Bound in Dark Ink - Remembering Angela 🖤 with Delilah & Ophelia

This episode is unlike anything we’ve recorded before.

What started as a planned author interview became something completely different — a raw, emotional, deeply personal conversation centered around Angela, grief, friendship, books, community, and the people who leave permanent marks on us.

I didn’t ask my usual questions.
We didn’t follow an outline.
And honestly… we didn’t need to.

This episode is being released completely raw and unedited because anything else would have taken away from what this conversation became.

You’ll hear laughter, chaos, heavy moments, interruptions, stories, and genuine emotion exactly as it happened over the course of nearly two and a half hours.

No cuts.
No polishing.
Just real conversation.

This one is for Angela. 🖤

Follow along on Instagram @boundindarkink and @prettymamasbooks.
Until next time–Stay dark. Stay obsessed.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

You're listening to Bound in Dark Inc., where dark romance, obsession, and bookish chaos collide. I'm Alicia. Let's begin. Okay. Welcome everyone. Today's episode is a little different than normal. I have two lovely ladies on here, Delilah Sin and Ophelia Payne. Welcome, you lovely ladies.

SPEAKER_04 0:23

Hi. Hi, thank you.

SPEAKER_00 0:28

I thank you guys so much for coming on. Um, and I apologize if this becomes an emotional one because um, Ophelia, as I was telling Delilah before you jumped on, um, I've lost my love of reading over this. Um, and I've like rescheduled a bunch of my recordings. You guys are the only ones that I'm even willing to do right now. Um, so thank you guys so much for coming on. And yes, we love you.

SPEAKER_03 0:59

I will say this. She would be kicking our asses for being sad.

SPEAKER_00 1:04

So she would be. She she would. I was telling um Slade, because I was me and Slade were talking about how we were gonna meet her in August. And um Slade was like, if you see me, make sure you come and hug me. And I was like, honestly, I I don't know if I'm gonna go. But I know that that is not what she would want. She would not want me to not go because she's not gonna be there.

SPEAKER_03 1:31

So this is true. My mantra is now it was what would Dolly do, Alyssa. So, you know, and uh Delilah knows this. Um, what would Dolly do? And it's now what would Angela do? Um Angela would do it all. So we're doing it all. That's what we're doing.

SPEAKER_04 1:50

She would.

SPEAKER_00 1:52

The other day, I must tell you, ladies, I was um I was at work and I was talking to my friend about her, and then all of a sudden my Apple music just started playing ironic. Yeah, and I was just like, Well, isn't that ironic?

SPEAKER_03 2:09

Yeah, she's she's with us in in many ways for sure. I see her everywhere, so yeah, I hear that.

SPEAKER_04 2:18

I do too, I do too. Anytime I see the color purple, I'm just like, there she is. There she is. And you know, I try to keep it in mind because I think for like almost a week after I found out, I cried non-stop. And I was just like, she would be so mad. She would be so mad, especially because you know, I was just grieving so hard over her that it was kind of having an effect on my blood sugars. I have type 1 diabetes, and I was like, she would stab me.

SPEAKER_00 2:57

Oh, she'd be kicking your ass. She'd be like, girl, what the fuck are you doing? Get it together.

SPEAKER_04 3:05

So we um we had a personal chat between the four of us, me and Ophelia and Elena and her. And whenever I would have a health issue, they would make up songs. All of them. And so I'd get to go into the chat and just see all of these voice notes from them about how I was gonna lose my foot or how my blood sugar was gonna go too.

SPEAKER_03 3:35

I mean, it was savage, but it made you behave yourself. So, you know, it really did.

SPEAKER_04 3:40

You guys always looked out for me. Always, but it was just funny to go in there and it was just so lighthearted in the face of something serious, and that's kind of what I loved about her, is through all of these things that we all went through, she was there, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 4:04

Yep, and I think that's when we put our little PSA out. We wanted to capture that. It was always like the four musketeers, always us against the world, and the it's so hard to put down in just a few words how just ever you know, she was just all about this space, all about the the dark romance, all about the the hype and lifting people up and championing them and cheerleading them. And when she found the audio erotica space, it was like she'd found her calling.

SPEAKER_00 4:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 4:48

And the level of support that so many people had from her, she was just everywhere in the best way. Um, and it was all about hyping up the people that she'd discovered and found and loved and wanted more of. And it it was just this this most positive force, and it made you want to do stuff because she well, A, she would she was good at tough love, she'd be like, you know, get your head out of your ass and get it done. And B, it was just she was so into it, like so into it. So you'd be like, I'm gonna do this for Angela. Yeah, and so you know, you find yourself being braver because you just think, well, what would she want to hear? What would she want to see? And or or I'd run stuff by her and be like, is this too much? You'd be like, no, give it to me now.

SPEAKER_00 5:48

Give it all, yep. All the triggers, I want it all.

SPEAKER_03 5:52

Yeah, yes, yep, so yeah. It's it's weird. I don't like Fridays anymore. I will like Fridays again, but I don't like them right now. There's a definite absence for sure, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 6:12

The consistency and the patterns are something that I miss, just opening things up and just seeing her there scantily clad.

SPEAKER_00 6:23

Because she's always like I I I had asked her one time, I'm like, girl, do you even wear the same outfit twice?

SPEAKER_03 6:33

No, you never do that. You know, um you're just like lady, so yeah.

SPEAKER_04 6:45

I gotta tell you though, she I think she did what she set out to do with that, because if your goal is to promote somebody and sell their art to everybody else, every time she did a review on one of my books, my sales went up.

SPEAKER_03 7:06

Yeah, and and the the attention to detail, like if you if your brand is a particular colour, that was the colour she'd wear.

SPEAKER_01 7:18

When I did the script fill, um the the alien one, and she bought an alien outfit to wear for the review, and it was batshit, but it was like the best thing I'd ever seen. And she I remember she showed me, she previewed the video with me, and she's like, Is this too much?

SPEAKER_03 7:39

And I was like, Absolutely not. This is the best thing I've ever seen. And uh and that she was just getting started, and that's the kicker. That really is, is like, could you imagine could you imagine where this would have ended up? It it was she was it was sorry, I'm um reaching for words, but yeah, the the the potential cut short is is just a bit too much, really.

SPEAKER_04 8:14

So I agree. It hurts to think about that. It hurts to think about that, you know, she could have done a lot, she could have been at book signings, and then she was starting to do VA work too, which was absolutely incredible.

SPEAKER_03 8:45

Yeah, she was talking about um getting her setup sorted out so that she could uh do do the poetry. I mean, Delilah does the most unhinged but brilliant poetry, and you know, she'd done a few for you already, and they were phenomenal. And she was like finding her stride, um, she was like really getting into it and getting like quite confident with it as well. And I know with story time with Ophelia, she was so keen to do it, but she didn't have the right um gear, she did not have a setup, and I was like, look, dude, just video it, you know, film the wall and and send them to me in in video. So she did in about five or six bite-sized videos, and I just scraped the audio, and and it's it's in the book, and it sounds fine, you know.

SPEAKER_00 9:43

It does, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 9:45

Software, yeah, and and she but she was cursing my name for the tongue twisters. So I was like, Wow, you wanna do it, this is what you gotta do. So yeah, yeah, and I'm so glad that her voice is in it. It was and it was such a a uh bittersweet thing as well, because it it was literally the day before the book was being released, and and I was like, Well, what do I do? Do I pull it? Do I what do I do? And uh her husband was just like, no, you you need to go ahead with it. Um, she'd want you to, I want you to, so that's that's where we are, and it's she's forever immortalized in uh in that very stereotypical. Sorry, Angela, but she was the only girl for the job, so it had to be done, and she did a cracking cracking job.

SPEAKER_00 10:48

Yes, she absolutely did, and then Ophelia, it's a little, it's a little um ironic. Here's that word again. I met Angela around the same time that I met Noah Eternity, and then like I heard her voice, and then immediately after it was him, and I was like, how fitting for me.

SPEAKER_03 11:09

Yeah, yeah. He's he also did a story in the book. I was so blessed with I literally just asked people and they all said yes. It and you just think, what, what because it's weird, isn't it? Because you you sit there and you're working away, and Delilah, you're you've had this as well, where you've been beavering away and you've made these stories, and and you just think, well, I can hear this person telling this story, I or I can hear this voice voicing this character. And and you've had a similar experience, I think, where you've asked, and people have said yes, and and it's it blows your mind that people believe in your work to that extent that they would happily put their voice to your words, and it it's a really humbling, humbling experience for sure. And you just think, well, who who am I? I'm just writing silly stories and having quite a nice time doing it, and some people seem to be liking it quite a lot, and enough that they will. I I mean, I I don't know what the word is, it's a tricky word, isn't it?

SPEAKER_02 12:27

Like it is.

SPEAKER_03 12:29

What do you what do you call it when someone is willing to put their voice to one of your stories and you're a bit blown away by it because you just think, well, it's just a silly story, you know?

SPEAKER_04 12:41

Imposter syndrome.

SPEAKER_03 12:42

Yeah, yeah. I try not to say that you do, and it does my head in because you, of all people, should never ever suffer from imposter syndrome, um, in my opinion. Because uh the stuff you come up with is phenomenal, it really is.

SPEAKER_04 13:04

Yeah, I appreciate that from both of you. I I really do, I really do, and it's you know, it's the kind of thing that can hold you back, right? When you write something and you know it's not going to be for everybody. My writing certainly isn't it's quite niche, babes. It it certainly is, it certainly is, and I totally understand that, totally understand that, but then I feel like I found my people. Yeah, you know, I feel like I found my people because the people that are just like, well, I actually really hated the way that you write, so I didn't finish your book. That's okay. Because I have this this corner of Bookstagram that absolutely loves people like me and Ophelia and others that are not afraid to put themselves out there and say, This is what I do. It's crazy. You can either like it or hate it, and the people that like it are afraid for you, they are after you more, more, more. And it's cool, and it's cool to have people read your scripts like that. Like when I casted Flame in the Hollow, I was honestly almost even scared to tell Ophelia because I know she is so busy. Yeah, Ophelia has her hands in everything. What can I say? In everything. I don't think Ophelia sleeps.

SPEAKER_03 14:40

I I maybe get four hours a night.

SPEAKER_04 14:46

I was just like, I'm gonna cast her for the biggest part in this book. Because we were all in Vegas together.

SPEAKER_02 14:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 14:59

And we did karaoke, and Ophelia sang a tenacious D song. And I had been thinking about her for a while for this role. And after I saw her and her performance of that, and the way that she spoke it, and the way that she moved her arms, she narrates with her whole body. I knew I had I had to choose her. Angela sang ironic. She did, and she was sick, poor baby. She was so poor sinus issue. And after she sang that song, she stopped and she took the microphone back out of the stand and she goes, I want to let you all know that I can sing this song.

SPEAKER_03 15:51

Yeah, she was sticking up for herself. She's like, I'm not this shit.

SPEAKER_00 15:56

I think it didn't sound that bad either. I think that might have been the trip she was telling me about where she's like, I think I got the girl sick.

SPEAKER_03 16:06

Oh my gosh, we were all so sick.

SPEAKER_01 16:09

Yeah. We were like, I went to Vegas and all I got was this horrendous illness.

SPEAKER_03 16:19

That's that's a bit of an in joke as well. I went to Vegas and all I got was, and it just all got a bit silly, didn't it? It was it was brilliant. It did.

SPEAKER_04 16:28

We jumped over a wall and I got a piggyback.

SPEAKER_03 16:32

That we went the wrong way, and there was no way out of this car park other than down a six-foot wall.

SPEAKER_05 16:43

Oh goodness.

SPEAKER_03 16:45

So we ended up honestly, it was like we were busting out of prison.

SPEAKER_04 16:53

That is how it felt. I still don't know how we made it over that wall. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 16:58

That was the most ridiculous thing. And I just thought if there's CCTV around here, then they're gonna have the time of their lives watching this back. It was the well, that was just one of the crazy things. Um, half naked cowboys, they were fun.

SPEAKER_04 17:20

They were fun, they were fun. Spider-Man was there, Spider-Man.

SPEAKER_03 17:24

He was after your room key. In fact, they were all after your room key, um, except we were all in the same room, so there wasn't that we were in the story.

SPEAKER_04 17:38

I think he was about 10 years too young for me, too, to be honest.

SPEAKER_03 17:42

Like he was I mean, he was working hard, he was hustling, and you know, you can't blame him for trying because you are like pretty darn gorgeous. But it was just funny sitting back and watching the whole. I mean, I have fuel for years from that trip. I really do. Is it your birthday? Best channel ever.

SPEAKER_04 18:09

I have that poem, I have that poem in Poems for My Sunny Heart, a poetry book for skanks, yeah. And she was supposed to read that when it hit summer because that was hers. That was her poem, and um, I couldn't not write about that. No, it's just so dumb.

SPEAKER_03 18:30

It's in it's in the it's in our lore now. It's canon.

SPEAKER_04 18:34

It's in our lore, yeah, yep.

SPEAKER_03 18:37

It is absolute canon, along with sorry, I'm gonna be crass now and say, Can I pound you a pussy?

SPEAKER_01 18:45

Oh goodness, oh man.

SPEAKER_04 18:47

It's terrific. Ultimate pickup lines, right? Oh my gosh, and they thought it would work, so you know, oh, it must have worked on somebody.

SPEAKER_00 18:58

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, guys.

SPEAKER_03 19:00

Yeah, it didn't happen in Vegas for him, I don't think it was spring break and March madness all at the same time, wasn't it? So it was it was insane, and you know, we're we've been chatting for such a long time online, and I do believe it was Angela's idea in the first place was we need to meet up, we we absolutely need to meet up in real life, um, because we'd we'd met in uh an audio erotica chat um with with a lot more other girls, and us four immediately uh felt this connection, and and I think we'd splintered off fairly early, didn't we? Um, and made our own little four-band chat. And um are you there?

SPEAKER_02 20:05

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 20:06

Oh, okay. So we just went really quiet.

SPEAKER_04 20:09

And I was like, oh no, I'm speaking to no one. Sorry. No, I was listening, I was just like shaking my head like, oh my god, you wanted a place because that audio erotica chat was about one person, right? But you wanted a place that was for everybody, yeah. Where everybody can sort of just bounce ideas and lift each other up, and yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:37

Yeah, and uh so I I have my own chat, I mean, anyone who's creating has their their their inner circle, if you like. So I know Delilah, you have yours and I have mine, and uh and we have this tiny little splinter chat that like say we'd met in this one particular chat room, and you know, you just we just thought these are my people and and immediately had this connection, and so we were we and it was it's quite an insane chat, isn't it? I know there's only four of one. We covered a lot of topics, um, and also you know, if one of us was feeling a particular way, the others would jump in, and and you know, it's incredibly supportive and uh no drama, and and you can bitch about stuff as well and not have people get upset by it, and you know, just real, real sisterhood, which is all we kind of look for, really. I think is is uh and I think the closest way I can describe you girls is you're my platonic soulmates, and that's that's exactly who you are. Um, and I think Angela had figured this out quite. Quite early on, and was absolutely desperate to get us all in the same room. And so there was a conversation happened, and it's like we've well, we've got to go to Vegas. And that was over a year ago. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_04 22:15

We had been planning that trip for a year, and then it felt like it came up very suddenly. And when it was like a couple of days before we were all supposed to fly out.

SPEAKER_05 22:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 22:24

And I just remember all of us kept going into the chats, going, okay, when are we supposed to get there again? Yeah. When are we leaving?

SPEAKER_03 22:33

And I I actually it made me feel sick, you know, like when you when you're a kid at Christmas and and you have those nerves and you're so excited that you just think, Oh, I don't know what to do with myself. And it was just this weird feeling, you know, that it's like, oh my god. And it was like being five again and waiting for Santa Claus. It was like the craziest thing. And and then it's the what if we all hate each other on sight? What if I mean it was never gonna happen, but you do worry, don't you? And so I'm on a 10-hour flight thinking, what if we hate each other? We've booked the same room, and I'm panicking, um, which I needn't have done um at all. And because it was just like we it was strange. It was like when you when you we met in real life, because it was you and Elena first, and I was in the lobby, and I'm trying to figure my shit out, and I'm the worst, most disorganized person on the planet when I'm traveling, and uh, and I was like faffing around, and then I look up, and then there's these two most beautiful women I've ever seen in my whole entire life, right there.

SPEAKER_04 23:48

Shocking that you say that because I remember that I was in sweats, and so is Elena, like she looked pretty comfortable, and you were on the longest flight out of all of us, and you were just like so statuesque and professional looking there in the lobby, like your hair was done, like I was like, oh my god, she's so pretty.

SPEAKER_03 24:15

I think I was probably snoring most of it, to be fair. So I I feel sorry for the people next to me, but um, you know, that's just they just got to deal with it. I'm old, I don't give a shit. Um, and then I remember you and Angela were were clearly messaging. We're up in the hotel room, and you're messaging, and uh and there's a knock on the door, and it's her. And I was just, and I know I cried, I was ridiculous.

SPEAKER_04 24:43

Yeah, and I mean your crying made me tear up too. Um, fun fact my left foot is almost entirely metal, yeah. And um I physically cannot run on that foot, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 25:01

But I moved pretty quickly when she yeah, you you put teleported, I think.

SPEAKER_04 25:06

Yes, that was that was like a like a a leaping power walk. It's like power ranger like what I did.

SPEAKER_03 25:18

It was amazing, and I think go ahead. Sorry, I think the squeal that came out of me would probably have uh summoned dogs from a 20-mile radio radius. It was it was emotional, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_04 25:34

It was really emotional, it was, and she was the last one to arrive, and she was so pissed off that we were all getting there before her.

SPEAKER_03 25:44

Yeah, yeah, she didn't like missing out on stuff.

SPEAKER_04 25:48

No, she didn't, she didn't, and um so I was I was supposed to meet her in the summer of last year because a friend and I were supposed to go to My Chemical Romance in Texas, and she had to bow out, and Angela was just like, Hey, I want that ticket, I'll go with you. And I was like, Cool, we're gonna go. And I was so excited to meet her, and she wanted to go to Dallas Stadium, and she wanted to see all these different things in the Dallas area and do karaoke, which was commonplace. And um three days before we were gonna fly out, I ended up getting pulmonary embolisms. Oh no, from not walking on the foot, yes, and so I'm glad I didn't do that because you're not supposed to fly with those. And um she was like, I I can't cancel the flight. I can't. And I said, Go. And she goes, I've never gone anywhere by myself. And I was like, Are you gonna be okay? Is there anybody that you know in Dallas? Because if there's anything I knew about Angela, she knew everybody everywhere, yep. She knew so many people. So she ended up um getting one of the girls that I believe she knew through Joe Arden's group to go with her to the actual concert. But then she kind of beboped around by herself and she sent me video while I was in the hospital of everything she was doing. So it was like I was there. I was touring Dallas Stadium with her, I was at the concert with her because she was like, I'm not gonna let you miss out on this over what you've been through because it just sucks. Yep, and that's the kind of person that she was. Yep.

SPEAKER_03 27:44

Well, she she said on the plane on the way over to Vegas, uh, this she kept getting free drinks because this guy was buying her drinks, and I everywhere she went, that's the sort of thing that happened, and uh I I think because she's so unapologetically herself, and um it and like just really cool, a really cool person, and uh yeah, so she was half cut when she knocked on the on the hotel room door, it was brilliant, and uh we and you were like you you didn't pay for any drinks? She's like, no, no, not one. Absolutely impressive. So and she just had this knack of just making friends everywhere. So um whether you liked it or not, she's like, I'm your friend now. Yep, that's it. So you can't get rid of me.

SPEAKER_04 28:46

Um, and that's until she found out that you ate pineapples on pizza, then suddenly you were oh yeah, you were judged for that, definitely. Yeah, she did not like that.

SPEAKER_03 28:56

No, and I agree with her. It why why would you do that to perfectly good pizza? And I I have a thing about savory and sweet together anyway. It's like, no, they are two distinct separate things, you can't put them together. So I I'm with her on that one for sure.

SPEAKER_00 29:15

Um, I guess it's a good thing I didn't tell her I like pineapple on my pizza.

SPEAKER_04 29:21

Yeah, she would have gotten you. She would have gotten you.

SPEAKER_03 29:25

Uh-huh. Yeah, you say I was uh subject to her tough love a few times because I'd gotten a bit unnecessary over certain things. And she was just like, Lady, sort your shit out.

SPEAKER_00 29:40

Yeah, she did that with me too. Like I was trying to get her giveaway stuff together, and my cricket was like, it wasn't fucking cutting right and it was aggravating me. And I was like, Angela, I'm gonna send you half of it, and then I'll send you the rest at the end of the week when this shit wants to work. And she's like, Alicia, stop it right now. Take a breath, breathe. You're stressing over shit that just doesn't matter. Yeah, just send it to me when it's done at the end of the week. Just stop. And I'm just like, okay, I love you.

SPEAKER_03 30:09

Yeah, so I don't sweat the small stuff, just don't. That's exactly what it was.

SPEAKER_04 30:15

Yeah. She would sometimes be like, or Delilah, that doesn't even matter. Why? Yeah, she's just like, Why are you worried about that? And then I'm I'm an emotional person. I think anybody who is creative or writes or just puts their whole soul into something is, and I just remember that I cried a lot over everything.

SPEAKER_02 30:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 30:43

And she would be like, Stop crying. Yeah, she she didn't have to ask for that. It was like, uh no, no, this isn't happening right now. No, she was like, you just need to be happy, and then she'd be like, You deserve to be happy. Yeah, and I was just like, Oh, that's really sweet. Like, that's one of the sweetest things that somebody could say.

unknown 31:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 31:08

Yep. You deserve to be happy, and you know, in the short time that I knew Angela, it was only a couple of years, but I felt like I knew her for like 15. You know, I felt like I knew so much of her, and I feel like I know so much of Ophelia and Elena too. Like, oh yeah, there was some heart to hear. It was uh Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Yes, yes, and I'm still wearing the ring that you brought. Yeah, I've never taken it off, it's just on there now, and I tightened it um the day that everything happened.

SPEAKER_02 31:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 31:53

Because I was just like so for reference, I bought us because I'm 12. Um, like they're they're like hug rings, so they're um open-ended either side with a hand at each end, so it's like it's hugging your finger.

SPEAKER_00 32:13

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 32:13

So they're like friendship rings, and again, because I'm 12, I bought each of us one as uh to wear at Vegas, and um, and I again I don't think any of us have taken them off. Um, I think they were they featured in stories and things, along with the let's get tattoos. Yeah, honestly. You can see it all. It was a proper Vegas trip, wasn't it? It's like let's go get matching tattoos, and it's like, what if we met in real life? Um did you guys get matching tattoos though? We did, okay, yeah, we did. Um, and they are they've got their own story, haven't they? It caused they caused a hoo-ha.

SPEAKER_04 33:01

Oh goodness, yes, they did, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:03

Um and and for none of the reasons they thought were true, which I think is hilarious. So we walked into this, so we're in old town Vegas, and we've wandered into this tattoo parlor because it takes walk-ins, and we had no idea.

SPEAKER_04 33:25

Fremont Street.

SPEAKER_03 33:27

Yes, that's it. Uh it's all I I am really bad at landmarks and place names and things, so they I just don't know. I just go with the flow. I'm oh, we're going this way. Oh, that's great. Um so we've walked into this tattoo parlour, haven't we? And there's this chap there. Um gosh. What was his name, Alicia?

SPEAKER_04 33:54

Um was it Danny?

SPEAKER_03 33:58

Danny, yes. Danny with the he had the shirt on, didn't he? Because that's what Elena called him.

SPEAKER_04 34:05

So anyway, I just remember he rode motorcycles too and had a dog.

SPEAKER_03 34:10

He was so cool. So, you know, an older guy, I say older is my age, um ex-surfer, like professional surfer, and uh rode motorcycles. Uh, you know, he was like the epitome of the the tattoo guy, wasn't he? Yes, super cool, really laid back, um, really chill, but knows his stuff, and his his kind of best practice, uh, hygiene and all of this was brilliant because we were watching him, weren't we? And uh, you know, sometimes you get a bit of a not a great feeling. Um, but this guy, he was absolutely on it, and he talked us through because we had no idea what we wanted either, did we?

SPEAKER_04 34:55

We were like, oh, we took a while deciding, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 34:59

And he was really patient, and he was he was like, Well, you know, how did you guys meet? And he was asking all the right questions, like you know, trying to figure out what we would actually want, and we'd figured out that actually, what about an acronym, what if we met in real life, um, should be in there somewhere. Um then he he suggested the kind of typewriter font, didn't he? Um he did, and then we were like, well, actually, we met through Audio Erotica, and and he's like, What? We were like, uh porn, audio porn, and he's like, Oh, yeah, cool, that's great. And then he's like, Well, let's have you know, you need headphones. So, and then it was like, Yeah, but what kind of headphones? So we were Umin and Aring, we were he was very patient and very lovely, and um, and then we all sat in the chair, didn't we? And Elena had never had a tattoo. This was her first tattoo. She had been hassled by her friends to get tattoos for a really long time, and she hadn't done it. So she she was gonna get shit, wasn't she, when she went home. Basically, she was.

SPEAKER_04 36:17

Yeah, she said her co-workers were gonna give her shit.

SPEAKER_03 36:20

But Angela's like, yeah, don't worry about them. It we're more important.

SPEAKER_01 36:27

And then she's in the chair and she's going, tell your kids that I love them, tell the dog that I love him, getting all dramatic about it. And Danny was just cracking up, wasn't he? He was having a lovely time, and I think he enjoyed the whole session. He thought it was brilliant.

SPEAKER_04 36:48

Uh I just remember walking out and Angela telling Elena. So the next time we see you, you're gonna be all tatted up. She said, because once you've had your first one, that's it. It's addictive, it truly is. I've been thinking about my next one too.

SPEAKER_03 37:11

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I think we all, well, we've all got ink now, and uh I I've had one that's it's been a project for many years down my left arm, so it's gradually moving down, and uh, but I like lots of different people working on it. I don't want just one person, I want to hear their stories, and because you you know, these guys they're fascinating. I'd say we found out that Danny was uh ex-professional surfer and then moved to Hawaii to teach kids to surf, and Elena was then like, oh wow, and they were chatting about places that they knew. And and this is the thing, it's like when you're when you're a storyteller, you you want to hear the stories because they make up your stories, you know. You want to hear people's backgrounds, you want to hear the hard stuff, you you you want to kind of deep dive into all sorts of things, and the most interesting people I know have the best, most relatable stories going, and and you use that, you use that in your art, and you it and my whole life I've enjoyed stories, writing stories, especially. And uh, so these people give you the material for more stories, so it's it and I just I love it. I like and people watch it like Vegas is the best place for people watching as well.

SPEAKER_04 38:41

Oh, it absolutely is. Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_03 38:44

The pool, the pool.

SPEAKER_04 38:47

The pool was oh my gosh, oh my god. Oh my god, all you have to do is read that poem and you'll get the vibe. Yeah, you'll get the vibe for what was going on in that pool.

SPEAKER_03 39:02

Yeah, I wouldn't get in it, would I?

SPEAKER_05 39:04

You were like I was like, I'm gonna kill these.

SPEAKER_04 39:15

There was a lot of ass.

SPEAKER_03 39:17

There was so uncovered ass. You don't know how what their habits are like, you'd and that that you know there's all these guys in there, and we know that a lot of guys do not even touch their asses, so I wasn't going anywhere near that water. So sorry, I'm sure it was hygienic and lovely and clean and wonderful, but I wasn't putting my feet in it.

SPEAKER_04 39:45

I was I was in tits deep.

SPEAKER_03 39:46

So I'm immunocompromised, I have to think about these things, she says.

SPEAKER_04 39:57

I mean, it I mean, it was fun to go out and tan.

SPEAKER_02 40:01

It was very hot, it was very hot for the time of year.

SPEAKER_04 40:04

It was like 94 degrees that day, I think. And uh yeah, we went out and went to the pool, and the second day we just rented a like a little cabana sort of thing, and um, because we just weren't gonna deal with it. And that was pretty cool. That was pretty cool. White claw was having a thing out there, and so we got some white claws, and it was nice. Um, but yeah, I mean that definitely inspired a poem, and that was Angela, and Angela inspired another one of my scripts too. Um, when I wrote Bats, Booze, and Blood. That was an Angela's script, and and what was weird is she wasn't even there when the inspiration occurred. It was just somebody getting drunk in a chat and mouthing off, and I was like, I'm all right about this, and it was one of her favorite moments.

SPEAKER_03 41:02

I used to love it when she'd start baiting um certain people, and I would just be like, This is entertaining, and uh, and then she'd get into the into our chat and be like, I've been banned, we are blocked again, yes, that's what we're living for, absolutely. So just yeah, unapologetic completely, but she did totally unapologetic, yeah. She's has inspired us an awful lot on an awful lot of things as well. And when we've we were stuck, or you know, if we ever got stuck, we'd be like sounding it out with her, and she'd be like, Yeah, well, what about this? Because she always had this amazing ability to just pick stuff out of your brain and and put it into words, and you'd be like, Ah, yeah, that's exactly it. Um, or she would just sit with you until you figured it out and worked it through. And uh, and also like I I can be really dark in my writing. Um Delilah knows, I mean, she's read some of my stuff, and it is, I think it's um responsible in the area that it's in, in that it's not romanticising stuff. Um, I mean, I'm talking about five guys here.

SPEAKER_04 42:26

Right, I know exactly which one you were talking about.

SPEAKER_03 42:30

Really, yeah, and it is very heavy. Um, mine the tags, mine the tropes. It's quite a dark one, but I think it's been approached, well, with all my knowledge of um like the kink scene and uh the the certain different types of DOMs that you get and their particular um flavours, if you like, but it is quite intense, isn't it? And and I would I would be like, Angela, is this too much? She'd be like, give it to me, and then she'd read it, she'd be absolutely not. This is great, give me more.

SPEAKER_00 43:05

So she was really good at stopping you getting into your own head about stuff, and she was also so good at like thinking outside of the box and helping you think outside of the box as well, yeah, completely.

SPEAKER_03 43:21

Um so and I I said it out loud, didn't I? Is that I will get five guys done. Um, and I'm even more determined now. It started out as a script, and I liked the character so much that I actually wrote a story. Um, and it's now sitting at about 8,000 words, I think. So it makes for probably a good wow, I don't know what would that be in audio terms with pacing and c an hour and a half, maybe. I don't know, maybe, once you've put all the sound effects and whatnot in.

SPEAKER_04 44:00

Right, right. I I'm trying to I'm trying to think because it can be edited so differently. And I mean, the way that you do like dramatic pauses to make the listener lean in a little bit closer.

SPEAKER_03 44:13

I mean there's a lot going on, so it won't necessarily be pauses. It will be all the delicious stuff.

SPEAKER_04 44:21

Well, yeah, I mean you got to think about like the moans, the screaming, the blowjob sounds. The you know, if you ever need any of those, you know, I gotta bang.

SPEAKER_03 44:30

Oh my gosh, I have I have some in my foley file. Thank you. Um, I have I have blown. I was like, I need some blowjob sounds. Alyssia's like, I'm on it.

SPEAKER_04 44:44

Yeah, yeah. And and you know, I was I was telling Ophelia, remember when I did the class in the chat with you guys, how I sent you guys the videos of how you can have like organic sounds with your dildos. Yeah. And the size of the dildo is gonna depend on how it sounds. So if you get the larger one, it's almost impossible not to have sounds pass your vocal cords. And then if you get the smaller ones, it's easier to have the femme bot blowjob just sucky sucky sounds.

SPEAKER_03 45:19

Honestly, it's a whole thing.

SPEAKER_04 45:21

And um, she's probably like, oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 45:25

But this is what we do.

SPEAKER_00 45:27

I mean, this is not I'm not like, oh my god, though, because like this is just like talking to Angela, like this is the craziest shit that would come out of her mouth, too.

SPEAKER_04 45:35

Yeah, we make our sounds organically, yeah, whenever we do fully an audio editing.

SPEAKER_03 45:41

And this was the thing that she'd she was learning as well was like um she loved immersive audio, didn't she? She loved anything with sound effects and um like foley and all of this, and and we would chat quite a lot about uh like what do you want in it? What do you want to hear? And she she would always be like everything you can throw at it. So um I think a lot of our stuff is quite cinematic because of it, and it and it's um so I've recently did a series, didn't I? Again, she voiced one of the characters um based in a in a lab called uh Eros Industries and it's a seven-part, I mean, they're all bite-sized pieces. The whole thing together, if you want to binge it, is probably just about an hour long. Um, because a lot of people in this space are a bit neurospicy and they can't sit for an hour. A lot of them can't sit for an hour and focus. So I've cut it up into like 10, 15 minute sections so that they can either, you know, I say they like literally anyone can either take a little bite-sized episode or the whole lot in one go. And she was desperate, wasn't she, to to be one of the characters. So I wrote Dr. Marrow Quinn for her so that she could do a uh an observational piece. So you've got um kind of different styles of audio all through this series. So you had update reports like a captain's log, you know, from Star Trek, um, mission date, blah blah blah, and then it would tell you what was going on and what the discoveries were. It's all kind of sci-fi futuristic type stuff. Um so I wrote her this part, and she just jumped in both feet, she was all in there and she did such a great job. Um she did. She was yeah, she was just getting started with it all, wasn't she? And I think she realized that actually this is something I can do, and and then she realized that there were people that could write stuff for her as well. And uh yeah, so it was it's just a little bit devastating that she just won't realise that now. I mean, I'm very, very glad she's in the bits that we've done. Like Delilah's got some beautiful readings that she's done and some quite naughty ones, which are fantastic. And then I've got the yeah, so but you did say you'd never write a sonic poem again. Never.

SPEAKER_04 48:28

Uh uh, those were hers, and so the sonic poems are no more. I won't be doing those. Um yeah, I just unhingedly wrote a sonic poem around Christmas time that was very erotic. Because that's what you do. I know it was like the most unhinged thing. I I don't even remember what I was doing that night, and she was just like, Can I read it? And I was like, Yeah, you can read it. I don't mind. You can read whatever you want to.

SPEAKER_02 49:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 49:04

And so she read it and she did a great job. She had a lot of fun. Yeah, and that was that was like what attracted people to her, is whatever she did, she was just having fun doing it. And I remember writing another poem for her called Neon Predator, and it was about a DJ, and there was body paint involved in the eroticism with that one. And she goes, I liked it, but I don't like it as much as the sonic poems. And I said, Okay, you can have my sonic poems. I'll write more every holiday. And so I did that, and we were gonna start doing the naughty holiday sonic poems too. But yeah, I am um I'm keeping my villainess, I am keeping my creature kisser, and I'm keeping my good boy series. Um, but I'm not gonna do any Sonic poems anymore. Those ones. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 50:05

Uh yeah, there are certain things, aren't there, that they don't belong to anybody else.

SPEAKER_04 50:10

They don't. And and honestly, if my mind goes to Sonic, I can't bear to write it.

SPEAKER_02 50:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 50:21

You know, it's it definitely does not hit the same way. Like, I don't want to play the game, I don't want to see the movie on Netflix, I don't want to, you know, it's kind of just that right now, you know. And yeah, like Ophelia said earlier, it'll get better. Just not right now. And that's okay.

SPEAKER_03 50:43

Yep. Yeah, I'm still processing. It's still I mean, it's been it's been actually a pretty horrendous year for myself personally, um, to the point where I think story time is cursed. Uh because it's um, yeah, but you know what I mean. It's like when I very first found this space, um I mean I've been bimbling around for a really long time. I've been writing for many, many years, and I've been involved in like stage stuff, screen stuff, radio stuff. Um, but it's all had a more serious edge. I mean, it's I've done comedy and all this, that and the other, but it's always been very vanilla. And then when I think I first discovered Audio Erotica, and I mean dark romance has always been a thing, um, the books and the stories. I know it's it's really uh finding its stride right now. Uh well, not just dark romance, but uh erotic romance, uh, romantic, all of that, the the the whole thing is just really finding its flavour right now, and I'm so excited for it because back in the day it was Jackie Collins and Barbara Cartland, and you know, they were the people I was reading um back in the day, and uh so I mean Jackie Collins, absolute icon, completely love her. Jillie Cooper, her rider series was just phenomenal. Um, so it I mean, it's not a new thing, it's been around for a really long time, but just lately the space has especially with the rise of the indie author and how much easier it is to publish. You can self-publish now, you don't have to have a publishing house, you can write whatever the heck you like without the censorship that you get from a lot of the big publishing houses, and you and you just think, well, I'm gonna do it myself.

SPEAKER_04 52:52

I've had this great idea about I don't know, a sentient hot dog, or I mean some of the stuff that's out there louder for the people in the back, and it is why I will probably never traditionally publish. Yep.

SPEAKER_03 53:07

Uh there is there are and it's it's one of these things. So I've been writing these stories for so long, and then I found that actually I r fit really well in this space. I can do the fluffy daft stuff, and I can do the really, really dark stuff that actually only a very few people know that that's where my brain goes sometimes. Um it's not a shameful thing, it's just um it can be shocking. You know, you think you know someone, and when you when you start exploring that world, but to do it in a responsible way and a way that honours the actual space that you're writing about, like Kink and uh like the BDSM space, the queer space, all of this. You have to write with knowledge, you can't just write about it. That's not that's not right. You have to do your research, you have to know what it is you're writing about, otherwise you're doing the whole thing a disservice. That's my passion. And I think this was another thing with Angela is she was starting to learn about all of this stuff, and it she was fascinated by it all. I mean, she knew stuff, but she was kind of deep diving into it, and it was and she'd be asking questions, and so I think she was just really curious about everything to do with Audio Erotica, and she said she loved the book space, was her first love. She that was you know where she found her happy place, but then she discovered Audio Erotica and the voice artists in that space. I mean, she was hitting people up left, right, and centre for for their knowledge and their experiences, and you know she just had this way of asking questions, and people would just answer them. So she was networking like I've never seen, and chatting to all sorts of people because she was just naturally a curious person, and and I think she was just fascinated by the audio space, and and she was starting to move more and more into that, um, and getting quite curious about all the different levels of uh subjects and tropes and genres that there are, and uh like we've said as well, Delilah, haven't we? We we choose what we listen to by the tags, it's our shopping list.

SPEAKER_04 55:43

Exactly, exactly. And you know, people will send things to me and I'll be like, Oh, that's a nice menu. Literally. I think one voice actor told me recently, hey, I really want you to protect your heart before you listen to my stuff. And I'm just like, Do you know who I am? Right? Have you met like I did this thing? Do you know who I am?

SPEAKER_03 56:06

Yeah, she contains multitudes. Oh my gosh. You look like an angel, you look far too sweet for this world.

SPEAKER_04 56:16

You know what? Somebody else told me that recently, and they were just like, you know, I listened to your poem that you recorded, and I was just like, oh my god, she's a pun.

SPEAKER_03 56:28

I was there for it. I was punching the air. I've never heard the C-word drop so many times. It was like, yes.

SPEAKER_04 56:37

I'm waiting for Instagram. I'm waiting, I'm waiting for daddy Instagram to come and just spank me on the ass real hard and drop my account. I'm just like, how far can I go? Wow. Because like you personally, you didn't even do anything, Ophelia. And they dropped your account. And I was just pictures of my ass on there and they haven't said anything.

SPEAKER_03 57:00

Yeah, I got I got nuked. My first account got nuked back in November. Um, but I it's my own fault, really. I got I got quite vocal about a few things, and and and I think it's the fact that I named a couple of people, and um apparently that went against uh some sort of guideline um because it's kind of slanderous or libelist or whatever it is. And uh I was like, yeah, but it's true, so it can't be any of those things. But I think when you when you name names, when you yeah, um it becomes a bit problematic. So but I'll stand by it. I will stand by it a hundred percent. And yes, I've had to work hard to build that space back again, but I'm not sorry. I'm really not sorry. Um I know and I and I don't I don't do any of that. And I find I don't know if that hurts or helps my brand in this space, but I'm an older lady, people don't really want to see. I mean, or maybe they do, who knows? Every everybody has like the stuff they like.

SPEAKER_04 58:15

Um, and that's why pick not too long ago, and it was fantastic. So do not demean what you look like ever. You are gorgeous.

SPEAKER_03 58:24

Thank you.

SPEAKER_04 58:24

I appreciate you saying that, but also I have to say, too, in the audio erotica world, when I meet new people, like how I just did these auditions for Flame in the Hollow when I was meeting a ton of new voice actors and actresses, they knew who you were. I don't know if you know this, but you're a big deal.

SPEAKER_03 58:45

No way, it that's weird to hear because I just, you know me, I just do my thing. And uh and and this is the thing because and this is the other thing, is that I I I don't think I'm unfriendly, but I do have boundaries and I do set them very, very firmly. And this is a conversation we've had, Delilah, isn't it, on boundaries. It's like content does not mean consent. Um just because you're writing about it doesn't mean you can show me your dick in in my DMs. That's not how it works, right? Um it's and and if anyone ever does that, it's that it it I will tell them off and then block them. That's just who I am.

SPEAKER_04 59:37

Um never the good dicks either.

SPEAKER_03 59:40

It's always the little ones. That are showing you their dicks, uh, that yeah, they're not the ones you want to see. There's certain ones I would quite like to see. And it's also it's the the fake dom thing really on my nerves, you know. They're like, I don't know, wet behind the ears, um have no idea about life or or the universe or anything, and they think they can dominate someone through private messages. No, again, that's not how it works, go away, uh right. And it's unfortunately, this space is just filled with uh chances in that way, and uh but again, I don't know if people are liking what I do because no one really tells me. You guys do obviously, um, but then I don't fish for it either. I just like what I like, I do what I do, I write what I write, I feel very fulfilled by that. I do love praise, I do love people telling me how wonderful I am and how brilliant I am. I will be weird about it because I'm British.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:00

Do you have a praise kink Ophelia? Yeah, yeah, bring it. Yes, she does. She likes to hear when she's being a good girl.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:12

Oh, I really likes to call people good girls too, which is me.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:16

I I I really like calling people good girls. Yeah. I'm actually writing at the moment a script, which I think I'm gonna voice myself because I'm feeling quite selfish about it. And uh I think you should. It's uh, I mean, oh Delilah, you already know it's the Meretta mask, which is uh a Venetian mask worn a certain way, um, or the mute mask, and it basically is a face-shaped um material mask with a button, just a button on the inside, so you have to hold it with your teeth so you can't talk or open your mouth or do anything whilst you're wearing this mask. And and I like to learn about stuff. I'm I'm all the time, Delilah knows this. I am all the time fettling about, oh, what is that? Or I'll hear someone say something, and I'll be like, oh, what is that then? And so I deep dive quite a lot into all sorts of things, and I saw this and thought that would make a really hot sapphic script based on this woman wearing a mask and then being mentored by an older woman at this Phoenician ball. So that's what I'm writing about at the moment, and uh I conversely, it's a lot more serious than the last three scripts I just wrote, which are based on um British stories. So we've got Delilah, you were cracking up, weren't you? We've got Throbin Hood.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:54

Um Throbin Hood was fantastic.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:57

We've got the ugly cuckling and double Dick Turpin. Now, Dick Turpin, not I don't know if anyone outside of the UK knows who it is. Um he was a highwayman, a robber in Georgian times, based on a real character, on a real person. Oh so I don't know if you know the song by Adam Ant Stand and Deliver, money or your life. Um, so he kind of modelled himself on this dandy highwayman, and um so he's called Dick Turpin, that's his actual real name. Um and then I was like, Well, he definitely needs two dicks, uh and he needs to be robbing some courtesan on the highway, and she needs to be having a lovely time. So I've done these three absolutely insanely mad scripts, and then so I I go all over the place, a bit like Delilah. She's you explore, don't you?

SPEAKER_04 1:04:00

I'm a mood writer though, so you know it it just kind of all depends. I started out with paranormal romance where we were ghost fucking the headless horseman. Yeah, I mainly yeah, and Stefan is still my Mary. Like, I would still marry Stefan. Yeah. Um, Aries is my dark romanticy um dom sort of creature.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:28

Elodie's here for it, and my second book in the She's a slut for him, she's not just there for it.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:35

Yeah, she's a slut, and you just wait until Chain by Fire because her dad is a slut too. I mean, Slangfoot has something coming for him, and I don't think he knows what it is. Yeah, he just agreed to play the part when the audiobook comes out.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:54

He has he he I don't think he has limits to be fair on on what he'll narrate. So I and he will bring it. I mean, good. That's he's got a voice that I could listen to my whole entire life.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:09

Oh, he truly does phenomenal.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:11

He truly does a phenomenal voice actor.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:13

His erotic poetry is just like it makes me scream sometimes just reading his little posts.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:20

I'm just he was he was definitely another one of my recommendations from Angela with slangfoot for sure. Oh, she loved him, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:29

She loved him. Uh-huh. You remember when she was just like, How come I'm not one of his close friends on Instagram? Why are you able to see that post and I'm not? And she was so pissed.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:43

And then I messaged him and said, Angela's crying. And he was like, Why? And I was like, Because you're not her close friend. And he he was like, Oh my god, I'm so sorry.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:57

I didn't even think you realize sometimes that. Who did and I didn't realize she was following half of us or not following half of us.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:05

He had no idea. He just, yeah, and he he immediately rectified it and was very apologetic. So uh, and then she was happy. Uh, but yeah, she was just like, Don't you love me? Why do you hate me?

SPEAKER_04 1:06:19

She wanted the thirst trap picture, that's what it was.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:24

That was the best one, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_04 1:06:26

She's like, I want to see my chest, why can't I see his chest? It was literally just his chest, and she was just like, Why can't I see that?

SPEAKER_03 1:06:33

Yeah, the panic was real. We were like, babes, we'll fix it for you, don't worry. And uh, but in so, and I think any space like this, you you have your favorites, and uh there's a group of us, isn't there, where we trade skills an awful lot. So some of us are writing, some of us are narrating, some of us are doing all sorts of things, and then it makes you not want to approach other people, I find, because I find that I'm writing for these voices now. Yes, uh, and and that's fine, that's absolutely fine because I I think that it's not about numbers, it's not about popularity, it's not about uh perceived um what can you do for me? Can you get my name out there? It's about you have a skill that I I need, and I have a skill that you can showcase it. So it the quality of work that we get as a group is I think on a par with anything out there, to be fair. Some of some of the other platforms um stuff we're producing in our own little way is of the highest quality, and the the sound and production that you're getting and the acting is I think superior to a lot, and I'm gonna say it at the risk of being quite unpopular about it, but some of the people that are huge in the space they just don't hold a torch to our guys, they really don't. Um, the the men and the women in our little bunch um are supremely, supremely talented and convincing. I I listen to the audios that are coming through with them and they are phenomenal. Um and I'm immersed in them as they're telling them, and and they make you feel a certain way, and and I think one of the tragic things about working in this space is you tend to lose that, oh, this is really turning me on aspect of it because you get quite analytical about it all. Um, and I don't know if either of you have found this. It's like you're you're dissecting what's going on rather than experiencing it and enjoying it, and I and I have made a can uh concentrated effort to get back into that space. Like, how is this making me feel? And I've just had an audio come back actually in raw form that I think people are gonna explode. They're just gonna explode when they hear it. When I know I've got some editing to do, but I don't know if I'm gonna be able to manage it all in one go. And you know, when you hear certain lines and you're just like, Well, I'm not okay. And the really cool thing is, is I I wrote those lines and I'm the first person to hear those lines, and this is amazing.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:45

So, yeah, it's about bringing your character to life, too. When I hear somebody narrate one of my scripts or read from my books, I'm just like, wow. Yeah, and when I did auditions for Flame in the Hollow, and I was choosing between Stefan, between Odette, between Michelle. The angst was real, wasn't it? Oh my god, yes. I was just like, the amount of talent that is out there is absolutely incredible. And and after I casted it and I posted the cast list, I had a ton of people reaching out to me going, What did I do wrong? And my answer was nothing. Yeah. Nothing like you. I just hear the character in my head and I chose the best fit. But Flame in the Hollow is not my only book, it's not going to be my only book. I write scripts too, and Ophelia, and I I think you and I just kind of do everything.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:48

Um because we're greedy like that. We we want to hear, and I think a lot of it is is yes, there's some amazing stuff out there, but there was nothing out there that we wanted, there was nothing out there for us. Right. So we ended up inventing and creating the stuff that we wanted to hear and read. And I think that's why we aligned so well, is that we we couldn't find what we wanted, so we were like, well, well, I'll just do it myself then. Um it turns out a lot of other people want that too, right?

SPEAKER_04 1:11:28

Right. You just have to put yourself out there, and I think that's what you'll find. And I I mean, I was I was telling Alicia earlier that I know that my writing is not for everyone, but the people that it is for are here for it. Yeah. 100%.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:46

So and I'm a pink lemonade girl. I that needs to be an audiobook stat.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:52

I must say, Delilah, I'm I I'm gonna laugh at it, I'm sure. And I said, you know, maybe it will get me back into writing, but Bernadette is my mom's name. Um, so this is gonna be rather interesting for me.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:06

It certainly is, and you will never look at dip and dots this or something. So I think Julia has been waiting for pink lemonade for about 85 years. Yeah. Um, I I have a friend, and he asked me about my books, and he was like, Oh, well, did you put a Bigfoot Easter egg in there? Because all of your books about are about people fucking in the forest. Like, you should put a Bigfoot Easter egg, and I was just like, Oh, it's too late now, but would you like me to write you a Bigfoot book? And he said, Yeah. And so when I asked him um what he wanted the book to be about, I want to say it's on page seven. I don't have the book right now. The text is what is me.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:53

Chef's kiss, chef's kiss, and you posted that. I did, and I was like, if you don't write this, I will literally come and kill you.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:06

Yep, yep. I was already half dead. Uh I was just like, okay, so I spent some time writing that book. Um, I gave him a PR box. My sister had crocheted some little Allen's, my Bigfoot shifter, and then I got 3D printed sasquatches too, and I put um some stickers in there, and then two packets of pink lemonade Kool-Aid and the book. And I deliver it to him, and he comes out and he's just kind of taking stuff out of the box, and then he goes, Oh shit, Kool-Aid. Right? Like, out of all of the stuff, I'm like, I spent like almost a year writing you a book.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:57

And and this box had the book in it, and he was more you were like fuming.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:03

I was like, I spent like a dollar on the Kool-Aid.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:09

You're like, I've written this whole ass book for you, and you're more excited about Kool-Aid.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:15

I was like, damn, but yeah, that book does need to go into audio because people really love it. It is my second highest selling book. And um I was not expecting that.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:29

Really? Because I was I've I think I've bought it in every format.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:37

I'm like, yeah. And I I know you were waiting for it. And I know when I come and see you in September for the Once Upon a Time Book Festival. Very exciting. I know you were like, you need to bring pink lemonade because people are gonna just eat it up.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:53

Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'll be wrapping that as well. Don't you worry. I'll be like, I'm narrating this one as well. You can if you want to.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:02

Like you might have to fight somebody over it though, because for whatever reason, that book just gained a lot of traction. And I was like, oh, I was surprised by it. Umphelia, I feel like never gives herself enough credit, though, as much as she does. Yeah, I'm just like, you know, I know she was talking about my imposter syndrome earlier, but she is like this figure to so many people. So when I casted the part of Odette to Vixen Vocals, also known as Ren Fox, that was like she was so cute, she was so excited, and so she freaked out in the chat with me for a minute, and then she went, Can I tell Ophelia? And Ophelia already knew, um, because Ophelia was the first one that I cast. And I was just like, sure, you could go tell Ophelia. And the way that I felt about it was that I'm gonna go tell my mom. Hey, yeah, like I'm so excited. I'm so excited. That's the way that I felt about it. Now I was like, Obi, she's so excited.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:09

It was the cutest thing because she's like single, single text coming in through my DMs, Ofi, Ofi, Ofi, Ofi, Ofi, Ofi, Ofi. I was like, what? She's like, I'm Odette. And I was like, and then I I had to like she'll kill us for this. I had to make out that I it was a surprise. And I was like, oh my god, fuck yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:32

And then I felt terrible because I she was a front runner for a long time. Yeah, she really was. And I listened to every single audition that came in, and there were a few people that were like inch and up there, but none can just surpass her in the way that I thought about her and the way that she did both the white swan and the black swan, so amazingly.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:59

They were distinct two different people. It was so good.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:02

Yes, yeah, it was so good, and so I just finally said, I'm gonna stop making her sweat, I'm gonna tell her. And she was just like it was adorable. I could tell she was like, this poor girl, she's so excited. Yay!

SPEAKER_03 1:17:22

So excuse me, sorry, I'll it was a moment, yeah. It's I mean, it's great, and then of course, Angela's like in in on it all the way through, she's very discreet as well. She's so like you could tell her anything, and and she was great uh about and especially stuff like this that was so big, and um, but and again, but she was quite critical as well in this space. Uh, like if you said, Oh, I want so-and-so to do this, she'd be like, Mmm, no, I don't think they're quite right. So she was quite honest about yeah, uh so you could run stuff by her and know that you would get honest feedback, um, which is so valuable in this space because you know there's a lot of people that just go with it and and don't have a critical thought about it. But she would be like, No, but have you thought about this person? Which again would be the left field suggestion, and you'd be like, Oh yeah. Um, so and she was she would always say our names in the rooms we weren't in, always. Um and and I think that's that was her gift, most definitely. She was always thinking about how she could improve your chances. How how what can I what could she do to give you your best chance? And uh, and I think that's one of her greatest gifts was was putting you in rooms that you wouldn't necessarily think about putting yourself into and uh and saying your name. And I think that connected with Alicia, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:03

And I must say, I think I don't know if I had this conversation with the both of you or mainly just you, Delilah, but I was trying to introduce like a reader question segment at the end of all of my podcasts, and I got no, no one had questions, but Angela, she was like, I never know the great unhinged questions, but I'll be back. And I'll I must say, the hour and plus that we've been on here right now, I'm like, all of these five questions that she handed to me, you guys were like at the forefront of her mind when she came up with these questions because like the comment of Ophelia and like searching, you know, certain things. And I'm just like it immediately brought me back because one of the questions that Angela had given me was what is the strangest thing in your search history because of your books?

SPEAKER_03 1:20:03

I don't, I have mine, I mine doesn't remember.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:06

I've got my search history turned off because even I can't cope with oh what did what is it what what was I thinking at 3 a.m.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:19

Yeah, so I'm I'm not incognito, but I have I have turned search history off. So you'll never know. You'll never know.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:27

And then it's not been good. One of her questions that she had given me was on a scale of one to therapy is needed, how much of your own subconscious is in your books?

SPEAKER_02 1:20:41

That's a good question.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:44

It really is.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:46

Yeah, that's a really good question.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:50

And then you're Delilah. You can answer this one.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:57

Okay, my own subconscious in my books. I want to say it's probably about 95% of that subconscious.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:06

Yeah, so you're uh so you're leaning more toward the therapy is needed side.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:12

I don't want anybody to leave my books without needing those. That's a great submission.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:20

Well, I'm rocking in a corner.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:22

Yeah, I mean, honestly, and it's not just my sex scenes either. I always want to make sure that, you know, similar to Game of Thrones, my war matches my sex. Yeah, which was also a great show. Um, where, you know, yeah, you have this level of spice that is totally crazy. You kind of have a hard time imagining the positions, and there's pink jizz everywhere, or ectoplasmic jizz, or there's bonds being shoved in your ass. In everything, everything, right? There's something happening here that is magical and unhinged and crazy, and also Bigfoot just cures ocular diseases.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:03

And so I mean, my diabetic retinopathy could be gone if this was actually Alan jizzing in my face, but oh my gosh, now I yeah, that's a that's a mental image.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:15

I might have to mute for a minute.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:20

No, and I mean it's it's just kind of one of those things where, you know, if you can read it and you can laugh, or you could just kind of make a face and just go, what the fuck? Like it makes you think a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:31

Tilt your head.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:32

I've done my job. I've done my job. And I mean, you know, it doesn't have to be this crazy, profound Shakespearean thing. It is just something that makes you feel good. It's a vibe, and that's what I want to put out there. I dyed my hair pink for that book. Yeah, you did.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:57

Can I say though, just because it's ridiculous and unhinged doesn't mean it's not well written. Um, and I think the main it's not an issue as such, but the main problem is that you people want your books to be longer. They want more, they want more detail, they want more backstory, they want more of these characters, which but having said that, I think Flame in the Hollow for a debut novel or or uh on the shorter end is um or novella. It's strong, it's really good. And I think again, like the only issue is is actually this needs to be this needs to be like 500 pages long. Sorry, right?

SPEAKER_04 1:23:42

Was Flame in the Hollow needed to be longer, they wanted to hear more about Stefan, more about Odette. They wanted to hear more about Michelle, the gypsy. They were just like, especially her, like what's her deal.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:54

But this is stuff you can explore. This is all I mean, I think, and this has always been my thing is the story you need to tell the story first, you need to get the story out of you first, then you can do the work. Um, and I think when you're first starting out in the space and feeling your way and figuring out yourself, because it's no small undertaking writing. Uh you're putting your soul on these pages for people to read, and it's it's a big deal, and sometimes you just got to learn your craft, and people have to let you learn your craft as well. Right. No one is instantly uh, you know, writing the Odyssey. That's just not how it works. No, you write the poems, you write the short stories, you figure shit out, you you find your flavor and your tone, um, which carries through everything that you write. And I think it doesn't matter what it is, you can instantly pick up a book by a certain person and know it's written by that person because that's their flavor. And and these are all things that you have to learn and explore. And the and I think this is the main issue I have with social media is it's so instant, and people expect everything instantly, and that's just not how it works. So they have to give you the grace to find out who you are and to make mistakes as well. You need to write the shit stuff too that doesn't do so well to figure out what it is that does work or what it is that people do want. And do you write for the majority, or do you write for yourself and the people that understand what you're writing about? You know, these are all considerations that you have to take on board. And I am an older lady who does not give a shit about whether it's popular or not. I write for me, and again, I write the stories that I can't find in this space because I know there are other people like me out there that just can't find what they're looking for, and I and I think that's why I'm having such a lovely time. And I know, Delilah, you're you're quite a bit younger than me, but we're of a very similar mindset.

SPEAKER_04 1:26:13

We have a similar means, and I agree with you a hundred percent because the best advice that I ever got when I first started writing was write for yourself. Yeah. Because your readers are gonna be able to tell if you love what you've written.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:26:28

When you overthink something too much, or you're worried about what everybody's gonna think of you, or if your book is gonna sell, or if you know just having that mindset of are people gonna love me? Your readers can tell that too. They can tell the lack of confidence, they can tell the lack of character development, they can tell the fear. Readers can smell fear in your book, they can smell it, they can smell it, and you don't want that. So if you release something that you're happy with that makes you laugh, that makes you smile, that makes your pussy wet, yeah, you've won.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:12

I completely agree.

SPEAKER_00 1:27:13

But that's one thing that I like I love about the just the community as a whole. It's reading is so subjective, and like you're gonna find your people no matter what.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:27:26

Yes. I think it's lucky to have Angela. I was so lucky to have her because as big of a hype girl as she was, she did audios mostly. So she would do the audios and little snippets, you know, that either people had done for her ALCs that she did, or for the Audio Erotica space. And I felt really lucky because for us, for our little group of people, she She was like, I'll promote your books. I'll read your books even.

SPEAKER_03 1:28:05

It's just like I feel like Yeah, and Angela didn't like reading books.

SPEAKER_04 1:28:10

She liked audiobooks. She would she drove 95% of the time for her day job. And so it was easy. Yeah. Just turn on an audiobook, listen to it in the car, and go. Yeah. That's how she got so much done. That was her secret.

SPEAKER_03 1:28:27

She and she loved it. That was what you know, she thrived on it as well. And uh and she'd be like, I I would read the physical book, she said, but I'm slow. Again, because she wasn't really home long enough, or she'd be busy or whatever. So, yeah, like you say, getting in a car, turning on an audiobook, uh it was so it that was her way of contributing to the space as well. And she she was very, very good at giving feedback as well.

SPEAKER_04 1:28:56

Yes, she was. Yes, she was, and that was honestly a good thing because when I was script writing for another VA, I actually chose her to be in a group that would review the scripts for me because I needed somebody who was going to be that honest.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:29:20

I was just like, be my friend, be my friend, be honest, because it's not gonna hurt my feelings for you to tell me that a line that I wrote sucks, or I need to use a different word, or are you sure this is the direction that you want to go in? Because it sucks. You know, I'm just I need somebody to tell me that sometimes. Otherwise, I'm not gonna get any better than what I do.

SPEAKER_03 1:29:47

Yeah, and I I think that's that's I think why we get on so well is because it there's it there's it's all done with love, everything is done with love, it's never with an ulterior motive, or um I mean she could be pissed at you, but she would still love you, and she wouldn't do anything to uh jeopardize that in any way, shape, or form, and she wouldn't take it out on you in that way either. So I say I did a couple of things that she was really mad about, but it was mainly because I was just being an idiot, and she'd be like, fuck girl, what are you doing? All right then, so um, yeah, she wrote me in a few times, and uh yeah, I'll be forever grateful for sure.

SPEAKER_04 1:30:37

Me too.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:38

I got straight up yelled at a few times, but then I there were things that she did, and I'd yell back, so we're even it's scary to get yelled at by a southern girl, though.

SPEAKER_04 1:30:50

I'm from California, like we're pretty chill here, and you know, we'll get mad and we'll be like, dude, come on, man, you know, and that's the way that it is, and then Angela will just be like, but what are you doing?

SPEAKER_03 1:31:03

Can you imagine how it affected me?

SPEAKER_04 1:31:10

They're like, it's tea time, I'm not supposed to be yelled at.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:12

Yeah, you're you're like, chill, dude. And I'm like going, oh my god, it's the end of the world.

SPEAKER_04 1:31:19

It's scary. It's scary to get yelled at by somebody with a southern accent. I'm just like, oh my gosh, like, wow, that is insane right now. But she got her point across every time. I mean, she didn't have to tell me twice.

SPEAKER_03 1:31:33

Yeah, it made us better, definitely.

SPEAKER_04 1:31:36

It did.

SPEAKER_03 1:31:38

Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_04 1:31:40

Yeah, it's you know, she was a lot of fun to be around. I feel like, you know, in in the two years that I knew her, she packed, like I said, she packed 15 in.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:31:53

She was always there. And I mean, half the time, you know, my face is stuck in my phone because I'm talking to her or texting her, yeah, or just randomly calling each other because I'm going to the hair salon and I needed somebody to talk to for half an hour. And she was there. She was there for it. And I would be like, what are you doing? I'm going to karaoke.

SPEAKER_03 1:32:17

Yeah. That was her big laugh. I do remember getting tipsy and singing poor unfortunate souls.

SPEAKER_04 1:32:25

Yes, you did that. You did that.

SPEAKER_01 1:32:29

Yeah. And then, and then what was the Moulan? Man out, I'll make a man out of you. Make a man out of you, which is a great song.

SPEAKER_03 1:32:39

Yeah, I know we have done um DM karaoke uh quite a lot. And uh, like I say, we'd make up stories uh about your foot.

SPEAKER_04 1:32:52

Yep, and we had to because the karaoke dude in Las Vegas at a 21 and older casino wouldn't let us cuss for some reason. And I was like, Well, I mean, this is my fucking vocabulary, right?

SPEAKER_03 1:33:04

And I was thinking to me, D, hello. He he just looked me dead in the eye when I first started, so it was tribute. He looked me dead in the eye and he said, No swearing. And there was a bunch of dudes, weren't they, sat on the table next to the stage of an age, and I started, and you heard the rift da-da-da-da, and they were like so. They were having a really great time. They sure were. And um, and then of course it got to the sweary bit. So I I ad libbed.

SPEAKER_04 1:33:38

You can't have songs in your in your karaoke uh library that are mostly swearing, all you don't want to see. Yeah, and I sing ain't no fun from Snoop Dog, and then the girls before me sang regulate, right?

SPEAKER_03 1:33:54

So I was just like he was terrible as well because he kept speeding the songs up. Yes, it's not this fast. This poor woman was was rapping along, and she was like hyperventilating because she just couldn't get a breath in. And and we were just like, this MC is shocking, absolutely shocking. So we were not that impressed, were we?

SPEAKER_04 1:34:21

We were no, we weren't, we weren't, but it was a fun night, you know. There were there were a lot of drinks. We walked back to the hotel. Uh, that was the same night we jumped over the wall. Um, yeah, Vegas was all little. We had gone to dinner at um Lisa Vanderpump's restaurant too that night, um, in the flamingo pinkies. That was fun.

SPEAKER_03 1:34:47

That was uh such good fun.

SPEAKER_04 1:34:49

That was extra. That was for your birthday. We went to celebrate.

SPEAKER_03 1:34:54

And our our waiter, uh, who was particularly gender fluid, bless, were like, oh hi, so how did you girls meet? Angela immediately went through porn.

SPEAKER_01 1:35:08

Through porn. Yeah. And they didn't know what to do with themselves. Oh, that's nice. I think Elena died at that point. She was laughing so much.

SPEAKER_04 1:35:23

She was just like, yeah, she laughed in her whole body, too, which is something I love about Elena. It's like when she laughs, it's so infectious. Yeah. And she just kissed me off.

SPEAKER_01 1:35:36

When she was sang on the escalator, that scared the crap out of me.

SPEAKER_04 1:35:42

I almost fell off the escalator. Elena sings, and she sings suddenly very loud.

SPEAKER_03 1:35:53

You were wow, that kick-started you, that's for sure. Um, but yeah, Elena's a really joyful person, um, just absolutely fantastic. And uh I think again, the four of us are so vastly different in our personalities in a lot of ways, but the the love of the written word and the spoken word definitely has brought us all together. And um her so sh but she's just joyful and very much in the moment, a very in the moment kind of person. So if something um caught, you know, there if there was a spark of joy, she'd send something, she'd say so. And I think that's why she and Angela got on so well, is I were they were quite similar in in that respect, in in that they say it, they say, they say, or they see it, they say it. Um whereas I think Delilah and I are slightly more reserved in that respect, unless we are at zombie burlesque.

SPEAKER_04 1:37:00

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 1:37:01

Yes. You okay saw a whole other side of me that night?

SPEAKER_04 1:37:07

That show was so fun because of you. Like I remember sitting next to Angela and perfectly, she wanted to go, but she wasn't feeling well. And I just remember her kind of just sitting there and she had her arms crossed.

SPEAKER_03 1:37:21

She was so poor.

SPEAKER_04 1:37:22

And I would be kind of like looking over at her just to make sure she was okay and not running a fever. And then I would see you just leaning forward and your arms would go up and you would go, fuck off.

SPEAKER_01 1:37:37

Oh my god! Waving his arms in the air.

SPEAKER_04 1:37:44

But that that show has been in Vegas for a long time. I saw that show probably about 15 years ago, and um, they've since cycled out the actors, they've made updates to the script a little bit, and it was still so much fun. I loved zombie.

SPEAKER_03 1:38:03

Hilarious. I have not laughed. I was in pain at the end of it, and then because I uh yeah, it was just fantastic. Um, Mikey. Oh, yeah, because I fell over by the pool. Uh, some dude was trying to get digits and he stuck his leg out in the walkway just as I was walking. And I'm I'm not massively steady on my feet anyway, because I'm old. Um, and he cropped me one, didn't he? And I landed face down on the deck.

SPEAKER_04 1:38:36

He did. I was like, oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 1:38:38

And I just thought, oh well, this is it. We're on our first day here, and I'm I'm gonna spend it in hospital.

SPEAKER_04 1:38:43

That's that was what was flashing through my mind. Ophelia's Ophelia's friends and family are never gonna let us have her again because we broke her the first day that we had her.

SPEAKER_03 1:38:53

Yeah, and uh he didn't get the digits though, so I was quite pleased about that. Um, and yeah, so I I had this delicious bruise on my face, and uh we decided that the backstory for that was that at the Zombie Belsque, um Mikey Mikey threw a dildo and it hit me in the face.

SPEAKER_01 1:39:20

That was our backstory.

SPEAKER_03 1:39:22

It's like, no, I didn't fall over, I got hit in the face by a dildo at a zombie balesque show, and uh and I feel like that was definitely Angela Coded for sure, because she's like, no, no, no, that's not how it happened. You didn't fall over at all.

SPEAKER_04 1:39:37

Not even a little bit. No, nope. We had we had to make we had to make something up. And I mean, it this was a this was a real possibility though, because the character Mikey did have a dildo that he was throwing around on stage. So it, you know, it was a blatant possibility as far back as we were, though. But that's what happened. That's entirely what happened. Yep, yep, that was that was the case. And I mean, another another core memory of that trip too was Rogue, the kink show at the Stratosphere, and how it was supposed to be the kinkiest show in Vegas, but we taught them what an Eiffel Tower was. Oh my goodness, the devil's triad. Yep, devil's triad, Eiffel Tower. I felt like everything I said, they were just like, oh, we have to Google that. We don't know what that is, but if it was vanilla, they knew what it was. And I was like, this is not the kinkiest.

SPEAKER_03 1:40:36

No you posted that as a story, and then they got in our messages, didn't they?

SPEAKER_04 1:40:42

And they were like, They did, they researched it.

SPEAKER_03 1:40:45

Yeah, they were just like that you taught us something we don't we didn't know. Thank you. And then we we were chatting a little bit, and uh they're really interesting people, aren't they?

SPEAKER_04 1:40:55

Um my goodness, and and she was doing flips through the air and all of this crazy stuff, and she was pregnant, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:41:03

Yeah, absolutely the dedication to the craft, and they were just the most beautiful people as well.

SPEAKER_04 1:41:12

They're very sweet, yeah. She just perches on his head, right?

SPEAKER_03 1:41:16

And and I just think that that's a level of trust, there, isn't there? I I it's you have to, yeah, and also I would imagine playtime's quite good fun.

SPEAKER_04 1:41:26

I mean, she's probably very bendy, he is too, is what I've noticed. Yeah, he he bent all the way backwards, and I was like, that's an angle, you know.

SPEAKER_03 1:41:34

Maybe we could use them when we're trying to figure out positioning scenes, right? Like just get in touch and be like, uh guys, we need you to just try this for us, please.

SPEAKER_04 1:41:46

Um, they'd probably be excited to do it, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:41:49

Because sometimes choreography, I mean, as you're writing, you're thinking, is this physically possible? I am not a great artist, so there are many stick figure drawings of me trying to figure out would this be possible? Um, and like I've got an idea. So I've got a Discord that our lot are in with a bunch of project ideas in there, and they are ranging from quite sweet-ish to absolutely unhinged, and one of the ideas is based around a meme that we posted in the chat. If Centures had uh like so if Centure has a penis, where does it sit? Does it sit where the man meets the horse's body, or is it in the horse's body, you know, like a normal horse cock, or does he have two? And and does the horse cock does the man cock disappear the same way the horse, you know, like it can tuck it away, the horse can tuck it away. And so this there was this whole debate about do censures have two dicks? And if they do, how how do they operate them? Which then turned into a script idea for um it's quite unhinged, and then it turned into this whole debate about um how physically possible is stuff, and then do women censures have two pussies? And then how does that work? And then does it become and can you have a daisy chain? And so there's this whole thing going on, which um I think Angela would have quite enjoyed, and she would have solved that problem quite efficiently. So we're we're kind of faffing around trying to figure stuff out, and uh, and I think when you're trying to figure out positioning and anatomy and stuff like that, you need people that are quite willing to jump in and help out. Do we know anyone else that could maybe do this? You guys uh must have some ideas. Maybe that's something we can put. So I'm just thinking out loud, this is what I do. We could put a like a PSA out there, couldn't we? For um circus acrobats and uh kinky burlesque people.

SPEAKER_00 1:44:18

We need you need a contortionist Ophelia. Yeah, that's it. Contortionist, that's the word I'm looking for.

SPEAKER_04 1:44:24

Wonder if we can when you write paranormal romance or monster romance or just creature kisser romances in general. I mean, these are the things you have to think about. You know, you what makes the most sense how a centaur is gonna fuck a woman? Like, how is this gonna work? And if we put him in a threesome or foursome, how is that gonna work?

SPEAKER_03 1:44:52

And obviously, there are a limited amount of holes in certain scenarios as well. So, do you use all of the holes? Like the guy's holes, the girls' holes, every all of the holes, yeah. So there's all of these, so yeah, all right, there are no do we know any contortionists in this space? Because that's what we need.

SPEAKER_04 1:45:11

I just create my own holes if I don't have enough holes.

SPEAKER_03 1:45:21

Don't because Patricia is now yammering in my ear. That's my muse. She's insane. Um it was Patricia. She's called Patricia after the character in Split, um, James McAvoy, who is just sublime in that movie with all of the different personalities that live with inside him.

SPEAKER_04 1:45:48

And uh his best role in I Will Die on This Hill.

SPEAKER_03 1:45:53

Yeah, I I was a bit meh about him. I like films that he's in, and then I saw that movie and my love knows no bounds for that guy as an actor because of that movie, and Patricia is one of the personalities that resides within his character, and I a lot for a long time. Whenever I do something slightly not me, I'm like, it wasn't me, it was Patricia. So that's now what my muse is called, and she just yammers on about all sorts of stuff, and uh most of the time I can get her to calm down, but sometimes I just have to go with it. Like at the moment, I'm on a massive writing bender. Um, because she's just in my ear about all sorts of things, but it does mean I'm clearing down all of these projects, which is kind of fun, um, and hopefully appealing to all sorts of voice artists that might want to get involved.

SPEAKER_04 1:46:58

You are. I actually remember when you posted about Throbin Hood, which I love that script. I love that script. And I remember I know that you mentioned Slade, um, Alicia at the beginning of this. I remember Slade commenting on it, going, I've never wanted to voice a male role more in my life. She's a villainess, though. She's my villainess. I write scripts for her, and it's where she's evil. Yeah.

unknown 1:47:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:47:26

So I just sent her another one because I'm finally starting to write again. I had a really difficult time picking back up.

SPEAKER_02 1:47:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:47:34

Just in projects in general. I think, you know, I told myself, give yourself some grace, take a break, don't do anything because you're not going to be able to put out anything nice.

SPEAKER_03 1:47:44

And you'll hate what you do.

SPEAKER_04 1:47:45

Yeah. Thank you. Yes, it'll be a bad memory. So I took that break and then I just felt like I was so behind. And what's crazy is I feel like I'm beating myself up. Nobody else is beating me up for it. Like nobody is really expecting anything. It's me going, like, oh my gosh, I'm so behind. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. And nobody else cares. Everybody knew what happened and what went on, and they were just like, you take your time. Right. And in the midst of all of the bad happening, there was some good things that happened too. You know, I got some really good ideas for Chain by Fire. I actually got picked up for some voiceover work too from Dirty Whispers. And so that was pretty awesome. Um, Ophelia, your book launched the day of, yeah. And it's all going to Project Mutual Aid.

SPEAKER_03 1:48:44

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 1:48:44

And I have to tell you, I was so happy to do that project and to even be considered.

SPEAKER_03 1:48:50

Well, you had to you had to narrate your own story.

SPEAKER_04 1:48:53

That was written while you were in hospital. You wrote that for me while I was in the hospital. That was so cute. There was a really cute doctor in the hospital. Um, but uh yeah, I was just so honored to be a part of that. And I did take a deep breath because I listened to it the night. And it was about 3 a.m. I could not sleep. And I was like, well, I'm gonna listen to this. I'm gonna do it. And so I put my headphones in, took a deep breath, went, okay, girl, one last project. And uh and I listened to it, and I thought that everybody did such an amazing job. And the ending dedication that you put in was just stellar, and um, you're right a hundred percent that she would have been so pissed off after trying to promote that book and recording for it and everything else if you didn't release it. But I'm I was right there with you for a moment. I considered pulling poems from my slutty heart. And um because Of the birthday poem.

SPEAKER_02 1:50:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:50:02

I was just like, I don't think I can do this. I don't want to sell it. I'll just take that poem out and I will re-release it. That it's fine. And then when Philip told you that, Angela's husband, um, I was like, he's right.

SPEAKER_02 1:50:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:50:18

He's so right. Like, she would be so mad. She was reading the majority of the poems from that book just because. Yeah. So um, yeah, and can you believe that that book surpassed Pink Lemonade?

SPEAKER_03 1:50:38

I think the whole the whole vibe is brilliant. I mean, pe I think people just love poetry, but that the cover is phenomenal, and the subject matter is phenomenal as well. Because why do poems have to be um prose and sweet and lovely and yearning?

SPEAKER_04 1:51:01

Oh no, mine are completely unhinged. It's like a seven-year-old boy wrote those books.

SPEAKER_03 1:51:07

But they're fantastic. And they're like and they're visceral and they're emotive and they're just outrageous and slutty, definitely. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:51:19

And some of them are based on true stories.

SPEAKER_03 1:51:20

Yeah, yeah. They you know they're based on on uh mythological characters and women of history. They are, and they're they are and so you've just put a really diabolical twist.

SPEAKER_04 1:51:35

I did, I did. Calling everybody a slut and a skank and everything else, but in a good way. Helen is very endearing. And that cover, by the way, is yours and Angela's and Elena's fault. So Alicia, my PA, I had asked her to make just a cover for that because my intention was to release that book and give it to the Jezebel members of my Patreon. And it wasn't serious, it wasn't, you know, anything. It was just, you know, I need a quick cover that's quick and dirty. Right. Make it slutty. So she sends me this cover and I show it to the girls because we're in Vegas together when I receive it, and they all went, make it sluttier. So that's how I got my cover that has whips, butt plugs, anal beads, a ball gag, all of the above on it. And um, I released the paperback just last week. And um, it's beautiful. I I wrote the little blurb with the warning on it. Yeah. And uh one of one of the girls that I know uh that reads all of my books, she immediately ran to buy it and she bought a copy for her mom. Oh boy. And she just told me life has been hard recently. I needed that laugh, and so did my mom. And now we have something stupid to talk about in the war when we have coffee together.

SPEAKER_03 1:53:09

Who knew that slutty poems would be a bonding moment?

SPEAKER_04 1:53:13

It was their calling. I'm enjoying the slutty poems too, and I I enjoy reading them so selfishly I read my own slutty poems.

SPEAKER_03 1:53:26

Well, you should read your own stuff. I know. You know how it's supposed to sound. This this again is is uh there are certain things that you can give out, and there are certain things that you need to honour. So if you need to you know that things that you've written have to sound a certain way, and and I hate to say this, but sometimes you are you are the only person for the job. There is no one else. Um, and I don't mean that as an insult to you at all, but I mean it as a that you're you're the only person who knows what you know intrinsically what it should sound like. So why are you not the right person for it? Um and there is gotta know.

SPEAKER_04 1:54:09

I mean, you write a script sometimes and you're like, ooh, this one's mine.

SPEAKER_03 1:54:13

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Um like I I wrote hunger and I was gonna give it out, and I was and I just thought, no, I'm doing this one. Um and I had so much fun, and and then I did the whole production on it as well, and put all the sound effects and and it's so it's really immersive, and there's a real twist in the tail as well, and I just thoroughly enjoyed doing that, and and it you it just helps you reconnect with your art as well, sometimes when you're you're involved in it from beginning to end, full circle, uh, and then it puts you in a better place to write for other people, I think, because you you fall back in love with it to a degree or you re-energize, and uh yeah, some things you can only use your voice for, no, no one else will do. Uh, and I think anyone who says otherwise is is dishonest. Um and and I think yeah, but I and I will, but I do still write for certain voices. One day I'll be brave enough to pitch stuff outside of my circle. I I have a couple of times and it's gone a bit sideways. Um there's a terrible habit of ghosting in this community, I think to a certain point. You know, you have the discussions, you're ready to rock and roll, and then nothing. And I just I don't I can't cope with people being rude. So if that ever happens, I don't ever approach them ever again because I just think there's no need. And there are so many worthy people out there that can say my words who are perfectly polite, and if they are too busy, they say so. They don't just disappear. Yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:56:02

No, even if they're not a big thing. I consider that a reliability issue.

SPEAKER_03 1:56:06

Pardon?

SPEAKER_04 1:56:07

I consider that a reliability issue. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:56:10

Yeah, if you can't answer yeah, if you can't do business with me, just say so. I won't take it personally, that's just how this space works. It's like any business works that way, but I can't imagine going out into the working world and getting to the point of completing a project or you know, shaking hands and signing a contract and then ignoring them. That's very unprofessional to my mind. Um, so I and I'd I I'd honestly and I'll say that I don't care who you are, you just don't do that. It's there is I say there are so many talented people out there who are perfectly polite.

SPEAKER_00 1:56:53

And then there's so many bots in this community right now, too. I was having this issue trying to um get a new logo. I was talking to Delilah about it yesterday. It's like I had put out a request for an artist, and I swear 95% of the people that answered me are bots, and then I'm like, I don't like, I think you're a bot. And then they're like, oh, this is my website, and then you go to the website and it's like a legit website, but then you click on the socials and it brings you to a completely different social. You're like, Yeah, well, you're you're fake, so we're gonna move on.

SPEAKER_03 1:57:28

And anyone who outsources stuff like that as well, go away. Um, if I'm commissioning someone, I I want that person, um and I think that's fair enough, it really is. And uh I don't mind using proxies, um, but then you be honest about it. Uh, and also the the whole gen AI thing as well, it makes you feel you're walking a minefield these days. Oh, it's a witch hunt, yeah, yeah, absolutely. I've made mistakes, I definitely have, and I hold my hands up to that and say, Well, it was I was ignorant, I didn't know, I apologize profusely, and I have learnt my lesson and now work with with kind of human voices and human artists only. Um, and which you know it's pervasive, and if and Delilah knows where I sit on this, like it's really hard because if you're that against it, which you should be in a creative way, there's no two ways about it. Only humans can write human stories, as far as I'm concerned. Right. Um but if if you're massively against it to the degree, then you know get off social media because that's 90% AI now, like like all of it. So you you have to you have to approach things with balance, I think, and be like, right, well, this is my stance, this is where I sit. I will just I can only promise that as far as my knowledge goes, I'm using humans for for my artwork and my outreach stuff. Um, but you know, it it's hard to know these days, it really is.

SPEAKER_04 1:59:28

It truly is. It truly is when I remember being on Teams that would say, Okay, so for our events and our ARC reads and everything that we're promoting, we absolutely do not work with authors that use AI, and this is how you identify it. Well, some of the things that they would tell us are just appropriate grammar.

SPEAKER_03 1:59:50

But this is my army. I actually wrote a poem called Spare the M-dash. Um, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 2:00:00

I remember that poem.

SPEAKER_03 2:00:01

Yeah. Yeah, I was a little bit cross. Because I use it in everything, and I I've stopped using it, and I'm like, why have I stopped using it? This why am I being dictated to by people who were ignorant?

SPEAKER_04 2:00:14

And I've recently-classes in college, that's how they tell you how to write.

SPEAKER_00 2:00:18

Right, yeah, and then I've seen like I think it was the call maybe three weeks ago, someone had posted like an Emily Dickinson and was like, Oh my gosh, she must have used AI.

SPEAKER_04 2:00:32

I saw that too. I was like, really? No. They they did the same thing with Bronte. And I was just like, they're just using appropriate grammar. Like, this shouldn't be. This is how you write. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:00:48

It's uh I was just well, it's automatic to me. I, you know, I tap away off I go, and then I'll I'll scan it and reread it. And yes, I use grammarly because I'm make mistakes, and sometimes it's just nice to have something go. Uh maybe think about how you're phrasing this, or maybe have a check in grammarly, you know.

SPEAKER_04 2:01:11

You don't want to put anything out there like where literally orgasm or organism. I don't know why.

SPEAKER_03 2:01:19

I've said this to I don't yeah, I've said this to you myself. It's like I will use Grammarly. It's a tool that helps me put out my best work. Um and it takes some of the load off as well. It's like I I'll and and I think Delilah, you're probably the same. We get onto a keyboard and that's it, we're just gone. And uh you come up for air, and then you think, oh god, does it even make sense? How has it even been structured correctly? And I know and I know as a writer, you you just it kind of you know this instinctively. Um so when the words are flowing, you know that it's generally gonna be okay. But you know, something like Grammarly is just so helpful. And I think if we get to the point where we're not even allowed to use that, then I'm just gonna quit. Do you know? It's like, ugh.

SPEAKER_04 2:02:15

So well, you know, it's it's rough, you know, because I've definitely put stuff out there where I've accidentally misspelled a word or I've forgotten a comma or something like that, especially with Flame in the Hollow, especially with my debut novel.

SPEAKER_03 2:02:29

But that's your that's your very first one. I mean, my argument with first editions is if it's perfect, then there's something really suspicious about that. Um, because the whole point is that it you're it's your very first thing. It's not there's no way it's gonna be show ready. I mean, it'll be great because the story's the story, but it won't be your best work in that respect. And that's okay, that's perfectly fine, and that's how it should be.

SPEAKER_04 2:03:00

And people take away stars from you. There's just no great spelling words, like they don't, it's not like the content of the story or how it is or how they identified with the characters, yeah. You know, oh, she spelled transcendence.

SPEAKER_03 2:03:16

Three stars. It's like, do you even know? It's like, but you want to get in the comments and go, do you even know what that word means?

SPEAKER_04 2:03:24

Well, I I had somebody give me two stars on Flame in the Hollow because they thought that the um the whole white swan, black swan thing was weird and they didn't get it, and they didn't know it was in there. I had well, I had a girl that was like ready to go after her on Goodreads. I would have just let her go and sat back and watched. Don't do that because her review spoke for itself. She didn't understand Swan Like or my ode to Trikowski. Yeah. And I was like, just let my what she wants to think. It's okay. She didn't get it. And I was just like, if she's if she's never heard the story, she's probably not going to.

SPEAKER_03 2:04:10

And oh, I don't know. I I sometimes think people do need educating. And if you're not doing the educate in someone else's, then it's quite entertaining.

SPEAKER_04 2:04:19

It sometimes is, but yeah, I mean, keep in mind that you know, people like you and me, like you said earlier, we do the research.

SPEAKER_02 2:04:25

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 2:04:26

You know, we do the research. I looked up what names were popular during that time period for women. Odette came up. I was like, oh, and then that plants to see, doesn't it? Yes, it does. So it's like a domino effect over and over and over again, and that's what I did. And you know, it's you know, if people don't understand or they don't know, they don't know. You don't know what you don't know. And I'm sure she was educated soon after she made that review by somebody, because if if if my if my friend out there was willing to go after her that quickly, I mean she sends me a screenshot of the review. Do you want me to tell her something? And I was just, no, I don't. No, leave her alone. Just leave her alone. I'm I'm just like, people are gonna read that review and they're gonna know that it speaks for itself.

SPEAKER_03 2:05:16

Yeah, because there there will be enough people that do know that are like actually, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 2:05:22

Oh my goodness, there was there was a friend of a friend of mine, you may know her too, uh, suffering magical girl, yeah, who reached out to me and she studied music quite heavily. And she goes, That was a beautiful oh, did Trikowski as unhinged as that book was? Yeah, she knew what it was right away.

SPEAKER_03 2:05:38

Yeah, so for the ones that don't know, there are the ones that do, and that all balances out in the end.

SPEAKER_04 2:05:45

Like you said, you know, we found our corner, we found our people, and not everybody is gonna understand us or why we write the way that we write. Yeah, but then you have people that do, and so Alicia, I know you have pink lemonade right now. Have fun and feel free to DM me the entire way through that book, even if the DM is just what the fuck, Delilah. Just do it. Just do it because I want to pull you out of your reading slump.

SPEAKER_03 2:06:27

Yeah, it's a good one, it's a good one to do that with, definitely. Um, just because it's unhinged doesn't mean it's well written or not observational. It's deeply observational.

SPEAKER_04 2:06:43

So all of those places I've been to and I know about. So everything in the settings are real. Yeah, obviously, Bigfoot is not real. No, I want to excuse me. I want you to look up Alan Richardson.

SPEAKER_03 2:06:59

Ah that was the chat, that was a whole chat. I was like, it's this guy. Because he was doing the Sasquatch soap ads. And I sent you that in the chat and said it's him, and you're so very muscular. Because I would climb that man like a tree.

SPEAKER_04 2:07:17

Oh, I'd throw a leg over that in a heartbeat. Um, but yes, it was based off of based off of him. It was just so easy, just so easy. Yeah. And um, yeah, every time I go to Santa Cruz, I always stop at the little dip and dots cart on the boardwalk, and I get dip and dots, like the biggest possible thing of dip and dots I could get. And so um, I incorporated that into the sex. And um it's uh it's it's a ride.

SPEAKER_05 2:07:55

It's a ride. It's a big thing.

SPEAKER_04 2:07:56

I want you to know, I want you to know. Um Angela loved that book. Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_01 2:08:04

You made you made your t-shirt, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 2:08:08

She was she wanted a tank top. She was like, I need that, I need that on a tank top, please. And thank you. Yeah, I think she made a video about it, didn't she? Well, when she got her PR box, she did a very boobalicious guess what book I'm reviewing today.

SPEAKER_03 2:08:25

Yeah, she wore that shirt in Vegas as well. She was repping.

SPEAKER_04 2:08:32

She was. She was she was repping me, she was repping Jack Daddy. She wore his shirt too. Uh-huh. She was there for it. Like, she was a true street team. She was out on the streets, like reping everybody.

SPEAKER_03 2:08:46

Yeah. She had my uh the my tote bag. So I'm very sensible, and I'm like, what would be a really useful match item? And I was like, We all have a tote bag. So I was very grown up and sensible, and just put my book cover on a tote bag. And uh, and they're very useful. Put your groceries in them. You can carry other books, it's it's a whole thing.

SPEAKER_04 2:09:13

They are we're not allowed plastic bags in California anymore. So that totally everywhere. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:09:21

Yeah, we can't have plastic bags either.

SPEAKER_03 2:09:23

Yeah. So that's partly what it so save the planet one smutty book bag at a time. There you go. That could be a line, couldn't it? Merch ideas. Saving the planet, one smutty book bag at a time. So but yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:09:43

We just put a failure on to a new project. I was gonna say she's gonna be writing a Captain Planet script.

SPEAKER_03 2:09:49

Oh, don't, because I have done a prompt for a Battle of the Planets, you know, G Force, though you guys might not even know what that is. Back in the day, there was a cartoon show called Battle of the Planets, and it's phenomenal. Check it out. And uh, it's like a group of heroes um called G Force, and it's it's just I can't describe how fantastically brilliant it is. You need to check it out. See, this is the other thing about being quite old, is that I can pull on uh influences from way back when that are brand new to audiences today, so they think that I'm really, really brilliant coming up with all these ideas, and I'm just pulling heavily from my back in the day experiences, and uh I mean I'm still waiting for like a Thundercat. Well, I'm doing a gargoyles one.

SPEAKER_04 2:10:49

Oh, good, yeah, because Goliath, Goliath is um one of my hear me out.

SPEAKER_03 2:10:55

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah, he started it for me, I won't lie. Um but this it's a sapphic one, so it's a female gargoyle. So that's quite that's quite a fun one. Um I'm looking forward to to getting that done. Uh so we love it. Yeah, I I haven't written haven't written actual monsters yet. So I thought if I start with a sapphic one, then um we we can maybe get on to uh Daisy Chains with centures and and things. But then how do you get that voiced? This is the other thing, is like you do have to write within limits. Um, but then part of me is like, well, why? Why do I have to do that? There's bound to be someone out there or a group of someones out there who will say, Yes, I will do this. Um so I think I might just write it anyway.

SPEAKER_01 2:11:51

I think you should.

SPEAKER_03 2:11:52

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 2:11:54

Just do it. I love it. Just do it.

SPEAKER_03 2:11:57

Do it, do it. That is A constant chant, do it, do it. We've said that more times than I care to remember when one of us has been like, Well, I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 2:12:10

There's been so many times where I've, you know, I've either been approached about a project or I've been like, I just don't know if I should do this or whatever. And then I just hear the do it, do it, do it in my head. And I'm just like, all right, I'm gonna do it. I may just have to space it out a little bit so I don't kill myself. But that's the thing.

SPEAKER_03 2:12:35

There's just not enough day. There just isn't enough day for all of the stuff that's going on.

SPEAKER_04 2:12:42

There truly isn't, but I'm slowly catching up now.

SPEAKER_00 2:12:45

And that's why Ophelia sleeps four hours a night.

SPEAKER_04 2:12:48

Right. That's exactly why Ophelia sleeps four hours a night. And you know, it's it's rough. Eventually, your body's gonna hit a wall and you're gonna be like, okay, I'm gonna need to sleep for four days straight now, and then I'll get back at it.

SPEAKER_03 2:13:02

That's generally what happens. It really is. That's that's the um the cycle, if you like. And but while while Patricia's on a roll, I will just follow it through because she's coming up with some really great stuff lately.

SPEAKER_04 2:13:19

Just let Patricia bang it out, honestly. I actually went in looking for Patricia the other day, and you had just posted that you were gonna be offline for a little while. I was like, oh dang it, but I wanted to run something by Patricia. Um because I wasn't sure if it had already been done or if you had done something like it, but I ended up just writing it in my own way, anyways. Thank you. Um My Villainous is about that's the one my villainous is about to read. Um it starts out a certain way and then it ends with her being a succubus.

SPEAKER_03 2:13:54

So it's like it's a bit like hunger. So she you think that she's an innocent human being and she goes to the vampire's castle, blah blah blah. And it turns out she's a succubus, and then what whatever the vampire feeds on, he becomes. Um, so yeah, that whole twist in the tail, it's just so much fun to do stuff like that. It really is. Um I loved it, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 2:14:24

Um the tidbit is it's it's called psychic heartline. And um she's a psychic, and these men call her, and she does phone sex during the readings, right? And um I really loved the concept, and for Instagram and Patreon, I made it short, but I was like, I could make this longer. Yeah, I mean, I could have her reading lines on their dicks instead of their palms, and there you go. There's just like so much I could do here. And I was like, and Slade's perfect for it. Oh my gosh. And then at the end, she's like, Do you want an in-person reading? And she has them actually come to her establishment and she eats them.

SPEAKER_01 2:15:14

And I love it. Make it happen.

SPEAKER_04 2:15:18

Yeah, we need the full audio. I could honestly have made that a whole series.

SPEAKER_03 2:15:22

Yeah, we need the full audio.

SPEAKER_04 2:15:25

Yep. I I need I need to do that and give it to her because I was just like, I just fell in love with it. It was the first piece of writing I fell in love with um when I started writing again. And I was just like, that was kind of like my coming back into writing the scripts and I jumping back on chain by fire.

SPEAKER_02 2:15:46

Yeah. Yep.

SPEAKER_03 2:15:51

I uh well, I'm on a roll at the moment. Who knows what I'll be coming up with next? I say I'm mostly done with the Moretta mask, which is fucking hot. And and then I don't know what next. I've got to do the editing for an audio, which will be coming out. Uh, I'll I'll say this here it's Throbin Hood is the next drop. And I'll say his name too. Jack. Um, Jack Daddy Voice has done uh British Robin or Throbin. I mean he angsted over it, but I listened to it uh last night and today, and it is phenomenal. You ain't ready for British Jack, you're just not ready. And uh he's like, Oh, let me know if it slips, I'll do a few more. And it there are a couple. He's not so I used to take the piss out of Angela all the time for her horrific English accent, and I'd be like, All right, Dick Van Dyke, because and I and and I just would all the time say, Yay, Dick Van Dyke, and then the memes would start, and she'd be like, Shut up! And uh he is very convincing, so even to my ears, um, I just thought, yeah, that this is absolutely spot on, and there are several lines that you just ain't ready for. Um, so that will be an immersive one, it will have lots of sound effects and background and um foley. So I will be spending a few days working on that after I finish this script. So that's what's coming up. You heard it here first.

SPEAKER_02 2:17:44

Yeah, yeah. Amazing.

SPEAKER_04 2:17:50

So there's lots of exciting stuff coming up, and um yeah, it's it's something that I think our whole group is following right now is just do everything, just try it, yeah. You know, because it it just feels like such a simple concept.

SPEAKER_03 2:18:09

But it's like the Assassin's Creed mantra, isn't it? It's like nothing is true, everything is permitted. And yes, and I know it's from a game, but you just think, fuck yeah, that's so true, that is so it. Um just do it, just go with what the cre where the creativity goes, and uh and we'll all be there for it. And it's just such a shame that Angela's not here to to enjoy it with us, right?

SPEAKER_04 2:18:44

She was my main pusher whenever whenever I'd be you know straddling the fence on something, she would be the one to like push me over the edge. Yeah. She would just be like, just do it.

SPEAKER_03 2:18:58

Why are you why are you even asking? Why are you even having a problem with this? Why are you even arguing with yourself? Yeah. And then you'd be like, oh, actually, it ain't that deep. It ain't that deep.

SPEAKER_04 2:19:11

No, not at all. So I I definitely miss that. Yeah. I definitely miss, um, you know, I I think I've told you both that I don't even really like to log into right in front of my TBR right now. Um, because every morning I would wake up and I'd have some dumb message right at the top of my my inbox. And it was, you know, it was either her bitching about one of her um her claims from work or an inspection that she had to do because she did food inspection, and you know, there was there was like a weird food truck or something like that that was gross or whatever. And you know, she would she would tell me about that, or she would send me like a reel just to make me laugh.

SPEAKER_05 2:19:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 2:20:00

Or if something had happened or I was sick and she noticed that I wasn't online for a few days, she would start there. Yeah. And if I still didn't log in and respond, she would be calling me like an hour later. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Bitch, you alive.

SPEAKER_03 2:20:20

Yeah, like literally.

SPEAKER_04 2:20:22

Are you mad at me? It would be like, Are you mad at me? I know you're not mad at me. I didn't do nothing. Like, I'm not mad at you. I'm just here running 105 fever dying. Yeah. But she's gonna be so missed, not only by us, but by the community in its entirety. Um I at this time, and I I mean, I could be wrong. Maybe I just haven't met the person yet. I do not know another hype girl like her. No. Yep. Yeah. She would always be the one where I'd say, oh, you write spicy scripts or you do erotic audios or you know, something like that. Oh, well, I know the person you should talk to about promotion if that's what you want. Because she gets results. Yeah. And people watch her and she's happy to do it. Yeah. And uh that was that was her. And so now I'm just like, I haven't met anybody like her yet.

SPEAKER_03 2:21:31

So and I probably there is you never will. You never will. Um, and that's kind of as it should be, really. Yeah. Um yeah, she's a hard act to follow for sure.

SPEAKER_04 2:21:43

Yeah, for sure. Right. I think that there are certain things that were only hers, and it was her personality in combination with the things that she was willing to do. And, you know, like you said, you know, the the spicy outfits, uh, but like the the ones that went with the day were so good. I still remember her elf costume. I remember, you know, all of that, like the stuff that she was willing to do for the people that she promoted. And I I mean, I I wasn't wrong in the poem I never wanted to write. Yeah. She would literally bring to me these voice actors that I didn't know of, and she would be like, You gotta listen to him. Yeah, you gotta listen to this girl, and she'd be like, They're amazing, they're amazing. You gotta figure out who's writing their stuff and be their friend because it's cool. And she would she would be that person. I mean, not just for us, but for other people. Does it fit? Should I mention their name here? Yeah, right, yep, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:22:50

She networked for us hard.

SPEAKER_00 2:22:54

She's everywhere, yeah, sure is, and I love that.

SPEAKER_03 2:22:59

It's still hard to open Instagram though and see her all over my grid. Yeah, um, they'll be there forever, and uh um like the voice notes and things, um it's it's really hard to hear them sometimes, um, although I have revisited a few of them and backtracked through some of the conversations we've had because they are unreal. It's like, what were we talking about? But it's the it's kind of um you know, backyard philosophy. It's that whole, you know, you're figuring shit out and you're figuring it out together. And uh and it's and we're all in different time zones as well. So it's all the I'm just gonna leave this here so that when when you guys wake up, um it's there for you type thing, and kind of dropping little, oh, you guys would find this really interesting or really good fun. So I'm just gonna leave this here for for when you see it. And uh and the the thing is like the myself, Elena, and Alicia were uh sorry, Delilah. We're not it's okay. I'm so sorry.

SPEAKER_04 2:24:27

It's all right. Alicia, you and I have the same name, and I was gonna ask you if you pronounced it Alicia or Alicia. Alicia. I pronounced mine Alicia.

SPEAKER_00 2:24:36

My that's like where the inspiration came from because my mom had me like as a teen mom, and one of like the people in her school was like the only Alicia that she had ever known, and she fell in love with the name. So that's where I came from. Um, after I was supposed to be Matthew James, because they did tell my mom that she was having a boy. Um, so I was supposed to be Matthew James, but clearly girl power.

SPEAKER_04 2:25:07

So yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:25:09

Oh, that's hilarious. Um I love that. That's brilliant. Um yeah, it's uh I say we're we're the three of us are actually fairly shocking at communicating. So we're gonna try, aren't we? We're gonna try real hard.

SPEAKER_05 2:25:30

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:25:31

And uh, and I think we have, we've we've been better. Um I'm I'm really good at dumping my thoughts kind of once or twice a day, and then getting busy with stuff, and then I'm like, oh yeah, I need to make sure that I'm replying to people and and doing the thing. Um sorry, and she she would just get in my messages and be like, Lady, what's this all about? And I'll be oh yes, yes. So she'd pull me back to reality, right? I'd be like, Yeah, people do actually need to know about this stuff. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_04 2:26:09

So yeah, it's gonna be weird. It is gonna be weird, yeah, it's gonna be weird for a long time.

SPEAKER_02 2:26:17

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:26:24

But we'll get through it, and you know, we you can you guys can always reach out and just be I'm I'm not great as as you can you know, I'm sometimes I do disappear. Um but if ever you just need to chat or figure shit out, um I might not answer straight away, but I will answer. So just dump it on my doorstep and I'll I'll be like, oh yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_04 2:26:53

Same, same to both of you. You know, even even if I'm working next break, I'll call. Or when I get off, I'll um, you know, weekends I'm usually open, and even if I'm not gotta take a break at some point, gotta eat. Yeah, I will call. And so it's it's you know, I'm I'm here. Yeah, yeah. I'm here, and it's okay not to be okay.

SPEAKER_03 2:27:19

Completely. You and I've said this before, you have to feel all of the feelings, you can't feel happy all of the time, that's not realistic, right? Um, and you have to let it wash through you, um, and you have to recognise it and honour it as well, other otherwise it's just a bit disrespectful. Um, and they're they're what make our art art as well, because how can you write convincingly if you're only writing half the emotions? So you know, you have to use it and channel it and and and I've I've been writing lots of poems which will never see the light of day. These are my personal, it's my way of journaling. Um, my personal stuff, no one will ever see it. Um and and this is why I said to Delilah is poetry's a very deeply personal thing for me. And I have put stuff out there, but it's all been the light, fluffy stuff. Although I haven't put my potato poem out there yet, so I think I need to do that. Um, I love potatoes. So I've I've written an ode to potatoes. Uh which I I should so the light and fluffy stuff you'll see, but the personal stuff is is mine, and and it I've been processing a lot through it, and I find it really, really helpful. Um and I think writing has been incredibly helpful and beneficial for me, and I think that's why I'm on such a a role at the moment. It's like the words and I've said it already, the words are really flowing at the moment, and it's like I'm just gonna go with it, um, and then collapse at some point. Yeah, yeah. Um, so yeah, watch this space. Um, I am starting uh Delilah knows about this. I've had a project on the go for uh a couple of years now with a friend of mine. I'm write co-writing a book, or several books. It was a book, it's now several books, um, about women of a certain age and their friendship and the mad shit that happens to them. So that's now rolling. Um, so I'll have more news on that as well. It has a mystical element, because of course it does. Um it's why the Valkyries are called the Valkyries. Uh, so it's it's kind of there's some Norse mythology and whatnot in there, which is really good fun. It's such good fun to research all of that and to write about it, and that it there's all inspiration everywhere, and uh unfortunately it's taken quite a long time to get to this point, but we're there now, so I'll be able to share a bit more on that. Uh I mean they might even be monster cocks, who knows? There's definitely an underground sex dungeon, so there is as there should be, yeah, run by Woden. Uh because he's in it, which yeah, it's yeah, it's unhinged. I love it. So, ladies, I'm gonna have to sign off because it's getting quite late here. Yeah, it's been really beneficial though.

SPEAKER_00 2:31:00

Yes, thank you, ladies, so much for coming on and chatting with me and just vibing and loving on Angela with me for a little bit.

SPEAKER_04 2:31:13

I'm always down to love on my girl. Oh, God. Um, but thank you so much for having us. I know that this probably wasn't the easiest um episode for you to record.

SPEAKER_01 2:31:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 2:31:25

Um, but I am I'm really, really hoping you can breathe easier a little bit soon.

SPEAKER_00 2:31:32

I'm I'm not gonna lie to you guys. Um, I might just raw upload this.

unknown 2:31:38

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 2:31:39

I don't even know what I said. It's like, oh my god, panic. Did that make sense?

SPEAKER_00 2:31:48

Yeah, like because you know that's who she was, and that's what we all connected on. So I might just get off and upload this like today, if I'm being completely honest.

SPEAKER_03 2:32:00

That's fine by May. I may, yeah, I don't have a problem with it.

SPEAKER_00 2:32:04

Yeah, I haven't, I haven't uploaded an episode in a while because I just haven't been editing and I just haven't been in it. But like I know I guarantee you nowhere's gonna be one of the first people to listen to this episode because him and I have been talking about this whole situation a lot too. And um yeah, I just feel like a note to her would just be like, fuck it, don't edit it. We're just gonna put it out there for the world.

SPEAKER_03 2:32:29

She never edited or filtered her thoughts or feelings at all. I think that's actually um the the most Angela thing you can do for.

SPEAKER_00 2:32:44

So it will be up today.

SPEAKER_03 2:32:48

Hooray!

SPEAKER_00 2:32:49

All right, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 2:32:50

I'll be looking forward to it.

SPEAKER_03 2:32:52

Yes, and I I can't promise that I'm gonna put Skimpy underwear on and promote it, but I will in that respect, but I definitely will be pushing it because people need to hear how big an influence she's been on us and our journey and us starting out and all the moments of doubt and fear and worry, and she's there going, girl, what you talking about?

unknown 2:33:18

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 2:33:18

It's like shut the fuck off and just do it.

unknown 2:33:21

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 2:33:22

Exactly. Never once was was there a question. Whenever I put something out there, as soon as she got it, she was promoting it. Yeah, yeah. Immediately, she she came from the gym one time, no makeup. I remember your girl's sweaty as fuck, but here I am. Yeah, I have a book. I mean, there's nothing more real than that, is there? So right, and that's that's exactly how she was. Yeah, just real. Completely never fake, ever.

SPEAKER_03 2:33:51

Yep. And and I I think we need to honour that and do everything as authentically as possible. Um exactly in her honor. Which I'm not sure you lot are ready for, but you know.

SPEAKER_00 2:34:08

Well, if they're not, they're about to learn. Right, right. You're gonna learn today. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 2:34:15

If you don't know, now you know completely. So that that being said, um, you can expect it to get more unhinged and deranged.

SPEAKER_03 2:34:23

Oh, yeah. It's only right that we do that.

SPEAKER_04 2:34:27

Yeah. Because that's what she would have wanted. Like, seriously. I'm not even joking. Completely.

SPEAKER_00 2:34:33

We might have to make this like a monthly uh shit talking podcast.

SPEAKER_04 2:34:39

I would love to that too. I would love to. I mean, I mean, for me personally, if you see anything of mine and you're just like, what the fuck is that? Yeah, I'm I'm always willing to come in and talk to you. Absolutely. We're friends now.

SPEAKER_03 2:34:52

We are friends now. Oh, see, now that's not that's an adventure in itself when you're you're in the inner circle. It that's a whole new thing.

SPEAKER_00 2:35:07

Angela's still doing her thing, bringing people together. Yes, she is.

SPEAKER_01 2:35:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:35:16

All right. Well, thank you, ladies. I know you both have very important things to do now, and it's late for Ophelia. Thank you, my loves. It was amazing talking to you both. Truly. And we will talk to you. And we will talk soon.

SPEAKER_03 2:35:31

Yeah, it's cathartic, and I very much enjoyed myself. Thank you. Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_00 2:35:36

Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 2:35:37

Big love.

SPEAKER_00 2:35:38

All right. Bye, guys. Bye. This has been Bound in Dark Inc. with Alicia. You can find me on Instagram at Bound in Dark Inc. and Pretty Mama's Books. Until next time, stay dark, stay obsessed.