty looking, you know. And I went to the same uh tattoo artist that Ari went to, so shout out to Madison. Um, she's located in Everett. Just like I I loved how crisp your lines were.

SPEAKER_03 26:22

I can't wait to do it again.

SPEAKER_02 26:24

Yeah. I know I have some space on there that eventually I will fill that maybe my mom might not be thrilled about. Yeah. But at least they're godly scriptures, and I honestly feel like um it's a great tool to kind of spread more seeds.

SPEAKER_03 26:42

So it is to get people to ask. It is a way to evangelize without having to open your mouth. People ask. Yeah. And then you get to share what it means. Yeah. People love to ask, what does your tattoo mean? And people love to people you don't know.

SPEAKER_02 27:01

And honestly, I think a lot of the times, at least like with Jordan, because he has so much work on him, most of the people ask, it's people that we don't know, like when we're just out in public. Um, and so this kind of leads me to another point. I read a really interesting statistic where it says approximately 94% of US Christians were raised in the faith. And that means only 6% of those people, um, they're converts from other religions or no religion. And so, again, just the importance of even spreading the word.

SPEAKER_04 27:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:37

Because yes, some of us are fortunate enough where we were born in a home that already um had faith of some sort, you know, or like we were born into a home where we came from parents that talked about God or from parents that prayed over us. Um, and again, according to that stat, like the majority of Christians in the US, that's the case. But what about those other six percenters? And then there's another stat. I didn't put the number exactly um here, but the number of people that are that were born in Christian homes, but there wasn't, there's like, I think I want to just guess, I'm gonna throw a number out there. It was like 70% or something that uh retained their faith, which means people were born in Christian homes, identified as being Christians, but then fell away from their faith going into adulthood. And it's like, well, why does that happen?

SPEAKER_03 28:35

Yeah. Um, I saw somebody talking about this. I think it was an also another statistic, and who knows how accurate it is. But that the majority of Christians who are raised Christian and then stop be um, what is it called? Become apostates. Apostates when you um give up your faith is because they just stop believing. Yeah, and how sad.

SPEAKER_02 29:03

Which is wild. That is so sad. And so this really all ties in perfectly with that verse that we read out of Deuteronomy 6, 5 to 9, because this is why it's so important that, yes, we uh metaphorically have like we tie the word to our hands and on our foreheads, and that we are constantly rooted in that way, but also in the way that we're commanded to um impress on our children and even our entire household, and for that to be just a constant topic of conversation, like how many times is like do we gather with relatives and family where we're not talking about our faith? And so I feel like when it's constantly being spoken about, it stays fresh on your mind. And so those that have children, it's easier to do when your kids live with you. But as like you grow up and move out the house, have your own family, just enter the workforce, all those things. Like, I think that's why too, a lot of a lot of people that are born into the faith, their faith is not retained because they kind of just stop talking about it.

SPEAKER_03 30:12

That's a good perspective. It's a that's a good like thought to like how often it's being spoken about.

SPEAKER_02 30:20

It needs to stay fresh on our mind, but even like I don't know the number of parents that I've heard, it's like well, when you're 18, you can make your own choice.

SPEAKER_03 30:32

I you know what I've heard something similar to where people have said, like, oh, we want our kids to be able to choose their own faith.

SPEAKER_02 30:42

What you guys can't see me, but I just like made fists in both of my hands out of frustration. You're not you don't get a choice when you're living with me as a child. You don't know better.

SPEAKER_03 30:54

I don't have children, so I can't speak as a parent, but um the whole reason parents exist and why you are at the mercy of them and why you are legally why children are um it's a um why what is the word I'm looking for? They're like legally bound to you, dependent to you, um, is because you have to raise them. You have to tell them the right things to do. You have to show them, you have to teach them. Why does it stop at faith?

SPEAKER_02 31:31

That's really good.

SPEAKER_03 31:32

I guess maybe if somebody, one of those people came from like a quote unquote like church hurt, I guess. I wish we could stop per perpetuating church hurt. I understand that that is something that exists and I haven't experienced it, but I I just don't it feels strange to me because like people like the church hurt you, the church hurt Jesus too. That shouldn't take you away from your faith. People hurt people, yeah. Yeah. But yeah, I guess people who who felt like their parents maybe forced them into believing things that they don't believe or made them do things they didn't like, which like our parents did that no matter what. Faith aside, they made us do things we didn't like.

SPEAKER_02 32:13

I if there's any of you that are listening, I mean, like, send us a DM because I am genuinely curious if you came from a house with parents, or if you are a parent that has said or you've heard, um, I want you to be able to choose. I'm curious the thought process behind that. I mean, I really do, because in what other things do parents give children the freedom in that way? And if we are Bible-believing Christians, we believe in eternity, we believe that Jesus died for us and rose again and like why he did if this is like of the utmost importance, why this would be a thing that you allow them to choose and the way that like we're raised to like. I mean, do you do your parents say you have a choice to go to school or not? You know, because we started the podcast talking about like being raised in a home where like education was really drilled into me as like something that was necessary for you to be successful. And so with faith, I'm just curious. My parents didn't give me a choice.

SPEAKER_03 33:29

Yeah, and I'm so thankful for that. I think that's such a blessing. Like I I can say for even though we weren't going to church at all consistently, like every single week, there was never a time or a question where I um like I always knew what the familial belief system was. I knew what my parents believed in. I'm specifically my mom. I knew exactly where her faith stood and what her beliefs were. And it was something that was referenced and spoken about, not to the extent that I would now, I think, because I'm I just live a different life. But prayer was always talked about. Jesus specifically was always talked about. Um morality, um eternal life. There were things that like even as like a really I mean my mom, my both my parents used like fear as a a way to parent me often. And there were times where it would be thrown around of like, well, you can't do that because then you'll go to hell. And I was like, Oh, I don't want to do that, so I gotta stop.

SPEAKER_02 34:49

I think fear tactics could have a place. Yeah. I I would say, even like for my mom, I think the first place where I learned what it looks like to be in prayer and to be postured, your heart to be postured to like truly worship, I think was from watching my mom.

SPEAKER_03 35:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:15

And even if I would say that there's maybe some conversations, we could have had more conversations, and that takes two to tango. Like some of it was because I wasn't always just I wasn't the easiest kid to talk to. But um I I learned that from just seeing what my mom did. Like, even like being in the car, where like I remember where my dad would be driving, and my mom's in the front, and like if there's like someone cuts us off and it feels like we almost got hit by a car, and my mom would like say a prayer right there, or she'd start speaking in tongues, you know, just like me, like, oh Lord Jesus, save us, you know.

SPEAKER_03 35:54

But um, even like those little moments that is exactly what that verse talks about when like it imprints on your children. Those those are the things that we remember and how it continues to say, like, talk about them when you sit at home, when you walk along on the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Okay. So that's great. I like you're doing all of those things with your children. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:23

So the talk about them when you sit at home. So that's um, I feel like a more like a formal way of like you're gonna sit and you're gonna talk about together. When you lock, when you walk along the road, that kind of is like when you're just going along and doing everyday life daily things, and when you lie down and when you get up. So, like first thing in the morning and last thing during the day, like what are you doing? Like, how is the word of God being embedded in all the small things and daily parts, like daily tasks of everyday life? Um, okay, I want to share a story, a proud parenting moment that feels like a win, but not because of me, but it felt so Holy Spirit-led to the point when I was trying to um, I wrote it down in my phone, trying to like just remember these small moments. And I'll I have like a note in my phone and I'll date it where I was trying to recollect the conversation that I had with Kendrick. It wasn't even flowing because I just felt like in the moment it was so Holy Spirit-led. Um, but part of it is also because of my own childhood and what I did and didn't learn as a kid. So story time. Well, Kendrick's not here because he's not gonna like that I'm talking about him. But he's very private. Yeah. He yeah. Um, but maybe when he gets older and he hears this, this would be like a great just memory for him. Cause I actually think this is really, we'll see. Well, okay. I don't know if I talked about this last time on the podcast, but one day when tell me if I talked about this when I picked him up from school and he told me that um he said a bad word. I don't think so. I don't know if I was on the podcast. So it's been a thing in the last four weeks where Kendrick has been snitching on himself. And when I pick him up from school, I'll always ask him, instead of saying, like, what did you learn from school? That's like a hard answer for him, a hard question for him to answer. So I'll kind of feed it to him, be like, you know, what did you do at recess? Um, did you cry today? What was something fun that you did? Who did you play with? More specific, open-ended questions. And so as we're driving home, I picked him up from school. He goes, Mommy, I said a bad word. I was like, Oh, and in my mind, I'm like, sometimes kids think that they're saying a bad word. Like, I don't let him say, Oh my gosh. Like, say, oh my goodness, that's better. Um, some parents might think that's silly, but you know, whatever, whatever. And so I'm like, okay, well, what's the bad word? It might have just been something as simple as that. And he goes, Well, I was playing at recess and someone tagged me and I was like, Oh, shh, fill in the blank, right? And I'm like, Oh, some my face, he's in the backseat and I'm driving. I'm like, don't overly react. Um, let's just talk about this. So we ended up talking through it and we ended up praying together. And and, you know, I explained why we don't want to use what I say, like dirty words or like ugly words because God made us a certain way. And so he's like, okay, okay, we pray about it, and he feels really guilty about it. So I'm like, that's enough. Okay, fast forward now. That was like maybe three weeks ago. Um, today's Saturday. I picked him up yesterday at school. Okay, so we're at baseball practice. We're in the middle of practice, girl. The middle of practice, he literally runs off the field to me because he spontaneously remembered he said a bad word again at school.

SPEAKER_03 40:01

What?

SPEAKER_02 40:01

In the middle of baseball practice. Like he's practicing baseball and he's like, Oh, I like this is how pure. He's like, Oh, this happened. I have to tell her right now. Like he just remembered and he started to instantly feel guilty about it. So he comes to me, looks at me, and his now his eyes are watery before he even says anything. Cause it's like, now this is the third time in a month. He goes, Mommy, I did it again. I'm like, what are you talking about? Like, get back out there. We're at practice. I just need you to focus right now, you know? We'll talk about it later. Yeah, I'm like, right now we're at practice. What is, you know, I'm not worried about whatever. Like, he didn't even tell me yet. He's like, I said a bad word at school. And so again, I'm trying to reel it back in. I'm like, and he's now eyes, like tears are filling his eyes. I'm like, okay, um, we're at baseball. Let's just focus on that right now, and we'll talk about it later. Because you're gonna be mad at me. I'm like, let's just, I'm not worried about it right now. We'll talk about it later. So now we're in the car, and now he's again, he's the one bringing it up. I forgot he even mentioned it.

SPEAKER_03 41:02

He's gotta get it out.

SPEAKER_02 41:03

He's gotta get it out. It's like conviction at such a young age. That's precious. Um, so he's like, I said another bad word. I said the F word. I was like, okay. What did you say? Because it could be just a word that starts with a letter F. And he goes, I said freaking shh. I'm like, all right, I don't like the word freaking either.

SPEAKER_04 41:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 41:28

And then the other one's just straight up a cuss word, right? So this is the part where I'm like, okay, where do I go with this? When I was a kid, I remember I said a bad word. My dad washed my tongue with soap. Did that did your parents ever do that? No, I so ivory specifically, which is why I never buy ivory soap.

SPEAKER_03 41:49

Oh he scrubbed my tongue, just like bad like the smell of it.

SPEAKER_02 41:53

You don't want, uh yeah. I mean, low-key trauma, you know? Um, or like if I ever mouthed off to him, it was it was not good. So I feel like from learning that, I didn't want to react to Kendrick. I don't ever want him to be scared of me. And also I think about when he's an adult, or even when he's a teenager, more so when he's a teenager, if he does something wrong, I want him to be able to come to me without fearing his life.

SPEAKER_04 42:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 42:20

So I'm like, okay, Holy Spirit, what do I do in this moment? Because now this is the third strike. Clearly, it's not working, right? And so I tell him, I'm like, you know what, buddy? We've talked about this and we've prayed about this. And because instantly he goes, Mommy, can we pray? Can we pray? I'm like, okay, hold on. Some things we don't need to pray about because what are we gonna do when we pray about it? Are we gonna ask God what we should do? Buddy, we already know what we should do. Okay. And if we pray to God, say, God, give me self-control, because that's what we did before. Like, Jesus, give me self-control, you know. I'm like, we can ask God to give us self-control again, but here's the thing: you already know what you have to do. And so this is where I feel like it was very Holy Spirit because I didn't want to tear him down because he already felt so guilty about it. And so I'm like, here's the thing, Kendrick. God made you so kind, God made you so smart. You have self-control in you already. Yeah, we don't have to ask God to give that to us because you already have it. Um, and so we just went on and on and on. And then I told him, now I'm driving in the car because we're at the gas station. This is poor kid. I'm talking for like 20 minutes. I'm sorry, Kendrick. And so now we're driving in the car, and I'm like, you know, I don't want you to not use bad words because mommy told you. I want you to not use them because you know how God has designed you. Oh, that's good. And you I want you to know what to do and what not to do. Not to do. It's mommy's job to teach you.

SPEAKER_03 44:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:03

But I can't force you. And also, God has given us free will. Do you think that God tells us, you better not do this, or else? Does mommy tell you you better love me or I'm gonna blah, blah, blah? Like, Kendrick, do you love me? He's like, Yeah. I was like, Yeah, you love me, but I don't force you. You choose to love mommy just like I choose to love you. So God, and so now I'm explaining like to him what free will is, you know? Like, do you tell me to go clean your room and wash your clothes? I'm like, no, mommy does that even if I'm tired, because I love you so much that I will still do it if I'm tired. And so now I'm telling him, like, I want you to do things because you love me, and I want you to honor God because you love him so much.

SPEAKER_03 44:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:55

And so, and then we started talking about like, you know, mommy prays every day for you that you would never go one day without knowing God. It's mommy's job to teach you these things, but also I want you to love God so much. And we just like I we went off, we just kept talking and he starts crying. And now I'm crying, and we're both crying. He goes, Mommy, are you crying? I'm like, Yeah, I'm crying. Cause I just want you more than you not saying bad words, it's so important to me that you love God so much. Yeah. And it's more important to me that you know how much God loves you and how he created you. And now he's like crying. And like, I think this was the mom win that I felt like that did not come from me. Is now like he's crying because I'm speaking life into him.

SPEAKER_03 45:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 45:46

And honestly, I really wanted to spank him. And not out of anger. I told him I was like, I just feel like you didn't get in enough trouble. And so that's why you think that it's okay, you know? Because do you think if I spanked you that you would remember it? He's like, Yeah, you know, but I'm like, I actually don't know if that would um help you though.

SPEAKER_03 46:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 46:07

Cause there is a time and a place I have spanked him for sure. But I just didn't feel like that would have taught him anything. And it just felt like as I was watching him, and I think this is like where discernment is so important. Like, I'm like, he's really receiving this. And again, not from even just me in that moment. I felt like God was working in him.

SPEAKER_03 46:28

I think you're 100% right. That's exactly what I'm thinking. That all roads led to this. That it was a it was a series of small divine events for a very intentional moment and conversation. Because what you said is like profound, like it and so truthful. Where like one, don't do it because you're gonna get in trouble. Or don't not do it because you're gonna get in trouble by me. Because one day I'm not gonna be there. Yeah. And don't just not do it because of like the fear of trouble, but because you love God so much and you are loved by God so much. Yeah. And I really feel like it marked him.

SPEAKER_02 47:11

And I was so grateful. Yeah. Yeah. Cause and and then it's like, I could have been like, don't say it anymore. I mean, and he knows that I don't want him to, but I wanted him to understand like why. But also with the whole thing with the free will, I'm like, you can say bad words if you want, but I need you to feel like inside why that's not right.

SPEAKER_03 47:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 47:35

Like there's no part of you that should want to, yeah. Honestly, you know, and so it was just like the heart piece that I really wanted him to get. But also in the way that we do things because we love our moms, or we love our husbands, or because we love God so much. Yeah. And to even understand, and then we talked about like Jesus died. Did you know? Jesus died for you so that he could bear our burdens. Like, and he gets that part. I'm like, Jesus suffered on the cross so much for us, and he died and he rose again so that he can lift our burden. Like, he knows from school, like, oh, Jesus started on the cross. He says to kill our sins. And so we went down that whole thing, and he's now he's like full on crying. And I'm like, oh, and that I mean, like even now as I'm retelling the story, I feel like it's even not flowing the same way. Because I know in that moment when I had that conversation with them, it was like the Holy Spirit.

SPEAKER_03 48:35

I feel that, I see that, I hear it.

SPEAKER_02 48:37

Yeah, but I'm like, praise God. And these I'm it's it's funny, like I think we will, I think there'll never be one way to do something. Yeah. And even in many of the episodes that we've had so far, I hope we've done a good job with letting people know that even when we say something, it's not because it's the one way to do it, but with how important it is to be just led by the Holy Spirit and just in the way that we talk about discernment. Because there's really not one way to do it.

SPEAKER_03 49:12

That is the one way to do it is to just be led by the Holy Spirit to just be fully surrendered to the Lord. That's it.

SPEAKER_02 49:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 49:21

And then everything after that couldn't can look different. Yeah. Because it's situational and and and our God is so detailed in ways that we'll never be able to understand. And when you're when you're keen on it and and rooted, you don't even realize those details, those small things are coming out of you. That's so good.

SPEAKER_02 49:45

Cause even because I could have been really frustrated that, like, okay, dude, three strikes, you're out. Yeah, now I'm pissed. Yeah. Where in hindsight, now, even as we're talking about it, I'm like, I'm actually so glad that those other two times happened because it led to that conversation. That I genuinely believe in Jesus' name that it marked him in such a pure and like such a pure way that he really felt in that moment just like the love of God.

SPEAKER_03 50:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 50:14

And even in the way that it says that it's his kindness that leads us to repentance, I felt like in that moment that it was he recognized the kindness and the grace that I was giving him, and that he felt more overwhelmed by that, that I wasn't gonna spank him.

SPEAKER_03 50:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 50:30

Was like, I'm so grateful for that. And it's like, so thinking about like our own childhood, you know, I I'm even grateful for some of my experiences because it really formed me to be the parent that I am. And even observing other moms that are in our lives and how all those little things, all those other minor events, even um, that influenced how I would parent him now. There's no way if I had a kid in my 20s that I would have been able to raise him in the way that I'm trying to now is like praise God.

SPEAKER_03 51:12

I mean, praise God for all of it. Thank you, Jesus. There's nobody has I mean, very few people have a really perfect childhood and upbringing, and some people's are worse than others.

SPEAKER_02 51:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 51:29

And you can either take that and carry that chip on your shoulder and let it be an excuse for all the reasons why not. Yeah. Or you can have the perspective of like look at it through God's eyes, right? To ask to see what God sees. And I fully believe that he'll he'll show you the intentionality of all those things, even those painful things, even those hurtful things, even you know, like the quote unquote like childhood trauma, like some there's very real parts of that, but I think it's very intentional.

SPEAKER_02 52:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 52:14

And not because he wants us to be sad or because he wants us to suffer, but because it is all part of our of us being forged.

SPEAKER_02 52:25

Yeah, very much so. Yeah, the I love that you said forged, just like that refinement, those impurities that have to get pulled out for us to become who God has really designed us to become. Um I even think about so like one of the questions that's just I think for both of us since we started the podcast, that has just been bouncing around in our mind, and we haven't quite been able to put language to a lot of it, but just the question of like, or the thought of the enemy comes for the family. And um, there is a reason why the enemy comes for the family.

SPEAKER_03 53:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 53:12

Because even in like, for example, like this parenting moment that I had with Kendrick, I feel like another reason why I was able to bring it to him the way that I did is also because Jordan, my husband, also pours into Kendrick and like what it looks like being a whole family unit. And in the way that I don't know, being Kendrick being in a family that comes that has like a mom and a dad that both love Jesus and the impact that it has on him makes me really, I feel like he's gonna be a force when he gets older, and the enemy doesn't like that. And I don't know. And then I think about there are Christian families that have split, and how the you think about, you know, in the Bible when it says the enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy. I feel like you can use that in the context of like family too. 100%, you know? He wants to destroy families.

SPEAKER_03 54:14

Look at the way that it you are more likely, if you get married, you are more likely to be divorced than to stay married in the US. That is real, right? That is not just coincidental. Yeah. God designed marriage and the enemy wants to do everything, like you said, to steal, kill, and destroy.

SPEAKER_02 54:40

Yeah, there is a stat, even that um it talks about a father's influence. And it says that re research shows that when a father is the first in his family to come to Christ, there's a 93% probability that the rest of the family will follow. 93%. Um, and then when the mothers, I know this is Loki and Mother's Day podcast or episode, so this is kind of funny. Mother's influence is less. When a mother is the first, there's only 17% probability the family will follow. But when we look at the order of family, and so like God's design as man being the head of the house, so it's not a surprise to me what happens in the family dynamic and just like the health of the family's faith. When the father leads, what happens? On the flip side, though, there's something that I read that it says that moms are the primary activity and conversation partners for teens. And so I think that's interesting too. So like the father leads, but the mom is the one that often has the conversations. So maybe one leads through action and shows and the other one. So just like the beauty of like each member of the family has a specific role that brings that paints like a whole picture of like full healthy faith. Um and to even think like marriage is not a social construct or institution, like culture is a good idea. Yeah, but like marriage and family, it's a it's a spiritual, like it's a spiritual like forming formation. Like it's it's godly, it's of God. And so I mean, like, no wonder the enemy comes for the family in that way.

SPEAKER_03 56:34

Yeah, and well, think about it this way. Most people, if there's a family and the family is children, and the family and the children are small or whatever age, when the family, if the parents split, typically, I think we could probably agree, most would agree, typically those children stay with that mom most of the time, right? And then this dad sees them the other part of the time. And that then that puts all of like both roles, the pressure of both roles, on on the mom, right? The mom has to do both things, even though they're seeing the father, right? He's around, he's present, hopefully, they're with their mom more. And more pressure falls on on the mom to then play, I guess, both sides of it, right? Because you I don't think you if the family is split, I don't know that you can properly model the how of the father like leading. Yeah. Because now you have a woman on her own. Yeah. And I mean, maybe there are we can go at this all day, like with the what-ifs and the what-abouts, like, you know, if they remarry and seeing them another whatever, but even then, I just don't think it's the same because that's like how like you're saying the enemy comes for the family. It's like, let's break them apart, let's throw all of this burden on the mother, and then let's let the father just like be there when he wants to be, and that's fine, and that's cool, or just like send the money for it. Right. You know, like it's there, it's supposed to be a team, it's supposed to be a unit, like two people doing it together.

SPEAKER_02 58:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 58:27

And just having it's it doesn't work. It's like a scale that only has weight on one side. Like we see mothers do this all the time. My mom was a single mom. We're like, you can do it, you can do it fine, you can do it as well as possible, right? But that's not the way God intended for that to happen.

SPEAKER_02 58:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 58:44

It was it wasn't intended for that to happen. And I fully believe that it happened that way because of influence from the enemy. Yeah. But again, I've said this before, like, what the what the devil meant for evil, God is gonna use it for good. Still. So even though there's, you know, the statistics of marriage are what they are and single motherhood and um kids like right now growing up without fathers, it's like an all-time high. God is going to use all of those things for good. So every time the enemy gets in there and gets like his foot in the door or like his hand or a little bit further, it's like God's like just well, like, like there's a different plot. Like every time the enemy thinks he's in, it's like actually there's another lock on the door. There is.

SPEAKER_02 59:31

It reminds me of like, yes, how beautiful it is when the family unit is whole and there is a force and something powerful from that. But even if you come from a broken family in that sense, um, how beautiful it is when you when God still pulls you back in and you look at redemption completely different.

SPEAKER_03 59:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 59:53

Like it there, I mean, like it's I want to say even more powerful when you come back around like that. And I so I love that. It's true. Like the enemy comes knocking, but you there is another knock, really, and God has the final say. And that's been something that I've been praying the last couple of weeks is like God has the final say, period. Like God has the final say, He's the ultimate authority.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:19

Um, and actually, we have all we've already read the end of the book, you know. We we already know what happens, yeah, we know what happened. Yeah. Anyways, moms, eh? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:34

I'm just even like in the way I'm thinking, um, how the enemy doesn't want families, doesn't want marriage. Isn't it funny how when we watch entertainment, like really one of the the tactics of the enemy is for people to think that he doesn't exist, right? And so for the for culture to think that it's normal for there to be divorced, like it's so common it seems normal, right? Um, when truly that is spiritual warfare within the family. But like when we watch mainstream media, even when you watch like movies, a lot of the like sex scenes and intimate scenes, it's with people that are not married. So, like even sex out of marriage being like such a normal thing.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:25

Yeah, it is I think the opposite is not normal.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:29

Yeah. And right, yeah, like what you saved yourself a marriage? Yeah. I mean, like, how many people do we know that has done that? You know, hardly any. Or even um birth control, how normal birth control is. And so, like, as I'm using like my own son as an example, how I feel like because we are a whole family unit, how we're able to pour so much of our faith out onto him, and how I know and believe to be true that he will be a faithful, strong man of God, and that is a byproduct of the home that he's coming from, how the enemy has prevented that. He doesn't want Christian families to reproduce and have more children that pass on faith generation to generation to generation, right? So, why is it that birth control is so normal? Like, why is it that we watch movies where it's like normal to just have sex with your boyfriend and girlfriend?

SPEAKER_03 1:02:21

Like these are the things that like there's there is so much down that rabbit hole of like let's go pull that curtain so much like so many layers. Yeah. Feminism. The way that so many, so many large companies now will pay for women to have their eggs frozen so that you can just freeze your eggs and then just keep working forever. Um just yeah, and then like, oh, you working moms, or even just like you don't have kids. You don't need kids. What do you need kids for? Kids are gonna slow you down. Kids, do you know what happens to your body after you have kids? Like, this is the world we live in that's upside down world. That's prop yeah, that's what we're we're force-fed everywhere. Right. And then even like, I don't know about you, but I as far back as I can remember, I want to say like 14, 15, that doctors were trying to to tell my mom to put me on birth control. My mom was like, no, absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:21

Okay, can I ask why what do you know why your mom was so against it?

SPEAKER_03 1:03:26

Um, I think I don't know. I think that mostly because she I mean it's a grace, it's a grace that she was like, no. I think it was a Holy Spirit decision. I don't even think she was the reason that she was making the decision, I don't even think was the actual reason for it. Because I felt like she thought it would give me an excuse to to have sex. Fair enough. But I think a lot she would also argue that she does doesn't think it's good for a body, which is true. Which, yeah, it's true. I I don't think it's it's good for your body. I think it is really terrible.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:09

Yeah, maybe not good.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:11

And it's it is the norm. Everybody's everybody is on some form of birth control. And not only that, now we have these birth controls that live in your body for years and years at a time.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:25

What's you just like put something in your body and let it live there forever?

SPEAKER_02 1:04:28

I know. And it's true though, to how you're saying, like, maybe it was because she thought that it would maybe give you an excuse to have sex, like it condone it in some way. It's like, oh, I'm protected. But like, I mean, honestly, you think about a lot of young adult women, that is why that they get birth control, is so that they can continue to have sex and not get knocked up.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:49

But there is a million and five different things that doctors will prescribe to uh a teenage girl birth control birth control for, which does not make sense to me. Yeah, like your skin is bad, birth control. Your periods are weird, birth control. Um, you can't sleep, birth control.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:07

Heavy PMS is birth control, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:10

Literally anything that is like women specific, yeah, birth control. For what? Who who's doing this? Where where is this agenda coming from? Brian, why not uh diet and exercise?

SPEAKER_02 1:05:22

Honestly, eating clean works wonders.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:26

Why aren't they teaching doctors nutrition? Doctors have to go to school for how many years? Eight years? They have to spend how much money in medical school to become a doctor and they don't they aren't taught anything on nutrition?

SPEAKER_02 1:05:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:40

What?

SPEAKER_02 1:05:41

I know.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:41

Tell me, tell me the why we refer to the enemy as the god of this world.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:48

Because this is what this is not even the topic of our conversation.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:52

I know we're already an hour in, but yeah, I'm literally thinking that, like, again, like this could be another rabbit hole. I have to say this though, because I this also before. My mind, just talking about healthcare in general. I have a friend where she had, I'm gonna be vague with the details because this is a conversation I had in private with her. Um, but she was she was saying how she had to get something done at the hospital and um her health insurance did not approve this yet. Okay. So as she was waiting for her health insurance to approve paying for this in cash, she would have had to pay 400 and I'll just say$20. Um, but then in the process of her getting ready, so she got the bill, getting ready to pay cash, her insurance was like, oh, it's been approved. We'll cover it. So then they submitted an insurance claim for$1,600 for the thing that was only supposed to be$400 and something. And then the difference that she would have had to pay, because her insurance is gonna cover just a little bit of it, the difference she would have had to pay was$800. She was like, that makes no sense. I'll pay cash. Thanks.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:07

This is how twisted the system is. Make it make sense.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:10

Nothing, it none of it makes sense. It's all just like big pharma profit, you know. And none of it, none of it makes sense. Yeah, nothing. It just man, I just don't even want to get going on this.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:24

I know.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:25

I think that what to bring this back around for Mother's Day or talking about moms, like my mom has um thought similar to the way I'm talking or thinking right now and speaking most of my life, if not all of my life, my conscious life. And um I would give her so much grief for being so extreme about things.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:53

And not it not making sense to me or me feeling differently, or really just I was being I was um being two of the world. I was being letting the world mold me too much. I I didn't have um I didn't have I wasn't listening to God.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:16

But also because maybe you were just a child.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:19

Yeah, and yeah, both. I mean I think that I was I think a lot of it, I I was conscious enough and had enough capacity to not do it.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:31

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:32

And I just it's like that's fair, I hadn't been given the eyes to see yet.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:37

And my heart was still old, my spirit was not new. And I'm I just gave her so much grief about being so extreme and how it didn't make sense and she needed to chill and like all of that. And now I feel like sometimes I am even more. I don't want to say extreme because I think extreme is a bad representation of it. But I am, I guess, maybe more invested. And I think she was right about all of it. And how much I think people do that all the time where they're like look back and be like, man, my parents were right. Totally.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:12

I think that a lot of times, like now I understand, mom, like why you said the things you said, why you did the things you did. And I mean, like, I think that to your point, we didn't have the eyes to see yet, but also in our immaturity, in our lack of knowledge, you know, which I mean, like when we say someone's childish, it's really because of lack of knowledge a lot of times, right? Lack of maturity. Um, but now as I'm getting older, um, I see it now. And I I don't I I can't knock myself, like we can't blame ourselves really. I mean, there's some level of accountability and ownership you have to take.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:53

I think the timing was our timing of it was perfect. Yeah. I mean, it wasn't our timing, it was God's timing, and that's what I mean. The timing that what what our change, yeah, our transformation, metamorphosis, whatever you want to happen, when we were given these eyes to see in this new heart was at the perfect time. I agree.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:10

And in the way, like I feel like I keep saying this in these last couple weeks, like God gives the increase, you know, like yes, when um we have praise reports, he'll always get the increase, but it's because God gives the increase. And so when when we've had these like moments of grace and mercy where we've been able to see things full circle, it's really because the Holy Spirit has given the increase and given us the eyes to see, or we would have not been able to. And so, like, but also it's like there's growing pains, you know, as our moms have raised us and things like that. But for both sides, you know, I think as a kid, you just assume your parents know everything because they're your parents. And when you're a kid, your family is your world. You don't see beyond that much. But our parents are also learning. And I I mean, that's something that I was telling Kendrick too. I'm like, tell him all the time, like, Kendrick, when mommy was a kid, I did that too. And so it's mommy's job to teach you, but also remember, mommy's still learning how to be a mommy. Because I have a lot of moments where I feel guilty sometimes. Well, I'll have to be like, I'm sorry. Mommy's also still learning.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:26

I think that's a really good place to come from. Like, that's a a pure heart posture to be able to be that vulnerable. Like, I also don't know because I think we think our parents know everything because they act like they do. They talk to us like they do. And I mean, when we're young and they're 20, 30 years older, they do know a lot more than us. Yeah. And I remember my mom always yelling at me and being like, I've been on this earth 22 years longer than you. How could you know more than I do? And I'd be like, I do.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:04

And I did sometimes. But she, you know, like that what you're saying with like the the humility of being like, well, even if you did something that you regret or you maybe felt different conviction about and like just being open to him with it and saying, like, I'm just learning this too. This is my first time too. It gives this, it it lets it's a type of intimacy, let's some the like safety and a bond, right? Because with the the constant, I know better than you, listen to everything I say.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:38

It's not helpful.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:39

It's just it kind of sets you up for failure. Because then you're, you know, because your kids are watching you and watching everything you do, and then you make a mistake, and then they're like, Oh, everything they said is a lie. Wow. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:53

And it also I think teaches them grace.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:57

Yeah. To give grace. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:58

To give grace. And so it's like as we think about our own parents, it's like, yeah, for parents to have the humility to be like, I don't know everything, but also as children to look at our parents and be like, oh, they don't know everything. And so that's like the grace piece of it. And I also think that has brought healing in my own relationship with my mom, you know. It's like to have the grace of like we both don't know.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:26

We're just falling forward, yeah, in a sense. Because we are children of God, and there's a lot of sanctification that still has to happen.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:35

Yeah. You know, I it's, I'll be honest, that part, that piece is difficult for me still. And same. Like seeing her. I know she's her a person separate from my mom. And I know she didn't live that long before giving birth to me. She was very young. And still I'm like, but you still, you still got 20, a 22-year head start on me. So I don't know. It's just hard, it's hard for me to see her separate from my mom.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:06

Yeah. Because there is a still a great responsibility that comes with the fact that she is your mom, right? But and I think when we had coffee with our friend, I had mentioned this. But so to even admit that what you just said to me shows a pure heart. You know, we talked about like, what does even like a pure heart and clean hands mean? But I think part of having a pure heart is to be so honest with like, man, I really struggle with this. I think there is a purity of heart that comes with being that honest with what we struggle with.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:42

Like Kendrick.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:43

Yeah. Yeah. And so I mean, like bringing it back to that verse in Deuteronomy, the importance of constantly talking about these things. And again, not just parent to child, but like if you and I were sitting here talking outside of the podcast and Kendrick was in the background, that would also be him, like us talking about Jesus, you know? That would be him also witnessing like when you walk along the road.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:12

And that to be a like a backbone of a lot of our conversations through generations and amongst multi-generations. Like I love, I was talking to someone and I was saying how I wish we had more women at our specific church that were um older than us. But it's also the thing that I love about our church is that the demographics, a lot of it is people that are in similar seasons as us and age. But I love being around older people.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:48

Because there's stuff to learn. So much.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:50

Like they have so much wisdom. And I also just love hearing stories. Yes. Like people tell, you know, like, oh, back when I was your age. Like, tell me more. I want, I actually am fascinated. And I just I I I don't know. I love to hear it. Like, I wish I had more women in there in my life that were like in their 60s.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:12

And just wanted to talk. Yeah. Share everything. I agree. I feel like I need to do like a a family campaign and start calling everybody in my family and asking them. Because my immediate family, that I've asked them, I think everything I could possibly ask them. But if I go out further a little bit, I want to know more about okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:33

I saw like again, Mother's Day come around the corner. There's like Instagram ads. They're like, oh, get this present for your mom for Mother's Day. And one of them, it's like a book where you can customize where it tells your mom's testimony. And then have you has this been on your like have you seen that on your feed?

SPEAKER_03 1:16:48

We bought these for Frankie's parents. We bought them at separate times. So like over the last since we've been married, we've bought his mom and his dad one.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:57

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:57

They haven't done it.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:58

Okay. Well, hopefully they do. Um, but one of the questions on there was like uh something along the lines of like, what's your mother's salvation story? So, like, if there's people in your family that you already know that are saved, but it's like it'd be so cool to hear like their salvation story. Like, how did they come to Christ?

SPEAKER_03 1:17:18

Yeah. That is such a good question to ask people. I think we should be asking more people that agreed, agreed, agreed. It's fascinating to me. I want to know the day and the hour, what you were wearing, how you felt. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:34

And not even like, okay, if you were just born in a Christian home. Like so when we had Vic on the podcast, like her dad was a pastor, she was born in a home that loved Jesus, but then it was like, when did you like when did he become more personal to you?

SPEAKER_03 1:17:48

Yeah, everybody has that moment. Yeah. Raised in the church or not.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:51

Everybody does.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:52

Yeah. I know I agree. I think that's maybe for this Mother's Day, guys. If you guys are listening and you were born in a Christian home, ask your moms what their salvation story was.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:04

And if you weren't born in a Christian home, ask your mom why she hasn't had a salvation story.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:09

Wouldn't that be weird? Mom and be like, why don't you know Jesus? Seriously, let's just cut straight to the chase. My mom did, and I would do that, but she does.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:21

No, I I mean, honestly, I mean, that's how kids are. They're so matter-of-fact. They do not small talk beforehand. They cut straight to the chase. Do you know Jesus? I like no fluff.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:35

I have to constantly be corrected by the Holy Spirit because I often want to bully people into salvation. I don't, I have a very difficult time not doing it. I'm just a bully and I'm I'm trying I'm or I used to be, or no, not a bully.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:53

You forerunner, contender, intercessor.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:00

Direct. Hey guys, how is the movie?

unknown 1:19:03

Are you guys done?

SPEAKER_03 1:19:04

We we'll be here shortly. Yeah, bantering.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:08

Um I thought you guys fell asleep. Oh, till five, like to five points. I'm like, it's six o'clock. You're late. Is this the 24-hour clock that Kendrick is wanting to be? Um I want to throw this set out there too. As we're talking about, like we went off on a tangent with like birth control and even like um family units being whole and like how faith gets passed on generation to generation. I thought this was an interesting stat. Babies born to Muslims will begin to outnumber Christian births by the year 2035. Less than 10 years. Wow, less than the fact, okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:52

The fact that 2035 is less than 20 years away. That's almost more shocking.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:57

Yeah, I know. 2030. What? 20, like it'll be 2030. Oh my goodness, in four years. That's a trip.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:04

What does that even mean?

SPEAKER_02 1:20:05

I know.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:07

What don't handle it? How many times I'm gonna have to correct me writing the date of not writing two? That is wild. Yeah, I mean, it's honestly less shocking than the statistic because I'm not yeah. I mean, it's it's the fastest growing belief system because they are intentional about growing it. Because what happens And about giving Western women the freedom to do whatever they want with their body. I know.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:38

I mean, case in point though, because like really so if we all right, we started the podcast with sharing the stat of like the high percentage of people that are Christian simply because they were born in a Christian home. And then how that number has dwindled because the retention is not there. Now we're not talking about it, and now we're just like opening all the doors, like you choose and you make the decision. So now the conversations are maybe slowing down because we're just giving too much margin. I think parameters and boundaries, and even let's just, I mean, let's just say precepts and commandments are there for protection, not because you have to do this, but it's also there. Those who dwell in the shadow of the those who dwell, what is Psalm 91? Let me go to it. Okay, because I don't want to Psalm 91. I want to say one. I refer to this so much. I feel like I should just maybe I need to get this tattooed on my two. He who dwells in the shelter of the most high will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. He who dwells, who so he who just abides and is with and stays connected to the vine, is with the Lord, talks about God, is in his faith, walks it out. What will happen? You'll abide in the shadow of the Almighty. You will stay under the protective shade of the Almighty. And so went off on a tangent there. But okay, so like what happens when now you're not born in a Christian home? Now you have the option to step outside of the shadow of the Almighty. I'm sorry, but if I step outside of that protective shade, please tell me to come back in. Yeah. I don't want you to be like, oh, choose any door, pick any door, walk through that.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:34

We want you to make it your choice.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:35

Yeah. And then we're in other religions where they're like, so like Muslims, for example, if a Muslim man is even dating a uh Jewish or Christian woman, they actually say it's okay because they know it's required once they marry that they have to convert.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:53

And that way when they have children, their children will also carry out the same faith. Right? Why don't Christians like I don't know, is like we even talked about before how it almost is weird when people are like, oh, um, so for example, like Mormons, like, oh, they just have a bunch of kids because they're Mormons.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:16

But honestly, like there's something to that.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:19

Yeah. And and don't it's not a popularity contest. It's not about who's got the biggest numbers because we're we're more popular, right? That's not what it is. It's it is we it's the great commission. Yeah, you and I like the great commission to go and make disciples out of out of the nations, but also like we just want everybody to know Jesus. Yeah. We we care about people's souls. We want you to know Jesus. One, I want you to feel that type of love here and now, right now, that you can have in this moment, not just eternity, but in this moment. It's not like, oh, well, we need to go populate so that we can have better numbers and bigger numbers, and like, oh, I'm upset because in in nine years there's we're gonna be outnumbered by a different belief system. No, that's not it. It is just sad to me when people don't know Jesus. Right. That and that is back to part of the enemy's plan. Like breaking up the family, making people not know Jesus, making people think he doesn't exist. And like, thank God, literally, thank you, God, thank you, Jesus, praise the Lord for our mothers. Yes, you and I, our mothers who are out here, like also, like you said, forerunners, contenders, intercessors, leading the pledge for our fa for their families. And keeping it like keeping keeping the generational faith going, increasing the generational faith. And like passing the torches to us, really, honestly. And I pray to I pray to God I can I I get to be a mother so I can do the same thing. Right.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:11

And we want the next generation to be better than the last. Yeah. So how can you do that? Like to continue to I think one of the important things to remember too is in order for there to be an outpouring, you really have to have your own time in the secret place. You know? Did you hear that?

SPEAKER_03 1:25:38

Yeah. It's either Kendrick and Frankie or an owl. I'm like, I was gonna say it sounds like an owl. It might be Kendrick acting like an owl.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:50

It might be Frankie acting like an owl. Um, but yeah, in order for there to be an outpouring or even revival, you know, you think about an overflow, there has to be something inside of you first for it to overflow and to hit others. Yeah. Even I was thinking about like um when we gather and we just feel like such a presence of the spirit, I think that is from the outpouring and the overflow of a number of people in that space that have had such intimate time in their secret place that it's able to overflow and fill the atmosphere, even, you know. And you know, I just but so tying that into like generations, like there has to be that overflow and outpouring so that I could go generationally, generationally, and just like how powerful that is, but also that God is so kind that He would even redeem and restore and um just like heal the healing that happens and how we talk about how there's seeds within us. We have to I don't know the number of times that I sit in a place of gratitude where I'm like I know these are from seeds that my mom planted. Yeah, that these are from seeds because I know that my mom has prayed for me as a baby. And so I'm just super grateful for that, and not just from our moms, but even just other people around us.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:22

I would even say like the women in my bloodline, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:29

Yeah, yeah, that's actually really powerful to think about and immediately places me in like a position of gratitude. And so, shout out to our moms. Shout out, mom. Yes, happy Mother's Day, mom. Happy Mother's Day, the greatest gift. I could cry right now. The greatest gift that I have.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:53

Oh, I was gonna make a joke, but you're being really sentimental.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:57

But just the greatest gift that we could give. anyone and the greatest gift that I have ever received from being a daughter is watching you pray and worship and that has been an overflow that has hit me and has now um it's producing fruit I've learned from that and now it's hitting my son and the way that that is going to and the way that we often say like ripple effects affect other people around us and the generations to come that is a force that cannot be stopped from God. Um and truly out how sovereign our God is that he can take those little seeds and just give it even breathe a moment and how powerful that is and how that changes us entirely. I cannot imagine I'm just like I'm super grateful for specifically the women in our life for other like women in my life even you just girlfriends you know where we can share that faith and we can just like pour into each other's lives and like yeah just a generational impact.

SPEAKER_03 1:29:16

It watching somebody else walk with the Lord is empowering. It it it's impactful just watching it yeah as somebody even if you're not super close so us watching our moms the way we watch each other the way your son watches you right the way just watching people walk with with Jesus and it doesn't always have to be perfect it's usually not perfect. Right we need him to keep hold of our right hand all the time because we can't do it. We can't do any of it but even in just like the way the world sees us too like we are we're always we're a recommendation letter right the way we live our lives and we're we are who we are because of because God decided to birth us to our mothers for our mothers to say and do and think and feel and act the way that they did to have us carry that on to give us the eyes that see and there is an intentionality to that with our brothers too. And I think that that's something specific we can we're we're going on that that is a private conversation.

SPEAKER_02 1:30:41

Yeah but I do think there is something there too yeah yeah so keep your eyes open in the spirit keep your ears open learn to recognize we said this in the last episode the voice of God the voice of the enemy and your own voice and even in the way that maybe the enemy has tried to come for your family whether it's siblings whether it's your relationship with your parents whether it's your own children because how powerful it is to be a whole family unit and what that looks like and the force that it has in ways that we cannot even imagine or think it is far beyond our understanding and knowledge the plan that God has.

SPEAKER_03 1:31:28

If you think your mom is extreme stop to ask yourself first are you lukewarm that's really good all right happy Mother's Day we'll end it there.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:39

Yay cheers guys that's great do you want to pray? Yeah is it my turn or your turn I think it's my prayer thank you Heavenly Father for another episode Lord and we just ask you Lord that you will just continue to just give the increase and to pour into us to give us the patience Lord even when we don't understand so we just thank you Father we thank you for every providence every detail every event all the relationships in our life Father God that you're working through them Lord that you are working behind the scenes behind the curtains whether we recognize it or not Lord and I just I want to lift up every woman that is listening um we just thank you for the godly design within them we thank you for generational impact whether they are a mom whether they are a daughter um we just thank you father God because women honestly we're built different um Lord Jesus we're we're grateful and honestly I'm falling short of words I'm just super grateful. And so we just thank you Father and I just ask you Lord that those that listen today that they receive something from you that you would anoint our words that you would continue to anoint our words and that there will be a shift in the atmosphere that you would reveal to them what their next step is. If there is anything that we are holding on to whether it's bitterness or unforgiveness Lord that we are not ignorant to the schemes of the devil Lord our eyes are open and I just thank you Holy Spirit that you are our helper and that we are fully equipped because you redeem us that you are the one to restore and redeem us and reconcile us back to you Father God we just praise you we thank you in advance for all the answered prayers Lord in Jesus' name amen.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:33

Amen