Saddle Talk with Sandy and Cara
'Saddle Talk with Sandy and Cara' is hosted by two saddle sisters, keeping you company one ride at a time. We discuss life, love, horses of course, and all the unexpected turns along the trail.
Saddle Talk with Sandy and Cara
So You Think You Want A Horse
This week on Saddle Talk with Sandy and Cara, we sit down with Darlene Harman. Darlene Harman has been riding, training, and teaching for over 35 years — a true horsewoman through and through. The heart and soul of Ride Your Horse Therapeutic Riding Program, where she’s helped countless riders find healing, confidence, and joy in the saddle. Her gift lies in matching each rider to the perfect horse, and her decades of wisdom reveal what it really takes to build trust — one hoofbeat at a time.
In 2015, Darlene Harman offered one of her therapeutic riding horses, Mr. Pibb, to be used for the Special Olympics World Games. His two athletes from the countries of Italy and Bahrain, both took home Gold, Silver and Bronze in the three events they entered — a proud moment that sums up a lifetime of heart, hard work, and horsemanship.
So saddle up and join us for “So You Think You Want a Horse,” where Darlene shares her wisdom on what to look for in a horse, what to expect once you’ve got one, and what it really means to earn a horse’s trust.
Clip flop goes the trail, sun is rising high. Two gals in the saddle neath the big Nevada sky, laughing and chatting as the desert rolls on by. It's Saddle Talk. Come along for the ride.
Speaker 4:Welcome, listeners, to Saddle Talk with Sandy and Cara. Whether you're here to laugh with us, learn, or just ride along, you're in for a really good time. So go grab your helmet or your pooper scooper and settle in with us as we discuss life, horses, of course, and all the unexpected turns along the trail. And hey, whether you're a seasoned cowgirl or you're still learning, remember, we're sharing our own stories and opinions based on decades of personal experience. Always ride safe and check with a professional before trying anything new. Now let's go ride. Hi Cara! What up, Sandy?
Speaker 2:How's your day?
Speaker 4:Good. Really good, actually. Got some really good news lately.
Speaker 2:Which was what?
Speaker 4:Probably gonna get a promotion. Yay! Kind of fucking exciting.
Speaker 2:But nobody knows what you do, so they can't really know.
Speaker 4:And that's okay. Because we don't really discuss private information. Yeah. No, we just don't. But I'm gonna get a promotion, maybe possibly, so I'm super excited in jazz.
Speaker 2:Yay, that's awesome.
Speaker 4:I know. Thanks, friend. You've been an amazing partner in all of that because you've been waiting for my ass while I finish my degree.
Speaker 2:I know. And I've been having to find people to ride with, so it's been hard, but I've suffered through. You have? Yes, I have.
Speaker 4:So today we have an amazing guest.
Speaker 2:We do.
Speaker 4:And today's topic is so you think you want a horse? Do you? Do you?
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 4:Do you really want a horse? Right. Are you sure?
Speaker 2:Exactly.
Speaker 4:Are you sure you want that horse?
Speaker 2:Today we have with us Darlene Harmon. I met Darlene when somebody was going to give me a free horse that was a two-year-old male, not even cut. It was free. And I needed to figure out how to deal with horses, and I found you through the therapeutic writing program that you have. I remember walking up to you and saying, Hey, someone's gonna give me a horse. I don't want you to tell me no. I want you to teach me how to do it safely, and that's why I'm here. And you looked at me like, who the fuck is this girl? She is fucking crazy. That is what kind of bleeds into. So you think you want a horse. You're an amazing horsewoman. You have done so much. I've learned so much from you. You have gotten me all my horses, and they've all been amazing. And I know that other people come to you.
Speaker 1:People will come and ask me, I'm looking for a horse, or I want a horse, or can you help my friend get a horse? And I think I'm referred because of the background of having a therapeutic riding program and entrusting individuals' lives with disabilities to use the horse as a tool to help them better their life and not hinder their life, right? It's used to better them. When I get asked that question, can I help? There's several different things that I say, absolutely I can help if it's helpable. Right. If it's helpable. What do you mean by helpable? And the helpable means is that are they realistic in their expectations of what they want?
Speaker 2:Like, I want a 20-year-old horse that has one eye and is, you know, on its deathbed. Because I remember when I was looking on my own, I was like, Darlene, I found this great horse. It only has one eye, but I think it's gonna be okay. It's like 21. And it's like you're like, no.
Speaker 1:Right, right. Because it wasn't that it wasn't the horse wasn't capable of being owned and loved by someone, right? It wasn't what you were looking for in your needs at the time of wanting to own a horse. That horse was absolutely not going to fit your needs. Correct.
Speaker 2:Because even the one that I did get broke down immediately. Because I thought, oh, I'm just gonna ride around the barn, and then I wanted more. Right.
Speaker 1:And then she broke down and we had to. She did. And I asked her, Sandy, how often are you riding the horse? Every day, okay. Well, how many? Three times a day, okay. Seven days a week, three times a day. Exactly. For an elderly horse. Like that's a lot, right?
Speaker 2:You know, so what do you ask them to gauge what kind of horse are they just in the my little pony stage, which I have mentioned on previous episodes? That's kind of what I say. But are they in the my little pony stage? You know, do they want flicka? Or do they want sea biscuit?
Speaker 1:How do you really it is asking them what first of all, what's their past history? What did they do? Did they ever own a horse before? Did they grow up with horses? Did why are they wanting a horse? What's the what's the passion of why they're wanting a horse? That really answers a lot of questions about that person. And then the second thing is again, there's the unrealistic part of expectations of what a horse can do for a human. Right.
Speaker 2:If the human doesn't do the work or the human doesn't have the knowledge of what do you do when you find someone a horse and then you find out that they don't have the knowledge that they said they told you that they do have, and they don't put in the work.
Speaker 1:Um, well, I don't own ownership of that. I have an example as any other sport or any other discipline or anything else. There's terminology involved in it, right? There's equipment that's involved in it. There's education that's involved in it. You don't just walk out and become the tennis pro. You don't just walk out and become the golf pro. You don't go jump on a 450 motorcycle, right? And do motocross.
Speaker 4:Because you're literally taking your life in your hands and then the people around you and your horse.
Speaker 1:the biggest thing that there's a misconception that I refer to all the time is that everyone refers to the horse as a dog.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 1:And that is not it. The horse is a horse is preyed upon. A horse is a herbivore, a horse is a deer, a horse is a rabbit, a horse is a sheep. A horse has two options. And 99% of the time it's flight. It's see you later. The other part is like, okay, I'll stand up and defend myself, I'll protect myself, I will, I will fight for my life, right?
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 1:A dog already owns it, just like we own it. There's flight in us. Right. But you know, majority of it is fight in us, right? We're hunters, right? So we hunt. We take it. The only thing that hunts a horse is everything. Is everything everything, but the blade of grass.
Speaker 4:Right. Why do you why do you think people over inflate their ability? Because I I feel like that's what I mean.
Speaker 1:Because it's majestic. It's beautiful, it's romantic. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:It looks easy. So we just talked about this today. Yeah. It looks easy. It does. Everyone can be the little boy on the black stallion running down that beach. Everyone can be that.
Speaker 4:Hunter for a site.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:In their mind, that is their vision. Every mind could do it. And and and I'm not saying for my past and what I did, my job is to prove there is no limits on you. Your mind is what controls your ability.
Speaker 2:So I think a question that a person needs to ask themselves when they think, oh, I want a horse, is how much effort and energy do you plan to give back into this horse? I understand from working under you the time and energy that it took for you to keep 10 horses safe for disabled people. So I learned that, you know, and then I I went and did some of my own research and things like that. I guess to anybody listening that thinks, oh, I want a horse and I've never had one, is what are you willing to give back to this horse?
Speaker 1:Yeah, what what is it to be honest? I think that's the biggest thing. You know, if you're gonna go out and go buy a boat, do you know how to steer a boat? Well, what do you know about a boat? So it's important. If you don't know anything, that doesn't mean that you can't learn. Right. So I would say if someone is wanting to do something very similar to what you did, uh it it doesn't have to be a therapeutic wedding. No, not at all. If you want to get a horse, invest time into that, into that research. Go down to a barn, go to a horse show, support horse shows. Right. Go in the you know, so there's all the different disciplines, right? You have Western in the Western world, you have you know seven different disciplines right now that are going pretty strong. You have the English world, you have horse polo, you have then you go into the dressage, so you can go into any horse show and be a spectator, watch, invest. We are so lucky right now with the internet, yeah. We're so lucky with YouTube, and you can really do your own homework at home. There's a thousand different clinicians that are out there that can tell you on any of those disciplines of what to do it, and it's overwhelming. We all joke when you walk into a barn or you walk, you know, you talk with another horse person, we're all experts.
Speaker 2:We're all experts.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we all got something to say. Oh, right?
Speaker 2:100%.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, that's it. You ain't doing that very well. You gotta do it this way. I do it this way. Oh my god. You know, like it's exhausting, it's intimidating. Yeah, and then everybody wants to give you their chapter, and then and and so a lot of people retreat from that, yeah. Right you know, but if it truly is something that that pulls at your heart and you find peace with it, just help yourself out and and be honest with yourself. What is your time allowance? Yes, yes what it what is your budget? Thank you. Not going not the budget of the horse. We need a list, right? It's not it's not a budget of the horse. No, because you can get a horse for free. Right, right, exactly. So I I always ask people, people say, How much is the horse? I said, I don't know. How much money do you have and how a car are you gonna get? Right. That's how much your horse is. You can buy the Ferrari. Can you drive the Ferrari? Right.
Speaker 2:100%. Can you pay for that Ferrari? Right. Right.
Speaker 1:What about your insurance? I mean, come on. Or do you need more like the Honda Civic? Right.
Speaker 2:Like when the Ferrari breaks down, can you really take it to the shop? Right. Or is it gonna sit in your fucking garage?
Speaker 1:So here's another point. You know, it's reality. For some reason, horses, we go back to it. It's like this people have the unrealistic conception of yeah, what what it really is. But it's super simple.
Speaker 4:What do you think it really is? Like, what do you think it really takes to own a horse and be a good horse owner?
Speaker 1:Continually to invest in education, continually grow, continually ask what can I do more? How can I learn more? And it's endless. I don't care how old you are, I don't care what discipline you do, the best person is always under the guidance and the influence of someone that they look up to. Find a mentor.
Speaker 2:When I was in SoCal and we were close by, Cara and I, and we've discussed this on previous episodes, how we met, how we became who we are together and what we mean to each other. Then when I went to another barn, we really lost touch. You've always been that consistent mentor for me. And then when I moved up here and you're down there, and Cara's up here, you know, I learned so much from Cara. She's got a really good eye as far as she can always tell me when there's something wrong with my horse. And sometimes, I hate it, I hate it. The other day I was fucking taking shooter to the round pen, and he is lazy. So I'm walking and he's like, I'm like dragging them behind me, and Cara's like, stop. Can you walk him? I was like, fuck. No, what is she seeing? It was like the face of dragon fucking Cara. You saw something else. What did you fucking see? But what happens is he drags his feet, you know. He drags his feet. And I think that I startled him. I think something I did something. Oh, I was spraying fly spray as I was walking. Yeah. Because he hates it, right? So I'm like just like trying to annoy him. And I think I startled him and he took a couple double steps, and I think that she just saw that out of the corner of the body.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I saw it kind of pop up and I'm like, oh shit. And then she walked him two steps. I was like, okay, you're good, bro. Just keep going. Oh my god.
Speaker 2:Because but but I count on that. I mean, I count on that because, like you say, you know, we're all always learning. And there are things, there's subtle things that I don't pick up on. You know, so now I feel like I have two great people in my life, and I really encourage people to run out there and find your mentors, find your people. But then you also, it's almost like raising children. You learn all this stuff about kids, and then you have to take a little bit from everywhere and make your own thing, right? Sure.
Speaker 4:So um it's like an art. Like it kind of goes back to what you were saying, where it's like that continuous education. In my brain, that's an artist. You're an artist. Can't even imagine the amazing mentors you had in your life to get and distill you into who you are and the horsewoman that you are. And that's what's happened to all of us is we all have this distillation of knowledge that helps us operate the way we want to in the horse world.
Speaker 2:So let me ask you a question. When a person is like, Oh, I want a horse, and they're all beautiful, all of them are beautiful. How important is knowing the breed that you're looking at? Because we do have a friend that went out, found this amazing horse, and I'll just say it, huge draft. What the job is for the draft really is ultimately just to become a trail horse. How important is the breed that you're looking at? If I'm I want this amazing horse and I and I buy a big ass draft, is that gonna goes back to like know what you want to do with your horse?
Speaker 1:Well, there's the stereotypes, we all have stereotypes and everything. Uh, I think the Mustang is a is a perfect animal to show it has proven to be universal. It is proven the Mustang, they feel like, oh, it's be great for a trail horse, but no, it really can be a jumper. So it goes to confirmation. Right. Yes, it absolutely goes to confirmation of the animal of what you're wanting it to do. So I wouldn't get hung up on the breed, I would get more hung up on the physical confirmation of the horse of what you are wanting that animal to do. And is it physically possible for then mentally in the training of it? Like Max would not be the best horse for dressage. I mean, could I get them? Definitely not for jumping. Could I get him to definitely not for jumping? Maybe. Dressage, you might you might get a little float. Well, but I don't think you are not you are not doing six-foot fences on that one.
Speaker 2:Well, I have a lot of people tell me that I should not do Jim Cannon with Autumn, who is a Missouri foxtrotter. I have a lot of people tell me not to do that, but we had fun. I wasn't looking to be the best.
Speaker 1:But it was a risk because they're they're gated, they work on one side.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So when you're turning the barrel, they're not going through a diagonal.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but the barrel was only one aspect of Right.
Speaker 1:So the gated, a gated doing poles is perfect. Oh, okay. She didn't do she did get the tight turn. I got this. Yeah, she got the turn. They can run a poles all day long. When you're building around the barrel. And they got two lights. Right. You know, not no no one going.
Speaker 2:When we did the one where we just went, well, when we did the one that we just went straight down around the barrel and came back, she was actually for the division I was in.
Speaker 1:Yeah, if you make a wide turn, you got it.
Speaker 2:I was in the lower, like I was in the low, like the little kids one, right?
Speaker 1:So it beat out all the little kids. So again, there's there's not a limit, right? There's so I have a really good friend that has a beautiful, beautiful, just incredible Freezer. Incredible show horses. She's an incredible horsewoman. And her trail horse, which was a draft cross, a PMU, his name was Big and Naughty, and he was so big and naughty. He was so amazing. The best husband horse, grandma horse, whatever, right? So she wrote him all the time and our women's writing group, and there's like 150 members. So when we go out, it's a lot, it's a lot. Especially if everyone shows up, right? It's a lot, it's just a lot of energy, a lot of things. So he was at a point that he no longer could do it, and she knew it. But she had her Frisian mayor that she just was like, I really feel like she can handle this, but I don't want to put her in that big situation prior to I want to make sure she's safe, right? I want to be safe for me, safe for everyone else. And so she asked, can we? Our biggest thing was water crossing. We had some, we always, wherever we go, whether it's on a cattle ranch or wherever we're at, we're crossing water. It's just pretty much everyone needs to be. And now you have this big Friesian f that's these big feet. Oh, right. You're splashing, it's a big it's a lot. So uh any gated horse has a lot of movement behind it, it sounds different. So they'll say the gated horses and the flat footers, basically. It's you have a lot of sound to very little, and then a fFriesian has a really big you have the ground shake beneath you, yeah, and then you have the the after effect, right? Of what that looks like. It's a lot, yeah, it's intimidating, and a lot of horses are like, oh shh, like crap. I'm what the hell's coming up behind me, right? Like the little, you know, yeah, that's not a little bit of a little bit of a little shiny sparks, like pew, you know. They're on the little raining horse, and it's like two left to the red. Shit's going mad real fast, you know. So she was like, I don't want to be that girl. I feel like my horse is capable of doing all this, but I don't want to be. So she got a lot of flack. A lot of flack. Trail riding her fFriesian ? Yeah. Because yeah, it was it really was. It was like my horse can't be anywhere near that horse. It freaks the horse out. So she came to me and she goes, What do I do? I said, nowhere in the bylaws. So you can't have a non-gated horse or a gated horse. Like it's not in the bylaw. As a group, we got to figure this out, right? Because same thing, a different friend brought in a mule. So, same thing, the same effect. It's all good until it brays. It's all good until and doesn't until until it doesn't look like a horse. Until you're riding the zebra, right? We're the horses, right? It's a big difference.
Speaker 4:And and for our listeners who don't know, yeah, horses look at mules and donkeys and they sometimes will freak the F out. Right. Like they they look at it and they think it's a predator because its eyes are literally in the wrong spot.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 4:So they think it's gonna come eat them. Yes, and the ears are huge, and it's gonna come eat them because it can stare at them the way that you and I can stare at them and think dinner.
Speaker 1:And they don't they don't nicker, they don't speak the same language. They look it, but they're not similar.
unknown:Right.
Speaker 1:It's kind of like going to France. Well here we are.
Speaker 2:We I should receive France, just wherever, wherever. It's cooking is a different culture, and you go there, you don't speak the language, they don't speak your language, and you're looking at each other like, what the hell?
Speaker 1:Right. I think going back to it, she asked me to help her get herself and her horse ready to do that, and blown doors. She won in our sorting up at V6 in Parkfield. Blown doors has proved absolutely that that breed of a horse is universal. Yeah, that's amazing. Majestic, yeah, beautiful, universal.
Speaker 2:Yep, she came camping at her wedding that I went to, and the minute her and her husband got on those FFriesian , they look like bookends, and they look like they should be riding into battle. Yeah, I mean, they're just the most beautiful, sweet.
Speaker 1:These horses were so sweet. It was just really so it really goes into not necessarily the breed of the animal, it's the writer, the work that you're working out the work, the education that you have to invest in. It's an investment. Well, and there's an investment for your life. That's a 1,200-pound animal.
Speaker 4:Well, and I think the other thing too is I think of it like a hippo in the backyard. Yeah. If you have a hippo in the backyard, yeah, don't take it for granted.
Speaker 1:And I think the other thing too that it can be a deer and a rabbit in 2.5 seconds. Right.
Speaker 2:But the other thing I think that people don't think about. Sorry, no, no, we need to have humor in this though. You guys go for it. I keep trying to go like, no, we need to deer and a hippo. It's okay. You guys keep talking about your deer.
Speaker 4:Deer and a rabbit. No, so go.
Speaker 2:No, what I was gonna say is I think the other thing that people need to think about is maintenance. So you think you want a horse, like you said back at the beginning, what's your budget?
Speaker 4:Monthly.
Speaker 2:Let's just pretend the horse is free. Because Karen and I, and I know you have too, have gotten some free horses. I had a nonprofit. People gave them to me. How long did you do it? So here's this free horse.
Speaker 1:I didn't take them. They had a criteria that they had to meet before I take them.
Speaker 2:So here's this free horse, and we'll get back to that in a second because I think that might be very valuable. What is your budget for food? Are you gonna put it at a barn? Can you afford that? And there are politics at a barn, there's assholes at a barn. You're gonna be watched and judged the whole entire time. Can you handle that personally? You know, is that gonna ruin your self-esteem and now you never go visit your horse? Barn is a boarding facility.
Speaker 1:Just so everyone knows. Yes. Country people have barns.
Speaker 2:No, and and thank you for that out because we don't know who's listening. If anyone's gonna listen, this could just be for us. I don't know. Not wrong. I don't know. It makes us happy. Yeah, it keeps our husbands away. Because I saw I saw mine come out and look, and then I was like, oh, they're out there talking about their fun. Let me go make some noise around the house. Like, you know, turning the trailer around. But I need him to turn the trailer around, so I can't give him on. Okay, go back on. What can you afford? Are you confident enough to tell people to F off if they come and start judging you? Are you gonna keep your horse at your house? What are you gonna do when you go on vacation? I mean, like, there's so many things that when you're just like in La La Land, you're like, I want a horse. And you don't think about those things. But let's go back to what your criteria was because we did an episode on free horses, and there are people out there that will give out free horses. So, what is your criteria when you were offered a free horse for the therapeutic riding program?
Speaker 1:What was your criteria? A formula that I created. If I had the horse do certain things, it was green light, yellow light, red light. So reds was biting, kicking, without cribbing. No. Okay, you you were okay with cribbing? Yeah. Crib doesn't affect me. Performance. Oh, oh, I'm sorry, okay. So those were my reds. My reds were taking a problem horse and trying to make it do something that only set it up for failure.
Speaker 4:Right.
Speaker 1:And and cause risk to others. Where my job was not to risk the human, it was to better the human. So those were very clear of the reds.
Speaker 2:Okay, so you go to a facility and you're looking at a horse, you're just waiting for it to be a good thing.
Speaker 1:So if I come to somebody?
unknown:No, no, no.
Speaker 1:If I come to your house and you say, I have to move, my life's around. Right, here I want you to take Max. Yeah. I have I have a horse. I feel like he would be really great with kids. He loves everyone. So when I show up, I give them a whole questionnaire that they had to fill out. How long did you own the horse? What did you do with the horse? Blah blah blah. Like all the things that we already went through. And then when I showed up, I had my own. So it was hopefully people were listening to it and not doing it. Please don't bug the horse before I get there. Please don't put any calming supplements, anything that's gonna alter the horse. Let the horse be in its natural state. And then I would observe them. They are going to be my volunteer. They're going to be my student. But they're not going to be able to do that. Go get your horse. Yeah, go get. I want to watch you with your routine with your horse. So based upon whatever they filled out, I would already know right away if they were answering things honestly. Okay.
Speaker 4:Do you remember any of your oranges and greens?
Speaker 1:Yeah, the biggest green for me was a horse that showed willingness to try to understand what you were wanting it to do. So the moment that the horse, whatever it was, I wanted to walk over a pole, I was gonna send it through the gate instead of lead it through the gate. I wanted it to back up. I don't care what it was. Whatever I was asking to redirect the horse's movement, to be clear with that, when I wanted it to direct the movement or redirect the movement, if any horse gave me the sign of release of trying and understanding, which is a blink of an eye, it's an exhale of the things, licking, chewing, lower the head. The moment that they showed me that they were trying to understand without a huge reaction of defense was green. Awesome. It gave me try, it gave me willingness, and it showed me that someone didn't abuse that trust prior to. They handled it correctly.
Speaker 4:That's an excellent point. So this horse has a history of positive interactions with humans and trust humanity normally.
Speaker 1:Or or or no one fucked it up. Okay, so no one even touched it. So it has no idea. It's never been abused. Awesome. It's just trying to learn. So it doesn't even have to have that. So my biggest thing of age was no younger than five, no older than twelve.
Speaker 2:And for a green person, what's a good age for a green person? What?
Speaker 4:She said that's why she still has them all because they were always between five and twelve.
Speaker 3:Oh.
Speaker 4:And how many years has it been since you stopped?
Speaker 1:Uh well, I found it in 2001.
Speaker 4:Okay.
Speaker 1:And I stopped in 2016.
Speaker 4:Okay.
Speaker 1:And my oldest horse in that in my therapy. So my promise to those horses was that they were to retire with me. They gave me their well, I can't even say that because that's all human logic and human thinking. If they were able to provide everything that I put into them and then put into me in return, right? The gift in return, that I would never relinquish them unless I was putting them in a better home that I could provide.
Speaker 4:That's magic. And commendable. Very commendable.
Speaker 1:Ask my husband that.
Speaker 2:Seven horses later.
Speaker 1:Seven horses later. When I stopped in 2016, we have 14 horses. He paid for a boarding facility for three months. He's like, uh, I could do this for about three months, be hard, and then if not, I'm shooting myself in the head. I just can't do it. I just can't. I can't. And isn't that funny?
Speaker 2:Shooting himself in the head, not the horses.
Speaker 1:No, no, not at all, right? He's like, I'm tapping out my life insurance, mind me, you know. I don't know if we'll figure it out. Take me on the trail right and I won't come home.
Speaker 2:That's not true. That's not how you handle things. To anybody listening. We do not promote that.
Speaker 4:That's self-sacrificing. It's beautiful.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah. No, it was realistic. It goes realistic to your budget. It goes realistic to what you can do. So this goes into this. Oh my gosh, this happens all the time. This happens all the time. Really in the dog world. I'm moving, and where I'm moving, I cannot take my dog.
Speaker 4:I knew you were gonna say this. I knew it. Because it's a theme, right? In the horse world, it's a theme uh uh through no fault of its own.
Speaker 1:Yes, I understand, but it's it's not a car, right?
Speaker 2:It's not a boat, it's not it's not in the half the time it's a 20 year old horse who's been living his life with one person and whatever herd it has, if it has one. So I I and then they want to move it somewhere. But that's okay.
Speaker 1:I mean, I I do have to say, like, it's okay to have a step up. It's okay that for crap's sake, look at. Texas with the flooding. Shit happens. You have fire, you have disaster, you have, but we're not talking about No, no, no. But I'm just saying it well, you don't know. You don't, you know what I mean? I don't know what that person's going through. Correct. That's what I'm saying. So someone that's taking the horse and putting the horse at the auction, I don't ever judge that person for why they put that horse there. I commend them. They're giving them something. I mean, if they've exhausted everything.
Speaker 4:Right, every avenue is exhausted. Here's your last chance, horse.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I hope I hope you make it. Yeah. Right? There's that. Because taking it and starving it is un unforgivable.
Speaker 4:I think that's the fear of the world.
Speaker 1:I feel like people don't really understand that. They get to a point, they financially cannot afford it, they physically cannot do it, they don't reach out for help in time, and then the horse suffers. Immensely.
Speaker 4:How many horses have you rescued out of that situation? Yeah, I knew you were gonna do that. I knew you were gonna have that face. I totally understand. Shooters won.
Speaker 2:Small. He was on the brink. He wasn't starving. Like he wasn't at that point where he was mistreating.
Speaker 1:No, he was gonna go to slaughter, going to Mexico.
Speaker 4:My first horse was skin and bones. I brought back.
Speaker 1:I mean, I would say probably very comfortable for me personally rehabilitating six that I know. Six I did. But I have a really great friend down in Baja that has um all the pretty horses in Baja. And she's absolutely amazing. Crystal. Yeah, Crystal Cates. And she has her rescue. And so in the US, we find horses and malnutrition, and it's bad. I would say worse more in the middle to eastern states than the western states. I mean it it can be bad, but you go into the third world country, you go into Mexico, and that one in particular, you know, everyone's trying to just survive. Right? In in one way or another. And the animal truly is the tool to help them survive. So the moment that the animal becomes unusable, the moment that the animal becomes unserviceable, they're not gonna starve to feed that horse.
Speaker 3:Right. Right. Right?
Speaker 1:It's a difference, you know? And then there's it's not ignorance, it's just culturally, you know, not and it's not necessarily Mexico. I'm just saying anyway, and any area that that is a reality, yeah, it it becomes their norm. Yeah, it's a norm, you know, and and and there's norms in many different things. So it's not shocking. Yes, it's not shocking. Right, right? Because you see it, and we all do that in all different things. So what she does is bring back horses literally that you cannot even fathom that that animal can come back. And not only does she bring it back, obviously physically, but then if it goes through everything physically to ab, it becomes then a horse that is used for riding there and their trails, and then she re-homes it to then go and get another one. Right. And it's phenomenal. The before and after is you you can't, you cannot put it into terms of what she does.
Speaker 3:Right, right.
Speaker 1:She was a 17-year-old girl that went down to Mexico from Texas to go surf, to hang out, and saw a horse on the side of the road starving. Wow. And then that became her life's mission.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 4:Wow.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So there's a lot to really consider when you're like, oh, I want a horse, I want a horse.
Speaker 1:Because I think we all get the horse. But invest, but invest in what you're wanting. Go get the career. Right. Go be whatever you want to be. Invest in yourself to be the best that you can. I love that you said that, right?
Speaker 4:Because then it'll put you on that level so then you can invest time and money. And that was my path. I love that you said that because I I had to choose. I was in my early 20s and I was like, do I become a horse trainer or do I become a professional? And I was like, I'm gonna become a professional because if I'm a horse trainer, I don't know if I'm gonna love the grind. Because the grind is real, and I didn't know if that was gonna be something that I would want, and so now that's what I do for fun. Yeah. Versus it becoming a job. And I love what you said about what was the organization again? Oh, uh pretty horses. All the pretty horses are pretty horses of the Baja. I, you know, personally, I'm just I don't think I'll ever own a horse that's not a rescue for the rest of my life. Like I just I've seen that place, and then there's love your horse.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 4:Between the two, I've just fallen in love, and I've always rescued horses, anyways, like we rescued those Arabs. Right. And I think that there's a part of the equestrian industry where like there are these breeders and it's this high sport thing, and good for them. That's what they want to do.
Speaker 1:Right. So if that's what you're you're what you're saying, if that's what your passion is, whatever it is, whatever your heart's pulling to, whatever you feel like it is, go invest. Yes, give it back.
Speaker 2:Yes, give it back, yeah. But invest, don't just walk into it blindly, like, oh, I see a pretty horse and I want a horse. Do the research.
Speaker 1:Yeah, go to learn volunteer, like you did. Yeah, go help, go down to a rescue, go help. If that rescue doesn't fit on your G go to another one, don't give it up. There's so much that's out there that you can really do on top of all the stuff that you can learn through YouTube and social media and everything. There's so much.
Speaker 4:I'm so jealous of what generations.
Speaker 1:Although it's possible because nobody knows the crap because someone could get really dirty with me. You know what I mean? I can get in the dirt. You know what? I don't know if a YouTuber can get in the dirt.
Speaker 2:I don't I don't need people to see pictures of me when I was 18. We don't need that.
Speaker 4:We're lucky in ways.
Speaker 1:Do you have any other questions? So you think you want a horse? Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 4:Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely you want one.
Speaker 4:It's made my life.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh. Absolutely, made all of ours. Absolutely, you do go do it.
Speaker 4:Invest in yourself. And I like what you said about researching and having a heart to heart with yourself. What do you want to do? Yeah. I feel like that was so poignant for me. You said that. Because I think I started as a young person thinking I was gonna be competitive, and in reality, I just want to be around them, right? And as your life goes by, like your goals change. Yeah, and now all I want to do is hang out with you and Sandy and go ride ponies in the hills. And that's different. And the horse that I'm open to was much different than the horse that I had when I was in my 20s. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Because you grew up with Air uh Arabians. Arabians. So that was your and that's a pretty crazy ass horse, Arabians.
Speaker 4:You say that. It's their muscles.
Speaker 1:They have like the the one of the girls that I mentored in therapeutic writing, my last one, does all approve therapeutic writing on Arabians. Does she?
Speaker 4:Yeah, they are so smart, they're like people.
Speaker 1:It's amazing. Are they like dogs?
Speaker 4:No. No. And I think people say they're like a couple of things. Yeah. Because they can turn around fast. They have really short backs, and they are like they call it handy. And because I think they're so handy, people spun off of them. Yeah. And so then that's why they're crazy and they're wicked smart. They'll get through locks. My grandma's horse used to get out of it all the time. He's an Arab.
Speaker 2:So we had a fun day at Washoe today. We went to Washoe Lake.
Speaker 4:Okay.
Speaker 2:And I she hasn't been there yet. So we were kind of looking for Mustangs. I was hoping we wouldn't find any, but it would have been kind of fun to see some. It's kind of a hit or miss, you know. You just don't know what's gonna happen with those Mustangs because they get very curious. Oh, so what she was talking about earlier. Oh yeah. We ran on the beach. Because one of my dreams. Dreams is to canter better. I'm just not I get nervous. She had even asked me, you know, what makes you nervous? And I'm like falling off. And she's like, oh, okay, because some most people are like the horse falling. And I don't ever even think about that, which now I will, but I don't ever really think about that. I mean brought in your mind. Thank you for that new anxiety. Just do them all. Thank you so much. Enjoy your ride. So, but it was You're such a bitch. So but it was so fun though, because what we did was we were along the water and she's teaching me, just so people understand, when I met Darlene, she was the owner of the business. She I became her volunteer coordinator, so she was kind of like my boss, but I didn't get paid.
Speaker 1:Volunteer.
Speaker 2:Right, right. Well, of course. It's all in volume. Of course, volunteer. No. But if you're a really smart volunteer, you get in good with the owner and then they do shit for you. Like that's the key. That's right. I never said the big was a good one. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. All joking aside, all joking aside, if you're gonna volunteer and you want a horse, you need to get in good with the owner of that because I need to invest. You need to freaking invest. And there's so many silly things that you remember. I remember Physically, if you can do financially. Because before okay, so here was my first experience. I was with a volunteer, and we she had Calvin on it. He was the uh gray paint. I remember, and he had been impaled as a young horse on one side, and they got him through it. He what but he had an issue, right? I didn't know about that issue. So I'm in his in his stall with another volunteer who'd been there for a while, and I'm helping her get him ready, and I'm standing on his bed side. Darlene is teaching a lesson all the way across in the covered arena, and she sees me, and she's like, Sandy, you're on the wrong side! And I was like, Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I was so irritated by the end of my shift. I was like, Darlene, why didn't that volunteer tell me? I understand your mama bear. I missed we're all the same, right? Yeah, I understand that. Thank you for being that person and helping you. But why didn't and she's like, you know, Sandy, that's a really good point. Do you want to be my volunteer coordinator? I love it. I said, can I yell at the volunteer? She's like, absolutely.
Speaker 4:What matchmade in heaven.
Speaker 2:So the first thing I did was tell these old volunteers, you have got to mentor the new volunteer. Because that girl should have told me, Sandy, you're on the wrong side. Come over here. And she didn't. And then the other thing I remembered was I could not be a lead until I had passed, you know, her criteria, whether it was on paper or in her head. But she had her own criteria. So one of the things I knew was I had to learn the pattern, the kind of pattern that she would do with some of the people. And I remember walking, and you were sitting there just watching me. I think we were getting ready for a lesson, and she was waiting for her student. And I looked at her and I said, I'm gonna make you love me. I'm gonna make you love me because this is happening. And she looked at me like, okay, you're fucking weird. Like, this is either a bad situation or a good situation. No, you're either a volunteer or a student. Yeah, you're either a volunteer or a student, like, this bitch is crazy. Or an investor. Yeah, yeah. So, but but but that's but my goal, but my goal was to like just be the very best. And then I remember taking a lesson from you, and then she always made us ride in those fucking English saddles. I hate English saddles. And I remember I went on a ride somewhere else, and I remember riding an English saddle. No, I'm not. She took it back. So I remember going, hey, I remember texting you, Darlene. I feel really great in a Western saddle. She's like, Nope, bitch, you're English. I'm like, oh my god.
Speaker 4:Oh, I love that.
Speaker 2:But but that but that's what you have to do when it comes to investing. You have to find your goal, you set your intentions, and make it happen and be positive about it. And eventually I told you, I remember one time telling you, can you please stop just being my teacher and be my friend? Can I think we were on a trail ride or something, and I don't think I was doing anything. Obviously, I want anyone to tell me if I'm doing something really stupid. Absolutely. I think it was just little stuff, and I was just like, okay, yeah. I can just like let's just be let's just be. Yeah, yeah. You know, and I could have blown, I could have blown that. That could have been a point where you're like, bitch, you right? Like, but you didn't. No, but that's what I'm saying, is like you said before, set your intentions, think about what your goal is, don't make hasty decisions, don't buy that one-eyed horse. No, you know, wait for someone that can help you. If that one-eyed horse is your fit, okay.
Speaker 4:But do your research first, don't just go, hey! And I think like any relationship you build with a professional, you're gonna have like gatekeeper sense to it.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 4:So like the way that she was gatekeeping for you, making sure that you said transitioning from student to volunteer or volunteer to whatever. Whatever. Yeah, you're writing inside joke. But yes, it's yeah, like that, having that gateway, I think that happens at the beginner level everywhere. And if you have some professional that isn't your gatekeeper and isn't gatekeeping your safety, walk away, walk far, run, go to someone who really does make you work. As much as you're not investing, make sure they're invested in you.
Speaker 2:So, one of my things is I'm still not comfortable cantering.
Speaker 4:Okay.
Speaker 2:And so we were on the beach, and she set me up. We lined up, and she's like, Don't worry about the head, don't worry about how Max's neck is shorter than his. Let's just look at the shoulders, and we're gonna start at the walk, and then we're gonna go into the trot, and then we're gonna kiss, and we're gonna run. It was awesome. It was awesome. And the whole time, you know, she's like, Okay, shorten your reins, loosen them up, shorten your reins, loosen them up. You always have to be open to listening and learning when you know there's something you're not good at. Don't be so closed off that it's like, I know what I'm doing. It's like, no, you really don't. Be open to that. And I had so much fun today. Good. And we had a really, really great time. It was funny though, because what I did was I walked her. My plan was to walk her down to the fence line and then turn left and then catch catch the lake down at the very end. And she's like, I feel like we're getting really far away from the lake.
Speaker 1:I said, girl, we're just enjoying the ride. I just want to like directional. I'm like, we are riding away from the lake. Literally the opposite direction. Not really, because the whole lake is on the left. This is me growing up on the ranch. Like, uh, I don't know where your water is, but my water is over there.
unknown:Really?
Speaker 1:So I mean the day, you really want to ride to the water.
Speaker 2:But here is another, here, but here's another good thing too that was amazing because you know how Max, when he gets into that deep sand, he crossed because I had I had my darling with me. When we started walking up to where the sand was getting deeper, she stopped and she's like, Okay, here it's really we're transitioning from the hard pack into the soft, which is probably what freaks him out. Yeah. So here we are in like the middle. She's like, walk up, do a little figure eight, come back. And then we went up. Wonderful. And he did really well. There was one smidge of a second when we were going up that hill that he wanted to trot, and I kind of felt a little anxiety in him. And I was like, ooh, it's okay, it's okay, just walk. And he like straightened out, and he did great. Like he had no issues at all.
Speaker 4:Good job, Maxi Pim.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. So it was fun. It was good. The only thing that would have made it better was a bald eagle flying down and catching a fish. But that did not happen. Which it did happen to a friend of mine.
Speaker 1:That was for you, and for me, it would have been the herd of Mustangs, and I ran in. Maybe one little baby would follow me. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2:Fall aware into the back of the trailer. Free horse! Free horse trailers! So alrighty. Well, you know what, darling? I thank you so much for doing this. I know you had a little trepidation about doing this, but I hope it was comfortable for you. I know that we love having you and and talking with you and learning from you.
Speaker 4:Yeah, you were one at the top of my list. I really was hoping to get you on the podcast. Thank you. You're welcome. Thank you.
Speaker 2:Thanks for having me, Ladies. Absolutely. So that's it, everybody. I hope you enjoyed the episode. But if you have any questions, you're happy to, you know, we're happy to answer anything you have. And I don't know if Darlene would be open to anything, but if you have a question for Darlene, ask us. We'll send it to her. Maybe she can help you find a horse. I don't know.
Speaker 4:All right, everybody.
Speaker 1:Toodles, thank you. Bye.
Speaker 4:Hey friends, that's the end of today's ride. We hope you enjoyed listening. Don't forget to follow Saddle Talk with Sandy and Cara wherever you get your podcasts. Please leave us a review, share us with a friend, and saddle up with us next time as we ride through more stories, questions, and our wild tangents. Till then, friends, keep your boots dusty and your hard hats on. We hope to see you out on the trail.
Speaker:Sandy and Cara stir up swinging free, talking about life and love and mystery. From coyotes to coffee, they'll cover it all with the sagebrush blowing and the wild birds call. So cinch up your boots. We're hitting the track, saddle talks on, and we're not looking back.
Speaker:Things to Consider Before Buying a Horse 1. Realistic Expectations: * Understand the level of commitment and work involved. * Be realistic about what kind of horse you need based on your experience and goals. 2. Experience and Knowledge: * Assess your past experience with horses. * Consider taking lessons or volunteering to gain more knowledge before making a purchase. 3. Purpose of Ownership: * Determine why you want a horse. Is it for leisure riding, competition, therapy, or something else? 4. Time Commitment: * Ensure you have the time to care for and ride the horse regularly. 5. Budget: * Consider not just the purchase price of the horse but also ongoing costs such as food, boarding, vet care, farrier services, and other maintenance expenses. 6. Mentorship and Support: * Find a mentor or a knowledgeable friend to guide you through the process. * Be open to continuous learning and improvement. 7. Breed and Suitability: * Research different breeds and understand their characteristics and suitability for your intended use. * Consider the horse’s age, health, and training level. 8. Physical Ability and Health of the Horse: * Check for any physical or health issues. * Ensure the horse is capable of performing the activities you intend to do with it. 9. Emotional and Physical Preparedness: * Be prepared for the emotional and physical demands of horse ownership. * Understand that horses are prey animals and can be unpredictable. 10. Facility and Living Arrangements: * Decide where the horse will live (boarding facility or home). * Ensure the facility is safe and suitable for the horse. 11. Vacation and Backup Plans: * Plan for who will take care of the horse when you are on vacation or unavailable. 12. Community and Social Aspects: * Be prepared to deal with the social dynamics at boarding facilities. * Find a supportive community or group of fellow horse enthusiasts. 13. Continual Education and Training: * Be committed to ongoing education and training for both you and your horse. * Attend clinics, workshops, and horse shows to learn more. 14. Emergency and Health Care: * Have a plan for emergencies and access to a vet. * Keep up with regular health checkups and vaccinations. 15. Rescue and Rehabilitation: * Consider rescuing a horse if you have the experience and resources to rehabilitate it
Speaker:By carefully considering these factors, you can make a more informed and responsible decision about horse ownership, ensuring a positive and fulfilling experience for both you and your horse.