Q&A with Melissa Rohan | Episode 8: The Montessori Advantage

Join Melissa Rohan, Founder and President of Waterfront Academy in Washington, D.C., as she dives into the core values of Montessori education. From navigating religious sacraments to the "no-homework" philosophy, Melissa answers the most pressing questions from parents today.

🕒 Video Chapters:

00:09 – Welcome & Overview: An introduction to Waterfront Academy.

01:48 – Faith & Sacraments: Balancing the role of parents and the parish.

11:10 – Family Dynamics: Insights on birth gaps and sibling order.

12:18 – Beyond the Grade: Why we skip traditional tests and homework.

17:30 – Standardized Success: How Montessori kids prepare for future exams.

24:50 – Preserving the Home: The real impact of homework on family life.

30:03 – The Next Step: Transitioning from Montessori to traditional high schools.

✨ About Waterfront Academy
Located in the heart of D.C., Waterfront Academy is a unique dual-language (Spanish/English) Montessori school rooted in the Catholic tradition. We serve children from age three through 8th grade, prioritizing holistic development and academic excellence without the stress of conventional grading.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:09

Welcome to another episode of QA with Melissa Rohan, and I'm going to answer a few of the questions that I have received. Just so you know, my name is Melissa Rohan, and I am the president and founder of Waterfront Academy. Uh, here in Washington, DC. We uh serve children as young as three, and we go all the way up through eighth grade. Uh, we have so that's three classrooms of primary, elementary, and adolescence. And uh we're dual language, English, Spanish, Montessori school, and the Catholic tradition. The first one is about sacraments. Okay, so I get asked this every year. So every year in uh in the fall when we start the school year, I ask all the parents to let me know if they are if their child is going to be preparing for sacraments that year. Inevitably, I get this question. Um, so I thought, why don't I just put this here on Q ⁇ A with Melissa Rohan? And uh, because I think that like it's more than our school that uh that has this uh question about sacraments and what um how to prepare for them. Um I think this is pretty universal. Uh so I let me just say a few things. So we're in the um archdiocese of the greater Washington area. A lot of these rules are diocese by diocese. Okay, just so you know. Now, here, um, and I think this is pretty universal, the Catholic Church believes that the parent is the first teacher. Okay. So even if you go to a Catholic school or a school like ours, which is in the Catholic tradition, you as the parent would have to initiate the preparation for the sacraments. And the reason the question that I usually get is, well, aren't you going to do it? No, it is not my I cannot do that. You have to, as the parent, go to your parish pastor, and let them know that this is something that you are seeking out for your child, and then from there you will get guidance moving forward. A few things that we have seen here is that they do ask for a two-year notice. So, like, hey, this is gonna happen, it's gonna happen in the next two years. Um, that would be one of them. The other thing that is important to note is that at a certain point, because we do have this situation every once in a while, the parent is like it will ask us um to do the baptism, the first communion, the you know, etc. And it's usually this is like when they're a little bit older, so they're not in first grade or second grade, they're let's say in fourth grade or fifth grade. The the parish or the the diocese might have different rules for full conversion. So that's just again must be initiated by you and your family, the parents and and and the children, etc. It can't be initiated by the school principal or head of school. So I think that that is really important. And then once once you initiate that, usually what I ask, and I'm sure this is true of other heads of school, um, and it might be with the a director of uh religious education or something like that, depending on how the school is structured. You'll have you'll communicate with the parish and just let them know what what sacrament prep looks like at the school and make sure that it's okay with the pastor, um and then et cetera, et cetera. And working with their timeline at that parish, because each parish has their own timelines and their own uh deadlines and their own requirements. Again, a lot of it is set structured from the diocese down, but um, but there is some very specific require requirements, um timelines um that the pastor might have for the parish. Um, and so we me as the head of school, or if I had a director of religious education, they would kind of work with them on meeting all of that and scheduling it all out. Um, so that is something that we always get asked, and I just wanted to kind of put that there here uh for you because it might help so that you understand it that, you know, I think as Catholics, we believe that the parents are the first teachers, and so you as the parent would have to initiate that uh sacrament prep with your pastor at your parish, um, and then work, we would work with you from there, work with the parish from there. The second question, uh, let's talk about birth gaps. That one's kind of an interesting one. I personally believe have as many kids as God gives you.

unknown 5:40

Right?

SPEAKER_00 5:42

Um, it is not on your timeline as much as it is on God's timeline. And we can create a lot of plans, and um, and as they say, God laughs. Um so that said, there is some really good science out there on like birth order and um and things like that. Here's the thing in my mind, you have the children when you have the children, and that's it. Like, and you and you enjoy the family that you have, that you were that you were blessed with, and it's just so beautiful, and I have seen a lot of different I've I've seen it all. I well, and I'm sure I say that, and I'm sure I'll I'll see something else in the future. I don't know. But the point is, is that like it's it's never too close and it's never too far. It's just sis, okay. And so you you make the decisions based on the family you have. There's some really great studies out there regarding birth order, and I think just I find it so interesting, and I think it's so applicable to a Montessori environment because a lot of this is structured off of families and homes. Um, and so there's a lot of correlation. So just like we have in our classroom three-year mixed-aged classrooms, it's very similar to what you would see with birth orders in the home. And so the eldest child um is going to have is going to have a lot of experience as a leader, and um, and they're really going to own that identity and um and responsibility and things like that. And a second child, if you only have, if you are blessed with two, um, the second child is going to have a lot of the um younger child tendencies of um being more social uh and um and and funny and um and lighthearted. And um, and then if you middle children are going to kind of be somewhere in between, they're very creative and innovative. Um again, because of where they are, and when you have a Montessori environment, what's neat is that like all the children get to play all those roles at some point, and if you're here for a long time, multiple points, and so I just I think that there's so many wonderful things about that, and then you have children who are further apart, let's say four, five, six years apart, and I think that's beautiful too. I think that um when you have a a bigger birth gap, each child gets to be a leader, right? And each and and then the the children, um they they really if you you know they can really become friends and they can be great, you know, great partners uh through life. Um and it it really doesn't it it doesn't change it changes in that it doesn't look the same, but it doesn't change anything beyond that, where there's still love, there's still uh you know, sibling stuff. Um they're siblings, and and I think it's wonderful. So when you're look if you were, let's say, um at home and um and what that might look like at home is that you would have um as with the older child, and you bring in a new a younger child, you know, let's say they're six years old. Well, that six-year-old gets a lot of responsibility that a two-year-old wouldn't have, right? So there's an opportunity there, and um, and that's really cool. And um, so I just think that there's a lot of opportunities, regardless of what kind or how your family looks, and you just need to lean into the the beautiful blessings that you have and not compare uh your family with another family, because I think that's just a recipe for destruction. I just why would you compare with another family? Just enjoy the family you have and just just be grateful for all the blessings you have with that. And I and it is a blessing, it really is, and um, and it's a blessing one way and it's a blessing another way, and you know, and that's just that's just that's life, and it's it's wonderful. So, um, but we do get every once in a while a parent will ask. We I recently got an ask about, oh, is is it too far apart? And it it just is, it's and it's beautiful as it is, it's not anything. I was talking to a family member the uh uh just two days ago, actually, in um my family, and um they were talking, this person was talking about how he's one of uh seven children, and the fur it was like the first three children, and they were all close in age, and then there's a one in the middle, and then there's another three, all close in age, and he was talking about how before he had graduated high school, how much he helped the younger children with homework, like you know, and he and it's a memory that he has now as an adult, and um, and and I think that's wonderful, right? So, like he had the best of both worlds, right? Um, and then I can say in my own family, you know, um they're all relatively close in age, but the oldest is much older than the youngest, but they are like best of friends, like they just love each other so much. Um, and so I I just it doesn't, it does, I don't, it doesn't matter. It's just it's the blessing you have and just be grateful and go with it. It's it's wonderful. And as many children as you can have, like, do that. Be what is it? What is it like be fruitful, multiply? Absolutely, do that. Uh let's do another question here. I really want to talk about grades, test, and homework. I'm I'm really feeling called to talk about that one. In a Montessori environment, we do not do grades. Uh, we don't do testing, and we don't have homework. Um, and we get a lot of questions relating to any of them or all of them. When I do tours or when I do uh when I talk to people in my life. Um yeah, it all the time. This is this is part and parcel of my position, my lot in life, I guess. Um and um, and I really feel strongly about this actually. Regarding tests, test taking test taking is a skill, it's a very important skill, and I don't want to diminish that. Um, I think that you are going to have to take a lot of tests in your life, and I think it's important to be prepared for test taking. Test taking though, in my mind, is similar to games. Pick a game. Some of us like Sudoku, and some of us like football. I mean, but as humans, we're we're we love games, okay? So if you think of a task as a game, any game, sometimes you do amazing, and sometimes you do face plans. It's the way it is. And if you were going to um be uh uh assessed simply on your test taking, well, it wouldn't really uh capture what you're actually able to do, it would just be a snapshot of a couple hours at one moment in your life. And and I think this is important, just like Sudoku or football, you could know how to play, but if you're not skilled because you haven't honed the skill, well then you're always going to flop, and it's never really going to be an accurate uh assessment of what you know ever because you would need to actually know the skill of test taking, not what's on the test. Alright. Also, so you can have bad days, you would actually need to hone the skill of test taking. Also, the thing is with Sudoku or football is that there's hacks, right? So even with all your skill and with all your knowledge, there's little cheats, right? Not like illegal cheats or anything like that. There's like life hacks, and um, and if you are not privy to those life hacks or cheats or I don't know, whatever you want to call them, uh then that extra two percent that can move you above the line, well, you're missing that, but other people have it. In in order for us to like make sure that all the children are amazing test takers, well, we would have to give up all that time that we're taking to use towards actual learning. Think about that. Because time is finite. We only have so much time in a year, in a month, in a week, in a day. That's it. How do you want to spend that time? Do you want to spend that time learning how to hone all those skills for test taking? For what? It doesn't serve the child. The only person that those tests serve is the adult. That's it. It sounds like a waste of time to me. And if a child does have one of those face plant days, what then? That in the inner monologue that's going on in that child's head is for what? It's all negative, and it means nothing. So it's not it's not helpful, it's not helpful for anybody except for the adults who really in the equation not that important, right? So that's how I feel, and I feel very strongly about tests. Clearly, I'm very passionate about this. So, what we do, because I again going back to my first statement, is that they are very important. I will save all of that to their very last year here in their adolescent classroom year, that eighth grade year, and I spend about a month talking about and practicing test taking. I show them all the skills, all the hacks, everything they're gonna need to know. That's what I do, that's what we do here because test taking kind of seems like not an important to their education and their development to me. Grades. Every child in a school, in a typical school, is learning the exact same thing at the exact same time as the other children in their age grade level, right? At any given moment, with any given lesson, that lesson is only hitting at best a third, but really less than a third. Then there's a third where that lesson is way below where they're at. And so they're bored to tears and they're just going through the motions because they gotta get to the next thing. The end of the school day, lunch, bathroom, whatever. Alright, they don't care, it's easy peasy, they're just coasting through because they can't, they're not being challenged, they're not, and then you've got another third, and they are at the bottom, and everything that's coming out of this lesson is like Greek. You could speak Greek and it would be the same. It would. And no one is slowing down for them because they got two-thirds that either need this to go on pace or faster. And if you're in that bottom one-third, that internal monologue that I was already talking about with the testing, it's even worse. It's even worse. It's so sad, it's so sad. It's so sad that anybody, any child would feel that way. Because we're human and we are designed to learn. And if you feel like you can't do that basic thing that we were designed to do, it is frustrating, depressing. My heart breaks for that third. I mean, really, my heart breaks for the top third, too, because that's also really frustrating. So, so that's a typical classroom, all right. And we don't do that, we do individualized curriculums. So we're trying to be about exactly where we're supposed to be with every single child. And if we need to like slow down a gear so that we can like get them to understand, as soon as they understand, it's like full speed ahead with them, right? They just need to get over that little hump or challenge, and then they move forward. Um now, okay. So if we're in a typical classroom, what does that grade represent? It represents whether or not they're on target with the lessons that are being that are being given by the teacher to this arbitrary timeline that means nothing to any of the children. One third, one third of the children in that classroom. That is what that grade represents. That's it. And if and by the end, by the age of third grade, if your child or any child in that classroom, in a typical classroom, isn't on or above, statistically speaking, they are going to be behind for the rest of their academic career by third grade. Why why do we need to do this? Why? So the grades, and a grade, a grade at school A is not the same as a grade in school B. Okay? You can have a community of children who are on one third of them that you're you're assigned to be on their timeline are at you know speed 15 and then at another school that third that you're you know assigning a timeline to is at speed eight okay so an a in school you know speed 15 is not the same as an a at a school of a community of children who are at speed eight so you know it it means nothing it means nothing nothing important anyways it really and why are we comparing one child to another we shouldn't be because the only thing it does do is compare children against other children and I have had that that come that that has come into my school more times than I would like to to admit to where a parent will come in and ask me how their child is doing compared to another child. I can't talk about another child I can't do you know how horrible that is and so if we're assigning grades we are doing exactly that because you know that those parents are talking to each other and they are comparing each other's grades or their children's grades excuse me it's not a competition it's not it's we are trying to help the children learn grow develop into these wonderful people that is the point that is the point and so they are going to grow on their timeline not mine not the parents not their friends no it's each individual's timeline that's what that is homework there is no study that proves homework improves education under in the elementary and under ages there is some benefit in middle school and above but it is nominal. So when we're doing what so then what is the point of homework right what is the point of homework here is the point of homework teacher cannot finish all the lessons because remember we've got them in different re you know areas they can only really hit that one third and then you've got the third that's above and you got the third that's below well we got to give the third busy work because they're bored and we got to give the ones that are below we need to communicate in some way to the parents hey your child is struggling and so here's some homework and maybe you can help them understand this because work there's only a finite number of hours in the day all right so that's the point there you go there's homework and like as a parent oh as a parent and the child is coming home with homework your day has now become in managing homework right and the child that doesn't want to do the homework what then do you do it for them or do you scream at them or or do you start incentivizing with like treats if any of those things work it only works for a short amount of time and you know this and I know this we all know this it's it is you can't keep it consistent and you can't it it you can't it's just it is what it is right and so going home with homework again it doesn't serve the child it's just either busy work or frustration. Learning should be fun learning is fun I love learning I want the children to learn to love learning the way I love learning. I I I I love all kinds of learning I I love it when people tell me hey like that I don't know like I'm so curious. Don't we want this for our children? The things that we have in place in a typical school discourages that. And so they're just there running through going through the motions checking off the boxes they don't care they're not interested they're not curious they're not learning that's what tests grades and homework do. That's what that does and it does it well. It's very efficient at that and that's sad. And I I just I believe there's a better way and I like the way that I'm doing it and I feel that when parents come to our school from typical schools they get that evening and week back with their family and that is so valuable. Oh my gosh I just got goosebumps that is so wonderful when you have the ability to strengthen that family bond to do outings to the museum to go on hikes bike rides uh picnics the ideas are endless all these things that you can do with your family and enjoy each other each because because you know what your children grow up quickly they do and do you want those memories about fighting over homework or their grades or or studying for tests or do you want memories of like enjoying each other you know I mean we all have to make these choices for ourselves and my choice isn't necessarily going to be your choice but I do get that question a lot and I do feel very passionate about it and so I I wanted to share it with you and I think I got a little bit more passionate than I thought I I was planning on I try to be as positive as possible. It's just this one's like a real to me and I because I just I see it I see it and and that's another thing that parents say is that their child is here three months and what a difference that child has become because they're happy they're curious they're excited I mean when you drop your child off at school do you want them to be mad or do you want them to be excited to go to school and when you pick them up do you want to spend time with your child or you want to be like over their shoulder making sure that they're studying and doing homework or when they get their report cards like what do you want that to look like that's your choice it's not mine. I just when people ask me why we don't do these things this is this is the why and does it matter for them to get into another school no not at all not at all in fact in fact the children that leave our school are so prepared for the for high school and for college they do so well they skip those freshman courses because they are well past it the courses that they are taking they do exceptionally well at they love it they're curious they're interested they're engaged and yeah they're gonna have homework and tests and grades of course they are that's gonna happen that's part of life um obviously but they're really confident going into it and they love school and they love learning and so it makes it a lot more interesting right and uh and they've got all the life skills that we we prepared them for that we prepared them for high school and for college and they do really well um so it it it's not it's not a challenge to go from here to there um it's actually an asset. Those are my three QAs and uh and I look forward to doing this again. I promise I won't do another one I'm super passionate about because like I got a little um anyways have a great one and until next one